Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Will had never been to a party before. At first, his excuses were that he was too tired, not cool enough to be invited, too young. When he wasn’t too young his excuse was that the world had been flung into a limbo-space between life and death and the ground was waiting to swallow you up. But if he was being honest, he would prefer to fall into the ground right now and just disappear.

Mike had persuaded him to come, told him it was just a little get together, but as soon as they rocked up to Lucas’s house in Mike’s cheap rusty machine he called a car, Will knew from the blasting music and the people strewn across the front lawn that he had been sugar-coating. 

Mike had instantly promised that they would stick together, but Will knew what that meant: standing together in the corner, maybe laughing at all the idiots, and that would be it except for maybe a slight nudge of their fingers together. He didn’t blame Mike for that, of course. It’s just the way things had to be.

Now, Will stared off into the distance, leaning against the wall and letting the shitty music he didn’t like fade into the background as Mike chatted to Dustin at his side, wildly gesturing about something. He could’ve tugged on Mike’s sleeve and asked him to go, but that wasn't fair. That’s selfish, selfish . Bitterly, he imagined Mike telling him it would be suspicious if they left together. 

He would never say that, come on, Will thought to himself, looking down. He could hear Mike’s laughter, and usually that was enough to ground him, but strangely it only made his heart race faster.

Barely able to hear his thoughts over the noise, his eyes pulled away from his hands and found themselves straying to where El and Max were standing with Lucas in the other room. Through the crack in the door, Max threw her head back with laughter as El almost spat the shot she was attempting to drink out of her mouth. Will exhaled a small laugh and glanced to his left. 

It was weird, he had to admit, pretending everything was okay in the world. Not pretending, Will, everything is okay, he reminded himself constantly, used to feeling like something, anything was going to go wrong. At least Mike was getting back to his usual self. For a few days after everything had ended, Will wasn’t sure if he was going to get Mike back, his Mike, the one who took charge, the one who stood up for what he believed in. He wasn’t sure if he would ever crack another joke. If they were ever going to talk about what they were, about their kiss and what Mike had said to him about always loving him. 

He still remembered though, being in the hospital, with Mike staring at the ceiling in the dark, moonlight shining on one half of his face when Will heard him suddenly whisper: “Thank god you’re here. I don’t know what I would have done if…” 

That was when Mike had finally cried for the first time after they had almost lost each other. Their first kiss was something that Will would never forget of course, but so was their second kiss in that quiet hospital room, holding hands to let each other know they were there . There and alive, wiping each other’s tears.

Of course, there was no chance then to talk about when they were going to tell their friends what had happened in the Upside Down, that they were together now. Well, at least they didn’t have to tell El or Jonathan again, but Will hoped there was a mutual understanding between them, that it would take time. 

Or maybe they were just too afraid of what it would do, talking about it. Would it spoil them? Would they have to break up? It was too much. Too much to think about and… and what if–

Screw it. Glancing between the drinks in his friends’ hands and his boyfriend’s back, Will pushed away from the wall and walked over to the others. Is he even my boyfriend? The thought jolted him and he walked faster. 

“Byers!” Lucas practically yelled, holding his arms out wide. “There you are!”

“There he is!” El parroted with a giggle in her voice. 

“Here I am,” he mumbled. Will smiled a little but ignored the two of them asking him a question, reaching for a left-over shot on the table without thinking. For a second he faltered, staring down. 

“Oh shit ,” Max laughed, tapping El on the shoulder at the spectacle. Will heard them giggling to each other and saying other things, but he didn’t care. Bringing the glass to his lips, he knocked his head back and let the alcohol flow in. 

It was as if he had been awoken suddenly from a dream. It burned the back of his throat for sure, and he coughed a couple times, but the encouraging cheers from Max and Lucas and the laughing from El made him reach for the other shot glasses. 

And another. And another. A dull ache began in his skull.

“Woah there,” he heard Max say.

El grabbed him, laughing still, but her voice was more concerned than it was before. “We will go outside.”

➳

Mike had watched Will walk away, through the door to the kitchen and out of view, debating whether to call out to him or not. Ever since arriving together, Mike had regretted ever coming. What was the point to these anyways? He was happy to talk to Dustin and argue with him about whether Back To The Future II was shit or not, but he just ended up coping with the noise by imagining he was back in his basement, watching Star Wars with Will for the millionth time.

Will. God, he was being such an idiot with Will recently. Every time they had to drop each other’s hands or step away from each other, Mike felt himself wilt, and he could see it on Will’s face as well. And now he had disappeared even though they agreed to stick together.

“Mike! Miiike,” Dustin yelled, waving a hand in front of Mike’s face. “Jesus christ, I’m trying to have an intellectual argument here.”

Mike shook himself, but the thought, Is Will mad at me? still echoed in his mind. “Uh– what? No, no I know. I know.” 

They carried on from where they had left off before Will had disappeared, but Mike didn’t stop internally kicking himself. He could hardly focus on what Dustin was saying without imagining that Will had walked home without him, running through all the things that he could have done wrong. Ever since they had no-so-officially gotten together, Mike had sworn to himself: Don’t screw this up. Had he already failed?

Only twenty minutes later, though it felt like hours, Mike was restless. The noise berated him almost, cutting into his head like the cheap beer in his hand, the beat to every song sounding the same. This wasn’t just about Will anymore, he could feel the same panic rising that had appeared in his chest for a few weeks after everything happened. Now it was back. His skin was hot, something crawling over it. 

Will. He needed Will, like all the other times. 

Dustin was still speaking to him, but the room had gotten more crowded now, and everything was touching him, at least that was what it felt like. 

“-- that was just utter–”

“Y– yeah, um, sorry I gotta…” Mike looked around, peering over a few heads. He had seen Will going into the kitchen earlier so he made a beeline for it, nudging his way through to the door. Dustin called behind him, something about winning the ‘argument’, but he could barely hear it. He didn’t want to hear anything except Will’s voice right now.

“Will?” Mike called as he entered the kitchen. It was completely empty, bottles and crumbs littered on the counter. God, Lucas is going to have a shitshow to clean up later . That didn’t matter right now, Will wasn’t here. Was it Mike’s fault? Did he pull his hand away too harshly earlier?

At least it was quiet here, music muffled. Steadying himself on the counter, Mike put his cup down and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Then he heard it, the sound he could recognise anywhere. Will’s laughter rang sweet in the air; Mike whipped round towards the window where it came from. 

Along with El, Max and Lucas, Will sat in the busy garden, smiling and laughing, the low glow of the outdoor lights casting shadows on his face, but lighting up his eyes all the same. Mike shared his smile for a second before wondering whether himself and Will’s smile were mutually exclusive. 

Maybe he should leave them to it. Will didn’t need him, Will didn’t– 

Will swayed a little and suddenly caught Mike’s eye through the window. A rush of desire to be near him shot through his chest and it seemed that Will felt it too, exclaiming loud enough that it could be heard from inside: “It’s Mike!” 

He couldn’t help but frown at Will’s change in demeanor from only half an hour ago, but he also couldn’t help the grin splitting his face before he opened the back door and walked towards the group. Will had been waving at him ever since he caught his eye in the window, and when Mike reached them he shot up and said, “Mike come he–” before stumbling over to him and tripping a little. 

“Woah–” Mike steadied him, feeling a blush creep up his face when he heard the others laughing. The look in Will’s eyes was different to how it usually looked when they were around their friends, but similar to when they were alone. Regretfully, Mike panicked when it felt as though for a second, Will was just going to grab him and kiss him in front of all these people, all his friends. 

“Oh thank god ,” Max moaned, and Will jerkily turned away to glare at her. “Mike, you need to drive him home or something. He’s outta hand.”

“Oh– oh, really?” He looked at Will again, who was still sort-of leaning against him. Mike had to admit, he could smell his breath from where he was standing. “Is he…” Max nodded with her eyebrows raised. 

Huh. He had never seen Will drunk before. No one had. 

“C’mon it’s funny!” Lucas chimed in, slurring his speech too, but Mike could sense that Will was still more intoxicated than any of them. “I wish we had a camera, there’s no way he’ll believe us in the morning.”

El was the only one not holding a bottle. “It is funny. But…” She knowingly caught Mike’s eye. Being one of the only people who knew about their relationship, he listened carefully. “He needs to go. We should not have encouraged it.”

“ You need to go,” Will replied stupidly, not directed at anyone, probably unable to even hear who it was that spoke. 

It was still loud and Mike couldn’t wait for it to be just them again, so he wrapped a begrudging arm around Will and said. “Okay, okay I got him. I’ll just get him some water, too.” The arm around Will seemed to suddenly spring him from the whiny attitude to an elated one, and Mike swore he heard a little chuckle. “Let’s go, c’mon.”

A slurry of goodbye’s rang out behind them as they walked down the path to the kitchen again and Mike called behind them, “Bye, you guys!” Will whined, wincing at the loudness next to him. “Sorry, sorry.”

Entering the empty kitchen, Will hung off Mike like a rag doll, his steps uneasy. Tapping Mike’s chest he said, slurring, “Mike. Mike. I missed you.” 

Mike felt himself smile at Will’s drunken voice, but he was too focused on getting him some water before he fell over or worse, so he quickly steadied Will against the counter. Before he could get away to grab a glass, Will wrapped his arms clumsily around Mike’s waist and tried pulling him in. 

