Chapter Text
A weight off her head meant a new weight on her shoulders. At least that’s what it felt like as she kept her gaze locked to the floor. Her back ached from how she was slouching, as though she was trying to shrink out of existence.
Her palms smarted from being pressed between the hardwood chair and her thighs she had shoved them under. She could only imagine the small, red welts that’ll crisscross against them from the pressure she was putting on them. Normally, that alone would be enough to make her adjust, but she stubbornly kept them there.
The light above her buzzed annoyingly loud. Though it cast warm light across the cream tiles of the bathroom, it still made her feel sickly green.
Everything about this made her nauseous. She wanted to sprint out of here, phase through the floor, anything to get away. But she kept herself stubbornly there, her ankles wrapped tightly around the legs of the chair to the point of hurting. She had asked for this, after all.
The shadows shifted around her as another body entered the room. The door shut with a quiet clunk. She felt him stop behind her and heard the crinkle of a plastic bag by her ear.
“Kätzchen, look up for me, please?” His voice was gentle, even though it didn’t need to be. Honestly, she was just wasting his time with this. It was a stupid request, anyway. Why did she feel the need to drag him into this like she had done to Logan before—
A small touch on her shoulder. She felt the tension in her back almost immediately released. It felt heavy like a blanket, warm, comforting. But it didn’t stay the nausea that rose up into her throat as she finally ripped her gaze from the floor to look at the vanity mirror.
What greeted her was puffy, red eyes, a suppressed frown, and frizzy, fussy, incredibly short hair. That was growing in all wrong. It was practically a bird’s nest. It wasn’t anything like the long curls she had before. Sure, she had bad hair days before that no amount of taming could fix, but this was an abomination that she’d have to deal with for at least a year. Looking at it made her want to cry all over again.
“This is unsalvageable,” she muttered, keeping her voice purposely husky to hide how much it was cracking.
“Nothing is unsalvageable without small love and tenderly care,” murmured Kurt as he leaned passed her to place the plastic bag in his hands on the vanity counter.
It’s ‘a little tender loving care,’ she wanted to correct him, but it hardly felt worth the effort. She shrank down in her seat as he fished through the bag, her eyes locking to the sink just in front of her. She didn’t want to keep looking at her face.
Kurt stepped back behind her, and she heard him let out a soft sigh. She shrank more at that. Her gut feeling was right. This was a complete waste of time and even he was starting to see that—
“Lift your head, Kätzchen.” Fuzzy fingers brushed her temples as he guided her gaze up. Kitty swallowed as her eyes met the mirror again. Hovering above her, Kurt scanned her reflection with kind eyes and a soft smile.
Tucked between his forearm and chest was a small spritzer bottle and towel. Just behind his ear was a wide-tooth comb. Dropping his hands back down, he leaned against her chair. His chin hovered just above the bird’s nest that was her hair.
“So, what are we thinking, dear Kätzchen?” he asked, the softness of his smile changing to a playful grin. “Feeling fun and flirty? Or is today cute and soft?”
“Just…fix it,” Kitty murmured, slouching again.
“Chef’s choice, then!” Kurt snapped his fingers, eyes lighting up. He frowned slightly, nose scrunching as he squinted briefly. “Or would the phrase be ‘barber’s choice’?”
“We are not cutting my hair!” Kitty practically felt the breath leave her lungs as she screeched. She pulled away from Kurt, her hands that had gone numb from her sitting on them now shooting up to grip the chair’s arms. She caught a glimpse of her reflection and saw how wide her eyes were in panic. Above her, she saw how Kurt had stepped away, palms out as if to show her he meant no harm.
Her cheeks burned as she slunk against the back of the chair. “We’re not cutting my hair,” she repeated, mumbling. She felt her chest swell again as she tried to swallow the lump that was starting to form in her throat.
“There will be no cutting. There are no scissors, see?” Kurt shifted around her, leaning closer to her eye-level to show his hands held no scissors. His tail snagged the tip of the plastic bag, and he dragged it towards him. Carefully, he showed her the remaining contents: a curling iron, hairspray, hair gel, and a variety of combs and brushes.
“No scissors,” he echoed, his gaze flicking over to her.
Kitty gave a curt nod. She feared speaking would finally get the tears she was trying to suppress to spill over.
Kurt gave a small smile at that. He gingerly placed the plastic bag on the counter before taking his place back behind her. As he settled behind her, she instinctively straightened up. A soft chuckle slipped from his lips.
