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There's a movie on Alan Turing, The Imitation Game. Max remembers watching it with Bink, he remembers telling her that this is why he doesn't protest, doesn't cry or whine or storm when their father hits.
Humans find violence deeply satisfying. But remove the satisfaction, and the act becomes... hollow.
It rings through his head when he is pushed into the puddle, it rings through his head when his engine fails in Australia, in Baku, until Christian finds him in motorhome unconscious with blood pooling near his head, sticking to his fingers and he kind of hopes that it's not on the shirt because if he will see it- when he will see it Max will have to be quiet again and take it until he is bored.
That doesn't happen. The pink shirt- because when red meets white, it's pink. When red meets blue it's purple, and he can only think that when the hospital has him drugged. Christian takes him home, Geri hangs the pink shirt on the drying line and next day Sky puts out an article- "Jos Verstappen has been banned from Red Bull Racing Garage."
He doesn't thank Christian, he takes the pink shirt and he goes to Daniel because he doesn't have a home.
He wonders sometimes, what if he cried, what if he screamed and struggled till his father stopped but he knows, he knows that nothing will stop. There were too many people at Val d'Argenton, there was a green eyed boy and he heard Max scream, the sky was furious and god was merciless, it was red when Jos kicked him out on the pavement and it was red when he sat at the gas station, and briefly, it was purple when Pascal stitched him up and Max slept in a boy's lap who wouldn't talk to him.
There is no potential for greatness in his new life, he is old and has a 12 year old. He doesn't hit her like he hit Max because she isn't Max and because Max doesn't matter unless he wins. There's a legend against him, they call him god but he is not, he cannot be. Max has met god and he is merciless and he takes and takes until there is nothing left of him. They call him crazy, they say he killed god. The sky is red and his father hugs him. A prey consumed.
The god is merciless and the sky is red and there is nothing left of Max Verstappen until he kissed him. The green eyed boy who refused to talk to him, the green eyed boy who shouted at his father to stop the car, the green eyed boy who asked his Maman to stitch up a boy bleeding on the pavement. The green eyed boy who kisses him.
The god is merciless and he takes from Max until it leaves him hollow. Max bites his lips until they bleed, until they leave him hollow.
Charles kisses him awake and doesn't stop till he breaks Max's penance. The light dances across their skins, the sky looks blue. Charles kisses him purple and Max thinks of god.
There is a new god but they are all the same anyway. The sky is red, Jos is in his rear view, Charles is first in standings and Max crashes into Charles. It's red when he walks through Rosso Corsa, it's red when he thinks to beg, scream, cry, whine and struggle, anything to keep the purple sky but Charles kisses him like he painted it purple.
Charles kisses him purple after Jos broke the blue, after Charles is second in the standings because Max crashed into him. He laughs with Max and says "You won't get rid of me that easily, Verstappen." and he says it like it doesn't matter that he bleeds into Max, like it doesn't matter that he paints the sky again and again until Max doesn't have to look up to know he is loved forever.
God is merciless and he takes and he takes until there is nothing left of Max Verstappen but Charles smiles at him like he painted the sky purple and he kisses Max till there is nothing blue left. The green eyed boy who shouted at his father because there was red on the pavement, the green eyed boy who let him sleep in his lap, the green eyed boy who kisses him and loves him so much, Max thinks all the red he saw was Charles' smirk that pulls him until there is no beginning, no end.