Fighting a smile, he said carefully, “Will, hold on, okay?” He managed to escape the grip and searched for a glass before going to the sink and pouring water in. 

“No, come here, ” Mike heard Will shamelessly whine, reaching over to his shirt and tugging it. Mike held back a smile, not wanting to encourage it.

“Jesus, you can wait for one second, can’t you?” Mike said with a laugh. Will had somehow gotten himself up onto the counter, leaning back on his hands. Mike tried to force Will’s hand to hold the glass with much effort. “Just drink it, alright?”

He looked as though he was living in a daze, his eyes fogged over, eyelids drooping and body swaying left and right. Mike would have been more concerned if he wasn’t grinning so hard as well. “Fine, mom .” 

Will must’ve been thirsty, because he gulped the glass down in one go, some of it spilling out onto his shirt. “Done!” he exclaimed when he placed the glass back down. 

At first, Mike automatically tried to suppress the voice in his head that said he’s adorable , but quickly realized he was finally allowed to think it, and a great relief washed over him. “Awesome, okay, you feel better?”

“Sit with me,” Will whispered, letting his eyes close as his head lolled back and forth slowly. Mike rolled his eyes and walked towards him, but he was suddenly grabbed by the shirt at his sides. “Or– or… ” Will mused, a wry grin on his face as his head tilted to the side. 

Mike felt his own drunken laugh bubbling up from his chest, though he’d barely had anything to drink. Drunk on something else. “Mhm– wha– what?” Oh, now he was being dragged towards Will, in between his legs. 

Looking over Will’s shoulder at the party behind the crack in the door, Mike took an unsteady breath, still smiling of course. He couldn’t help it. 

“Do you wanna know something?” Will mumbled. Mike nodded suspiciously while Will took a shaky breath as if being drunk made breathing harder. “Pretty– mm, you’re pretty.”

Now he was the one dishing out compliments? Okay, he could barely handle this anymore, especially when Will wrapped his legs around Mike’s waist, pulling him further in. In response, he leaned his head back and laughed quietly, rolling his eyes before staring back into Will’s heavy-lidded ones. 

“Thankyou,” he whispered and at that, Will smiled harder than he’d seen him smile all week. God, he was so endearing, it was driving Mike crazy. 

Mindlessly, he rubbed soothing hands up Will’s thighs, grinning back at him, “I can’t believe how drunk you are. How low is your tolerance?” 

“Shut up,” Will mumbled, smushing his face on Mike’s shoulder. “Not that drunk.”

“Okay, if you say so, I mean…you’re a very clingy drunk aren’t you?” Mike said, the muffled sounds of music drowned out by Will’s soft breathing next to his ear. It was soon taken away though, as Will leaned back, staring at him straight on with the most gorgeous brown eyes he had ever–

Oh no, he was whipped . Mike’s voice came out on a sigh, “God, you’re cute.”

Will smiled triumphantly. “Kiss me, Michael,” he whispered.

“Full-naming me are you–”

“I wanna kiss you,” Will whispered again, and Mike stopped talking, biting on the inside of his cheek. Of course he wanted to, god, did he need to, but his instincts brought him to look behind Will’s shoulder at the door again. 

Pulled out of the moment, loud blasting music carried in through the slightly open door, voices pouring in from the outside. They were alone in the room, sure, but they weren’t alone alone. Mike sighed, he knew it wasn’t fair on Will, and he might not even understand that it wasn’t his fault in this state. 

Despite it all, Mike wiped some water that had been dribbled onto Will’s chin and whispered, “Later, okay?” 

Later.  

We can hold hands later.

We can hug later.

It was always later, and it had become a routine, promising to do things later in private that they couldn’t do in public, it almost felt like the real thing somehow. But Mike watched Will’s drunken face fall this time. 

“Will, I–” Mike started, but was quickly cut off by the voices from outside the door getting louder. It was like he had an intuition for this kind of thing now, he had gotten so used to listening out in case someone barged in on them. 

His intuition was correct, the door pushing open. Mike swiftly extracted himself from the legs wrapped around him and Will let him. A group of people passed the threshold and entered the kitchen, Mike recognised them from school, but he wasn’t sure how to act, looking at Will who was staring at his hands. 

Mike nodded his head towards the door and gestured for Will to get off the counter, signaling to go home.

Outside in the gloom of the foggy evening, Mike dragged Will to his car which had been parked in a side street, stumbling as they went. Mike could tell Will’s demeanor had changed from when he had been in the garden, though whether that was from the water or the rejected kiss, he wasn’t sure. Either way, he was still swaying, his voice higher than usual.

“Do you want me to drive?” Will asked, holding his hand out for the keys.

Mike leant Will against the car, and as soon as he did, Will slid down a bit. “Are you kidding? First of all, you’re hammered , and two, you can’t drive even when you’re sober.”

“But–” Will looked up at him with those innocent, praying eyes again, the small light of the streetlamp reflecting in them. “But you drank? Didn’t you?”

“I mean, a little–”

“And you’re going to get yourself like… like hurt or something? If you’re drunk…” Will’s voice was small. Mike stopped walking around to the other side of the car and sighed, smiling down at him. He knew what this was really about.

“I’ll be fine, I drank like half a cup of beer. You just… you chill. Chill out next to me yeah? Then you can sleep as soon as I get you home,” he replied softly, taking his hand and rubbing his thumb over it slightly. 

Will scrunched his mouth to the side and nodded. “‘Kay.”

“Cool.” Mike grinned one last time and got into the driver’s seat. 

The car started with a sputter, as usual, and Mike reversed away. Will was sprawled out on the seat next to him, his hand going to Mike’s on the gear stick, before taking it away when it went back to the steering wheel. 

Will hummed. Some silence ensued before he hummed again and Mike clicked his tongue, “What?” he whined.

“Nothing…” Will drawed out the last syllable, staring at Mike’s hands on the steering wheel. “You’re a good driver, hm.” He giggled; still a little tipsy then. 

“Right… thanks?”

Shifting in his seat, Will whispered out, “You look good when you’re driving.” It was almost like he was aware of how it made Mike feel, laughing at him gleefully when his jaw went a little slack. 

“H– hey, you’re gonna distract me,” Mike replied, but he was smiling wasn’t he? Of course he was. Will made a noise and shrugged. 

Mike heard Will’s breathing even out slowly as the bustling party atmosphere slipped away from them, the only sounds being the engine, their breathing and the crickets. Streetlamps passed them, lighting Will’s slight smile up with a yellow glow for a second each time. These silences were usually comfortable, but he suddenly felt a shift when Will looked out the window and sighed quietly, but not quiet enough that Mike couldn’t hear. 

“Will?” Mike carefully said. “You okay?”

He startled, shaking his head as if he had woken up from sleeping all of a sudden. His eyes were still heavy and his words were still slurred when he said, “Mm, I’m… I’m okay.” 

Another beat of silence. Then,

“Are you ashamed to be with me?” 

Will’s candor almost made Mike brake out of shock, but all he did was look over at the boy sitting next to him who now had a look on his face that could have wrenched his heart right out. Staring back out the windshield, Mike opened and closed his mouth. “Will…”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, that was so stupi–”

“No, no, I… I just…” Mike swallowed. Was this what Will had been feeling like the whole time? Guilt pooled in his stomach. He couldn’t screw this up, not again, not now. “No. I’m not ashamed. Okay? I’m not– I just…” He sighed. 

Will gave a sympathetic smile. “I should’ve said that uh… that better.” He chuckled sadly. “‘S not your fault, Mike. It’s not your fault.” Mike nodded, feeling the pool in his stomach fade away from Will’s words. But it wasn’t enough.

“Listen, about what happened in the— the  kitchen,” Mike said, sitting himself properly upright. “You deserve… you deserve so much , alright? You deserve to be kissed, whenever you want, yeah?”

Will giggled at that, shifting in his seat and smiling. “You too,” he said, blinking at Mike. “You too.”

Mike stopped in the middle of the road, after all, it was completely silent this time of night and no cars were hardly on the road in this part of town anyways, even in the daytime. Then all there was to hear was the chirping of the crickets. The breeze. Will’s small laugh again, confused. 

“Mike, what are you–” 

His hand reached up to Will’s cheek, and he drunkenly leant into it, a shaky smile sprawled across his face in seconds. His eyes looked down a bit, landing on Will’s lips. They should have been doing this back at the party, he wished he could do it anywhere, everywhere. Will’s face went serious and he nodded a little, letting Mike do whatever he wanted, fluttering his eyes shut.

Mike could taste spirits on Will’s mouth, but it didn’t matter. He let the kiss be gentle, appreciating the way that Will sighed and relaxed on his lips as they moved in tandem. Will’s trembling hand came up to Mike’s face and he made a mental note that Will was shaky when he was drunk. When they disconnected, Will made the effort to lean back in and press one more kiss to the side of Mike’s mouth. 

Now all there was left to do was–

“Mm, love you,” Will mumbled, breath ghosting over Mike’s lips. Dammit, he beat him to it, making Mike let out a chuckle. 

