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“Wait! Right there!” Finn pointed out the window to a single spot available around the corner.
“Isn’t it illegal to park that close to a stop sign?” Ratso questioned even as he pulled the truck around the corner and squeezed into the spot against the sidewalk.
Finn shrugged. “Who cares, worst you’ll get is a ticket.” Finn was pulling off his seatbelt before Ratso was finished parking, practically vibrating in his seat and pulling the sun visor down to mess with his hair in the mirror. Ratso sighed and craned his neck to look at the house across the street.
The music was audible from here, bass heavy and shaking the whole block. About a dozen people were standing in the front yard, caution tape around the edges of the property, and the front doors were open, showing even more people inside. Ratso tapped his leg with two fingers. He wasn’t a party person. He looked back over to Finn. “Hey, would it be cool if I just stayed here?”
Finn looked over at him, one hand messing his hair up so it looked mused and soft. Two strands of hair fell down across his forehead and Ratso tried not to stare. “No way, you’re coming with me. You did my econ homework, so I take you to a party, that was the deal.” Finn looked back at the mirror, finishing with his hair and now picking at invisible imperfections at his skin, adjusting his cut off t-shirt and the gold necklaces around his neck.
Ratso glanced back at the house and bit his lip. “Yeah, I’m just trying to see what I get out of this deal,” he muttered, and Finn shot him a half hearted glare. Ratso glanced around again then pulled down his own visor, brushing his bangs off his forehead and shaking his head to make himself look somewhat presentable. He desperately needed a haircut.
Finn slid closer across the bench seat and brushed some of Ratso’s hair off his forehead, knee pressed against his thigh. Ratso didn’t dare breathe as his fingers fixed his hair with careful concentration.
“It’ll be fun.” Finn said. He finished with Ratso’s hair and sat back and smiled at him. “You look great. Come on.”
Finn climbed out of the truck, slamming the door and Ratso exhaled hard. He took a single, calming breath, begging his heart to stop beating so hard, and got out of the truck.
It was a quick stroll across the street and across the caution tape, Finn stopping to talk to people Ratso’s never seen before in the yard before they made their way inside.
The music was even louder inside, pounding from two large speakers across the room. The whole house was full of people, hot, and bright. Every free hand was holding a red solo cup and there was indistinct yelling from all sides. Ratso blinked hard, trying to take it all in, but Finn turned to grin up at him.
He grabbed Ratso’s wrist and dragged him further into the house. “Come on, let’s get a drink!” He yelled over the music. Ratso stumbled after him, afraid of being left to fend for himself, and followed Finn into the kitchen.
The music was only slightly muffled in the kitchen and there were a few people milling around, drinking and talking. A couple was smoking by the window and beer cans, both opened and unopened, were scattered across the counters. A large plastic tub full of red liquid was sitting on a table in the corner, fruit and candy floating on the top.
Finn dropped his wrist and decided on the large tub of mystery punch, snagging two red solo cups off a stack and dragging them through the punch. He shoved the drink into Ratso’s hands. Finn grinned at him. “Jungle juice.”
Ratso looked down at his drink, dubious. A cranberry floated on the top and he wrinkled his nose, unsure if that was fizz or mold on it. Finn had no such hesitance and threw his head back to gulp his drink down. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and went back for another cup full. Ratso sighed. Viva la vida, right? He picked the cranberry out and tossed it on the floor and downed his drink.
It was sweet and fizzy and didn’t taste like liquor outside of the slight numbness going down. Finn slapped him on the arm, grinning. “You like it?” He asked. Ratso nodded. Finn plucked his cup out of his hand and refilled it before handing it back. “Come on, let’s see what’s going on.” Finn nodded towards the door and Ratso trailed after him, sipping his punch.
It seemed that the majority of the party was concentrated in the front rooms. The house was old, with large square rooms and large entry ways between each room that let the party flow easily around the whole house. Ratso looked over the heads of his peers, spying beer pong to one side, someone doing a keg stand with a sizable crowd chanting for them on another side, and a gaggle of frat boys hitting on some girls in tight skirts on another side.
Finn slapped Ratso on the arm, getting his attention. He pointed excitedly at a group of strangers. “My friends are here, come on!” He grabbed Ratso’s hand and dragged him through the crowd. Stepping up to his friends, Finn dropped Ratso’s hand and Ratso wiped his palm on his jeans, sweating, and took a drink to avoid looking at him, heart racing.
