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Disclaimer: I do not own Bridgerton or any of its characters. Anything you may recognize belongs to Julia Quinn, Netflix and any original creators.
Colin felt awful, particularly when he thought about attending the ball tonight. He had been watching Lord Debling court Penelope for the last few weeks and it has been absolute torture. He knew that Debling was not the right man for Penelope. He was not the kind of man that she deserved. When he agreed to help her find a husband, he certainly was not the man that Colin had envisioned for her.
"Colin!"
He was interrupted from his thoughts as he heard his mother calling for him. Colin didn't wait more than a moment before he left his bed chambers and headed down the staircase where he found his mother, shortly about to head out for another ball.
"I think I am going to skip the festivities tonight," Colin said.
"Are you certain?" Violet asked, raising an eyebrow. "I spoke with Miss Featherington today and I hear that Penelope may be receiving a proposal tonight,"
Colin looked up, feeling his chest tighten. "From Lord Debling?"
"I suppose," Violet nodded. "I noticed him in her company at last few balls," She did not know if Penelope had other suitors, so she could only assume it would be him. "Miss Featherington is telling anyone who will listen," Though she can't recall if she mentioned the suitor specifically. "I thought we could be there in support of her,"
Colin could not support that. If anything, he would want to stop it. Penelope marrying that man, just felt wrong. She didn't belong with him."I…"
"Are you certain you don't wish to attend?" Violet asked again. "I am sure Penelope would wish you to be in company tonight,"
"I am unwell," Colin said quickly.
Violet placed a hand on his forehead and frowned. "You seem to have a fever,"
"Pardon?" Colin looked at her surprised.
"You really are unwell," Violet said.
Colin cleared his throat. "That is what I had said…." Colin felt ill, but it was caused by an actual illness that was unexpected.
"Perhaps I should stay back as well," Violet was concerned.
"No," Colin shook his head. "You should go. Be there for Francesca," He frowned, as Penelope occupied his thoughts again. "And give my regards to Penelope,"
"Alright," Violet nodded. "I do hope you feel better,"
Colin nodded, heading back to his bed chambers. Not sure if he would be able to get any rest this evening.
Penelope was heading to the ball with her mother and sisters. Her mother had told her that Lord Debling had asked for permission to propose, and she accepted. It was going to happen tonight at the ball.
She could not help being nervous. When she had even mentioned the fact of not having accepted the proposal yet, her mother looked at her like she would be insane not to. Penelope liked Lord Debling. He was a fine choice. He clearly liked her, hence why he asked her mother permission to propose. He would treat her well. But it was not a love match. Penelope knew it was silly to be clinging to the fantasy of marrying for love. She had no other marriage proposals. The only reason she had been able to secure Lord Debling is because of Colin's assistance this season. Realistically, she knew she didn't have many options. She could marry Lord Debling and be comfortable or remain a spinster.
Penelope walked into the ballroom and looked around. She frowned slightly when she didn't see any sight of Colin. You need to forget about him! Penelope knew she had to let go of her childish fantasies. Soon she would be another man's wife. She certainly couldn't be thinking of another man, much less about one who could never want her.
Penelope walked over to the refreshments table to get herself a glass of
"Penelope," Violet greeted. "Good to see you,"
"Hello Mrs. Bridgerton," Penelope smiled genuinely. She was always happy to see her. "I expect my mother told you about Lord Debling," She whispered. Her mother was not one to keep a secret. Especially not from her.
"I imagine she has told half of the ton by now," Violet let a sly smile show. "Are congratulations in order?"
"Not yet," Penelope said. He hasn't proposed yet. But that is only because they have not seen each other yet. "Soon enough I imagine," She looked around the room and didn't see him anywhere. He must not have arrived just yet. "Before he does, I would like to give Colin my thanks for his help," If it hadn't been for Colin, there never would have been a chance of this happening.
"I'm afraid he won't be here tonight,"
"Oh…" Penelope couldn't help but frown. She would have liked to have spoken with him once again before everything changed.
"I'm afraid he's taken ill this evening," Violet added.
Hearing that made Penelope's heart skip a beat. "Is he alright?" She asked, concerned.
Before Violet could answer, she put on a smile as they were both approached by Lord Debling. "Good evening Mrs. Bridgerton," He turned to Penelope with a smile. "Miss Featherington,"
Penelope forced a smile. "Good evening my lord," She curtsied.
