Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The students are in the classroom playing with toys. Chef barges into the room, excited to tell them something

Chef Hatchet: KIDS, I’ve got a surprise for yo-

Cody: Is it my birthday?

Lightning: (looks at a calendar) that’s a few months awa-

Courtney: New rul-

Duncan: You got fired? (the students laugh)

Chef Hatchet:… I wish I was

(unfamiliar voices are heard)

Sugar: oh god… not him

Duncan: Let me guess, new students. About damn time since it’s literally the fou-

Courtney: Duncan, what did I say about swearing?

Leshawna: And who are these five?

Chef Hatchet: Surprise! New students! There is supposed to be a sixth, but she’d come tomorrow

Courtney: Isn’t this whole episode a repeat of a previous episode?

Chef Hatchet: Now that I think about it… some of our lines are reused from that episode. Anyways, meet Alejandro, Mike, Scott, Priya and Sierra. Why don’t y-

(Sierra runs to Chef)

Sierra: OMG HI CHEF! I’m Sierra, Total DramaRama’s biggest fan. I always dreamed of entering this daycare and-

(she looks at the camera) OMG I’M ON NATIONAL TV AAAAA THIS IS SO EXCITING

Cody:…isn’t she that girl that appears in my window a few times before?

Duncan: Pfft… we’ve all seen a girl with that hairstyle outside in the past month

Chef Hatchet: Wanna talk more about your-

Sierra: I can’t live without my phone, I run a blog about this amazing show and (sinister tone) I know every little secret about you.

(Gwen opens her eggchair)

Gwen: I kinda like her vibe.

(Gwen closes her eggchair)

Sierra: But that won’t be much of a concern, so as long as you be nice to MY CODY, I won’t reveal your home address to millions of people.

Chef Hatchet: That was quite intimidating… who’s next?

Sugar (to herself, whispering): Please not Scott, please not S-

Chef Hatchet: Scott, why don’t you introduce yourself

The lights go dark, wheel noises can be heard. The spotlight shines on Scott, now on that makeshift stage from S3E15.

Scott: Hey fellas, I’m Scott. And based on her reactions of me coming to this daycare, I’m Sugar’s cousin. So I know a thing or two about farmin’ and the best part — I’m the man with the plans. I can come up with a plan for any occasion, such as preventing a world apocalypse, wrangling were-hogs in case someone forgets to close the gate and robbing a commercial bank.

Harold: Pfft, yeah right, I bet they never work

Scott: (imitates that wrong answer noise), they work 75% of the time. (pulls out Harold’s lie detector) Why don’t you ask Sugar about it?

(Scott places the lie detector onto Sugar)

Harold:… fine. Sugar, how often does Scott’s so-called… "plans" work?

Sugar: Exactly! They never work, not even once in a blue moon as bright as the skin of a squeaky clean pig

(the lie detector bleeps)

Scott: heheheh, believe me now, Harold? Anyways, if you’re wondering why I’m using this… wall you find in a comedy cl-

Beth: Can you tell us a joke?

Scott: Can you please be patient? I’m getting to it soon. Anyways, I am a natural comedian, and I’ve got a classic joke for you guys! What does a farmer say when he loses his tractor?

Beth: What does he say?

Scott: Where’s my tractor? haha, get it. Because… he lost his tractor. It’s obvious

(half the kids laugh)

Courtney: I’m only laughing because the joke is so bad, it’s just… funny! Scott’s definitely going to keep us so entertained during nap time

Sierra: You know he can see what you say once the episode releases…

Courtney: Gah! Why didn’t I think about this? Now he’s going to be so mad…

Courtney: Where’s the tape? I want the tape. How do I OPEN THIS THING?

Chef Hatchet: That seems interesting? Who’s next?

Alejandro: Allow me to introduce myself, mi amigos. My name is Alejandro.

(some beautiful music plays)

Courtney: Oh my god-

Leshawna: He’s so beautiful

(record scratch) Owen: Hi Al! Welcome to the daycare

Alejandro: It’s A-LE-JAN-DRO. The J is pronounced like a H.

Owen: Sorry, kinda hard to pronounce your name, so Imma call you… Al for now

Alejandro: Eh, whatever. Could get used to this. Anyways, the three best traits about me, are being charming, smooth-talking myself out of anything and the thrill for an adventure. Yes, I’ve been to several places before I got into this… daycare. Speaking of it, I wonder how it magically repairs itself every time.

Noah: It’s probably due to the production budget for the show. The producers keep giving us money to repair the school every time it blows up, as part of it… it increased a bit more because we’ve shown to be quite… destructive at times.

Alejandro: Oh dear… Anyways, I met Priya in a Club Med a few months ago. We’ve hung around since then

Priya: Yup, that’s me! And I do have a knack of thrill-seeking like him. The only difference, he has a pretty… naughty side that he isn’t afraid to abuse to get what he wants sometimes

Alejandro: I told you not to talk about that. And look what you’ve done. They know.

Duncan: We aren’t surprised by that. Noah exists.

Noah: Since when did I manipulate others into doing whatever I want?

Sierra: Season 1 Episode 17. You tricked Bridgette into doing whatever you want. Does "Hiccup Island" remind you about it?

Noah: Yeah… but that’s a few years ago… wait how are we still four years old?

Beth: Anyone made a secret wish with some fairy 50 years ago?

Leshawna: Clearly not, because the only fairy that showed up was the Fart Fairy.

Priya: Anyways, we’ve been to many places together… China, London, Hawaii, Egypt, Morocco, Jamaica, Japan, we’ve essentially visited every part of the world under a short amount of time, that our passports are filled with stamps.

Sugar: And how did you achieve it?

Alejandro: Me and Priya’s parents are travel bloggers and reality TV pros.

Chef Hatchet: And next, we’ve got Mike! Give it up for him…

Mike: Hi, I’m Mike. And… that’s it… To sum it up, I can be pretty interesting… and

Duncan: Wanna learn how to fly?

Mike: Sure… let’s go outside

(Gwen opens her egg chair)

Gwen: oh dear…

Mike and Duncan are outside. Birds are flying outside. Vicious ones, to be exact.

Mike: What are we doing with bunny ears?

Duncan: Trust me, it’ll work

(an eagle swoops Mike up)

Mike: How could you-

(Mike drops down to the floor, he heaves a ridiculously large gasp)

?: Why don’t you stop spending all your lives putting people into danger, kid? We’ve got 8 hours in the daycare, and you can’t just spend them all either in timeout or pranking others.

Duncan: And who do you think you are pretending to be, Mike?

?: Mike? Name’s Chester. I’ve worked in this daycare for about 40 years and I’ve seen clowns like you run amok pranking children. One even got the death sentence for a prank gone wrong.

Courtney: Mike, can you help me tell Beth to stop putting her boogers all over the carpet?

(Chester takes a big gasp. Mike comes back)

Mike: uhh… alright I guess.

Duncan: Wait up, Mike! You have to ex- and there he goes.

Duncan: This four year old thinks he’s some middle-aged man working in this daycare? He’s delusional. Or is he trying to manipulate us into thinking it’s all an act? I don’t know

Mike: I can explain. My doctor diagnosed me with "dissociative identity disorder"… I have multiple personalities ok? I’m fine with them, just not their antics when I’m away… I can’t even control the

(Mike takes a big gasp)

Chester: Who puts cameras in the daycare? Did you know that that is a breach of privacy?

The camera cuts to inside the daycare, facing the wall next to the frog chair. 

Chester: How do you open this thing?

Sierra: It’s getting recorded, you can’t delete it now… It’s a special camera that stores the tapes "digitally"

Chester: Gosh, technology these days…

Sierra: It’s called a "confessional". You use it in this daycare to confess your inner thoughts to the viewers. Plus, there’s cameras everywhere. They’re just well hidden. Anyways, Mike, can you help me solve this Sudoku puzzle? I’m struggling with the last square

(Chester takes a large gasp)

Mike: It’s easy. The answer is obvious.

Sierra: I know. I just want Mike back. And I figured out how to get you back.

Mike: …how do you know?

Sierra: Courtney did it.

Mike: oh.

The camera proceeds to the carpet

Scott: What are you doing?

Duncan: Escaping this place, duh. I always dig a tunnel out to escape. Plus, it’s a lot more boring than ever. No "hero" kid comes along to ruin your cool kid reputation, leading to some cool-off.

Scott: I could help you do it, or I can help you plot the most dangerous prank… without involving that Mike guy. He’s freaking me out.

Duncan: You saw it?

Scott: Yup. I have two eyes for a good reason

Duncan: Cody! You wanna join in? This will be good! (cackles menacingly)

Cody: You sure…

Duncan: Yup, I promised we’d-

(Sierra pushes Cody away)

Cody: I’m sliding on the floor! I’m a figure skater!

Sierra: Stay five feet away from MY CODY, Duncan. So you dun-CAN’T prank him.

Duncan: Did you watch the Special?

Sierra: I did… and I do not trust what you said at the end. Even tho you bonded with Cody a bit.

Cody: Where’s Lightning? I do wanna introduce you to my BFF.

Sierra: you… have a BFF? Eh, that’s fine. You’re my lover… because I have a huge crush on you. I even tattooed your face onto my right arm for you

Cody: That’s a stick-on tattoo though.

Sierra: It’s fine. I just want to show you how much I LOVE YOU

(Sierra hugs Cody hard)

Sierra: Also, Lightning’s in the playground… with Alejandro and Priya. Wonder what they’re doing… Courtney’s also with them.

Cody: I’m starting to think the writers are getting increasingly lazy.

Sierra: If I’m not wrong, they’re playing ball catch.

The camera cuts to the playground

Lightning: Think fast, Alejandro (throws ball to Alejandro)

Alejandro: Catch it, Courtney. (throws ball at Lightning)

Lightning: WHAT? You can’t just do-

Courtney: I got it!

Alejandro: Eh, I’ve seen other kids do that on several occasions

Courtney: Priya, get the ba- NOT MY HAIR! AAAAAAAA

Priya: uhh… what’s wrong with Courtney? Uh-oh-

(it starts to rain heavily)

Beth plays with ants but the rain makes them panic (while killing some of them as a side effect)

Beth: EVERYONE PANIC AND RUN FOR A SHELTERED AREA!

(The kids panic)

Alejandro: Let’s try this treehouse. It should be safe

Lightning: Yeah, that should keep us safe in the storm

Courtney: RUN INDOORS INSTEAD

Alejandro: You know what, that seems like a better idea

Lightning: Oh well, best follow Courtney. She knows what’s best.

(they take the slide and run to the daycare)

Lightning: That was quick.

Alejandro: Now what are we going to do?

Priya: I don’t know, maybe ventriloquy?

Beth: Oh no, this is NOT happening again!

Priya: It won’t hurt that bad… at least Chef isn’t doing it

Beth: There was a puppet… but it got destroyed in the woodchipper

Leshawna: Yup, hardly anything to d-

Scott: What do you call a store with absolutely NOTHING in it?

Alejandro: Uhh, this isn’t th-

Scott: A BORE! (laughs hard)

Alejandro: That was honestly, quite insulting- (laughs a bit). Did you see that? No vi eso?… [says the F word in Spanish, censored]

Alejandro: Why are cameras so- HARD TO OPEN? Just give me the tape, ok?… OPEN UP, por favor-

Scott: Anyways, it’s raining… there’s gotta be something to do indoors… I know, why don’t we use… these special chips I found in the basement?

Beth: How did you get these- I mean, what are they?

Sierra: I’ll explain, they have top secret information, including launch codes. There is a secret basement where you can access them, you just need to-

Mike: Dig down? Uh, sure. Got any hats, anyone?

Cody: I got this cool adventure hat from Chef’s car!

Lightning: How did y-

Chef Hatchet: MY CAR!

Sugar: Yup, that car’s a goner

Scott: Sugar, where have you been for like, half the episode?

Lightning: oh. How does a fedor-

?: G’day mates, name’s Manitoba Smit-

Scott: Secret spy basement. That has access to secret information.

Courtney: Wow. Rude. Can you at least STOP I-

Duncan: And there goes the delusional actor guy

Harold: He has multiple personalities, to be exact

Duncan:… HOW DOES SOMEONE HAVE MORE THAN ONE PERSONALITY

Alejandro: Follow us, mi amigos. There are secrets to unfold this way

Courtney: Like what secrets?

Alejandro: I don’t know, nuclear launch codes and conspiracy theories?

Courtney: These aren’t even supposed to be revealed to us four year olds

Beth: Oh crud.

Beth: Just a little reminder for those that didn’t watch that episode, I’m a secret agent for the government. Wait, why did I tell you this?

(Beth attacks the camera)

Beth: OPEN UP CAMERA AND GIVE ME THE TAPE!

Sierra: How many times do I have to say this, we no longer put videos on tape. It’s 2024, not 2008.

Beth: (screams in despair and anger)

(The kids enter the secret base through the tunnel)

Alejandro: There we go. Mike, can you help us put those chips into whatever those holes are

(Manitoba Smith takes a gasp)

Mike: Sure! Oh boy, they would all love to hear this… except Chester. He’s not the type for top-secret information

Beth: NO DON’T DO I-

Sugar: Cows are horses in disguise? Then how do we even get this milk?

Scott: Yup, that’s definitely fake.

Duncan: The launch code for the nukes is 4-1-5-8? Ohhohohohoh, this is good! (presses the launch code)

Sierra: NO DUNCAN DON’T

(Duncan launches a nuke)

Lightning: YOU [censored]

Courtney: How many times, do we have to hear that irritating bleep noise?

Priya: I don’t know, like a hundred times this season?

Alejandro: It’s called growing up and using advanced vocabulary. Get used to it

Courtney: Vulgarities don’t amount to being sophisticated… What, you got… (reads a dictionary) flabbergasted and (flips it harder) getting the… (flips it ridiculously hard) collywobbles?

Cody: My brain is about to explode. AAAAAH!

Sierra: What did you do to MY CODY?

Courtney: What, I didn’t know complicated words would make his brain go haywire. I’m sorry

Sierra: It’s ok, but I’ll take that and read some words. (flips it upside down) su-pine. noun. definintion 1, lying flat on one’s back with one’s face upwards; lie supine. definition 2, degratory, ohohohoh this is good, (goes back to reading) not acting as one should because one is lazy. dang it. (flips backwards) ex-eunt… they leave the stage.

Lightning (meanwhile): How does she read upside down?

Cody (meanwhile): The better question to ask is how are we going to stop this nuke without these two?

Scott (meanwhile): I’ve came up with a plan to stop us from going kaboom. But it’ll need the two to cooperate.

Sugar (meanwhile): Finally. A plan that is as practical as using a tractor to spray a field of-

Courtney (meanwhile): Why is she reading it upside down? This is a crime! AAAAAAAAA

Sierra: That’ll teach you NOT to hurt Cody next time. I didn’t expect you to be this mean to Cody

Courtney: Fine- I didn’t mean to hurt Cody’s feelings like this

Sierra: Well you did and I don’t like th-

Scott: WILL YOU TWO STOP ARGUING FOR ONCE. WE’RE ALL ABOUT TO DIE UNLESS YOU GUYS LISTEN TO ME

Mike: why do you have to shout like that

Scott: Those two girls are arguing

Alejandro: Just tell us what to do, we’ve got no other choice

Scott: So, Courtney and Sierra go out of the daycare in the rain, with raincoats on, obviously, and place as many of these Sundae Fondue Coupon dupes as possible

Beth: Hey, where did you get these? (pulls the cow)

Cow: Double Oh-Beth, your cover is blown… but I don’t blame you. Scott is one crafty kid. But-

(Beth pulls the cow again)

Cow: Chef doesn’t know a single thing.

Scott: There are supposed to be trackers that would divert the nuke, and then Priya, you place the tracker at the top of this awkward looking volcano in this deserted island, run to the bottom and dive into the water. Alejandro and Noah, hack into the system and divert traffic away as much as you can to make the runway clear for Courtney and Sierra to drive through. Cody, just look out for the nuke.

Sierra: You. assign. MY CODY out of everyone to look out for the nuke? Are you crazy?

Scott: Relax, he’s going to be fine with you guys.

Sierra: Phew, I was so close into giving you a knuckle sandwich

Scott: Thank god… Lightning, if everything fails, you launch a mini nuke to counter it. It will get a bit of fallout, but trust me, the code Duncan uses only brings out the tiny, pathetic ones. You get this cool rocket launcher as well, and a go-kart to chase the nuke in case it’s about to blow up a building in the downtown area.

Lightning: Time for Lightning to be a hero again! Wait… where’s the nuke? There is nothing in the sky except dark clouds.

Scott: (slaps his face) There is a map and a timer on when the nuke would arrive. I’m not sure how the army does not know that this guy sent a nuke flying right for us!

Alejandro: Ooh, look at this cool jetpack… Wonder what I can use it for

Beth: DON’T IT’S

Alejandro: Dangerous… who cares, that’s my midd-

Beth: Give it back

Alejandro: Want some chocolate milk in exchange for that?

Beth: No. I-

Alejandro: Ten cartons of chocolate milk, topped with a golden star?

Beth: Deal.

Courtney: Beth, can I get the golden star

Beth: No.

Owen: Can I have a car-

Beth: No.

Scott: We’ll keep you guys updated on the nuke situation with these bad boys

Harold: How did you get these walkie talkies?

Scott: I have my ways.

Duncan: How does he get away with it-

Scott: Less talking, more doing something, it’s life and death. But first, we need some code names… because that’s what everybody does in these movies or shows… Cameraman, can you cut the footage out… we want to keep the codenames a… guessing game for the viewers. heheheheheh

Courtney: I hate to say this… but we have to follow Scott. He’s new to this school, I know, but he’s our only hope in saving our own butts

Sierra: I can place the trackers, I’m literally the expert in hide and seek… not as good as Cody. He’s an expert at it

Courtney: Let’s go, Sierra. Cody and Priya, tag along

Cody: Yay!

Camera cuts to the city. Courtney drives a car, with Sierra holding the fake coupons and Cody on the lookout.

Courtney (to walkie-talkie): Gold Sticker to Four Eyes. If they know when the nuke would arrive, then why is Cody the lookout?

Harold (from walkie-talkie): Over, I actually do not know… ask Scott

Scott (from walkie-talkie): Schemer to Gold Sticker, you won’t know when the nuke arrives until you see it. Plus, it’s ten minutes away, you already have a head start.

(Sierra places the coupons pretty fast)

Camera cuts to a military base

Soldier 1 (off-camera): Why is there a nuke… headed for a daycare?

Soldier 2 (off-camera): Yup, they’re doomed

Camera cuts back to the office

Alejandro: This is fun, messing around with the traffic lights.

Noah: Feels good to annoy some random adults while saving our own butts from that… nuke Duncan sent at us

Duncan (from vent): Hey guys, wanna cause a car crash? Just make the traffic lights in a junction all green!

Noah: How did you get there

Duncan (from vent): I have my ways

Alejandro: That definitely is a bad idea.

Noah: But it wouldn’t hurt what would happen… You know what, that would be a complete disaster

Alejandro: Agree- Duncan, no.

Owen (from walkie-talkie): Hey Al, what is Duncan doing there?

Alejandro (to walkie-talkie): I don’t know… wait how do you know

Owen (from walkie-talkie): Turns out, there’s this cool camera system where you can see everything in this daycare

Noah (to walkie-talkie): that has always existed. Anyways, any updates

Owen (from walkie-talkie): I don’t know, it’s getting closer… 5 minutes on the clock

Alejandro (to walkie-talkie): Oh jeez, Spaniard to Gold Sticker, we’ve got five minutes on the clock before we all say goodbye. Some green lights coming your way.

Courtney (from walkie-talkie): We’re getting close to the island. But… we need a boat

The camera cuts to Courtney and Sierra.

Sierra: Why not we go down to the sewers, there has to be some boats

Courtney: uhh sure.

Sierra: There should be a friendly guy inside

(Courtney, Sierra and Cody go down into the sewers)

Sierra: we need to rent a speedboat, stat

Sewer Mike: Uhh, sure. Just be sure to return them by the end of the d- And there they go. Dad, my business is still booming!

Sewer Mike: I like that girl, she visits a few times. The downside is that she talks too much about Cody.

Alejandro: It seems that Courtney, Cody, Priya and Sierra are in the waters…

Noah: The plan is working!

Leshawna (from walkie-talkie): Drama Queen to Red Vest. We’ve got THREE MINUTES LEFT!

Noah: Uh-oh

Duncan (to walkie-talkie): Delinquent to Gold Sticker. We’ve got three minutes, better pick up the pace

Lightning (from walkie-talkie): Lightning to Red Vest. I see the nuke, do I go yet?

Noah (to walkie-talkie): Uhh, sure

Lightning (from walkie-talkie): sha-BAM, baby! Lightning’s on the move!

Duncan: (stares at the viewer) that’s new.

Mike (from walkie-talkie): MPD to Red Vest, what’s "new" with Lightning?

Alejandro: This is getting a bit concerning… I have to go now, so long, mi amigos. I’ve got someone to save

(Alejandro uses the jetpack to fly out of the building, and into Chef’s car’s remains)

Chef Hatchet: NOT MY CAR AGAIN!

(he flies off)

Chef Hatchet: Why is it always my car… and what’s that thing?

Cuts to the island

Courtney: We’ve arrived! Priya, get this coupon and race to the top as fast as you can

Scott (from walkie-talkie): Schemer to Gold Sticker, the "coupons" work… Lightning’s on the way to intercept it in case it didn’t work.

Sierra: Is this a new episode… or are we straying away from the original focus on the episode…?

Mike (from walkie-talkie): MPD to Cody Superfan, yup, we’ve strayed away. But hey, at least most of our strong suits are revealed, two of my alters, Sierra’s obsession with Cody, Alejandro and Priya’s thrill for an adventure and Scott’s… scheming.

Sierra (to walkie-talkie): Yup, and now we got to use it to our best advantage.

Cody: Priya’s at the top… and that funny rocket thing is about to arrive.

Courtney (to walkie-talkie): GOLD STICKER TO SCHEMER! PRIYA’S PROBABLY NOT GOING TO MAKE IT

Cody: There’s another funny rocket thing

Courtney: Could it be?

Leshawna (from walkie-talkie): It could be Alejandro, he took a jetpack from the basement…

Priya (from afar): I DON’T-

(the camera cuts to Priya)

Priya: -THINK I CAN-

Alejandro: I got ya- (swoops in and saves Priya in time)

Priya: Thank you so much, Alejandro, I could’ve been cooked.

Alejandro (to walkie-talkie): Spaniard to Drama Queen, Priya’s safe.

Cuts to basement

Leshawna: YES! There we go!

Alejandro (from walkie-talkie): Bad news, the nuke is after… the girls? The coupon didn’t work?

Cuts to the island

Courtney (in car, from afar): RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

Alejandro (from walkie-talkie): Run seems like a poor choice of words… but WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT

Leshawna (from walkie-talkie): Lightning’s got it

Lightning (from walkie-talkie): Lightning’s got it locked in…

(Camera cuts to Lightning. He aims for the nuke with his rocket launcher… aims and successfully destroys it)

Lightning (to walkie-talkie): Lightning to Drama Queen. Threat neutralised

(everyone celebrates for joy)

Camera pans back to the classroom. The kids are tired, it’s 3pm, pickup time.

Chef Hatchet: Kids! It’s pickup time! Time to go h-

Duncan: We had a wild ride today. And I got this cool landmine dispenser. (presses it)

Beth: DUNCAN NO-

(the daycare explodes)

Chef Hatchet: NOT THE DAYCARE

Sierra: Yup, time to see the magic behind this daycare’s explosion problems.

Chapter Text

The kids are playing in the classroom… as usual. Harold and Izzy are playing with Lego on the carpet.

Harold: So who do you think is the sixth new kid joining us?

Izzy:…Wait, there’s new kids on the block?

Sierra: Yup. Hi Izzy! Name’s Sierra, and I’m Total DramaRama’s BIGGEST FAN.

Izzy: Am I your favourite character? Tell me. TELL ME!

Sierra: It’s Cody.

Izzy: (laughs hard)

Sierra: Cody’s my type and NO GIRL SHALL HAVE CODY BUT ME.

Izzy: what-

An angelic singing can be heard. It is beautiful, with a sinister undertone. Most of the kids are thrilled by the singing. Alejandro, Harold and Lightning… aren’t so enthusiastic about the singing.

Lightning: Gwen! Get us into your eggchair.

Harold: She’s here.

(Gwen opens the eggchair)

Gwen: No. And it isn’t Ella.

Sugar: Beautiful singing means one thing. Ella. She’s annoying.

Gwen: No one says bad things about MY COUSIN LIKE THAT

(Gwen angrily closes the eggchair shut)

Lightning: Yup, we’re screwed

Alejandro: Oh god, they won’t be having such a great time today… But she’s so beautiful.

(Priya glares at Alejandro)

Alejandro: what? We’re four year olds, we’re too young to have a date

Cheft Hatchet: KIDS, we’ve got a new student!

Courtney: Wait, why didn’t you say it’s a surp- Oh my god. She’s beautiful

Beth: She’s so sweet

Duncan: Pfft, she’s just a new student. Not some paegent queen like Sugar.

Heather: My name is Heather! I love all things sweet, like cupcakes, unicorns and sunshine and rainbows~!

Alejandro (to Harold): That is a total lie.

Chef Hatchet: Be nice to our new girl and make her feel welcome. I’ll be in my office… working.

(Chef Hatchet leaves the room)

Heather (screaming): EVERYBODY, MEETING IN THE CASTLE

Courtney: Hey, that’s supposed to be my lin-

(Heather pushes Courtney into the castle)

(Gwen opens her eggchair)

Gwen: She’s trouble. She even likes disgusting things

Heather: Oh, creepy girl! Get in the castle. NOW!

Gwen: Whatever. This better be worth my time.

Camera cuts to the interior of the castle

Heather: You heard Chef, be very nice to me.

Duncan: Yeah, yeah and I-

Heather: So I made some rules so that you guys will be nice little ser- I mean angles to me

Courtney: Oooh I love ru- wait… something is kinda… fishy about her

Beth: Why are there mostly girls here?

Jude: Dudette’s kinda creeping me out a bit

Heather: You must do as I say, and not touch my stuff. I, on the other hand, can use your stuff anytime I want.

Leshawna: Hey, you aren’t the queen here! I am.

Sugar: Uhm, that is a total bogey. Not even a pig rolling on mud would believe that.

Scott: Yeah, no one would barge into a daycare and proclaim themselves as ruler of it.

Heather: GIVE ME A TIARA! NOW!

(no one moves)

Heather: If no one is going to give it to me, I’ll have to take it myself.

(Heather exits the room and gets the tiara pieces)

Heather: WHAT? IT’S SPLIT IN TWO? CODY, GIVE ME THE GLUE!

Noah: This girl really is the queen of mean

Heather: (fake cries) CHEF, NOAH CALLED ME A MEAN GIRL

Chef Hatchet: What did you do, Noah? Be nice to our NEW GIRL. She’s sweet and isn’t mean like you think she is

Noah: She is literally orderi-

Chef Hatchet: TIME OUT! 20 MINUTES! (snatches Noah away)

Owen: oh boy this isn’t good…

Heather: See that? You little chumps will get time outs if you disobey my orders. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be taking all your art supplies.

Sugar: This isn’t good

Heather: And there you go, a new tiara, just. for. ME! Leshawna, do my nails

Leshawna: Whatever.

Leshawna: I’m going to give her the worst nails ever.

Cuts to the dining table

Leshawna: Hi, queen. I’ve got some nail things for you. Now-

Heather: Kneel down and do my nails.

Leshawna: Alright (evil smirk)

(time skip)

Leshawna: And there you have it, your nails are done.

Heather: (screams out loud) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY NAILS? CHEF! LESHAWNA MADE ME LOOK UGLY

Chef Hatchet: Leshawna’s trying your best to

(Heather uses baby-doll eyes)

Chef Hatchet: Fine. Leshawna. 10 minute timeout!

Leshawna: Ugh-

Cuts to the toilet

Heather: NO! I’ve ran out of toilet paper! Jude! Give me toilet paper.

Jude, outside the toilet: B-b-b-b-but I don’t have any toilet paper?

Heather: SLIDE ME YOUR SHIRT THEN!

Jude: Fine. (takes off his shirt and slides it under the door)

Jude: Time to get my backup clothes then.

Cuts to the playground

Heather: DUNCAN! Make my 4x4 look awesome!

Duncan: Fine. (spray paints it)

Heather: Make it, like, suitable for a queen.

Duncan: How many times do I have to do this (spray paints it again)

Heather: Perfect. Now, give me a juice box.

Duncan: Fine, but that’s my last one. (gives Heather the juice box)

Heather: It’s EMPTY! (cries) CHEF, DUNCAN IS BULLYING ME!

Chef: Duncan, no bullying Heather. Time out, 15 minutes.

Duncan: UGH, that prank didn’t work

Cuts to the treehouse

Duncan: Scott, what are we going to do about Heather

Leshawna: This madness better stop! She’s just so… mean

Scott: I don’t know. Got no ideas in my head to stop a crazy woman.

Alejandro: I think I got it… I think I can… trick Heather into giving you guys stuff… and then once she’s vulnerable, we get our revenge!

Priya: Uhh, you sure? Heather’s going to put as all in a two week timeout for hurting her.

Alejandro: At least this madness of being under Heather’s bossiness will stop.

Courtney: Rules are rules, unless they BENEFIT someone instead of being for our own wellbeing!

Lightning: So, what are we going to do about it? Heather’s unstoppable.

Alejandro: Watch and learn.

(Alejandro slides down)

Cuts to the swings

Alejandro: Hey, Heather…

Heather: Yes, my pookie bear

Duncan: (laughs hysterically) You see that? New girl called Alejandro “pookie bear”!

Alejandro: Love works in mysterious ways… I can be treated like a king… or I can help my friends end her reign…

Alejandro: So, may I have two cartons of… chocolate milk, and a burrito, my highness?

Heather: Sure. CODY!

Cody: I’m a waitress!

Heather: Give my man two cartons of chocolate milk and a burrito. Stat.

Cody: Ok! (runs and gets the food)

Alejandro: Thanks (runs to the treehouse)

Courtney: How did you?

Scott: Ah yes, Cupid is feeling a bit cheeky… pitting a mean bossypants with a lati-

(Alejandro glares at Scott)

Scott: uhh… why is 6 afraid of 7?

Courtney: bEc-

Scott: It’s impossible! Numbers are too abstract to have feelings.

Lightning: …sha-what? I don’t understand a single thing you said.

Courtney: It’s his amazing sense of humour

Scott: Just because I’m four year old, does not mean I can sense sarcasm. I watched episode 1. But I forgive her for it. She isn’t ready for my other killer jokes.

Alejandro: Priya, want some chocolate milk? I got it from Heather.

Priya: Sure… (drinks the milk)

Scott: Courtney

Courtney: what

Scott: knock knock

Courtney: who’s here?

Scott: You know?

Courtney: ugh, You know who-?

Scott: Avada Kedavra

(Priya laughs with milk in her mouth)

(Courtney smiles)

Scott: If she actually choked on the milk, man that would make my jokes killer.

(Courtney laughs hysterically)

Courtney: Where did he learn these jokes?

Priya: (gulps the milk down) I better get prepared in case he cracks another one. His jokes are getting… good!

Scott: But seriously, Alejandro kinda gives me an idea!

Lightning: Tell us!

Scott: So, Alejandro distracts her and leads her to a vulnerable place… and we strike.

Courtney: with what?

Scott: (takes some balloons out) Water balloons! AHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Courtney: Let’s take back our daycare!

Alejandro: you sure…

Scott: Just do it, Al. She won’t get hurt

Gwen: They’re plotting a revenge plot… I love revenge. I’m in.

Alejandro: I know, mi amor has hurt my friends, but aren’t they going too far?

Beth: Hi Alejandro! I turned up late… because of a traffic jam. Heard the new girl is a bit of a jerk.

Alejandro: Speaking of which, where did Sierra go?

Beth: I don’t know, maybe a four hour time out because she defended Cody?

Sierra (from afar): IS MY TIME OUT OVER? I STILL WANT MY CODYyyyy…

Alejandro: Apparently, there’s a few minutes left on the clock

Sierra (from afar): YAY!

Scott: Stick to the plan, Al.

Alejandro:… I don’t know if he’s doing it to offend me but fine.

Alejandro walks to a cubby hole.

Heather: oh, Alejand- why are they here?

Duncan: We’re here to take back our daycare!

Heather: huh? Oh CHEF!

Scott: It worked much faster than I thought- I mean, Chef is enjoying some "me time" in his office.

Heather: Oh dear, what do you want from me?

Duncan: We’re here to take our daycare back!

Courtney: With these

Heather: Not the water balloons! Someone help me! Al- where did you go

Alejandro (from vent): I DON’T KNOW WHY I AM PULLED AWAY I THO-

Scott: Looks like there’s no one left to help you.

(Muffled Chef Hatchet noises)

Alejandro: Scott didn’t tell me about being pulled up in the vents. Wait… how did that happen, yet I’m sitting on the frogchair? WHAT IS GOING ON? …you did not se-

Courtney: Can you please not reuse running gags?

Alejandro: No. Wait don’t cut the confes-

(Courtney covers the screen with a fake Technical Difficulties screen)

(Heather gets bombarded by water balloons)

Heather: PLEASE STOP. I’ll stop being mean to you guys. You win. (about to burst into tears)

Duncan: ohohohohoho, this isn’t over until WE SAY IT’S OVER (spray paints her face)

Heather: AAAAA NOT MY FACE. AND MY HAIR!

Leshawna: And that tiara belongs to me.

Sugar: NO IT BELONGS TO ME!

Harold (from afar): Uhh what is going on

Sierra (from afar): Heather’s going down. We’re FREE!

Cody (from afar): I’m sucking my thumb!

(crow noises)

Heather: I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE

Scott: Well, we’ve got more coming! E-

Beth: STOP!

Scott: What?

Beth: I know, Heather’s been very mean to you the whole day but this needs to stop. Bullying Heather back will only make things worse. Think about it.

Lightning: You’re right… being a hero does not mean we should get revenge. It’s about making things right.

Duncan: You were staring into blank space horrified by our actions.

Scott: I’m listening… But that would not convince me.

Beth: Heather could be a great friend to play with! I just know it!

Heather: I’m sorry. I just wanted to feel welcome and… after all the bad things I did, you want to be friends with me?

Beth: Yes. Because we deserve a second chance. And she can participate in all your cool adventures, and mischief if you’d like

Scott: You got me there with "mischief". Eh, I think we had enough. I’m sorry for hurting you. Let’s get you cleaned up

Heather:… how did you do all this?

Beth: I don’t know, I’m pretty convincing. Anyways after you’re all refreshed and clean, wanna play a game?

Heather: Sure. Just tag (reads a Spanish dictionary)… mi novio, into the game. And we’re all set

Beth: Sure… I wonder where he is?

Cuts to the vents

Alejandro: Gwen, we can talk about this just let me go.

Gwen: Heather should be fine, you can go. But your screams of you meeting my friends really puts warmth in my heart. Wanna meet more of them?

Cuts to the exterior of the daycare

(Alejandro screams in horror)

Chapter Text

Chef works in his office.

Heather: oh CHEF!

Chef Hatchet: Yes Heather?

Heather: It’s Pizza day! What kinds of pizza are you ordering for us?

Chef Hatchet: I managed to get a coupon for one type of pizza. Oh boy, this is good!

Heather: I have a bad feeling about asking Chef about the kinds of pizza. Or kind, in this case

Heather walks into the room

Heather: GUYS! We’re getting pizza for lunch today!

(Everyone cheers)

Heather: But only one flavour. I’m thinking Hawaiian.

Leshawna: (pfft) THAT? Ew. Nobody likes pineapple on pizza!

Cody: I DO-

Leshawna: (pushes Cody aside) nobody ask-

Sierra: (chokes Leshawna hard) NOBODY HURTS MY CODY OR TALKS BAD ABOUT PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA! (lets Leshawna go) Now, Leshawna, what pizza would you… like?

Leshawna: Meat Lovers!

(Courtney walks to the class with a chart clearly biased towards cheese pizza)

Courtney (through a megaphone): Cheese pizza is the best! Raise your hand if you agree.

Duncan: (plays Crow noises through his phone)

Courtney: AW COME ON! Nobody wants the superior chesse pizza? It’s simple and-

Heather: Too… basic. It’s boring.

Everyone except Courtney: Yeah we agree.

Owen: I want some of that margarita, baby!

Mike: I’m thinking-

Duncan: Why should we argue about pizza fla- whatever that it’s called, when we can all mix and match?! I say we buy the Problematic Chaos pizza! now available for a limited time.

(Mike takes a deep gasp)

?: I’m Svetlana, professional gymanst and Queen of the Olympics. And also if you’re asking about my choice of flavour, it’s vegeterian.

Leshawna: VEGETERIAN? THAT’S WORSE THAN CHEESE PIZZA

(Courtney glares at Leshawna)

Leshawna: What? I was only saying facts.

Duncan: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHA he’s- (continues to laugh hysterically)

Scott: So, chumps, what are you discussing?

Courtney: Pizza flavours.

Scott: Huh, no wonder everyone’s so tensed up. Look at all these arguers.

Sugar: Yeah! And pizza is overrated.

(Everyone glares at Sugar. Svetlana takes a big gasp)

Chester: Ya darn kids done arguing with each other or not? I need a break from y-

Courtney: Mike, can you help me campaign for cheese pizza?

(Chester takes a deep gasp)

Mike: Cheese pizza? That’s pretty basic, not gonna lie.

(Courtney slaps her face)

Chef Hatchet: KIDS! We’re getting an X-LARGE PIZZA for FREE! but only one flavour

Scott: We know. We’re discussing what pizza to bu- wait… X-LARGE? THE LARGEST PIZZA SIZE IN THE WORLD?

Courtney: Technically no-

Scott: Sold. commercially.

Courtney: Oh.

Scott: Anyways, I would love a meat lovers

Heather: HAWAIIAN!

Courtney: CHEESE!

Bridgette: Can we have vegeterian?

Duncan: Bridgette? How did you get here?

Alejandro: We were busy on our phones on the dining table. What’s with all the fuss?

Lightning: Exactly. I was busy watchin- (overhears the convo)

Bridgette (directly to Alejandro): Pizza day.

Alejandro: PIZZA? That’s the delicacy of the gods… One pepperoni pizza, please.

(everyone argues. Gwen opens her eggchair)

Gwen: I’ve got one. Squid ink. Topped with chicken feet and red wine to make it look like blood.

(everyone continues to argue)

Chef Hatchet: KIDS! Settle on one flavour or no one gets pizza.

Scott: I have an idea. We all play a game of Truth or Dare and the winner gets to choose the pizza flavour.

Courtney: But, isn’t that against the rules?

Chef Hatchet: I can bend the rules for that, better than arguing non-stop. The losers gets time out until a winner is decided. And LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

(everyone glares at Scott)

Scott: What? I was just suggesting.

Chef Hatchet: And since you gave me the idea, Scott, you nominate a person first.

Scott: Sugar, truth or dare?

Sugar: He better not screw me harder than that one annoying pin in the haybale.

Sugar:… truth.

Scott: Did you… redirect power to your television to have better reception last night?

(Sugar sweats a lot, giving out a lot of suspense)

Sugar: I…I…I…I did.

Scott: Heh, knew it.

Courtney: They are a lot tougher at Truth or Dare than I initially thought. But I WILL WIN! I was crowned champion of Truth or Dare last year. Soon they will all bow down t-

(Duncan hits Courtney with a spitball)

Courtney: DUNCAN!

Lightning: So, Cody, what pizza flavour would you like?

Cody: Hawaiian!

Lightning: I’ll choose… whatever you choose

Sierra: Me too!

Chef Hatchet: And once you complete the Truth or Dare, you pass it on to another kid. Now, Sugar, ask anyone Truth or Dare, except Scott.

Sugar: Fine. Courtney, Truth or Dare?

Courtney:… Dare.

Sugar: I dare you, to wrangle all these little cows back into the fence outside.

Courtney: How did you get cows here?

Sugar: Not those boring cows? Karate Cows. These cows can mess any city girl up before one can say "baloney sandwich".

Courtney: Alright, I accept.

Sugar: WHAT?

Courtney: I am the best Truth or Dare player in. the. nation. I’m gonna watch you guys crumble while I take the victory for CHEESE PIZZA!

Sugar: I better not let raisin cookies win. Cheese pizza. is the worst pizza.

(Courtney wrangles the cows with ease)

Owen: That was pretty cool, Courtney

Courtney: (smirks) Thanks Owen. Now, truth or dare?

Owen:… uh

Chef Hatchet: I almost forgot! Sugar, and Courtney, you get a carton of chocolate milk. You can drink it…

(Sugar drinks it)

Chef Hatchet: …or you can pass it back to me to exempt yourself from a truth or dare… like an ostrich… burying its head in the sand!

Sugar: AW COME ON!

Owen:… I pick dare!

Courtney: Eat Duncan’s leftover vegetables in the trash!

Owen: Fine. (eats the vegetables with reluctance. Surprisingly, he ate all of them)

Courtney: Ew…

(Owen gets a carton of chocolate milk)

Owen: Gwen!

Gwen: what.

Owen: Truth or dare?

Gwen: Dare.

Owen: Cuddle. with. this. many. dolls for 30 seconds straight!

Gwen: How did you-

Owen: Do it? Or are you… chicken?

(Chef Hatchet walks out with chicken hats)

Lightning: Lightning is definitely not wearing that.

Chef Hatchet: Losers have to stay in timeout… with these.

Gwen: ugh, fine. Don’t look.

(Gwen cuddles with the pile of dolls)

Alejandro: This is getting goooood (takes a picture)

Sierra: (takes a picture) Yup. That’s going on my "Gwen’s Secretly Not A Goth" blog.

Gwen: I’m doing this because of OWEN!

Owen: And time’s up.

(Gwen gets a carton of milk)

Gwen: Sierra, because of your stupid blog… Truth or Dare?

Sierra: Dare.

Gwen: I dare you to watch. the. music video. of "Taste".

Sierra: By who?

Gwen:… Sabrina Carpenter

Sierra: oooh Sabrina Carpenter. It should be fine.

(everyone crowds at the TV)

Sabrina (from the TV): Rock-a-bye baby, snug in your bed… Right now you are sleeping, and soon you’ll be… dead

(the kids cringe in fear)

(Sabrina starts singing)

Duncan: This song is catchy…

(Sabrina enters the mansion with a machete)

Duncan: wait what is she doing?

(Sabrina kills Jenna with the machete, only to find out it’s a decoy. Jenna appears with a shotgun)

Courtney: JESUS CHRIST! This is messed u- wait what…

Scott: The other girl’s got a shotgun!

Duncan: ohohohoho this is getting GOOD!

Mike: Uhh… why are we watching this?

Lightning: Who cares, at least it should be kid-

(Jenna shoots Sabrina in the chest. Graphic and violent content gets showed off-screen. The kids get horrified.)

Lighting: That sha-took a dark twist of events…

Alejandro: WHO’S IDEA IS THIS?

Bridgette: GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

Leshawna: STOP THE VIDEO PLEASE (cries)

Heather: Where’s my mommyyyy (cries)

(Doctors try to remove the fence from Sabrina)

Duncan: My parents better write a disappointment song to Sabrina… (takes out a pacifier)

(The doctors put a hole through Sabrina’s body)

Duncan and Sierra: AAAAAAAAA (runs away).

Gwen: And that’s one down. That’s why I chose this. Scary stuff comes when you least expect it

Chef Hatchet: Sierra’s out. Get your chicken hat right here and walk to timeout!

Sierra: Fine…

Courtney: Do people even care about the age rating anymore? THIS IS IMPECCABLE.

Bridgette: Well… that’s going to give a whole lifetime of nightmares.

Courtney: uhh, let’s walk away from the TV…

Gwen: and now… Alejandro… Truth or dare?

Alejandro: uhh… Truth.

Gwen: What did you and Priya do last night?

(Gwen puts Harold’s lie detector on Alejandro)

Alejandro: How did you get that?

Gwen: Scott gave it to me. Because he thought it would be funny.

A flashback appears. Alejandro and Priya are driving the 4x4 outside the daycare

Alejandro: Gosh, it is fun driving a car under the influence of milk… Didn’t know it would make people this sleepy.

Priya: I wonder how we got into this… car…

Alejandro: OH GOD! 

Priya: wait… you’re about to hit a STOP SIGN?! SWERVE LEFT!

(Alejandro swerves left and accidentally hits a tree. Car beeping noises can be heard)

Flashback ends

Alejandro: uhh… ok fine. I crashed the daycare’s 4x4 onto a tree.

(the lie detector does nothing)

Gwen: Fine. You win.

(Alejandro gets handed a carton of chocolate milk)

Alejandro: Now it’s my turn… Bridgette? Truth or dare?

Bridgette: Uhh… dare.

Alejandro: Cancel. your. own. show

Bridgette: It already got cancelled after a few episodes, last year

Alejandro: WHAT? But… it’s impossible. They acknowledged it. [swears in Spanish, swears]

Chef Hatchet: Since Alejandro’s dare is invalid, he is OUT.

Alejandro: Fine. (takes the chicken hat and drinks the chocolate milk along his way to the timeout corner)

Bridgette: Courtney, truth or dare?

Courtney: Dare. and BRING IT ON!

Bridgette: Do a silly dance in front of the whole class. And it needs to be those dances from ClickClock

Courtney: WHYYYYY?

Bridgette: They’re the most funny

Courtney: Fine

(Courtney embarasses herself by botching a ClickClock dance. The class laughs)

Courtney: See that? I DID IT! Now hand me the chocolate milk.

(Chef Hatchet hands Courtney chocolate milk)

A montage of truth or dares appear to a cover of Coincidence by Sabrina Carpenter. The following lines play out in the following order:

Heather: Did you SOIL MY PANTS LAST NIGHT?

Duncan: Bawk like a chicken! AHAHHAHAHA

Chef Hatchet: Bridgette’s out!

Owen: Eat dog food!

Leshawna: Do you have a crush on Sierra?