“Thank you, Kätzchen,” he murmured as he draped the towel across her shoulders. Water sloshed in the spritzer as he shifted it from hand to hand.
Kitty watched his face in the mirror as he pressed a finger to his lips, an eyebrow cocking slightly as he mulled over how to tackle her hair. His gaze flicked to her reflection where he met hers. She glanced down immediately. Her fingers tapped the chair’s arms as she fidgeted in her seat.
“You really have no preference?” Kurt asked.
“Just fix it. I don’t care what—” Kitty stopped herself as soon as she felt her voice rise. She screwed her eyes shut as she gripped the armchair. “I just want the…my curls back.”
Kurt hummed, thoughtfully tapping a finger against his chin. “I think we can manage that. Straighten up for me?”
Kitty hadn’t even realized she had been slouching again. She straightened her back, her eyes still shut.
“Let me see what a bit of water and scrunching can do,” muttered Kurt, mostly to himself. She heard the pump of the spritzer and felt its mist tickle her ear. She cracked one eye open and saw Kurt flicking some water off his palm, as though he was testing the temperature.
“Tell me if it becomes uncomfortable,” he quietly murmured to her. Kitty nodded in response.
Kurt pumped the spritzer, and Kitty felt the misty droplets dampen her hair. The imagery of a rainstorm rolling through a dry, cracked desert briefly crossed her mind.
Next, the rounded edges of a wide tooth comb grazed her scalp as Kurt carefully parted her hair. He flicked excess water away as he reached the ends and returned to the top of the scalp to repeat on a new section. He worked slowly but diligently, gently undoing the kinks and knots that ravaged her hair.
Kitty’s tense muscles seemed to ease more and more with his repetitive movement. The sensation of the comb against her scalp was enough to send goosebumps along her arms. Sleep lapped at the edges of her mind, enticing her under.
A tug on her roots—no, they were ripped upwards to the point of pain. Cold metal grazed her neck. A sharp snip as weight fell from her head. As her memories, her life was snatched away from her, discarded on the floor.
“—hen—”
Her lungs screamed for air, but she dared not breathe, dared not move. Her nails dug into wood.
“Kät—"
She couldn’t see anything. She could barely hear anything. Her heart pounded in her ears, pleading for reprieve. But he was watching. Perfect form. Perfect daughter. Perfect killer. That was what she—
“Kätzchen!”
Air rushed into Kitty’s lungs as she gasped for breath. Her chest to her knees, her upper body had flung forward as she curled in on herself. A white-knuckled grip on the chair. A spinning headache. In the mirror, a concerned Kurt reflected back at her.
He reached towards her, his hand hovering just above her shoulder. “Kätzchen, what’s wrong?”
“I-I’m fine.” Her voice came out hoarse. She straightened up, keeping her gaze locked on the floor. “Sorry. I…”
“We can stop, if you’d like,” Kurt offered.
Kitty shook her head. “No, no. I—”
“If it is too much, you should not force yourself—” Kurt began.
“Kurt, please.” Kitty’s voice broke as she forced herself to meet his gaze through the mirror. She briefly caught her reflection. Her stomach churned at how disgusting it looked. Even so, she forced herself to keep her eyes steady on Kurt.
Kurt rubbed the back of his neck, eyebrows knitting together. He could not hide his frown, so he turned his head briefly from her gaze. He muttered something in German. For a moment, Kitty desperately wished she could understand.
Another moment, and he turned back, straightening slightly. “Alright, but know we can stop at any point, ja?”
Kitty nodded as she leaned back against the chair. Kurt moved his hands towards her hair once more but hesitated. He chewed his lower lip briefly.
“I will describe what I am doing, ja?” His gaze flicked from her hair to her reflection. “So it will not be a surprise?”
Kitty nodded.
Kurt’s shoulders seemed to relax at that. He gave a small smile. “Then, let us try this again.”
Diligently, Kurt walked her through every movement and every sensation. He slowly made his way around her head, scrunching locks of her hair. He was careful not to tug as he had done before, keeping one hand on her shoulder to help ground her as he worked.
Kitty kept her eyes on her lap, fidgeting with some loose thread on her pants. She focused on the weight on her shoulder and the low rumble of his voice. She hardly registered what he was saying. The crinkle of the plastic bag pulled her out of her trance.
She glanced over to see him fishing through it again. Even though she already knew what was in it, she couldn’t help but instinctively tense.
Kurt plucked out the jar of hair gel and unscrewed the cap. As he moved back, he caught her looking at him, even as she averted her gaze.