Finn greeted everyone, exchanging hand shakes or shoulder slaps or kisses on the cheek. He turned around and gestured to Ratso. “Ratso, this is everybody, everybody this is my roommate, Ratso.” Ratso nodded with a polite smile and Finn’s friends all welcomed him with,
“Nice to meetcha, man,” or “Good to see ya,” or “What’s up, man?”
Ratso didn't immediately respond, overwhelmed by the music and half a dozen people staring at him, waiting. Finn grinned and slid up to Ratso, putting a hand on his chest and stage whispering to his friends, “He’s shy.”
Ratso sucked in a breath, but Finn was off him in an instant, unaware of what he was doing and how he was making Ratso’s skin burn. Finn looked around.
“Where’s Karen?” He asked. One of his friends nodded across the room and Finn grinned at Ratso. “Back in a sec.” And then he was gone, disappearing into the crowd. Ratso watched him leave, a protest dying on his tongue, and he turned back to look at Finn’s friends. He swallowed.
One of Finn’s friends, a guy with a dark fringe and a nose ring grinned knowingly at him. “He’s kind of a lot.”
Ratso let out a breath and nodded and the guy chuckled. “You’ll get used to it,” he said. Ratso seriously doubted it.
Ratso stayed silent, holding onto his cup as his lifeline and letting the conversation flow around him. A few minutes later, Finn returned with his arm around a blonde girl, laughing at something she said. She was holding onto the hand hanging around her shoulder and Ratso’s heart sank. They were pressed together at the hip, walking together like they did that often and Ratso downed the last of his drink. Of course. He didn’t get the chance to escape before Finn was looking at him and gesturing to the girl, Karen.
“Karen, this is my roommate I was telling you about.”
Karen raised one manicured nail at him and smiled. “Oh right, Ratso, right?”
He nodded, mouth dry. She held out her hand to shake and Ratso took it, trying not to think about how soft her hands were or the fact that Finn was whispering something in her ear, his mouth right against the side of her head, grinning. She slapped him on the stomach and hissed, “shut up!” with a grin on her face.
He was gonna be sick. Ratso raised his cup, edging away from them. “I’m gonna…” he trailed off, but Finn noticed him leaving. Finn handed him his own half empty cup.
“Oh! Here, take this. Fill me up.” He winked at him. Ratso nodded, face burning, and turned and fled.
Once back in the kitchen he dropped their cups on the table and sighed, watching the fruit swirl across the top of the punch. Of course. Of course he has a girlfriend. Finn was…Finn. He was over the top, and loud, and extroverted, and…fuck. Ratso dragged his cup through the punch and downed it all, going back for more and drinking that too.
Ratso pressed a hand to his forehead. God, of course he had a girlfriend. Finn had never mentioned having a girlfriend, but he was also the type of person to not mention anything unless it was pertinent to the conversation. It had slipped under his radar and Ratso had gotten his hopes up. He thought maybe because of the things Finn said, the jokes he made, that maybe he wasn’t straight.
Ratso was such an idiot.
A few people entered the kitchen and Ratso moved off of the punch, leaning against the wall and trying to breathe. He should leave. He should go back to his dorm and sleep off the embarrassment of having a crush on his roommate. Finn could get a ride with one of his friends. Unless they didn’t have a car, like most of the students here.
Ratso bit his lip. If he left now then Finn would be bugging him about it tomorrow. Or worse, follow him back to the dorm because he’s worried, because he’s nice enough to leave a party with his friends to check on his roommate.
Fuck. Ratso shook his head, sighing. This wasn’t the end of the world, he needed to get a grip of himself. It was fine. He was fine.
Ratso took a few minutes to collect himself before he refilled their cups and reentered the party.
Finn’s friend group had moved to the corner of one room and commandeered the couches there, a few new faces hanging around and talking. Finn was perched on the arm of one couch, leaning over Karen and another friend, who were pressed together and listening to whatever story Finn was telling.
When Ratso approached Finn looked up and smiled at him, wide and genuine. “Oh, there you are!” He took his cup then snagged Ratso’s wrist and pulled him closer, standing over him as Finn turned back to his friends. “Like I was saying,” he got back into his story and Ratso took a sip of his drink.