“Love you too, okay?” he replied, leaning back so he could cast one glimpse at Will’s face. His blush was redder when he was intoxicated. “And– and I’m not ashamed of you . At all. Or us. It’s just– it’s just hard…” Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

“Mike,” Will said, interrupting him. “Let’s just not… right now. Yeah?”

Mike, relieved, breathed a happy sigh. “Yeah?”

“I’m way too drunk for it anyways,” Will laughed out as Mike started the car again, beginning to drive away. 

“Alright. So you admit it.”

Will groaned. “Finee.” They shared a laugh and they were on the road again, and the guilt pooling in Mike’s stomach was gone, at least for now. 

They pulled up in the driveway of the new Byers’ residence that Joyce and Hopper had bought quickly after everything went down. It was bigger than their old house in Hawkins but not as big as the one they had in Lenora. Will had said it was weird, living in Hawkins but not truly at home. But Mike thought Will’s room was cozy when he had helped unpack his boxes. 

The lights were all off. As the car slowed down, Will, out of the blue, swore: “Shit. Shit, I think– I think I forgot my keys.” He patted himself down and scrunched his eyes shut, groaning. Mike also made a mental note that he was more whiny when he was drunk, before he decided it was endearing. 

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Mike said, softening his voice. “Your window is open, right?”

“Yeah…” 

“Come on, let’s get you to bed sleepy-head,” Mike said as he switched off the engine and got out. 

“You’re such an idiot, ‘sleepy-head’?” Will giggled as Mike helped him from his seat. Jesus, he could still barely walk up the driveway. “I’m not that bad now!”

“Says you as you’re literally yelling and falling onto me,” Mike said, voice strained as he struggled to keep Will upright, walking to the other side of the house. He heard some more laughter at his side and smiled. 

“Time for lift-off,” Will sleepily said as they approached the window, which was slightly higher off the ground than Mike had thought, given that Will slept on the ground floor. 

Mike sighed, beckoning Will towards him. “Come on, I’ll give you a boost.” 

It was a tough challenge, getting a very drunk Will Byers into his bedroom window who constantly flinched at every touch that Mike made to his hips or waist as he pushed him through. Once Will had reached the other side, there were some light crashing sounds, making Mike wince and hope he hadn’t hurt himself.

But then a grinning face appeared at the window again. “Your turn!” Will reached his arms out and Mike hated to disappoint him. 

“Will, Will, you know that I can’t–” Mike started, whispering as he was suddenly conscious of Joyce or Hopper waking up and finding this spectacle in the middle of the night in their yard. 

“ C’mon ,” Will said a little too loudly. “Your mom won’t care–”

‘She will.”

“I want you here, please.”

“ Will– ”

“Please.” Will brought his voice to a whisper, finally. “You can help me to sleep.” Was that a wink? Surely not, not from Will.

Mike chewed on his lip, letting himself hold Will’s hand that was hanging out from the windowsill. “I’m sorry, I broke curfew like– twice last week and this is going to be strike three. Then we can’t see each other at all .” 

Will seemed to understand but still there was a drunken pout on his face. Rolling his eyes, though the action was dripping with affection, Mike reached out his other hand to stroke Will’s cheek again, like in the car. 

And just like in the car again, Will seemed to weaken at the action. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. We can… we can…” He thought about what he had imagined at the party, a lightbulb going off in his brain. He exclaimed excitedly, “You can come over tomorrow, we’ll have a movie night.”

Will’s eyes lit up at that, standing upright with excitement. If he was a dog, his tail would be wagging. “A movie night?” he asked hopefully, and Mike didn’t even need to wonder if he treasured them just as much as he did. 

“Yeah,” Mike whispered. “Just you and me. We can have snacks, watch Star Wars or um, The Goonies, I don’t know, but whatever it is, we can just chill.” He dropped his voice lower. “Privacy of my basement, yeah?”

Will grinned and it lit up Mike’s world. “Sounds so good,” he said, voice filled with intoxicated glee. 

“It does?”

“Mhm, amazing. I love you so much,” Will said rapidly; it was like he barely knew he was saying it. 

Mike was getting cold despite the warmth in his chest, fog twisting in the trees behind him. “Love you so much too, yeah?” His other hand went to Will’s face as well, holding it in them, before leaning up to the window to capture Will in a kiss that warmed his chilly face. 

“See you tomorrow,” Will whispered almost in awe, staring into Mike’s eyes as he pulled away. 

“See you.” Mike felt that giddy flash running down his veins again. “Now– now you go to sleep. You need it.”

Nodding, Will grabbed the top of the window frame and gave Mike one last smile before he said, “Okay, bye Mike,” and pulled the window down. He waved rapidly, like he had done in the garden, and Mike, while feeling a little goofy, waved back before walking to the car. 

Not ashamed at all. He could never be. He needed everyone to know he was in love with that boy and that he was lucky enough to have him love him back.

Chapter Text

Legs pedaling fast down the forest path, Will struggled to keep his eyes open. The remnants of his awful morning headache lingered a little, and he could hardly imagine how he was going to stay awake tonight. For Mike, he would try, but he wouldn’t be surprised if only ten minutes into the movie his head would be on Mike’s shoulder and he would be snoring away.

The thought still excited him, though, and it always excited him, going to see Mike. He treasured these moments with him, however rare or common, the moments of privacy where they could just do whatever they wanted. 

As per usual when he was biking over to Mike’s, he imagined it all. Things they could do. Things they couldn’t do in front of their friends. Last night was a blur, but Will remembered how Mike had looked when he asked that question in the car, his face scrunched up with worry. Are you ashamed to be with me? He didn’t like that topic, and he didn’t intend on bringing it up today. 

As soon as Mike’s house came into view, Will’s heart picked up and he grinned. The light in the basement was on, the only one that was on in fact, and he let his bike glide down to meet the door. 

After climbing off, albeit a bit dizzily, he knocked three times on the door. The familiar giddy feeling rose in his chest when he saw a shadow approach the curtained window and Will suddenly had the urge to fix his hair somehow. He trusted that Mike would always think he looked good, but he still wore the letterman jacket that Mike had particularly ogled him in that one time.

The door opened. Will couldn’t hold himself back any longer, throwing himself onto him, “Oh my god, I am so hungover–”

But, what was this? Mike was stiff and pushed him away a little. “Hey Will!” He said loudly, laughing nervously. 

Will searched his face, confused, heart in his mouth, until he met Mike’s eyes as his head tilted jerkily behind him. Oh God, what? He turned around as if to let Will into the room and revealed behind him that Dustin, Lucas, Max and El were all sitting on the couches, pointed towards the shitty TV that Mike had brought down to his basement. His stomach dropped. 

They all turned to look at the commotion by the door. Will’s face instantly heated. A chorus of “Hey Will”s ensued, but all he could do was wave shyly. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to see them, but this evening it was supposed to be just him and Mike. What happened?

That’s what he asked with his glaring eyes once the others had turned back to talking amongst themselves. “Mike–” He whispered angrily, grabbing his arm. 

Mike lowered his voice and whispered in a flurry, his voice shaking, eyes staring into Will’s with a certain desperation, “I’m so, so sorry Will, they just–” 

“Come on , Mike, I’ve just gotten this working,” Dustin moaned, and Mike was cut off, lifting his hand off Will’s arm in a flash. 

He watched as Mike rolled his eyes at them and walked away from him. “Alright, have some patience,” he said, speaking as if nothing was wrong, nothing was out of the ordinary. 

Will chewed on his lip and followed behind, feeling like a lost child in a big supermarket, before he found some relief in the fact that Mike had saved a spot next to him on the couch, patting it with a small smile. Sitting down slowly, he felt the electricity of being able to touch Mike’s leg and arm with his own, but it wasn’t enough. 

‘Sorry’ Mike mouthed as the others bickered over the controller, giving an apologetic tilt of his head, and Will felt his heart wrench a little at the sight of him so sincere. He tried to smile back, but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes, blinking rapidly. 

“Byers, are you feeling okay after last night? ” asked Max, a sly smirk creeping onto her face. For a panicked second, Will thought she knew everything, everything about Mike kissing him in the car and dropping him off at home. But of course she didn’t, right?

Lucas chimed in, “Oh my God, Dustin you missed it. Will was off his nut –”

“Shit, I always miss these things,” Dustin groaned, slamming his hands down in mock-anger. 

Will shamefully felt himself blushing again, retreating in on himself. “I wasn’t– I wasn’t that bad,” he said, looking to Mike for help. He looked at him and then quickly glanced away, not saying anything. 

“Mhm, sure,” Lucas laughed. 

Will needed to take his frustration out on something , so he saw an opportunity to be sarcastic again. “Well, I would never have gotten so drunk if it wasn’t for you guys encouraging me.”

Max sat up. “Oh yeah, because we made you slam that first shot, and the second one, and the third one–”

“We had some part of it, Max,” El piped up finally, raising her eyebrows at her. Will caught her eyes glancing at Mike for a second and so he too looked over at him. His leg was bouncing, and he was doing that thing he did when he was nervous where he fidgeted with his fingers. 

“ El , you’re supposed to back me up!” El sat there docile, giving a little a smile as Max shook her arm. 

“Right!” Mike suddenly said loudly, clapping, making Will almost jump out of his skin. “We’re never going to watch this if we’re not careful.” The others shrugged and mumbled out agreements, and Will took one last look at him. He felt his heart jump at the sight of Mike already looking back at him, something akin to concern riddled on his face. 