He held the small jar down to her eye-level. “Styling gel,” he explained. “It helps manage unrulier bits and gives your curls shape.”
The creamy gel had a pungent mossy scent to it, like a forest after rain. She scrunched her nose slightly.
“We can find one more suited to your tastes later,” chuckled Kurt as he pulled it back.
Kurt’s fingers were in her hair again, this time slathered up with the gel. He gently massaged her scalp as he returned to scrunching her locks. All the while, giving careful description in a low voice.
Kitty’s eyes drifted closed at the sensation. It reminded her of the way ocean water lapped at her toes buried in warm sand. Or napping on clean sheets warmed by slight sunburnt skin while her parents chatted in the other room, quietly preparing supper. Or falling asleep at the kitchen table while studying only to wake up tucked in bed; her father carrying her even though she had grown too big.
She hadn’t realized she had even fallen asleep until she was nudged awake by the back of Kurt’s hand.
“Sleep well, Kätzchen?” His voice was warm with humor. He stepped away, flicking the sink on with the spade of his tail as he rinsed excess gel from his hands.
Kitty gave an affirmative grunt, slowly blinking the sleep from her eyes. Kurt dried his hands with a towel before he leaned against the vanity, folding his arms against his chest. His eyes were bright with pride and a slight smirk crossed his lips. In slight dramatic fashion, he gestured to the mirror with a small bow.
“And what is the consensus, little one?” he asked, though by his tone he seemed confident he knew her answer.
Perhaps his confidence was the only reason she was able to look at her reflection. Really look at her reflection this time, not simply graze it as she had been all morning. And when she finally did, her breath caught in her throat.
The steel wool mess that had taken over her head for the last few weeks was gone. It was replaced by voluminous, bouncy curls. The overall shape was too boyish, too angular for her liking, but given how short her hair was, she imagined Kurt didn’t have much room to work with. The length barely went past her ears after all. But the definition, the life and shine of it, was miles better compared to the bird’s nest it had been before. She finally felt like she was looking at herself again.
Her chest swelled as a lump in her throat formed. She felt a small pressure build up behind her eyes and she sucked in a breath to keep tears from spilling.
“Kurt, I—" She stopped herself as soon as she felt her voice crack. Speaking would lead to crying, and no matter what she didn’t want to cry. She shrunk slightly, her grip tightening on the chair.
Kurt’s gaze softened. He stepped behind her again. He gently took the towel on her shoulders and used it to scrunch some of the dampness away from her ends. “I take it you like it?”
Kitty gave a small nod. “They…they’re back,” she managed to say before needing to suppress a sob.
“They’ve always been there,” Kurt reminded her gently. “All it took was small love and tenderly care.”
Kitty half-laughed, half-sniffled as she felt tears fill her eyes. “Kurt, the phrase is ‘a little tender loving care.’”
“That is what I said.” The bewildered look on Kurt’s face reflected the mirror finally got a full laugh out of Kitty. One that had her bent over in the chair, on the brink of tears.
Kurt couldn’t help but join her laughter. “Come now, Kätzchen, it is not that funny.”
“Did you see the look on your face?” Kitty gasped as she straightened up, wiping tears away from her eyes.
“As impossible as it may be to believe, I was too busy appreciating my handiwork to be admiring my own features,” Kurt puffed out his chest slightly as he gestured dramatically to her hair. The hint of a smile on his lips gave away his playful intentions as he winked at her in the reflection. “Though I do appreciate you noticing!”
“Oh, please,” Kitty snorted as she rolled her eyes. But even she couldn’t hide her smile now. “Would you call gawking at a penguin in a bar ‘noticing’?”
“Hey!” Kurt gave a dramatic pout, that made Kitty squeal with laughter.
“Oi!” a snarl came from the hall, just outside the closed bathroom door. A snarl that could only belong to the one and only, Logan. “Keep it down. Some of us are tryin’ to sleep!”
“Sorry!” Both Kitty and Kurt called. They exchanged glances, trying to stifle their laughter.
Another snarl. Heavy thumps retreating indicated Logan lumbered back to his cave to hibernate. Kurt let out a soft sigh as he plucked the towel off her shoulders and neatly folded it in his arms. He glanced up at their reflections, his eyes soft.
“You really like it?” he asked.
Kitty nodded as she leaned back. She twirled a curl between her fingers, gently tugging it down to watch it bounce back into place. Just how it used to.
“I do,” she replied. “Thank you, Kurt. Really.”
Kurt smiled as he dipped his head down briefly to plant a small kiss at the top of her head. “Anytime, Kätzchen.”