Ratso wasn’t a huge drinker in high school, and the four drinks were starting to hit him, making his head fuzzy. He swayed on his feet and glanced around for somewhere to sit. He snagged a nearby wooden chair and pulled it up, sitting down. Finn only glanced back at him, patting him once on the leg before getting back to what he was saying.
“Hey.”
Ratso looked over. One of Finn’s friends was spread across an armchair nearby. He jerked his head and Ratso turned towards him.
“I think you’re in my calc class,” he said.
Ratso blinked at him. “Oh.” All of those STEM requirement classes were full to the brim with hundreds of students, it wouldn’t be a surprise if they shared a class. Ratso didn’t recognize him and the guy laughed, pushing sandy blonde hair out of his eyes.
“Yeah, you are, you sit near the front, right?” Ratso nodded and the guy stuck out his hand.
“Here. Dustin.”
He shook his hand. “Ratso.”
“Ratso? Yeah, like uh, uh," He snapped a few times before pointing at him with a triumphant smile. "Like Midnight Cowboy!"
Ratso blinked rapidly, frowning as he tried to think of what that was. "That a movie?"
Dustin grinned wide. "Yeah, a movie."
He had a nice smile, and Ratso relaxed slightly, chest light. Ratso shook his head and smiled to himself as he took a long drink of his juice. "Never heard of it."
Dustin kept smiling at him. "You should watch it, it's a classic."
Ratso only hummed, giving him a disbelieving look as he sipped his drink again.
Dustin laughed again and Ratso smiled into his drink. He had a nice laugh too, hardy and real. Dustin sat forward in his seat. “What’s your major?”
Ratso swallowed and brought his cup down to hold between his knees. “Theoretical physics.”
Dustin blinked, surprised, then barked out another laugh. “Damn! And here I thought I was the smart one, majoring in robotics.”
Hands landed on Ratso’s shoulders and he jumped. Finn leaned over his shoulder, grinning at Dustin. “Are you talking about brainiac here? He’s a genius.” That got the attention of a few people and Ratso baulked under their attention.
“Oh, that’s not—”
“Don’t even try to say you’re not smart, I’m not gonna believe you.” Finn cut him off, sliding off the couch arm to stand next to him, one arm across his shoulders. He turned his attention to Dustin. “He’s on a full ride. 5.0 gpa in high school.” Finn laughed. “I didn’t even know that was possible!” Dustin nodded, impressed, but Ratso waved a hand at Finn.
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Not that big of a deal.” Finn scoffed. He looked at Ratso. “Did you tell him about that engineering test?” Finn turned back to Dustin before he could respond. “He studied all night. Eighty–eight, before curve. Class average of, what was it, thirty percent?”
“It was forty.”
“See!” Finn grinned, before digging a knuckle into Ratso’s temple, who flushed at the touch, skin tingling and heart skipping in his chest. “Genius.”
Dustin laughed, shaking his head. “Dude, why aren’t you in like, Yale or some shit?”
Ratso shook his head. “Wasn’t accepted.” He took another swig of his drink. He should really stop drinking but it tasted so good.
Dustin looked shocked. “You weren’t accepted? How were you not accepted?”
Ratso shook his head again. He had somewhat gotten over the sting of being rejected from every Ivy League school, but it still made him wonder. He spent all of high school prepping for college, he did everything he was supposed to, and it still wasn’t enough. He was told if he studied enough, did his community service, and stayed out of trouble that he could get into any school he wanted. That was a big fat lie.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said.
“You know, you could probably transfer next year, if your grades are good.” Dustin said.
Ratso sat back in his seat, swirling his punch. He glanced up at Finn, who had stopped paying attention and was talking to someone else, smile easy on his lips, one hand still resting on Ratso’s shoulder.
“I dunno,” Ratso murmured. “I think I like it here.”
Finn was waving his cup around, gesticulating with whatever it was he was saying, Ratso wasn’t listening. Instead he was watching him, watching the way his bracelets twisted on his pale wrist, beads shining in the light, and watching his long fingers wrapped around his red solo cup, pink nail polish chipped.
Finn looked at him and Ratso raised his eyes, looking up at him. His auburn hair was falling across his forehead again and he pushed it back. When Ratso looked at him he smiled.
He was gorgeous.
And Ratso was such an idiot.
Finn grabbed his hand, grinning in his face. “Come on, let’s play beer pong.” Ratso let him pull him to his feet, let him lead him across the house, and let him maneuver him around the last players hovering around the ping pong table. Finn dropped his hand and pulled up his pants, shaking his hair out and pushing it back again.
