Work Text:
Eddie woke up to a dull, throbbing pain in his head. The hospital room was dimly lit, the only light filtering in through the small window on the far side of the room. He squinted, trying to make sense of his surroundings, his eyes adjusting slowly to the dimness. The antiseptic scent and the rhythmic beeping of the machines nearby filled his senses, reminding him where he was.
His gaze fell on a figure seated next to him, a sight so familiar and comforting that his tension eased almost immediately. Buck sat there, hunched forward with his elbows resting on his knees, concern etched into every line of his face. The moment Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, Buck’s expression changed, a smile spreading across his face as relief washed over him.
“Hey, you’re finally awake!” Buck said, his voice gentle but tinged with worry. "You had us all scared there for a bit."
Eddie managed a weak smile in return, the fog in his head slowly clearing. “What happened?” he croaked out, his throat dry and scratchy.
“You had another close call, a collapsed building. You've been out for 3 days. But you're here, and you're gonna be okay, "Buck said smiling as he sat back in his chair.
Eddie nodded slightly, the memories starting to come back in bits and pieces. He remembered an accident, the feeling of falling bricks and debris surrounding him, then nothingness. It was all a blur, and trying to piece it together made his head hurt even more.
“Chris is with Abuela, he was worried for you. He was here earlier but you were still asleep by the time visiting hours were done”
Eddie closed his eyes briefly, letting Buck’s words wash over him. Just hearing Chris was okay lifted a huge weight off his chest. “Good,” he breathed out, relaxing back into the pillows. “Good…”
Buck leaned forward and his hand ghosted across Eddie's arm in comfort.
Eddie cracked a small smile, the corners of his mouth twitching up despite the exhaustion. “You really never leave my side, do you?” he joked, his voice still rough around the edges. “I thought I was supposed to be the protector here.”
Buck laughed softly. “I'll always be by your side Eddie I promise, you gotta make sure to remember that”.
“So, what’s been happening out there?” Eddie asked, trying to shift his focus away from the pounding in his head. “Catch me up.”
Buck launched into many stories about the last few days. He recounted what everyone had been up to. Chris had started making a photo album with all the pictures being of mainly the three of them together. He mentioned how he had taught Jee-Yung ‘you are my sunshine’ yesterday, it was Buck's favourite but Maddie always said she hated how sad it was. Hen and Karen had started a garden in a small patch in the far corner of their yard. Athena and Bobby had taken a few days off and mainly kept to themselves.
“Sounds like I’ve missed a lot,” Eddie muttered, his eyes closing again as fatigue crept back in. He wanted to stay awake, to soak up the comfort of Buck’s presence, but his body was already starting to betray him.
“Don't worry, they aren't going anywhere Eds”
Eddie nodded weakly, a small smile lingering on his lips. “Thanks, Buck,” he whispered. "You’re always here.”
—
The next time he woke up a nurse was taking down some information from the monitors.
She noticed him looking at her as she gave a small smile. “Good evening Mr Diaz, I'm just checking a few things” she finished up her writing, he looks over to the chair and sees Buck dozing off. The room was a little chilly as a shiver ran up Eddie's spine.
“Your family were here earlier, a few of your team as well. Your son is adorable by the way.”
Eddie frowned “I missed them again?”
She nodded with a look of pity on her face. “ I'm sorry Mr Diaz, it's the medication we have you on at the minute, along with a mild sedative to hopefully help the healing process.” She goes to take her leave.
“Wait, could we please get some more blankets in here?” he asked.
The nurse stares at him.
Eddie was about to ask what was wrong before she smiled once more, and walked to a cupboard next to what Eddie assumes is the bathroom, and took out another blanket.
She then puts it on the edge of his bed before making a quick exit.
—
Eddie woke up again in what he assumes is the early hours of the morning judging by the small amount of light he can see from the window.
Buck as always is sitting once again in the same hospital seat.
“Look who's finally awake” came Buck's all too cheerful greeting.
The medication had started to wear off and Eddie now felt two times heavier and a lot more like a building had indeed fallen on him.
“Apparently I missed everyone visiting yesterday” Eddie grumbles out.