Scott: Dive into the Gum Volcano with complete scuba diving gear

Courtney: Listen to ten minutes… of Lankybox music

(Sugar drinks a carton of chocolate milk)

Lightning: Kiss an image… of that alligator in the sewers

Duncan: Fine, whatever (takes a chicken hat)

Chef Hatchet: Whew! It’s been thirty minutes already. And oh god, only five are remaining. They are, Lightning, Owen, Mike, Courtney… and Scott. I wonder how Gwen got out of the game

Gwen: SCOTT ASKED ME ABOUT MY TOY POODLE. NO FAIR!

Chef Hatchet: boo hoo. Anyways, Owen, your turn.

Owen: Mike, truth or dare?

Mike: uhh… Dare.

Owen:… do 10 pull ups. With nothing but one arm.

Mike: Uhh… sure (takes off his shirt and takes a big gasp)

?: What did you say about 10 one-armed pull ups?

Cody (from timeout corner): oooh, bumpy

?: Also, one-armed pull ups are a piece of cake for me. Call me, Vito.

Owen: what

Duncan (from time out corner): I wonder what act he’s going to pull if I hit him in the head…

Scott: Hit. Him? IN THE HEAD? ARE YOU CRAZY? Do you know that that is asking for trouble? Literally?

Duncan (from time out corner): I CAN’T HEAR YOU SCOTT~!

(Vito does 9 one-armed pull ups with ease)

Courtney: Mike! Can you help me make a friendship bracelet?

(Vito takes a deep breath. Mike comes back, and falls off)

Owen: Uhh… that’s 9…

Chef Hatchet: and MIKE is OUT!

Scott: Wow, smart move there, raisin cookies… EVERYONE but Courtney! Team. Meeting.

Cuts to the castle

Scott: If we don’t win this, Courtney will win and we’ll get slices of bland cheese pizza.

Lightning: Lightning can win this thing… but Courtney’s been eliminating us here and there… Look at how Courtney did Mike sha-dirty…

Owen: Uhh… Courtney can hear us right…?

Scott: pfft, re-lax. Courtney can’t hear us from here.

Courtney: oh I can hear you guys form here and I WILL PUT UP A STRONG FIGHT! You three are going to drop like flies… into the TIME OUT CORNER.

Owen: Oh, Courtney~! Truth or dare?

Courtney: I pick… truth!

Owen: Why do you like cheese pizza a lot?

Scott (to Owen): That would make her crack and waste all her chocolate milk… Speaking of which, where’s yours?

Owen (to Scott): I drank all of them

(Scott slaps his face)

Courtney: uhm, Cheese pizza is simple and economically profitable. You don’t need lots of ingredients and you can make tons of cheese pizza for mad cheap. This reduces production costs and increases supply. This would in turn, reduce the price of the pizza. Should the price elasticity of demand for cheese pizza be elastic, that would result in a profit for pizza firms. Thus, cheese pizza is the superior pizza for consumption.

Owen: uhh… what?

Lightning: I did not understand a single word you said.

Scott: I kinda… understand what she says. However, that is from a producer’s point of view, NOT from yours.

Courtney: Well, did I ask for your input? You walking internal diseconomy of scale?

Chef Hatchet: Courtney did good enough. Here’s your chocolate milk~!

Courtney: YES! oh YOU ARE so GOING DOWN!

Scott: We’ve got the same amount of cartons as you do, Courtney.

Courtney: and soon… you’ll waste them as I torture you with tough questions and dares… one. by. one.

Owen: oh god NO!

Courtney: Now, Scott. Truth. Or. DARE?

Scott: Dare.

Courtney: I dare you… to DRINK all of your chocolate milk. Or are you, chicken?

Scott: CHEF! Free me! (hands a carton of chocolate milk back to Chef Hatchet)

Courtney: GAH! gotta up my game. Owen~! Truth or dare?

Owen: Truth.

Courtney: Did you cause Duncan to be late… because you ate his parents car?

Owen: OH GOD

(Courtney puts on a lie detector on Owen)

Owen: of course not…

(the lie detector beeps)

Owen: FINE. I did it. But their car looks so… delicious

Duncan (from afar, upset): It’s literally a banana! Try something else… like a CAR. MADE OF CAKE!

Chef Hatchet: Owen’s out!

Courtney: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Scott, truth or dare?

Scott:… TRUTH!

Courtney: Did you… cause another shortage of toilet paper last month? (puts the lie detector onto Scott)

Scott: OF COURSE NOT! I don’t use toilet paper like you guys do…

Sugar (from timeout corner): Oh dear god. That boy sure is unhygenic…

Courtney: WHAT? oh my god…

Scott: Now, Courtney…

Chef Hatchet: Now, now, Scott. You can’t do that. You have to give the truth or dare to Lightning now.

Scott: Fine. Lightning, truth or dare?

Lightning:…

Lightning: Ok, think strategically Lightning… Scott may put up an impossible dare that would kick him out of the competition and put me on the cockpit. And then sha-LIGHTNING wins against Courtney! Alright… dare it is.

Lightning: Dare.

Scott: Float on thin air…

Chef Hatchet: Scott, that’s impossible! TIME. OUT.

(Scott takes a chicken hat and smirks at Courtney on his way to the time out corner)

Lightning: Now, it’s Lightning’s turn. Truth… or sha-DARE?

Courtney: uhh… DARE!

Lightning: Lose a game of chess… to me.

Courtney: FINE!

Courtney: He doesn’t know, that I’m also a master at giveaway chess. Oh he’s going down for sure…

An intense chess battle between Lightning (black) and Courtney (white) begins.

1. e3 e5 2. Ba6 bxa6

The look on Lightning and Courtney’s faces gets more prominent as both sides try to lose.

Chef Hatchet: Alright… where’s the time skip?

Time skip occurs

Chef Hatchet: Alright… it’s getting late so better finish this game fast.

Sierra (from time out corner): Is it over now? We’ve been sitting there for like… five hours…

Duncan: pfft, We’ve sat there for two weeks straight.

Sierra: I know, also look at Paul. He’s spending his entire life here… oh. He’s dead now.

1. Kd5 Kd8 2. Kxd6

Courtney: YES! Now, Lightning, walk towards mee…

Chef Hatchet: Uhh actually it’s a tie. Who said it’s giveaway chess?

Courtney: WHAT?

Chef Hatchet: And since Lightning technically tied against Courtney… Lightning wins the game!

Lightning: YES!

Courtney: WHAT? This is unfair! He literally said lose a game of chess!

Lightning: Lightning did not say "giveaway chess". Lightning said, "chess".

Courtney: Fine.

Lightning: Also, can we buy Hawaiian? It’s not that bad

Chef Hatchet: uhh… ok then!

Cuts to the dining table

Scott: It’s not meat lovers but who cares? It’s not that bad.

Leshawna: Eh, it’s pretty mid actually.

Courtney: Oh, this is… kinda… ok?

Lightning: Shall we play again tomorrow?

Heather: Oh god no… I can’t risk an hour long timeout…

Cuts outside

Lightning: Come on, it will be fun!

(everyone groans with tiredness)

Chapter Text

Heather sits on the table in the daycare, with a few sheets of paper

Courtney: What are you doing?

Heather: Writing a comic book… about the Bad Guy Busters…

Izzy: Oooh this rings a bell. Tell me, what story have you planned?

Heather: I’m thinking of doing an original story… but I’m not sure what to do for one… I know! Why not I do the plot as I write the cover. Just gotta get my color pencils in the drawers…

Heather: I know, I’m a girl, but does not mean I can be fond of boy’s stuff. Now, where did I put the pencils…

Heather finds the art supplies and the pencils. A horrified look is drawn on Heather’s face.

Heather: No… It can’t be… (screams so loud the fish tank breaks. Richard Swimmins dies and gets flushed out of the tank

Owen: This ain’t good.

Beth: Uh oh… we better check on Heather.

Jude: Agreed, dudette.

(Owen, Beth and Jude run to Heather)

Beth: Heather, what happened?

Heather: Someone… BROKE THE PENCILS!

(that one OST that plays whenever something bad happens)

Heather: WHO COULD’VE DONE SUCH THING?

Duncan: Not me. Why would I do something as minor as breaking pencils. The only thinking I’m breaking is Chef’s car.

Scott (from outside): YES! Fastest timing in breaking the car!

Chef Hatchet (from outside): NOT MY CAR!

Scott (from outside): Also pencils are so boring to break. Whoever did this is just pathetic.

Chef Hatchet (from outside): Time out. 30 minutes.

(Chef Hatchet walks in carrying Scott to the timeout corner)

Jude: Dudes, the news!

(everyone crowds around the TV)

Lightning: This happens almost every time in superhero TV shows… Are we playing heroes and finding the bad guy that broke the pencils? Lightning’s so in!

News reporter (from TV): It has appeared that a new supervillain has been breaking pencils here and there all over the whole nation! Not much is known about this shady figure but we know that he is a pathetic loser who clearly has no talent in doing bad stuff.

Scott (from timeout corner) and Duncan: Called it.

Owen: Oh no! We better stop this guy!

Beth: This is a job… for the BAD GUY BUSTERS!

Harold: Wait… What is going on?

Heather: Someone is breaking pencils nationwide for some… apparent reason.

Lightning: Can Lightning join in?

Beth:… uh sure?

(the Bad Guy Busters are introduced… for the third time ever)

(also from this point on, they would be referred to as their alter egos lols (if they are not, then they just appear as their regular selves usually do in the other episodes). also a quick reminder, watch S1E12: The Bad Guy Busters and S327: Trousering Inferno for their formal introductions. you can skip ahead if you want to… you might wanna watch them first or you can skip this episode and wait until episode 5 comes out)

Bee Girl: What’s taking Lightning so long?

Marshmallow Man: idk… I bet Harold and Lightning are inside the bathrooms

Cuts to the boys toilets

Lightning: Uhh… how do I design a super suit?

Harold: Easy. You just need… uhh does anyone here knows how to stitch fabric?

Lightning: idk… But clothing stores exist… or we can-

Harold: on it.

Cuts to the playground

Harold: I bet if we can do some modifications to this sweater knitting machine and use nylon instead, we can modify it to make one for you. Speaking of which, where is my giant fire extinguisher costume…

Lightning: But first… let me test out if my powers actually work

Harold: You sure these tiny hand buzzers I modified should make them e-

[Lightning gets hit by half a broken pencil and electrocutes Harold accidentally]

Harold: They should be… fine.

Lightning: What’s this…

Harold: A broken pencil! The villain must be nearby. You stay here and get… whatever you need to be a superhero ready. I’ll get my costume.

(spoof commercial break)

Tired of pencils being broken lately? Try the new Sturdot 1.0! They are hard to break… and easy to use whenever there is a pencil-breaking apocalypse. Get them today for $20.95! (name definitely not generated by AI)

Dude Boy: I don’t know, dude, but that commercial for "indestructable pencils" seems fishy to me…

Bee Girl: Chef, can we borrow your car for a quick second, we really need it.

Super Donkey: Yeah! We’ve got a villain to catch.

Chef Hatchet: Well… what are you guys talking about?

Heather: Someone broke my pencils and… I’m just tagging along. The pointy ones should work but I’m gonna have to save all the drawing for later. For now… I’ll take down notes of what I see… like a journalist!

Marshmallow Man: We’ve just gotta wait for Harold and Lightning to com-

Dude Boy: Dudes, they’re here!

Lightning: Harold, or should I say, the Sinister Extinguisher should be coming here soon…

Bee Girl: Lightning! You’re finally here! What superhero name did you come up with?

Marshmallow Man: What are your powers?

Lightning: uhh… I haven’t thought about a superhero name y-

[The Sinister Extinguisher extinguishes himself out of the daycare by accident, screaming]

Lightning: Anyways, Lightning’s got lightning powers no- and there goes the car

Bee Girl: AW CRUD!

Chef Hatchet: MY CAR!

Dude Boy: Guess we have to go on foot ag-

Heather: Guess what I found?

Marshmallow Man: THE 4x4? I thought Al and Priya destroyed it last week…

Noah: I repaired it. Turns out, the repair manual… was also in German.

Heather: Nobody asked about the manual, Noah

Noah: Niemand hat um deine Geburt gebeten, Heather

Heather:… what…?

Bee Girl: No time to lose! Everyone, into the 4x4. NOW!

Cuts to the city

Scott: Uhh… what are we doing here?

Courtney: Eh, I honestly don’t know.

Scott: Just a country boy and his city girl… driving downtown finding who broke the pen-

Duncan: (coughs) what did you say?

Bee Girl: We’re trying to find who broke the pencils but we’re not sure…

Scott: I’ve got a pla-

Courtney: Scott, this isn’t the time for one of-

Scott: This is a Sturdot pencil. Stop the car. I’ll drop this in this stationery shop that is somehow intact without broken pencils… and we come back 30 minutes later.

Dude Boy: You know, that commercial kinda gave raised eyebrows, ya know. So, that would narrow down the suspects by a significant lot.

Heather: If it really was Sturdot, they might be more cunning and actually break the pencil, showing that the villain is strong when in reality these pencils are annoyingly… USELESS and weak!

Lightning: Lightning’s right… I mean, Scott’s right. We should do a sha-stakeout… After the time skip, that is.

(insert time skip here)

Courtney: Oh, pencils, where are y-

Bee Girl: Huh, someone broke in and finally broke the pencils.

Dude Boy: And it seems that… the Sturdot pencil is missing! Where could it be?

Scott: Me and Courtney will stay behind and find the pencil. The rest of you, go find the villain. We’ll contact with each other through… these.

Chef Hatchet: THE WALKIE TALKIES?! I thought I confiscated them last year.

Scott: I have my ways, and I only have two… Plus how did you get into the car in the first place?

Chef Hatchet: I’m surprised I fit into this 4x4.

Courtney: And how we haven’t broke any laws regarding driving.

Duncan: I’ll stay behind too.

Scott: Fine…

Duncan: I’m starting to think Scott also has a crush on Courtney… YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT. THIS DOESN’T PROVE THAT I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON COURTNEY

Duncan: Give me the tape. JUST OPEN IT

Cameraman (off camera, of course): This isn’t 2008. Stop complaining about the lack of tape

Duncan: DANG IT.

The Bad Guy Busters continue driving, along with a few people they tagged along with. Heather gets hit by a broken pencil. A ton of them, near a pencil factory

Heather: What… the? Why am I getting hit by broken pencils?

Bee Girl: The factory is here!

Sinister Extinguisher: Time to put a stop to this madness. Chef Hatchet, stay here. This i-

Chef Hatchet: I’m going in anyways. Nobody breaks pencils in this daycare on my watch.

Lightning: Uhh… we’re not in the daycare.

Bee Girl: Ever notice how Heather… is missing?

Cuts to the shop

Courtney: Where is it… and how did they break all this pencils in such a short timespan?

Scott: Wait a minute… there is a box of Sturdot pencils, left untouched… on the floor… They actually work!

Courtney: Ya sure, (breaks a Sturdot pencil) cause they’re a total scam.

Scott: WHAT? They’re responsible for this the whole time? We better tell the rest about thi- …Duncan, where are you?

Duncan (watching through CCTV): Huh, he really does have a pencil like body… Something is a little off about the Sturdot pencils…

Cuts to the pencil factory. A possibly living pencil breaks pencils somehow coming out of a broken machine. Heather is tied to a conveyor belt, to some destroyer of some sort

Heather: This ain’t my fault this time! IDK WHY IM TIED HERE, REALLY? What do you think? They ran out of endings?

Bee Girl: Let go of Heather and the pencils now! Or y-

?: Hello there, "Bad Guy Busters"…

Bee Girl: Uhh… how did you know us?

?: I am the PENCIL BREAKER! I have been sick of not being used by a kid… ever since I was made. I grew jealous and had the desire to be used by someone… so why not take out the competition and break EVERY PENCIL IN THE WORLD!

Heather: LIE AND CRY ALL Y-

Pencil Breaker: Code 1. Shut this snitch up

(Heather gets tranquilised)

Marshmallow Man: TRANQUILISE A FOUR YEAR OLD? This is SO MESSED UP. MARSHMALLOW BLASTER TIME! (shoots out marshmallows from his mouth)

(Pencil Breaker dodges the marshmallow and eats one)

Pencil Breaker: Your attacks are just like a marshmallow… sweet… and PATHETIC.

Dude Boy: You’re jealousy… really needs to chill. Take… THIS

(Dude Boy uses a portable fan to launch pencils onto the Pencil Breaker, only for them to be deflected and broken with ease

Bee Girl: If none of them works, then it’s time for the STING! (throws a plunger at the Pencil Breaker, and it somehow works, only for it to be broken off successfully)

Pencil Breaker: You kids may be able to beat me… Just kidding. You’ll never defeat me! AHAHHA- (screams in pain as Lightning electrocutes him)

Lightning (to another walkie talkie not given by Scott): it’s go time

(The Sinister Extinguisher lets out some sort of a war cry that can only be achieved by four year olds, launches himself with the extinguisher costume and knocks out the Pencil Breaker)

Sinister Extinguisher: We’ve brought along walkie talkies to coordinate an attack… but something might feel off about

(a sinister laugh appears, not from the Pencil Breaker)

!: You might wanna tune in a few episodes later… hehehehehehehehhe

Sinister Extinguisher: This can’t be good…

Lightning: We did it!

(everyone cheers)

Chef Hatchet: I found this boomerang and a pair of handcuffs I found in the gift shop… Wait, you guys defeated the Pencil Break-

Scott: CHEF! It’s all a plan to monopolize the pencil economy! Sturdot hired a villain to break pencils to better advertise themselves as indestructable! It’s all an act!

Heather: WHAT?

(Bee Girl frees Heather before she gets hurt)

Heather: Thanks.

Cuts back to Chef Hatchet

Chef Hatchet: How did you guys get here…

Scott: The panels! Isn’t it obvious? They’re trying to break the pencils so only their pencils are in the market!

Courtney: It’s easy. Take out the competition and there’s no close substitutes. Thus their demand is so perfectly price inelastic they can shoot up their prices to ridiculous levels, and everyone will have to buy their cheap and horrible pencils!

Lightning: Well… that took a surprising twist of events

Chef Hatchet: 911, we’ve got a case of… dirty business practices going on

Time skip, cuts to inside the daycare

Heather: And with that… my comic book is done!

Harold: I wonder how you got the pencils…

Heather: It’s called the wonders of compensation. Ask Courtney, she was the prosecutor. Alongside Scott.

Flashback in court.

Courtney: We have evidence that Sturdot was behind the pencil breaking saga.

Scott: This is a Sturdot 1.0, advertised to be "iNdEsTrUcTaBlE". And if you see here (breaks the pencil into two, much to everyone’s shock), they’re a total. SCAM. They are horrible to write on (writes a short sentence and the lead breaks) and the writing (shows the paper) IS NOT OBVIOUS!

Flashback ends

Heather: I’m so glad all these events came along… and pieced the comic book together.

(Everyone cheers as the camera cuts to the daycare)

Chapter Text

The kids are in a bus. Everyone is tired… except Lightning.

Leshawna: Where are we going? This better be good-

Lightning: Lightning can smell the sweeeeeet, sweet victory that is another win.

Leshawna: Yup, we’re probably gonna do spor-

Courtney: Don’t get ahead of yourself. I came to win. And I’m not backing off without a fight.

Owen: What’s hockey, anyways?

Lightning: Allow me to explain. Hockey is a game where you use sticks to shoot a disc, known as a puck, into a goal. It’s a team sport, so coordination is crucial.

Courtney: Thank god we played some ball catch when Alejandro and Priya came along.

Scott: Did you forget… me, Courtney?

Courtney: Of course not

Mike: Hockey seems… fun.

Lightning: It’s on ice.

Mike: That ruined it a… lot.

Duncan: Scott said that hitting you in the head is a bad idea. Care to explain why?

Mike: I… you are wrong about me acting as different characters. Truth is, I have multiple personalities. Each have their own set of strengths and weaknesses. There is an evil personality that can only be awakened through a rare natural phenomenon… or hitting me in the head. This also deactivates my other personalities. No one can stand a chance against… the Malevolent One.

Duncan: (puts on some party music) ohhh, I’m so sCaReD.

(Mike takes a deep gasp)

Duncan: Did I upset him?

Chester: Ya darn kid better learn some personal space! Also this bus smells like fish. Chef, did you ever clean your school bus this often? That’s a violation of school code.

Courtney: Surprisingly, that really is a violation of the school code. I really like Chester.

Chester: You seem like a nice little girl, Courtney. Mike has been talking about how you somehow know how to get my immature friends out.

Courtney: You’re my favourite out of the rest, because you actually care. about the rules.

Chester: Aw, thanks. This really makes my day. I swear to myself, I will make sure everyone abides by the rules. Just frustrate Mike and I’ll come and help you. You really ma-

(Chester takes a big gasp)

Svetlana: Svetlana is here! Oooh this is cold, what are we doing today, figure skating? Svetlana is an expert in figure skating too.

Courtney: Hockey. It’s not like gymnastics.

Svetlana: That’s a shame… Anyways, I know just who to call (takes off her shirt and takes a big gasp)

Vito: Put your ha- Courtney… what are you doing here? Why are we on this dirty bus?

Courtney: We’re playing hockey! For the fi-

Vito: First time? Heh, I’m an expert in beating up weaklings. I’m sure that applies to hockey-

(Courtney puts a hat and a shirt onto Vito. Vito takes a large gasp)

Manitoba Smith: Feels good to be back, ain’t it right, mates? Right next to the real treasure I always dreamed of looking for, wink wink.

(Courtney blushes)

Courtney: I’ve been observing Mike lately and I just know the right conditions that can activate his other personalities. He also told me about… the Malevolent One during nap time, and how he appears during his nightmares, as well as how to activate him. I better not get him out into this world, cause, who knows what could happen? And if you’re wondering why I’ve been observing him, I just want to know how to activate his other personalities. He’s a wild card so it’s best if you know him more.

Duncan: This Mike guy is starting to freak me out a little more. Time to reset his brain by hitting him in the head-

Courtney: NO. This will make it worse.

Manitoba Smith: Thanks, my beauty. Who knows what the Malevolent One could do to everyone if Duncan really hurt him this badly…

Scott: Oh I’ll tell you. One time, before we came to this daycare, Mike and I are sort of… friends. One fateful day, Mike bumped his head so hard, that monster came out, or should I refer to him as, Mal? He wrecked everything and started making the were-hogs run amok, terrorising everything. But Mike came back. Mike wasn’t able to access his personalities for a while… and Mal comes out every now and then. It got fixed days later but the more you hit Mike’s head, the more stronger Mal gets. Additionally, Mal comes out during the blue moon, where he’d deactivate all the personalities and if you hit his head during the week that follows, oh you are in for a bad surprise.

Duncan: Welp, guess hitting him is out of the question.

Scott: That’s what I’d like to hear.

Chef Hatchet: KIDS! We’re here!

(Everyone runs out of the bus and into the hockey stadium)

Courtney: Oh my god, this is so… huge!

Lightning: This is much more impressive than on TV.

?: Hey there, you must be from the same daycare as your friends, am I right?

Lightning: Uhh… yeah. Who are you?

Bowie: Name’s Bowie. And you?

Lightning: My name, is Lightning. Lightning’s goal? To be the best… at everything!

Bowie: Nice, I’m also pretty competitive. I won a prom… for four year olds. And a barbershop quartet competition.

Lightning: That Bowie guy, is impressive. I like him

Bowie: Oh, I also come here often… to see my friends play hockey every now and then when I’m free. Would you like to see their instructor, I somehow know them… becaus-

Courtney: Let’s go!

(time skip)

Hockey Instructor: Hello kids! I’m Ms Norris, your hockey instructor for the day! Hockey is an amazing sport and it’s fun, you just need a hockey stick, a puck, some gear and 20 bucks to use the rink and you should be free to play all you want!

Chef Hatchet: I thought it’s called a ring?

Ms Norris: It’s a rink. r-i-n-k.

Chef Hatchet: WHAT?

Courtney: Uh, Ms Norris… can we start playing yet? Or practice?

Ms Norris: Sure… I guess. There are a lot of drills and warm-ups before you can start playing hockey.

Lightning: Lightning’s got this. Can we play now?

Ms Norris: Uhh…

Lightning: Lightning has played almost every sport known to man. American football, basketball, e-

Ms Norris: Eh, you’ll have to sit through the whole thing… again.

Lightning: Alright… At least I can spend a bit more time with my new pal, Bowie!

Bowie: uhh… thanks, Lightning.

Cody: Hi guys! I’m late.

Lightning: Bowie, this is Cody. My best friend.

Bowie: Hi Cody! I’m Bowie. Why not, sit beside us and watch them pla-

Ms Norris: He’s in it too. Now kids, I have to focus on getting the team ready for the next match, alongside the coach, so why not I get two members of my junior team to help you learn hockey.

Manitoba Smith: Heh, she’s beautiful.

Duncan: I thought you said Courtney was your treasure.

Manitoba Smith: I can explain…

Courtney: Mike, can you help me tie my shoe?

(Manitoba Smith takes a big gasp)

Mike: Uh, sure…

Mike: I only told Courtney about Mal… I wonder how she figured out how to trigger the rest of my personalities… or even me to come back.

Phone: Spell the phrase, "hockey rink"

Chef Hatchet: "h-o-c-k-e-y r-i-n-g"

Phone: Wrong. The last letter is a k.

Chef Hatchet: DAMN YOU, PHONE

Owen: Will there be breaks?

Ms Norris: There should be two. Also you’ll most likely come home late way beyond pick up time.

Duncan: Aw man. But hey, at least we’re not stuck at the daycare.

Ms Norris: Meet our two best players in the junior team. They should be around your age. Their names? Wayne and Raj.

Wayne: So, these are the kids we’ll be mentoring for the next two hours?

Raj: Yeah. It’s nice knowing were not the only four year olds interested in this game.

Wayne: I’m Wayne, captain of the Snow Owls. And this is my bestie, Raj.

Raj: We’re really excited to have you on board for this… field trip, if I’m not wrong.

Wayne: But first, you need to get geared up. Into the changing room. Now.

Courtney (to Duncan): how does Raj know we’re on a field trip?

Duncan (to Courtney): How am I supposed to know?

Scott (to Courtney): It’s gonna be fun hitting each other with hockey pucks…

Raj: Hey there, Bowie. Wanna join us?

Bowie: Uhh, sure?

Cody: Yay! I love figure skating!

Bowie: I have a pretty huge crush on Raj, really. Shocked? What if I told you, I’m gay. Openly. Not sure about Raj though…

Raj: This Bowie guy sometimes appears on some training sessions, and he’s… so handsome. I like him a lot, he’s really friendly. Not sure if Bowie is really interested in me though…

Wayne: I’m sure Raj is gay, and I’m ok with it. But I can’t pressure him to come out of the closet that early though… Bowie seems like a nice guy for him though.

Wayne: So, the first thing you need to know about hockey is skating on ice

Cody: Like figure skating?

Raj: Not really. You’ll have to skate on ice though, but that is mainly for movement around the rink.

Wayne: Now. ONE ROUND AROUND IT. Try to keep only one foot move at a time… and if you do fall, try falling forwards. 

(Lightning zooms through the hockey rink with ease)

Raj: This Lightning dude is killing it in the rink!

Wayne: We should definitely invite him into the hockey team, sometime, ain’t it right, Rajie?

Raj: Absolutely, Wayner.

(Cody hits a wall. Everyone cringes in pain)

Wayne: Should we help Cody?

Sierra (somehow already geared up): Hi guys! I’m late. CODY, I’m COMING!

(Sierra helps Cody up)

Cody: Thanks, Sierra

Sierra: You’ll always be my little angel… CODY.

Duncan: Cody, you ok?

Cody: Yeah… (falls over)

Sierra: Uh, I think Cody needs to rest on the bleachers

Lightning: On it!

(Lightning places Cody on the bleachers and hands him an ice pack)

Lightning: Like last time… Just that… you might have to miss out on the rest of the action… But it’s for your own good. Just rest there and all the pain should go away after the session.

Cody: Thanks… but I feel like joining back in.

Lightning: Alright then… be careful.

Cuts to the hockey rink

Wayne: And that is how you hold a hockey sti-

(Duncan and Scott playfully fight with hockey sticks and fall over)

Raj: Let’s just… move on to shooting the pucks into the goal.

Leshawna: But how are we supposed to hit the puck-

Courtney: It’s obvious

Leshawna: And aiming?

Wayne: If you want to aim right, hit it from the left. And vice versa. It should be easy.

Leshawna: I’ll try… (misses the shot)

Leshawna: NOOOOOOOO

Courtney: Watch. and learn.

(Courtney tries to aim for the goal and misses. The puck flies and hits Leshawna’s head)

Leshawna: AH! IT GOT ME-

(Owen barely hits the puck and it somehow goes in)

Courtney: WHAT?

Wayne: You only have to try harder when it’s a real match. There is a goalie guarding the goal, preventing these bad boys from entering.

Raj: That would really hurt if it hits… the balls.

(Wayne and Raj laugh)

Scott: That really is a stun seed. Because if you flip it backwards, you get it’s target: Dees nuts! (cackles)

(Courtney hits Scott in the groin with a hockey stick)

Courtney: That was not funny and rather… overused.

Scott: Not the balls… Also, can we do a time skip? No one wants to see all this training.

(Time skip)

Wayne: Now that you mastered the art of hockey, it’s time for a match!

Raj: You’ll have to split up into teams and whoever wins gets… free ice cream! Only one flavour though…

Courtney: Finally… can we have chocolate? It’s the best flavour of all time… It’s so tasty…

Scott: We know. Everybody likes chocolate.

Wayne: So, we have to put each other into different teams. To make things fair, we’ll be in each team. I take team 1 while Raj takes team 2.

Raj: And to shake things up a bit, we’ll choose the first members of the teams. These guys-

Courtney: uhm

Raj:… they’ll have to pick the rest of the team.

Wayne: So I’d pick… Sierra.

Sierra: YES!

Raj: And… Lightning.

Lightning: sha-BAM! Thanks for picking me in your team, there’s no way we lose now.

Wayne: And now we’d leave you to pick your teammates.

Raj: Think carefully… you want a strong, well-rounded team. This usually gets a higher chance of winning.

Sierra: Cody

Cody: Cody is my name! Yay!

(Lightning and Sierra chooses their teams)

Wayne: Alright, the teams are settled. Team 1 (Wayne, Sierra, Cody, Courtney, Owen, Leshawna) on the left, Team 2 (Raj, Lightning, Scott, Mike, Duncan and Bowie) on the right.

Raj: Now, LET’S PLAY SOME HOCKEY!

(everyone cheers)

Wayne: We’re still from the same hockey team, I am used dividing each other into two for practice. But play against Raj in another hockey team? That is a living nightmare for me, man.

Hockey match starts. A montage of highlights from the match starts in the following order:

Lightning passes to Scott

Wayne manages to steal the puck from Duncan

Courtney finally scores a goal

Sierra skating near the border of the rink, aggressively hogging the puck

Mike accidentally trips and falls, and takes a big gasp

Chester: YA DARN KIDS BETTER LEARN SO-

Scott: Mike, help me score this goal

(Chester takes a big gasp)

Mike: Alright… (scores)

Courtney: I’m starting to grow a little scared about this match… There is usually a twist somewhere that can threaten our lives because we’re the main characters of the show… I wonder if anyone knows about the pattern…

Wayne and Raj: …What can possibly go wrong?

?:…They better get ready… wait. WRONG EPISODE. WHO PUT ME HERE?

Another montage occurs, this time in the following sequence:

Cody passes to Sierra, only for Scott to intercept it.

Owen scores another goal

Wayne: (hears some buzzer). Sorry guys, it appears that our time is up, now let’s see which team scored the most points…

Raj: Uh, Wayne, it’s right there… And it appears, that you won! Nice job, pal.

Wayne: Thanks… anyways, as promised, we’re gonna buy the winning team some ICE CREAM!

(Team 1 cheers)

Raj: Welp, when we said only the winning team is getting ice cream… we lied. ALL OF YOU WILL GET IT!

(Team 2 cheers)

Cuts to the ice cream truck conveniently placed outside. The kids enjoy some ice cream.

Wayne: And that, is basically it for your field trip.

Raj: We hope it was fun!

Lightning: It is awesome! I would love to come again sometimes. Anyways, when you three are free, wanna come over?

Bowie: Uhh… sure! We might tag along a friend… I know.

Courtney: Well, I guess our time is up… it’s already past pickup time. Speaking of which, where’s Chef?

Cuts to a restaurant, also nearby

Chef Hatchet: Thanks for taking me out…

Ms Norris: No, thanks for suggesting this date.

Chef Hatchet: No, thanks for filling my heart… after that LeFonda stunt my students pulled a few years back.

Chapter Text

Heather is humming in the kitchen to the tune of the show’s theme song, baking something. Owen barges into the kitchen, held back by Noah

Owen: What… is this… smell?  It’s so yummy…

Noah: Can someone give him a restraining order?

Heather: Oh, it’s just my cupcakes. I made the recipe myself.

Noah: Looks tasty…

Owen: Can I have o-

Heather: Yes.

Owen: YAY!… wait… is there a catch?

Heather: Yes. Give me my makeup kit and I’ll give it to you

Owen: YAY-

Heather: Once I finish my makeup. I need to look quite presentable for the bakeoff this evening.

Noah: Wait… you made the recipe yourself? Awesome! Me and Owen ran a cookie business but our secret recipe… was revealed.

Alejandro: Hola, mi amigos! Whatcha doing here, baking cupcakes?

Heather: Correct, Alejandro. Once they’re done you’ll get first bite.

Priya: Cupcakes? I love cupcakes. They’re so tasty an-

Heather: Can we show the confessionals now?

Priya: WHAT? B-b-b-bu-

Owen: Huh, talk about discrimination.

Alejandro: Ahhh, Heather’s so nice…

Heather: It’s all in this little bottle. And only I can touch it. Not even you, Alejandro.

Owen: That’s a shame, Al…

Alejandro: For the last time, it’s Al-e-han-dro… but I can get used to this.

Noah: Uhh… someone’s taken your bottle

Priya: Uh oh… and I think they’re getting away.

Heather: Into the 4x4. Now. We’ve got a recipe thief to catch.

Alejandro: On it.

(The kids get on the 4x4)

Noah: The thief is close by. We’re on his tail.

Alejandro: Let’s move. Faster.

(The car speeds up but the kids somehow loses track of ?)

Priya: Uhh, I think the thief is gone

Alejandro: That thief is muy intelligente, hiding somewhere to get out of our sights… Pretty sneaky if you ask me.

Noah: Not so sneaky after all, cos I took a picture.

Owen: YES! This is much easier!

Cuts to a montage that plays in the following order

Owen (in a restaurant): Found any guy with the same look as this?

Heather (outside a pet shop): That guy stole my cupcake recipe! Have you seen anyone that looks as ugly as this?

Alejandro (in a bus): Hola, stranger. Found any weirdo who looks exactly like this?

Priya (in the same bus, in an intimidating tone): TELL US

Noah (with a megaphone, in a street): HELLO! PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU FOUND THIS GUY. or this cupcake stop dancing.

(Heather dances in a cupcake costume)

Heather: I hate you.

Trent: I think I found someone that looks like it… this way!

Noah: Thanks. Guys, let’s go.

(The kids (except Trent, he’s a background character) run into the alleyway and finds ?)

?: Fine. You got me. Take this.

Alejandro: And thanks, happy to- wait… that’s just a poster… to some fake museum.

?: And bye… (somehow teleports into a portal)

Noah: What was tha-

Heather: JUMP IN. THE RECIPE IS IN THERE!

(The kids follow ? into the portal and end up in some dystopian future)

Heather: What is this?

(The kids see ? talk to something, ? reveals to be two squirrels in a man costume, talking to a government agent that’s a… squirrel. Squirrels as intelligent as humans roam around the world, carrying pet humans)

Government Agent: Thank you, Agent Acorn and Agent Chestnut.

Agent Acorn: You’re welcome. With this artefact from the past, well be able to take over the past world! AHAHAHHAHAHA

Agent Chestnut: (squirrel noises)

Government Agent: uhh… let’s just leave him be.

Priya: We’re in a future… where squirrels took over?

Owen: I know all too well not to trust these guys…

Noah: Wow, they really hold a big grudge.

Alejandro: New plan. Save the recipe. And the world.

Heather: Guys, look! Squirrel suits! We can blend in as these animals.

(The kids don squirrel suits)

Noah: If I had to choose between wearing these tight suits and hanging myself with a snake, I’d pick the snake anytime.

Heather: These suits look so cute! OMG.

Cuts to a ticket to a museum. A receptionist greets the kids

Receptionist: Hello! Welcome to the Human History Museum! We’ve got new artefacts. Would you like to see what the dumb humans left behind before we took over, buy a ticket for 8 acorns.

Alejandro: Can we please enter for free… our mommy is inside, and she’s getting pregnant

Noah (whispers to Alejandro): You don’t have to go… that far.

Receptionist: It’s an emergency… so sure. But you can stay since you’re nice to your mommy.

Heather: YES!

(The kids enter the museum for free)

Receptionist (to phone): Hello, President. We’ve got some kids running amok. Four year old humans.

Heather: Now, where did they put the-

Noah: RECIPE! RIGHT THERE.

Security Guard: Stop right there and put your hands in the air.

Alejandro: Run. Me and Priya would distract them.

Priya: WHAT?

Alejandro: I’m not taking it back. Just tell them to run for their lives and we’ll battle these nutjobs head on!

Priya: Let’s do this. FOR HUMANKIND!

(Alejandro and Priya battle the security guards while Noah, Owen and Heather run for the recipe… and the exit. The kids get cornered by more security guards.

Alejandro: We may be cornered… but mi amigos, we’ve got an advantage.

Noah: What?

(Heather pulls out a spatula)

Noah: That is our advantage?

Receptionist: Well well well, children, we’ve got you cornered… We’ve got a Code 1 at the aisle. Got some human thieves with the sacred recipe.

(The kids get tranquilised and wake up in a weird facility, suspended above a vat of sulfuric acid and green food dye)

President: Welcome… to 5 years in the future.

Alejandro: We. are stuck… 5 years into the future? WHAT?

President: It’s a surprise, you clowns went all the way just to get your recipe and stop us from enslaving all of humanity in every time, from the Ancient Egypt times to the 1980s?

Priya: WHAT? WHY?

President: You human fools have been viewed as inferior, yet dominant to us squirrels before I got my newfound intelligence. Because YOUR TEACHER made me fall into a vat… of toxic goo.

Noah: That explains the grudge.

President: You kids and your teacher had injured me time and time again… Firstly you used your teacher’s toys to hit us when I wanted the wishing stone…

Owen: Yup. They hold a serious grudge…

President: And because of this… YOU GET TO WITNESS THE EXECUTION OF YOUR FAVOURITE TEACHER… BEFORE HAND! AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA

Future Chef Hatchet: What have I done to deserve this, master? I only was teaching kids…

Heather: NOT CHEF! you [censored].

Noah: First of all, why are you called a president? This place is clearly not a democracy…

President: Well, President sounds like a nice human language word for ruler, so…

President: WHAT? Naming yourself "dictator" is stupid. It’s uncool. "President" on the other hand, sounds like a cool villain name. So don’t judge. They both mean ruler of the people.

(Noah continues to distract the President while the rest try to free themselves)

Owen: How do we, get out of here safely?

Alejandro: I don’t-

(Priya swings herself over and over)

Priya: The rope is around 10 feet long, if I’m not wrong, this should land us right near Future Chef. We can save him and make a run for it with the recipe!

Owen: Uhh, what?

Priya: SWING HARDER IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!

Alejandro: We have no other choice. Noah, you too.

Noah: Fine, anyways, monarch or king is a better name.

President: Pfft, these names are overused and bo-ring. Anyways, got any game reccomendations for a phone?

Noah: I don’t know, maybe try Sick Tricks?

President: Uhh… it’s not available on the Play Store

Noah: I ran out of idea- AAAAAAA

(The kids scream as they somehow fly into the ground. Priya lets out a war cry instead)

Future Chef Hatchet: What? HOW?

Alejandro: We’re here to SAVE YOU! We’re from 5 years ago and we got here because of a recipe heist…

Future Chef Hatchet: Recipe heist… I do remember Heather bringing her beloved recipe for a bake-off… on the 5th of April… and then next week some intelligent squirrels got me and here I am.

Priya: LET’S MAKE A RUN FOR IT!

(The kids and Future Chef Hatchet run for the exit)

President: God dang it. HEY DORKS! YOU MIGHT RECOGNISE SOME THINGS I GOT! THEY’RE ALL THE UNIVERSES WHERE YOU. LOST! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Owen: A Leshawna-shaped trophy… a lion? AAAAAAAA-

Alejandro: IN HERE! We found… life!

Alejandro: If they’re squirrels in human suits, we’re dead.

Owen: Wow, a time machine!

Priya: Let’s see… what date to put?

Heather: April 5th. That’s the date of the bake-off. April 5th, 2024!

Alejandro: Bingo! Let’s put it…

Heather: And let’s see…

President (barges into the room): Don’t you dare… and I’m not telling you it’s around 2.30 pm.

Priya: THANKS! (Keys in 11.50 am)

(The kids get sucked into the portal. President watches the portal)

President: AHAHHAHAHAHA, that’s too late for the- wait… 11.50 am? NO. These kids are smarter than I thought they are… But no, I will NOT let them win.

(The President jumps into the portal)

The kids end up at the street outside the daycare

Heather: There we are… and that is one big puddle of goo… in a drain.

President: NO. YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO PREVENT IT.

Heather: Oh you’ll see…

Cuts to the office. Chef Hatchet is tied up by Noah

Noah: This is for your own good.

Cuts back to the street beside the daycare

President: Agent Acorn and Agent Chestnut. We need some back-

(Priya ties the President up while Owen and Noah suck up the acid, but it spills into a wagon of beakers.)

?: Huh, seems interesting… Might do some experiments with it…

President: NOOOO!

(The background around them tears into blue rifts as the President slowly bleeps out of existence)

President: YOU… YOU RUINED EVERYTHING. BUT THIS IS NOT THE LAST TIME YOU’LL SEE ME. NOT IN A MILLION YEARS-

Alejandro: This seems like a cool transition.

President: YOU [bleep], YOU’LL PAY THE PRICE, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

(The President ceases to exist, and the kids gets pulled into a portal that takes them back to Present Day, in the kitchen)

Heather: We’re back!

Alejandro: This… is

Alejandro and Priya: ONE THRILL OF AN ADVENTURE!

Noah: It’s great that everything is back to normal

Heather: AND MY RECIPE! IT’S BACK!

(Courtney enters the room)

Courtney: GUYS! YOU’RE BACK!

Heather: Yup, we’re back.

Courtney: I was only pretending to be excited. You almost caused a kitchen fire and your cupcakes… they’re burnt

Heather: NOOOOOOOO

Alejandro: Can I get a bite after the bake-off this evening?

Heather: Fine… I wished we could eat it earlier…

Owen: So, there is no bake-o-

Heather: THERE. IS.

Owen: Oh.

Cuts outside the daycare as the episode ends.

Chapter Text

The episode opens up in the daycare. The kids are playing with toys, with some lazing down without anything to do. Sugar barges into the room, excited to tell them something

Sugar: QUIT YOUR TOY PLAYING AND SPINE LAYING, COS I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU. SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT

Scott: What is it? You pooped your pants last night?

(The kids laugh)

Sugar: OF COURSE NOT. That’s a you thing. I, on the other hand, have successfully made the cut of the newest beauty pageant for four year olds -  MISS FOUR YEAR OLD!

Duncan: Seriously? That’s the name? Sounds like a joke.

Leshawna: Well I’M IN. AND I WILL CRUSH YOU AND TAKE. THAT. CROWN.

Beth (as Gwen): I’m participating. To tell the world very important things

Alejandro: Beauty pageant? That sounds like… uhh

Alejandro: Welcome to Beauty Pageant 101, where pretty ladies slay a catwalk and show off their deepest secrets and other [bleep] just to earn the title of "pageant queen". Sounds overrated if you ask me.

Priya: UHM-

Alejandro: What. You’ve never been in one

Priya: Come on, our f- I mean classmate is telling us she made the cut for a prestigious o-

Alejandro: How does an inaugural version of an annual beauty pageant make it presti-

Sugar: What I’m about to show you is the auditions… Lightning helped me record them… he isn’t the most tech savvy but he did it.

Lightning: Yup. Lightning’s done it! Time to show you guys what I’ve recorded last week.

A montage of scenes from an audition shows:

Sugar plays a banjo attempting to cover "Our Song" by Taylor Swift

Leshawna plays a flute

Gwen breaks dolls and merges them into a monster toy, and trips and falls through the stage.

A background character does ribbon dancing and gets tangled in the process

Another background character tries to do an acapella cover of an Eminem song

Lightning sleeps in the audition with the camera facing him… only his face is shown. Cody wakes him up.

Julia texts on her phone for the entire audition

A third background character draws random scribbles with lipstick, attempting to do makeup and look presentable.

Lightning records Millie jotting down the stupid auditions onto a notebook. Millie records Lightning recording her on camera onto her notebook.

A fourth background character eats cotton candy and burps loudly

Cuts to an amphitheater where the beauty pageant takes place 

MacArthur: Welcome, boys and girls to the first ever Miss Four Year Old beauty pageant! We’ve got… eight contending pageant queens ready to slay the runways with their beauty and wits.

(Everyone cheers)

MacArthur: Up first, we’ve got a dark girl… it’s none other than… Gwen.

"Gwen": Funerals are my favourite holiday.

Lightning (to Wayne): That is a horrible impression of Gwen… wait, what are you doing here?

Wayne: Me and Raj are just… cheering on our friend.

Lightning: Wait a minute…

MacArthur: And up next, someone more vibrant, more likely to rule the entire world in the next 5 years and has a pretty big attitude, it’s Leshawna!

Leshawna: What’s UP, suckers! I’m here to win the prize

MacArthur: And oooh, we got one from the countryside, who has an… expertise in beauty pageants? It’s Sugar!