Ratso was having a hard time focusing.
Finn caught him staring and laughed. He grabbed the cup in Ratso’s hand and finished it, throwing it aside. “Come on, we’re up.”
Ratso blinked. Right.
He turned towards the table, where someone had set up ten fresh cups, half full of beer. Finn pressed a ping pong ball into his hand and Ratso narrowed his eyes, thinking. Their opponents, some frat boys Ratso had never met, were both swaying, giggling and pink in the face. They had already played and won a few times it seemed.
Ratso tossed the ball and it landed in one cup and everyone watching cheered, barely audible over the music.
The other team raised a ball and lined it up, closing one eye to concentrate and tossed it. It landed in a cup and the crowd cheered again. It didn’t look like it mattered who won to them.
Finn pressed the cup into Ratso’s hand, grinning up at him and swaying into him. “This is yours,” he said. Ratso held it for a moment before passing it back to Finn. He was already drunk, he needed to sober up.
“I gotta drive us home, man!” He yelled over the music. Finn shrugged and threw the drink back. He crushed the cup in his hand and threw it on the ground, laughing and shaking his head.
“More for me then!” Finn turned back to the game, preparing for his turn.
The game went on, back and forth of landing and missing their shots. Both teams whittled through their drinks, their opponents getting more unbalanced and Finn getting more excitable with every drink.
Finally, they were down to their last cup. Their opponents needed to get three more cups, Finn and Ratso, just one. Finn was bouncing on his feet, leaning against Ratso’s side as he lined up his shot. “Come on, you got it, you got it," he whispered. It was supposed to be encouraging but it was not helping. Not that Ratso minded. Focus. Ratso tossed the ball. It landed and splashed in the cup.
Everyone around them cheered, but Ratso didn’t hear them, didn’t see anything except Finn. Finn jumped into his arms—Ratso holding onto him on instinct— and wrapped his arms around Ratso’s neck and cheered in his ear. Ratso grinned, spinning him around before placing him back down. Finn pulled back and laughed hard, slapping him on the arms and shoulders and jumping up and down. “We won, we won!” He yelled. Ratso laughed, cheeks aching from how hard he was grinning.
“Yeah, yeah, we won.”
Finn wouldn’t stop smiling, grabbing their left over beers and downing them all. He tossed the empty cups on the floor and laughed, jumping up and down. He stumbled, falling into Ratso’s chest with a loud, “woah!”
Ratso grabbed him, holding him steady, and Finn giggled. He was really drunk. Finn looked up at him, eyes wide, before looking around and trying to drag Ratso across the room, barely able to walk. “Ratso! Let's go to the keg stand, I bet I can do the keg stand! Hold my legs!” He slipped out of Ratso’s grip and stumbled, almost falling on his face.
“Woah!” Ratso shot forward to grab his arms before he fell, pulling him back up. Finn laughed and tilted his head back to look up at Ratso, his face pink and eyes bright green. Ratso’s breath caught in his throat. Finn grinned at him.
“I wanna do a keg stand,” he said. Ratso chuckled, shaking his head.
“I think you’ve had enough.” Finn stuck his bottom lip out in a pout but Ratso would not be swayed. He jerked his chin towards the sitting area. “Let’s go sit down, talk to your friends.” And your girlfriend.
Ratso swallowed. “Come on.”
He guided Finn back through the crowds, one arm around his shoulder and Finn with one arm around his waist. When they approached Finn pointed to himself. “Karen!” He called, getting the girl’s attention. “We won!”
Karen, who was sitting on another guy’s lap, smiled at him. “How’d that happen?”
Ratso frowned, Finn either didn’t notice that his girlfriend was sitting on a guy’s lap or didn’t care. They stopped in front of Karen and she glanced at Ratso’s arm around Finn’s shoulders and looked up at him, eyes piercing. Ratso dropped his arm like he’d been burned.
Finn left Ratso standing and collapsed on the couch next to Karen and the guy, grinning at her. “Because I’m the greatest beer pong player of all time. Obviously.”
Karen smiled indulgently. “Obviously.”
Finn waved a hand at Ratso. “And because Ratso’s really good.” He sat up and grabbed Ratso’s hand, dragging him down beside him on the couch. “Sit.”
Ratso fell into the cushions, one arm falling over the top of the couch. Finn leaned his head back against his arm before he could move. Shit. Ratso avoided Karen’s gaze, avoiding looking at Finn as well.