The TV sprung to life, and they were forced to look away from each other, but not without a swirling feeling that began to pool in Will’s stomach. 

Everything’s fine, he tried to tell himself. He said sorry . But there was a pessimistic part of him that told him there was a reason that Mike had brought everyone else here. 

As the movie played on, Will wondered if the others could feel what was going on between them somehow, except for El of course, but she seemed transfixed on the TV anyway. 

He could feel himself overthinking everything, even though he knew he shouldn’t be:

The way it almost felt like Lucas was giving the two of them space on the couch on purpose. Was El glancing at them occasionally or was he just seeing things? Mike’s breathing pattern changing whenever Will moved in his seat. Mike’s blinking, Mike’s warmth, Mike picking at his skin, Mike, Mike, Mike. 

It had been probably around half an hour, but it felt like hours since he had last spoken to him. That was all he wanted, really. To hear one soft word from Mike’s lips. Maybe he was being ridiculous, I mean, he felt himself shaking, for God’s sake. And Mike could definitely feel it too because they were pressed up against each other—

“Will,” Mike whispered. The movie was loud and Max was complaining about something with El. “You okay?” 

He wished he was angry. But from the look on Mike’s face, with his eyebrows all scrunched up and apprehension and eyes darting everywhere, Will could tell he was probably thinking the same things he was. 

Will opened his mouth to answer, but gasps and angry protests went up from the rest of them at something happening on the screen, and he startled, looking over. When he glanced back at Mike, his heart jumped at the sight of him still staring directly at him despite it all, searching for an answer. 

Will nodded shakily, bringing his eyes down. He stared at Mike’s hand which was resting on the top of his thigh, mirroring where Will’s was. 

His breath caught in his throat when Mike’s hand moved, and he felt a little ridiculous for that, but who could blame him? Especially when it seemed to move towards his own . 

Slowly and carefully, Mike’s pinkie finger inched its way from his leg to Will’s. Will instinctively mirrored the action, staring down as he felt the touch of his pinkie to Mike’s, sending a prickling feeling up and down his hand. He should probably steady his breathing, looking up to see if anyone had noticed what they were doing. 

No, they were concentrating on the movie. But Mike didn’t seem to care about the TV one bit, wrapping his little finger round Will’s cautiously. He felt himself grinning and stopped himself before it would be too obvious what had gotten him so elated. It was especially difficult when he felt the finger wound around his move to softly rub their skin together. 

They sat like that for a few minutes, subtle enough to not be noticed, staring down on many occasions as Mike’s breathing faltered. Will felt tenderness bloom in his chest, the urge grew to hold Mike’s hand properly, to feel his warm palm again. 

Boldly, he moved his hand to intertwine their fingers together, and instantly he felt Mike startle. Pulling his hand away, Mike locked eyes with Will and the look he gave him could have said a thousand words. Will searched for an apology there, but he didn’t have the energy to find it, looking down at their separated hands.

The prick of tears sprang in his eyes all of sudden, and he was sure Mike had noticed when he tilted his head with scrunched up eyebrows as if he hadn’t just caused it. 

Dammit, what am I doing? Fuck, fuck this. Will stood up. 

“Just uh–” Shit, his voice broke a little. Maybe only he noticed that. “Just gonna get some more popcorn, you guys,” Will rapidly spat out before stepping over legs and walking up the basement stairs, unable to look back at Mike. He swore he had felt the brush of hand on his hip when he stood up. 

Well, if he wanted to stop him, he could have. Will leant on the counter.

The kitchen was empty and dark except for the moonlight, and the muffled sounds of the movie downstairs only half-calmed his nerves. Stupid, stupid, stupid– Will heard the voices say in his head. How did he ever think he could hold hands with Mike? With everyone else around? God, he must have made him feel so awful . And he didn’t deserve that, he didn’t deserve Will, he deserved so much better, someone who wasn’t so needy. 

Thoughts ran around his head like a merry-go-round of taunts, and Will felt the need to cool himself down, so he opened the fridge and stepped closer, almost inside it. 

He tried to breathe, but he kept feeling it, the sensation of Mike pulling away. You’re endangering him, he intrusively told himself. He’d heard Mike talking about how he was afraid of his friends finding out he was gay, how dare he not listen? He was a terrible boyfriend. If he even was Mike’s boyfriend. He didn’t blame him if he didn’t want to be. 

Feeling a few warm tears spilling down his cooled cheeks, Will looked into the now-blurry blue light of the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water, hoping it would calm himself down. Sniffling, he closed the fridge door.

“Shit!” Mike’s presence in the kitchen made him drop the water bottle on the floor with a loud bang. He rushed over quickly, trying to grab the water before Will could and failing. 

“Sorry, sorry, I–” Mike stammered out, voice hushed.

“You really scared me, oh my god,” Will whispered out in a hurry, swiftly wiping his cheeks before Mike could notice. But it was to no avail. He saw Mike’s eyes widen in the moonlight, and he cursed the way it highlighted his sharp features. He didn’t deserve him, in all his beauty.

“No… Will, hey,” he whispered, and Will could feel a hand going to his arm, but the hand was shaking , as if every touch could hurt them. He had done that. He had made Mike feel like that hadn’t he? With what he did in the basement, moving too fast.

Will couldn’t take it anymore, and sniffed, letting out a small sob. “I’m so sorry, Mike. I’m– I’m so–” he was cut off, his crying betraying him. He felt himself sobbing, but no sounds left his mouth. 

Mike seemed completely frozen with… shock? Will couldn’t tell through his tears. His hand carefully placed itself on his heart as if Will’s hurtful words towards himself had hurt him too. 

Mike’s jaw went a little slack. He was somehow still close to him, and Will didn’t know how, how he could stand it. 

“You’re– you’re sorry?”

Will knew his voice was mangled, but he spoke anyway, “Yeah… I’m such… such an idiot.” He placed the bottle on the counter with a little force before using his hands to try and wipe away his tears before more came. 

“Will, Will, no–” Mike started, rushing closer to him somehow, grabbing his arms. “You’re not. I’m– I’m the idiot.” Will looked up at him through his eyelashes, sniffling again. “You just wanted to hold… to y’know. Hold my hand. And…”

Will felt Mike’s hand go to his in the dark. He closed his eyes, appreciating the warmth of it, the way his skin felt. 

“I should have called you,” Mike whispered. 

“What?” Will croaked.

“About everyone being here. Ugh, it was so annoying, I simply mentioned that you were coming round because– because I guess I was excited and then Lucas and Dustin invited themselves over, then they invited Max and then El. It all happened so fast, and– I didn’t know what to say, y’know? About us having time… to ourselves… I didn’t know how it would look– I- I don't know.” 

Will soothingly rubbed a hand over Mike’s upper arm, letting him finish his ramble. His sweater was soft, he thought. “I understand.”

“You– you do?” Mike asked hopefully, making Will’s heart wrench. He nodded sincerely. 

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s hard to say no sometimes. And you don’t want to have to explain… us,” he said, cursing himself when his voice broke from the remnants of his earlier sobbing. “But I– I shouldn’t have moved that fast with everyone else around.” He felt himself getting worked up again, so he looked to the ceiling and tried to take a deep breath. 

The breath caught in his throat however, when he felt a hand move to his jaw. “Shh, hey, don’t. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

Will breathed in and out, letting the feeling of Mike’s careful strokes on his face, wiping away some of the remnant tears, calm him down. Everything was fine, it was just them in this house, at least this part of it. He even felt himself smile a little, albeit shakily, when Mike leant his forehead against his. 

But then he heard Mike’s voice break, and his own heart broke along with it,

“I could tell how hurt you were when I opened the door, Will. God it just– it just killed me.” Tears pooled in his eyes. He knew how rare these were, his tears, always sucked back in. “You were looking forward to it and… it’s ruined.”

“Hey,” Will soothed, letting his own hand come up to rest on Mike’s shoulders, rubbing them slowly. “It’s not ruined . I like hanging with our friends, okay?”

Mike nodded, shutting his eyes, but he bit his lip. The movie’s muffled music swelled from the basement. “I know. I know, it’s just I want– I wanted you today.”

Will let out a breath, shuddering out his chest. Relief washed over him knowing that Mike wasn’t mad at him. “Me too.” 

“Is that why you got drunk last night?” Will looked at Mike’s face, which had somehow gotten even sadder. “Because we couldn’t… do anything?”

Will opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Mike’s lip quivered and he shut his eyes, letting his head fall a little. Breathing out, Will came to meet his gaze when his eyes opened again. “I shouldn’t have done that, Mike. And it’s not your fault. It’s… it’s everyone else’s. Know what I mean?” 

He didn’t say anything, and Will swore he could hear quiet whimpering, so he continued. “Look, it’s okay. It’s okay . I’m okay. I… I love you. You know?” 

Mike nodded. He swallowed and then a little voice came, “Just– just get so worried about you sometimes. After… after…” His last words were but a whisper. He didn’t need to finish, Will already knew what he meant. After everything that happened to us . 

“Oh, Mike ,” Will let out, gliding his hand to the back of Mike’s neck. 

