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Alex moved around in his sleep, seeking to envelop himself around Henry. Sleepily patting the bed, he came up empty. He blearily opened his eyes, searching for his boyfriend. It was no secret that Henry was a world-class insomniac. Sometimes Henry would read a book under dimmed lights or simply caress Alex, breathing in his scent to calm down and wait for sleep to return. But it wasn’t always enough. That’s when Henry could usually be found eating Cornettos in the kitchen.
Alex quickly confirmed Henry wasn’t in the bathroom and padded quietly down the stairs to find him (Mostly to cuddle up and fall asleep against Henry's chest, with Henry pressing soft kisses to his knuckles and head. Alex was so in love that he could die!).
As Alex reached the bottom of the stairs, the sight made him stop and gasp quietly. There, on the couch, tangled in the throw blanket, was Henry watching Bake Off on the TV. The glow from the screen cast a soft halo around his face. Henry looked so at peace, so comfortable in his home. So soft, so vulnerable in Alex’s sweatshirt. He… he looked ethereal.
Alex was suddenly struck by thoughts of a much younger Henry and the things he had endured. He was consumed by memories of Henry struggling to get out of bed, of Henry trying to hold himself together in the hospital. He thought of Henry coming out to Bea on that cold, frightening night. Of Henry, who had watched his mother wither away. Of Henry, who had to endure the email leak (yes, Alex had suffered too, but at least his family had been supportive). Of Henry searching for Orion. Oh god, damn those onion-cutting ninjas, Alex thought to himself!
His Henry deserved the world, and Alex was going to give it to him! Alex says in his head as he clenches his teeth and curls his fists in determination. Overcome with emotion, he tried to retreat back upstairs as quickly and quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb Henry's peaceful bubble. But his movement caught Henry’s attention. Henry turned to see Alex’s mop of curls disappearing.
“Love? Come here. Did I wake you?” Alex froze for a second at the sound of Henry's voice. Then, in the next moment, he hurried up the stairs, taking them two at a time. A bewildered Henry blinked, trying to make sense of it. Had he spooked Alex? That seemed unlikely. He followed Alex, fear creeping in that something was terribly wrong.
As he stepped into the bedroom, he was met with an empty bed. The next moment, he stood by the bathroom door, straining to hear any sounds. He caught faint gasps and quiet sobs. “Alex, love, are you in there?” Henry asked, his voice calm but laced with concern.
No answer.
“Love, are you okay?”
Alex realised he had to respond to ease Henry’s worry. He managed to croak out, “Yes, I’ll be there in a moment.”
Alex quickly tried to stop his tears. He splashed his face with cold water, took a few deep breaths, and turned the handle to face Henry.
Henry was standing there, his big blue eyes filled with worry, scanning Alex for any sign of harm. His brow had that small crease that Alex had wanted to smooth away ever since their first meeting at the Royal Wedding.
Once Henry was certain there were no visible injuries, he gently took Alex’s hand and led him towards the bed. In unspoken understanding, he climbed in first and pulled Alex into his lap. Henry leaned back against the headboard, one hand resting on the back of Alex’s neck, guiding him to rest in the crook of his shoulder.
“What is it, love? Are you hurt?” Henry asked softly.
Alex shook his head.
“Was it a bad dream?”
Alex shook his head again. Henry placed a tender kiss on Alex’s head before asking once more, “Do you want to talk about it? You know you can tell me anything. We’ll figure it out together.”
At this, Alex broke into sobs once more, burying himself deeper into Henry’s shoulder. Henry held him tighter, murmuring reassurances, “It’s alright. We’re safe.”
After a few moments, Alex mumbled, “It’s nothing. It’s stupid. I’m sorry for dragging you into it. Let’s just try to get some sleep.”
“Love,” Henry said firmly but gently, “nothing you think or feel is stupid. I want to hear everything you have to say.”
“I woke up and didn’t find you in bed, so I came down to look for you. And when I saw you there, calm and peaceful, looking so young, it… it made me think of the younger you and everything you’ve been through. It hit me in the chest like the breath had been knocked out of me. It’s so unfair. No one should have to endure what you did—losing a parent, being forced to hide who you are.” Alex sighed deeply, then added, “Feeling like you don’t deserve love.”
He leaned back to look into Henry’s face. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you going through those dark days. It’s just so unfair, baby. You’re my baby, and nothing should ever hurt you.”
Henry gently cupped Alex’s face in his hands, rubbing his thumbs over Alex’s cheekbones, wiping away his tears. “Oh, love,” Henry whispered, pressing his forehead against Alex’s. His voice cracked as he continued, “It’s true, I was a prince with armour around my heart. I’ve had unimaginable privilege, but there have also been hardships. Did I want the things that happened to me? No. It was hard, and I still have dark days where the light seems impossible to find. But the light is there. The light is you. And everything led me to this—to you, to our home. I couldn’t have imagined this. I also have therapy and a fantastic support system to help me through the hard days.”
Henry smiled softly and added, To quote Coldplay, “Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be so hard.” He let out a breath and said, “But I have you, and that’s enough for every lifetime. I don’t even know what I did to deserve you, Alex Claremont-Diaz, someone who feels so deeply for me. You make my life infinitely better, and I would love to kiss the guilt out of your beautiful brain. Is that alright?”
The next thing Henry knew, Alex was kissing him fervently, hot and sweet like spiced honey, full of unspoken comfort. Eventually, Henry shifted them into a sleeping position, managing to turn off the lamp.
“Let’s sleep, love. We can have chocolate pancakes in the morning.”
Alex grinned through the dark. “I can think of a better use for chocolate, baby.”
“Sleep, you degenerate.’’