Finn sighed and looked at Ratso. “That was fun.” There was a smile evident in his voice.
Ratso didn’t look at him, Finn moving in his peripheral. “Mhm.”
Finn looked the other way. “Oh what’s up man, I’m Finn.” Ratso glanced over to see him shaking hands with the guy Karen was snuggled up against. He frowned. Finn didn’t even know the guy and he was cool with Karen cuddling up on him?
“Nick.” They exchanged some pleasantries before Nick asked, “So, how you know Karen, man?”
Finn exhaled. “How do I know Karen? Hm, I’d say biblically was probably my favorite, what do you think?”
Ratso’s head snapped up, turning to stare. Karen glared at Finn and pinched him hard on the arm, making him yelp. “Don’t ruin my night, dude,” she said, but Nick stroked her sides with a lazy grin.
“Hey, that doesn’t bother me at all,” he said.
Karen sighed and looked at Nick, pushing his dark hair back. “We dated in high school,” she said by way of explanation.
“Wait, so you’re not dating anymore?” Ratso blurted out, regretting it immediately as everyone turned to look at him. He could feel heat rising to his face and Karen stared at him, brows drawn together slightly, but Finn just laughed.
“No man. You don’t think I’d tell you if I had a girlfriend?”
Ratso blinked at him. “I…I dunno,” he murmured. Finn stared at him for a beat before he shook his head and stood up, swaying on his feet.
“I need to piss. I’ll be back.”
“Don’t fall in,” Karen said.
“Oh, you’re hilarious,” Finn said, climbing over Nick’s legs and stumbling around the corner, out of the room.
Ratso watched him leave, and sighed. When he looked back to the couch, Karen and Nick were both staring at him. Ratso swallowed hard. He didn’t like that predatory look in Karen’s eye.
He crossed his legs, self conscious.
“So,” she said slowly, eying him up. “Roommate. Are you having fun?”
Nick looked confused. “Roommate?” Karen shot him a look and his eyebrows flew up. “Oh. Roommate.”
Ratso looked between them, unsure of what he was missing. He swallowed. “Um…” He glanced at the doorway, begging Finn to hurry up. “Yeah, I guess, yeah this is fun.”
Karen hummed, nodding along as if he’d said something deep and philosophical. “Finn’s told me a lot about you.” She said. Ratso’s eyebrows shot up.
“Really?”
She hummed again.
Ratso shouldn’t say anything, not until Finn comes back. He should shut up. He should stop embarrassing himself.
“What’d he say?” He asked.
Karen grinned, sliding off Nick’s lap to sit next to him on the couch. She put a hand on Ratso’s arm and he suppressed the urge to pull back. Karen walked her fingers up his bare arm, watching him under large, fake lashes. “He said you were smart. And he said that you were quiet, but you’re nice once you come out of your shell.” She leaned in close and Ratso pulled back. She whispered, “He also said you were straight, but I don’t really believe that.”
Ratso’s breath caught in his throat. He watched Karen with wide eyes as she dragged her hand up his bicep and across his chest, settling her palm over his heart. His heart was beating a rapid pace in his chest and Karen smiled at him.
Karen stared into his eyes, and Ratso couldn’t look away. Every breath was shallow against her palm and Ratso resisted the urge to shrink into the couch. “I don’t like blondes,” he breathed out and Karen tilted her head, smiling at him.
“What do you like then?” Her brown eyes were hypnotizing, urging the truth out of him.
Maybe it was her, or maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe he was just tired of keeping it to himself.
“Red heads,” he whispered.
Karen grinned triumphantly. “I knew it.” She pulled back, breaking eye contact and taking her hands off of him.
Ratso blinked, coming back to himself. Shit.
“Wait, please don’t—”
“Tell him?” Karen arched a brow, climbing back onto Nick’s lap. He swallowed and nodded and Karen chuckled. “Oh I don’t need to tell him. It’s painfully obvious.”
Ratso didn’t get a chance to respond before he noticed Finn walking back towards them. Okay, walking might be a bit generous. He was stumbling over his own feet, messing with the front of his ripped skinny jeans. Karen followed his gaze and gave Ratso a wolfish grin. “You know, there was one other thing he told me about you.” Ratso blinked at her, glancing between her and Finn who was seconds away from reentering the conversation.