They both went silent, foreheads leant on each other and Will felt himself swaying a little, but Mike was holding him steadfast. With his nose being nudged by Mike’s, he lifted his chin, knowing what was about to happen. His heart stuttered in his chest as their lips gently connected in the dark, Mike’s hands moving to his face as Will’s tangled in his hair, fingers finding tracks in between the strands. Sighing, Will felt himself aching. He needed this. He really needed this. 

Mike slowly pulled away, and even when he had, he barely moved his lips from Will’s, breath ghosting over them as he whispered, “Please. Let me make it up to you, properly this time.”

Letting out a small laugh, Will shook his head and kissed his lips for a millisecond. The sincerity in Mike’s voice made him warm. “It’s– it’s okay.”

Suddenly grabbing Will’s face in his hands and staring straight at him, Mike said hushedly, “No, no, you deserve it. You…” Glancing away, Mike licked his lips. “I can sleep over. At yours tomorrow.”

Will perked up, feeling a smile growing beneath the surface. Mike carried on, “If you… if you want?”

“Yeah! Yeah,” Will answered swiftly, nodding. He couldn’t help it; a grin split his face. But– “Wait, uh, what about your curfew or your mom? I thought–”

“Screw that. I can just sneak out, I should have been doing that this whole time, right?” Mike said, shrugging, sharing a sideways smile. They were still close to each other, and the feeling of his breath on his lips made Will yearn for tomorrow night even more. Staying over ; they hadn’t actually technically slept in the same bed ever since they had gotten together. 

Will blinked at him. He didn’t know the thought would make him this giddy. “Oh, oh wow– um, really?”

Mike nodded, and Will felt a hand creep up to his jaw yet again, but this time it wasn’t to wipe any tears away. “I just need time with you,” Mike whispered, shutting his eyes against the weight of his words. Will felt a sudden surge of affection, heart leaping, because Mike had just said everything that Will was feeling in one simple sentence. Time . With you . Need.  

He could hardly control himself, but Mike beat him to it, pulling Will’s face to meet him in another kiss, this one not so gentle. Will felt himself pouring every longing feeling he’d had for Mike this evening into it, pressing deeper like how they would when they were confident they were completely alone. And he felt Mike reciprocate with pleasure, and he swore he could feel a little hum of surprise against his lips. 

Yes, this is exactly what I wanted , Will thought loudly in his head, hoping Mike could somehow hear it like he had telepathy. His feelings only swelled when he felt Mike’s hand press against the back of his neck, letting his mouth open slightly so Mike could explore it further. 

Shaky hands ran over Mike’s arms, before clutching on and squeezing, because, God, this was everything. He was everything. Everything he had ever–

Someone was coming up the basement stairs. Springing apart, Mike’s eyes were blown wide open, but even in the dark Will could see his face was completely pink, and he assumed his was too, given the heat in his cheeks. He brought a subconscious hand to his lips, still feeling the sensation of Mike’s tongue sliding over his, and Jesus, that was close. The door opened.

Max appeared, rolling her eyes. “Are you guys done yet? Lucas ate all the snacks,” she said loudly, followed by a muffled ‘No I didn’t!’ from downstairs. Could she see the way that their chests were rising and falling in tandem?

Mike nodded jerkily. “Uh– uhuh, yeah.” 

“Great…” Max trailed off, and Will felt his stomach drop a little as he watched her eyes move between them. 

Mike was the first to move, grabbing a bag of chips and a bowl before rushing downstairs and Will couldn’t help but sigh, wishing their moment could have lasted a little longer. Oh well, they had tomorrow. 

But when he went to follow Mike, Max stepped in front of him. He hadn’t often seen her like this, with such an earnest look on her face, eyebrows raised. He silently wondered if his eyes were red from crying. 

“Wh– what?” He stuttered, trying to pretend both to her and to himself that nothing was going on. 

“Look…” Max started. “I tried to tell them not to come.” 

What? Will froze, a frown forming on his face. 

Max continued, “Well, El and I did.” 

What?  

“Wait— wha- who are you talking about? Lucas and Dustin?” Max nodded, her face still serious. The implications of what she had just said ran around Will’s mind in a flurry of worries, his voice squeaking. “Um. Why– I don’t– I don’t–”

 “Jesus, okay uh…” Max lowered her voice. “Remember last night– well, I guess you don’t remember but…”

Will crossed his arms over his chest, holding his breath, as if everything could be a sign to Max about what was going on. “Listen, I can remember some stuff . Not everything, though.” He remembered the feeling of Mike having to delay a kiss again , the car drive home, the way that Mike had almost cried, their little farewell and Will flopping into bed and instantly dozing off in his clothes. 

“Okay, shit well, it’s just… we were all in the garden. Lucas was like… talking with some other people and me and El went to go back inside… uh–”

Will felt himself trembling, and the memory of Mike between his legs while he was up on the counter, saying things to him flashed up in his mind. He remembered the way the lights from the outside of the party had made shapes on Mike’s face, highlighting his features and– 

“The window,” Will breathed, not realizing he had said it before Max replied. 

“Yeah…” 

Oh god. This was all his fault, he knew that El and Jonathan had been super understanding, because they were his siblings, but would his other friends share the same values? Instantly, Will thought of Mike, and what he would feel if he knew that Max had seen them doing that. The lump in his throat grew. He couldn’t let Mike go, because if anyone found out, wouldn’t it ruin everything?

“We were…” Will’s thoughts ran a mile a minute, thinking of excuses, or trying. “We were just– We–”

“Hey. El explained it. Well, not all of it, she was kind of cryptic about stuff, as usual. But I put the pieces… together, I guess.”

Will felt breaths coming short from his chest and he looked around the room. God, he had to get out of here. This wasn’t happening, not today, not with everyone in the next room, not when Mike had trusted him. Not only did Max and El see them, but if they could see through the window to them, who else could ? 

Max clearly saw Will’s reaction as she awkwardly stepped towards him. “Uh, Byers? Will.”

“What?” Will sighed, beginning to step backwards, slightly pacing on the spot as his hand went to his head, grabbing a fistful of hair. His eyes squeezed shut for a second, but startled open when he felt a hand on his arm. 

“It’s– it’s okay.” 

Will felt himself let out a pathetic sound, like some sort of whimper, and he felt tears stinging his eyes again. 

“You know it’s okay. Of course it is.” Max stated, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Will swallowed. “I mean… it’s not like we haven’t noticed a change.”

That didn’t help his nerves at all. “Noticed? You mean, you’ve all known–”

“No, no, uh–” She shook herself off. “I meant like a change in, well, in Wheeler more than anything. He’s way less annoying now.” 

Will laughed but stayed silent, processing it all. Despite everything happening in that moment, he felt himself smile a little, after all, he had hoped so much that Mike was made happier by everything between them recently. In fact, he had felt the opposite for a while, in spite of Mike’s insistence that he was okay with being with him and that he wasn’t too stressed out by the secrecy. 

“Now I know why. It makes sense, honestly.” Max looked off the side, widening her eyes a bit. “It all makes sense now.”

Will sniffed, telling himself to breathe. “And— and you’re alright?” He looked down at his fingers, voice small. How was he supposed to tell his mom if he couldn’t even face Max? “With… that?” 

Her eyes widened. “Yes? I said it was okay. Even if I didn’t, that shouldn’t stop you. Fuck what everyone else thinks, right?” Will breathed a sigh. “Besides, I think you’re good for each other. You’d be good for him.” 

El had said that, ‘you’d be good for him’, when she first found out. It made him smile and cry then, and it almost did the same to him now. He had a feeling Max had taken the words right out her mouth, like El had repeated them to her. It warmed his heart, and his shoulders relaxed. 

He was almost speechless, and questioned why he would ever have to worry about his friends’ reactions, he knew they were kind people. “Thanks, Max.”

“It’s really nothing—“ 

“Seriously. Thank you.” 

Max grinned sideways and gave a light hearted roll of her eyes. “Okay, okay, don’t get all sappy on me, alright?” She said sarcastically, although there was a sincere glint in her eye. She nodded her head towards the basement door to encourage Will to come with her as she walked away. 

Letting himself breathe, Will followed down the stairs. When he entered the room, he saw Mike light up, but Will’s real happiness came from the fact that he still looked happy before he had come in as well, chatting to the others with a crackling energy. 

Mike tilted his head, as if to ask if everything was okay, but Will just smiled back, telepathically saying Everything’s fine . They grinned subtly at each other, making a thrill go through Will’s stomach.

“ Finally! ” Dustin groaned, switching the TV back from pause, completely oblivious, at least Will figured.

When he sat back down, pressed against Mike again, he caught Max’s eye. He liked that, opening up, having people know. At least the people he cared about. Maybe he was ready, but he was also ready to wait if Mike wasn’t. 

Chapter Text

Sat on his bed with his back against the headboard, Will flicked through the last few pages of the X-Men #249 comic on his lap and set it down on his bedside table. He glanced at the digital clock; it read 11:15 pm, and he sighed. 

They hadn’t exactly arranged for when Mike would appear at his window, and he could hear the soft tapping of rain against the roof. Maybe he had decided that it was better to stay at home than drive all that way to him in the storm that had begun a few hours ago.