“Yeah Chris was a bit upset, he said he missed me and that he just wants his dad back home, Bobby had his beads out as usual, Chim and Hen were also pretty upset but they stayed for a while. Oh Chim also brought Jee”. Buck's face lit up as he started talking about all the people that cared about them coming to visit. He then started to sing softly, it was almost a whisper but Eddie heard it non the less.
“You are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when the skies are grey..”
He sang softly, trying to imitate his niece's singing.
Eddie found immense comfort in Buck’s presence. Buck talked to him constantly, filling the room with chatter and warmth. He told stories, joked about hospital food, and made plans for when Eddie got out. It was just like Buck to be there, steady and unshakeable.
—
Buck was gone when he woke up next, apparently there had been a small complication that Eddie barely remembers, he had been quickly whisked away for surgery. The only thing he really remembers is Buck holding his hand and whispering re-assurances as the monitors around him went crazy.
Bobby sat in Buck's chair, rosary beads in hand.
“He's gone?” he says when he realises Buck had finally probably made his way home after witnessing whatever had happened to him.
Bobby looks up, tears in his eyes as his hand reaches for Eddies, it's warm.
“I'm sorry Eddie…”
He doesn't finish his sentence, he takes a moment before continuing.
“The doctors don't know what happened to you, I've been told to get them if you wake up…”
He stands on shaky legs and he goes to press a buzzer.
Before Bobby could even sit back down, Eddie was already drifting back to sleep.
—-
He woke up in darkness, but he knew Buck was there again. Buck's hand was on Eddies.
Eddie turns his head towards the chair.
“There is something wrong with me, Buck,” he croaks out.
Buck just looks at him, his sad eyes staring dead into Eddies.
“You will get better Eddie I promise”
His voice was gentle. The room was still cold. It was probably the middle of the night.
Eddie was exhausted. “ Did Chris come?” he asked.
Buck nodded “ He doesn't understand what's going on, he's terrified and scared.” Buck said honestly.
“I need to see him,” Eddie said as tears filled his eyes. “Buck… I think I'm dying”
“Don't say that Eddie!” Buck said desperately “Chris still needs his dad Eddie…”
Eddie looks away from Buck to stare at the dim hospital ceiling.
“At Least he will have you if I…” the words were left unsaid.
“Eddie… What can I do?” Buck asks.
“Will you sing to me?”
“I'll do anything, I'll be by your side, you remember?”
“And I'll always be by yours Buck” Eddie thought back to all the times they had been there for each other, on and off the job. They were partners. He can't leave Chris, but if the cards are dealt then at least he will have Buck to watch over him. And Eddie will be there. He will make sure. Even in death, Eddie will be by their side. Perhaps not in body… but he will be there. They will never be alone.
A soft melody reaches his ears.
“You'll never know, dear
How much I love you,
please don't take my sunshine away…”
Eddie drifts off.
—-
A small hand rests on his as he wakes, his body still feeling like he can barely move an inch without being in pain.
“Dad?”
His eyes snap open
“Chris?”
Tears well up in his eyes as his hand grasps that of his sons, warm and alive. Chris also had tears in his eyes as he squeezed his hand back as Eddie grasped and held it tight.
“Dad, why haven't you come home?”
“I'm so sorry Chris, I don't know what's wrong with me. I will try my hardest to make it back to you” he wanted to cry and scream and yell at the world for making his child possibly lose another parent. He hoped he would make it back, but currently he felt like every ounce of life was being sucked from his soul.
“I can't lose you to dad”
“You won't mijo” he can't promise but there is something he can.
“I will always love you, and I will always be there with you, remember that okay”
“I love you”
“I love you to”
Eddies' eyes started to droop. Soon sleep engulfed him once again.
—-
“Eddie, Eddie wake up!”
Eddie heard Buck's voice through his dazed state. His eyes that felt like lead now opened, the room temperature had plunged. He shivered against his will as his body screamed at the action. He couldn't move his muscles.
He tried his best to look over at Buck and managed a small turn of his head.