"Would you care to join me on the dance floor?" He asked. "I have a question I should like to ask you,"
Penelope was only able to respond with a nod. After a moment, she forced herself to clear her throat and then took his arm.
As Lord Debling led her in a waltz, he started discussing a novel he thought she might like to read, hoping that would spark her interest. However, Penelope did not hear a word he was saying. All she could do as they danced was about how sick Colin could be at that very moment. She imagined him sick in bed and all alone. It felt so wrong for everyone to be here while he had to suffer all alone at home.
"Miss Featherington," It took about three times before Lord Debling finally got Penelope's attention.
"I apologize, my lord," Penelope attempted to push those thoughts away, despite them still being there on the front of her mind.
"Is everything alright?"
Penelope hesitated, looking from Lord Debling's eyes to her mother whom was watching from the lemonade table, and then back to the lord. She took a breath and then answered, "No," She let go of his arms and they stopped dancing. "I'm sorry, but I have to go…"
"Miss Featherington," Lord Debling reached into his pocket. "Wait a moment…"
"I apologize, but I cannot delay," Penelope cut him off. "I am sorry, but I really have to go," She turned her back to him and then ran up the steps of the ballroom and then headed outside. Penelope called for her carriage and then instructed it to take her to Bridgerton house. Once the carriage started moving, she exhaled a shaky breath. She was sure she had just made a big mistake, but somehow it also felt right.
Colin was tossing and turning in bed as he attempted to sleep. He felt uncomfortable, and that made sleep nearly impossible. He managed what felt like two minutes every so often. His entire body felt like it was on fire and each time he moved it felt like someone was stabbing him with a hot needle point. He would have given anything if he could manage to get to sleep. Then he could have a break from the physical torture of his sickly body and think about Penelope accepting a proposal from the wrong man.
Colin had been trying for the last couple of hours with no luck. But he kept trying. He would give anything to be with Penelope tonight, but he would settle if he could just sleep. I wish she could be here with me…
"Colin," He heard a voice but did not move, assuming it was one of the servants. He didn't want to speak to any of them at the moment. But then he heard the same voice mutter his name again.
"Go away…" He mumbled, nearly incoherently.
"Colin,"
This time Colin turned onto his side and opened his eyes a crack. Once the blurriness faded, he saw Penelope's face. He smiled. "Pen…" He said, smiling, but only for a moment. "Must be the fever, you're not really here…"
"I am here," Penelope said, taking a step closer to his bedside.
"No you're not," Colin shook his head. "You're getting a proposal," He groaned as he pictured Lord Debling getting on one knee and offering her a ring. "You're not here, it's the fever…"
"Colin," Penelope placed a hand gently on his shoulder and Colin his eyes tightly for a moment, feeling some tightness in his chest dissipate. "I really am here,"
"Pen," Colin opened his eyes, looking at her with a weak smile. "What are you doing here?"
"Your mother told me you were ill," Penelope answered. "It was hard to imagine you as so, and I wanted to make sure you were doing okay," For as long as she and Colin had been friends, she couldn't remember him ever having taken ill. Aside from an upset stomach once in an occasion.
"I feel awful," Colin admitted before coughing into his arm. "You really shouldn't be here, you might catch this,"
"I'm not worried about it," Penelope had seen much worse from her sisters over the years. "But if you would prefer I go, I can…" Penelope turned to step away from the bed, but before she could even move one of her feet, Colin grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
"No," Colin said quickly. "Don't go," He knew he shouldn't have, but at the same time, he didn't want her to leave. He felt so poorly and didn't want to be alone. She is engaged. You can't keep her here. Imagine what happens when her husband-to-be finds out… "I'm sorry…" He released his grip on her arm. "Does your fiancé know you're here?"
"Fiancé?" Penelope raised an eyebrow.
"The word is that Lord Debling was going to propose to you tonight,"
Penelope sighed. It seemed that her mother had managed to tell half of the ton. "And how did you hear of this?"
"My mother had tea with yours," Colin answered. "So I will ask again, does he know you're here?" He looked down at her hands and didn't notice a ring. "He did propose, didn't he?"
"He did not get the chance," Penelope admitted. "I left before he could,"
"Because of me?"
Penelope nodded. "It was foolish," He probably would find another woman by the end of the night. Cressida had practically been throwing herself at him every time he attempted to speak with her.