Will jumped as the rain grew suddenly more violent, lashing against the window like–

“Will!” A muffled voice came and he scrambled off his bed to answer it. “I swear if you’re asleep– Oh hey!” Will came to the window and saw a completely drenched Mike standing outside his window, raindrops falling from his hair. Despite it, when he caught Will’s eye he grinned, squinting in the storm. 

Will rolled his eyes affectionately, opening the window before grabbing Mike’s outstretched hand and attempting to pull him up. It was a struggle, and his hand was slippery from the rain, but eventually he stumbled in and Will hoped that the noise hadn’t awoken anyone. 

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” Mike breathed out, panting. His voice was a little hoarse, and he was wearing that jacket that Will particularly liked. He had only been in his room for five seconds but he couldn’t resist him any longer, staring at his messed up hair and little smile that was made warmer by the lamp-light, and enveloped him in a tight hug, wrapping his arms around his waist. 

Mike startled but squeezed back, hands running over Will’s back with his cheek pressed against the top of his head. “Will– Will, I’m soaking, don’t get yourself wet.”

“Mm, don’t care,” he mumbled into Mike’s shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent that reminded him of the basement he’d basically grown up in. Then he felt him shiver against him, and even though it made the arms around him grow tighter, Will pulled back. “Wait, did you bike here?”

Mike nodded triumphantly, grinning that stupid smile, and Will frowned. “Jesus, you’re such an idiot, sit down,” he said, dragging Mike to sit on his bed, trembling from the cold and wet, dripping onto his sheets. 

“What? My car’s absolute useless shit in the rain. Doesn’t work, I told you it’s terrible.”

Will pulled a towel from his closet, and sat back down next to Mike, running it through his hair in a hurry, making him squirm in protest. “You didn’t have to come, though. Could have called me–”

“Are you kidding?” Mike said, voice all soft yet adamant. Will cursed him for being so stupid and yet so endearing, it would almost be infuriating if it wasn’t for the smile that he was giving him, his cheeks all pink from the cold. “And break my promise to you? No, no way.”

“Oh my god, Mike ,” Will said, pretending to be annoyed, but when he rubbed the towel over Mike’s hair and tightened his grip to dry it, he tried to suppress a smile. 

“Can’t have that,” Mike whispered, grabbing the towel and sliding it off his head. His words felt like they were caressing his face. “Come here.”

Will watched his damp hair fall in his eyes and felt an extremely cold hand touch his cheek, holding his face and pulling him closer. That idiotic grin again, the glint in his eye, it almost overwhelmed him. Will shook his head and felt himself blushing, “You’re so stupi–”

Mike kissed him once, pulling away as Will’s face tilted up to chase him. “Aren’t you glad to see me?” He asked teasingly.

Rolling his eyes, Will let his hand caringly glide down Mike’s arm, feeling how damp he was.  “Duh, do you even have to– shit, your hand is freezing . Are you sure you’re okay?” Mike shrugged, still giving Will a look that sent him melting like candle wax. “Mike, come on, you’re shaking . You need to change out of your clothes, uh…” Will stood up to go to his closet.

Mike held his hands up. “Woah.”

“Oh shut up , I’m serious,” Will said, cursing the giggle that left his lips afterwards.

“Okay fine, but your clothes might be a bit small for me, just saying.”

Will scoffed as he searched through worn-out sweaters, shirts and pants, “You’re thinking of when we were kids, I’ve grown a lot since then actually.” He brought out an extra pair of pajama pants and one of Jonathan’s old band t-shirts that he had lent him a couple years ago, going to sit back down on the bed.

Mike began to unzip his jacket. “You certainly have.”

Adrenaline made him shiver from Mike’s words. “What has gotten into you– shut up.”

Mike looked down at what Will had gotten out for him. To Will’s surprise, he brought it up to his face and smelt it . Will could have died right then at the tender little smile Mike gave afterwards. Then he opened the shirt out in front of him and snorted. “How obsessed are you with The Clash?”

“I’m not that obsessed, this isn’t even my shirt!” 

“Bull shit ! It smells like you!”

Will blushed, but Jesus, they were being loud. He remembered that Jonathan was in the room opposite him, and he never slept this early. “Mike, shh–”

“Oh I see –”

“Seriously,” he whispered, letting out a helpless chuckle at Mike’s surprised face when he put his hand over his mouth clumsily. He pulled it back slowly and there was a warm smile there waiting for him. “My mom might hear you.”

Mike put a finger to his lips, still smirking. “Sorry,” he replied quietly. 

Sighing, Will began to settle back into bed, his back against the headboard, but this time he brought the covers over his legs and let himself relax, listening to Mike’s breathing and soft rain tapping on his window as he finally took off his coat and got up, chucking the jacket to the chair in the corner. 

Will looked up when he heard a faint and honest, “You’re cute.”

He curled in on himself, feeling quiet. “Mm, stop.”

Mike shrugged, grinning wryly at him before unbuttoning the top buttons of his collared long-sleeve t-shirt. For a second, Will didn’t know where to look, staring down at his hands, internally kicking himself because who was he kidding? This was Mike , he didn’t need to be nervous around him. 

“Will?” He jumped, looking up.

“Yeah?” His brain yelling at him don’t blush only fueled the heat in his cheeks further. But how could he not, when Mike was shirtless in his room, ruffling his damp hair with a towel? His best friend, who he had been in love with since, well, since forever, was–

Asking him a question. Shit. 

“Will?” Mike asked again.

“Wh– what? Sorry,” Will shook himself off, and tried to ignore the way that Mike snorted, a knowing grin spreading across his face. 

“I asked you if you were feeling tired,” Mike explained softly, his mouth tugging upwards at the corners. He grabbed the t-shirt and put it on. Will opened his mouth to answer but faltered a little when he caught himself staring at Mike’s collar bones–

Stop it . “Um, yeah. I mean, no. I’m fine, but kind of…” Will started, hoping Mike didn’t notice the squeak in his voice. Why was he being so shy? He was acting like how they did before he knew about Mike’s feelings for him.

But Mike didn’t seem to care, clueless as usual, looking down at himself. “Oh, cool. It fits.” He looked back up with a grin directed at Will like he was hoping he would reciprocate, so Will tried his best. 

Will thought about doing what he usually did which was to retort with some quip about Mike being wrong, but he was silent, looking down to hide the smile on his face. He knew that Mike was changing into his pajama pants now. He prayed Mike wouldn't speak again, and this time he didn’t, a comfortable silence passing between them. 

Sensing that Mike was finished, Will slowly looked up and found him picking up his wet clothes off the floor and draping them on Will’s radiator. He was no longer shirtless, and yet, Will still felt himself smiling uncontrollably at the sight of Mike in his pajamas. Mike was in his pajamas, all crumpled up and a little cold and Will had the urge to just hug him again, hug him over and over and whisper sweet things in his ear as he warmed up. The memories of Mike kissing his skin flashed in his mind, and he suddenly felt that strong longing he’d had for his whole life. But this time he could act on it. 

Sometimes he still had to tell himself that this was all real and not some daydream, because it was only a few months ago when he truly believed that this kind of scenario would only ever happen in his deepest fantasies. 

“Okay,” Mike sighed, walking over to the bed and climbing in next to Will, but instead of sitting up like he was, he got straight under the covers, lying down with his head on the pillow. 

Will mindlessly placed his hand on Mike’s head, carding his fingers through his damp hair, although it had begun to dry. He brushed the stray strands away from his face to get a better look at the way Mike’s eyelashes rested on cheek when he closed his eyes. Why did he have to be so beautiful?

They stayed like that for a moment, and Will appreciated the slow rhythm of Mike’s breath, the rain, the fact that they were alone. Finally alone, no friends in the basement, no partygoers in the garden. Just them in Will’s bedroom. Warmth bloomed in his chest when Mike’s head shifted from where it was on the pillow so that his forehead was leant up against his leg, pressing inwards to get closer. 

Will let out a breathy laugh and said, “I thought I was the tired one.”

Fluttering his eyes open, Mike rubbed them and looked up, grinning that same idiotic smile. “What?” he asked groggily. 

Laughing again, Will shifted downwards so that his head was also on the pillow and got comfy in the sheets before turning over to face Mike. “Do you wanna sleep now?” he asked softly, moving to touch the back of his knuckles to his cheek with care. 

Mike seemed to shake himself off, blinking rapidly. “N- no. No.” Will, suspicious about that fact, moved closer and reveled in the way that Mike’s breath grazed his face. “No, I wanna talk. Talk to you.” He seemed to shift under the covers, trying to keep his eyes open with effort. 

“Alright, what– what do you want to tell me, hm?” Will let out a giggle and got louder when Mike didn’t respond, not able to help planting a kiss on his cheek. 

He needed to tell him– wait he could tell him. He was so used to not being able to. “God, you’re so cute when you’re like this.”

It almost took a few seconds for Mike to even notice what he had said, the delayed reaction making him open his eyes properly and run his hand lovingly up Will’s arm under the covers. “Shut it,” he said with a sleepy half-laugh. 

Will felt the loving hand travel downwards again to his waist. Mike tugged a little at the cotton material there, indicating that he wanted Will closer, so he obliged. Without any time for him to prepare, Will felt Mike’s tired lips press against the corner of his mouth, missing a little, probably because of the state he was in, so he moved his head to capture him in a real kiss. 