Sugar: Hi there, beloved fans! I’m here to win another pageant, a big one!

MacArthur: We… just launched. Anyways, we’ve got someone big on social media, and ironically four year old, it’s Julia!

Julia: Hey there, yes, I’m on Miss Four Year Old, ready to win. #PageantQueen (takes a selfie)

MacArthur: And we’ve got another pageant queen who’s also rich and spoiled, it’s Dakota!

Dakota: Hey there, butt knuckles. I’m here to w-

Sugar: P-lease, you’re delusional. I’m here for the-

Leshawna: NO I’M HERE FOR T-

(Dakota, Sugar and Leshawna fight)

MacArthur: Up next, her hair is tough as nails and her attitude might give Leshawna’s a panic attack. Give it up, for Anne-Maria!

Anne-Maria: Hi-

Dakota: Get your hair off and stop blocking me from the sc-

Anne-Maria: (sprays Dakota with hairspray) Stop bickering about my poof because of your jealousy issues

MacArthur: Oh my, this is getting dark-

"Gwen": Dark is my favourite mood.

MacArthur: I didn’t really ask for your opinion. Up nex-

"Gwen": Your parents are in a loveless marriage.

MacArthur: Ok… can you please shut up for a few seconds? Anyways, up next-

(an angelic singing can be heard)

Heather: Why is it… so annoying?

Alejandro: It’s honestly beautiful, but not as beautiful as your voice, mi amor…

MacArthur: Her voice really is that of an angel, it’s none other than Ella!

Ella: Hi there, thanks for having me

Sugar: UGH, not you.

Ella: Hi-

Sugar: Shut up.

Ella: Alright.

MacArthur: And our final contestant is… Bowie? Wait, did I read that wrongly? I swear that’s a boy’s name. Bowie… Bo-wie. Am I reading it upside down?

Raj: It’s him. YES!

Lightning: How did he make it i-

Wayne: He said he can’t have too many crowns, he’s really competitive. One time, he was crowned best makeup artist. Ever.

Lightning: Well, pageant queen isn’t on my list of things…

Wayne: Can you tell me what they are?

Lightning: Sure, football player, astronaut, superhero, sea monst-

Raj: You want to be the best sea monster? WHAT?

Lightning: I don’t know, it just so happens to be there. But a boy can dream… and watch the host read his name over and over in shock.

MacArthur: Bo-wie? Isn’t that a boy’s name? Is it gender neutral? Let me put on my reading glasses… Bo-wie. Huh, that’s a-

Bowie: That’s ME!

Leshawna: How does a boy get onto a beauty pageant?

Heather: I. LOST THE AUDITIONS. TO A BOY? WHAT?!

Bowie: Boo hoo. Anyways, what are we su-

MacArthur: The first part of this pageant is to answer… random questions! This will let out your inner beauty pretty effectively and as a twist… YOU GET TO SPIN A WHEEL TO GET YOUR QUESTIONS!

Duncan (in a raptor costume): And I get to sabotage you guys! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!

MacArthur: I made him wear it. Anyways, the prettiest contestant goes first, and it’s Ella!

Ella: Alright, just gotta spin the wheel and… what is your deepest, darkest secret? Oh, uh…

Duncan: She’s secretly a dragon inside. We all saw it.

Ella: What is Duncan talking about? Look at me (sings a tune and attracts all kinds of wildlife)

(Alejandro and Priya stare at Ella, horrified by the truth about her)

Ella: See?

(Duncan plays an excerpt of S2E18 - Dissing Cousins Part 2, where Ella gets mad and turns into a dragon)

Ella: What? This isn’t real. It’s CGI, technology is advanc-

MacArthur: That literally isn’t inner beauty, Ella is eliminated!

Ella: B-b-b-but I-

(Sugar pushes Ella off the stage)

Sugar: HAH! You lost! Eat it, dragon girl!

(Ella slowly turns into a dragon)

Izzy (to a walkie-talkie): We’ve got a Code 1 near the stage. A princess is turning green and scaly.

(Ella gets tranquilised)

Sugar: Is it my turn?

MacArthur: (sighs) Fine. Spin the wheel.

(Sugar spins the wheel)

Sugar: When was the last time you changed your opinion about something major? I’-

Duncan: EVERYBODY HERE ARE FOUR YEAR OLDS. WE CAN’T ANSWER THAT QUESTION! (spins the wheel aggressively)

Duncan: Sugar, your new question is… name a family experience.

Sugar: Scott came along to visit my farm… when we got to the chicken coop, I was like "Good little chickens, just don’t panic…". And he was like-

(Duncan plays the cymbals loudly)

Scott (meanwhile): LAY THE EGGS NOW OR YOU’RE TURNED INTO MEAT

Sugar: There. That was exactly what he said and did.

MacArthur: That… was interesting… Dakota. Your turn!

Dakota: (spins the wheel with anxiety) Please be a good one, please be a good one… What's one place you've travelled that you never want to go back to? Oh, the laundromat. It’s so stinky and the washing machines hardly work at. all.

MacArthur: Alright… Bowie. YOUR TURN!

Bowie: (spins the wheel) …Your love of your life? Hmmm, he is sitting there in the audience and he shines the best in the hockey rink. With a best friend on his side to support him all the way. I’ve attended a few of his hockey matches over the past few months. And it’s…

(Wayne holds up Raj’s hand. Both of them are excited)

Bowie: RAJ!

Raj: YES! I KNEW IT!

MacArthur: Alright… that was rather… interesting. Anyways, Julia, YOUR TURN! Spin that baby like you’ve never done before!

Julia: Alright… (spins the wheel) What is your biggest achievement ever? I started my journey of self growth when I was two, posting my every move on social media and gained a large following of two hundred thous-

Duncan: RAWR! I’m a DINOSAUR! I don’t care about what you say (blows raspberry)

Julia: (spirals up in anger) MOUTHWASH! Ever heard of it? For reals, you fit the dinosaur costume you stupid Neanderthal, or should I say, halitosis-saurus? Your green mohawk does not blend well with your hair and your choker makes me want to barf. Big yikes. And your parents? They’re literally the Lankybox of the music industry. It’s actually no wonder why you dressed up as that ugly lizard, ‘cause no one would want to get. with. THAT.

Duncan: (cries) MOMMY, DADDY, I CAN’T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE. (cries harder)

Bowie: Wow, you were really rrrrrough on that kid in the dinosaur costume.

Julia: You saw that?

Bowie: Everybody did.

(The camera shows the shocked faces of everyone. Millie continues to take down notes)

Priya: uhh… hi! What’s your name?

Millie:…My name? It’s Millie. And you?

Priya: Name’s Priya. This is my… two friends, Alejandro… and his girlfriend, Heather.

(Alejandro and Heather awkwardly wave)

Priya: Anyways, what are you doing with that notebook?

Millie: Just jotting down some stuff onto the notebook. I always wanted to be a journalist when I grow up, but my parents suggest that I just start with writing down stuff. Like, write down what you observe.

Priya: That seems… interesting, right guys?

(Time skip)

MacArthur: And now, the second and final part of the pageant, a beauty and TALENT CONTEST. You need to showcase your beauty in a free-for-all. You have ten minutes to do your makeup in front of the audience, NO MIRRORS. And then you do your talent. And time starts now!

(The contestants put on makeup with no mirrors, clearly anxious because of the audience. Sugar does not do makeup and rather, combs her hair. Wayne and Raj cheer for Bowie.)

Bowie: YES! The feeling is mutual. Just the drive I need to win. that. crown.

Anne-Maria: I just need to show off my hair and that would be an easy win.

MacArthur: AND TIME IS UP! Now, here’s the twist. EVERYONE SHOWS OFF THEIR TALENTS. AT THE SAME TIME! Now, get your props stat and let the games BEGIN!

The contestants show off their talent. Anne-Maria does nothing but show her hair and backside. "Gwen" makes dark comments about people’s talents. Dakota does a ribbon dance and trips and fall on Anne-Maria.

Anne-Maria: GET OFF MY POOF AND (sprays Dakota) STAY TEN FEET AWAY FROM ME AT ALL TIMES!

MacArthur: Dakota and Anne-Maria are out.

Anne-Maria: AW COME ON? You don’t like my poof? TASTE MY SPRAY THEN! (sprays MacArthur)

Sugar plays country songs on the banjo dressed up like Dolly Parton

Leshawna does a horrible attempt a contemporary dance and gets stepped on by Bowie flawlessly breakdancing on the floor.

MacArthur: And Leshawna is OUT

Leshawna: NO FAIR.

MacArthur: I write the rules, if you fail at your talent or get hurt, you’re OUT.

Leshawna: Fine.

Sugar: You see, Julia? If someone get’s hurt, they’re out. That’s a shame… and by that, I mean awesome!

(Sugar pushes Julia off with her banjo)

MacArthur: AND JULIA IS OUT!

Julia: THIS IS UNFAIR!

"Gwen": Blood is my favourite dri-

Gwen (in a wheelchair and lots of bandages): BETH, YOU’RE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A CLOWN FROM TV! AND WHY ARE YOU TAKING MY PLACE?

Beth: Uhh… because that’s what friends d-

MacArthur: Gwen is OUT! Or should I say, Beth. That leaves two people left for the title of pageant queen. Sugar… and Bowie. And looks like time is UP! Now it’s your chance to vote. for. who. wins.

(The crowd votes by drawing who should win on pieces of paper. Millie takes down whatever happened into her notebook. Another time skip occurs)

Scott: WHAT? I just came here to poop.

(Scott "finalises" his vote)

MacArthur: And now, our long-awaited winner of the first Miss Four Year Old, and titled pageant queen is…

Sugar… Sugar… E-Scope.

Izzy: WHAT? She’s my friend.

Izzy (as E-Scope): Name’s Kaleidoscope, or E-Scope for short.

MacArthur:…alright… Bowie… Bowie, and Bowie… Sugar… Bowie… Julia rages at a kid in a dinosaur costume?

Priya: what did you write?

Millie: Just what I observe in the pageant…

MacArthur:…I met a new friend, her name is Priya. She is a nice person who was an enjoyable person talking to. I have a feeling we’ll be inseparable buddies when we grow older.

Priya: Awww, that’s sweet of you, Millie

Millie: Thanks…

MacArthur: …Sugar. And it’s a tie-

Scott: WAIT UP! I HAVEN’T CAST MY VOTE YET-

MacArthur: Ok… and it’s for… what is that?

Scott: I don’t know, either Sugar or Bowie.

MacArthur: Ha ha ha, very funny, kid.

Scott: I make myself laugh at times. (chuckles a bit)

MacArthur: And it is really a tie. Thank god I always have tie-b-

Julia: Can I vote? I know who to vote. Just count my vote… please…

MacArthur: Fine. And it’s a vote for… Bowie? So, I guess Bowie wins. Bowie, you’re the pageant queen of Miss Four Year Old: THE INAUGURAL EDITION!

Bowie: YES!

MacArthur: You get this paper crown fit for a four year old, and this cool sash I found.

Bowie:…ok

MacArthur: NOW, SASHAY YOUR WAY TO THE RUNWAY, and join your friends over there

(Wayne, Raj and Lightning cheer for Bowie)

Bowie: If not for them, I would have never made it this far. And yes, I got the crown.

Sugar: This is rigged.

Julia: This is what you get for PUSHING ME OFF.

Sugar: Oh, I’m so sorry about trying to win here.

Julia: UGH

Leshawna: I WAS ROBBED OF THIS CONTEST

Anne-Maria: If only that skinny rich girl didn’t touch my poof.

Dakota: UHM, AT LEAST I DID SOMETHI-

(Anne-Maria sprays Dakota, again)

Anne-Maria: SHUT YOUR PRETTY PIE HOLE UP.

Alejandro: Eh, that was kinda entertaining.

Chef Hatchet: KIDS, YOU DID GREA-

Alejandro: And out of nowhere, he had to appear in every episode because he’s the teacher

Chef Hatchet: what did you say? TIME OUT. TWENTY MINUTES.

Cuts outside the amphitheater

Alejandro: HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? THIS ISN’T THE DAYCARE!

Chapter Text

The episode starts in the playground. Courtney feels bored on the swings.

Courtney: Good… for you.

Bridgette: Hey Courtney! Wanna watch some videos on WeTube?

Courtney: Sure… what would it be…

Bridgette: That cool song about us trying to be famous superstars but failed because of that-

Courtney: We do not talk about that.

Bridgette: Come ON! They’ve done this a few times already…

Noah: Eh, just musical adaptations of our show… I listened to a few… they’re way cheesier than Duncan’s parents.

Duncan (with visible tears): HEY! STOP MAKING FUN OF MY PARENTS (cries a bit more)

Bridgette: What’s up with Duncan today?

Noah: Some girl made fun of Duncan yesterday for blowing raspberry at her. Pretty much deserved if you ask me.

Wayne: Yeah… we all saw that.

Lightning: I… can explain.

Lightning: I invited them to come over… Raj and Bowie are in a game show called Lingo, so Wayne is the only one available

Wayne: Yeah… I… honestly don’t know what to do without Rajie…

Bridgette: Oooh, what is this?

Jude: Sup, dudes and dudettes, what’cha watching?

Bridgette: Just some videos of us… getting injured over and over again. Clips of us. Edits of u-

Jude: And who is that?

Wayne: HI! I’m Wayne. Captain of the Snow Owls, hoot hoot! Also a friend of theirs.

Jude: I’m Jude, nice to meet you dude.

Wayne: That… rhymes pretty well, DUDE!

Jude: That’s what makes it more enjoyable, DUDE!

Wayne and Jude: DUDDDEEEEEE-

Courtney: What is this? Sounds… weird.

Noah: Sounds unsuitable for WeTube if you ask me… A lot more concerning that it has both Duncan and Courtney in it.

Bridgette: GUYS! IT’S STARTING!

(Owen stops eating fudgy lumps and runs over to the screen)

The screen shows horribly animated versions of the kids we know and love

Horribly Animated Courtney: Duncan, what shall we do today?

Horribly Animated Duncan: Let’s have a little time off the daycare and visit your house.

Cuts to Horribly Animated Courtney’s house. A graphic scene gets showed in front of the kids, which gets cut to their faces when they see it.

Courtney: WHAT THE [censored] IS THIS?

Noah: The consequences of our actions.

Duncan: HAH! Courtney swore!

Courtney: YOU DID NOT HEAR THAT, YOU IMBECILE!

Wayne: Am I supposed to… close my eyes?

Lightning: JUST CLOSE IT. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THIS!

(Wayne and Lightning close their eyes)

Courtney: Me and DUNCAN are NOT LIKE THIS… THIS IS DEFAMATION. AND I WILL GET MY HANDS ON THAT DARN ANIMATION CHANNEL ONCE I GET HOLD OF MY LAWYERS!

Duncan: You don’t have lawyers, Courtney… but we need to stop this madness.

Courtney: Get your helmet and follow me. We’ve got an animation studio to trash.

Scott: Hey guys! Wanna rob a b… why the long face?

Noah: Some random channel posted a video showing Duncan and Courtney doing something that four year olds won’t do. Uncensored.

Scott: New plan! We send letters of appeasement to their doorstep.

Noah: And I know just how to do it!

Cuts to the dining table.

Noah: Dear, Kids Love Comedy. Subject: Defamation of Our Beloved Students. Dear Sir or Madam…

(Noah mails the letter)

Alejandro: What are you doing?

Noah: We’ve been milked by a NSFW content farm that poses as a kids channel. I’m mailing letters to tell them to STOP.

Alejandro: And where’s Duncan and Courtney

Noah: They went off… just to stop them at where the slop begins.

Cuts to the downtown. Duncan and Courtney are on a car.

Courtney (calling Sierra through the phone): Hi Sier-

Sierra (from another panel that suddenly appears): Did you hear that stupid content farm called Kids Love Comedy? They’ve been making pretty-

Courtney: Disturbing content. We know. Now tell us the ex-

Sierra: [censored address]

Courtney: Thanks, Sierra.

Sierra: You’re welcome. Be sure to-

(Courtney hangs up)

Cuts back to the daycare. It is already past pickup time and the parents are waiting… Duncan and Courtney are still missing.

Noah: And we’ve mailed it… To the Surprisingly Fast Mail service that’s horribly expensive.

Scott: And how did you afford it?

Noah: I sold Chef’s car.

Chef Hatchet (outside): MY CAR! WHERE DID IT GO?

Noah: Easy million bucks!

Scott: NICE…

Noah: But the mail service costs 100k per letter. We better make it fast before…

Scott: Juno Sabrina Carpenter AMV AleNoah Edition…

Alejandro: What-

Noah: Isn’t that the song with that weird suggestive lyric?

Alejandro: Those filthy gusanos…

Noah: They didn’t even pay the licenses required to use that song!

Alejandro (calling Island Records): Hi, Island Records… We’ve got some silly channel using your s-

Island Records Hotline: You are in the waiting room. Queue: 648.

Alejandro (whispers to himself): Esa espera es demasiado larga para cualquiera.

Alejandro: ¿Quién en su sano juicio esperaría tanto tiempo?… LOOK WE GOT NO TIME BEFORE THE FANS SEE THE [bleep] THESE DEGENERATES ARE MAKING.

Wayne: Uhh… is it over now?

Jude: We definitely should do something about this… BETH, OWEN…

(Owen stands in shock, traumatized)

Wayne: Why specifically Beth and Owen?

Jude: Eh, we formed a pretend superhero team called the "Bad Guy Busters", but since Beth is not here and Owe-

Wayne: Owen… OWEN!

Owen: AAAAH. Thanks, Wayne. Thanks for snapping me out of that… horrible thought.

Jude: Beth may not be here, but it’s time for the Bad Guy Busters!

Wayne: But what about Bowie and Ra-

Jude: NO TIME TO LOSE.

Wayne: I can’t improvise a superhero identity in five minutes!

Owen: Uhh… can we use this cool bubblegum-scented car that we won?

Jude: Sick ride, dude. Now, GET SUITED UP! We’ve got some corporation to stop!

Owen: What?

Jude: I’m starting to think… that they have been putting up inappropriate videos of us just to trick kids into doing inappropriate stuff.

Wayne: Seems plausible… But what should I-

Jude: Maybe your experience in hockey could help a bit?

Wayne: That seems like a great idea… right Rajie? uhh…

Wayne: Snap out of it, Wayner, Raj and Bowie are in that reality TV show.

Cuts to the castle

Noah: What do we do about this? We’re running dry of mail money and-

Scott: I have a plan… we host a Total DramaRama live event that secretly addresses the Kids Love Comedy fiasco.

Alejandro: Kids Love Comedy? More like Kids Love NSFW Content.

(The trio laughs)

Scott: But seriously, that isn’t real comedy. What we need is a real comedy show… and our options on our fourth member is running dr-

Noah (in an insincere tone): We need someone fast, someone stro-

(Lightning rushes into the castle, flexing his biceps)

Noah (in a sincere tone): That’ll do.

Lightning: sha-YEAH! Lightning’s joining!

Alejandro: Now we need something to b-

Island Records Hotline: Hello, Island Records…

Alejandro: Hola, mi amiga. I would like to open for Sabrina Carpenter… at Toronto-

Island Records Hotline: Wait a minute… SABRINA! COME OVER-

(Sabrina appears through another panel)

Sabrina: Hello, wait… is that?

Alejandro: Yes. The one and only, A-

Sabrina: I am… kind of a fan of your show, ever since you aired my music video. So, when are you available, kids?

Alejandro: We are available tonight. At Vancouver. We just need a-

Sabrina: Coming!

Alejandro: Now we need to wait for Sabrina Carpenter to pick us up.

(Lightning and Noah attempt to write Nonsense outros)

Lightning: How does… Sarbina write all these cool outros

Noah: Didn’t she stop doing that?

Lightning: Aw man… I wish that she could do an outro for the sha-LIG-

Scott: Save the talking for later. We’ve got some jokes to prepar-

(Bad Guy Busters music can be heard)

Lightning: Welp, I hate to say this but… you know what I’m tagging along with the comedy sesh- Cody and Sierra cuddle in Hazbin Hotel…

Alejandro: NO NOT HAZBIN HOTEL! That’s my programma favorito.

Scott: That explains the constant swearing in Spanish by a huge… lot.

Bad Guy Busters intro plays… without Bee Girl inside.

Dude Boy: Wait… who would be the leader… when Beth isn’-

Wayne: I’m the Hockey Captain. The expert in Hockey and combative with this cool stick I have.

Marshmallow Man: Man, didn’t know Wayne is good at martial arts

The Hockey Captain: Thanks, Owen. Now, we’ve got my friends to pick up. Show is almost ending

Cuts to the set where Lingo is being hosted at.

Bowie and Raj are at 15 points and have yet to beat Mary and Ellody’s score of 55. 1 minute is left on the clock

Bowie: JUNIOR. J-U-N-I-O-R

(Bowie gets a golden guess and scores 10 points)

RuPaul: That’s 25 points.

Raj: 5 letters… N, NASAL. N-A-S-A-L.

(Raj gets S and one A… in the wrong place)

Bowie: NINJA. N-I-N-J-A

(Bowie scores 5 points)

Raj:… HOCKEY! H-O-C-K-E-Y

(Raj scores another golden guess and 10 points)

RuPaul: These golden guesses keeps coming at them… well done!

Bowie: TREAT. T-R-E-A-T

(Bowie gets A, E and R in the wrong place)

Raj: TAMER. T-A-M-E-R.

(Raj scores 5 points)

Bowie: GIGGLE. G-I-G-G-L-E.

(Bowie gets no letters right)

Raj: GRAPES. G-R-A-P-E-S

(Raj scores 10 points, hitting 55 points)

RuPaul: Ten seconds left…

Bowie: YODEL. Y-O-D-E-L

(Bowie scores a golden guess and wins)

RuPaul: CONGRATULATIONS, BOWIE AND RAJ! Your sharp golden guess streak has won you $100000! How do you feel about it?

Bowie: We kind of… got a bit lucky wit-

Raj: It’s the power of teamwork, with a hint of true love here and there.

RuPaul: That really touches my hear-

Bowie: Did you hear that car crash…

Cuts outside the set

Marshmallow Man: LET US IN!

Security Guard: You kids better not intefere with Lingo

Dude Boy: But… it is ending soon…

The Hockey Captain: My friends are in there…

RuPaul (from inside): -the show that always gets the last word, and here’s mine. Good night!

Cuts near the location of the studio

Duncan: There it is…

Courtney: The motherboard of all our content farm problems. That stupid animation studio… looks like a building to-

(The Bad Guy Busters park near Duncan and Courtney)

Courtney: Owen, Jude and Wayne. Why are you here? And Bowie and Raj too?

Raj: It’s a long story. But we’ve got a content farm to stop.

The Hockey Captain: And me, Owen and Jude are dressed as heroes. Because it’s a job for heroes to stop this madness. Beth is also part of the team but she’s not here. Sadly…

Marshmallow Man: Let’s enter the building!

Cuts to the arena where Sabrina is performing

Alejandro: Hi there, all 17000 of you. I’m Alejandro, and these are my friends that I brought up on stage, Scott, Lightning and Noah. We’re here for about fifteen minutes of your time… for a little comedy sesh and to address the whole Kids Love Comedy fiasco.

Scott: First of all, did you know that bulls get mad when they see red? Well, technically not, but I painted my bull at the farm red and it went on a wild goose chase. I don’t know why, but either they get med when they become red or start a wild goose chase.

(nobody laughs)

Noah: Scott’s jokes really are the frosting on the cake in comedy sessions.

(everybody laughs)

CEO: Workers, you better work on more Total DramaRama content while I write some more ideas… I know, Duncan and L-

CCTV System: Unidentified children detected.

CEO: THEY’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! (tries to escape)

Cuts to the animation hall…

Raj: Psst, do you know where whoever runs this madness is?

Animator: Idk, maybe down this left

Raj: GUYS. DOWN THIS LEFT

(The Bad Guy Busters go to the left and enter the office)

The Hockey Captain: THIS IS THE BAD GUY BUSTERS. STOP WHATEVER YOUR DOING AN- where is he?

Marshmallow Man: Aw man, we came all the way for nothing?

Dude Boy: Huh, he must have left his wig because he was sca-

The Hockey Captain: Hmmm, self destruct button… Seems like a good idea (slams the button with his hockey stick)

Bowie: WAYNE NO-

PA system: It is going to blow up in ten minutes. Get out immediately.

Bowie: Huh, the PA system seems a bit… o-

Dude Boy: LET’S JUMP OUT OF THIS WINDOW. NOW.

(The Bad Guy Busters jump out of the window. Dude Boy uses his fan to reduce the fall but it fails. Everyone screams in pain)

Duncan: Now LET’S GET OUT OF HERE.

Courtney: It’s pretty late… our parents must be worried…

Bowie: Wanna do a race?

Courtney: Uhh…

Duncan: YES! LET’S DO THIS

(The Bad Guy Busters race Duncan and Courtney in a car race)

CEO: HAHA! This- Why are they escaping?

PA System: Explodes in 5, 4, 3-

CEO: [censored]

(The building explodes as the animators run out)

(The next day)

Alejandro: GUYS! Kids Love Comedy is no longer posting stuff anymore!

Duncan: YES! WE’VE WON!

Noah: Hmmm, I guess our comedy sesh yesterday worked.

Lightning: (hums to the tune of Bed Chem)

Scott: why do they not appreciate my fine humor?

Owen: Hmmm, our little invasion of the building really worked out just fine

Cuts outside the daycare as the episode ends.

Chapter Text

It is nighttime. Alejandro and Heather sneak into the daycare.

Heather: Why are we doing this again?

Alejandro: Just to sparkle a bit of revenge.

Heather: I like your style, babe…

Alejandro: Thanks… Now, where did he put his stupid "Drone of Despair"?

Alejandro: You might be wondering, what is the "Drone of Despair" and why am I enacting revenge this late? Duncan has been tor-MEN-ting me with his endless pranks with his drone, that is labelled the "Drone of Despair".

A montage of pranks Duncan pull on Alejandro with the Drone of Despair begins in the following sequence:

The drone pulls Alejandro’s chocolate chip cookie away

The drone pours grease the floor near the toilet. Alejandro walks out of the toilet and slip right into a room filled with crabs.

The drone gives Alejandro a wedgie

The drone transforms itself into a black goo monster with one large googly eye using the art supplies, and chases Alejandro around.

Alejandro: But, not anymore. I know more about that stupid drone than Duncan. What is it? It has a phone control mode and I’m connecting my phone to it via GreenMouth. Soon, Duncan will feel the Despair. (laughs evilly like his teenage counterpart in Total Drama All-Stars)

The time skips to daytime. The kids rush into the daycare. Duncan picks up his toy drone left at a rather… unorthodox place.

Duncan: Finally. Phew, I didn’t even know where I placed it yesterday… or why I placed it there? But test drive is over, now let’s do some real pranks. Drone, get a bag of acorns and meet me outside-

Alejandro (through drone): on it, master.

(The drone flies off on its own)

Duncan: Huh, it must have gotten an upgrade since yesterday… Eh, who cares, it can’t be that bad…

Cuts outside

Duncan: Now, who to prank next…

(Mike plays with a sandcastle as the drone flies back with a bag of acorns)

Duncan: Give Mike a squirrel butt! AHAHAHAHAH-

Alejandro (through drone): On it.

(The drone shoves the bag of acorns into Duncan’s backside)

Duncan: What the… WRONG GUY, DRONE

Alejandro (through drone): Whoops, my bad. Let me help you put it back where it belongs.

(The drone pulls out a hand and slaps Duncan in the face)

Alejandro (through drone): Oops, my bad. And oh no, some squirrels are after you.

Duncan: What the?! AAAAAAH (gets a squirrel butt and runs away)

Alejandro (through drone): That must be so emotionally devastating. Very sorry about that.

(Cuts to the castle where Alejandro and Heather are hiding. Alejandro and Heather chuckle at Duncan’s predicament as Sierra enters the castle)

Sierra: Hey, Alejandro and Heather… what are you doing?

Alejandro: Getting revenge on Duncan for pranking me endlessly yesterday…

Sierra: Hand me the phone. I’ve got some pranks to pull on green-haired freak. He’s hurt my Cody for FAR TOO LONG.

Heather: You can give us suggestions-

Sierra: I know… let’s make him go to a… hmmm WOLF EXHIBIT. IN THE ZOO.

Alejandro: These wolves would do him pretty dirty. I’m in. Setting drone to pick up mode.

Heather: Destination. The ZOO!

Cuts to inside the daycare.

Duncan: That didn’t work… but ignore the sentient part of that. Time to wedgie someone. EHEHEHHE. Wait… why are the controls not working?

Alejandro (from drone): What are you talking about?

Duncan: Huh, nevermind they- AAAAAH LET ME GO

Alejandro (from drone): Inaffirmative. Destination. The zoo

Duncan: HELPppppp-

(The drone pulls Duncan away)

(Time skip that is preceding a montage of pranks on Duncan)

Duncan gets launched onto a plane and it crashes onto Chef’s car [Chef Hatchet: MY CAR!]

Duncan gets beaten up by a hammer multiple times.

Duncan gets swirlied in Chef’s personal toilet.

(knocks on Chef’s door)

Chef Hatchet: Yes, Dunca- OH DEAR! Why are you like this…

Duncan: Brought drone to school to prank people… but it is pranking me instead.

Chef Hatchet: You know, you aren’t supposed to bring toys from outside into the daycare… especially to prank people. But there is a rogue drone…

Duncan: NOW WHAT?

Chef Hatchet: Stay there. We’ve got a drone to catch. (Chef Hatchet suits himself up to catch a drone)

Duncan: OHOHOHOHOHO, you’re gonna get it "Drone of Despair"!

Chef Hatchet: Just gotta call a friend of mine. (imitates an eagle)

(A vulture flies onto Chef’s hand)

Chef Hatchet: Uhh… wrong kind of bird, but good enough.

Chef Hatchet and Duncan finds the Drone of Despair using some modified EMF detector.

Chef Hatchet: This drone detector can detect drone activity from a range of fiiiive feet… and there is one right in this daycare…

(Cuts inside)

Alejandro: Uh oh, our cover is slowly getting blown… right, guys?

(Sierra and Heather gets wedgied and gets repeatedly slammed into each other by the drone)

Alejandro: AH! The phone’s not working! Wait a minute… (checks the phone) System Override… DUNCAN!!!!!

(Chef Hatchet and Duncan enter the castle)

Chef Hatchet: There you are! Stand down, drone and GO TO THE TIME OUT CORNER

? (through drone): Hello, Norbert.

Chef Hatchet: How did you know my real na-

? (through drone): Get. WEDGIED.

(The drone wedgies Chef Hatchet)

Duncan: Huh, sounds like a new voice… Wait a minute.

Alejandro: …what?

Duncan: Did you prank me with MY DRONE?

Alejandro: Ok fine… I did… because YOU PRANKED ME WITH IT YESTERDAY.

Duncan: A revenge prank? Hah, nice one.

(Alejandro gets angrier)

Duncan: I didn’t mean it like it was a joke, I gotta respect that.

Alejandro (calmed down): Good. I was about to turn you into a human burrito… but we’ve got a rogue drone to catch. (calls for the vulture)

Duncan: What… is this?

Alejandro: I’ve travelled the world with Priya in the last four years… of course I know how to attract vultures. Now, mi amigo, get the yellow drone and DESTROY IT.

Duncan: Destroy… what?

Alejandro: If we want to stop the Drone of Despair from harming our friends, we need to DESTROY IT. It’s our only hope.

Duncan: Hey, that voice… it sounds just like that girl that sold it to me.

Alejandro: Eh, who cares. We’ve got a drone to kill. Get some things to throw at the drone. I’ll get the vulture to stop it at its tracks. And AIM AT THE DRONE NOT-

Duncan: Lalalalalala, nobody ASKED.

Alejandro: Fine. BUT IF YOU HIT THE DRONE IT WOULD BE FASTER.

Duncan: Alright…

Alejandro commands the vulture to attack the drone while Duncan tries to damage the drone with some random toys from the toy box.

Duncan: IT’S NOT WORKING.

Chef Hatchet: HEL-

Duncan: This looks familiar… (pulls out a comb and throws it at the drone but it misses and drops a cloud.

Cody: Lalalalala, I’ve been missing for the first half of the episode!

Sierra: CODYYY (pushes Cody out of danger)

Cody: That was a close one, thanks Sierra.

Sierra: No problem, you will always be a precious gem for me, Cody wody…

Cody: Awwww (tears up)

Alejandro: It’s not working! The drone is too st- Oh god…

Duncan: (laughs) That’ll flood the drone’s mechanisms! AHAHAHHAHAHAH-

(Duncan lets go of his foot, causing a surge in water blasting out of the hose. The daycare and the Drone of Despair gets destroyed as a result.

Chef Hatchet: What… just happened?

Alejandro: We saved you from that drone that Duncan used…

Duncan: Yeah… can we please… not have a time o-

Chef Hatchet: For destroying my daycare… 30 MINUTES TIMEOUT.

Alejandro: Eh, we’ll take it. That should teach us a lesson not to do prank wars like this

Duncan: Agreed, Al.

Camera suddenly zooms out to reveal the destroyed daycare

Alejandro: IT’S AL-E-HAN-DRO.

Duncan: Whatever, Al.

Chapter Text

The kids are in a bus, driving back to the daycare after a field trip to the cake factory.

Heather: Sugar.

Sugar: What, Heather?

Heather: Can I go to your farm tomorrow? I’ve got a video I need to shoot. It’s me. Making a cake replica of myself with nothing but resources I can find in your farm.

Sugar: Haven’t had visitors since the rest of them played with the farm chores instead of taking them seriously, but if you’re serious, sure!

Heather: Just teach me a few tricks on how to do them and you’ll get second bite!

Sugar: I should be get- oh. Alejandro.

Alejandro: Yes. I will always get first bite.

Heather: And that is a one way ticket to Three Guys and a Girl in a BEACH HOUSE! The most awesome YouTube series where people do crazy stunts and pranks, and weird food… and three winners of their video contest gets to special guest their NEXT VIDEO!

(shows Sugar and Alejandro the trailer)

The trailer starts.

Chase: What’s up, dudes! I’m Chase, the host for the hottest new channel in town, (in a sing-songy tune) Three Guys and a Girl in a Beach House. This is my girlfriend, Emma

Emma: Uh… hi!

Chase: And my two best friends, Ripper and Zee!

(Ripper farts excessively and Zee… just drinks a can of soda as usual)

Ripper: Aw man, I swear that would have broken the record.

Chase: We prank each other,

(shows Ripper filling in fart balloons and throwing them onto Emma)

Chase: Dare each other to eat disgusting food

(shows Emma force-feeding Ripper dried mutant maggots)

Zee: Where does milk come from

Emma: Cows. People get them by milking these droopy things and they piss out the-

(Zee barfs excessively)

Chase: AND THE BEST PART IS?! WE DO CRAZY STUNTS!

(Chase jumps off a helicopter that he is flying and lands on a fart balloon filled up by Ripper on the splits. The balloon bursts into a fart gas that covers the screen)

Chase (wearily): Be sure to like and subscribe and hit that notification bell……

(explosion noises)

Alejandro: They’re… the COOLEST

Sugar: That does not impress me-

Heather: And they said on their community post that if you post some of the best videos they have seen, they’ll invite us to their next WETUBE VIDEO!

Sugar: Sounds boring.

Heather: Y… you don’t understand-

Sugar: But if you really want that feature, sure. Just not sure if cake baking would cut i-

Heather: Yes. It. Would. That’s my best talent, aside from-

Alejandro: Yeah, it would be cool… Just better not let any of the beans spill out… (chuckles nervously)

Heather: I would be in a video with the man, CHASE, himself. Welp, the downside is Ripper… he’s a bit of a jerk.

Sugar: Deal. We help you record your video while I get my farm prim and proper for you.

Cuts to Sugar’s farm, after a major time skip.

Sugar: Ready to go, Heather?

Heather: YES!

Sugar: Lights, camera, ACTION!

Heather: Hi, Three Guys and a Girl in a Beach House, I’m Heather… and in this video, I will be making a cake replica with myself… while finding the ingredients. Yes, I got invited to my friend’s farm… and my other friends try to sabotage me as much as they can.

Alejandro: That was my idea.

Heather: Yeah… and also, the three feet radius around the kitchen counter is a safe zone where the kids are unable to enter, And now, let the baking begin… in THREE. TWO. ONE!

Heather runs off to the chicken coop as Sugar follows. The camera cuts into the chicken coop

Heather: Time to show you my sweet singing skills.

Heather sings a cutish and calm cover of "Apple" by Charli XCX, and retrieves a few eggs

Sugar: Wow, you’re really a natu-

Duncan and Scott play a cover of "It’s My Life" by Bon Jovi on a drum set and electric guitar… horribly. The chickens panic and eggs get splattered everywhere

Heather: It’s fine… I got a few eggs… unharmed. (puts it in bag)

Duncan: SHE IS PUTTING EGGS IN A BAG?

Scott: That’s… pretty smart in case someone steals them.

Heather (runs to the haybales): I may not be a farm girl but… I had some practice yesterday… now… how do I get flour from these haybales… I know…

Heather messes with the haybale maker and puts in some wheat. It only spits out smaller haybales

Heather: Dang…

Sugar: The flour making thing should be very far awa-

Heather: Oh look, a conveniently placed bag of flour! Wonder what wou- AAAAAAAAA (gets pulled by a car driven by Jude)

Jude: I don’t have a drivers license, but that is a sick ride, dude.

Heather: LET ME GOOOOOOooo (somehow gets the flour and frees herself from the car)

Jude: Wait… (listens to a walkie-talkie) there’s eggs in the bag? (makes a U-Turn)

Heather: Is the car… CHASING ME?! (screams and runs for the kitchen counter and makes it just in time)

Jude: Dang… That was close.

Heather: Phew… just gotta put it somewhere safe while I make a run for this barn full of cows.

Cuts to the barn. Heather tries to milk the cows but Beth is spraying milk at her.

Heather: THIS… looks way harder than I thought… (gets sprayed by milk)

(Heather runs for it with three buckets of milk, but is pretty slow. Owen steals one bucket of milk and drinks it, causing Heather to trip. She manages to save both of them as they land on the safe zone, but one of them loses half its milk…)

Heather: This… might not be so much of a piece of cake… since there is no chocolate around… But now that most of the stuff I can usually find are here, time for a scavenger hunt!

(Heather searches far and wide in a montage… and finds the modelling chocolate in a haybale. Heather manages to get it but gets poked by that pin in the haybale)

Heather: OW!

Owen: Modelling… chocolate.

Heather: GET AWAY FROM ME (runs for it and manages to get to the safe zone)

Heather: Now that the ingredients are complete… time to bak-

Alejandro: It won’t be easy. There are remotes hidden around that the kids can use to sabotage you.

Heather: Oh no… what are they?

Alejandro: One shakes your counter a lot, the other allows Owen to come in to "help" you and the third… shuts the oven doors for about one minute… but that should not be a (counter starts shaking) con-ceeeerrrrn

Heather: Ohhhh dddeeeeaaaar

Alejandro: It should have stopped, but it’s been nice helping you a bit… bye!

Heather: Time for the cooking… (shows off her cooking skills. She manages to prepare the batter)

Heather: Now time for th- NOOOOO, NOT THE BATTER. AND THE DOOR IS NOT OPENNNNIIIINNG

Heather forces the door open but as the shaking stops, Heather manages to open it, but due to physics, Heather gets injured by the suddenly opening door.

Meanwhile, Cody finds a remote… but falls into the haybale machine

Cody: OW! NOT AGAIN…

(Cody and the remote are stuck in the haybale while Duncan steals the remote)

Duncan: Thanks, man. EHEHEHEHHE (presses the remote)

Heather: Time to put the batter out… wait, why isn’t it opening? Oh dear…

Duncan presses every remote he could find… none of them made the counter shake. Soon, Duncan is not able to find any more remotes, forcing Heather to wait a grand total of ten minutes… Ten minutes pass and the batter comes off… burnt. Heather shrugs and tries to put in the modelling chocolate and food dyes to try and replicate her look, only for the counter to shake. Some of the cake fall off, forcing Heather to simply slap it back and smoothen it up again after the shaking. Heather is very close to finishing it… but a barking noise is heard.

Heather: Oh dear…

Owen: TIME FOR SOME CAKE!

(Owen takes a bite out of Heather’s cake as Heather constantly beats him up with a rolling pin. Owen gets knocked out as Heather tries her best to patch up the hole, with more modelling chocolate.)

Heather: AND THERE YOU GO, my cake is… done. (falls over forming an "abstract cake")

Alejandro: Uhh… wanna give me a bite?

Heather: Sure… (gives Alejandro a bite) how does it taste?

Alejandro: It has a pretty… chocolatey and burnt feel to it… but it is amazing!

Heather: And thank you for seeing my audition for the special video… and goodbye!

(recording ends)

Heather: Now, who wants a bite?

(Everyone runs to the counter and eats the Heather cake)

The next day starts in the daycare, where Heather watches Three Guys and a Girl in a Beach House’s newest video, announcing the winners of the contest.

Chase (from the phone): And the first winner is… "I Tamed a Dragon Girl".

Heather: WHAT?

Sugar: Oh that Dragon Girl always gets on my nerves.

Chase (from the phone): And our two runner ups… are…

(Heather gets anxious)

Chase (from the phone): A reupload of Courtney’s viral video… and a Day in the Life video… uploaded by the SNOW OWLS? We’ve got the winners!

Cuts outside the daycare

Heather: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Chapter Text

The episode starts in Chef’s office. Chef takes a sip of his "Rainbow Juice", before glumly drinking the rest of it.

Jude: Dude, what happened, brah? Ya feeling ok?

Chef Hatchet: Not really… I don’t know what happened to… my RAINBOW JUICE! It’s less energetic, colourful and magical that it used to be…

Jude: Can I take a sip… you might need a second opinion.

Chef Hatchet: Fine…

(Jude takes a sip)

Jude: You’re right… something feels a bit… off with the juice.

Izzy: Oh, I’LL TELL YOU WHAT’S OFF.

Chef Hatchet: Izzy? What are you doing here?

Izzy: Let’s talk about that later… you know, you must have done something pretty bad to the barista. I made too many funny faces while wating for a latte in MoonBucks, and little did I know, I pissed the barista off. And instead of the latte I was supposed to get… I got… DECAF!

(Chef Hatchet and Jude gasp in horror)

Izzy: So, there’s your solution. Make up with the barista that you order what’s clearly not Rainbow Juice.

Chef Hatchet: I don’t know what happened… that made me get this disgusting brown Rainbow Juice variant.

Jude: It’s decaf, brah.

(Chef Hatchet screams in horror)

Izzy: I would suggest a flashback. It always jogs the memories much better.

Chef Hatchet: Fine. Cue the flashbacks…

A flashback starts. Chef orders a Rainbow Juice from MacArthur

MacArthur: Fine… one Rainbow Juice comi-

Chef Hatchet: Can you make it the limited edition… UNICORN MAGIC edition, comes with extra shots of caffiene.

MacArthur: We don’t have that… ever since these two used up all the stock.

The camera shows Chase and Ripper recording themselves… drinking loads of the special edition Rainbow Juice

Chef Hatchet: Well… I haven’t tasted the juice and I WANT THAT LIMITED EDITION.

MacArthur: Sorry, but-

Chef Hatchet: Might as well beg them to g-

MacArthur: Beg them… to give you the SPECIAL RAINBOW JUICE THEY PAID WITH THEIR ALLOWANCES? oh you’re not getting your RAINBOW JUICE BUD, you’re getting… DECAF. Oh crud… there goes that middle-aged man.

(Chef Hatchet is with Chase and Ripper, trying to convince them to hand them the special edition Rainbow Juice)

Chef Hatchet: I’ll pay you… six dollars.

Chase: No.

Chef Hatchet:… seven do-

Ripper: Go away. Your ugly face is covering the screen.

Chef Hatchet: J-

Chase: Looks like you’ve got an extra special Rainbow Juice just for you!

Chef Hatchet:… OH BOY! I GOT AN EVEN MORE SPECIAL RAINBOW JUICE! (squeals in happiness as he runs to the counter to retrieve the "Rainbow Juice".

Flashback ends

Chef Hatchet: Wait… it’s not Rainbow Juice? IT’S DECAF?! Those darn kids got away with it!

Izzy: Serves you right, you were really rude to them.

Chef Hatchet: A man just WANTS HIS SPECIAL RAINBOW JUICEeee… (fake cries)

Heather: (walks in) …you can stop your fake crying.

Chef Hatchet glares at Heather

Chef Hatchet: REALLY?

Heather: You deserve to get decaf instead of your usual Rainbow Juice… because you tried to TAKE AWAY THEIR RAINBOW JUICES. You don’t even teach them!

Chef Hatchet: WHAT?

Heather: WORST OF ALL? THEY’RE LITERALLY CHASE AND RIPPER. I really look up to them a lot… and YOU HAD TO ANNOY THEM INTO GIVING YOU THEIR RAINBOW JUICE!

Beth: Calm down, Heather… let’s just watch some Bananas and Cheese instead…

Heather: Fine…

Beth: Or you can help make things right with Chase and Ripper… while helping Chef redeem herself in the barista’s eyes!

Heather: That’s a BETTER IDEA! Let’s go!

Beth: I’ll drive the car!

Chef Hatchet: NO! Not my car-

(Cuts to inside the car)

Chef Hatchet: Why can’t you let the owner of the car… and the only adult to drive the car?

Beth: Alejandro drove under the influence.

Chef Hatchet: NO HE DID NOT DRIVE UNDER THE INFLUENCE. THAT WASN’T EVEN A REAL C-

Beth: Too late, we’re already driving!

Jude: This ride is sick, dude!

Izzy: I can feel the crashing and tires flying and chaos and FIRE.

Heather: Uhh… this is a little… too dark.

(Beth crashes into the same cafe from S1E2 - Duck Duck Juice)

Chef Hatchet: MY CAR!

MacArthur: And great, you can say goodbye to your loyalty stars.

Chef Hatchet: BETH DROVE IT.

