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I feel my pulse beat and buzz through my head as I set down the rotomphone in my hand, I'm shaking, I am not stable despite sitting in bed with my Pyroar by my side. I have been exposed by... myself. I never thought there'd be a day where I would find myself tearing me to shreds and exposing me to the world, those who I want to impress, as I am. I've never felt more scared in my life. These people have gone tooth and nail to defend me, but they shouldn't, and they don't know who they defend. I am not the person I say I am. They don't know who I am. I am a liar and a cheat, I stand in the crowd and infect the rest with who I might be.
I find myself turning against the sheets, my lungs caught in my chest as I try to fall asleep and calm down, but I can't, I am clothed yet feel naked in everyway, my mask has been removed and I no longer have the ability to protect who I am. My Pyroar huffs next to me and comes closer for cuddles, and that's what I need, I need the comfort I will never get from others. I turn on my back and let my Pyroar rest ontop of me with his head upon my chest, and I scratch his chin idlely as I think over who I am and who I will be.
I only started out running Lysandre Labs as an ex-Professor's student, with my merit there yet almost no one following behind me except my university friend, Xerosic. He managed to get his scientist friends to back me up, and I built an empire of a company that is well respected and loved. We started with biological research, and we have made it to production lines that connect all of the Earth, and soon we will be producing our own pharmaceuticals for half the price other manufacturers do. My goal is there, it has been met and surpassed, and I should be pleased. But I'm not, I want more, not money wise, I don't feel greed, I just feel a need to shoot higher. By getting into the area of work that I am in, I have realized just how far people will go to rule the world, the market, over everyone.
Money drives my colleagues and competitors' hopes and dreams, unlike my own, and I can only stare at them with disgust as I build my own empire that lives to support others. I am loved by my peers and employees and the community, yet I fear the people who stand at the top of the corporate world. They have torn through nature itself and have began to produce and manufacture in ways that destroy ecosystems and tear apart our atmosphere. It's disgusting. And people praise them for this. I find it detestable. I am not like others. I am my own person. I lack the amount of greed others do. In my charitable events and donations, I have realized just how far people will go to have what they want.
People will beg for more than they'll ever need, they'll steal and kill for it, and expect sympathy from others for it. I can only watch in horror as it happens, as people lobby my company to produce more and in more eco-harmful ways, and I can only politely turn them down when I want to personally kill them myself. The world is beautiful in history, images that paint our landmarks tell of a time so beautiful and I can only wish I lived amongst them. My ancestors lived in a Kalos that lacked hate and greed, and modern people have ruined the beauty of my homeland. I refuse to live like this. Many others do as well, and that's when I formed Flare.
We weren't supposed to be bad people. We aren't bad people. We protest those who stand at the top and laugh down upon us as they cause war and filth to invade our precious planet. We work to return the land to the Pokémon to those who need it more than us. We were even starting a fund to support an archaeological team to revive Pokémon that had gone extinct in the past. I suppose it all changed when they brought up the spirals of Geosenge. Those spirals that are covered by rock and dirt, yet tell a story beyond us.
I unearthed the original plans for it, the ones that my long gone ancestors had made, and I became so fascinated with it.
Using the powers of Xerneas or Yveltal, the spirals can bring life back or decimate it completely. It's a wonderful device, and I planned to keep it under the earth, as it was not supposed to fall into the wrong hands. I suppose those wrong hands were mine. My wretched hands, those that tear those I love away in search of my own dreams. I brought my plans to extract pieces of it to research its powers to my lab technicians, and its power is beyond what any have seen before. The elements it is purely made of is only found in mega stones alongside it. I suppose I have become fascinated with both Mega Evolution and it, as the love of my life studies and uncovers the science behind this evolution.
I'll have to bring up the spiral to him one day. I haven't properly hung out with him in a long time. We are both so busy, he's the regional professor and I'm just a business man. I wish I could tell him how I felt, who I am, but I am fearful of the person I will become. I fear myself. I think meeting another version of myself is revelational and a sign from the gods that I should change.
Should I even mention how I talked to a poor Pory earlier? I feel horrible. I sounded like a horrific person as I tore them apart for not knowing, but we all don't know at some point. I assume I just felt protective over a friend. I fear I've shoved them away as well. I contacted them afterwards, and they seemed... upset. Extremely upset. They were quiet to me, something atypical of them. I suppose it could be the stress of their teacher being almost deathly ill, and I'll comfort myself with that, but I'll internally believe that I have upset them. Now with the new threat of my alter interacting with those I want to respect me, I am struck with fear and grief beyond my control. I fear the worst. I can only hope for the best. As I close my eyes to rest, I can only beg that life changes in my favor, and I blink away tears of despair, for I am the person I have feared my entire life.
At the end of the tunnel, I see a man I never thought I knew, and the ending is my personal hell.