It was slow, but so were their minds. Occasionally, it was almost as if Mike would forget they were kissing and practically fall asleep on Will’s lips, fingers curled around the back of his head, subconsciously scratching his fingers against his scalp. Will rejoiced in the feeling, smiling against Mike’s mouth. He pressed further in, and he could sense that Mike was trying his hardest to press back, but his persistent gentleness made Will laugh without being able to control it, letting out a loud exhale. 

“What?” Mike whined, pulling away and letting his face burrow into the space between Will’s neck and his shoulder. 

“Nothing! Nothing,” Will laughed, rubbing his hand over Mike’s head. “Just happy.”

He had never experienced Mike like this. Yes, he had kissed him in this slow gentle way, and yes, he had even slept in the same bed as him before many times. But this Mike, with his heavy eyelids and sideways smile that melted his soul, he had never kissed, never hugged. He had always had to watch, longing. 

He kissed a spot on his head and the small comforting noise Mike let out in response reverberated off his skin, making him shiver. They lay there like that for a minute, and Will figured maybe Mike had fallen asleep, but suddenly he heard a soft, “Mm, I love you.”

As soon as he heard it, Will felt adrenaline shoot through him and he curled in on himself again, and God, he had never felt so good, it was like he couldn’t take it. “Oh my god –”

“ What ?” Mike whined again, pushing his shoulder. 

“You’re driving me crazy!” Will held his hands out as if to point at his face annoyedly before flopping back down on the pillow and gazing at him lovingly.

“What?”  He repeated, laughing on a scoff.

“You’re just so… sweet and I’m so…” Will sighed. He didn’t have any words that could describe him at that moment, they would never do him justice, but at least he had one word to describe himself. “I’m very happy, that’s all. I don’t even know what to do with all this happiness– I’ve never…”

Mike’s face had lit up at first, but there was a questioning glint in his tired eyes from the warm lamp-light. “Mhm?”

“I don’t know.” He felt comforting fingers rubbing his side over his shirt and another set of fingers grazing his forehead on the pillow, so he too reached his hand up to where Mike’s was, their hands brushing together. 

Will scrunched his smile to the side as they watched each other, and he wondered if Mike could sense how much his eyelids were drooping; he could definitely see that yawn, but he was able to sense how much he loved him back, right? 

How much he wished he could show everyone? 

Will suddenly remembered something and quickly opened his eyes again, before realizing just how long they had been staring at each other, as Mike was definitely falling asleep by now; his pupils were barely visible and his breathing evened out slowly. But the crooked smile on his face told a tale of fondness that he couldn’t describe. 

Carefully, Will gave him a little nudge. 

“Mike?” 

“Hm?” He mumbled, smiling with his eyes closed. He had said he wanted to talk earlier, so Will hoped he wasn’t bothering him too much. It didn’t seem that way, at least. 

“I need to– I need to tell you something.” He took a breath, watching Mike’s eyes blink open blearily.

“Tell me something?” Will nodded. “Is it… bad?”

A surge of affection for tired-Mike went through Will’s chest, and he shook his head, lightly kissing the space between Mike’s eyebrows. “No, it’s not bad. It’s not… it’s not bad.” He hoped he couldn’t hear the uncertainty in his voice. 

Mike waited, eyebrows upturned with his lips slightly parted and Will could hardly let him carry on like that, so he sighed. “Do you remember last night when Max like… kind of–”

“Almost caught us making out?” Mike half-chuckled. Will shared it, but told himself to focus on his words and not how much he wanted to make out again, this time in bed with their legs tangled around each other and the white noise of the rain–

Focus.

What would Mike’s reaction be to telling him this? Would he resent Will? Was this a terrible idea, and he should have just let him find out by himself? He imagined him sitting up in bed with shock, not speaking before leaving through the window and riding back home. Will shook himself; he needed to tell him before any more of these catastrophic imaginings appeared in his head like always. They didn’t help anyone. 

“Yeah, uh, well do you also remember that we stayed up there for a while afterwards?” Mike frowned but he nodded.  

“Mike… she– she knows,” Will whispered, suddenly not able to look him in the eye. He felt the flood-gates opening, knowing that once he began speaking about it, he wouldn’t be able to stop. But Mike interrupted him, 

“About us ?” 

Will nodded and dared to look up. Mike’s face was unreadable, eyes darting over his face, lips pressed together with a small frown. He opened and closed his mouth, and Will felt dread coil round his stomach as he watched Mike’s lips tremble, and he swore he could see a sheen cover his eyes for a second. 

“What… h– how?” Mike asked, looking straight at him as if to question whether Will had been the one to tell her without his permission. And there they were again, tears , in Mike’s eyes. Will tried to tell himself that it was okay, that this wouldn’t ruin anything, and against his better judgment, he carried on speaking. 

“The other night where we were like… in the kitchen,” Will began, turning to lie on his back so that he wouldn’t have to feel Mike’s eyes searing into his face. It didn’t exactly work. “Apparently, uh, she and El, they saw us–” His voice broke, and he swallowed. “They saw us.”

Mike wasn’t saying a word, so he turned around to look, and his face looked blank, staring off into space as he sat up a little, the covers moving off of his shoulders. Will felt panic rising in his throat, and reached out for Mike’s arm, squeezing it gently. “I’m so, so sorry. Mike, I swear I tried , I tried to like– make up something but–”

Suddenly shaking himself, Mike turned to stare straight at him, gripping Will’s attention with anticipation. “Was she… was she okay? With it?”

Will stammered, “Uh, yeah, yeah, she was actually. Said something about how you were much… happier lately. And less annoying; she said we were good together.” Mike grinned to the side, but Will ignored it, feeling his breath coming short. “But– but I should have just… I should have just… uh–”

“Will,” Mike said, voice attentive as well as his hand on Will’s jaw, rubbing his soft-padded thumb over it. His breath caught and he found himself whimpering, feeling a little pathetic. “Shh, hey. It’s okay, I think… I mean, I am … okay with that.” 

Will swallowed. “Really?”

Nodding, Mike replied, “Really. Honestly… I’m kind of relieved.” He let out a breath, dragging his hand down from Will’s jaw to his chest absent-mindedly, fingers grasping at his shirt a bit. He looked off to the side, eyes full of thought. Will tilted his head to one side as Mike’s blinking became quick, as if he were fighting something off. 

“I guess… it’s not as hard when people just find out for themselves,” Mike said quietly, and Will frowned when he sensed a certain sadness in his voice. His instincts told him to ask him what was wrong, but he held back just in case. 

He continued, “I honestly can’t even like– begin to think about how to tell people. Like my mom, or Nancy, or the rest of the Party.” Oh shit, they were really talking about this now weren’t they?

“It’s just too real . I wish I was better at this for you, I really do wish I was. And, I’m not– I’m not ashamed of you, Will.” 

Upon hearing Mike’s voice crack and seeing a tear pooling in his eye, Will grabbed his hand underneath the covers, feeling their fingers intertwine slowly. Mike’s eyes squeezed shut and opened again multiple times before he had the courage to keep going. 

Will whispered, “I know you’re not” softly enough so that Mike would only be able to hear it if he was an inch away from his face. And he did. 

“I’m so sorry. I love you so much and I feel like– I don’t know…” Mike looked off to the side, biting his lip. When Will squeezed his hand again, he watched Mike blink and a single tear leaked out, before it was quickly wiped away with a sad chuckle. “Sorry, sorry.”

“No… hey–”

“I feel like I’m holding you back, or something, you know? Like, you had it all figured out and I– I can’t even begin to imagine what to say to people about us. It’s not fair on you, it’s not fair, and I’m so so sorry, I’m so, so–” He cut himself off and Will grabbed his face with care, keeping him from looking down.

“Shh, Mike, you’re not–” Will let out a small laugh despite it all because, wow, Mike felt the exact way that he did, putting his feelings into words that he could finally understand. “I have not got it all figured out. Seriously.”

“Mm, I really haven’t, though.”

“Listen to me,” Will urged gently. “You think you’re alone in this, but you’re not. We are in the same boat, well, it may not be exactly the same, but I’ll help you and– and you’ll help me, I know it. Okay? You always feel like you have to try and fight your own… battles or whatever, but not this time.”

Mike looked up and sniffled. 

Will repeated himself, leaning closer so their noses brushed against each other’s. “Not this time.” 

He heard Mike sniff again before he connected their lips, kissing him multiple times with the greatest affection he could, feeling his own tears prick his eyes. He wasn’t surprised, he always cried whenever Mike cried, he had all his life, ever since they were kids. He remembered the time in second grade when he had watched Mike crying because he had fallen over and Will had felt himself getting choked up too, not able to explain why. 

His heart was wrenching, over and over at the thought of him feeling like this the whole time, glad that he finally was able to let it out, but also horrified that he had thought he was alone. 

To his pleasure, he felt Mike smile shakily against his lips for a moment before he said, “I’m sorry, I–”

Will clutched the back of his neck. “Hey, stop it with all the apologizing. You're turning into me or something.” They chuckled, a little garbled by the tears, but Will could still hear a note of uncertainty in Mike’s voice as he said,

“I just… don’t know what to do. Where do I even start? ” Will nodded, making sure he knew he was listening. “I mean, what do I say? Do I tell them that– that you’re my boyfriend or that I’m…” Skin flushing warm, Will flinched. Did he just say that? “That I’m… y’know?”