“Um…”
“Ugh! Why did I wear skinny jeans?! They’re so hard to put on.” Ratso jumped at Finn’s voice. Finn was still messing with the button on his pants and Ratso swallowed hard, glancing away, his face burning.
Karen grinned. “It’s because you look great in them.” She slapped him hard on the ass and Finn shot her a half hearted glare, which melted into a smile almost immediately.
“Well I’m not arguing with you there,” he said, falling back into his same spot on the couch.
Ratso glanced between Finn and Karen, stomach cramping with nerves. Karen caught his gaze and smiled at him. Oh no.
“He said you were completely oblivious.”
“What?” Finn and Ratso said at the same time. Finn’s head snapped to look at Karen before swinging around to look at Ratso, his eyes wide. He looked between them a few times.
“What are you talking about?” There was an edge to Finn’s voice, he sounded more sober than he had all night. He looked at Ratso and Ratso stared at him.
That…nervousness in his eyes…
Ratso shook his head. “Nothing important,” he murmured and Finn relaxed a touch.
“Oh, okay.” He relaxed back into the couch and Ratso watched him, really taking him in fully for the first time all evening.
It wasn't often Finn dropped the jokes and sexual innuendos to have a real, meaningful conversation with him. Even in their shared dorm room Finn was often spouting off jokes and deflections, keeping conversation light while Ratso was buried deep in a textbook or stressing about his Thermal Dynamics homework. It was only in the rare, late hours of all-nighters, sky outside grey and lightening by the second, that Finn would drop the act and tell him about what was bothering him, voice slightly rough as he confessed to being embarrassed for flunking that test he studied hard for or that no one wanted to cast him in the good roles in the theater productions because he was the class clown.
"I can act," he whispered to his knees, not looking at Ratso, who watched from across the room on his own bed. "I'm really good, I'm really fucking good Ratso. They'll see, they'll all fuckin' see."
Ratso watched him now, the way Finn's lips pulled tight on the corners, a shadow of a fake smile. His ears were red, and there was a slight tension to his jaw. He leaned to the side and whispered to Karen, low enough that Ratso knew he wasn't supposed to hear, but Ratso couldn't convince himself to ignore them.
"What did you say to him?"
"Nothing," Karen whispered back, heads tilted together. "Just take a chill pill, it's not a big deal."
"Karen, I swear to God…"
"I didn't say anything." Karen glanced over Finn's shoulder, catching Ratso's eye. Ratso froze, and the corner of Karen's eyes crinkled, her lips twitching as she suppressed a smile.
Ratso looked away, staring into space and begging his heart to stop pounding in his chest, begging the heat under his skin to dissipate before Finn noticed.
"Just relax. He seems cool," Karen whispered and Ratso felt more than heard Finn sigh and flop back against the couch, shoulders pressed together.
Ratso held his hands together on his lap, uncrossing his legs and dropping them to between his knees, fiddling with his fingers. There wasn't enough space on the couch for them to not be touching, but Ratso was trying hard not to think about the heat of Finn's thigh pressed against his own.
He shouldn't get his hopes up again, right? That was stupid, there was no reason for him to be jumping to conclusions, this was Finn. Finn was friendly and flirty with everyone, that was his whole thing. It didn't mean anything.
It didn't mean anything…
Ratso didn't say anything for a long time, lost in thought, letting the sounds of the party and conversation wash over him without listening to any of it.
A hand landed on his knee and Ratso startled, looking up.
Finn looked back at him, a small, teasing smile on his lips. His expression was relaxed and friendly again, and Ratso relaxed his shoulders, not even realizing how tense he had been.
"You're so jumpy," Finn teased. He slapped Ratso's knee again and gestured for him to stand. "Come on big boy, it's so loud I'm getting a headache. Let's go upstairs."
Ratso flushed all over again, waiting for Finn to sway to his feet before he followed him up as well. "Upstairs…?"
Maybe Ratso had just seen too many movies, but upstairs usually meant…
Finn flashed him a smirk, winking at him, as if he knew exactly what he was thinking, and Ratso swallowed around the sudden dryness in his mouth and throat. Finn lightly slapped him on the arm. "Get your head out of the gutter, pervert, we're just gonna smoke."
Finn turned away before Ratso could respond, climbing over legs and knees again, and Ratso pressed his lips together, nodding once.
He spared one last glance at Karen, who winked at him and made a kissy face, before following Finn out of the room.