MacArthur: Whatever, take accountability for your students next time, I’ll let that one pass.

(Beth smirks at Chef Hatchet)

Chef Hatchet: Great. Now I might have screwed up my only chance at redemption… I’m sure I can prevent myself from a life of decaf.

Chase: What… was that?

Ripper: That car crash… was EPIC!

Chase: Hell yeah, dude!

Beth: Hi! I’m the one who crashed the car. (smiles)

Ripper: You… drove the car? That. was. AWESOME!

Chase: You’d definitely be a great guest on our channel… but our slots are filled unfortunately. We’d find you some time to- wait… is that?

Heather: Yes. The one that failed… to make a cake replica of myself.

Chase: Eh, you were pretty close because of your friends in the mix. And oh boy, I loved to rewatch that scene where you fell down because of the oven door over and over again.

Heather: Oh boy…

Chase: But the dragon fight and the bounce house incident was way cooler. And Ripper has a thing about farts… that appeared a lot in the Snow Owls vid.

Heather: I lost… to farting? WHAT?! But I’ll have another shot. Beth is guaranteeing me 15 minutes of fame.

Chase: You’re already popular… you’re literally on the biggest TV show for kids. Ever.

Beth: But let’s get to the point… we’re sorry that our teacher had to almost take away your Rainbow Juice.

Chase: It’s ok… everyone would die for a cup… wanna have one? Comes with an autograph.

Heather: OMG, YES!

Heather: I’d still pick Alejandro over Chase. I know, he’s cool and all-

Chase: Alejandro’s way cooler… he’s literally travelled everywhere. I would love to see him in a special video. (goes closer) And I follow an AleHeather blog.

Chase: But, the barista is hard to please… especially with your daycare’s spotty track record with her. She destroyed the daycare… she almost stopped because of Cody.

Cody: Cody is m- (gets farted on by Ripper and faints)

Ripper: One steamboat, two steamboat… (counts in steamboats)

Heather: WHAT HAPPENS AT TEN?

Beth: I DON’T KNOW

Jude: IT’S GONNA BLOW!

Ripper: (stops farting) Aw man, I swear that could’ve broke the record.

Izzy: What is it, Ripper? Tell us…

Ripper: I always wanted to break the record for the longest fart held… it’s 49 seconds. I came close at 48.

Izzy: No way! Can you fart the alphabet too?

Ripper: Of course!

Izzy: I can also burp the alphabet

(Izzy and Ripper burp and fart the alphabet respectively and consecutively, disgusting almost everyone)

Beth: Eh, men.

Heather: Izzy’s a girl and… we’re here to prevent Chef from getting a life of decaf coffee…

Chase: That… would be pretty hard. Chef would have to do tons of things for MacArthur.

MacArthur: I can help you redeem yourself and get your Rainbow Juice streak back… but it would cost you a lot of favours.

Chef Hatchet: Uh oh, this ain’t good…

MacArthur: You want your Rainbow Juice or NOT?

Chef Hatchet: I want the Rainbow Juice.

MacArthur: That’s what I’d like to hear. First up, clean… the hole your students made. I’ll grab them a nice cup of Rainbow Juice

Jude: RAINBOW JUICEEEE

Izzy: OHOHOHOHOHO-

Beth and Heather: Oh crud…

Beth: I had a bad experience with kids drinking Rainbow Juice… it was two but now four? Oh boy… my friends aren’t even there!

Izzy: So, Chase, I dare you to drink… THREE CUPS OF RAINBOW JUICE AT ONCE! Not just that… I Triple. Dog. Dare you.

Chase gets transported to the same realm everyone goes when they get triple dog dared. The cerberus rolls his eyes.

Chase: I’d take the usual…

Cerberus: Good. The McDermots are as boring… as usual.

The McDermots: Let’s watch two snails race each other… best experience of our lives…

Chase gets transported back.

Chase: And… Heather.

Heather: What?

Chase: I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU… to drink one cup of it. Just one cup…

Heather gets transported to the realm.

Cerberus: You have been triple dog dared. You can choose to accept the dare or live… with the McDermots.

The McDermots: Wheeeeee

Heather: Oh boy, that is so interesting of them.

Cerberus: And if you don't accept the dare, you will be stuck here… forever.

Heather: I accept.

Heather gets transported back

(Heather and Chase drink the Rainbow Juice)

Izzy: Well, we know how that one would go

Jude: Yeah, dudette. By the time Chef cleans up all their messes, it would be way past pickup time. Heck, we’d be 16. Ain’t that right, 16 year old Jude?

16 year old Jude: Nope. Chef’s still cleaning.

16 year old Heather: Still… need… more… juice. (drops onto the floor)

Jude: Oh boy…

(Heather and Chase finish drinking the Rainbow Juice)

Jude: And that… is called a "super sugar rush".

Chase: Not bad, Heather… Heather?

Heather: I don’t… feel so good… (flies off in a sugar rush)

Chase: She’s a first-timer. That happened when I first drank Rainbow Juice a few years back.

Beth: Me and Chase will get Heather. The rest, watch Chef Hatchet.

Chase: On it.

(Beth and Chase make a run for Heather)

Chef Hatchet: Is there any more chores… I have to do…?

MacArthur: Yup. You finished most of them… except… you know what, if you manage to save Heather from that sugar rush from the Rainbow Juice, you’ll not have to fear the dreaded DECAF. And you’re timed… five minutes.

Izzy: This has turned into an episode about redemption… to saving someone from a sugar rush.

Jude: A shocker, if you ask me.

Ripper: Am I the only one that do-

Izzy: You’re coming with us!

Ripper: Fine.

Chef Hatchet: I’m coming, Heather!

Heather is flying through the kitchen.

Chase: You take left, I take right.

Beth: On it.

Chase: I got H- (misses) Aw dang it…

Beth: I think I go- (misses) I missed it… and she’s gone.

Chase: After her!

Beth and Chase exit the room only to run into Chef and the other kids

Chef Hatchet: We need to find Heather under four minutes or-

Ripper: He’s screwed for life!

Beth: I think she went… (hears the screaming in another restaurant, somehow) …that way.

The kids enter the other restaurant. Heather is flying here and there, with hardly any signs of slowing down.

Beth: This is getting really bad…

Jude: Worst part is? We can’t- (ducks when Heather flies past him) stop her!

Chase: (thinks for a while) English or Spanish.

(it doesn’t work)

Chef Hatchet: OH SHOOT WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TI-

Beth: Wanna play a game?

Heather: What? (falls) What game is it? Tell me tell me TELL ME!

Beth: I brought along this card game that involves drinking…

Heather: Drinking… RAINBOW JUICE? YES!

Beth: Let’s get you back in the cafe to play the game…

Chase: Can I join in?

Beth: Sure… Everyone can play it!

Cuts back to the cafe

Chef Hatchet: Heather’s safe and sound.

MacArthur: That’s great to hear. Here, a cup of Rainbow Juice for you… now you don’t have to worry about getting… DECAF.

(Chef Hatchet screams in horror)

(Cuts outside)

MacArthur: Huh, could get used to this.

Chapter Text

The episode starts in a beach house

Chase: Welcome to Three Guys and a Girl in a Beach House! I’m your host, Chase, and we’re in for a very special episode! We’ve invited five people into the beach house for the first time! This is gonna be good…

Emma: Uhh… don’t you think stuffing Ripper in a closet to fart on them is a bad id-

Chase: It’s gonna be funny, trust me. Nothing can possibly go wr-

(doorbell)

Emma: They’re here!

(Camera cuts to the door)

Emma: Come in…

(Wayne and Raj hit Emma with the door by accident)

Wayne: We. ARE IN. A LIVESTREAM? Best day of our lives! Isn’t that right, Rajie?

Raj: We’re gonna be big on WeTube, Wayner… and- (hears angelic singing)

Ella: Hi guys! So, what games do we have here?

Chase: Woah, is that the Dragon Girl from that video?

Ella: My reputation of being a pretty princess plummeted since Miss Four Year Old but who cares? Aside from being a pretty and charming lady, I am also probably the coolest princess because of my little secret…

Dave: Yeah… Is there any safety checks done on the beach house?

Chase: (laughs before abruptly stopping)

Dave: …what?

Chase: Wait… are you serious?

Dave: YES-

Chase: Absolutely none. Zip, Naught, Nada.

Dave: That is clearly IRRESPONSIBLE OF Y-

Chase: You signed up for this. You’re in for the rest of the episode.

Courtney: Hi…!

Chase: And we have our first runner-up, Courtney! Famous for-

Courtney: My completely safe and responsible toy reviews, yay

Chase:… that flopped hard on WeTube. She’s more well-known for doing a cool bounce house stunt that got her banned… because she’s THIS EPIC!

Courtney: Yeah… that.

Chase: Anyways we’ve got our special guests ready to roll.

Emma: That was rather a… surprisingly fast intro… yeah…

Chase: What? I always get intros fas-

Emma: You spent thirty hours a week making a cool intro for our videos, that leave the rest of it cheaply edited.

Chase: Don’t blame me, I still need the intro to be epic to hook fans up! Just look at them…

Courtney: Uhm, where is the dining room? It’s lunch time…

Chase: That’s the first part of this livestream! And… there are two hallways right in front of you… if I were you, I would go on the one on the right.

Courtney: Thanks…

Courtney: HAH! There is something clearly placed on the right! So I’m gonna do the smart thing and pick… left!

Ella: Dave, let’s go right since our dear host Chase told us to go that way…

Dave: There… could be pranks left on the right hallway… I’m going left.

Ella: Suit myself, my dear prince. (sings and walks to the right)

Wayne: You know, I think the right side is the best side.

Raj: Yeah. Let’s go down this hallway.

Cuts to a hallway.

Courtney: Huh, I was right. There really is no pranks left the-

Dave: Well, I called it first!

Courtney: NO I DID!

(Courtney and Dave argue and get farted on by Ripper, hiding in a broom closet)

Dave: GAH!

Courtney: WHAT?

Chase (from far away): See (chuckles a bit), that’s why I told you to go to the right hallway.

Cuts to the other hallway.

Wayne: Huh, there really are no pranks ther-

Raj: What is this… (slips and falls) dang it.

(Ella sings and flies above the scum)

Wayne: Huh, that thing is slippy like ice… we can skate on it!

Wayne and Raj skate on the scum

Raj: GO, Snow Owls

Wayne: Headed right to the b- 

Raj: WATCH O- (hits a door alongside Wayne)

Ella: You guys ok?

Wayne: Yeah… thanks, princess…

Dave: So, this is where the first part of the livestream is being held? Huh, wonder what they are doin-

Chase: Welcome to the dining room, well because every house has one. The kitchen…

(Cuts to the kitchen. Fire is everywhere and it looks burnt and low quality. Cuts back to the dining room)

Chase: We don’t… talk about that.

Courtney: WHAT? You burnt down your kitchen? Sounds plausible, we’re all four years old! How did you survive?

Chase: I don’t know, plot armour I guess?

Courtney: So you literally fake your vi-

Chase: WHAT? No. They’re 100% legit and livestreamed. Live-streamed, not pre-recorded. Plus editing is pretty low quality and it looked super real so it has to be real.

Zee: Hey guys, so these are the WeTube stars you invited?

Wayne and Raj: WeTube stars?

Dave: It is full of irresponsible people… they can just eat tide pods just for v-

Chase: We’ve returned some of your favourite disgusting foods for our guests to try! First up, tide pods!

Courtney: TIDE PODS? WHAT?

Chase: Just kidding, we’d never eat detergent. That’s for the degenerates.

Courtney: Phew…

Chase: We’re eating pizza!

Wayne: Pizza?

Raj: Best day ever!

Ella: I don’t mind some pizza… right, my loyal knight?

Dave: Yeah…

Courtney: Eh, it better be c-

Chase: Topped with jellyfish, grasshopper and live anchovies!

Emma: Not that… why did you have to return it?

Chase: The viewers like it…

Ripper: Grasshopper pizza? NOT THAT AGAIN. THAT’S ENJOYED ONLY BY PSYCHOPA-

(Zee eats a slice of pizza without effort)

Chase: See, he likes it.

Ripper: …He’s an exception. He barfs whenever he thinks about milk.

(Zee barfs because of what Ripper said)

Courtney: ewwwww…

Wayne: Huh, seems pre- AAAAA. SPICY!

Chase: Did I forget… there is a lot of hot sauce in it.

Emma: That is exactly why I HATE THAT PIZZA.

Courtney: It’s uhh… it got this little kick… you know, the live anchovies.

Ella: Live… anchovies? Did I… kill fish? I’m so sorry little ones…

Dave: She does not like eating live food.

Raj: Is there any more pizza… I love the pizza.

Chase: We’ve go- oh. we… ran out of it. But it is okay… we’ve got another fan favourite out of the way… wiggle fries!

(A plate full of french fries and maggots is shown to the viewers)

Dave: They ruined… french fries?

Courtney: THIS HAS TO BE A CRIME.

Chase: (whisper) Don’t tip me off to the FDA…

Wayne: Uhh… (eats a fry)

Raj: Get away from me, GET AWAY FROM ME! (shakes maggots off his french fry)

Courtney: Ewww… (eats the fry)… AAAAAA (spits it out)

Chase: Looks like our guests really love you guy’s most favourite disgusting dish! Nice…

Emma: You mean they hate it?

Dave: AAAAAAAAAAAA (crashes onto a wall)

Ella: Oh… go off my little friends, you won’t wanna get eaten… (it works as she eats the french fries effortlessly)

(Everyone except Ella panics)

Chase: And we never forget a cool stunt in every livestream, and speaking of which, it is time for it!

Cuts to the rooftop with a rope tethered to a telephone line. Everyone is on a slightly undersized unicycle with Dave riding it.

Dave: Uhh, is this thing safe?

Chase: Of course not! And to top it off, we’ve got a bull to chase this unicycle, topped with a red cape.

Wayne: Is it me, or is this aggressive black thing headed…

Raj: TOWARDS US?

Courtney: LET’S GO!

Dave: WHO THOUGHT OF T-

Courtney: PEDAL!

(Dave pedals)

Cuts to the downtown

Zee: Dude, is this angry bull still chasing us? How did we even make it angry ini the first place?

Chase: Honestly, I don’t know how we managed to get it here, let alone anger it.

Dave: NO TALKING, MORE SLOWING THAT BULL DOWN!

Ella: What did we even do to the bull?

Courtney: I HONESTLY DON’T KN-

Wayne: WATCH OUT!

(The unicycle destroys Chef’s car)

Chef Hatchet: MY CAR!

Courtney: Is it more is Chef becoming more of a gimmick character instead of the teacher we know and love?

Wayne: And why is she dating Ms Norris?

Raj: We thought coach is dating her?

Wayne: But… he’s already married.

Raj: Love is pretty… confusi-

Dave: SLOW THE GODDAMN BULL DOWN!

Courtney: AND HOW?

Emma: IDK? ALL I’M DOING IS RECORDING THAT STUNT!

Ripper: I’ll speed us up! and SOMEONE HAS TO CHECK WIKIHOW ON HOW TO SLOW IT DOWN! (farts intensively)

Ripper: I’m going for both potency and length. That’ll make that weird furry [bleep] disgusted and blind… right?

Courtney: I would normally be grossed out but WE NEED TO SURVIVE!

Wayne: Anything, Rajie?

Raj: I’m trying to find something, Wayn- I FOUND SOMETHING!

Wayne: What is it?

Raj: Create a decoy to distract the bull from the go-

Dave and Courtney: SPEAK ENGLISH!

Wayne: Throw the CAPE TO DISTRACT IT!

Courtney: Alright. (throws the cape but it does not work)

Chase: HOW DID THAT NOT WORK?

Courtney: BULLS CAN’T SEE RED. THEY DON’T HAVE THE C-

Ripper: Blah blah blah, I don’t understand nerd.

(Zee pops two sodas in an attempt to speed the unicycle. It only works for a short while)

Ripper: Now that’s what I’m talking about… and we’ve ran out of soda.

Courtney (looks at the phone): HARD LEFT!

(Dave turns the unicycle a hard left. The bull abruptly stops and follows the unicycle)

Emma: It works! But… the bull is still after us!

Chase: Uhh… we’re about to hit an anima-

Courtney: HARD LEFT!

(Dave turns left)

Chase: Phew. Who knew what could’ve happened if we hit the animal hospital…

(Emma glares at Chase)

Courtney: We need to find a way to stop it PERMANENTLY! Not delay it!

Wayne: I managed to sneak some pucks in!

Raj: Let’s throw them at the bull! That’ll stop it in its tracks!

(Wayne throws the pucks but they all miss)

Wayne: Wow, what a sieve.

Dave: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. MY LEGS ARE TIRED.

Emma: ELLA! Do something about it!

Ella: Alright. (sings a song that calms the bull)

They may have angered you and kept you there but it’s ok.

If you chase us, then two wrongs don’t make a right…

The more you throw your fit at us the more you won’t be satisfied.

Because the thing that would help you sooth your soul is for them (points at Chase) to apologize!

Emma: Wow, that’s a great song!

Ella: Thank me later. At least we’re safe. Go on, little bull…

(The bull walks away)

Emma: Can I close the livestream?

Chase: Sure, babe.

Emma: That livestream was pretty… EPIC! But unfortunately, we have to close it because of several… technical difficulties. But, as always, be sure to like and subscribe to (everyone sings along) Three Guys and a Girl in a Beach House

Emma:… and be sure to hit that notification bell for more LIVESTREAMS!

Chapter Text

Chef Hatchet: What? Where am I?

Duncan: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? I ONLY PUT ROCKETS ON THE BUS.

Immigration officer: 日本へようこそ。パスポートを提示し、日本領空への不法入国に対する罰金630,000円をお支払いください。

Alejandro: (passes two passports) ほら、俺とプリヤのパスポート。他のはよくわからないけど

Chef Hatchet: SPEAK ENGLISH, PLEASE.

Immigration officer: Pay a fine of 630000 yen and hand us your passports. You’ve entered Japan airspace illegally.

Chef Hatchet: DUNCAN, what did you do?

Duncan: I wanted the bus to explode midway. I didn’t want to go on a field trip to some boring ramen factory.

Chef Hatchet: AND THANKS TO YOU, WE’RE 6000 MILES AWAY FROM HOME!

Duncan: Don’t blame me!

Courtney: This is impossible? Where is my passports?

Duncan: Who in the right mind would bring them to SCHOOL?

Priya: I got the 630000 yen you need!

Duncan: And who in the right mind brings foreign currency to school?

Alejandro: Always be prepared, dancy pants, always be prepared.

Duncan: HEY!

Heather: Can we please stay in Japan for 48 hours pleaseeee. We’ll return to our home country as soon as possible, (cute tone) お願いします…

Immigration officer: …わかった、でも戻ってきた方がいい。君の...「航空機」の修理を手伝うよ

Cuts inside Haneda Airport Terminal 1-2 station

Alejandro: Welcome to Japan, mi amigos! Or should I say, 俺の友人?

Duncan: I hardly understand what you said in both sentences, but HEY! We’re not in school, so extra points for me!

Leshawna: Japan has never seen someone as beautiful as me!

Heather: Speak for yourself, peasant

Leshawna: HEY, don’t call me that, skinny rich girl wannabe.

Sierra: Great to experience the autumn season in Japan with my Cody-Wody (hugs Cody tight)!!!… and Lightning.

Lightning: sha-YEAH! Tokyo, here we GO!

Harold: Is this… JAPAN? The home of the ninja? THIS IS EXCITING!

Noah: Wow, train times better not disappoint me like always.

Owen: I can’t wait to taste all the food they have!

Priya: This is just like the first time I experienced the buzzing city life of Japan!

Chef Hatchet: Now now, kids. I know we’re essentially having a day off but we’re in an unfamiliar place. It will be dangerous.

Alejandro: Pfft, we’re not just any four year olds, Chef. We’ll be fine.

Duncan: And I don’t want to explore a taste of freedom without someone breathing down my neck.

PA system: 品川行きの電車が到着しました。

Alejandro: There’s our train! Better get on if you wanna see Japan.

Duncan: And how are we supposed to get the-

Alejandro: Take the Yamanote Line to… WE DIDN’T DO ANY ACCOMODATIO-

Duncan: WHO CARES?

Alejandro: But we need to sleep. They said 48 hours-

Duncan: Why is it still daytime?

Alejandro: Welcome to Japan. 13 hours and ten thousand kilometers away from h-

Duncan: WHAT THE [bleep] IS A KILOMETER?!

(Everyone glares at Duncan for being too rude)

Duncan: WHAT?

(Duncan gets kicked out of the train at Tenkubashi station)

Duncan: THIS AIN’T FAIR!

PA system: このホームには空港特急列車が通過します。An airport limited express train will be passing through this platform.

Duncan: NOOOOOOooo!

Time skip, camera cuts to Shinagawa station

Alejandro: I got some accommodation at… let’s see… Mimaru Tokyo Ueno E-

(Another train arrives, revealing an angry Duncan)

Duncan: THANKS FOR ABANDONING ME AT THAT STATION!

Owen: Hey buddy, are you o-

Courtney: Calm down, Duncan. We’ll ge- (gets punched in the face by Duncan)

Alejandro: There is one family rule that I would gladly uphold everywhere I go. Not the face. And Duncan BROKE IT.

Courtney: What is up with Duncan today? He finally escaped the daycare, why isn’t he happy about it?

Harold: Time to show Japan my NINJA SKILLS! (hits himself with a nunchuck)

Noah: Great, we’re stuck in Japan because of Duncan. But at least we get a free holiday.

Duncan:…THIS AIN’T FUNNY.

Duncan: You better have a good reason why you-

Alejandro: Easy. You-

Duncan: AAAAAAAAAAA-

Chef Hatchet: We’re in Japan! Don’t make a fuss about it, and let’s play a game of Eye Spy instead!

Duncan: MY TURN! I spy with my little eye, something that is STUPID!

Alejandro: Is it… me?

Duncan: OF COURSE IT’S YOU, DOOFUS!

Alejandro: Doo…fus? [swears in Spanish]

Priya: Save the fighting for when we’re back home. We don’t want to look immature during our 2 day stay in Japan.

Duncan: Fine.

Alejandro: Alright. Best save up all the energy in Tokyo!

Heather: Watch out, Japan. Me and my honey bu-

Alejandro: Mi amor, please don’t call me that.

Heather: Alright.

Alejandro: Also, our ride is here!

(Everyone cheers and unknowingly step on Cody, except Sierra)

Sierra: It’s alright… let’s get you back up and we’ll see Tokyo together. Right, my baby booboo bear?

Cody: Right, Sierra… Thanks…

Cuts to a room in the hotel

Lightning: A Pokemon themed room? Now that, is cool.

Duncan: So I share a room… with a Pokemon fan?

Lightning: Don’t judge m-

Duncan: THAT. IS AWESOME!

Lightning: Happen to have any… Pokemon cards to play with? I got a few decks we can play with!

Duncan:…I BROUGHT MINE TOO!

(Lightning and Duncan have some fun as Courtney watches)

Courtney: Ah yes, men.

Cody: I love hotel rooms!

Sierra: I wish every day could be like this…

Cuts to another room

Owen: Aaaaaahhh

Harold: This is the life…

Priya: This looks… alright… The bathtub is pretty cle-

Leshawna: How do they get the cool room while we sit in the boring room?

Noah: Thanks, for not noticing I was missing for a few minute- What… is this?

(Alejandro and Heather kiss on the beds)

Noah: I will never… unsee this. Owen, hide me.

Owen: On it (sits on Noah)

Noah: Not… like this

Cuts to yet, another room.

Chef Hatchet: Ah, a room all to myself… just lik-

?: Do you scream in your sleep…?

(Chef Hatchet screams)

Cuts to the lobby

Harold: We’re off for some sightseeing!

Receptionist: That’s great to hear… where’s your parents?

Harold: Oh, they’re… 6400 miles away from us. And our teacher is relaxing in his room.

Receptionist: How did you get here?

Duncan: I wanted to explode the bus, but I accidentally turned it into a wish.com airplane! And here we are, stuck in Japan.

Receptionist: That’s… interesting. Have a safe trip~!

(The kids exit the hotel and go their separate ways while Chef still relaxes in the room)

Courtney: Hey guys, wanna go somewhere amazing?

Duncan: Meh, you have pretty mediocre standards for "amazing".

Courtney: I’ll play some Pokemon cards with you if you tag along…

Duncan: Whatever, this better be worth my time.

(Cuts to the CupNoodles Factory)

Duncan:…THIS IS NOT WORTH MY TIME.

Cuts to a train

Leshawna: So, there is this place called Akihabara… where people cosplay as their favourite characters…

Heather: You know what this means…

Priya: MAKEOVER!

Harold (in his karate uniform): Fret not, my friends. Ninja Harold is he-

Heather: Shut up, dweeb. You’re ruining the atmosphere.

PA system: 秋葉原駅に到着しました. You have arrived at Akihabara station.

Priya: Time for some shopping and cosplaying!

Cuts outside Senso-ji.

Noah: I always wanted to go to the Gundam Factory, but it closed…

Owen: Is Gundam a food?

Noah: NO. Gundam is NOT A FOOD.

Owen: Where are we?

Noah: This should be a very popular temple. See, there is a large crowd, so people would naturally build up some- and there he goes.

Owen: Can I please have some of these gummy balls?

Noah: (Drags Owen away) Apologies for him cutting the… queue.

(Camera cuts inside Senso-ji, near the O-mikuji station.)

Noah: (shakes a box and a stick comes out) Hmmm… 23… Let’s see… There is a sense of ambiguity with your career choice. Think carefully about your future. Huh, seems a bit too adult-ish. Your turn, big-O!

Owen: (pays a fee and does the same thing as Noah and a stick comes out) It says… what number is it?

Noah: It is 57.

Owen: 57… let me get my fortune… a pigeon will eat your snack- HELP, A BIRD IS SNIFFING MY POCKETS! AAAAAA

Cuts back to the CupNoodles Factory, this time, in a fun design your own CupNoodles station.

Duncan: AHAHAHAHHAHAHA. (laughs at what he drew on his cup)

Lightning: This seems fun…

Courtney: It has to look… perfect… GAH! Why can’t I get this right…

Lightning: It’s ok, Court. Sometimes, perfection may not be the best thing for something, and we should get going soon, someone wants a turn. A lot of them.

Courtney: Alright, fine. But please don’t tell me it looks b-

Lightning: How did you… do this? It’s so beautiful…

Duncan: Classic Courtney. She’d make something that is already perfect and would be like "oooh it’s not perfect enough".

(Courtney puts the exact ingredients for mushroom chicken Cup Noodles. Duncan does an outrageous combination. Lightning, picks a seafood CupNoodles, with a bit of protein-based toppings. The kids are mesmerized by the manufacturing process)

Duncan: This is really awesome, Courtney!

Courtney: See, this is worth your time after all.

Duncan: Thanks, girl. Now, wanna learn how to play some Pokemon cards?

Courtney: Sure… but you know, I’m feeling a bit hungry now…

Duncan: It’s getting late… we better be heading back.

Cuts to the nighttime, in Akihabara. It’s raining.

Leshawna: Well, that’s a shame. It’s actually held on tomorrow.

Priya: But look on the bright side, guys… We got the costumes. And one for Alejandro because you kept begging me to get them, Heather.

Heather: What? Anyways, let‘s go back. My honey bee is waiting for me.

Meanwhile, in a ramen shop

Noah: Ah yes, the perfect place for a ramen dinner

Alejandro (whispers): You know, this restaurant is best enjoyed in silence.

Owen: OOOH, how do we order?

Noah: You need to fill up a form on what ramen you would like, and then you pass it. There are also these wooden blocks to alert the staff on what you need.

Owen: Thanks, buddy.

Sierra: Say cheese, guys!

Everyone smiles for the camera and proceeds to eat their ramen.

The camera zooms out and rises to the sky. The next day starts, at the Pokemon TCG lounge at Shibuya

Duncan: So first, you draw seven cards, and put them in your hand. Then, you draw six more cards and place them as prize cards… And you need to find "basic" Pokemon as the "active" one. You can only get the stronger ones through evolution, usually.

Courtney: Ok…

Duncan: And if you don’t have an active Pokemon left, or I take all my prize cards, I win.

Courtney: Let’s begin- What is this?

Duncan: Looks like Lightning’s going head to head with another kid at Pokemon cards.

Courtney: Best focus on i-

Duncan: Lightning’s unstoppable at this game… but looks like he’s met his match.

Lightning: Kilowattrel, use sha-THUNDER LANCE!

Raihan: Ok… how many electric-type energy is attached to your Kilowattrel EX?

Lightning: Let’s see… (counts the cards)

Courtney: Let’s get on with a few games and cut to three hours later.

Three hours are over

Courtney: These guys are still at it!

Background character: They’re at 12-12! They’re literally killing it.

Duncan: They’re really… great at it.

Raihan: Duraludon, use G-MAX PULVERISATION!

Lightning: Dang it. (puts his Incineroar V into the discard pile as Raihan draws rest of his prize cards)

Raihan: Good game, man. Hey, what’s your name?

Lightning: Name’s Lightning. His goal, to be the greatest… in everything!

Raihan: I always look for a friend like you, name’s Raihan.

Lightning: Nice… you kinda remind me of the Pokemon character of the same name…

Raihan: Just a coincidence. Also, where are you from?

Lightning: Born in San Diego, currently living in Toronto.

Raihan: Nice, I live in London. Probably around the West Bank…

Lightning: We should swap phone numbers. So we can like… call each other through ThatsApp?

Raihan: That is a great idea, but first (takes out a phone and takes a wefie)

Cuts to Akihabara at night, this time, it is actually not raining, and in some convention centre. Heather, Leshawna, Priya and Alejandro dress up as Sailor Moon, Sailor Mercury, Sailor Mars and Tuxedo Mask respectively.

Heather: We look so brat in these costumes, of course we’re winning this. And there’s our class ninja.

Leshawna: Hi, Harold.

Harold: Hi guys!

Priya: You look amazing in this outfit. But…

Harold: I was busy taking a one-time karate lesson on the other side of the road. Anyways, meet my newest friend, Tom!

Tom: Hi… 

Alejandro: He looks… super cool. And pretty casual.

Tom: You know it. Managed to beat your friend, Harold in a few karate matches.

Harold: Best part is? He lives right next to you, Alejandro!

Alejandro: That’s pretty coo-

Heather: Wanna take some photos in the photo booth?

?: Can I play with your skulls for playtime?

Heather: GET AWAY FROM ME!

Tom: Wh…Who is this?

?: Your… cute walking nightmare… (squeals)

Alejandro: The presentation is starting, let’s put on a skit and win the prize!

Harold: Good luck, guys! Tom, let’s go see our friends rock. this. competition!

Tom: Never been to one of these competitions before, but if they win, I know that I live right next to a cosplay competition winner. I’m coming with ya, Harold!

(The kids botch a skit, and get pretty low scores in the competition)

MacArthur: And now, it’s time to announce the winners of the cosplay competition. Come to think of it, I wonder why I showed up here in the first place! And the winners are… these two!

(Two background characters celebrate)

Harold: Well that’s a shame.

Tom: At least they tried…

Heather: NOOOOOOOO (screams as the camera pans upwards into a train)

Alejandro: Well, 2 days in Japan, didn’t really get to explore other parts of it, sadly…

Priya: Don’t fret, Alejandro. We’ll see them soon… again.

Alejandro: Our stop is here! Let’s go!

Lightning: Well, Japan was fun while it lasted. Hey guys… what are you guys doing here?

Raihan: We figured you’re returning home, so I thought maybe we can see you off?

Tom: It’s what friends do for each other.

Harold: Thanks guys, anyways… Tom, wanna go on a playdate once we’re back at home?

Tom: Uhh… sure! Can’t wait to play with you soon!

Harold: Wait, I haven’t gave you my address.

Tom: Right… wanna swap addresses?

Harold: Sure, [censored address]

Raihan: Anyways, turns out, we’re going home one week later. And once I go to Canada, I’ll be sure to drop by your daycare for a visit.

Lightning: Thanks, man. Anyways, I can’t wait to see you soon!

Chef Hatchet: KIDS! Let’s go. Our school bus should be repaired… and registered in the airspace.

Raihan: What…?

Duncan: I don’t really understand what he said but, you’re pretty cool. Can’t wait to see you again.

Cody: BYE GUYS!

Sierra: They’ll come… even though we haven’t met them yet… We’ll get to know them better once they come.

(The kids and Chef Hatchet say goodbye to Raihan and Tom and enter the airport)

Raihan: Wanna watch some Total DramaRama? Our new friends are inside the show!

Tom: Eh, why not. It’ll be fun getting to know our friends better.

Chapter Text

(a new Aftermath intro is cued)

The camera cuts to Geoff and Bridgette sitting on a makeshift bench in the daycare, which takes a more talk-show like atmosphere.

Geoff: Welcome to Total DramaRama Aftermath! I’m Geoff.

Bridgette: And I’m Bridgette.

Geoff: And we’re here every few episodes to give you the scoop for everything Total DramaRama.

Bridgette: Live from the daycare!

(music is cued)

Geoff: Man, I really missed this daycare, ever since I graduated… but some production studio asked me to return for a new episode format because, they accidentally keyed in 56 episodes?

Bridgette: I immediately asked to host it, after all, four guaranteed episodes of focus. That’s way better than a pity episode!

Geoff: And hardly anyone was interested in hosting it. So they reached out, and my parents were like "Geoff, dude, you better get on this show! It’s gonna make you big!" And I did… but I’m really into surfing, really.

Bridgette: I always borrow surfing magazines from the library whenever I visit them.

Geoff: Nice, dude. Anyways, we’ll start this Aftermath by interviewing one special guest. He’s the so-called "man with the plans" and a pretty decent comedian. It’s none other than our favourite countryside devil, Scott!

Scott: Thanks for having me here, chumps. So, what are the questions?

Bridgette: How does it feel to miss out on the last-minute trip to Japan?

Scott: Honestly, I feel pretty jealous. They get to go to Japan while I’m stuck at home for two days because "the teacher isn’t there". Turns out, they have a holiday all to themselves while I can’t hatch out elaborate schemes with them and mess with the entire world and do farm chores instead.

Geoff: (gets handed a script) Wait… we’ve deviated from the script! The first segment isn’t really the interviews but rather… "That’s Gonna Leave a Mark"!

Bridgette: We’ve got scenes of our friends getting pretty hurt… both on camera and off camera!

That’s Gonna Leave a Mark starts, playing a montage of scenes where the cast of Total DramaRama get hurt in the following sequence

Scott gets hit in the groin by Courtney (reused from S4E5 - Take Me to the Hockey Rink)

Owen plays with a toy crocodile and gets bit

Chef’s car get destroyed by Duncan melting it with acid (reused from S3E6 - Last Mom Standing)

Cody gets trampled by a stampede of animals.

Lightning gets hit in the groin by a few cassowaries in the zoo.

Duncan gets mauled by a few wolves after getting dropped by the Drone of Despair.

A vulture carries Alejandro and drops him off into a garbage chute.

Sugar pushes Juila off the stage (reused from S4E7 - Miss Four Year Old: Inaugural Edition)

Geoff: That really is… pretty awesome! Though that really did leave a mark, mentally and physically.

Bridgette: Only God knows how Duncan managed to survive a wolf attack.

Scott: Cassowaries are more dangerous than wolves. I’ve seen them beat a pack of wolves under five minutes. UNDER FIVE MINUTES! Also, why is there a ballpit right next to the carpet?

Bridgette: That’s the next segment! Truth, or ballpit wrestling! If you lie, you’ll be placed right inside this ballpit with our resident wrestler, Wayne!

Wayne (dressed as his superhero persona from S4E8 - Milked!): Hi!

Geoff: But first, we’ve got a video featuring all the scenes with Duncan and Courtney in it! Duncan and Courtney have done lots of things together, buy a cup of Rainbow Juice, get arrested and even cause a building to explode! And look, here’s Duncan and Courtney in Duncan’s hous-

Bridgette: That’s the Kids Love Comedy ripoff.

Geoff: My bad. Now that is Duncan and Courtney actually hanging out in Duncan’s house! With Bananas and Cheese. And speaking o-

Bridgette: Don‘t let the cat out of the b-

(Everyone glares at Geoff and Bridgette)

Bridgette: We’re talking about pizza toppings! (chuckles in a sus tone)

Geoff: And look, they’re having a sleepover. Duncan on the top and Courtney at the bottom. That’s a huge sign that they’re IN LOVE!

Bridgette: WHAT? That’s not how couples work!

Scott: Excuse me, look and Alejandro and Heather! They kissed on NATIONAL TV! And don’t forget the self-shipper that somehow got in.

Geoff: So, first question, are you actually threatened by Duncan’s obvious crush on Courtney?

Scott: What… it’s made u-

(Geoff puts on Harold’s lie detector on Scott)

Scott: Really? Anyways, obviously not.

(The lie detector beeps)

Geoff: And that’s our first lie! Into the ballpit with Wayne… and his hockey stick.

Scott: Oh boy…

Wayne: They told me to wrestle the truth out of everyone, so here goes… (lets out a battle cry and absolutely beat the crap out of Scott)

Scott: UNCLE! U- (screams in agony)

Geoff: He’ll only stop if you tell the truth, Scott.

Scott: FINE. I… HAVE A CRUSH ON COURTNEY. HAPPY NOW?

Bridgette: Good enough. Wayne, please go easier on our guests…

Wayne: Uhh, ok…

Scott: How is he… this strong? Is it the hockey stick?

Raj (from the audience): He is one prodigy in martial arts, ya know. He’s also won the Prince Albert Piggyback Tournament first try!

Bridgette: And our next guests are really big deals! It’s none other than the kids’ music celebrity duo, and Duncan’s parents, Bananas and Cheese! They’re prepared an acoustic cover and a new song for us!

Bananas: Well, we’re actually putting them into a mashup!

Cheese: It’s about our baby boy, Duncan, of course! Speaking of him, I’m really proud of him managing to make a new friend in Japan!

Geoff: Speaking of them, we’ve lost track of their flight back home a few hours ago. And looks like we’ve got a video guest!

Bridgette: Hi! Wanna introduce yourself?

Damien: Yo guys, it’s Damien! Heather’s cousin.

Geoff: What’s your opinions on the whole Japan situation?

Damien: I’m suspecting that they… might have went over the International Date Line, so any navigation-related infrastructure might have gone "confused" and gave up. And hence they’re trackers malfunctioned. Also, it was amazing. But two days isn’t really enough. They’re missing out on several places, like the Tokyo Skytree. It’s a pretty beautiful place to look at the night sky.

Bridgette: Interesting… also is Heather pretty mean when you’re around?

Damien: Uh… kinda. She’s pretty bossy but she really admires me as a cool and smart kid.

Bridgette: Thanks for tuning into Total DramaRama Aftermath, and spending a bit of time with us.

Damien: No problemo. Anyways, I would love to drop by during International Cousins’ Day.

(Damien hangs up)

Geoff: That was an amazing insight to the whole situation regarding the tracking of their school bus. Anyways, Bananas and Cheese, ready to sing your newest songs?

Bananas and Cheese: Absolutely.

[Musical Number: "Independent Boy"/"In Your Eyes"]

Legend: Bananas, Cheese, Bananas and Cheese, [other singer]. Scott is on the drums, because why not.

VERSE 1

He was just a little boy, playing his favourite toys.

And dreaming on escaping this place like a naughty boy

[Sugar: If Duncan was here, he’d piss his pants]

But now he’s in the world, with his friends

CHORUS 1

He may be small but he’s an independent boy

And this achievement really brings us joy

The more I think about it, the more I admire what he’s achieved

Soon he’ll be able to reach and see his wildest dreams

’Cos we’ve raised a tough and independent boy

SPOKEN INTERRUPTION

And now, this next part is based on how tough he is when he tries to hide his feelings.

I know, that it is not really the best thing to do, but at least he doesn’t really break down that easily. Especially when things really go awry

CHORUS 2

He always try to hide the pain

He always know just what to say

He may be looking the other way, but he’s never blind

In our eyes

He lies, but we don't let it define him, oh, define him

BRIDGE

It’s always satisfying seeing our boy grow

Because there’s one thing we already know

He’s gonna be a successful man

And don’t shed your little seeds of doubt

And bring him down with your shouts

He’s gonna ignore them because he can

FINAL CHORUS

He may be small but he’s an independent boy

And this achievement really brings us joy

The more I think about it, the more I admire what he’s achieved

Soon he’ll be able to reach and see his wildest dreams

’Cos we’ve raised a tough and independent boy

[Musical Number ends]

Bridgette: What an amazing performance from Bananas and Cheese!

Cheese: Thanks. This is just a little preview of our latest song, which is out tomorrow.

Bananas: We can’t wait for you guys to hear the full song!

Geoff: And now, who wants another round of Truth or Ballpit Wrestling?

Bridgette: Your first question is: One of our planned special gue-

Geoff: I mean, a girl insulted you on TV, at Duncan. How did you feel about it? (places a lie detector on Cheese)

Cheese: Oh, uh… to be honest…

Geoff: Ten seconds or else…

Cheese: I honestly felt a bit hurt. I know that we’re a kids’ song band but we really put in effort into our music. And being compared to something as bad as Lankybox? That’s honestly insulting

(The lie detector does not beep)

Geoff: And without further ado, here’s our final guest of the night, Julia! She also had a pretty bad past a-

Julia: Is it me or is a plane headed right for the daycare?

Bridgette: IT’S THEM!

Bowie: Let’s go! Wait, who’s gonna direct the bus to our daycare?

Jude: I’ll do it. Just need to know how to do it… or should I pass it to our supposed third guest, Julia?

Julia: Alright, fine. But I better have an interview in the next Aftermath.

Bridgette: (writes it down) Alright, Julia will be a guest in the next Aftermath.

Cuts outside. Julia is seen with two glowsticks, because the correct tools to guide planes are confiscated by Chef previously

Julia: How do I… do this thing?

Geoff: I don’t know, wave them up and down?

Julia: On it (takes a selfie and waves the glowsticks up and down)

(The plane lands on top of Julia)

Chef Hatchet: KIDS! We’re back home!

Owen: 48 hours wasn’t really enough though…

Chef Hatchet: Don’t worry, you can always go to a trip to Japan sometime soon.

(Everyone exits the plane and reunites with the spectators)

Bridgette: And that is it for our first Total DramaRama Aftermath!

Geoff: Be sure to check back in the next 14 episodes for more juicy… what’s that word again? (checks a dictionary) CONTENT!

Geoff and Bridgette: And here’s us, Geoff and Bridgette, signing off this episode

(outro is cued)

Chapter Text

The episode starts in the naptime room. Everyone is sleeping… except Izzy.

Izzy: I’m so bored, what are we going to do…? I’m not even in the mood to SLEEEEEP!

Gwen: (wakes up) Can you please STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR BOREDOM? It’s been getting on and on and ON FOR 5 DAYS!

Sugar: (wakes up) I agree with creepy girl. It’s been bugging me for longer than I can count.

Mike: (wakes up) What is going on? Why is everyone upset?

Gwen: Izzy’s been complaining about her boredom over and over again! What does she think she is, Courtney?

Alejandro: (wakes up) Anyone feel like going on an adventure?

Izzy: Correctimundo! What we need is an adventure!

Mike: I think I know just who to call. (puts on a fedora and takes a big gasp)

Manitoba Smith: G’day, mates. Anyone thrilled for an adventure?

Alejandro: We need one for Izzy, but… we’re gonna need to borrow Chef’s bu-

Gwen: Chef’s bus got blown up by Duncan yesterday. He wanted to try flying to… Texas.

Sugar: TEXAS? He can’t survive Texas.

Gwen: Don’t worry, Duncan is fine… in the hospital.

(cuts to a hospital)

Duncan: CAN I HAVE A BIT OF PRIVACY?

(cuts back)

Izzy: So NO RESCUE MISSION?

Gwen: Affirmative.

Izzy: BOOOOOoo.

Alejandro: What we need is an adventure no kid has ever been to…

Alejandro: I’ve travelled the entire world… except for… the prehistoric times…

Alejandro: I have an idea! And I’m gonna need your help.

Gwen: This better be good.

(Alejandro whispers to Gwen)

Gwen: So it’s a pretend adventure? Boring.

Cody: (wakes up) Is naptime over yet?

Alejandro: Nope. Far from it.

Cody: (plays with a mysterious keypad) I’m a DJ! (beatboxes)

Alejandro: So, we put our napping mats together to form a train, and it’s a one way ticket to Dinosaur Land!

(crow noises)

Alejandro: Come on! There’s nothing wrong with pretend adventures… right?… I might have contradicted myself b-

CPU: Time machine activated. Destination: The Cretaceous Era

Alejandro: That’s our cue!

Manitoba Smith: Let’s go, my fellow ankle biters! We’ve got an adventure on our hands. (drags Izzy and enters the portal)

Alejandro: Let’s go, Gwen!

Sugar: Am I the only one who things that something bad will happen?

Cody: Let’s go, Sugar! We don’t want to leave you behind.

Sugar: You know what, whatever. This better be good.

(Sugar and Cody enter the portal)

Cody (scared): Where… are we?

Izzy: Where is the daycare?

Gwen: Great, we’re ACTUALLY stuck in an ACTUAL Dinosaur Land!

Sugar: There’s gotta be a way out…

Manitoba Smith: Legend has it that there is a relic, hidden deep within dinosaur civilisation that got destroyed. It has the power to send anything back to the present day, but we gotta act fast. I sense some whistling, headed directly to us.

Alejandro: When exactly are w- (sees a Triceratops)… oh. We’re doomed… stick together and follow Manitoba… and Izzy’s gone.

Izzy: I’m in Dinosaur Land! I better check all the fake dinosaurs Alejandro planted. At first I thought it would be so BO-RING, but it’s 65000000% more immersive! Wheeeeeeeeee

Manitoba Smith: (dips his finger in the dirt and tastes it)… The relic is this direction. (points to a rather deserted land)

Alejandro: Huh, the dinosaurs really are not he-

Manitoba Smith: Be cautions. This is snake territory. Snakes have been around for 128 million years, including this era.