Bucks face was red, his eyes streaming with tears as he held onto Eddie's hand with his own.
“Eddie, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. I'm so sorry”
“Buck?” he whispered
Eddie was confused, what had happened? Why was Buck all upset?
Suddenly the door to his room opened, judging by his coat Eddie assumed he was a doctor.
“Mr Diaz I'm glad you're awake, I think we have found what is happening to you.”
The doctor said to him, Looking at his chart and not even bothering to look up.
“However this will unfortunately require brain surgery”
Eddie looked back towards Buck.
“Eddie… you're gonna be okay, you know you will be.” Buck said, running his hand up Eddie's arm.
“There is a chance of complications however with this particular surgery” the doctor continued “ usually we would have allowed family to come by first just in case, however we believe you will need this as soon as possible, we have already waited too long trying to figure this out”.
Eddie didn't like the nonchalant of this doctor's attitude, he just wants his family, at least he still has Buck by his side.
“Eddie…” Buck says
Eddie looks at him again.
“Eddie.. I love you so much, I care for you so much. But I'm so sorry, I wish I could do more…” Buck sighs, his eyes glistening. “ Eddie you have made me so happy, you gave me memories that I cherished, you and the team all loved me like your own family. I want you to know that Eddie, you hear me!”
“Buck, what's going on?” Eddie shakily asked, he was scared.
“Mr Diaz?, I'm sorry but who are you talking to?”
“What?” Eddie whispered, still barely being able to speak.
“Eddie….Eddie please look at me”
Suddenly the room grew even colder, dread washed over him, and slowly, he looked back towards Buck. the same Buck he had known for years, the same Buck who has saved his life, and his sons. He finally, truly, looks….
“I'm sorry Eddie…the building it… I'm so sorry… I died”
The machines went haywire, all he could hear was yelling, he felt hands on him. He was being taken somewhere. He didn't know where. Where was Chris? Where was Buck?
And just as his world faded into complete darkness he heard it, a few faint lines of a song with a voice he will never forget.
“The other night, dear
as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you
In my arms…..”
Then nothing.
—
A steady beep sounded as he started to come around, his body heavy and his mind foggy from the anaesthesia. The first sensation he registered was the sterile scent of the hospital room, sharp and clean, followed by the dull, aching throb in his head. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his vision. As he finally managed to open his eyes, the world around him came into focus
To his right, Bobby stood near the window, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, his head bowed. Athena was beside him, her hand resting on his arm, her eyes red-rimmed from tears she’d clearly been trying to hold back. Bobby looked like he was barely holding it together, the usual calm and steady man now burdened with a sadness that aged him.
Hen and Chimney sat nearby, both looking utterly exhausted, like they hadn't slept in days. Hen’s eyes were downcast, her hands clasped tightly in her lap, while Chimney rocked slowly in his chair, holding Jee-Yun close, Maddie sat beside him, crying softly into Chims arms.
Chris was sitting at the bottom of his bed. He was looking out the window. His Abuela stood beside him. A hand running slow circles over his back.
Everyone he loved with his whole heart was here.
All of them except Buck.
He let out a sob.
Those in the room were startled.
Chris was the first to move towards his father. Eddie reached out his hands to hold his son close.
Bobby was soon beside him whispering soothing words to him.
His Abuela was praying and Maddie was sobbing now too.
“He's gone…” he cried
“I know baby, I know” it was Athena. She wrapped an arm around him, the other around Chris.
“He's not here, he was!” Eddie sobbed out. “He was here and I didn't even know he was dead!”
He just cried. Soon the room fell into silence bar the sobs from both himself and those around him.
Buck said he would always be with them, no matter what.
But he's gone, he's gone and Eddie can never get him back.
Grief is a feeling that he is so familiar with, a type of pain that never leaves, and it's drowning him.
Buck won't be able to keep his promise. How could he always be by Eddie's side if he was dead.
And then he heard something that made his heart grieve, and beat, and die, and live, all at once.
When I awoke, dear
I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
My sunshine away…
Jee- Yung sang quietly from her fathers lap…
A song that neither Maddie nor Chimney had ever taught her.