Work Text:
Magnus wasn’t homeless because he just didn’t want to live with uncle Randolph he knew he could never survive in that house. Magnus knew he wouldn’t survive being forced into skirts and dresses and being constantly called his old name. it makes him miss his mother more everyday, she was the only person that understood why he is this way. Meeting Hearth and Blitz was the best thing that happened to him while homeless. They were the first people since his mom that made him feel seen and like he could really be himself around, they were family.
Then he died.
Dying was traumatizing enough but being called daughter of Frey in front of every dead hero ever was possibly the worst moment of his life, even after going through his journey and almost dying again he still looks back on it with dread and embarrassment. He loves his friends despite them being alive and him being dead but once Hearth and Blitz disappeared he started to realize how lonely he is without people around who are like him, but he also realizes that despite how they understand sticking out in society it doesn’t equal understanding his gender, but they tried their best when they were around. Samirah also tried to understand but after a long conversation trying to explain the sick feeling of dysphoria and failing at actually putting it into clear words he decided it was best to just wait for his two dads to come out of hiding to vent about his emotions.
After watching a goat get killed and chasing down his killer and dreading the quest to find Thor's hammer then coming back to Valhalla to find out the new einherjar is both a child of Loki and genderfluid gave him whiplash. After the shape shifting mess they finally are about to battle, not his favorite part of the day, it doesn't help that he can’t wear a binder unless he wants to deal with passing out mid fight.
Being called out for staring at Alex was embarrassing to say the least but he doesn’t know how to even begin to come out to her or if she’ll even care since she seems to hate him already. The more he looked at her the more he started to recognize her from somewhere. Being the awkward person he is, he opens his mouth and says “I’ve seen you before, Were you at the youth shelter on Winter street?” her expression sours “I hated that place.” she says and being the idiot he is he continues “Yeah. I lived on the streets for two years.” He knows that wasn’t a great thing to add when she raises her brow at him “You think that makes us friends?” She glares and turns away from him. She's right, he tells himself that's how she would react if he told her he was trans, he shouldn’t have got his hopes up anyway.
Having his head cut off was not the event he hoped it would be, especially the dream journey he went on, dinner isn’t much better, Alex was still in the front of his mind but he seemed to only be an annoyance to her. As if Alex’s mood couldn’t get worse it was time to view the video of her death in front of the whole hero afterlife. He felt so much deja vu watching Alex have to correct them on what to call her, though she handled it much better than he did. His coming out to all of Valhalla was a wide eyed stumbled correction and practically begging them to respect his name and pronouns, thankfully it only took one long talk from Magnus, hearthstone, blitz, and sam along with a hit in the head from mallory for halfborn to stop calling Magnus an Argr. He can’t lie and say he didn’t cry over it that night when he first called him, basically an ancient slur but Magnus only hoped halfborn would remember the lesson.
There's no debate about how incredibly heroic Alex’s death was. She was so much braver and stronger than he is that much is clear. Magnus ignored Mallory’s comment about Alex being perfect for Loki, he knows he should talk to Samirah about the goat murderer but the only thing he wants to do right now is talk to Alex. Maybe he could learn even the slightest bit of knowledge about her.
Once everyone starts flooding out of the food hall Magnus heads for Alex, their previous introduction was lacking so he plans to make this one at least a little better.
“Hey, Alex, I wanted to talk to you!” Magnus says smiling at her and trying to keep his confidence up under her sharp stare.
“About what?” She eyes him suspiciously
“Um, well i just think it’s cool that youre here and I wanted to formally welcome you since you had a rough beginning here, which is understandable death isn’t fun.” He meant to slip in the fact that he’s trans in there but he did say he’s not as brave as Alex.
“Thanks I guess?” She looks skeptical and turns and walks away, Magnus counts it as a failure.
~~~~~~
Magnus doesn’t attempt to come out to Alex again, over their adventure or trying to stop loki and not die its whispering at the back of his head. He talks to Samirah about it and she urges him to tell Alex but he can’t find the right time and honestly doesn’t want to. Alex is amazing and he’s just a defenseless coward who can’t even fight while she can fucking shape shift and take out wolves that would make him freeze up and start having flashbacks.
Now Loki is free and they're all waiting until they have to go stop the end of the world, Magnus is less than overjoyed. He’s spent the first week after their failure moping in his room and is sick with dysphoria every time he leaves it. He's noticed the way the group looks at him but he is trying. The best part of his day has become whenever he gets to be around Alex. Alex is sitting next to Samirah at the breakfast table and Magnus is pretending he’s not staring at him.
Magnus decides to be an idiot during battle and wear his binder, in his defense he doesn’t actually fight much in battle he’s the healer so nothing should go wrong but as he’s running full speed across the battlefield dizzy, out of breath, and light headed he’s reminded why he never attempted this no matter how bad his dysphoria gets.
“Magnus hurry up unless you want to die by a hoard of meatheads!” Mallory yells back at him, he would yell something back but the world starts to tilt. Alex ends up grabbing him and pulling him forward and he makes his legs work somehow, they end up getting a safe distance away enough for them to harass Magnus for almost passing out after running for only a minute.
“Magnus what happened back there?” Tj questions him as he starts regaining his breath
“I-” he looks at Alex for a second and she actually looks a bit concerned but also annoyed
“I wore my binder because i’m an idiot.” He sighs looking at the ground so he cant see Alex’s reaction, he gets multiple “why would you do that” and a couple “idiot”’s. Magnus doesn’t look up until Alex speaks up.
“You’re an Idiot Magnus Chase, I guess Halfborn is stuck carrying you if we have to run again.” She shrugs, Magnus looks up and swears there's a slight smile as she says it.
Halfborn does in fact have to carry Magnus multiple times because he swore on his death that taking off his binder was not an option.
After lunch Alex catches him in their hallway, Magnus is practically vibrating with anxiety over it but also excited to finally talk about this with someone. They talk a bit about the battle and the anxiety of saving the world until Magnus faces the inevitable.
“I honestly should’ve told you about me being trans sooner, I never actually came out to the group because I had to correct people in front of all of Valhalla on my pronouns so that was already done for me and Hearthstone and Blitz are the most welcoming couple to other gays so i barely came out to them I just told them my pronouns and the situation with my uncle and they understood.”
She listens to his long explanation and just nods “I get it, It takes time to get used to coming out, it helps when you have to do it everyday.” she jokes and Magnus smiles back “I can’t imagine”
They spend the rest of the next hour talking about their experiences being trans, nothing too personal but Magnus feels like he knows Alex more than he ever has and has never felt so seen by someone before.