Sugar: I’ve been bitten by poisonous snakes back in the farm. It would be a walk in the park, I’m essentially immune to it!

Gwen: Wow, what a showoff. 

(The kids walk through the grasslands)

Cody: OW. SNAKE BITES! (runs in random directions as he get bit over and over again)

Gwen: Snakes with legs… (kneels down to a snake and takes out a box) hey there. Wanna get in this unsuspecting box?

(The snake is intrigued)

Gwen: It’ll help you make some new friends. Just take the constant screaming as a compliment.

(The snake enters the box. Gwen closes it)

Alejandro: What did you do?

Gwen: Bringing back a new friend.

Alejandro: Ok…

Manitoba Smith: Time for a headcount, beauties. Don’t want anyone to get lost. Let’s see… me, Sugar, Alejandro… Gwen. We’re missing someone…

Cody: Is it me? ow…

Manitoba Smith: But who are we missing? And who brought us here in the first place…?

Sugar: Izzy?

Manitoba Smith: Izzy’s missing. New plan! We split up and look for Izzy.

Sugar: That’s a great idea, adventurer!

Manitoba Smith: I prefer to be called Manitoba, but… that’s a nice nickname.

Alejandro: (slaps his face) how do they never realise Izzy is gone.

Cuts back to the present day, in the naptime room.

Harold: (wakes up) Who turned on the time machine… where did everyone go?

Priya: (wakes up) What did you do?!

Harold: I DON’T KNOW?

Priya: Where did our friends go? Did someone kidnap them?

Harold: CALM DOWN!

Priya: Alright, fine. But we better bring our friends back as soon as possible.

Harold: I was asleep the ENTIRE TIME!

Chef Hatchet (enters the room): Kids, it’s Giggle Dough Day! Wake up!

Harold: Stay here, Chef. We’ve got a sticky situation right now.

Chef Hatchet: What is it?

Harold: If you exit this room, you’ll DIE.

Chef Hatchet: Alright, fine…

Harold: Now, how did the time machine get connected to this door…

Priya: What are you doing?

Harold: If I recalibrate the time machine and connect it to this portal, then use their DNA samples, we can bring them back!

Chef Hatchet: Is it safe to go out now?

Harold: (disconnects the time machine) It is.

Priya: Now let‘’s get our friends back!

Cuts back to prehistoric times.

Izzy: YEE HAW! (whips a T-rex with a vine. The T-rex runs around in pain)

Izzy: This pretend adventure is fun!

Cuts to another forested area

Manitoba Smith: The relic should be up this direction.

Sugar: We’ve been walking for a total of 30 minutes… are we there yet?

Manitoba Smith: Patience is the key. If we give up now, we’re never getting out of this time and place.

Cody: These birds aren’t so nice- AAAAAAH (gets kidnapped by a Pteranodon)

Sugar: How do these oversized birds get through these rainforests?

Alejandro: These "birds" are actually not birds, but rather pterosaurs. They are like dinosaurs except they fly. This one is called a "pteranodon".

Manitoba Smith: It must have mistaken Cody as food!

Cody: I’m a grilled cheese sandwich!

Sugar: He’s probably dead.

Manitoba Smith: Carry on, my dear friends. The sound of civilisation is near.

Sugar: We’re here!

Gwen: What is this?

Manitoba Smith: The kingdom of the dinosaurs.

The kids enter an ancient civilisation filled to the brim with dinosaurs. Dinosaurs thrive, sell stuff, fight with each other but all of them gather near a sacred temple. Meanwhile, Priya, Harold and Chef Hatchet are trying to find DNA samples of the kids.

Priya: Get back here you pig! (runs after a pig)

Harold: WHY IS HAIR THIS HARD TO FIND?

Chef Hatchet: Oh DNA, where are you?

Priya: YES! I got the pig! (swabs it) I think I might have got a bit of Sugar’s DNA!

Harold: Gimme that… we’re not too sure if it’s pig DNA or Sugar’s DNA. Let’s put it to the test!

(Harold places it in some comically sophisticated machine)

Harold: It’s a mix of Sugar’s DNA and pig DNA… I managed to separate Sugar’s DNA though.

Priya: One down, five to go!

Cuts back to the dinosaur kingdom.

Alejandro: Hi, we came from a faraway land. Do you know… where some time relic is?

Gwen: We need it to return home. There is too much sunshine here.

Cody: (falls from the floor) Ow…

(A velociraptor creeps up the kids and roars at them)

Gwen: Really?

Manitoba Smith: RUN AND DO NOT INSULT THE RAPTOR!

Gwen: And why should we not do so?

Manitoba Smith: Raptors hold a very deep grudge.

(Velociraptor noises)

Manitoba Smith: (whisper) Stay quiet. I think it wants to guide us somewhere.

Alejandro: Let’s follow the raptor and see where this goes…

(The kids enter a sacred temple)

?: Welcome, my brave knights.

Sugar: What is going on?

Cody: Uh oh…

Alejandro: Is it me or is everyone kneeling down…

(Dinosaurs kneel down around them as a T-rex appears)

T-rex: Welcome to the kingdom. You must be the God-sent knights that we were always expecting…

Manitoba Smith: What…? We get the honours to fight for you?

T-rex: You are part of a prophecy, where we arise against a rival kingdom that has been taking advantage of us…

Gwen: That really does not explain the unnecessary sunshine everywhere.

T-rex: The end times has arrived, and the relic has chosen you to fight for it. It has powers that can give the chosen ones the power to warp time to their wills. It has selected you, to fight for it. The other kingdom seeks to use it for their own gain.

Sugar: Things are really getting interesting. So, where is the other king-

(Dinosaur fight sounds)

T-rex: They’re here. The other kingdom has come to take the relic. Take these. (hands weapons to the kids)

Alejandro: Maybe this adventure really is asking for some blood and violence!

Cuts outside the temple. The kids are fighting alongside the kingdom they entered, against the rival kingdom. Alejandro and Manitoba Smith are carrying the fight by a slight amount, but Sugar and Cody are falling a bit behind. More and more rival soldiers enter to take the relic, and soon it gets harder for them to handle the crowd

Alejandro: This is getting pretty hard to handle…

Manitoba Smith: Don’t give up mate. Remember, my dear friend. An adventurer never quits.

Alejandro: You’re right. It’s either US OR THEY GO DOWN. (lets out a battle cry and defeats some rival soldiers)

Manitoba Smith: That’s the spi- (gets hit in the head by a rival soldier)

Sugar: Uh oh…

Mike: Where… am I? Oh no…

Alejandro: Oh no what?

Mike: The Malevolent One. He has risen again.

(Everyone panics and in a comedic style, the rival soldiers get defeated by accident)

Sugar: Huh, plot armor really does work 65 million years before we are born.

T-rex: Thank you for saving us. As a reward here’s the relic. Take it to return to your home realm.

Alejandro: Thanks, my fair and noble king-

T-rex: Or you can enter this conveniently placed portal. But still. Take the relic as a souvenir. The end times are slowly coming to an end. You have no time left in this realm. Enter the portal if you want to live.

Alejandro: You know, do you want to live with us? We can do a new friend in the realm we come from.

T-rex: It’s my duty to stand by my kingdom, I’m sorry my dear knights but I must not leave this realm. Now, go on. You’re got a whole long life to live.

Sugar: Pleasure fighting for you, just ruler.

T-rex: Pleasure meeting you, noble knights.

(The kids enter the portal)

Cuts to Izzy, still playing with the other T-rex

Izzy: What is this portal doing th- (gets sucked in lol)

Cuts back to the daycare

Izzy: Where… am I?

Alejandro: Izzy! You’re alive!

Cody: I had a thrill of an adventure!

Sugar: We had an awesome time in Dinosaur Land!

Mike: Yeah… but… you know… I… something terrible has happened.

Harold: It’s good to be back in the daycare, at least…

Priya: Wait… what terrible thing?

Mike: The Malevolent One… he’s back.

Priya: Wait… who is he?

Cuts outside the daycare

Mike: You won’t want to know who he is.

Chapter Text

A variation of a scene from the intro happens. Chef walks to the door but the kids (Priya, Courtney, Leshawna, Heather, Izzy, Beth, Bowie and Mike) run into the daycare. The kids instead, run to the toy box.

Beth: NO! IT CAN’T BE!

Courtney: What is it, Beth?

Priya: Tell us!

Beth: SOMEONE BROKE THE TOYS!

(Everyone gasps)

Bowie: Well, playtime ended way earlier than usual.

Izzy: Who would do such a thing?

Mike: I… don’t know!

Mike: I don’t know who broke the toys? Why would someone break the t-

(Mike takes a big gasp)

Mal: Time to turn the daycare into a living nightmare…

(Mal takes a big gasp)

Mike: What the… what just happened? Oh, he’s back… and there’s nothing I can do… except leave myself behind… yeah…

Leshawna: Fret not, guys! I’ve got a shopping list! (drops a comically long shopping list)

Courtney:…Isn’t that supposed to be my thing?

Leshawna: Yeah, so what?

Courtney: Uhh… why do we need this much toys?

Leshawna: Not just toys, snacks, food, makeup for some reason and… yeah. that’s it.

Courtney: Let’s go guys!

(The kids run out of the door)

Izzy: Mike, wanna join us?

Mike: Uhh… I’d prefer to stay beh- (gets dragged) AAAAAAA 

Izzy: You’re coming with us!

Mike: Ok. This is really bad.

Beth drives Chef’s car… again.

GPS: Take a sharp left.

Beth: Sharp… left.

Priya: How did we get in this car?

Izzy: I… honestly don’t know. We somehow got written int-

Courtney: Don’t break the fourth wall. Calm dow-

(Mike takes a big gasp)

Courtney: EVERYBODY PANIC!

(Everyone panics as Mal punctures a hole in the tire and takes a big gasp)

Mike: Did he… try to KILL US?

(Everyone screams as the car crashes into the carpark)

Beth: Huh, I thought that’ll crash right into the mall.

Izzy: That’s overused and is already, say it with me guys!

Everyone: A cliche.

Cuts inside the mall. The kids rush inside.

Izzy: NO ONE CARES ABOUT CLICHES ANYWAY!!!

Beth: Uhh… where do we star-

Courtney: Let’s go to the supermark-

Priya: Boring. Let’s go to Toys ’R’ Us. Most of what we need is right inside!

Courtney: Come to think of it… yeah. We’re here for the toys…

(Everyone rushes inside Toys ’R’ Us)

Cuts to the Barbie section

Heather: Let’s see… Barbie dolls… tiaras… (sees the photo booth) oooh what’s this? HEY BETH! TAKE A PHOTO OF ME!

Beth: No.

Heather: Pretty please…

Beth: Fine.

Heather: (runs to the photo booth) ready for it?

Beth: Say cheese!

Heather smiles and hears a large gasp and trips on the photobooth, revealing a hidden Mal.

Beth: Uhh… wanna do a retake?

Mal: Wanna see a Mike impression? (imitates Mike) Hi. I’m Mike and I am a total i- (takes a big gasp)

Mike: This might be getting out of hand… (takes a big gasp)

Mal: And I like it.

Cuts to another section.

Priya: Anyone up for a game of Oligopoly once we’re back?

Courtney: Uhh… that’s not on the shopping l-

Priya: Who cares? Just add. to. cart.

Courtney: Fine. (takes an Oligopoly board and places it into the shopping cart)

Priya: Wanna play a game of Uno?

Courtney: You know, that’s actually on the list. (Takes the Uno cards and places it into the cart)

Priya: What about this cool ninja toy Harold wanted?

Courtney: Eh, whatever. (Places the ninja toy into the cart)

Priya: And this toy ca-

Courtney: No. We better save up for more stuff… we only have $1200 on us.

Priya: Fair enough… hey where did you get the $1200?

Courtney: Monthly allowances.

Courtney: It really is a great thing when your parents are high-class lawyers. They get high incomes and thus, higher allowances. I always wanted to be a lawyer like them…

Cuts to another section.

Bowie: Let’s see… tiny goalposts for four year olds… McLean Brand slippery floor mats… perfect for Raj and Wayn-

Leshawna: And how are we supposed to afford these? We only have $1200!

Bowie: That… costs around $340. Should be way more than enough. (does more nail filing)

Leshawna: Whatever. (Throws them into the shopping cart) Oh look! Dress to Impress: THE BOARD GAME!!!! We should buy it!

Bowie: Alright… (places the board game into the shopping cart)

Cuts to another aisle. Izzy finds a dinosaur toy

Izzy: RAWR! I’m a dinosaur!!!! This toy is fun to play with!

Cuts to some cool racetrack.

Courtney: (to herself) come on… Courtney. You can win this…

(Priya wins the toy car race)

Priya: YES!

Courtney: AAAAAH! ROUND 5!

Mal (as Mike): Can I join you guys?

Priya: Uhh… sure, Mike…

(Mal backtracks so hard it knocks off Priya and Courtney’s toy cars)

Courtney: HEY, THAT’S NOT FAIR!

Priya: YOU CAN BE THIS… MEAN!

Mal: What, no… I never di- (gasps)

Mike: And that is why I didn’t want to go to this mall in the first place.

Courtney: This… is really bad.

Priya: YOU BETTER GIVE A VALID REASON WHY YOU HAD TO RUIN THE CAR RACE. (seeths with anger)

Courtney: That… was not Mike. That was an evil personality called the Malevol-

(Mike takes a big gasp)

Mal: What’cha talking about, girls?

Priya: (angry) It’s you…

Courtney: (intimidated) Mike told me… about everything you did…

Mal: Huh, it seems that I’m a hot topic in the outside world… (laughs evilly)

Priya and Courtney: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! (runs in opposite directions)

Mal: Ready or not… here I come… (runs for Priya)

Priya: This so called, what was that… whatever personality Mike is throwing at us… IS A COMPLETE PSYCHOPATH!

Mal: Hi, little pig…

Priya: GET AWAY FROM ME! (sprays Mal with water as he takes a big gasp)

Mike: AAAAH! WHAT IS YOUR PROB- oh… Mal came out again.

Priya: Wait… Mal? He’s the evil guy?

Mike: Yeah… and he’s out and about. Better keep a watch.

Courtney: And that should be all the toys we have.

MacArthur: That would be… $650.

Courtney: Thanks, madam. (pays $650 and leaves with the rest)

Leshawna:… let’s buy some more!

Priya: You sure… it’s starting to drag pretty long… and we have to get Mike back as soon as possible!

Beth: You’re right… let’s go!

Heather: Awww… I always wanted a branded handbag…

Courtney: It’s already 10:30 am. We’ve got a few more hours of shopping before it’s pickup time.

Bowie: Let’s do some more shopping!

Courtney: (reluctantly hands the allowances to the other kids)

Leshawna: Wait… I haven’t explained why I got $1200 too… I won it in a game show. Boom. There you go!

Heather: I would like two of your most expensive handbags… one for me and one for my love…

Cashier: Ya sure… because you seem a bit… undera-

Heather: GIVE ME THE PURSES AND I’LL PAY FOR IT Y-

Cashier: Fine… just don’t hurt me…

Heather: (happy) Thanks for your service! (skips out of the shop)

Cuts to a nail salon

Leshawna: Aaaaah, this is the life…

(a big gasp is heard)

Mal: Time for some more fun…

Leshawna: (screams loudly)

Cuts to the supermarket

Courtney: Wait… I FORGOT! Sugar wanted some… potato seeds? Huh, she really wants to diversify her output… smart move. (takes the potato seeds)

Courtney: And Owen wants more fudgy lumps… classic Owen. (takes the fudgy lumps)

Beth: Can I get a jar of honey and a carton of chocolate milk?

Courtney: Sure.

Beth: YAY!

Courtney: But we might be running dry of money… so better be wise.

Beth: Ok.

Beth: I did not understand a single thing Courtney said… but that’s all I need.

Cuts to a shoe shop

Bowie: Hmmm, what should I buy…?

(Bowie sees some cool shoes)

Bowie: I’ll take a pair of these bad boys for myself.

Leshawna: (runs in) YOU GOTTA HIDE! MAL’S COMING!

Bowie: Wait… who’s Mal?

Leshawna: JUST HIDE!

(Leshawna and Bowie hide behind a seat)

Mal: Where are you… I’m still not don- (gasps)

Mike: STOP IT MAL. I’M TAKING BACK THIS BODY ONE WAY OR A- (gasps)

Mal: Oh, you’re not gonna be successful in that, inferior Mike. (walks away from the entrance of the shoe store)

Leshawna: Phew…

?: Want some dolls to keep you company in your sleep? (shows a creepy doll)

Doll: You will be stuck in a spiral of endless doom!!!

(Leshawna and Bowie scream in horror and runs away)

Cuts to a gym

Izzy: Hi, I would like to subscribe to a gym services. Would you like… a magical trowel I found in a dragon’s kidney?

Cashier: No. Also do I look like I accept collateral?

Izzy: No.

Cashier: (pushes Izzy out) and STAY OUT!

Izzy: This shopping game is getting boring.

Cuts to the train station

Courtney: So… how was everyone’s shopping experiences?

Bowie: It was great spending with you guys…

Izzy: Great? It was boring? I didn’t get to do funny things with gym equipment.

Priya: Wait. Gym equipment… and there goes Izzy, running off for some more stu-

Mike: Uhh… I think Izzy might be stealing stuff again. Also, it was a complete nightmare. Because of Mal.

Leshawna: HE RUINED MY NAILS!

Priya: HE RUINED THE CAR RACE!

Beth: What… just happened?

Mike:…Mal.

Beth: Who’s Mal.

Mike: An evil person you won’t want to know abou-

Izzy: I’m back! (with a chainsaw)

Beth: Did you… STEAL AN ACTUAL CHAINSAW?!

Izzy: Yup… and now… (laughs evilly)

Bowie: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

(everyone runs as Izzy chases them)

Izzy: This game is fun! (laughs)

Chapter Text

The episode starts in the living room of Duncan’s house.

Duncan: UGH! New Years’ Day is coming up… and it’s the most boring thing ever! You just party over just a simple day with NOTHING to offer, and the worst part? Because I’m the "naughty" kid, I have to clean up after them! All those juice boxes and plastic bottles they leave behind… that’s not a ME THING! And CHEF forces me to do all this… man I hate New Years’ Day celebrations (slams his head on a piano but it sounds pretty nice)

Duncan: You know, I can always… explain all my lament in a song!

[Musical Number: "New Years Day" by Taylor Swift]

VERSE 1

Duncan:

There’s glitter on the floor after the party (angrily slams the piano)

And there’s nothing I can do to stop it (angrily slams the piano)

Juice boxes, fruit punch and missed darts (angrily slams the piano)

That Chef FORCES ME TO CLEAN UP!

CHORUS 1

No chance to escape this

You stay back to do stupid chores and lose all your face

I want my freedom

But I’m stuck cleaning the daycare on New Years Day…

SPOKEN INTERRUPTION

Courtney: Open up, Duncan!

Duncan: NO!

Courtney: I got my fair share of bad stuff I want to say about New Years Day!

Duncan: WHATEVER. But I won’t do the piano ac- (gets pushed off by Courtney)

Courtney: I can play the piano, thank you very much…

VERSE 2

Courtney:

Just another year that just ends

Soon you’ll say goodbye to your friends

And forget all their faces

During one damned New Years Day

CHORUS 2

You know the last page.

We won’t stay, and get lost and get scared and remained turned away

And look back at the Midnights

That we could’ve had before that New Years Day

BRIDGE

Courtney: Hold on, to the memories that won’t hold on to you

Duncan: I’d rather get wedgied than clean up all of this… UGH, POO

Courtney: And letting go of you…

Please don’t ever become a stranger

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Please don’t ever become a stranger

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere…

[Musical Number ends]

Duncan: Wait… you hate New Years Day too?

Courtney: It just… I… it just means one less year in this daycare… no Chef, no you guys… I know I want to pursue my goals I want to achieve as an adult but… you know, being just four year olds is good enough.

Duncan: Speaking of it… we’re four year olds for concerningly too long…

Courtney: Guess we should go back to sleep…

Duncan: You’re right…

Duncan: Huh, never thought I would have something in common with Courtney…

Courtney exits Duncan’s house and goes back to her house.

Courtney: Well, I guess that’s it for Total DramaRama… I guess… really going to miss the memories we had…

Courtney sleeps and eight hours pass.

Courtney: (yawns and wakes up) Wait a minute… why is it 4am? I swear it’s supposed to be around 7…

Duncan appears in another panel

Duncan: Hi Courtney, ever feel like time is slowing down?

Courtney: Yeah… That seems pretty concern-

(Duncan’s panel gets pushed away by Courtney’s mom)

Courtney’s Mom: So, what should we do for the… three extra hours of time that can’t be explained?

Courtney: Let’s just go back to sleep… it’s just our circadian rhythms malfunctioning.

(Courtney tries to sleep as ? and ! exit through a portal)

?: Courtney, wake up.

!: We need you.

Courtney: What… I’m TRYING TO G- (gets frozen in time)

?: Get her to the Time Realm. We’ll talk to her from there.

!: Aw man… she’s one of those guys?

?: Unfortunately, yes.

(? and ! carry Courtney into the portal)

Cuts to the Time Realm. Courtney gets unfrozen.

Courtney: WHAT? Where am I?

Duncan: Don’t ask me. These two brought us here.

Courtney: Are we dead? Is this a dream? (slaps herself repeatedly)

?: Yeah, let’s just pretend that it’s a dream. It’s totally in your minds.

Duncan: Who… are you?

?: We’re the Timetastic Two. I’m Madam Annual, and that is… Wilbur.

Wilbur: This doll is fun to play with! (pulls the string)

Doll: I will suck your soul out of your mortal body and then eat it up like lunch

Duncan:…oh.

Courtney: Wait… why are we here?

Madam Annual: We need your help to restore New Years Day.

Wilbur: And you’re the only two candidates left.

Courtney: Owe-

Madam Annual: Too busy eating fudgy lumps

Duncan: Lightni-

Wilbur: He’s playing hockey for Canada… with Wayne and Raj.

Courtney: Chef Hatche-

Madam Annual: Unavailable.

Duncan:…R-

Wilbur: Livestreaming

Courtney: UGH! Why us? Why not two random kids on the other side of the Earth?

Wilbur: Even I have no clue. Right, Madam Annual?

Madam Annual: We just go to random houses to see the perfect candidates. And looks like you two are the best ones we could find.

Duncan: We HATE New Years Day!

Wilbur: That adventure we’re sending you on might teach you the importance of New Years Day.

Madam Annual: We’re aware of your sentiment on New Years Day, and my resolution is to teach you two about the importance of New Years Day.

Courtney: So, what are we supposed to do?

Madam Annual: The time ball has been stolen. It sits in a hidden dimension with an invisible portal right above Times Square. It keeps control of the rotation and the orbit of the Earth.

Courtney: So it isn’t gravity responsible for all this?

Wilbur: Affirmative.

Madam Annual: But you must not tell anyone about this. If they do… everyone’s heads will blow up into PICKLE JUICE!

Duncan: Huh, surprising that our brains are intact.

Madam Annual: We have placed an application on your phones that have the live exact location of the time ball. You must find it before it strikes 12… or it fades out of existence and the world would freeze.

Wilbur: And take these! (hands Duncan and Courtney weapons) The thief would be armed… because stealing the time ball would always come with a dark and twisted intention behind it. Now, go! (pushes Duncan and Courtney through a portal)

Cuts to the daycare

Duncan: Great. Out of every where we can go, we had to be in THE DAYCARE? And school is already starting!

Courtney: Where do we even find this ball, let alone push it back?

Duncan: Don’t ask me, genius.

Courtney: Also I wonder why out of everywhere, it is in the North Pole…

Duncan: Let’s take the bus to the North Pole!

Duncan and Courtney take the bus and flies.

Skips ahead a few hours and near the location of the time ball

Duncan: Huh, I have been expecting some weird evil goons to come flying for us… but nOOOOooo. It’s a boring flight all the way to wherever the time ball is.

Courtney: Did you know that fl- WHAT THE HECK IS T-

The bus gets hit by a snowball and crashes to the ground. Duncan and Courtney are near the North Pole.

Duncan: Are we… close?

Courtney: I have no bars… but probably. Because of all these snow soldiers after us!

Duncan: Let’s fight snow… with SNOW! Courtney, get me a shovel.

Courtney:… I DIDN’T BRING ANY SHOVELS! What do you think I am, PRIYA?!

Duncan: UGH, just DIG THE SNOW WITH OUR HANDS!

(Duncan and Courtney get frostbite from touching snow with their bare hands)

Duncan: GAH! IT’S TOO… COLD

Courtney: Well, it’s been nice knowing you… before we DIE!

[Musical Number: "Before We Die"/"This Is How We Will End It" from Total Drama World Tour]

Legend: Duncan, Courtney, Duncan and Courtney

PART I: BEFORE WE DIE

We’re singing as we’re freezing

As the world starts to stop spinning

As our lives start to flash before our eyes!

We may not go in a fire

But rot to hypothermia

But there’s tons we wanna do before we die!

Personal injury lawyer

SPOKEN INTERRUPTION

Duncan: Really… well I GOT NOTHING IN MY HEAD. WE’RE SCREWED

Courtney: Well, freezing to death with no way to save the world is not how we want to go down!

PART II: THIS IS HOW WE WILL END IT

Legend: Alejandro, Priya, Alejandro and Priya

(Alejandro and Priya sled through the snow soldiers in a bobsled)

This is not how we will end it

[Duncan: Wait… what?]

It’s our world that we’re saving

Freezing ain’t how we will end it…

[Musical Number ends]

Duncan: Alejandro! You’re here.

Courtney: Priya, Alejandro… how did you get here?

Alejandro: Well… I always wanted to visit Santa… wait? Why are you he-

Priya: Take these winter clothes we bought on Storeify. It will keep you guys warm.

Duncan: Thanks… anyways… we’re here to find the time ball.

Courtney: We got sent by some time-related gods to save New Years Day. Ironic, I always dread New Years Day.

Alejandro: Time ball really rings a bell… wait? YOU NEED TO SAVE NEW YEARS DAY? It’s an essential day and without the time ball… New Years Day stops and the world goes into a standstill state. And we FREEZE TO DEATH! Let’s go.

Cuts to another part of the Arctic region

Courtney: I think I might know where the time ball is

Duncan: Yeah… come to think about it… freeze to death… reminds us about a certain villain we faced.

Alejandro: This cave looks a bit comically oversized…

Priya: (gasps) It must be where the time ball is!

Duncan: Let’s go!

The kids enter the weird cave. Turns out… it’s a trap. The kids fall into a mysterious basement that is dark and is tied up

Alejandro: Where… are we?

Duncan: TELL US WHO YOU ARE!

Madam Annual: The only thing I know is that we’re somehow tied up to some chairs!

Wilbur: Wait… who is that?

Flakey: HAHAHAHAHAH! Remember me, kids?

Alejandro: Uhh… who are you?

(Part 2 coming soon)

Chapter Text

Alejandro: Where… are we?

Duncan: TELL US WHO YOU ARE!

Madam Annual: The only thing I know is that we’re somehow tied up to some chairs!

Wilbur: Wait… who is that?

Flakey: HAHAHAHAHAH! Remember me, kids?

Alejandro: Uhh… who are you?

Flakey: Who… am I? WHO AM I? I… am your worst… nightmare! (laughs evilly)

Alejandro: Ah yes, the stereotypical villain. Now SHUT IT AND LET U- oh. we’re screwed.

Courtney: Normally I would tell you to return the time ball to its rightful place but everyone knows what you’re about to say next.

Duncan: That trope is already overused, doofus. And what’s next, a self-destruct button?

Priya: Does this look like a badly animated cartoo-

(Everyone stares at the reader in shock)

Priya: It really is a badly animated cartoon.

Flakey: STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

Courtney: Just tell us your plans and GET THIS EPISODE OVER WITH!

Madam Annual: What about saving New Years Day

Duncan: We know how this would go… (rolls his eyes)

Flakey: Behind me is the legendary time ball that is responsible f-

Courtney: DO WE EVEN NEED A RECAP?

Flakey: You’re mad that I did not explain my plans like any generic supervillain would, NOW YOU’RE MAD THAT I’M DOING WHAT YOU ASKED ME TO?!

Courtney:…(chuckles) nevermind…

Flakey: Back to what I was saying. It is responsible for the orbit and rotation of the planet, so if I take it away, it prevents it from starting a new year, causing a freeze in orbit and spin, and it would fly away… far from Earth and it will FREEZE TO DEATH! (laughs maniacally) Soon, the age of snowmen shall FINALLY BEGIN! (laughs even more maniacally until he sees our heroes free themselves) HEY! GET BACK HERE!

Duncan: There is always flaws in these weird tight chairs! Man, four years of trying to escape the daycare really paid off!

(Everyone is running away-)

Wilbur: Hey… isn’t the time ball on the other side of this facility?

Courtney: Yeah-

Alejandro: (holds a flamethrower) Ready to melt some snowmen? 

Priya: (holds some water balloons) FOR HUMANKIND!!! (runs off and destroys some snowmen)

Alejandro:…do I look like I have a plan to stop them? I’m not Scott! But I do love recklessly charging into battle for no absolute reason (runs off and lets out a battle cry)

Duncan: (stares into Courtney’s eyes) …and here’s the four of us, with NO A-

Madam Annual: We can freeze people into place. We can also speed people up and slow them down.

Wilbur: It’s called the magic of TIME!

Courtney: Then… spee- (gets sped up) AAAAAAAAAA (runs into snowmen and destroy them) I CAN’T CONTROL MY BODYYYYYYYY- (hits the time ball as it rolls and destroy the wall in a comical fashion)

Duncan: There is…

Duncan, Madam Annual and Wilbur: Always a flaw in a villain’s lair.

Duncan: I’m honestly surprised that there is no self destruct button. Does this even count as a special?

Wilbur: I love breaking the fourth wall! Unlike that freaky snowman on the other side.

Flakey: UGH! If I can’t contain you guys… might as well (in a sinister tone) delay you guys. (uses winter magic to summon the school bus)

Duncan: NOT OUR RIDE BACK HOME!

Flakey: (destroys the bus) Now how are you going to restore New Years Day?

Everyone else: NOOOOOOOO!

Meanwhile, Courtney (with super speed because she is being fast forwarded) is rolling the time ball away

Courtney: This is f- (gets slowed down)

Madam Annual: And here’s the catch. If you stay in this state for far too long, you’ll start to age faster… and die faster. It’s how time works.

Courtney: Thanks for the reminder…

Courtney: It’s obvious. But, I can’t stop it. And even if I could, it was fun.

Duncan: Looks like we’ve got company…

Priya: Is that… snowmen after us? We can easily defeat the-

Flakey: Nonsense, my adversaries. I’ve placed a special spell that prevents them from ever melting! Just… like me.

Courtney: Oh, so that’s how you returned… twice in this show.

Flakey: We can revive as well. Ever heard of… the water cycle?

Courtney: EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT THAT! Right, Duncan…?

Duncan: I only heard of that cycle from you, Courtney.

Alejandro: MOVE FASTER, MI AMIGOS! THEY’RE CATCHING UP!

(Everyone gets fast forwarded and accidentally rushes into Lake Erie, aged up by twelve years)

16 year old Duncan: (spits out water) where are we? Why are we teenagers now?

16 year old Priya: Looks like… one of the gr- (gets aged down to four, along with everyone else)

Duncan: MY OLD BODY… IT’S BACK! Wait… why did you not age up like the rest of us?

Madam Annual: We’re immortal, plus we can travel to any time period we want.

Wilbur: We only got five hours before New Years Day starts. We gotta act fast.

Courtney: GET OFF ME YOU STUPID EELS-

Alejandro: WE BETTER RUN! THESE [bleep] ARE STARVING!

Alejandro: They only attack humans upon starvation. But most of the time, we eat them. They’re called lampreys, which should resemble the sandworms from Beetlejuice, except less scary and monstrous.

Courtney: Now… how are we supposed to get t-

Alejandro: Need a ride…? (points to a car)

Duncan: Yup.

Alejandro: Hi, Madam. I would love to rent one of your cars.

MacArthur: And what makes me think you can drive on-

Alejandro: (shows an actual drivers license) The drivers license never lies.

MacArthur:… looks legit. That would be… $600.

Alejandro: (pays $600) car keys?

MacArthur:… sure?

Duncan: How did you forge the license?

Alejandro: By actually TAKING DRIVING LESSONS!

Flashback:

Alejandro: (screams as he somehow passes his driving test on a car)

Alejandro: Thus, mi amigo, the drivers license is legit. Now, let’s ride.

Wilbur: (tries to stuff the time ball into the boot) Just… trying to stuff… the ball… in…

Cuts to the road. The time ball is placed on top of the car.

Courtney: AT THIS RATE, WE’LL BE L- (the car gets fast forwarded) how many times will this hap-PEEENNN!!

(everyone screams)

Cuts to Times Square. A billboard gets hacked. Flakey (not facing the screen) appears

Flakey: Greetings, unsuspecting civilians. Unfortunately, we have to cancel New Years Day… FOREVER! You will also be put into an eter- (jumbles) stupid… LAG! (gets cut off)

Chef Hatchet: Uh oh… this ain’t good. Kids, we m-

(Everyone panics)

Chef Hatchet: Do I have to do everything to keep them calm?

Cuts to the pocket dimension

Madam Annual: Here we are! The home of the t-

Flakey: You didn’t think you can get rid of me this easily?

Wilbur: Well yeah… until you said it right to my face.

Flakey: But… it is time… to face your DOOM! Face it. You’ll never restore New Years Day…

Duncan: Well, I hate New Years Day… but… hey. YOU WON’T STOP ME FROM ESCAPING THE DAYCARE BY TAKING IT AWAY!

Courtney: I… just don’t want to let go of my friends, that’s why I don’t really like it… but let’s face it. It’s gonna happen one way or another…

[Musical Number: "New Years Day" (Reprise)/"Long Live" by Taylor Swift]

VERSE 1

Courtney:

I said remember this moment, in the back of my mind

The time we stood with our shaking hands, the crowds in the stands went wild.

We were the kings and the queens

And they read off our names

The night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same

You held your head like a hero

On a history book page

It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age

CHORUS 1

Long live the walls we crashed through

All the kingdom lights shined just for me and you

I was screaming long live all the magic we made

And bring on all the pretenders

One day, we will be remembered

Long live all the mountains we moved

I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you

I was screaming long live that look on your face

And bring on all the pretenders

One day, we will be remembered

BRIDGE 1

And hold on, to the memories, they will hold on to you…

Hold on, to the memories, they will hold on to you…

Hold on, to the memories, they will hold on to you…

Duncan:

And I will hold on to you…

(fancy piano playing)

Alejandro: We won’t… ever become strangers

Duncan: Whose laughs you can recognize anywhere

Priya: We won’t every become strangers whose laughs you can recognize everywhere…

CHORUS 2

Courtney:

I read… the last page. Where you’d stay… when it’s hard and I’m scared and were turning away

Duncan:

I hate… today’s midnight.

Courtney and Duncan: But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Years Day

BRIDGE 2

Courtney:

Hold on, to spinning around

Confetti falls to the ground

May these memories make our fall

OUTRO

[Alejandro and Priya: We won’t every become strangers whose laughs you can recognize everywhere…] (that repeats throughout the end of the song)

And long live… the walls we crashed through [Duncan: No chance to escape this]

I had the time of my life… with you [Duncan: You stay back to do stupid chores and lose all your face]

[Alejandro and Priya stops singing]

Duncan and Courtney: But I guess I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Years Day…

[Musical Number ends]

Flakey: Wow, that is so not emotionally mo-

Wilbur: Just so you know, I managed to call their friends to come. Just need to sprinkle some Christmas gifts onto you.

Flakey: Wait… why?

Wilbur and Madam Annual: You’ll see…

Owen: PUDDING! (runs and attacks Flakey and licks him)

Alejandro: You see, muñeco de nieve tonto idiota, if us four year olds work together, you won’t stand a chance! (high-fives Wilbur)

Madam Annual: We’re technically… not four year olds. But I do love the teamwork. Let’s fast-forward their demises! (Fast forwards two snowmen and slows down another two)

Leshawna: Get off this stupid throne. That is for the cool ball for New Years Day!

Chef Hatchet: LEAVE MY STUDENTS… (whacks a snowman) ALONE!

Lightning: (beats up a snowman) Looks like Build a Snowman Day… is CANCELLED!

Beth: (sprays honey) Hey, bees! Looks like these snowmen want to be your friends!

(Bees ravage the snowmen and destroy them)

Bowie: Looks like… it’s time (throws a puck)… for some hockey!

Flakey: And what would a stupid disc d…

Wayne: Is that the goalie from the other team? Looks weak, eh. What’cha think, Rajie?

Raj: Time to take down this sieve!

(Wayne and Raj charge at Flakey and accidentally him)

Wayne: That would… give us a penalty. But, it’s a battle against good and evil. That certainly has to not count… right?

Bowie: …I just came to say, that wouldn’t

Heather: Guess it’s just you and me now, Mr Snowman. Want a little snack?

Flakey: Sure…

Heather: (sprays Flakey with pepper spray) THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR HURTING MY BOYFRIEND!

Chase (from afar): In today’s video, we’re flying a literal plane onto this living snowman!

Emma (from afar): Are you crazy? We’re gonna die!

Chase (from afar): Crazy is my middle name. (Crashes the plane onto Flakey as he gets split into two)

Flakey: No… you can’t do this… you… win… (melts)

Chase: Be sure to like and subscribe for more epic stunts. And this is Chase, signing off.

Duncan: That… was… the most EPIC BATTLE WE EVER HAD!

Courtney: Yeah, that was definitely not over the place.

Chef Hatchet: But who cares? It’s time for New Years Day! And hey, at least we know how New Years Day works.

Madam Annual: Thanks, my friends. But our duty is over. But first, who wants to do the honours of restoring the time ball?

Duncan: Well, Courtney, let’s do this.

Courtney: Yup. It’s time we learn that New Years Day… isn’t that bad.

(Duncan and Courtney push the time ball back to its place as everyone gets teleported back to Times Square)

Wilbur: Farewell, my new friends! Remember, the spirit of New Years Day is best celebrated with a resolution!

Courtney: Wait… I HAVEN’T DONE A NEW YEARS RESOLUTION!

Duncan: Well, I have one. Appreciate New Years Day. And look! We’ve already done it.

Chef Hatchet: Well, it’s time to see the ball drop. Everyone, assemble in front of this cool tower!

(Everyone assembles in front of Times Square. The time ball drops from the pocket dimension)

Everyone: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, HAPPY NEW YEARS DAY! (celebrated)

Duncan: Well, I guess… we don’t have to clean up the daycare after all…

Courtney: We can still keep in touch after we graduate from the daycare.

Duncan: This… really is the best New Years Day celebration ever. Hey, you! What do you think of New Years Day? Do you celebrate it with your family, or you friends? Be sure to comment down on this episode. Anyways, here’s a New Years Day gift from me to you. (throws a skull at the camera as it trips, breaks and falls)

Duncan: Why do I always forget… we’re in a show.

Courtney: Well, it would really freak the viewers out if we really bounced out of their TV screens.

Chapter Text

The episode starts in the classroom. Harold is working on something that looks rather… futuristic.

Heather: Hi, Harold! Can I play with your new toy?

Harold: Uhh… it’s not really a toy… but rather-

Heather: A futuristic weapon from the future? GIMME IT (snatches the thing)

Heather: Wonder what it doe- (blasts herself by accident and screams in pain) ARE YOU CRAZY?

Harold: Huh, when I tested it on Richard Swimmins… he didn’t give a large reaction… weird…

(Cuts to the fish tank with a dead Richard Swimmins, before cutting back to Harold and Heather)

Heather: Do I look like I’M OK?! I ALMOST DIED!

Harold: That… is an ability blaster. It can give a person a special power for a three hour period. It’s completely random and…

Heather: Do I have super strength? Can I fly? Do I have laser eye vision? Lightnin-

Lightning: Lightning powers are for the. Lightning. Also, that is cool.

Heather: It would be funny if I actually got cool lightning powers. And also emotionally devastating for Lightning.

Chef Hatchet: Kids! Nap time~!

Cuts to the nap room. Heather is asleep, alongside other students.

Owen: Harold, buddy… what are you doing?

Harold: Observing Heather. She… kinda… volunteered to test out my ability blaster. She should have a cool superpower for around six hours… It could be anything… so why not bring out the Dream Machine! It can see what dreams she h- NO DREAM? WHAT?

Owen: This can’t be good…

Harold: Did I… kill her? No, it can’t be…

Owen: Heather is still breathing…

Harold: Wonder what is going on…

The camera zooms into Alejandro’s head and enters his dreams. Alejandro appears as a knight, about to rescue a princess from an evil dragon.

Alejandro: Fret not, mi querida princesa, your noble knight is here to save you! (tries to slay the evil dragon but fails)

Alejandro: You may be stronger than me, evil beast, but I will not gi-

(the dragon gets blasted by a mysterious beam from its tower and disintegrates)

Alejandro: Huh, plot armour really works in dreams…

Alejandro: Time to save y- Heather… you’re the princess?

Heather: Yes, my noble knight. And I have a new mission that we have to take on together. I sense a dark evil in a far away realm…

Cuts to the outside world. Harold connects the Dream Machine to Alejandro and finds out something

Heather (from the machine): And we two must stop it! I can create a portal that will send us right into the realms… but be warned. We only have three hours.

Alejandro (from the machine): Three hours sounds just right for an adventure, mi amor. Let’s go save the realms from this evil!

(Heather creates a portal to another dream that she and Alejandro enters)

Harold: This is bad… Owen! Wake up as many of our friends as we can!

Owen: Why?

Harold: Heather is gathering our friends to stop an evil stuck in one of our friend’s dreams… But who? Anyways, if Heather does not wake up by the three hour limit she has, she’ll be stuck in a dream… FOREVER… alongside the rest of her friends. The only way she can save them is… you guessed it.

Harold and Owen: Waking up.

Harold: We better wake up as many people as we can!

Owen: (farts on Priya) On it!

Priya: EW?! What is WRONG WITH YOU?!

Owen: I needed to wake you up. Don’t have time for explai-

Harold: We had to wake you up to prevent the risk of being stuck in someone’s dreams. We don’t have much screen time allocated for me to explain it again… so we’ll have to do it… OFF-CAMERA!

Priya: Really… off camera?

Harold: Yup, I’ve already explained it once to the viewers.

Priya: Oh.

Cuts to another dream

Alejandro: Where is this…?

Heather: The evil is still far away. But we can find more people to stop it. This evil is too strong to be faced by two. Wait… where a-

Alejandro: WATCH OUT!

Josh: And looks like two random people accidentally walked into the football field during the final two minutes! Will they be able to dodge the tackles? Probably not.

Meanwhile, Alejandro and Heather get tackled by football players endlessly (and accidentally). One of them does a ridiculously and physically impossible leap and touches down at the final second

Commentator: Looks like Lightning has gotten a touchdown for the Chargers! They win this year’s Super Bowl and the grand prize… a ring. For… some reason.

Heather: That… was… AWESOME!

Lightning: Thanks g… wait… what are you doing here?

Alejandro: Some evil… in another realm… need more people to stop it.

Lightning: Time for me to be a hero! Where is it?

Heather: I… don’t know. We’ve searched everywhere… not yet but (opens another portal) We also need to find more help to stop it.

Lightning: Alright… Let’s go, Alejandro. (enters the portal)

Cuts to Duncan’s dream

Duncan: Dudes, what are you doing… in MY DREAM?! I was about to… escape the DAYCARE!

Alejandro: Wow, your dreams really are… boring. Ironic.

Heather: There is an evil in another realm… plus if you go with us, that would be an easy way out of this daycare.

Duncan: You know, that is a great idea. Let’s go!

Cuts back to the real world.

Courtney: So, what you’re trying to say is that… we only have one hour before our friends are stuck in a dream and never returning to their bodies?

Harold: Yup. And they’ll turn into figments of a person’s mind as their bodies get left behind to ROT…

Courtney: (gasps in horror) This is bad…

Owen: We need to find that evil Heather is talking about to several of us…

Courtney: We’re down to a few studen… wait… I think I might know who the evil Heather is talking about is inside… or rather, is.

Everyone: Tell us!

Courtney: Uhm…-

Cuts to a museum in Scott’s dream. A montage of running around, parkour and other shenanigans starts

Scott: I got everything planned for this grand heist… and they all worked! Soon, the golden potato is mine… MINE! (laughs evilly but accidentally trigger some alarms)

MacArthur: Nice try, thief… but you ain’t getting away with this artefact.

Scott: Oh really? (throws a smoke bomb and escapes… to no avail because the grappling hook is too slow…

MacArthur: Really… this slow?

Scott: Eh, you can’t even catch up… and here you are… looking at me es-(screams) WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?

Heather: There is an evil in another realm… and we need you to help us stop it.

Scott: Really? I was about to strike it rich? NOW WH- HEY! LET ME GO!

Heather: You really didn’t have a choice here… sorry.

Scott: This better be worth my time.

Cuts to… a brain?

Heather: What… is this?

Lightning: Seems… ominous.

Duncan: Is this really a d-

Mike: Hi guys! Welcome to my subconscious! We… aren’t as active and lively as before… ever since… that thing showed up.

(Everyone gasps as the camera zooms out to the naptime room)

Courtney: Mal… he’s the evil Heather is talking about!

Harold: And they better act fast… they only have 30 minutes before Heather’s powers run dry. We need three volunteers to help them. Who’ll go?

Priya and Beth: Let’s go save our friends!

Harold: And good… one more… Courtney?

Courtney: (sighs) FINE.

Harold: You know the drill, you have a-

Beth and Courtney: 10% chance to be stuck in a dream.

Courtney: We know, now GET ON WITH IT!

Harold: Alright. (transports Beth, Courtney and Priya into Mike’s subconscious)

Cuts to another part of Mike’s subconscious

Mike: Ever since Mal took over… he forced my friends to do… weird stuff.

Chester: Skateboards are on sale! Get them while you c- Hey, how did you kids get here?

Heather: No time to explain. There is an evil here… and it’s close.

