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To all the remaining decent people/$$@%#@&! on the plane,
If you’re reading this, then that means I’ve already left. It also means starting today, I quit Total Drama, I quit this stupid team, and I’m not coming back. Why? Because after hearing a certain confessional in Paris, and an enlightening phone call with my uncle Jerrard, who was kind enough to talk to me and actually be there for me when I needed someone the most, I decided that I just can’t take it anymore; I’m tired of being casted aside, I’m sick of being treated like crap just because I’m a geek, and even being manipulated for my troubles on live TV has worked my last nerve. Granted, I can’t say that I was ever perfect looking back.
Gwen, if you’re reading this: The only thing I can say is that I’m sorry for what I did back at Amazon. I can’t really say that was even cool of me back then, and if you don’t want to be friends, then I’m fine with that. I don’t even care anymore.
But that’s not the reason why I bailed. Or, I guess, the main reason: remember what I said about what actually happened back in Paris? Go ahead and ask “she who shall not be named” as to if she was really sad this whole time, or go watch the confessional tape that was recorded after the challenge. Because the only thing I have to say about her is that after being played like a @%#&$*! fiddle, I used to have actually regretted voting her off, but now I don’t anymore. And I’d do it again if given the chance, especially since all season “she who shall not be named” has done nothing except harass me, steal my stuff, treat me like some owned property, and even went as far as to shed a few crocodile tears just because I didn’t give her enough goddamn attention!
I may seem a little heated, but the point is that I don’t feel like ever talking to her, I don’t wanna be around her, I never want to see her again, and even writing about her makes me sick!
Oh, fun fact: the reason why Bridgette and Leshawna got booted was because they fell for Alejandro’s charms, and his manipulation is the reason why Harold got himself booted. ‘Why did I do this,’ you might’ve asked: well, why not? It’s his fault for being a slimeball and for being as equally manipulative. How’d I know this is because of the videos my uncle sent me.
Chris, if you’re also reading this: you may as well shut the *=!@ up about the contract bullcrap. Because my parents and my uncle have lawyers that can sue your overrated $#% lickety-split!
And before any one of you whose name isn’t Noah, Tyler, Owen, DJ, Lindsay, Chef (he pretty much wasn’t a jerk to me up to this point), Izzy (she's in her own world), or Gwen (I guess because honestly my feelings are mixed right now) that says anything about me being “selfish”, “petty”, or any of that load of horse$%+>, here’s a photo of my hand that I’ve attached to shut those comments up. That is all.
What happened after was a shock to all remaining contestants, tv host and assistant alike as they stared at the photo. One particular contestant couldn’t hold the sadness any longer and ran off to the cargo hold in tears. Everyone else either didn’t care now that they’ve realized what happened, or were still in shock from staring at the photo.
Because there is actually a photo of Cody’s hand…
…sticking up the middle finger.
[Confessional On]
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Heather: *is stunned with eyes wide open*
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Gwen: *tries to speak but no words are able to be said*
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Courtney: Well, damn! Where’d that come from?
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Alejandro: *miffed* You little sonova-
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Noah: *holds his default expression*........kkhh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! *holds his sides in laughter*
[Confessional Off]
And to the names I did mention, all I can say is that I wish you the best of luck on the game and, well, moving forward. Could you tell the others in the Aftermath that I said hi? Thanks!
Signed,
Cody Anderson
P.S. Could you also pass that photo of my hand to Chris and tell him that I said…
“ ‘You’re a sellout piece of [bleep] who ain’t [bleep] without this figurative and literal [bleep]show,’ ” Noah read aloud the quoted message while having a crap-eating grin on his face.
As for the rest of the assembled cast, their reactions differ from Gwen, Courtney, and Heather’s eyes widened even more in shock, along with DJ, Izzy, Tyler, Owen, and even Chef visibly trying hard to hold their laughter in.
Chris, however, just stood where he is as a statue, taking this all in along with his left eye twitching. Because Cody quitting obviously wasn’t part of the plan, and now he has two contestants who’ve quit, and that’ll lower the ratings even more than it should. And the worst part is that he can’t bring one of them back at the risk of the show getting sued to court. But it’s okay, though, he still has Owen in the game. So things should be-
“ ‘So up yours, [bleep]ch!’ ” Noah finished, interrupting Chris’ thoughts.
[Confessional On]
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Tyler: Pfft-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! Oh my God!
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Owen: Hohohoho!! Hahahahaha!!
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DJ: *wheeze* Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
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Izzy: *thumps on the bathroom door and talks in a convincing Asian accent* Emotional damage!
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Chef Hatchet: Ahahahahahaha!!!
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Alejandro: Okay, aunque todavía estoy cabreado, that is some funny [bleep]!
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Chris: *face red and steaming in anger* MY [BLEEP] RATINGS!!! YOU LITTLE SH-
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[Confessional Off]