Mike sighed, almost defeated. But Will couldn’t ignore what he had just said, what he had just called him. Licking his lips, he softly asked, “I’m– I’m your boyfriend?” His voice was small, hopeful, and he could hardly endure any eye contact, staring down at his fingers. 

Slowly, he felt doting arms wrapping around his torso and he gladly let himself be brought closer to Mike, reveling in the warmth of his breath against his face, their chests pressed together under the covers. “Well… well yeah,” Mike said with a slight grin.

Will’s cheeks hurt trying to suppress a smile, daring to look up. Quite flustered, he said, trying to act casual and not like he had been hoping for this moment for years, “Oh cool. Yeah. Of course.” 

He let out a laugh and shook his head as if to scold himself for believing anything else, because now that he thought about it, what else would they have been? 

“You’re my boyfriend,” Mike breathed, like it was the most awe-inspiring sentence in the world.

Will felt a hand go to his chin, bringing his face up. Grinning like a fool against Mike’s lips and his relentlessness, he entangled their legs together, longing for more closeness, more, more and then even more. After blushing at the feeling of Mike’s tongue grazing his again, he felt warm and lethargic lips move from his own to his cheek, then his jaw, then his neck. Oh dear lord , he was going to explode from this feeling.  

Will let his hands rest in the hair of the boy kissing the space between his neck and his shoulders. He had almost forgotten what their conversation had even been about, simply in a daze.

Suddenly Mike’s voice vibrated against his skin with a little chuckle, “What did you think we were?” Will opened his mouth to speak, but he had to wait until Mike stopped kissing his skin in that caring way before he was able to say anything without it coming out in a whimper instead.

“Uh– uh, I don’t know,” he giggled, smiling at the disbelieving face Mike made at him when he placed his head back on the pillow. “We never really called it anything.”

Mike shrugged, looking to the side with a little smile, “Do you… want me to be your boyfriend?” He said it so nice and softly that he might as well have said I want you . 

Squeezing his eyes shut with the pure insanity of the whole situation, Will couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh and brought his wandering hands to Mike’s face again, boldly brushing their lips together. “Yes. I do, god, I really do.” 

“Mm–” Mike was cut off by Will’s lips again, giving it his all . “Cool! Yeah, awesome.” 

God I can’t believe I’m in love with this idiot who just said ‘awesome’ and ‘cool’ in response to me saying I want him to be my boyfriend. Will rolled his eyes and pulled on Mike’s shirt, indicating that he wanted him to do that thing where he would burrow his head into his chest, but Mike stayed still, wanting to keep eye contact for some reason. He opened his mouth and did that familiar wetting of his lips that told Will he was gearing up to say something. But he stopped himself.

Will had seen this mood before, so he held tightly to Mike’s hand and said as carefully as he could, “What’s on your mind, hm? What… what were you saying earlier?”

“Right, uh,” Mike looked down, blowing out a breath. “If I tell people… should I– should I say that you’re my boyfriend? Or just that I’m… y’know, um–” 

Will rubbed his shoulder soothingly. “What?” 

“You know . That I like…” He clicked his tongue and looked away, waiting for Will to say it for him. “Y’know.” 

“Mike,” Will whispered. “It’s okay.” 

“That I’m,” he lowered his voice, “gay.”

Lightly rubbing his side, Will nodded, pouring all his care into the way he looked at him, hoping he felt safe. “Well, I don’t know if you’d be able to say that to other people if… if you can’t even say it to yourself, Mike,” Will said gently, trying a small smile. 

A shaky breath shuddered through Mike’s chest and he shut his eyes, laughing bitterly. “This is ridiculous, I– I’m sorry.” 

Will made his voice firmer, but still soft in volume, “You are not ridiculous at all . It was hard for me too, like really hard. Because it would mean that everything, everything that everyone called me all my life would be true . I used to imagine my mom, the Party, my brother, everyone shaking their heads at me when they found out, because it meant I proved all the people they had defended me against right . Like all their efforts were for nothing, or something.” His voice was breaking now, and he let a tear escape. 

It was hard, saying all of this, but if it meant that Mike might feel less alone, he was glad to open up the rawest parts of his psyche. 

He felt Mike’s lovely hand rubbing his arm, and a kiss going to his forehead, but he carried on, unable to stop now. “I mean, I saw… everyone else living their normal lives and I just had to, I guess, admit that I was never going to have that. That I was always going to…” He looked up, finding Mike growing with concern riddled in his eyes. In his rambling, he had almost said, be alone . But he wasn’t. 

Will’s chest felt full somehow, and he reached out to the person who made him feel real. “But you . You…” He didn’t know what he was going to say, rubbing Mike’s freckled cheek just to remind himself that he was there. “I’m just so much happier now. Because I know you’re here, and I’m not alone. And– it’s like you always think you’re alone but–”

“I’m not,” Mike whispered before looking up at Will with misty eyes and a little smile. “I know.” 

The look he was giving him, eyes glistening, dimples showing, Will could have died right there. “Will– you… you really felt all that?”

He nodded, keeping his eyes on Mike’s face, even though his vision was blurring, trusting him. “Yeah. All of it. I know it might not… make a lot of sense.”

“Hey,” Mike said quietly, voice all soft and close to shattering. “It makes all the sense– just all the sense ever. In the world. No one’s ever…” Mike paused, readying himself almost. “No one’s ever understood me like this before. Ever .”

Will smiled harder than he had all evening, breathing out a happy sigh as leftover tears rolled down his cheeks. Mike’s ardent eyes focused on them and they were quickly rubbed away. 

“And what you said is true right? About… about you being happier now,” Mike asked hopefully, and Will shifted down further under the covers, sheets rustling, before leaning his forehead on Mike’s chest. The soft pounding of Mike’s heart grounded him. 

“Will?”

He made a pleasant sound when he felt Mike’s fingers on his scalp, scratching slowly. “Are you joking? Mike.” Will snorted. 

“What?” He felt a kiss being planted on his head, and there it was, case and point.

“ ‘M so happy. Living in this town would be so miserable without you.” He burrowed his head further into Mike’s chest to accentuate his argument. Normally his voice breaking would embarrass him, but Will didn’t care, sniffling. 

Mike smelt like home, and he tried to put his finger on what exactly it was that was so familiar about him, but like always, he came up short. “Me too. Me too, me too, me too,” Mike repeated into Will’s hair. 

Will scrunched his eyes up, feeling himself aching for another kiss, another way to feel his boyfriend’s lips on his skin. But before he could ask for it, he heard Mike’s voice cracking into his hair, reverberating into his ears. “I just wish people knew about us… without all the shit. Without having to… to tell them.”

Feeling tiredness take over, Will nodded simply, tightening his arms around Mike’s waist to let him know he agreed. But upon hearing a sob, Will looked straight up, almost banging his head on Mike’s chin. 

“Because I’m so good with you. I– I wish people knew I was good, Will,” Mike whispered, his voice being lost to the tears. “Then people here wouldn’t just think I was weird. They’d think I was good… because– because you’re the best person in this shithole.”

Will didn’t know what to say, he wished he knew. Opening and closing his mouth, he finally decided to just give him a knowing nod, a sad smile playing on his face. Mike stared back, eyes open and clear, offering Will all the tender parts of himself that he loved so much. 

“We should sleep, shouldn’t we?” Mike laughed, tears glistening in the corners of his eyes. Will shared the laugh and nodded, before finally turning over to turn the lamp off and the room was flung into darkness, the storm raging on outside whilst Will reached out his hands blindly to get to Mike’s face.

He found his lips in the dark, and Will knew Mike was right, they were so good. Kissing Mike, sleeping next to Mike, hugging Mike, talking with Mike, laughing with Mike, all their jokes, the stolen kisses, the small gestures he made, the way he made him feel safe; he felt like he could burst with all the things left unsaid to others about Mike. While he could easily tell him himself, he needed to tell someone else, to share his true nature. 

Will pulled back for one breath, “I’ll tell anyone that you’re a good person. They’ll believe it.”

Chewing on his lip, Mike blinked at him through tears. Maybe it was something about the way that his hands were grazing Will’s jaw or the way his breathing gradually turned from hiccups to big, deep sighs, but Will had never felt more relaxed. A weight had been lifted from his back, finally talking about this. He had been avoiding it for so long, in fact, both of them had, but it seemed all they needed was just to open themselves up. Simple as that.

Mike’s voice came out carefully, “I don’t feel… ready to tell people. I tried though, Will, I really do want to be ready. I’m sorry.”

Will shushed him quietly. “Don’t apologize for that, it’s okay.” Making a tired sound, Mike squeezed him closer, pressing his cheek against the top of Will’s head. Muffled, Will said, “Tell me when you’re ready though, yeah? You can always talk to me. And– and you don’t have to be ready, really, ever . I mean, I don’t wanna pressure you or anything, uh, I know it’s hard to–”

Mike’s hand suddenly stroking his cheek cut him off. “I love you.”

“Ohmygod,” Will quickly whispered. This was real, somehow. “I- I know. I mean, yeah. Love you. Too.”

He heard the cozy sound of Mike’s soft laughter and he knew they were okay.