Chester: You mean the Malevolent One? He forced me… out of everything that I can do… to SELL SKATEBOARDS! Talk about stupid… thanks, whoever that is.

Alejandro: Name’s Alejandro. And we’ve got a cynical overlord to defeat!

Mike: Me, Alejandro and Heather will confront Mike. Lightning, Scott and Duncan, you free the rest of my friends and join us at the tower later.

Scott: Hey, I thought I was the one that does the p-

Mike: This is my turf… this is my subconscious. I know this place best. Now, get on and free my friends!

(The kids separate)

Priya, Beth and Courtney enter the subconscious and land on some stage.

Vito: Finally, an audience.

Courtney: Hey, Vito… where are we?

Vito: Mal’s been forcing me to put on some stupid ventriquolism show.

Puppet: Mike is a stu-

Vito: Shut up!

Priya: That doll… is annoying. Let’s shut that baby up!

Puppet: If I were you… I woul- (screams in pain as he is used to break Vito’s chain)

Vito: Yes, baby! Now, time to take down this stupid Mal!

Lightning: What are… you doing?

Svetlana:…Mal is forcing me to sculpt some fish statues… out of butter! Or he’ll make me cease to exist!

Duncan: Shall I… do the honours?

Lightning: Yup.

Duncan: (breaks Svetlana’s chain) There we go…

Cuts to the outside world.

Harold: Looks like we’re winning… but Mal seems like a… pretty big threat.

Owen: Looks like they freed all of Mike’s personalities! And they’re headed… for this cool tower in the middle of his mind!

Harold: This looks… pretty ominous.

Cuts back to this tower. Mal is sitting on some throne when Mike and the rest of his personalities (and the kids) enter.

Mal: What now, Mike?

Mike: I came to take back my body. Your reign of evil is OVER!

Mal: Oh really? (pulls a lever which triggers a trap) Oh no, this would me much harder than it l… (sees Duncan free everyone with Svetlana’s chisel) why did i use regular rope?

Mike and Mal: ATTACK!

The kids fight Mal, and a few minions made out of some dark substance that he summons. Mike and Mal fight for dominance over the throne.

Mike: You may be able to strike down my friends… but you won’t be able to strike me down.

Mal: Huh, you really are stronger since the other time. But that… won’t be enough.

Mike: Oh really? Heather, do something!

Heather: On it! (blasts Mal)

Mal: No… it’s… impossible.

Mike: (kicks Mal in the head) And just like that… your reign is over.

Mal: You may have bested me again… but I will be back… stronger. (retreats into the subconscious as a white light floods the screen)

Heather: Where… are we?

Courtney: Guys! We’re back!

Harold: Well, it was a pretty great… dream you guys had.

Duncan: I escaped the daycare… and saved some realm!

Alejandro: Yup, that really is the best dream we had… ever.

Priya: Well, let’s see if that really worke-

Manitoba Smith: Shut it, Chester. Mike’s about to wake up.

Mike: (wakes up and yawns) We did it… we defeated… Mal…

Courtney: Yup. That would be one less villain to worry about for the time b-

Duncan: (hits Mike in the head)

Cuts outside the daycare

Duncan:… what? I thought it would be funny.

(Everyone screams)

Chapter Text

The episode starts in the classroom. The kids play with toys but Chef Hatchet barges in, excited to tell them something.

Chef Hatchet: KIDS! I’ve got a surprise for you!

Courtney: What is it?

Chef Hatchet: It’s KTV NIGHT!… what?

Everyone screams and run for their lives… except Raihan, he’s confused.

Raihan: It’s just a kareoke session, anything wrong with that?

Izzy: Oh, I’ll TELL YOU WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT! They become monsters, willing to ravage the entire daycare just because their song isn’t played. Here, let me show you all the tapes… in the basement

Raihan: (cringes in fear) Well… what… is inside the basement?

Izzy: Follow me.

Raihan and Izzy look for tapes of previous KTV nights in the daycare. Scary stuff are shown on the screen for brief moments, followed by a scene where dread fills Raihan’s face.

Izzy: There it is! Right next to the… furnace.

The furnace laughs in a sinister tone.

Izzy: Shut up, furnace. We got a GUEST HERE (kicks the furnace)

Furnace: I’m sorry, what?

Izzy: Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got the stuff we wanted. Now QUIT FREAKING HIM OUT!

Furnace: Alright… (frowns in disappointment)

Cuts back to the classroom. Izzy puts the tapes in the TV.

Izzy: Now if you’ll see… this may seem like old technolog-

(Raihan scrolls through ClickClock)

Izzy: SNAP OUT OF IT and pay attention to this…

Raihan: Alri- (cringes in fear as he watches the footage)

The TV plays a montage of previous KTV disasters in the following order:

Cody sings "The Rainbow Friends song" by Lankybox and gets spitballed by Duncan

—> [Duncan: Why is this piece of crap music playing in THIS DAYCARE?]

—> [Sierra: STOP HURTING MY CODY!!! (lunges at Duncan and beats him up)]

Leshawna was about to sing the vulgar part of "abcdefu" by GAYLE before Courtney switches it to "Apple" by Charli xcx

—> Leshawna: HEY! You can’t change the song!

—> Courtney: Yeah, but YOU CAN’T SWEAR! IT’S AGAINST T- (Leshawna and Courtney fight)

—> Heather: (picks up Leshawna’s microphone and sings the song)

Alejandro sings "Livin’ La Vida Loca" by Ricky Martin, before being interrupted by a screaming Leshawna, who throws her tiara at him and boos.

Sugar and Scott fight over who is singing next as Duncan and Courtney sings a duet rendition of "Paradise City" by Guns N Roses

Jude is singing "Alright" by Supergrass… as the camera zooms out to show everyone ravage the daycare whilst fighting over control of the microphone to sing with him.

Izzy: And that is why, every KTV night Chef hosts always ends… in disaster. Now, excited for KTV night, Raihan?

Raihan: (gulps)

Raihan: It’s my first day in Canada… and I think… I might be able to survive this KTV night, no matter how bad it sounds… right Lightning… Lightning?

Lightning: (stares at the camera) Probably… not. So, if we can’t escape KTV night , we shoul-

Raihan: Try to erase the more dreadful parts as much as possible?

Lightning: You read my mind, bud! HI-FIVE!

(Raihan and Lightning accidentally hit each others' faces)

Chef Hatchet: Just gotta boot up the KTV programme and… (sees the kids frozen in terror) Well, I’ll offer you a little… reward for you. The best singer gets… some free subs! I’ll be in my office… working.

Everyone: (cheers and chants "subs!" repeatedly)

Lightning: (stares and smiles)-

Raihan: (taps Lightning on the shoulder) Snap out of it, Lightning. Stick to the plan.

Lightning: Oh… right. Yeah… So, the easiest one of them all is Courtney. She hates swearing.

Chef Hatchet: Now that I have kept the kids busy… I need to design a hat for the Hat Gala this year! It’s where educators from around the world walk in some glorified boardwalk near the University of British Columbia… wearing extravagant hats… I need mine to stand out from the crowd!

Raihan: If we make her sing a song with vulgars in it, she might have to sing it! It might even get over that irrational disdain for then too! (whispers to Lightning) make her sing "Busy Woman" by Sabrina Carpenter.

Lightning: On it! (adds "Busy Woman" onto the queue)

Raihan: (passes a microphone to Courtney) here you go…

(Courtney sings "Busy Woman" flawlessly)

Raihan: It’s working... YES!

Courtney: …Well, I didn’t want your little [censored]- Wait… did I… swear? (screams) WHO DID THIS?!! (looks at Lightning and Raihan, as they stare awkwardly at her)

Lightning:…what?

Courtney: HOW DARE YOU TWO!!!

Raihan: (chuckles) Is it really… as bad as it seemed?

Courtney: well, YES! (beats up Lightning and Raihan)

Raihan: Ok, this is much harder than it looks…

Lightning: But we’re not giving up!

Izzy: But in case you two do, you can try retreating into the v-

Raihan: No. Just… no.

Courtney: Can someone skip this song?

Priya: On it! (skips the rest of "Busy Woman" and into "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift)

Lightning: This is great… wait… Priya is a competitive person… and she likes Taylor Swift.

Raihan: So, you’re saying that… if she wants to win this thing Chef set up to encourage this KTV night… she must have…

Lightning and Raihan: Put lots of Taylor Swift songs into the queue.

Lightning: And one person that does not like Taylor Swift is…

Lightning and Raihan: Scott!

20 minutes pass by. The KTV machine is still playing Taylor Swift songs (it is currently playing "tolerate it")

Lightning: Priya’s still at it…

Raihan: And looks like Scott isn’t really… tolerating it anymore. Pun intended.

(Lightning and Raihan fist bump each other)

Scott: Can you please stop playing MEDIOCRE MUSIC and give others a CHANCE?

Priya: Did you… call Taylor Swift mediocre?

Scott: Well yes b-

Priya: HOW COULD YOU.

Scott: Don’t blame me for HAVING A DIFFERENT OPINION!

(Priya and Scott fight over control of the microphone)

Sugar: (adds "That Don’t Impress Me Much" by Shania Twain onto the queue and skips the song)

Scott: Finally, a song that is actually ok to liste-

Everyone else: We can all bear Taylor Swift, she’s just… a great singer not gonna lie.

Scott: REALLY?!

Priya: Sugar, mind giving back the microphone to me because I was previously SINGING A SONG?

Sugar: Nuh uh. Those free subs are mine. MINE.

Priya: Oh, really? (starts playing "So High School" by Taylor Swift)

Sugar: GAH! YOU ASKED FOR IT!

(Priya and Sugar fight for the microphone as the song plays in the background)

Lightning: So, coaxing them into facing what they sha-don’t like didn’t work…

Raihan: Well, we’re doomed… nah, we’re not going to hide inside the vents… who knows what’s inside the vents?

(Cuts to the vents, where a monster lurks through them, before cutting back)

Raihan: Yup, I’m convinced… to never enter the daycare’s vents. There’s gotta be another way…

Lightning: Even Lightning is starting to go crazy about KTV…

Raihan: Snap out of it, bud… snap out of it…

Lightning: I’m TRYING…

Sugar: (pushes Priya away successfully) YES! THE MICROPHONE… IS MI- (loses the microphone to Leshawna as the song switches to "Deja Vu" by Beyonce featuring Jay-Z) HEY! YOU CAN’T SWITCH THE SONG!

Leshawna: Pfft, sorry for your greasy fingers, peasant. It’s MY TURN N- (Duncan fishes the microphone away)

Duncan: Whoops, looks like it’s time for a- (falls for an elaborate trap planted by Courtney)

Courtney: Looks like it’s mine no- Really, mousetraps? Is this the best you can do? (evades the mousetraps and gets anvil’d in the head)

Beth: The mousetraps are a distraction!

Beth: Learnt it from the best… well she’s technically my rival… but still.

Raihan: This… might be getting out of h- (screams as Sierra emerges from the couch)

Sierra: The microphone is not in the couch!

Raihan: WHO PUTS MICROPHONES IN COUCH- (gets put on chokehold by Sierra)

Sierra: You’re lucky you’re not raising your voice at my Cody… (lets Raihan go)

Raihan: Alright… but that’s just great. NO ONE can use the confessional for the rest of the episode.

Cuts to thirty minutes later. "good 4 u" by Olivia Rodrigo plays in the background as everyone fights over control of the microphone. The daycare looks ravaged.

Raihan: Looks like we need some adult intervention. I’ll stay there and try to stop them from fighting. Lightning, try to get Chef to intervene.

Lightning: Lightning’s on it! (runs off to Chef’s office)

Raihan: (holds a megaphone) Can we please STOP FIGHTING FOR ONE SECON- (everyone stops fighting)

Duncan: One. (everyone resumes fighting)

Raihan: This… is bad.

Cuts to Chef’s office

Lightning: (knocks on the door) Chef, can you please help us… the kids are ravaging your d- (opens the door and sees Chef’s hat. It looks… kinda ugly)

Lightning:… (closes the door) My eyes have died.

Raihan: I… couldn’t stop them…

Lightning: (trauma in his eyes) You might not want to look into Chef’s office…

Raihan: That’s the last resort… because there is always something in the (opens Chef’s door and sees the hat)

Chef Hatchet: You know, I’m kinda busy now so can you please check back again LATER?

Raihan: (closes the door) Yup, Chef’s office is definitely… off limits.

Lightning: I know this is not related to the plot but… do you think that we’d make a hat better than Chef, in some reality TV show where we’re adults… and we’re challenged to make hats?

Raihan: What… I don’t… get the whole qu-

Cuts to an alternate universe with Lightning and Raihan as adults. They shrug before the camera cuts back

Lightning: Lightning… would take that as a sha-no.

Raihan: How are we going to… stop these students from destroying the daycare… I can’t even hear the music anymore!

Lightning: If we can’t stop the chaos from the root of their problem, we gotta out-sing them.

Raihan: Get your microphones and comically large speakers out, we’ve got a daycare to o-

Lightning: Uhh, sha-Lightning doesn’t have any of it.

Raihan: Alright, time to enter… the basement. Again

Lightning: Not the basement!

Raihan: I know, it’s full of scary stuff… but we got no other choice.

Cuts to the basement again. Lightning and Raihan enter the basement, scared, trying to look for two extra microphones and comically oversized speakers.

Lightning: Where… are the microphones?

Raihan: I don’t know?! This is the first time I’m in the daycare? How am I supposed to kn-

Furnace: (laughs evilly)

Lightning and Raihan (unamused): Shut up.

Furnace: whatever.

Lightning: Now, time to find the- (sees the bats and spiders inside) This is fine… everything is sha-fine…

Raihan: Yeah, this is a totally normal basement… right?

Cuts to the classroom. Holes are present in the walls, with broken doors and windows, and misplaced furniture. The TV, somehow not broken, sits in the middle whilst everyone fights with each other as "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten plays in the background.

Cuts to the basement.

Lightning: Where are you… speakers? Come out come out wherever you a- (sees Sewer Mike running away with toilet paper) Let’s pretend sha-Lightning did NOT see that.

Raihan: I found two microphones! Lemme test them… (turns both of them) Testing… 1 2 3… It works! (his voice gets amplified so loudly the basement begins to crumble)… [censored]

Lightning: Let’s go, Raihan. We need to GO! Lightning found the speakers…

Raihan: Wait… but how are we going to get to the surface…?

Lightning: Well… (thinks for a while) let’s abandon the comically oversized speakers and RUN FOR IT!

(Raihan and Lightning run out of the basement with only two microphones)

Lightning: Phew… that was… too sha-close…

Raihan: But now… when do we enter the daycare… and out-sing this… chaos going on outside?

Lightning: Well, we wait…

("Temporary Fix" by One Direction starts playing)

Raihan: It’s go time…

Lightning and Raihan emerge from the doors that lead to the basement, singing the song. Raihan takes the first verse and chorus and Lightning takes the second, and both sing the bridge and final chorus

Chef Hatchet: I’m back fr- what… is this singing? This is epic! (Sings along as well)

Courtney: So, who gets the subs? Tell us… TELL US!

Chef Hatchet: (shrugs) Lightning and Raihan get free subs!

Courtney: WHAT?! But… I sang lots of songs… I sang your f-

Izzy (from the vents): Yeah, you were mostly fighting for control of the microphones. (goes back into vent)

Courtney: NOOOOO!

Raihan: Now now, Courtney… don’t be a sore loser. I’ll… share my free subs with you… After we- (witnesses the daycare get destroyed)

Courtney: Great, just great. Now NO ONE CAN GET SU-

Passer-by 1: KTV Night in the daycare?

Courtney: (sighs) yes…

Cuts outside the daycare as the episode ends.

Chapter Text

The episode starts in a hospital. Alejandro and Raj are on hospital beds, beacuse of food poisoning. Heather and Bowie enter the hospital room.

Heather: Hi, my sugar daddy… ya ok?

Alejandro: Yup… just need to recover for a few days after eating that lunch my mom prepared.

Raj: (weary) I like my cheese mouldy… brah…

Alejandro: My mom said that it’s a "trendy lunch".

Bowie: (passes Raj and Alejandro some medicine) Here, this should help ease the food poisoning a bit. (feeds Alejandro medicine)

Raj: Thanks…

Bowie: Bowie aims for the goalpost… and sh- (the medicine accidentally hits Raj’s face) Oops… you’ve got a little something… on your forehead.

Raj: It’s alright…

Bowie: Here, let me get it for you (wipes the medicine away and feeds it normally)

Heather: So, Bowie… you know what day is it?

Bowie: Valentine’s Day! And we’re the youngest two with boyfriends in this time and place.

Heather: Exactly… and you know, it’s time to spread the love to everyone in this daycare! No…

Heather and Bowie: THE WORLD!

Owen: (enters the hospital room) Hi, Heather and Bowie… wait, did you say, "spread love"?

Heather: Yup!

Owen: Well, my cousin needs two volunteers to test his latest love-related invention out… are you, interested?

Bowie: Yup! Just lead us to whoever your cousin is and… we’ll test the thing out… Let’s go Heather…

Bowie (to Raj): Don’t worry, babe… we’ll be fine…

Raj (to Bowie): Alright…

Cuts to some evil lair

Heather: What… is this?

Bowie: Where… are we?

Max: (evil laugh) I have been expecting some volunteers to test out my latest invention…

Bowie: (unamused)… And who, are you?

Max: Who am I? WHO AM I?! I, am the great MAX MAYHEM! The greatest supervillain of the WORLD!… and Owen’s cousin. Anyways, he told me that you two are interested in testing out some… love potions I made for Valentines day… I always wanted to shoot them at this beautiful girl (shows an image of a four year old Scarlett) so she’d fall in love with me and we can TAKE OVER THE WORLD TOGETHER! But it might be a bit awry, so, I needed volunteers. (hands Bowie and Heather a bow and a quiver of arrows)

Bowie: Are the arrows laced with the potion?

Max: Correct, my evil minions. Once the potion enters a person’s body… they will fall in love with whomever they see first. You can use it however you like, break up your enemy’s relationship, force someone to fall in love with you. But be warned… the more y-

Heather and Bowie leave to shoot the arrows at whoever they see

Max:…and they’re gone.

Max: I was about to tell them to not… abuse it too much. But you know what happens when you have already taken minions do your bidding that is related to love. Yup, Valentine’s day is going to be ruined… (evil laugh) But, I would run out of arrows. Anyways, I need to make an antidote. Stat.

Cuts to the daycare

Bowie: So… who to shoot first…

Heather: Let’s see if it could increase the love with someone with lots of love to give away… (sees Sierra) Yup, let’s shoot Sierra.

Sierra and Cody are in a tea party, with a few stuff toys

Sierra: So, my Cody… how much sugar do you need in your tea?

Cody: I’m dating!

Sierra: A few cubes of sugar? Or lots of them… just like how sweet your cute face is.

Cody: I’d take five cub- (Sierra gets shot by Bowie) Sierra, you ok?

Sierra: Yup… do you mind if I help clean your cubby hole for you after pick up ti- (gets shot over and over again by Bowie)

Cody: You got a little… something on your back.

Sierra: It’s alright… (comes concerningly close to Cody) You are mine… and only mine… No one will have you but me…

Bowie (looks at Cody and Sierra): Yup, that works on existing relationships.

Heather: Now, let’s see who to shoot next…

Courtney: (does a work of art) UGH, this art is NOT PERFECT, (throws it away) i must redo it…

Duncan: Courtneys already doing good enough! She- (gets shot by Heather) 

Duncan: (edges himself to Courtney) Hey there, baby doll… wanna go to Splash Madness Kingdom? I managed to snag… (shows two tickets to Splash Madness Kingdom) two tickets…

Bowie (from afar): How did he even get two tickets to Splash Madness Kingdom?

Heather (from afar): Don’t ask me, party boy.

Courtney: I’m not interested… I’m busy trying to-

Duncan draws a piece of art for Courtney

Duncan: So, babe, how do you like this?

Courtney: This… is… PERFECT! Thank you, Duncan… thank you…

Courtney: Duncan… is a better artist than me?! GAH!

Bowie: Yup, Duncan and Courtney… are together… I guess opposites attract.

Heather: We’ve got lots of arrows on hand… let’s spread some more love!

Bowie: I wonder how Alejandro and Raj are doing…

Cuts to the hospital, again. Priya and Wayne enter the hospital room.

Priya: Hey, Alejandro… you doing great?

Alejandro: Yup… just starting to recover from…

Raj:…food poisoning…

Wayne: Well, it’s… great that you’re feeling better, Rajie.

Raj: Thanks. Anyways, I won’t be able to come for training today…

Wayne: It’s alright. Coach would understand…

Priya: Hey there, I’m Priya. What’s your name?

Wayne: Oh… me? I’m Wayne. And this… is Raj. I’m team captain of my hockey team, the…

Wayne and Raj: SNOW OWLS! HOOT HOOT!

Priya: Oh… uh… that’s interesting…

Wayne: Wanna learn how to play some hockey?

Priya: Oh… sure.

Cuts back to the daycare.

Bowie: Do you think these arrows work on food?

Heather: Well, you’ll never know till you try… (shoots a brownie Owen is eating as he turns his head to Heather)

Owen: Wait, is it me or is Heather… so… BEAUTIFUL!!! (runs to Heather and hugs him)

Heather (hugged): Help… me…

Bowie: On it… (pulls Owen away)

Owen: NOOO… I… need… HEATHERrrrrr (gets trapped in the basement)

Jude: Hey there, dudes… what’cha doing?

Heather: Nothing… I have a question for you… are you… in love?

Jude: (turns away and sees Duncan) I gotta g- (gets shot by Heather)

Cuts to Duncan and Courtney. They are completing a puzzle together. Jude runs over and reads out a poem to Duncan.

Jude: Roses are red, violets are blue. I like my skateboard much less than you…

Duncan: Well, thanks… but I’m with Courtney.

Jude: It’s alright… in case Courtney breaks up with you, I’m your second option.

Duncan: NUH UH, COURTNEY IS MINE.

Jude: Really… oh Courtney, Duncan soiled your pants when he came over to your house on New Years Day.

Courtney: YOU DID WHAT?!

Duncan:… I did not do that, I was on the piano, remember?

Courtney: OH WE ARE SO D-

Duncan: COURTNEY! WAIT UP! I’M SORRY… even though I didn’t do it…

Courtney: Sorry, but WE. ARE BREAKING UP- (gets shot by Bowie) You know what, I take it back. I love you forever and ever…

Jude: Dudette, Duncan is mine.

Courtney: FIND YOUR OWN PARTNER!

Jude: Nuh uh, Duncan is mine… forever and EVER! (Jude and Courtney fight for Duncan)

Duncan: Ahhhh, I know who I am rooting for…

Sierra creeps behind Duncan with a knife…

Sierra: That’s what you get for hurting my Cody…

Duncan: AAAAH! GET AWAY FROM ME! (runs away and gets chased by Sierra)

Bowie: Did we just… turn Sierra into a yandere?

Heather: She was always… a yandere. But I never… seen her with a knife before.

Raihan (runs over to Bowie and Heather): Hey… do you know… where to hide Lightning? Sierra’s after him.

Lightning: She… tried to… sha-KILL ME! For "trying to steal away my Cody". I’M JUST HIS FRIEND!

Bowie: Try… the basement.

Raihan: NO. NOT THE BA-

Heather: Do you want to survive? Or get stabbed and die?

Raihan: (sighs) fine… (runs into the basement with Lightning)

Bowie: Let’s… (thinks for a while as the camera slowly zooms into him) do some more shooting!

Heather and Bowie run out of the daycare.

A montage of shooting starts… which lasts around 2 minutes (in the show, 2 hours pass)

Cuts to the hospital room, after the montage

Priya: (scores a goal) YES! I DID IT!

Wayne: Nice job, eh. Not many people are able to score a goal against me. You’re a natural at this, what’cha think about this hockey gameplay, Rajie?

Raj: Totally awesome, Wayner!

Alejandro: Ahh, that was pretty g-

Wayne: What is going on outside…?

Raj: This… looks horrible.

Heather: Hi guys…

Bowie: Just spreading a bit of love around…

Alejandro: What did you do, that- (hears a car crash)

Raj: This… is getting pretty bad.

Cuts outside. People are crashing cars, hugging each other excessively. Some people are fighting each other for one person. People get cheated on, everywhere. Even kids were affected by the love potion. Sierra is chasing Duncan down the street while Jude and Courtney fight for Duncan’s love.

Chef Hatchet:…So, how’s the atmosphere around here, Ms Norris?

Cuts back into the hospital room.

Owen: (enters the room) Hey g- OMG. What are you looking at?

Alejandro: Looks like Valentine’s Day… just got ruined.

Heather: Yup… too much love… really is a bad thing.

Max: (enters the hospital room in a rather… supervillain-like manner) Hello there, fools… how’s Valentine’s Day going…

Owen: That’s my cousin.

Bowie: We might have… increased the love around us by… a huge lot… that it’s getting pretty b- (hears a fight outside)

Wayne: Stay inside… the aliens might be breaking in.

Alejandro: Uhh, mi amigo, there is no alien invasion. It’s just… people mad in love.

Heather: We might have… used the love potions irresponsibly.

Raj and Alejandro: YOU DID WHAT?!

Bowie: We thought… we wanted to share the joy of having a lover by your side to everyone… and this happened… the chaos and everything… you know what this means?

Max: That I must have put a bit too much love into it…

Everyone else:…Max is a lousy s-

Owen: DON’T CALL MY COUSIN THAT!

Max: And just so you know, in case things go badly… I managed to create an antidote to the love potion. We still have time to fix Valentine’s Day… Priya and Alejandro, spray the clouds with this powdered version of this antidote. It should make it rain the antidote everywhere.

Alejandro: But… I still got food poisoning…

Heather: You’re stronger than this, mi amor… you can do this. This would be one of the greatest adventures you had… Think about it!

Alejandro: You’re right! It’s an adventure that’s deadly… perfect for Alejandro B-

Max: The rest of you, especially my minions, fix the rest with new arrows that have the antidote laced on it.

Raj: And what about you?

Max: I’ll fix the love potion… I wanted to use this on my supervillain crush… Scarlett…

Heather: Guys, let’s go save Valentine’s Day!

Cuts outside. Chaos is ongoing.

Bowie: This… might be much harder than it looks.

Raj: We can do this, babe. We’ve got love on our side… and Wayne.

Wayne: Ready to save the world with my best buds! Let’s do this…

Bowie: Wayne, this isn’t the tim- how did you get your superhero costume?

Wayne: Don’t ask me… I always got my ways…

Priya: (shoots Duncan, Courtney and Jude)

Jude: What… just happened?

Duncan: I was…

Courtney: in love with Duncan?

Owen: It’s alright buds, at least you’re safe… let’s go. We’ve got a holiday to save.

Courtney: Uhm actually, Valentine’s Day is not a holida-

Duncan: No one asked, babe.

Courtney: HEY! STOP IT, DUNCAN.

Wayne: Is Valentine’s Day a holiday… I guess we’ll never know…

Raj: Yup, no one will ever know…

Bowie: i just came to say, Valentine’s Day is not a holiday.

Jude: If we’re saving Valentine’s Day… it’s time for the b-

Courtney: (glares at Jude) Please don’t strip naked in front of hundreds of people…

Jude: What? Millions of people saw my naked body on national TV.

Courtney: (sighs) Just… no.

Jude: Fine…

Raj: Heather and Wayne, fake left to distract this power forward (points to Sierra). You should have a one-man advantage.

Heather: Are you crazy?! She has a KNIFE. A SHARP KNIFE!

Wayne: Eh, I think I can handle Sierra with a knife. Wonder why she has a knife…

Sierra (far away, running off): Come out, come out wherever you are…

Raj: The rest of us, handle the rest of the evidently love-struck people over… you know what, everywhere… We are clearly short-handed, so no blind passes.

Bowie: On it (runs off and shoots a few people with the antidote)

Raj: I’m so glad I like this guy…

Bowie, Raj and Owen shoot as many people with the antidote downtown… meanwhile, Wayne and Heather… are on a wild goose chase after Sierra. Wayne manages to hit Sierra with an arrow.

Heather: Is it me… or… did you shoot Sierra with… an arrow of love?

Wayne: I can’t tell the d- (smells the love scent from the arrow he just shot) This is bad…

Sierra: (turns her head around) You won’t bring me down… and NO ONE WILL BE ALIVE TO TAKE AWAY MY CODY!

Heather: [censored]

Wayne: Stand back, Heather, I got this (shoots Sierra with more love arrows)

Heather: NO, THAT’S THE WRONG ARROWS!

Sierra gets more insane thanks to the arrows

Heather: Thanks a lot, puck-for-brains.

Wayne: (about to reach his breaking point) …Why not YOU do it yourself?

Heather: Fine… watch. And learn. (also shoots the wrong arrow at Sierra)… [censored]

Heather: How did I… shoot the wrong arrows?

Wayne: Let me check… did you…

Heather and Wayne: Get the wrong quiver…?

Sierra chases Heather and Wayne back to the daycare. They run inside and try to hide inside the basement.

Lightning: AAH! Oh, it’s you guys, what… brings you here?

Wayne: Psychopath… chasing us… with a KNIFE!

Raihan: Hide here. She’d never find us h-

Sierra: There you are… (smiles creepily) Now, with you guys gone, no one will be able to steal MY CODY!

Heather: RUN!

Meanwhile, in the air… the school bus is flying in the air, sprinkling out the powdered antidote

Alejandro: Looks like… the intense love thing that that creepy supervillain guy is talking about… is going away! Maybe we don’t need the-

Priya: I already sprinkled the rest of the antidote… and it should be raining in 3… 2… 1.

The rain came pouring down and flood the daycare… except that it is actually antidote. Sierra is about to stab the kids, except she gets caught in the antidote and lost the effects of the love potion…

Sierra: Where… am I?

Wayne: You’re safe now, Sierra…

Sierra: Thanks guys… I didn’t know… what got into me in the last five hours…

Heather: You know, it might as well be nap time… Let’s get you all rested up for pick-up time.

Alejandro: Hey, mi amigos! You ok?

Priya: We managed to… cure everyone with the antidote…

Raj: Yup, we managed to…

Cuts outside the now destroyed daycare as the episode ends

Sierra: Uh… I think we should have naptime in the basement instead…

Everyone: Whatever… (screams in horror)

Cuts outside the daycare.

Chapter Text

The kids are eating their lunches. Tom brings out some donuts… right in front of Owen.

Owen: Hey there… can I have one donut?

Tom: Well… (thinks for a while)

Owen: Pretty please…

Tom: I’m still considering it, thank you very m-

Owen: PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP?!

Tom: Uhh… fine. (passes him a donut)

Owen: YAY! Thank you! (chows down at the donut in a messy and animalistic manner)

Tom: Yup… that’s a good… Owen…

Harold: So, Tom, how’s the daycare like?

Tom: It’s great… everyone’s been telling me not to enter the basement, especially… (points at Lightning and Raihan) these two.

Harold: Last time I’ve been there… we were trying to destroy some stickers because a certain… someone got insane.

Courtney: We don’t talk ab-

Beth: Yeah, we were there. Also can you let us have the screen for a second? You’ve got way too many lines.

Jude: Yeah, dudette, even Wayne has more screen time than me!

Courtney: Alright, guess I’ll go play Leshawna’s new board game with the rest…

Leshawna: Hey guys! Wanna play some Dress to Impress? The board game, not the Roblox game.

Harold: Uhh… I think we’re good.

Leshawna: Alright… don’t cry when you’re missing out on all this fun! (plays Dress to Impress music) LET’S DRESS UP!

Chef Hatchet: This looks fun, can I join kids?

Leshawna: Eh, sure.

Chef Hatchet: (squeals in excitement) this is going to be so much fun!

Owen:…what did I just see?

Tom: All I see is these two getting traumatised further!

Cuts to Lightning and Raihan, who stares right into the souls of the viewers, before cutting back to Tom.

Tom: Anyways, wanna buy some more donuts? I managed to save up $50 worth of pocket money.

Harold: YES!

Owen: More donuts for US! YEAH BABY!

Bridgette: Hi, guys! Can I join you?

Harold: Sure!

Bridgette: Thanks, guys. You’re the best! Hey, let’s invite those two along!

Cuts to Lightning and Raihan, who’s still sitting there traumatised.

Bridgette: Hey guys, let‘s go! We’re getting some donuts!

Lightning: Donuts? I’m in.

Raihan: But how are we supposed to afford them… we don’t have m-

Scott: Looking for this? (shows Chef’s credit card)

Bridgette: H… HOW DID YOU GET HIS CREDIT CARD?

Scott: He left it in his office. Anyways, you’ll have to tag me along for this donut adventure… and I want a cut of the donuts. I helped you buy them by getting the card for you.

Bridgette: Alright.

Lightning: Fair enough.

Raihan: Justified.

Beth: Understandable.

Beth: Donuts are the best dessert… well not really, but they’re really good!

Tom: (eats the rest of the donuts) I can’t get enough of these… donuts!

Harold: Yup… he loves donuts… a lot.

Cuts to the donut shop.

MacArthur: Sorry, we’re out of donuts. Come back later…

Harold: WHAT?

Beth: We came all the way… just for NOTHING?! 

Jude: Well, that’s a shame.

Tom: Need… more… DONUTS!

Noah: Easy there, buds… you don’t want to trash an entire donut shop just because they have no donuts.

MacArthur: We have one… but we had to throw it away after she licked it (points to a dog that looks like Owen)

Noah: Oh, it’s that dog again…

Owen: WHERE ARE THE DONUTS?

MacArthur: So kids, wanna know where these donuts come from?

Owen: YES!

Tom: TELL US!

MacArthur: Deal. But only on one condition.

Bridgette: TELL US!

MacArthur: You’ll have to follow me… through this door. That’s where the donuts are found.

Tom: Alright… let’s do this!

The kids and MacArthur go through the door and into an unfamiliar place. It is filled with dense jungle, except with the scent of donuts.

Harold: Where… are we?

Bridgette: Where did the exit go?

Tom: Are… we… TRAPPED?!

MacArthur: Yup. But the exit is still there.

Tom: Phew…

MacArthur: It’s a few miles away!

Tom: WHAT?!

MacArthur: You guys are here for the donuts, so FOLLOW ME! We don’t want any casualties in this adventure.

Bridgette: Alright, madam… So, where do we go?

MacArthur: Madam… MADAM?!… What? I’m not mad, nobody has ever called me that before… (tears up in joy) But honestly, would’ve been better if she’d refer to me as MacArthur.

Raihan: Hello, are there any bars here? I’m not getting any receptio- OH MY GOD. (takes a picture of the ravine)

Harold: (gets mesmerised by the ravine) No… way…

Tom: So, are the donuts on the other side of… this river?

Cuts to the river, which is made out of donut frosting and sprinkles.

Owen: SO… TASTY

Owen attempts to jump in but gets held back by MacArthur.

MacArthur: Nuh uh, kid. You can’t jump in.

Owen: But… WHY?!

MacArthur: It’s too dangerous for you kids to swim inside. Dangerous. And if you want to cross this ravine, you’ll have to cross… this bridge.

Cuts to a bridge that is horribly maintained.

Jude: Uh, dudette, is this bridge safe to walk across?

Lightning: Sha-please, this bridge seems pretty safe to me.

Jude: It clearly isn- 

The bridge breaks in two

Jude: Yup, that bridge is definitely broken.

MacArthur: Well, looks like we’ve got no other choice but to-

Owen: JUMP IN?

Cuts to across the bridge. MacArthur and the kids are still on the other side, as a tree tall enough, and have a conveniently square trunk gets cut down and falls over forming a more secure bridge.

Jude: Now that bridge is definitely safe.

Owen: Aww man, I wish I could jump into the river…

Tom: Ya sure? ’Cos that looks like suicide to me.

Scott: Do it. It’ll be epic.

Owen: You know what? No.

Cuts to another part of that weird dimension, this time in a short montage of traversing the jungle-like area with an instrumental of "gold rush" by Taylor Swift.

Cuts to a less forested area, this time… donuts grow on trees.

Owen: Donuts… on trees? THIS IS THE BEST DREAM EVER!!!

Tom: This… is… HEAVEN! (takes a few donuts)

MacArthur: You should not take all the donuts from the trees. If a tree loses all its donuts… it withers and di-

Owen: (takes off all the donuts off a tree and it withers and dies) Oops…

MacArthur: Yup, don’t be too greedy kids… It’s best if you can take one for the road. Or two, this hill looks pretty high but it’s a sight worth to see.

Raihan: A sight… worth to see? That would DEFINITELY be a great place for a Selfiegram post.

The kids and MacArthur climb up the hill, most of them get tired… except Lightning.

MacArthur: How is… he… not tired yet?

Raihan: I don’t know… he managed to do ten one-armed pull ups… under one minute… I can only do around 3…

Bridgette: Is it over now? It’…

Harold: Don’t… ever… give… up… we… can… sti- (falls over)

Lightning: Don’t worry guys! sha-LIGHTNING’s coming! (runs back and helps pull his friends)

Raihan: You guys doing great?

Tom: These donuts… are… worth it…

Owen gets pulled by Lightning and leaves a thumbs up (and a donut too)

Scott: I bet… the others… have it much easier than us…

Cuts back to the daycare. The kids are busy playing Dress to Impress: The Board Game

Courtney: Strike a pose 28 or lose an outfit card… (does the pose 28)

Leshawna: YES QUEEN! SLAYYY!!!!!

MacArthur and the kids arrive at the top of the hill

Scott: So, this is the view from here… looks… AMAZING!

Raihan: Everyone, say cheese! (takes a wefie with everyone)

MacArthur: And here… are three donuts. They are said to have gifts inside… but if you eat them in he-

Owen: (eats a donut immediately and finds ? in a donut) AAAAAAH! SCARY GIRL!

?: Huh, Scary Girl… that seems like a great nickname… (squeals in a sinister tone)

Tom: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Everyone pushes the two donuts down the other side of the hill trying to run from Scary Girl. They enter a cave with the two donuts.

Lightning: Phew… that was too… sha-close…

Tom: Where… are we? And why are there half-eaten donuts all over the floor?

MacArthur: Welcome… to the bat cave. You see these bats there? These are called Donut Bats… they’re native to this weird place… and take whatever donuts they can find. Like Owen, except they’re more responsible with handling the donut trees. And don’t even think of touching the donuts they managed to harves-

Owen: (licks a donut) I love donuts so much… What?

MacArthur: Kid, I’m sorry to say this… but YOU DOOMED US ALL!

(The donut bats fly after the kids… and MacArthur)

Tom: So there’s Scary Girl outside the cave… and these bats in this cave. Where do we go? Deeper. There’s gotta be another exit in these caves.

Everyone runs in different directions in the cave, trying to find an exit. Tom and Owen take the two large donuts and are chased by a lot of donut bats.

Owen: Can I eat these donuts now?

Tom: Just wait until we are safe… which means it is not the time to eat them…

Owen: Well, what are we going to do about these bats?

Tom: I suggest we sacrifice one of the donuts.

Owen: Are you crazy? It-

Tom: Just do it if you want us to live.

Owen: No.

Cuts to another group (Bridgette, Scott and Jude). They manage to befriend the bats by giving them some donuts.

Jude: So, bat dudes, do you know where the exit to this cave is, other than the one we entered through.

The donut bats go on a rather oddly specific direction.

Scott: Does anyone know why are they going in this oddly specific direction?

Bridgette: I think they want us to… follow them!

Cuts to the third group (Lightning, Harold, Raihan and MacArthur)

Lightning: Uhh… I think we lost them…

MacArthur: And great… now WE’RE LOST!

Harold: Do you hear this… flapping of wings sound?

Lightning: Does this mean…

Raihan: More bats coming after us?!

The donut bats fly above them, completely ignoring them.

Bridgette: Hey guys! The exit is this way!

Jude: These bat dudes know where to go! I think that’s our only way back home!

Lightning: Change of plans… we follow these guys!

MacArthur: Alright… let’s GO!

Cuts back to Tom and Owen. They are clearly cornered.

Owen: NO, I DON’T WANT TO GIVE THESE DONUTS UP!

Tom: If we do it, we might survive. Heck, they might show us a way out!

Owen: But the donuts… they’re-

Tom: I know. But if you want to survive… you’ll have to sacrifice one of these big donuts.

Owen: THEY’RE… TASTY!

Tom: It’s alright, bud. It’s just a large donut. They’re about the same. We can buy more donuts tomorrow.

Owen: You’re right… (gives the bats a large donut) Please don’t harm us…

The donut bats swarm around the large donut and unveil some portal thing… in pieces. They manage to assemble it for them and signal them to enter it.

Owen: Thanks guys…

Tom: See, I told you it’ll be worth it!

Tom and Owen enter the portal and reunite with the rest in the donut shop.

MacArthur: So kids, that’s where we get these donuts from! That’s also why they taste better than other donuts.

Owen: Can I eat the other large donut now?

MacArthur: Sure, kid… But it‘s going to cost y-

Scott: (pays MacArthur some money with the card) Is this enough?

MacArthur: (checks) and yup. You paid the correct amount… somehow.

Owen: YAY! (eats the large donut and floods the donut shop with donuts. The donuts form an avalanche that leads them all the way back to the daycare.

Tom: Man, this really is a fun adventure… And we get lots of donuts from it!

The camera zooms out.

Chef Hatchet: Uhh kids, why are there a lot of donuts there?

Chapter Text

The kids are playing in the playground. Noah runs over, someone more excited than usual

Noah: Hey guys!

Owen: What up, buddy? (hugs Noah hardly)

Noah: Can you… please let me… go? (gets let go)…anyways… I manage to get in to a new game show, "Annoy Your Roommates!"

Cricket chirps can be heard

Duncan: Nice fake cricket, Scott!

Scott: I’m always be prepared for a joke, man… but thanks!

CONFESSIONAL:

Duncan: Scott…good joke? Finally.

Noah: It’s all about being passive-aggressive enough to be a pain in th-

Raj: Fart? (farts and laughs it off until Noah requests $1.00 from him)

Raj: What? Why do you want one dollar out of nowhere?

Noah: I’m gonna Wenmo request you for every fart joke you make.

Scott: Fair enough. Fart jokes are overused. I bet they, ran out of gas. (laughs and ignores the multiple Wenmo requests)

Alejandro: That the best you can do? Watch this. (charms all the ladies in the daycare, they’re FOUR)

Leshawna: Ahhhhhh

Courtney: Hi, Alejandro…

Beth: Alejandro is looking so good… I could kiss him

Heather: Sorry, BFF, but Alejandro is… mine…

Beth: Oh right, he already is.

Sierra:… NO. YOU’LL NOT STEAL ME FROM MY CODY!

Cody: Ahhh… Alejandr-

Sierra: (kisses Cody) Snap out of it, Cody Wody!!!

Alejandro: I just need to raise funds to pay Priya for… well… helping me train for "Fall Harder: The Extreme Parkour Challenge". I managed to clinch first place. Yes… first place.

A total of $25.00 is transferred to Alejandro’s Wenmo account… but Noah Wenmo requests $25.00 from him. Alejandro pays him 1 cent.

Noah: Huh, you really are good at this game.

Alejandro: Thanks, Noah.

CONFESSIONAL:

Alejandro: (pays Priya a measly 1 cent) Done. I did my share of the promise.

Cuts to some room full of CCTV cameras

Blaineley: Welcome to "Annoy Your Roomates!" I’m your host, Blaineley, and today, ten hapless people have to share a hotel room and annoy each other so much they’re the last one standing! And we’ve got toddlers participating here, so… this might be a lot harder for the adults.

Cuts to a fancy dining room… where the show takes place. Noah, Julia and MK enter the room… with some other people (4 men and 3 women).

Noah: This is going to be eas-

Julia sets her phone volume pretty high. The texting noises irritates everyone in the room.

Man 1: Can you please TURN IT DOWN?

Julia smirks and switches to play Dress to Impress.

Julia: Yess… these wannabe models won’t even stand a chance.

Man 1: Really? YOU’RE-

Julia: Grounded? That’s your only punishment? You bore me… like a lot. I bet your kids really pretend to love you everytime you see them, but when you don’t, they mouth the three most honest words they know: "I Hate You".

Man 1: You really got some nerve kid, so GET OU-

Julia: Excuse me, this is a game about getting some nerve, doofus. And it seems like you’re at your breaking point. Get out of here, if you value your sanity (increases the volume of her phone)

Woman 1: This girl… is so…

Julia: Loud? Thanks for the compliment! (smirks)

CONFESSIONAL:

Julia: Ever since Miss Four Year Old, some clown on Selfiegram named "HammerlockeDragon241" recorded a poorly recorded video of ME absolutely demolishing some crybaby in a dinosaur costume? What am I supposed to do? Cry about it like a girl and my facade would? No. I decided to give that brat his own medicine for being such a pain in the neck. And HammerlockeDragon241? He posted that scene under #TheRealJulia and all my fame I harnessed… was GONE! GONE! But, it came back stronger than ever now that the beans (takes out a can of beans and spills them all over the floor)

Julia:… are spilled. I even made a new friend that’s here with me today~! Thanks a lot, HammerlockeDragon241!

Man 1: UGH, these kids are so annoying!

Blaineley (from the speakers): And oh wait, you can check on how much money is left through the money meter in the bedroom.

MK: On it! (runs to the bedroom)

Julia: Then why not, leave?

Man 1: No. I’m winning this-

Julia: For your kids that hate you unironically? Please, please, please, don’t make a fool of yourself.

Man 1: (taps Woman 2’s shoulder) Babe, let’s go.

Woman 2: You know, this show might be a waste of time after all.

Man 1 and Woman 2 leave the room and are eliminated.

CONFESSIONAL:

MK: This might be much easier than I thought it would be. (laughs evilly)

Woman 1: So, kids, wanna hear a story?

MK: Not interested.

Woman 1: Alright.

Woman 1 takes out a chemistry textbook and reads it upside down and speaks Chemistry-related jargon, disturbing the rest of the remaining competitors.

Woman 3: I think I need… to barf (runs out of the room)

Noah Wenmo requests Woman 1 $50.

Woman 1: (pays $1) Really?

