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Lloyd plays with the hem of the green tunic, as he shifts uncomfortably. It’s the end of his first week of training, and he feels the very core of his being ache from how sore he feels. Plus, the green gi’s cloth is scratchy, and he thinks it’s gonna give him a rash, but he feels silly telling this to anyone when there is a threat of the end of the world at stake, at some… Undefined point in the future that Lloyd isn’t quite sure of. It could be tomorrow! Though he’d like to think his father would let them wait a bit before attacking. He frowns. He doesn’t actually know what his father would want for him.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Another voice takes him out of his own head, and Lloyd turns to see Nya leaning on the doorway of the room. He visibly relaxes, but takes the opportunity to complain in stride.
“I can’t believe they’re making me train so many hours every day!” He throws himself on the bed, laying face down first and then rolling until he’s on his back. “It’s like back at the school, where we’d have two hours of P.E. every week- Except worse. Because now it’s 34 hours every day with terrible teachers who need to take a shower.” He scrunches his nose and Nya chuckles slightly sitting beside him, eyeing him with amusement. He looks up at her, pouting. “I wish you could train with us. I bet you could actually explain things except of going ‘god, kid, why can’t you get it? It’s like, you know, dancing in your heart and going pew, pew, pew!’” Nya raises her eyebrows at the badly done Kai imitation” or, or, or, ‘such is the way of the river, Lloyd. One must let oneself know the way of the fishes before he can start swimming against the current.’” He groans and Nya laughs more heartily.
“Well, they’re the ones who know what they’re doing. I don’t know what I could really do to help you.” Her tone is light and she smiles at him, but Lloyd isn’t dumb and he can recognize her words as not completely sincere. He knows what she means is ‘I wish I were there training you, too’. He suddenly feels very guilty about bringing his training up in front of her, when so little ago it was both of them against the world, and he quickly sits up to correct himself.
“I would’ve much rather spent the day learning how to kick ass in a robot suit!” He makes a punching notion with his hands that he’s not sure is completely correct. “I bet that’ll be much more useful in the future anyways. Everyone knows ninjas are on their way out.” She laughs, and that’s enough for Lloyd. It’s not something he really believes, and Nya of all people knows that. She’s the one who has spent many evenings with him while the four other guys went on missions, and she knows how badly he wished he could have suited up and gone with them. Just like he knows how much she’d wished that, too. But now that he’s going to, it doesn’t seem fair. It feels like cheating, like a monkey paw wish.
“Well, we can still do that.” She pauses, thinking “On Sundays, maybe. Though with the ton of work you have, you might want to spend them resting.” Nya smiles apologetically. He knows she’s trying to cheer him up. They all have ever since his dad left. In part it makes him feel warm, but on the other it feels humiliating. He doesn't like pity. He’s always been taught it’s a sign of weakness, and he knows now it’s not true, but he still feels it. He frowns and turns away from Nya, staring out the window from the bed. “You also didn’t want to be the green ninja. You rejected it.” It comes out like an accusation, but to Lloyd, it’s a confession. “I don’t get it.”
Her hand is on his shoulder, and it feels more comforting than a thousand words. She softly pushes him back so that he’s looking at her. Nya’s brows are slightly furrowed, and he’s not sure if it’s concern for him or if she’s thinking exactly of what to say. When she finally speaks, it’s slow and built with a tension Lloyd is not really used to.
“When Kai and I were younger, our parents left us.” She’s quiet for a second, and Lloyd thinks she’s debating on whether or not to continue. “Since we were children, we had to learn to fence for ourselves. Work, steal, it didn’t matter. Everything had a price, monetary or otherwise. Nothing was ever given.” Lloyd nods slowly at her story, even though he can’t really understand where it’s coming from “But it gave you a sense of… Control. Autonomy. Everything was up to you, but it was up to you. Not to anyone else, not to our parents or a boss or a teacher. The world was at your fingertips if you were simply able to grab it.” Her eyes shine in a way that feels unnatural, that feels bigger than land. “Lloyd, I’ll tell you a secret” She gives him a mischievous smile, and lowers her head to whisper in Lloyds ear.
“When Wu said I could be the green ninja, I was really happy.” Nya immediately draws herself back, and grins at Lloyd. “But being the green ninja- It’s not something I’d be good at. Being destined for greatness and power? That’s not for me, that’s not something I could just be given.” Nya doesn’t look sad, and she doesn’t look happy either, but another emotion is clearly growing in her face. “Something like that- I have to earn it. Fight for it and take it. I want it to be solely for me.” At first Lloyd thinks she looks determined, but then he realizes it’s more like resignation.
“That sounds… Very tiring.” Nya smirks.
“It is. But that’s also why you’ve been given a different fate than me.” She ruffles his hair, and just like that the tension is broken. “And I couldn’t think of anyone more fitting for the role, Lloyd.”
“It’s just like…” He frowns, trying to make sense of his feelings. He’s happy, but a father-shaped hole stops him from being too happy. He’s excited but also way too tired. Wanting to get better and dreading it all at the same time. “I know I have no choice in the matter, so it feels silly to even fight it, but I also can’t bring myself to take the steps forward. It’s my destiny, but no one’s told me- How I’m going to do it.”
Nya hums, and Lloyd waits hesitantly for her answer. That’s something she likes about Nya, she always seems to take him seriously, always seems to think deeply about what he says.
“Well, I don’t know anything about destiny Lloyd.” Nya smiles at him “But I know a lot about you. And I know you” she points and pokes him “are going to figure it out. You’re the smartest kid I know, and I’m sure you’ll grow up to be the smartest adult I know.” She pauses “In due time, of course. You’re nothing but a little bug now.”
He sticks out his tongue, but soon enough they’re both laughing, and Lloyd feels just a little lighter. He stands up and shifts uncomfortably again. Damn old gi. “Also the gi’s uncomfortable.” he grumbles “Very scratchy! You might’ve dodged a bullet there.”
Nya laughs. “Come with me. I know a washing trick for that.”
Lloyd smiles and follows her, all his worries forgotten, at least for now.