"No," Colin shook his head. "You are too good for him,"
Penelope laughed. "Even when you are ill you can make a joke,"
"I'm serious," Colin said, taking her hand. "He wouldn't appreciate you. He wasn't looking for a love match. He was only looking for someone to manage his estates and have his children," Penelope was someone who needed to be cherished. "You deserve better than that,"
Penelope looked at Colin for a moment, touched by his words, but not sure how to respond to them. Don't make me love him more, I can't bare it… Penelope exhaled a shaky breath. "You must be running a high fever," She pulled from Colin's grasp and then placed her hand on his forehead. "You are burning up,"
"Is that why I feel so awful?"
"I'm going to grab you a wet cloth," Penelope left the room briefly and came back a few minutes later and placed the cloth on his head.
Colin shuddered. "It's cold…"
"It will bring down your fever," Penelope said. "I asked them to prepare some tea for you and a tonic,"
"No tonic," Colin shook his head frantically. "They're horrid,"
"Would you rather be ill?"
"I think that might make me more ill, or kill me," Colin shuddered, bringing the blankets closer to him. "I'm so cold…"
"Don't move the cloth," Penelope said as she dabbed it on his forehead a few times before placing it on the center. "I can get you another blanket,"
"Don't leave," Colin grabbed her arm once again. "Please stay,"
"You said you were cold," Penelope couldn't help but chuckle.
"Lay with me,"
"What?" Penelope raised an eyebrow, unable to believe what she just heard him request.
"Come lay next to me," Colin said. "It'll warm me up,"
Penelope laughed nervously. "I think a blanket is a better idea," If she were to lay next to him, she wasn't sure she would ever want to leave his side. And she knew it must be the fever causing him to suggest such ridiculous notions. He would never suggest such a thing if he was well.
Colin frowned. "You don't want to?"
"It's not that…" Penelope wasn't sure what to say. This just felt cruel. She knew Colin didn't have any feelings for her beyond a friend. But sitting in the bed next to him felt intimate in a way. She knew he would not be asking if he wasn't so sick. She felt like it would be something they would both regret afterward. And if anyone caught them, there would be many questions. "I'm just suggesting a blanket might be a better way to warm you up,"
"Alright," Colin nodded. "But after you grab the blanket, will you lay here with me?" He gave her pleading eyes, which made it impossible for Penelope to refuse.
"Okay…" Penelope grabbed an extra blanket and then sat on the bed next to Colin. Then she threw the blanket on top of them both.
"I missed you," Colin moved closer to Penelope to where their skin was touching.
"You missed me?" Penelope felt confused. "I saw you a few days ago…"
"I miss you every time that you aren't here," Colin said. "I love you,"
Penelope snorted. "You must be gravely ill,"
"No," Colin forced himself to sit up in the bed.
"What are you doing?"
"It is not the fever talking," Colin looked into her eyes, so she would understand that everything that he was about to say was genuine. "Pen, I been having these feelings for weeks. Feelings that it took me weeks to be able to comprehend. Perhaps, I was so stupid for not realizing it sooner…" He took breath, suddenly feeling nervous. "You have always been important to me, but I never realized how much until these last few weeks. Tonight, I was going to try and convince you of all the reasons you shouldn't marry Lord Debling, and how wrong he is for you. But the biggest reason is because I love you,"
"You cannot mean that?" Penelope was in shock.
"I do," Colin took her hand. "But I understand if you do not feel the same way. Especially after how I have treated you," It still haunted Colin. How he hurt Penelope with his cruel words when he was trying to impress these other gentlemen in the ton last year. "I hurt you, and that will always be my biggest regret…"
"It hurt me because I love you," Penelope shut her eyes as she spoke these words. "I have loved you since the moment we met,"
"Pen," Colin moved closer to her. "Look at me,"
"Why do you think I came here once I heard you were sick?" Penelope added.
Colin smiled weakly, but then felt his body being overtaken by chills. "I was serious when I said I was cold," He pulled the blanket closer and then looked at Penelope.
"Would you still like me to stay?"
Colin nodded. "Please don't leave,"
Penelope moved closer to Colin, without hesitation, and Colin wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer before throwing the blanket to cover her. He placed his head on top of hers and shut his eyes.
"Colin," Penelope said after a few moments of silence. "They should be bringing the tea soon. But what happens if they see us,"
"They won't say a word," Colin promised. "And it won't matter," He smiled slightly. "Because I am going to marry you once I'm well,"
Penelope smiled, unable to believe it. "Then you better take that tonic,"
Colin grimaced. "Only because I love you,"