CONFESSIONAL:

Julia: Wenmo requests just to annoy people are so 2010.

Woman 1 continues reading as Noah keeps sending her endless Wenmo requests.

MK: Thank god I never forget this baby… (pulls out a Drone of Despair and uses it to steal the chemistry textbook)

Woman 1: HEY! Give it back to me!

MK: Oh really? (throws it out of the room)

Woman 1: Nope. That’s definitely a goner.

MK steals Man 4’s phone and drains his back account.

Man 4: Hey… where did my phone go?

MK: You mean, this? (throws it outside)

Man 4: NOOOOOooo (runs outside to get the phone and is out of the game)

Blaineley (from the speakers): Looks like six of you still remain! And I am starting to think if they actually know how to win the game.

Man 3: So, kids… wanna, play a game?

Noah: Sure.

Man 3: (pulls out a game that he secretly rigged in his favour)

Cuts to ten minutes later

Noah: UGH, this is the 40th time you’ve WON THIS GAME!

Blaineley (from the speakers): Welcome to the halfway point. 50 thousand dollars remain, so better annoy your roommates fast! You only got thirty minutes left!

Man 2: Can someone please tell this girl to KEEP HER PHONE VOLUME DOWN?

Julia: Can someone please tell this man to please give me some privacy?

Man 2: Only if you STOP USING YOUR PHONE THIS LOUDLY!

Julia: Oh no, someone who is secretly not appreciated by his children, the same trope I see in parents! Now, leave me alone. I got a game of Dress to Impress to win!

Man 3: You know, let’s just play Dress to Impress instead.

Noah: Nah, it’s not my type of game.

Man 3: Sure, whatever.

Noah: (goes back to watching WeTube videos)

Man 3 starts to swell up because his strat didn’t work on Noah. Well, it almost did.

Noah: You know, I’ll send you $20 if you leave.

Man 3: How about… no.

Noah: It’s starting to run dry… and you might not win. If you leave now, you’ll get a guaranteed $20. If not, you can risk losing all the money. Look! There’s only 39k remaining! (The camera shows the money meter in the bedroom)

Man 3: Nah. Now if you mind, I’ve got a game of Dress to Impress to win.

CONFESSIONAL:

Noah: I bet his friends make fun of him for playing Dress to Impress.

Man 3: UGH! Why can’t I get lots of stars?!

Julia: You just suck at the game.

Man 3: I… suck at a game? (cries and leaves the room)

Noah: I’LL GIVE YOU THE $20 NOW! (sends Man 3 $20)

MK: Woah, how did you send that guy $20?

Noah: (smiles) Guess.

Julia: You know, let’s show these adults that us four year olds… are a force to be reckoned with. I say we form an alliance and really piss them off.

MK: Oh yeah, bestie… that’s such a great idea!

Noah: Fine, whatever, that would definitely not backfire.

A two minute montage of the kids annoying the adults play in the following order:

Julia ruins Woman 1’s makeup.

MK and Noah wedgie Man 2.

Woman 1 falls for a elaborate trap set up by MK

MK drains Woman 1’s Wenmo account.

Blaineley (from the speakers): You guys have ten minutes left!

Man 2 leaves the room after being squirted with water guns by Julia and MK.

Woman 1 leaves the room after MK filled her pants with sand

Blaineley: Looks like the one hour you have is almost up… and you only have one minute.

The kids are busy trying to push each other out.

CONFESSIONAL:

Julia: If pranks don’t work, resort to violence.

CONFESSIONAL:

MK: It’s just a catfight, we’re still friends.

CONFESSIONAL:

Noah: Oh I am so winning this.

Julia: Give up, butt knuckles. You can’t win a catfight against me. Half-heartedly learning yoga can have their benefits

MK: Nuh uh, (kicks Julia in the butt) none of us will go down that e-

Julia: (punches Noah in the groin) How’s that for "none of us will go down that easy"

Noah: (screams in pain and evilly cuts Julia’s hair) That’s what you get for hitting me in the groin.

MK: JESUS CHRIST! ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SHOW THIS?!

Julia: MY HAIR! You… gave me a mullet!

Blaineley (from the speakers): Looks like your one hour is up! Nobody wins the money!

Julia: NOOOOOOOOoooo!

CONFESSIONAL:

MK: Come on, Julia. It’s not that bad. Business in the front, party in the back… it’s the best of both worlds!

Julia lets her head up and smiles at MK.

MK:… or… the worst.

Julia continues crying

Blaineley: And that is another action packed episode of "Annoy Your Roommates". It turned into a violent death-match between the toddlers, but unfortunately, none of them could out-annoy each other! But, will someone finally win a prize from this show? Find out in the next-

Jen: Hi, Ms… Blaineley… due to the ratings of your show, we unfortunately have to cancel it.

Blaineley: Oh well, time to go back to focusing solely on Celebrity Manhunt, I… guess

The camera zooms out, revealing a TV

Beth: So, you didn’t win the million dollar prize?

Noah: Yup, to be fair, this game is a lot more boring than I thought.

Alejandro: It’s alright. We’ll find anothe-

An angry Priya barges into the daycare

Priya: I TRAINED YOU FOR FALL HARDER AND THIS… (shows her Wenmo account) IS THE THANKS I GET?

Alejandro: Well… uhh… I can give you m-

Cuts outside the daycare

Priya screams and tries to take Alejandro’s phone to give herself more money.

Chapter Text

The kids are huddled up, in the time out corner. They’ve been inside for around 30 minutes. Their timeout ends in about… 30 minutes. They are discussing their deepest and darkest secrets

Harold: I once sabotaged the 4x4 while playing Truth or Dare with Duncan.

Priya: So, that explains why IT BLEW UP WHEN I TOUCHED IT!

Duncan: Relax, it was fun seeing it blow up. But, again, no one could ride the 4x4. It was the coolest ride ever… it also destroyed Chef’s car while it was at it.

Priya: Oh, uh… I used my mom’s ID card to sneak into a movie theater to watch… an R-Rated movie. My parents found out and grounded me for a week.

Duncan: Pfft, grounding is nothing compared to my parent’s punishments. They’d just write a song about it!

Priya: (gasps) Oh, that is way worse than grounding.

Sugar: One time, after you guys left my farm after the whole werehogs situation, I… decided to play with the haybales.

Duncan: Looks like someone’s starting to let their hair loose in the farm… what? I’m not telling your parents that, don’t worry.

Sierra: I was the one that posted Duncan’s address on BlueBird.

Duncan: That explained why a lot of my parent’s FANS swarmed MY HOUSE! My parents… are the BANANAS AND CHEESE!

Mike: One of my personalities… caused a nation-wide blackout.

Sierra: Which one is it? OOOoooh, is it a new one that we haven’t heard of?

Mike: Well, you haven’t met him yet, but I can give you a clue on how to activate him (whispers to Sierra) headphones…

Scott: I snuck three werehogs into the city street. It was so funny!

Lightning: Uhh… Lightning’s scored a touchdown… and accidentally jumped on someone’s dog. It had to be sent to the vet for a few weeks.

Harold: Let me guess, you’re practicing football with the football launcher Scott "borrowed" from me

Lightning: Yup.

Wayne: Rajie likes to smell other player’s hockey bags.

Everyone takes a step back away from the Hockey Bros

Raj: And Wayner’s caused one of our teammates to be stuck in the hospital!

Wayne: It was just a prank.

Noah: Wow, it was such a good prank.

CONFESSIONAL:

Noah:…How is this something to be proud of?

Courtney walks over to the time out corner

Duncan: And let me guess, you’re gonna rub it all over our faces that you’re the only one that is not in time out.

Courtney: First of all, DANG IT! Second of all, what are… you doing…?

Wayne and Raj are sniffing each other’s butts.

Wayne:… uhh… nothing?

Courtney: I meant… what were you doing before… that thing.

Raj: Discussing our deepest secrets.

Courtney: Ok… can I join in?

Duncan: Please, you would literally expose them to CHEF, tattletail.

Cuts to a series of flashbacks

Duncan pranks Owen, causing him to fall down a flight of stairs and into a pit of crabs.

Courtney: CHEF! Duncan hurt Owen with a prank!

Chef Hatchet: TIME OUT! 20 minutes!

Noah and Owen are playing bowling in class

Courtney: CHEF! Owen and Noah are playing bowling, when it is AGAINST THE SCHOOL RULES!

Chef Hatchet: Time out, ten minutes.

Scott tries to hammer down a rat he found, and exits the daycare

Scott: GET BACK HERE YOU STUPID R- (accidentally destroys Chef’s car)

Scott stops for a while and whistles

Courtney: CHEF, Scott destroyed your car.

Chef Hatchet: MY CAR! SCOTT, 1 hour. TIMEOUT!

The flashbacks end.

Courtney: Well… those are breaking the SCHOOL. RULES, but COME ON! Just let me-

Duncan: Wanna jog your memory with another flashback?

Another flashback occurs.

Owen: Scott… I got something to tell you.

Scott: What is it, tell me…

Owen: I… watched too much Netflix and Chill during the weekends. I even stole the remote control from my parent’s bedroom…

Courtney: CHEF! Owen watched too much Netflix!

Chef Hatchet: But Courtney, that isn’t against the rules…

The flashback ends

Courtney: BUT COME ON! NO ONE GOT TIME OUT BECAUSE OF THIS…

Duncan: Then, why snitch something that minor?

Everyone else: Yeah!

Courtney: FINE! (storms off)

CONFESSIONAL:

Courtney: If I can’t get them to let me into their secrets club… Maybe I’ll push them a little bit with their secrets…

Courtney walks inside the castle

Courtney: And how do I… what… is this?

Heather turns around, sitting on an office chair, and stares at Courtney.

Heather: Greetings, Courtney… what brings you to my castle?

Courtney: I need your help…

Heather: Go on, tell me your side of the deal…

Courtney: I need you to help me get into their little… "secrets club"… I want you to force them to make me join it… by bribing them to do your bidding… and they’-

Heather: You got me at bribe… (laughs evilly)

Thirty minutes pass. Sierra sets up a game of snakes and ladders with "Cody" (a sack of potatoes). "Macavity" by Taylor Swift plays in the background.

Heather: Hi, can I join your game of snakes and ladders with… a sack of potatoes?

Sierra: THAT’S CODY! Also… sure.

CONFESSIONAL:

Heather: Yup, she’s starting to feel the side effects of CWD: Cody Withdrawal Disorder. This is going to be much easier than I thought…

Heather: Do you mind if you play with an ACTUAL human instead of a sack of potatoes?

Sierra: (turns her head 180) Do NOT call MY CODY a SACK OF POTATOES!

Heather: Oh, alright… guess Chef would know who doxxed the Bananas and Cheese online…

Sierra: (gulps)…Sorry, Cody… but you’ll have to wait… (cries loudly and reluctantly rolls the dice)

Courtney pokes her head out of the castle door and looks at Heather. Heather gives her a thumbs up, with Courtney returning it.

Heather: Hi, Mike… what are you doing?

Mike: Just… doing some… coloring…

Heather: Can you take off your shirt for Alejandro?

Mike: What? Why?

Heather:… (goes a bit closer to Mike) You don’t have a choice.

Heather takes off Mike’s shirt as Mike takes a big choice

Vito: And what do you want now?

Heather: Help me read this poem for Alejandro once he enters the daycare.

Vito: And why should I help you. It’s e-

Heather: Guess a certain authority would like to know which one of your friends caused the blackout yesterday.

Vito: (gulps) OK FINE. (snatches the poem)

Alejandro enters the classroom.

Heather: Hi, Alejandro… I got a little gift for you… (smiles)

Alejandro: Uhh… alright… (gets dragged by Heather)

Vito: Roses are red, I hate being hit…

Alejandro:…uhh what?

Vito: Now that we understand his tragic past, let’s go remind him of it…?

Alejandro: That’s the gift, mi amor? That’s the gift?!

Heather: Uhh… I think I might have… printed the wrong poem…

Alejandro slaps his face.

CONFESSIONAL:

Alejandro: There is something fishy going on… and I am going to the bottom of this!

Heather: Hey, Raj… I know I don’t see you often in this daycare but… I want to bake 48 cupcakes for a yard sale. I managed to use a calculator to find all the ingredients except for the amount of flour, because the calculator… uhh… broke! Yeah… it broke! Anyways, I know that it is pr-

Raj: It’s 2400 grams of flour. Child’s play.

Heather:…Thanks… now, can you help me do my math homework (drops a book of complicated math problems)

Raj: And why should I do this?

Heather: Firstly, my calculator is a goner, and secondly, if you don’t…

Raj: Then… what?

Heather: Coach will know who sniffed his hockey bag last night.

Raj: (gulps) Well… it’s alright… I’ll do it…

Heather: And Wayne, entertain me with a cage fight with the lions, or Chef would know what happened on December 5, 2023…

Wayne: (gulps) …what? How did yo- I mean, what? W-

Heather: Just do it, you won’t want Chef to know what you and Raj did to Keith on that day.

Wayne: (gulps)… Fine… (enters the lion cage)

Alejandro: Hey, guys… what are you… doing?

Heather: Oh, Raj is doing my math homework, hehehehe, while Wayne is providing me a source of… uhh… entertainment! I’ll bake some cupcakes for the upcoming yard sale… At… uh… I don’t know…

Alejandro steps back for a while and runs off.

Heather: Oh, PRIYA! Help me stitch these clothes for Alejandro.

Priya: This better be worth my t-

Heather: You won’t want Chef to find out about the R-Rated movie, would you? (grins)

Priya: (gulps) Fine…

Alejandro (from afar): Something about Heather seems a little… off… but what is it?

Alejandro spots Heather trying to enter the castle in a suspicious manner. Alejandro tries to follow in but is stopped by Priya and Mike

Priya: Hey, Al, you got a lot of explanation to do…

Mike: Yeah!

Alejandro: Wh… what?! First of all, my name is ALE-JANDRO! Not AL! Secondly, WHAT?! What do YOU want? I didn’t do anything.

Mike: Let me see, your "mi amor" forced Vito to read a love poem!

Alejandro: Oh, that… that seems pretty out of character… why would Heather do it? It’s not part of some dumb and poorly animated TV show-

Alejandro, Mike and Priya stare at the viewer in shock

Alejandro: But seriously, Heather is acting a lot weirder than usual…

Mike: And let me guess, you told Heather OUR SECRETS!

Alejandro: Wait… secrets? P-lease, I ain’t no tattletail, mi amigos… we can work it out…

Raj: HELP! This is harder than that Math contest last year!

Wayne: What?… (falls over)

Raj: Hey, Alejandro… Heather forced me to do her math homework… or she’d tell Coach about the bag sniffing… thing.

Alejandro: Uhh… what?

Sierra: Way to SEPARATE US, traitor! You’re BANNED from discussing our secrets!

Alejandro: (starts to get pissed off by the accusations) I DID NOT EVEN SNITCH ON YOU, YOU FLAT [censored]! I WAS NEVER, EVER RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THIS! Why not THINK OF SOMEONE that ACTUALLY SNITCHES ON YOU ON A REGULAR BASIS!

Lightning: Like, who?

Alejandro:… uhh… (breathes in and out over and over again) COURTNEY!

Sierra: And how would you know that Courtney knows our secrets? (strangles Alejandro)

Alejandro:… (lets himself go) Oh look, there’s a strange ball and stick beside the timeout corner

Sierra: Nice try, AL.

Priya: Here’s this. If you can’t prove that you’re innocent, then YOU ARE BANNED FROM DISCUSSING OUR SECRETS!

Alejandro: Deal.

CONFESSIONAL:

Alejandro: Weird ball and stick, huh…

Alejandro walks by the weird ball and stick.

Alejandro: Hold on… what is t-

The weird ball amplifies Alejandro’s voice.

Alejandro: Wait… this thing… makes my voice louder… but who would own such a thing… (spots a strand of hair on the weird ball and stick)

Alejandro: Wait a minute, could it be…

Cuts to the dining table. Alejandro and the rest of the students are assembled around the weird ball and stick.

Alejandro: And as you can see here, this weird ball and stick amplifies our vocals. Why not give it a go? How about… you, Gwen?

Gwen opens her eggchair, walks up and takes the weird ball and stick

Gwen: This meeting is a waste of time. (passes the weird ball and stick back to Alejandro and walks back to the eggchair)

Alejandro: Thus, this… is a microphone!

Scott: So?

Alejandro: And who would use a microphone near the timeout corner, and why?

Scott:… Courtney, and to hear our secrets!

Alejandro: Exactly.

Sierra: But I still don’t believe you, Heather’s "mi amor".

Alejandro: Does… this strand of hair change your mind?

Alejandro shows the kids a strand of Courtney’s hair.

Sierra: Big deal.

Wayne: It could be any of us.

Priya: Still doesn’t convince me.

Alejandro: Are you KIDDING ME?! The evidence is RIGHT. IN FRONT OF YOU, PEOPLE! IN FRONT OF YOU!

The kids walk away.

Scott: Don’t worry, we’ll get her next time.

Alejandro: You… believe me?

Scott: Yup, and I’ve got a plan to stop this madness.

Cuts to a piece of paper with drawings of the characters. They are animated, explaining Scott’s plan.

Scott (voice): So, Alejandro, convince Heather to enter Beth’s secret lair, maybe throwing in Three Guys and a Girl in a Beach House.

Alejandro calls Chase, and Chase and his friends appear next to Heather. They enter the secret lair.

Scott (voice): The other kids, and Courtney, will come in at some point, so you don’t have much time. I’ll buy you some time with a comedy show.

Scott entertains the kids with comedy.

Cuts back to the kids.

Alejandro enters the castle and sees Heather read off a script.

Alejandro: Hey, mi amor, what’cha doing?

Heather:… oh… uhh, reading a script?

Alejandro: Of what?

Heather: A play, about two lovers… that-

Alejandro: Huh, seems a bit… too short for that. What is it, really? You can trust me with your secrets, mi amor.

Heather: (sighs) Ok, fine. Courtney is forcing me to do this. She wants to talk about our secrets this badly she made me do this. Sure, I loved messing with everyone but this… WHY?!

Alejandro: So, wanna (bangs the back of the wall to reveal a panel) explore some random secret lair? (presses random buttons and it works)

A small circular platform with a pole and some weapons show up, revealing Zee.

Zee: Hey guys…

Heather: You’re exploring some secret lair below us? Can I join in?

Zee: Sure.

Zee and Heather go down to Beth’s secret lair.

Alejandro: And now… we wait.

Scott: Three men balance a long dog on a tightrope. It was barking with suspense (laughs)

Priya: Yeah… we’re going to get some help.

Courtney: I can help!

Harold: Great! What do we need to do to get you to stop Heather.

Courtney: I would be able to… discuss secrets with you!

Duncan: Sorry b-

Wayne: Sure, eh. If it means Heather is stopped.

Courtney: Let’s go! I know where Heather is.

Everyone but Scott runs to the castle. The camera zooms into Scott, who is smiling.

Scott: Checkmate.

Courtney: (knocks on the castle door) Open up, Heather! We know what y-

Alejandro: Come in, mi amiga. (opens the door)

Courtney: Where’s Heather?

Raj: WHAT?! It’s you?

Alejandro: Surprise, Courtney. Looks like you’re not winning this one…

Courtney: What did you- (gasps) You littl-

Alejandro: I managed… to get a certain group of people she idolizes… not really bu-

Courtney: Just tell us where Heather is!

Alejandro: I don’t know?… (smiles) what I do know that all of this… is part of a plan. Courtney is using Heather to pressure us to do everything!

Courtney: What? I didn’t-

Everyone glares at Courtney

Courtney:… ok fine… I did all this… just so I can discuss secrets… But secrets are secrets, and I won’t tattle them aw-

Wayne: It’s ok, eh. Just promise not to snitch on us.

Courtney: Deal.

CONFESSIONAL:

Courtney: Sometimes, it’s best not to tattle other people that often… unless it’s against the rules. But at least I can let everything out now… Did you know that I hacked into someone’s account. It was a moderator… and once I took control I used it to do what moderators should do. That guy was a huge jerk.

Chef Hatchet: What is going on? (gasps) What did you do to Heather?

Sierra: I… uhh… don’t know?

Cuts outside.

Chef Hatchet: TIME OUTS FOR MAKING HER GO MIA. 5 HOURS.

Everyone groans.

Cuts inside Beth’s secret lair.

Heather: Wonder what this vending machine do-

Ripper and Chase play with laser guns.

Chase: WOAH! Real lasers!

Emma: Guys, I think we should keep this place a bit… more neat and tidy once we leave.

Cuts outside, agian.

Chase: Nah.

Chapter Text

The episode starts in a rather… windy day. The kids are bored, inside… doing nothing… except Wayne and Raj. They’re playing hockey, somehow. Lightning and Raihan sit on a bench.

Lightning: So, it’s your last day here?

Raihan: Yup. My holiday is almost over! Man, it’s been like… four weeks! I’m really going to miss you guys.

Lightning: How about we find something for you to do before you go?

Raihan: That’s a great idea… except it’s windy outside and there’s hardly anything to d-

The lights go out.

Bridgette: WHAT THE?!

Jude: Dude, the lights are out.

Harold: WHO DO WE CALL?! WHO DO WE CALL?!

Gwen: I like the darkness.

Duncan panics and hits a corner.

Duncan: Ow…

Priya: EVERYONE CALM DOWN!

Chef Hatchet: I’ll get the lights. Everyone, hold these flashlights.

Chef Hatchet throws flashlights at everyone. It hits Cody.

Mike: I’m… scared… (to himself) It’s alright, it’s just a few minutes. You can do this. You are br- (gasps)

Svetlana: Don’t worry, my friends. Svetlana is he-

Duncan: Is there ANYTHING that requires gymnastics here?

Svetlana: Obviously. (jumps away)

Duncan: And how would tha-

The lights are back on.

Svetlana: I managed to fix the lights.

Duncan: HOW?!

Svetlana: With the power of gymnas- (gets blown by the wind) woah, it is pretty windy here…

The front door is open, despite it being locked.

Chef Hatchet: Who unlocked the door?!

The kids shrug, clueless of what the heck is going on. Svetlana gracefully lands on the floor on one foot.

?: Hello, my friends…

Lightning: Who the sha-heck is that?

Raihan: I don’t know?

Duncan: (screams) CREEPY GIRL!

?: I’m not that creepy… maybe my entry kinda freaked you out a bit?

Bridgette: Dawn! You’re here!

Dawn: I need you guys’ help. I’ll explain why I’m here and everything else… in the basement.

Raihan: NOT THE BASEMENT!

Dawn: Huh, looks like the fear of basements is the only insecurity you don’t hide…

Raihan: Wait… what do you mean? I’m perfectly fearless… heheheheheh

Dawn: It’s all over your aura. Your "fearlessness" is just a facade.

Julia: Heh, not so fearless, dragon?

Raihan: Mess with the dragon, you get fire breathed on your pathetic fac-

Bridgette: Can we please stop ARGUING and get on with the episode?

Dawn: Right…

CONFESSIONAL:

Bridgette: I’m so glad you can come today, Dawn! Even if…

Dawn: There’s something pressing that I need your help to solve.

The camera cuts to the basement. The kids are assembled in front of Dawn and Bridgette. Raihan is a bit creeped out by the fact that he is in a basement.

Dawn: So, my powers are connected to some mysterious crystal in the Amazon, an-

Duncan: Pfft, I bet that’s all bo-

Dawn: I can tell you are ashamed of your lineage. You dress up and act mean to hide the fact that you’re born to Bananas and Cheese.

Duncan: How did you know- I me-

Dawn: It’s all over your aura. And Julia only cares about fame because she had almost no friends.

Julia: What?! I’m pretty popular. Yeah… I-

Dawn: The only true friend you know is a thief named MK.

Julia: Who told you about MK?!

Dawn: That’s a power of mine. I can read your auras, and Bridgette has this shade of pink that I love.

Bridgette: Thanks…

Dawn: I do have a few tricks up my sleeve… and on an unrelated note, someone might break down and swear.

Everyone stares at Raihan.

Raihan: What? What are you… looking at?

CONFESSIONAL:

Bridgette: I always wanted to visit the Amazon! This is so exciting!

Cuts to the school bus. Dawn is riding the bus above the Amazon rainforest. A large river can be seen below.

Raihan: Oh… my god. This is way more awesome than from TV! (takes out a phone and tries to take a selfie)

Julia slowly edges Raihan away

Julia: Excuse me, can I please take a selfie first?

Raihan: I was HERE FIRST. Take turns, you-

Julia: Oh no, it looks like a pretty big drop from here. Would be a shame if I pushed you off…

Raihan: You wouldn’t dare.

Julia: Oh yes I would… (opens the door)

Everyone is screaming

Dawn: Hang on tight!

Everyone manages to hold on to something.

Raihan and Julia: We’re TRYING! (gets sucked out of the plane but still manage to hold the frame of the door)

Beth: If this is how it’s going to end I BLAME D-

Raihan: JULIA OPENED THE GODDAMN DOOR!

Beth: I mean… JULIA!

Julia: Raihan got in the way FIRST.

Raihan: Excuse me? Is one minute all that matters here? NOW LOOK WHAT HAPPENS. WE’RE CLOSE TO DYING!

Wayne: Uh oh…

Raj: Here is comes…

Mike: This is bad…

Julia: Suck it, butt knuckle. If you had move, we WOULD NOT BE SUSPENDED FIVE HUNDRED FEET IN THE AIR!

Raihan: And if it’s not for you OPENING THE DOOR, none of THIS would have happened YOU DUMB [censored]

Dawn and Duncan gasps in shock. Priya stares into the camera, surprised, while Wayne and Raj got startled. Wayne accidentally lets go of a seat and almost gets flung out.

Raj: I GOT YA, WAYNER! (manages to hold Wayne’s hand)

Wayne: Thanks, RajiEEEE

Wayne and Raj gets flung out of the bus and holds on to Raihan.

Julia: Oh no, looks like you’ve got dead weight on you, dragon boy.

Raihan: Better than a two faced backstabbing lying little [censored]

CONFESSIONAL:

Priya: This is getting really bad. First Julia endangered us, now Raihan is filling up his swear jar?! Yup, I’ve decided. I’m blocking them on MySelfieGram.

Julia: Your hat makes you look like a circus freak.

Raihan: You have Stevie Wonder’s eyes for fashion

Julia: You have Beethoven’s ears for a MUSIC TASTE.

Raihan: You can take the first letter of your favourite album, and it would become a self-titled album.

Julia: (gasps) You did not say that about Charli.

Raihan: Oh yes I did, [censored]

Julia: What is this? The four year old dimwit of Wall Street?

Raihan: I got higher than you on my test scores unfashionable Ariana Grande wannabe.

Julia: Generic video game character who is nothing but a mere obstacle in MY WAY.

Raihan: Long hair wearing mall shopping wannabe. I bet it’s DYED!

Julia: Better than being on the top than throwing away all of it with boring slop!

Raihan: Yeah, you base all your loves and faves on BlueBird vibes basic ahh granola girl wannabe.

Julia: (gasps) Granola… GIRL?! EW WHAT?!

Raihan: That’s right. Keep y-

Dawn: We’re here. Landing in three… two… one… 

Raihan, Julia, and the Hockey Bros scream for their lives. The bus lands on a tree, before it crashes down onto the forest floor.

Cody: I’m in the Amazon!

Raihan: Great. Just great. We’re lost.

Bridgette: Are we going to see the source of your powers?

Dawn: Yup! And your curious mind will bring you bliss in the future.

Bridgette: Thanks… Dawn.

The kids trek through dense jungle. Cody gets strangled by a snake but Lightning frees him from it. Svetlana manages to swing from vine to vine as Duncan watches in awe. The kids see some large temple, and enter it

Dawn: This is where the Crystal of Life… is located in.

Duncan: What… is that?

Dawn (in some weird state that is considered supernatural): It’s the source of my powers. It has the ability to control ecosystems and can rejuvenate habitats if used wisely. Someone is seeking to use it for evil and if it gets its hands on it, I will die and the whole world will crumble down.

Duncan: This is starting to creep me out a little… IT’S JUST THE RANDOM VOICE PITCH THINGS TRUST ME BROS!!!

Beth: Yeah right. You’re clearly scared.

Duncan: Well, what is GOING O- (accidentally breaks a wall)

Svetlana: Huh, this wall seems to be much more fragile than I though-

Dawn: No. This can’t be. He’s here.

The camera goes through the hole, revealing some city.

Beth: Huh, this seems al-

Dawn: It’s new. Too new…

A cyber goon flies through the hole, scaring the kids

Cyber Goon: Crystal detected. Prepare for extraction.

Beth: Oh crud-

Cyber Goon: Prepare for imprisonment.

Duncan: [censored]! NOT IMPRISONMENT! THAT’S WORSE THAN TIME-

The screen cuts to black. The kids wake up in some prison cell.

Bridgette: Huh? Where are we?

Raihan: I thought the Amazon had more nature-ish places for selfies, but… how does an entire city show up there?

Beth: Blame the city, I guess. No, blame… him.

Bridgette: Where’s Dawn?

Chester: YA DARN KI- Huh, where are we? I thought we’re going on some dumb field trip o-

Beth: MIKE! Please help me tie this shoe

Mike: (Takes a big gasp) This… is bad.

Bridgette: No… Dawn… she’s-

Dawn: Who are you and why are you here?

Beartop Manbelow: Oh, no worries, kid… You see, I’m working on some huge city (shows the blueprints) but it needs some power source… so, your little crystal friend could help me achieve that.

Cuts back to the prison cell

Beth: Yeah, I don’t understand why he would do that. He was after government secrets, and now wants to build some random city?

Julia: Think "Evil Businessman", girl.

Wayne: THERE’S AN EVIL BUSINESSMAN?!

Beth: Not really bu-

Wayne: RAJIE! WAKE UP! WE FORGOT TO-

Julia: Shut UP!

Beth:…still don’t got a clue. All I know is, someone’s gonna pull a "Maleficient" sometime soon.

Dawn: And why is this a city?

Beartop Manbelow: Oh, you see, I can easily hide my evil plans in something as dense as a city, and the best part is? No one bats an eye! (laughs)

Dawn: Then, why make it hidden in the first place?

CONFESSIONAL:

Beartop Manbelow: I never even thought about that. But, scratch that (laughs)

Beartop Manbelow: Now, let me make it clear for the fourth time, this city is based off my plans for world domination. This city will soon, with your crystal as power, emerge and take over every country, EVERY CITY in the world!… Just like that movie about London being a mechanical city eating up almost every other country in the world… you watched that movie right?

Gwen: I have an idea that would get us out… but it is going to be very excruciatingly painful.

Everyone stares at Gwen and volunteers Cody.

Gwen pushes Cody through the bars, Cody struggling noises are present. Cody manages to make it through.

Cody: These bars really loved hugging me.

The camera reveals that the bars somehow skinned Cody on both sides.

Lightning: Is he ok?

Cody: I’m fine.

Gwen: Now, you need to free that other creepy girl, and find a key that would FREE US from this hellhole.

Harold: And fast, we’ve only got 7719 characters- I mean, five minutes before the crystal gets absorbed, and the whole place collapses.

Dawn: So, I guess I have to do it, the hard way, evil man?

The lights go out.

Dawn: Why is it ALWAYS THE LIGHTS?!

Cody: I can’t see a thing! (hits a wall) OW!

Cody blindly goes through the shopping district of the city by accident. Cyber Goons, with bright eyes, can be seen walking around.

Cody: This place is bustling!

Meanwhile, the kids are trying to break out themselves, now that Cody is missing.

Duncan: Got any way we can bust out?

Everyone else: Nah.

Harold: It’s a dead en-

Dawn manages to run back to the cell, with a firefly as a light source.

Dawn: I’m here to bust you guys out… Got anyth-

That snake from earlier hisses

Dawn: You’ll do… Come on, this way, little one…

The snake slithers towards the cell and picks the lock with its teeth. Dawn thanks the snake.

Dawn: We don’t have much t- (screams in agony)

Raihan: Are you ok?

Julia: You looks like a hot m-

Raihan glares at Julia.

Julia: What? She does.

Dawn: He’s starting to use the Crystal of Life for his evil bidding. We must act fast. The world is at stake.

The kids run through the corridors to try and find Beartop Manbelow.

Beth: Did we… go the wrong way?

Dawn: Well, the… let’s go the other way.

The kids go the other direction. A maze visual of them trying to find him appears for a short while before the camera shows the same room Dawn was trapped in before she freed herself.

Beartop Manbelow: Back for more, creepy girl? (notices Beth) And oh, not you again.

Beth: Yeah, we’re ready for a round two, Manbelow.

Raihan: Why does he have a bear as a head?

Beth: Don’t ask me. I’ve battled him several times already and yet no clue about this.

Mike: This… is scary.

Beth: (puts on a fedora onto Mike) Maybe it won’t be once you put on this hat.

Mike takes a big gasp

Manitoba Smith: So, we exploring some abandoned city or beating that weird bear-headed man’s arse?

Beth: Beating that weird bear-headed man.

Beartop Manbelow: (turns his head 180) The name’s Beartop Manbelow, and this you kids doing is called sheer DISRESPECT! (charges at the kids)

Manitoba Smith: Dawn, get the crystal thing. I’ll try and knock him down with the snake. (grabs the snake)

Beartop Manbelow: CYBER GOONS, ATTACK!

A wave of Cyber Goons arrive but Manitobs Smith manages to handle them all (and strangle Beartop Manbelow in the process)

Beth: Now that… is cool.

Manitoba Smith: So, any last words, mate?

Beartop Manbelow: Just… let me go… please.

Manitoba Smith: (laughs) No.

The kids run away as the snake strangles Beartop Manbelow until he explodes, revealing to be a decoy.

Beth: DANG IT! When… does he EVER SHOW UP?!

Meanwhile, Dawn is trying to restore the crystal.

Dawn: Come on… just be careful… (manages to safely grab it) YES!

Bridgette: Dawn! You… did it!

Dawn: And I couldn’t have saved it… no, the world, without your help.

The Crystal of Life is back at the ancient temple.

Dawn: It looks… a little damaged, but it should do.

Bridgette: How did it get damaged, Dawn?

Dawn: Oh, uh… people not really caring for the environment. The crystal’s also my only connection to Mother Earth, it’s where I got all these powers from. (looks at you) And I see that you want to know how to… you know, care for it? It’s simple. Recycle your belongings, if you can… try not to litter on the floor, use the air-con at a higher temperature… you can read it up on the link below! (https://naturecanada.ca/defend-nature/how-you-help-us-take-action/nature-based-climate-solutions/toolkit/protection/)

Bridgette: Yup, and even though most of the episode is action-based… and probably a bit messy, I hope you learnt something from this final bit!

Dawn: Speaking of which, how do we get home?

The camera cuts back to the daycare.

Beth’s mom: So, uh… where are our kids?

Chef Hatchet: They must be playing inside the day- (looks inside and sees them missing) Oh crud…

Meanwhile, Cody is still exploring the city.

Cody: I’m a shopaholic!

The camera zooms in to reveal Beartop Manbelow in some hidden room.

Beartop Manbelow: You may have found yourself some new friends, but you won’t be able to stop my plans…

Chapter Text

The kids are playing Go Fish together.

Courtney: Got any nines, Gwen?

Gwen: (rolls her eyes) Go fish.

Courtney draws a card and gets a nine.

Courtney: YES! Duncan, got any nines?

Duncan: (snickers) Go fish.

Courtney draws a card and does not get a nine.

Scott: Courtney… got any nines?

Courtney: (sighs) Yes. (hands her nines to Scott)

Scott: YES! I got the first book! (slams his nines into a pile of four cards) Beth, got any queens?

Beth: Nope. Go fish.

Scott draws a card, as Priya approaches them.

Priya: Hi guys… what are you playing?

Beth: Go fish!

Priya: Can I join?

Beth: I’ll think about it… no.

CONFESSIONAL:

Beth: Priya’s a sore loser and bad winner. Every time we play a game with her, it goes really badly when it ends… because of her bad sportsmanship.

A montage of flashbacks starts, where Priya wins or loses various games and reacts, rather rough:

Priya gets bankrupted in a game of Oligopoly and flips the board and screams in anger.

Priya outlasts Noah in a game of Duck Duck Goose. Later on, she L’s Noah from afar.

Priya passively-aggressively congratulate Cody on his win of chess against her, and aggressively shakes his hand. Cody falls onto the floor [Cody: I feel a lack of mutual respect!]

Priya breaks down in front of Lightning after losing a round of Pokemon cards against him. Lightning stares at her, shocked.

CONFESSIONAL:

Beth: Thus, we all agree, to never play a single game with Priya until she fixes her bad sportsmanship.

CONFESSIONAL:

Priya: My parents gave birth to a winner, so it’s WIN or LOSE when it comes to games.

Priya: It’s… alright… I’ll just sit there and wait until the cards are ready.

CONFESSIONAL:

Priya screams out loud on the frog chair

Five minutes pass. Priya sits by, glumly. The ticking of the clock gets louder as her head begins to spiral withe echoey voices of the other kids playing Go Fish slowly make her go insane.

Beth: YES! I WIN!

Priya: I… I wanna play a game of Go Fish… with y-

Beth: Sorry but we wanna play with some dollies now… mind if you can come along?

Priya: No… (eye twitch) thanks…

Scott: Fine, I’ll play one round with you… only one round.

Priya: Yay!

Five minutes pass. Priya wins against Scott.

Priya: YES! I win! Winner winner ch- (screams in agony)

The camera cuts outside the daycare as Priya’s scream echoes outside, causing birds to fly away.

Priya huddles in a corner, in distress because of her sore throat. Alejandro walks by, and notices Priya. Beth anxiously hands Priya some lozenges. She sucks one.

Ten minutes pass, and Priya still has a sore thriat.

Alejandro: Hey there, amiga… what’s… wrong?

Priya: I have a sore throat. And it is really, REALLY BAD!

Alejandro: Sore throat, huh? Well, it is because YOU have the throat… for sore. losers.

Priya: (gasps) What is i- OW!

Alejandro: If you have been a bad loser AND/OR winner, you’ll be cursed with a sore throat, and should you continue this streak of well, bad sportsmanship, it will pop like a balloon… and you’ll never speak again!

Priya: (screams in horror) What… happened?

Alejandro: Easy. (shrugs) You’ll be silenced and no one will ever talk. to. you. again.

Priya’s eye twitches in fear as Alejandro says "again" repeatedly.

Priya: What do I do?

Alejandro: Easy there, amiga… I’ll show you.

Cuts to the swings. Alejandro is "competing" with Priya to see who can swing the highest. Priya is currently winning

Priya: I can swing higher than y- OW!

Priya slows down and starts to swing lower, as Alejandro takes over.

Alejandro: YES!

Priya: UGH!

Alejandro: Calm down, Priya… that is one important step to saying adios to your annoying sore throat.

Priya:… (sighs) Fine…

A montage of Alejandro winning various games against Priya starts, and as the montage progresses, Priya slowly gets angrier.

Priya: Alejandro, this whole thing is NOT W- OW!… WORKING!

Alejandro: Relax, amiga, it’s all part of the plan. Now, who’s ready for some CHESS! (slams a Chess board onto the floor)

Priya: Ooooh yeah, you are so- OW! going… DOWN- owwwwwww

Alejandro and Priya play a round of chess, where Alejandro loses on purpose. Priya gloats and celebrates her win.

Alejandro: Well, good game, mi amiga, but, how would I feel if I lose…?

Priya: Well, you’d be upset about it, and maybe whine about it somewhere else?

Alejandro: Exactly. So, what do you say to cheer them up?

Priya:…It’s alright, not e- OW, everyone can win against me. (record scratch)

Alejandro slaps his face.

Alejandro: We might… have to do this over and over again.

Another short montage of Alejandro purposefully losing to Priya starts, as Priya starts to get upset. Alejandro, on the other hand, is hiding a smile.

Priya: UGH, can you please STOP LOS- OW! …LOSING FOR A SEC?!

Alejandro: (fake cries) Oh, I’m… just that bad… I’ll never be as good as you, Priya…

Priya starts to feel a bit of guilt and sorrow, just like she does when she loses.

Priya: I… didn’t mean any of what I said… you did great, Alejandro.

Alejandro: Thanks… (smiles)

Priya: Wh… What? 

Alejandro: You just showed me that you can be a good sport! And look, your sore throat is gone! Now (pushes Priya to the other kids) let’s show them what you’ve learnt today!

The camera fades to black.

Alejandro: Ladies and gentlemen, we’re now presenting the new and improved…

The lights go back on, revealing Priya with a deck of cards

Alejandro: PRIYA! Now, with good sportsmanship.

Priya: Yes…

Courtney: Uhm, can Priya play without being such a crybaby about losing?

Alejandro! Yup.

Scott: Does she not rub her win in all of our faces?

Alejandro: Uh huh.

Duncan: Good. ‘Cos I challenge her to a round… (camera focuses on Duncan) of Go. Fish.

Priya: It is on!

A montage of Priya playing Go Fish with the kids start. Priya manages to win.

Priya: YES! Well… good game, I guess?

Courtney: I’m so glad you learnt your lesson- and there she goes.

Alejandro sees Priya celebrate her win outside.

Alejandro: It’s alright… baby steps… I guess.

The camera cuts outside the daycare, as Priya screams in pain because of yet another sore throat.

Chapter Text

The episode starts in the kitchen.

Chef is cooking the kids sandwiches for lunch. Leshawna and Owen enter the kitchen, as Owen smelt something tasty.

Chef Hatchet: Hey kids… what’cha doing?

Owen: I smell… DONUTS! (turns around and sees a locked fridge)

Owen: NOOOOOOO! NOT THE DONUTS! (bangs the fridge repeatedly) LET ME IN, PLEASE… LET ME IN!

Leshawna: Yeah, this is clearly a waste of time. I’ll just g- (opens a cabinet and finds a bottle of bleach). What… is this?

Chef Hatchet: What is th- (notices the bleach bottle) Oh no you don’t!

Leshawna: What’s a bleach?

Chef Hatchet: Bleach is something that can turn all your clothes white and yellow. You don’t want that to happen.

Leshawna gasps in horror, before imagining a scenario where she enters a prom with a bleached outfit. Everyone laughs at her, throwing tomatoes at her.

Leshawna: I do NOT want to (steps away) stay near that thing.

Owen: What’s bleach. Sounds tasty.

Chef Hatchet: Owen, NO. Bleach is not for drinking!

Owen: (holds the bottle of bleach) But… WHY?!

Chef Hatchet: Bleach will make your eyes hurt and is bad for your tummy.

Owen: Ok, (runs off with the bleach)

Chef Hatchet: And there he goes.

Owen runs into the daycare, holding a bottle of bleach. Several students look at him, confused.

Lightning: What… is that?!

Tom: So, uh… what do we do with the bleach? ‘Cos my mom told me it is dangerous.

Scott: Looks like things will get 10% whiter in here. (chuckles a bit)

Harold: Owen, you’re not supposed to play with bleach. You can get very hurt.

Owen: But… why?

Harold: Bleach contains chemicals that are sensitive to your-

Scott: (yawns) Is it nap time yet? (sneers at Harold)

Harold: Really, Scott? Really?!

Scott: I came here to play, not to be educated on daily life skills.

Owen: It’s just liquid, how bad can it be (accidentally spills a bit of the bleach)

The bleach stains the carpet, forming a white, ghostly stain on the carpet. The kids are scared.

Harold: What do we do?

Owen: Uhh… maybe hide it somewhere?

Owen drags the bottle of bleach to a container. He gives up, and it spills all over Heather’s doll.

Heather: Susan, mommy’s back with more milk!

Heather notices the bleach stain on her doll. She angrily stares at Owen, who gives her an awkward smile.

Heather: WHAT DID YOU DO TO SUSAN?!

Owen: Sorry… I was a bit-

Heather: Careless? Sounds like a problem on your part. Look, Owen, I want this mess CLEANED BY 12 NOON, or I’m telling Chef.

Owen: Jeez, ok…

Heather storms off, crying.

Tom: Anyone got any clue on how to clean the bleach mess?

Nobody raises their hands

Tom: Yup, we’re screwed.

Harold: Well, we’ll never know until we try!

Owen: That’s the spirit!

Tom and Harold man a pressure washer loaded with soap and water, as Owen holds Susan. Tom fires the pressure washer, but it blasts Susan onto the ceiling. Susan falls onto the floor, right in front of Alejandro. Alejandro looks awkwardly at the trio, and steps aside. Harold passes Gwen Susan and inaudibly asks her to exorcise the bleach out of it. Gwen audibly utters some random incantations, but the bleach stain is still there.

Harold: Great, so much for a cheap magic book from Dollar Waster. (throws the book at Cody)

Owen tries to lick the bleach off Susan but it does not work. Tom tries rubbing Susan all over the carpet to get rid of the bleach but it does not work. Harold goes to QuickWash to remove the bleach but it does not work.

MacArthur: You’re washing a toy?!

Harold: Well… yeah.

MacArthur: That would be five extra bucks (gets paid) …and thanks for washing at QuickWash!

The camera returns to the daycare. The kids look dejected.

Tom: Pressure washers didn’t work…

Owen: Licking the stain didn’t work…

Harold: We tried everything to remove it! Huh, see you in the timeout corner, I guess… (walks dejectedly to the toilet)

Owen: WAIT!

Harold turns around and looks at the two

Owen: We haven’t tried painting Susan!

Tom: That’s a great idea! Paint the stain so Heather won’t even notice a thing!

Izzy: PAINT… A BLEACH STAIN?

Harold: Relax, it’s acrylic paint… it’s hard to remove.

Izzy: I should probably warn you, that if you use a little bit too much paint, don’t care what paint it is, you’ll create… the bleach monster.

Tom: (chuckles) That… would happen?

Izzy: Have I ever… lied to your face before (nears Tom a bit)

Tom: Well… uhh… no.

Izzy: Exactly. And Susan will be ripped into pieces to form a monstrosity that would shoot bleach to control your minds.

Harold: How hard could one monster be?

Izzy: Very… very hard.

Owen: Yeah… we should probably paint Susan’s stain.

Izzy: Oh boy, don’t say I didn’t warn ya once the monster comes coming at ya. (walks away)

Tom: …She’s probably eating crayons again. (starts painting Susan)

Five minutes pass. Owen passes Susan back to Heather.

Owen: There you go, Heather, good as new!

Heather looks at Susan, which looks a little… weird.

Heather: Thanks… ALEJANDRO! OUR LITTLE BABY IS BACK!

Alejandro: He’s alive? Not stained? YES! Sabía que se recuperaría de la lejía.

Heather: Uhh… Owen managed to fix i-

Alejandro: Mi amor, do you hear something?

Owen: Nope. My tummy isn’t hungry.

Susan rumbles, as if she is somehow hungry.

Tom: What is going on?

Harold: Apparently, Susan is… rumbling in hunger?

A beam of bleach erupts from Susan, causing her to be ripped into pieces. The bleach falls onto the floor, revealing a blob that slowly forms something that looks monstrous.

Bleach monster: (laughs evilly) Hello, foolish kids, welcome… to your bleachy nightmare.

Heather looks at Susan, crying, while Alejandro tries to console her.

Owen: What… is that?

Izzy: Told you. Paint, WILL create the bleach monster.

Heather turns her head towards Owen

Heather: YOU KILLED… SUSAN! (genuine tears) She… was our only child, and you took her life away! (screams)

Bleach monster: No, that fat lump didn’t kill your toy child, I DID! Now, the world will fall under my reign. Behold, the new era, of the BLEACH! (fires bleach at Cody, causing him to be brainwashed into a bleach monster)

Cody: The world will be bleach… EVERYTHING WILL BE BLEACH!

Everyone screams and runs into Chef’s office.

Chef Hatchet Wh… WHAT’S GOING ON?!

Alejandro (sighs): Look outside.

Chef Hatchet sees a bleach monster.

Chef Hatchet: I knew this day will come… KIDS, FOLLOW ME! We’ve got a monster to slay.

Chef Hatchet opens up a secret cabinet full of weapons. The kids arm themselves with water guns loaded with lemonade.

Lightning: Are you sure lemonade can kill the monster?

Scott: Of course! Back home, we squeeze lemons everywhere to remove bleach in case someone gets their shirts bleached.

Cody barges into Chef’s office.

Cody: Bow down to your new master, while your minds still exist.

Lightning: Uhh… Cody, we can talk about this.

Leshawna: WHAT?! We have to go. NOW!

Scott: QUICK! INTO THE VENTS!

Scott and the kids manage to carry Chef Hatchet into the vents. Lightning manages to grab hold of Chef, but Leshawna fails to do so and succumbs to Cody. Meanwhile, the rest of the survivors are crawling in the vents

Scott: This should be the perfect time to plan our attack.

Harold: B…but how? That monster can easily take control of us.

Scott: Heh, doubting me again? Remember what I said about my plans last year? Remember when I saved all of your butts from some nuke?

Alejandro: I had to step in and SAVE THE GIRLS, remember?

Scott: Uhh, actually, we don’t talk about that. Anyways, one person, or two, will divert the bleach monster away from say, point A (points at the dining table). Once the bleach monster is distracted, we FIRE!

Heather: But… who will distract the monster, let alone its new minions?

The camera cuts to the classroom. Heather and Alejandro, armed with a water gun each, sneak behind the bleach monster.

Heather: This day… SUCKS!

Alejandro: Careful now, amiga, you can alert the mon-

The bleach monster turns around and spots them

Bleach monster: How would you like to join my ever growing army

Heather: What… do we do now, mi amor?

Alejandro: We… RUN!

Heather and Alejandro scream and run away, giving the rest a good window of time to shoot the monster. Lightning manages to spring into action but misses and falls into the bleach monster. The monster poops out a now brainwashed Lightning

Lightning: Fighting… is no longer a sha-option.

Heather: NOT LIGHTNING!

Alejandro: RUN!

Leshawna and Cody corner the two, causing them to be brainwashed.

Scott: This… looks way worse than I imagined.

Harold: NOW WHAT?!

Scott: Looks like we got no other choice, we… FIRE FROM THE VENTS

The bleach monster overhears this.

Bleach monster: You hear this, my minions? They’re coming from us… in the vents!

The minions: LET’S GET THEM!

They crawl up the walls, trying to get them. Tom, as a last ditch effort, throws his water gun away. It breaks, causing lemonade to splash on Alejandro and Lightning, now restored back to normal.

Lightning: Wh… what? Where am I?

Alejandro: We’re safe now, amigo… now, LET’S DO THIS! (picks up his and Lightning’s water blasters)

Lightning and Alejandro fire lemonade at the bleach monster, now screaming in pain. Meanwhile, Owen and Harold use their blasters to try and free their friends. They manage to free Heather and Leshawna. Scott and Tom crawl into the kitchen, to prepare some more lemonade.

Scott: They will run out of ammo soon, so we better prepare more. Otherwise, the world will succumb to bleach!

Tom: (squeezes in as many lemons into the blender as possible) Way ahead of you, Scott. (turns on the blender)

The blender explodes, causing lemonade fo spray everywhere. Scott and Tom were only able to make ten water balloons out of the mess they made.

Scott: Eh, ten balloons should be enough.

Tom: LET’S DO THIS!

Meanwhile, the rest of the kids, and Chef Hatchet run out of ammo

Bleach monster: Looks like you’re not winning this war… Cody, GET THEM!

Chef Hatchet selflessly runs in front of the monster, and Cody, willing to defend them at all costs.

Chef Hatchet: If you wanna get these kids, you’ll have to get through me.

Bleach monster: Very well, then. (absorbs Chef, as he screams)

Everyone else: NOOOO!

Scott: Not so fast.

The bleach monster turns around, as a brainwashed Chef gets thrown out of the monster’s body. Tom and Scott are armed, with not so much water balloons.

Bleach monster: Seriously? This amount of lemonade?

Tom: Enough to destroy your evil plans.

Bleach monster: (chuckles evilly), GET EM!

Chef Hatchet and Cody run after the two, but they manage to swiftly evade them. Tom manages to throw his share of balloons at the monster. Scott manages to throw all, but one balloon at the monster. The balloon hits a spot near the door.

Tom: YOU MISSED!

Scott: Well… backup plan. Someone has to lure the monster onto that patch of lemonade!

Tom: ON IT! (runs past Chef Hatchet, blowing raspberry at him)

Bleach monster: OH NO YOU DON’T!

Tom runs out of the classroom and into Chef’s office. Chef Hatchet breaks into the office, about to infect Tom with bleach.

Chef Hatchet: Looks like you hit a dead end, kid.

Tom slowly backs away as Chef is about to corner him. Meanwhile, the bleach monster accidentally steps on the puddle of lemonade.

Bleach monster: Wait… is that? (looks down) NOOOOO!

The bleach monster dissolves and screams in pain. Meanwhile, Chef Hatchet and Cody manage to be relieved of the brainwashing.

Chef Hatchet: Wha… where am I?

Tom: Chef… we did it! We slayed the monster!

Chef Hatchet: This calls for a celebration-

Owen: What are we going to do about the large hole in the wall.

Harold: Relax, nothing bad can happen.

Harold leans onto the wall, causing the daycare to collapse into pieces.

Harold: Yup, we might have to find somewhere else to celebrate instead.

Chapter Text

[the aftermath intro is cued]

The episode starts with the amphitheater from S4E7. Geoff and Bridgette are standing on the stage, drinking some chocolate milkshakes. Lively music is playing to really amp up the atmosphere.

Geoff: Welcome back to Total DramaRama Aftermath! I’m Geoff,

Bridgette: And I’m Bridgette!

Geoff and Bridgette: And we’re your hosts for this fine night!

A thunderous applause can be heard.

Bridgette: Before we begin, due to some… incident in the daycare, we have to temporarily move to this amphitheater to continue the Aftermaths.

Geoff: What a shocker, am I right?

Bridgette glares at Geoff

Geoff:…uhh… what?

Bridgette: Before we begin, let’s start with…

Geoff and Bridgette: That’s Gonna Leave a Mark!

The screen behind them shows a montage of injuries in the following order:

- Owen bites his tongue trying to eat a burger.

- Cody gets hit by a snowball, followed by a car. He gets flung by a car, hitting several UFOs over and over again, as if he’s a ping pong ball.

- Duncan trips on a bowling alley, slips, slides and scores a strike with his body. (accidentally)

- Mike gets beaten up by a crocodile… because Courtney re-activated him by accident.

- Sugar gets run over by a horse while trying to milk a cow.

- Priya, Alejandro and Heather get dragged on the floor by a tow truck, trapped under the 4x4.

- Leshawna falls into a pit of bologna and screams in horror and disgust

- Izzy chases Jude playfully with a rubber sword and trips on some tripwire, hitting herself with a sword.

- Scott gets chased by another Drone of Despair covered in lots of black goop and one goggly eye. Alejandro watches and rolls his eyes in an "I think I seen this film before" manner.

That’s Gonna Leave a Mark ends with thunderous applause.

Bridgette: That was really… enjoying to see (smiles creepily)

Geoff: Uhh… Bridge… better get on with the show before-

Bridgette snaps back to reality.

Bridgette: Oh… well… I guess it’s time to introduce our very first g-

Sierra manages to get on stage with a functioning mic, anger

Sierra: DON’T EVEN THINK OF PUTTING MY CODY IN THAT STUPID S-

Bridgette pulls out a walkie-talkie

Bridgette: Code 1 on the stage. Angry lad-

Sierra: NO ONE MAKES JOKES ABOUT CODY GETTING HURttttt

Sierra gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and falls asleep. Lightning drags Sierra back to her seat.

Geoff: Now that is out of the way, let’s move on to our first guest of tonight, Julia!

Julia walks on stage, using her phone. Julia puts down her phone and sits right next to Bridgette.

Julia: Hello, butt knuckles! Such a great sight, isn’t it?

Bridgette: Welcome to Total DramaRama Aftermath, Julia!

Julia: No talk, get to the questions.

Geoff: Well then, let’s get to Truth… or anvil!

MK flies a Drone of Despair holding an anvil as Bridgette puts Harold’s lie detector on her head.

Julia: Hey… girlfriend…

Bridgette: If you lie, you know what happens…

Julia: I know. Now GET ON WITH IT!

Bridgette: First question, which "butt-kunckle", other than MK, would you rank the highest…

Julia thinks for a while… and snaps

Julia: I DON’T KNOW?!

The lie detector beeps.

Bridgette: That’s a lie!

Julia: WHAT?! This thing is rigged! MK… you wouldn’t drop it on me… would ya?

MK: (chuckles)… wait… are you serious? Of course!

The drone of despair drops an anvil onto Julia.

MK: Sorry about that… but rules are rules.

Julia: FINE! Heather. Happy now?

The lie detector is broken and cannot be used.

Bridgette: We would need a new lie detector… and yup… you got it!

Geoff: Second question-

Video call noises can be heard.

Geoff: Looks like we’ve got a video guest for tonight!

Raihan appears on the screen behind them. He is in a room, with an open door behind him.

Raihan: Hello, guys! I’m (sing-songy voice) back!

Julia: Oh, not you again.

Raihan: Relax, I hate you more than you hate me, you fat d-

Julia: And isn’t it that [censored] that EXPOSED ME

Raihan: Oh please, you were a [censored] FIRST ON ONE OF MY LIVESTREAMS. I could easily figure it’s you… because… well…

Julia: Can we get on with Truth or Anvil?! Cos… (smirks) I think our lovely video guest would love to do it.

Geoff: Sorry, Julia, but we can’t do that right now…

Julia: Oh really? Scott. Get the portal maker thing Harold has and some of Raihan’s hair.

Scott appears on stage, with the portal thing from S4E15 and a ziplock bag of one strand of Raihan’s hair.

Raihan: Oh no, don’t you dare do it-

Julia: Oh, yes… do it, Scott

Scott: And why should I do it… Julia?

Julia: I’ll… give you a box of donut-

Scott: Done. (shoves the DNA into the portal maker)

A portal appears right next to Raihan, sucking him in. Another portal appears right above Cody, where Raihan falls from. Raihan lands on Cody… but there is no awake Sierra to stop it. Raihan, confused, awkwardly looks at Lightning

Raihan: Uhh… hi, Lightning…

Lightning: That… was a surprise.

The two fist bump.

MK flies the Drone of Despair above Raihan and drops an anvil on him.

Lightning: I don’t know how he got here or what the sha-heck is going on… but you BETTER STOP HURTING MY FRIENDS!

MK: Oh, really… well, I guess you’ll have to speak to the Drone… I guess.

Lightning gets hit by another anvil dropped by the Drone.

Geoff and Bridgette cringe at what happened, as Raihan makes his way to the stage for his question.

Bridgette: Well… looks like we got a second guest taking on Truth or Anvil!

Geoff: So, Raihan… how did you figure out that Julia was the one that trolled you on your stream? (puts on another lie detector onto Raihan)

Raihan: Well… uhh… OK FINE! I DID TONS OF RESEARCH… I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS EXACTLY BUT I DID TONS OF RESEARCH TO FIND OUT WHO THAT PERSON IS… and… y- (looks up and sees an anvil and the Drone of Despair)… oh.

Raihan screams as he gets hit by yet another anvil.

Julia: Oh, is that so? You tried doxxing me you [censored]head?

Raihan: Well… at least I did not post your personal information online. I just need to know who you are… and how I can plot… revenge.

Julia: What can I say, you really sucked in that game. You’re overrated.

Raihan: Well, all YOU DO is post random selfies! I DO MORE THAN THAT.

Julia: Huh, I guess you’ll have to talk to my three million followers on MySelfieGram.

Raihan: At least I’m not a [censored]

Julia: If I had to pick between saving you and fighting a bear, I’d pick the bear.

Raihan: Your shoes… are tacky.

Julia: Your hat… is ugly

Raihan and Julia constantly curse at each other, as Geoff and Bridgette stare at the camera… shocked.

Geoff: Well then… time for the musical performance arranged by Juli-

A producer hands a note to Geoff.

Geoff: In a shocking twist of events, Raj got into a car accident, so Julia’s performance is cancelled!

Everyone gasps as Raihan claps slowly, smirking at Julia.

Raihan: What… I still feel bad for Raj, I have feelings… unlike miss "Everyone Is a Butt Knuckle Except For Me"

Julia: Well, what a shame, they won’t be able to hear my vocal prow-

Wayne runs from backstage, in distress and in a tuxedo

Wayne: Wait… RAJIE’S IN A CAR ACCIDENT?!

Bridgette: (sighs)… yes.

Wayne: NOOOOOOoooooo (cries and runs to the keyboard and plays random chords on it, unintentionally starting a short musical number)

[MUSICAL NUMBER: Rev Up Power Up by OR3O ft. Thai McGrath]

Raihan: Admit it, I am a way better singer than you.

Julia: At least I can sing way lower than you.

Raihan and Julia compete to see who can sing the lowest, singing no and yes respectively. Raihan wins.

Julia: Well, you are a dude, does it make you prouder?

Raihan: Well, I bet I can sing so much higher and louder!

They compete to see who can sing the highest this time. Julia screams a high-pitched yes.

Raihan: Well, you are a girl.

[MUSICAL NUMBER ENDS]

Julia: Yeah, so what? Boys are better?

Raihan: No… It’s just that you are such a-

Julia: I’m not a mirror.

Raihan: Oh. It’s just that I’m such a lovely person and you’re not!

Julia: (sighs) You’re stupid.

Raihan: NO I’M NOT.

? (from the video call): Is Raihan ok? 

! (from the video call): I don’t know… he hasn’t left the room in five minutes! We’re supposed to play some video games together… I’ll go check on him.

Footsteps can be heard. ! enters the room. Raihan and Alejandro (in the audience) recognize him.

!: Hey… Raihan, what are you doing there?

Raihan: Leon, you won’t believe what I am about to-

Alejandro: Cuz?… Leon?

Leon: Alejandro?! What are you-

Alejandro: Finally, you said my name right. Oh, por favor, I had to stand you calling me Al for four years straight. That, as well as my [censored] brother Jose.

Leon: Because… (sighs) I don’t know how to pronounce your name. But what I do know… is that you’ve grown five inches since we last met, eh?

Alejandro: Always got that sharp eye, Lee.

Leon: Anyways… what is Raihan… doing there?

Julia: Let me explain it for you, butt knuckle-

Raihan: No, LET ME EXPLAIN!

Raihan and Julia get into a catfight.

?: Uhh… Raihan… baby? Are you alright?

Leon: Well… he’s fine! He’s just having a cat-fight… with a pillow!

?: Ok…? I’ll just wait for him downstairs, if that’s alright with you.

Leon: Phew… that could’ve gotten… (sees the fighting) worse

[commercial break]

Raihan and Julia are still fighting, and Geoff and Bridgette are standing at a corner, unsure on how to stop it. Lightning and MK run on-stage and hold back their respective best friends.

MK: Will YOU TWO GET A GRIP AND STOP FIGHTING?!

Lightning: We had ENOUGH of your FIGHTING for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT!

Wayne: It’s been three hours?!

MK: (sighs)

Everyone: Yes.

Raihan: It’s been three hours?!

Julia: Oh, the stupidity.

Raihan: I’m not stupid…

Lightning: Uhh… I think we might have to close the-

Julia pulls out a nerf gun and laughs maniacally

Raihan pulls out a bigger paintgun, unfazed.

The two starts pulling out more larger guns.

Lightning: We should really do something about it…

MK: Three steps ahead of you, jockstrap. (drops an anvil on the two)

Julia and Raihan gets knocked out.

Bridgette: Ooooof… now that is one way to end an Aftermath!

Geoff: What new hijinks will happen fourteen episodes later?

Geoff and Bridgette: Find out next time on Total. DramaRama. Aftermath!

The camera zooms out as Leon stops the video call. Cody helps drag the two influencers off and remove the anvils. He trips.

Cody: I’m a cleaner person thing!

Chapter Text

The episode starts in the classroom. Chef Hatchet is telling a story to the kids.

Chef Hatchet: And so, Janice the Rabbit decided to pay back her friend Terry’s kindness by giving him his favourite snack: birdseed! Terry’s wings circled Janice. "Thank you!", said Terry. "You’re welcome," said Janice, "‘cos that’s what friendship and kindness is all about". The end. (close the book)

Chef Hatchet: So, what did you learn?

Scott: This story is so boring.

Gwen: (chuckles) It would’ve been funnier if Terry strangled Janice to death.

Scott gulps in fear.

Everyone is murmuring about the story

Chef Hatchet: (sighs) The moral of the story is, be kind to others. And if you are kind to other people, good things will come to you. What goes around comes around. We all owe each other some good actions. So?

Courtney raises her hand.

Chef Hatchet: Yes, Courtney?

Courtney: This will create a ripple effect, spreading lots of love and sunshine around the world.

Duncan: Pfft, yeah right. This whole kindness story is so boring.

CONFESSIONAL:

Duncan: Well, what’s the point of being kind? It’s not like you’ll get a medal or something?

Heather raises her hand.

Chef Hatchet: Yes, Heather?

Heather: So, if someone does something bad to us, can we do something bad to them back?

Chef Hatchet: No. The bad person has to make something up for it-

Heather: Ok. (runs off)

Heather exits the classroom and enters the hallway leading to the kitchen. She looks around for anyone looking before rushing into the kitchen. She notices a lunchbox with a maple leaf on it.

Heather: (smiles evilly) Oh, Owen will pay.

Heather opens a lunchbox and finds Owen’s cookies. She gobbles up the cookies like an animal, as Owen walks into the kitchen. Owen gasps in fear as Heather eats the cookies.

Heather: Sup.

Owen: NOT MY COOKIES-

Heather: Remember what Chef said about bad stuff? You killed Susan last week, so you have to make it up by giving me cookies. Which, I did so myself… by eating them.

Owen: BUT YOU’RE STEALING MY FOOD! YOU GOTTA… (thinks for a while) feed me some smores?

Heather: Nuh uh! You did something bad first!

Owen: Well, I did not mean to… and now look what you DID!

Heather burps as she finishes eating all the cookies.

Heather: What can I say, you got what you deserved.

Owen: OH CHE-

Heather: Shut up, fatty-

Owen: OH NO YOU SAID IT-

Heather and Owen fight each other as Jude enters the kitchen, shocked.

Jude: Hey dudes… why are you fighting?

Owen: Heather stole my cookies!

Heather: Well, Owen killed Susan!

Jude: Dudette, Susan is just a doll. You can always buy another, plus-

Heather: I RAISED SUSAN LIKE A MOM FOR THE PAST MONTH WITH ALEJANDRO, AND YOU CALL HER JUST A DOLL?!

Jude: Calm down, girl… you can’t do bad stuff just because other people did bad stuff to you, brah. It will only make things wors-

Heather: You better pay me five bucks, or I’m telling Chef-

Jude: JEEZ, here you go (hands $5).

Heather: Thank you-

Jude: Now, please apologise to Owen. He did nothing wrong. The whole thing was an accident, he did not even know-

Heather: IZZY WARNED HIM ABOUT IT! (screams)

Jude: Well, if you’re gonna play this game… uhh… I’ll be right back.

Ten minutes pass.

Jude: Since you’ve been such a bad person, here’s a list of stuff you owe.

Heather: WHAT?! They don’t owe me stuff-

Jude: Let me remind you of the time… you bursted Lightning’s ball?

A flashback starts. Lightning is playing catch with Cody and Sierra.

Cody: Catch, Mr Bear!

Lightning: (sighs) Cody, that’s a stuffed animal-

Sierra: Come on, dude! Let my Cody have some fun.

The ball bounces off Mr Bear and is about to hit a spot near Heather. Heather purposefully takes out some scissors, as if she’s about to do arts and crafts. The ball pops. Lightning hears the pop, and sees Heather with the scissors.

Lightning: HEATHER! YOU CAN’T… (starts crying) do this…

Heather: Whoops, accidents can happen.

CONFESSIONAL:

Heather: And that was totally on purpose.

The flashback ends.

Heather: Yeah, so what?

Jude: If you want people to compensate you for their bad behaviour, you have to compensate others for yours.

Heather: UGH, those stupid peasa-

Jude: What goes around comes around! And here’s Lightning… whom I think wants to talk to you.

Heather: Uhh… hey, Lightning…

Lightning: You gotta give me a new ball!

Heather: Why… it’s… it’s an accident.

Lightning: Well, that’s not how I’ve been telling the story. Now GIVE LIGHTNING A NEW BALL-

Jude holds Lightning back.

Lightning: Dude, calm down… it will make things worse-

Lightning manages to let go and starts fighting with Heather.

Harold: Hey, Lightning… you’ve got some overdue fines for borrowing my football launcher machine.

Lightning: (drops Heather onto the floor) Didn’t I break it two weeks ago-

Harold: (gasps) You broke it?! That’s an extra five dollars, and here’s the bill.

Lightning: This is garbage! Sharing is car-

Harold: Yeah, it’s mine and it costed FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS! (cries before screaming) IF YOU WANNA PLAY THAT GAME, PAY THE FULL FIVE HUNDRED!

Lightning: Uhh… would you like a new ball-

Harold: You could literally get a new ball… for ten dollars!

Lightning: Dude, it was an accident. Unlike Miss "Accidents Can Happen"-

Heather: HEY! You called me a name on purpose, so I have the right to break your ball!

Lightning groans in anger as Jude awkwardly skateboards away

CONFESSIONAL:

Jude: Dude, things are getting way out of hand. I better tell Chef.

Jude knocks on Chef Hatchet’s door.

Jude: Hey, Chef. (opens the door)

Chef Hatchet: Yes, Jude?

Jude: Dude, your whole kindness story is starting to fall apart.

Chef Hatchet: Come on, they aren’t fighting each other, they’re learning to be kind.

Jude: Well, brah, they’re literally fighting each other for what they "owe" each other.

Chef Hatchet: Well, this daycare has never been this peaceful befor-

Jude: You always say that every time and when that happens, things go-

A ball flies through the window.

Jude:…haywire.

Chef Hatchet: Yeah, I’m not convinced.

Jude slaps his face. Meanwhile, Priya is chasing Duncan for a prank he did on her yesterday.

Duncan: IT’S LITERALLY BEEN A DAY, and yeah it’s funny, BUT WHY ARE YOU COMING AFTER ME WITH A FRYING PAN?!

Priya: You owe one to the head, Duncan. You know tha-

Duncan accidentally trips on Jude’s skateboard and falls on it. It manages to get him out of the daycare, and Priya’s line of sight.

Jude: Oh, so that’s where my skateboard went.

Priya: Hey, have you seen Duncan anywhere?

Jude: Well… I can’t remember?

Priya: Ok. (runs off) Come out, come out, wherever you are…

Meanwhile, Owen pulls Heather’s hear and Heather is grabbing Owen’s leg, as if they’re in a game of tug-of-war.

Owen: You better PAY FOR MY COOKIES!

Heather: Well, you better PAY FOR SUSAN!

Lightning manages to jump in and pin down Heather.

Lightning: And you better pay for my ball!

Harold uses a plunger to stick Lightning to a wall

Harold: And you better PAY for my FOOTBALL LAUNCHER!

Jude enters the kitchen as a chain reaction of fighting is ongoing. Lightning throws a chair at him but misses.

Lightning: Jude… uhh… sorry about the… chair thing…

Jude: Seriously dudes, this whole "owe each other" thing has to stop!

Beth: Well, HOW IS OWEN GOING TO PAY FOR EATING MY BOOGERS?!

Owen: They were tasty Beth, and YOU PLACED THEM ON MY LUNCHBOX! It’s now dirty, thanks to you.

Scott: Well, you GUYS owe me ten dollars.

Beth: Why?

Scott: My free trial of jokes has ended, so it’s time for you guys to pay for them. And no, you can’t unsubscribe.

CONFESSIONAL:

Scott: Just cashing in on this whole "owe each other" thing. I need some quick cash, dude. 

Heather: (groans) I did not understand a single word you’re saying. Also, your jokes are terrible.

Scott: Say THAT AGAIN? (pulls out a baseball bat and chases Heather) GET BACK HERE!

Heather screams in fear as everyone else resumes fighting.

Jude knocks on Chef’s door, this time, bruised.

Chef Hatchet: If it’s this whole "owe each other" thing, then I’m bu-

Jude falls over, revealing his bruised body

Chef Hatchet: HOLY MACARONI, WHAT HAPPENED?

Jude:…this whole "owe each other" thing is getting out of hand… You need to do something about it…

Chef Hatchet: JUDE, why didn’t you tell me earlier?

Jude sighs in disappointment.

Chef Hatchet enters into the kitchen, now unrecognizable due to the chaos caused by the kids. Shouting is everywhere, as Chef Hatchet tries to take a step back and walk away. Just as he is about to do so, Jude stops him.

Jude: Dude, you promised me you’d do something about it.

Chef Hatchet: I don’t know man, but this whole thing is out of hand… and it’s all…

Jude: You may have caused this mess… but if there’s one person anyone would listen to, it’s you. So, get back into the kitchen and show them what you’ve got!

Chef Hatchet: (sighs) Fine…

Chef Hatchet re-enters the kitchen and takes a deep breath

Chef Hatchet: (whisper) I can’t do this…

Jude: (whisper) I know you can…

Chef Hatchet: (sighs) KIDS, STOP THIS FIGHTING!

Everyone stops

Chef Hatchet: (whisper) I did it, Jude!

Jude: (whisper) I knew you can do it, dude!

Chef Hatchet: Yeah, doing bad stuff would make you deserve bad stuff happens to you…

Heather: Yeah, so?

Chef Hatchet: But if you fight just because of this, aren’t you making more bad stuff happen?

Heather: I’m listening…

Chef Hatchet: Then there would be more bad stuff to repay, and it will only make things worse? Don’t you guys want things to be better?

Heather: (sighs) Yeah…

Chef Hatchet: Then, stop fighting with each other over who deserves right.

Heather: You know, Chef… maybe you’re right.

Chef Hatchet: And as punishment for making such a huge mess… and all this fighting, TIME OUTS. THREE WEEKS.

Everyone groans as they walk out of the kitchen and into the timeout corner.

Chef Hatchet: Well, things could’ve gone much worse-

Jude: Dude, whenever someone says that, things do get much worse.

Chef Hatchet: Wait what-

The daycare crumbles due to the damage inflicted by the fighting

Chef Hatchet: You’re right… it does get much worse.

Chapter Text

The episode opens up in a daycare, facing Gwen’s egg chair, open. Gwen is sitting inside it.

Gwen: (sighs) Another day in school, another day dealing with (points to something in front of her) them

Cutaway Gag: Cody sucking his thumb before getting hit by a ball.

Scott confidently walks up to the egg chair, whistling. Gwen notices him and closes her egg chair shut.  Scott politely knocks it twice.

Gwen: Go away.

Scott: Come on, don’t make me crack your egg (chuckles)

Gwen: I will hurt you if you do so.

Scott: (sighs) Open up. Cos I’ve got a surprise…

Gwen: (opens the eggchair) What?

Scott: I GOT TWO TICKETS TO SMILEY’S BIG AMUSEMENT PARK!

Gwen closes the eggchair

Scott: Wow, rude.

CONFESSIONAL:

Gwen: I HATE theme parks with mascots that SMILE.

CONFESSIONAL:

Scott: I’m trying to open up to Gwen here. She’s just too sad and miserable. I’m trying to let her loose and smile, instead of being cooped up in this eggchair.

Scott: Come on, Gwen! Stop sulking and get out… we’ve got an entire day to enjoy ourselves-

Gwen: I ALREADY TOLD YOU. NO-

Scott: (sing-songy) You don’t have a choice… (chuckles)

Gwen: No. And there is NO WAY you can convince me to come.

Scott: Oh, really? (pushes the egg chair)

Gwen: MAKE IT STOP!

Time skip. Gwen (in the egg chair) is shouting inaudibly inside the egg chair, while Scott leans on it.

Scott: What? Ready for some fun?!

Gwen: (inaudible noises and shaking of egg chair)

Scott: What? Yes?

Gwen stops shaking her egg chair in anger.

Scott: Great-

Gwen continues shaking the egg chair, this time, it is more violent.

Time skip. Gwen and Scott are now in Smiley’s Big Amusement Park, with the egg chair behind them.

Gwen: Just get me out of here.

Scott: No can do, goth girl. Just have a little ray of sunshine in your life, won’t ya?

Gwen: I already told you, NO.

Scott: Come on, Gwen! I had to push your egg chair to the amusement park! Don’t you know how hard it is? Now let’s go!

Scott drags Gwen to the ticket counter.

MacArthur: Hello, kids. How… may I-

Scott and Gwen skip the ticket counter and redeem their tickets. They enter a long room that leads to the entrance of the theme park. A digitalized version of Smiley, the mascot of the theme park appears right next to Gwen.

Gwen: AAAH! Who are you?!

Smiley: I’m Smiley, everyone’s best friend-

Gwen: I’m not your friend, creepy head.

Scott: That’s Gwen. She’s emotionless and hates normal girl stuff-

Gwen: I infested your cupboard with cockroaches last night.

Scott: That was you?!

Gwen: Yup.

Smiley: (coughs) Anyways… what’s your name, other guy.

Scott: Name’s Scott. Pleasure to…

Scott and Smiley: meat you. (chuckles)

Smiley: Looks like someone knows all my puns.

Scott: You bet!

Smiley: And also… oooh, you’ll want to snag a stamp card. If you get all four stamps, you win a prize!

Scott: What’s the prize?

Smiley: You’ll find out once you get the stamps (chuckles)… Now GET OUT THERE AND GET STAMPIN!

Scott: On it. (runs and drags Gwen along)

CONFESSIONAL:

Gwen: THIS DAY SUCKS!

Gwen and Scott now enter the theme park

Scott: Can’t you believe it Gwen?! We’re here!

Gwen: Yeah, wake me up when it’s over (walks away)

Scott:… Gwen… wait up!

The camera zooms out to show an aerial view of the theme park, with Scott in the center.

Scott: Oh crud… I lost her.

CONFESSIONAL:

Scott: It’s not like she’d be in great danger anyways… right? Nah.

A two-minute montage is shown in the following order:

- Scott is enjoying himself, alone, on a roller coaster

- Gwen sulkily eats oatmeal at a restaurant inside

- Scott is spinning around in the teacups, and sees another girl. He inaudibly flirts with her as if they’re in a tea party.

- Gwen walks around, trying to find the exit, and finds one kid that seems gloomy. Gwen gets confused.

- Scott plays some arcade games and wastes all his savings.

- Gwen sits there, doing nothing, pondering about what she just saw. A handful of gloomy kids show up.

- Scott tries to fill in his stamp card to earn that very special prize that Smiley promised. Actually, he is running aimlessly trying to find a booth. He passes by the arcade games, and decides to play some of them. He fails in all of the booths, except for surprisingly, darts.

- A gloomy kid accidentally drops his filled stamp card in front of Gwen. Gwen picks it up.

The montage ends at the last scene

Gwen: Hmmm… what is this? (picks up another stamp card and reads it)… get all the stamps to win a prize.

CONFESSIONAL:

Gwen: Something… might be wrong about this place. Huh, maybe I’d stay for a little… longer

Gwen walks around, trying to find anything unusual. She runs into Scott, now with a one stamp missing

Scott: Hey, Gwen! Enjoying the theme park (imitates Gwen in a Beetlejuice-like style) Yes I am, Yes I am!

Gwen: NO. And by the way, (pulls Scott closer) something is very wrong about this place.

Scott: What? Everyone is having tons of fun.

Gwen: Yeah right, there are people that are just straight up bored and sad, just look at him (points at a boy that is not one of the gloomy kids, but seems like one)

Scott: That’s Trinton. He’s just shy and all, and the creme de la creme, he has (whispers to Gwen) anxiety.

Gwen: Oh… well there-

Scott: Shut up. Have some fun. I’m gonna get my special prize (runs off)

Gwen stares at Scott as he runs off, before dragging Trinton along with her.

Gwen: You’re coming with me.

Trinton: Well… uhh why?

Gwen: There’s something seriously wrong with this place, and I need your help with this.

Trinton: You could’ve picked… Scott-

Gwen: He’s unavailable.

Trinton: I’m not the brightest person for this job… I… well…

Gwen: Are you in?

Trinton: (gulps) Yes.

Gwen: Good. Let’s go. (continues dragging Trinton)

Meanwhile, Scott finds a clue to the final stamp, in some cotton candy he bought and ate.

Scott: (reads the clue) Come to a city of green to get a stamp… totally… not stolen and in the public domain?

Scott looks up and sees the Emerald City, a part of the theme park. One Short Day starts playing

Scott: City of green… the stamp… it must be here!

[MUSICAL NUMBER: "One Short Day" from Wicked]

Legend: Italics represent lines sung by some background chorus

One short day… in the emerald city

Emerald city…

[Trinton and Gwen follow Scott into the Emerald City]

Gwen (spoken): Seriously? Something this happy?…

[Trinton freezes in fear]

Gwen (spoken): (sighs) They won’t even last a single month-

Trinton (spoken): Why?

Gwen (spoken): Copyright. Always screws everything over.

Emerald city…

[VERSE 1]

One short day in the emerald city

One short day full of so much to do

Every way that you look in the city

There’s something exquisite

You’ll want to visit

Before the day’s through

[The scenes alternate between Scott and Gwen/Trinton as the song progresses]

Scott: There are buildings tall as redwood trees

Gwen: (sees something happy) AAAH, what is this-

Scott: and libraries

Gwen: STUPID UNICORNS

Scott: Museums

[Gwen/Trinton and Scott run into each other]

Gwen and Scott: A hundred-

[Trinton gets caught off-guard and screams in fear]

Trinton (spoken): …Oh… uh-

Scott (spoken): Hi guy-

Gwen: There are horrors (referring to the happy stuff all over the Emerald City, and the theme park in general) like I’ve never seen

Scott: It’s so grand

Trinton: And it’s all… green

Scott: I think I found a place where I belong… (skips away and leaves Gwen and Trinton behind. The two follow Scott soon after)

[PRE-CHORUS]

Scott: I wanna be in this hoi piloi!

Gwen: And I will leave for good someday, but I got something pressing today, so-

Scott: Before the day’s over I’ll enjoy (vocalises in a way that it seems impossible for a four year old)

[CHORUS]

One short day in the Emerald City

[Scott finds the stamp booth he needs and stamps his card. It is now complete]

One short day full of so much to do

[Gwen and Trinton see Scott get the stamp. Gwen drags Trinton along, trying to keep to Scott’s tail]

Every way that you look in the city

There’s something exquisite

You’ll want to visit before the day’s through

[SPOKEN PART]

Scott: (folds open another fold on his stamp card and finds a message, and reads it) You’ve got all your stamps… refer to a staff member for your prize! Oh boy, they’re gonna be impressed by the prize I get! (squeals)

Trinton: (still gets dragged) I don’t think this is a good i- (bumps onto something) OW-

? (from the speakers): Presenting the absolute factual story of The Wizard… totally not stolen from a musical and in the public domain!

Gwen: (sighs) It isn’t-

[BRIDGE]

Who's the mage

Whose major itinerary

Is making this place merrier?

Who's the sage who's sagely sailed in to save our posteriors

Whose enthuse for hot air ballooning

Has everyone honeymooning

Woo - oo - oo

Wiz-n't he wonderful?

Our wonderful Wizard!

[OUTRO]

One short day in the Emerald City

[Scott finds a staff member and runs up to him]

One short day to have a lifetime of fun

Scott (spoken): Hey, mister… I got the full stamp card and-

What a way to be seeing the city…

[Gwen and Trinton manage to make it in time, panting]

[MUSICAL NUMBER ENDS]

Gwen (spoken): Well, hi there, sir…

Staff Member: And who are you supposed to be?

Gwen (spoken): We’ve managed to get two… stamp cards that are complete!

Staff Member: Wonderful! Let’s get you three the prize! (smiles creepily)

CONFESSIONAL:

Scott: (sing-songy) I’m getting a prize! I’m getting a prize!

CONFESSIONAL:

Trntion: Maybe Gwen’s… right, there’s something wrong with…

The kids follow the Staff Member to a monorail station inside the Emerald City.

Staff Member: Move aside, we’ve got some prize winners here!

Scott: Don’t you know, Gwen? We’re gonna come back with the best prizes there is to be. Over at Smiley’s Big Theme Park-

Gwen: I’m not here for the prize. I’m here to get to the bottom of the whole gloo-

Scott: Gloomy kids? Pfft, there are none. Just look at Trinton, he’s so happy and gleeful inside.

Trinton stares at the camera, frozen by what is going on around him

Scott: Ahhh… nevermind. Anyways, we’re gonna get something good… I wonder what it could be…

[MUSICAL NUMBER: "Something Good"]

Ironically, the instrumental of "Something Bad" from Wicked plays in the foreground. It’s a parody anyways

Scott:

I think there’s candy or something dandy

Oooh, something that I can decorate your egg chair, Gwen…

[Gwen: Get away from me.]

Maybe something that will put Trinton’s frown upside down

Trinton:

Uhh… I’d rather stay frozen in shock…

Scott:

That hardly rhymes anyway but…

Something good is coming to us-

Something-

Gwen (spoken): Bad-

Scott (spoken): Really? Don’t be such a killjoy.

Scott:

Nothing bad… is gonna happen to us…

Nothing truly b-

[MUSICAL NUMBER ENDS]

Staff Member: We’re here!

The kids see that they are in a weird, dark facility. A distorted version of "Chair de Lune" starts playing in the background.

Trinton: Where… are we?

Scott: Come on guys! The prize is this way! (runs off)

Gwen: (grips Trinton’s hand much harder) Stay close. We don’t know what this stupid theme park is up to.

Staff Member: What are we… up to? Nothing, (chuckles)

Gwen: Just tell us what the prize is and-

Meanwhile, Scott is running through a maze of piped halls

Scott: Hello? Anyone… Man, this prize is getting a little… whammy. (chuckles) Get it, guys?…

The camera zooms out

Scott: Guys?… (sighs)

Scott walks, now a little skeptical and scared, contrasting his initial excitement. He sees a large room, that is completely dark.

Scott: Oh… uhh… anyone? (pulls out his phone flashlight and sees another exit)

Scott exits through the other exit and sees a gloomy kid.

Scott: Gwen’s right… there are gloomy kids… (whispers to the gloomy kid) Uranus.

The gloomy kids does not respond.

Scott: Two penguins stand on top of an iceberg… one of them says, "radio"!… No response… You couldn’t get your stamp?

Scott still does not get a response.

Scott: (sighs) This is a sham… I better tell my friends! (runs back)

Scott runs back to the dark big room.

Scott: Guys? (runs into a wall) OW!

The room turns on, and mysterious power on noises can be heard.

Scott: Oh, hey guys! Guess what? Gwen was right. There really are gloomy kids. It really does make Gwen look like her cousin, minus the dragon scales of course.

Gwen: HEY!

Scott: Anyways, I figured it out! There is no prize. This is all a waste of time! No wonder the kids are gloomy.

Staff member: (sighs) There is a prize. You three sit on these conveniently placed chairs to get a congratulations message!

Three chairs pop up, as well as a weird laser thing in front of them.

Scott: Yeah… this looks sus…

Gwen: (gasps) There really is a prize…

Scott: What’s the prize.

Gwen: Oh, you will sure love the prize Scott. They’re gonna slurp up all your emotions away, so say goodbye to that irritating smile. (frowns immediately)

Scott: (gasps in horror) NO… nononononononono…

Trinton: But… why?

?: Oh, I’ll tell you why…

Smiley appears on the screen, a bit… frustrated

Smiley: Oh, (sarcastic) congratulations Gwen, you FIGURED IT OUT!

Gwen: (sarcastic) You’re welcome.

Trinton: I have to go soon… this is getting… bad…

Smiley: Anyways… there’s no point trying to (taunts Gwen) slurp up all your emotions away, (stops taunting Gwen) you literally…

The screen now shows live footage of them, with stats of "emotion" inside.

Smiley:… have ZERO. EMOTION. And your friends on the other hand… are full of what I need to get. A body. Then, I shall take over the world!

Gwen: (sarcastic) Wow, your plan has absolutely zero holes in it.

Smiley: I know, I’m a pure evil genius… wait a minute, are you sarcastic?

Gwen: Yup. You can’t even make a plan to take over the world. This day is rather… disappointing.

Smiley: Well… I don’t even need these chairs to take you guys out! This laser isn’t all about extracting emotions… watch. (fires a laser at the Staff Member, literally turning him into an adult-sized pile of marshmallows)

Scott freezes in fear as Trinton screams in horror.

Gwen: This day just got interesting.

CONFESSIONAL:

Gwen: You know, maybe Smiley isn’t as bad as I thought he would be… or he already is.

Smiley: Now with that out of the way… let’s dance.

The kids run out of the large room.

Smiley: (sighs) Guess I’ll just have to follow them… myself.

The laser retracts

Thirty seconds later, the laser starts chasing them, firing at them repeatedly.

Smiley: Come back here, kids!

Trinton: This is bad this is bad this is- (almost gets hit and screams)

Scott: What do we do?!

Gwen: I have an idea… but it will be really stupid and it may not work.

Scott: Oh, tell me, goth girl. I’m in…

A few minutes pass. Scott stops moving.

Scott: Wait, stop!

Smiley: What? Ready to accept your fate?

Scott: Yup! I’m ready for my prize… (chuckles)

Smiley: Well then… FIRE AWAY!

The laser fires an emotion extraction ray at Scott. Scott however, feels… nothing.

Scott: (yawns) What? This feels like a suntan… except less torturous and painful because there is no chores to do.

Smiley: WHAT? (glitches) Too… much… emotion (glitches further and powers down and digitally explodes).

The facility starts a self-destruct sequence that starts. The camera cuts to an aerial view of the theme park, now about to explode. People can be heard panicking, some going back through the start.

Trinton: This… is bad-

Scott: I’ve already tasted death once… bring it o-

Trinton runs and drags Gwen and Scott along… he gets inaudibly and visibly stressed trying to find the exit… even thought it is one long hallway. The trio manages to run in time and find the exit, and are back to the entrance of the park. They run through the awkwardly long entrance hallway where they first met Smiley. The screen is now powered down and less magical. They escape and run past the ticketing booth.

MacArthur: It’s not like anything can go wor-

The theme park explodes behind her.

MacArthur: And there goes my 500th job.

Scott: (phew) At least things could’ve gotten a little worse-

Chef Hatchet’s car crashes onto Gwen’s egg chair.

Chef Hatchet: KIDS?! I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU! YOU CAN’T JUST SNEAK OUT OF CLA-

Gwen notices a… major dent in her egg chair and starts fuming

Scott: This… is bad… (runs away and drags Trinton with him)

Gwen: (screams) GET BACK HERE! (chases after them)

Chapter Text

Dear all, thank you so much for your support of Total DramaRama: The Fanmade Season 4.

It’s been many months, I’ll admit it… about six months or so?

Just wanted to let you know that I plan on doing more chapters as soon as possible, but other fanfics are taking higher priority first. Unfortunately, TDR4 is not one of those fics, but I’ve re-read some chapters and I really, really like them… however there are some stuff that I might have a little bit of issues with/would wanna re-write.

So, I might wanna re-write the fanfic, not from the ground up, of course! Think of it like Dandy’s Piece (from the DW wiki… been a while since I saw it around)

If I do move this fanfic to another separate fanfic, this would be changed to the BETA version, like Disventure Camp 1 and 2. And unfortunately, I had an April Fools Day special with Scott as an antagonist… but I might have to can it. The next episode is a World Tour episode, where I’m bringing back a certain influencer/James Costa ender (luv u james)

And speaking of (Lightning and) Raihan… they would appear in other fics, mostly as a little duo. In fact, I have Lightning (alongside Alec and Fiore) planned to be characters in The Superhero Files. And speaking of Raihan, his appearance in the Million Tape Game-

"NO." - 🟦🐉 (DW)

Would you let me finish? Anyways, his appearance would be in a later season… mainly because-

"NO." - 🟦🐉 (DW)

"You gotta respect him, man… or he’d punch you in the face" - 🟦🐉 (Pokemon)

Eh, fine… anyways, signing off… it’s Brachy! luv you all :>