They rounded thick wooden beams, weaving between groups of people talking and drinking and making out, before making it to the stairs, wide and wooden, and also covered in solo cups and drunk people sitting and talking.
A pack of water bottles was sitting next to the steps, plastic ripped open haphazardly and bottles missing, and Ratso snagged one as Finn led him up the steps.
Finn took him to one of the bedrooms, door half open, and inside two people were sitting near an open window, a lumpy futon situated under the window and a pair of bean bags chairs facing the couch. The room stunk of weed and the two people looked up as they entered, one on the right side of the couch, the other on a bean bag chair.
Finn glanced back at him, sparing him only a small look before he grabbed his hand again and pulled him to the couch, pulling him down to sit together, legs pressed against each other again. Finn nodded at the girl on the couch, joint in hand. He handed her a beer can (when did he get that?) with a quiet, "Trade ya."
They traded their items and Finn brought the joint to his lips, taking a drag before pulling it away and breathing deep, exhaling fragrant smoke. Finn hadn't let go of Ratso's hand and Ratso didn't move, not wanting to remind him of it and have him pull away.
Finn's hands were significantly smaller than his own, fingers narrow but long. Ratso could feel the brush of the calluses on his fingertips from playing guitar, and their palms were slightly sweaty.
Finn raised the joint to Ratso's face, urging him to smoke, but Ratso shook his head, pushing it away gently with his free hand which still held the unopened water bottle. "I have to drive, remember?"
"Right, right," Finn muttered.
His hand shifted in his own, but instead of pulling away, he only tightened his grip and pulled Ratso's hand onto his thigh. He squeezed his hand and Ratso hesitated before squeezing back. Finn smiled at him and took another drag.
Ratso returned the small smile and shifted his water bottle, holding it between his knees while he twisted the cap off before bringing it up and taking a long drink. His head was starting to hurt behind his temples, the tipsiness of earlier wearing off faster than he expected.
Upstairs, the music and party was much quieter, a dull roar in the background, most of the sound coming from the open window, where Ratso could hear people out on the yard whooping and cheering and screaming at each other. He glanced out the window, spying six guys playing corn hole, yard lit up by two large work lights on yellow stands. The sky was black with no stars. Ratso frowned. How long had they been there? The sun was still setting when they arrived.
Ratso wanted to check his watch, but Finn was still holding his hand, so he shook the thought away. It didn't matter.
They stayed there, Finn occasionally talking quietly with the other two people, for a long time. Until the breeze coming through the window raised goosebumps on Ratso's skin and the other two left, murmuring goodbyes to Finn before closing the door and leaving them alone.
Finn finished the joint, grinding the roach into an ashtray on the side table next to the futon, and leaned back on the futon. He dropped his head on the back and stared at the ceiling. Ratso was just about to ask him what he was thinking when he started giggling, eyes glassy and smile wide.
Ratso raised one brow. He glanced at the ceiling but there was nothing there. "What's so funny?"
Finn turned to look at him, head bobbing and swaying slightly. He giggled again. "You look weird." He tried to raise the hand holding Ratso's then stopped, looking down at their laced fingers. "Wooaahh," he said. He pulled his hand again and this time Ratso went with him, letting him raise their hands to the space between them. Finn adjusted his grip, tapping his fingers against the back of Ratso's hand and pressing their palms together.
"You're holding my hand," Finn said slowly, words slurred and sounding both confused and awed.
Ratso gave him a small, suppressed smile. His chest felt tight seeing that happy look on Finn's face. Ratso squeezed his fingers and Finn's eyes lit up, seeming even more excited. "Technically you're holding mine," he mused.
Finn looked him in the eye and Ratso grinned. Finn licked his lips and Ratso's eyes followed the movement, dragging back up to Finn's eyes before he could get any ideas. Finn hummed and leaned towards him, slowly lowering their hands and dropping his forehead against Ratso's shoulder.
Ratso inhaled sharply.
"Why don't you want to hold my hand?" Finn whined, said just as slowly as before.
Ratso chuckled. "You've never asked me to."
A long pause, and then Finn said, "Oh."
Ratso shook his head, chuckling quietly.
Finn didn't say anything else, not moving from his spot on Ratso's shoulder. Ratso didn't move him, watching his shoulders and back rise and fall as he breathed, and enjoyed the moment. This close he could smell Finn's shampoo, smelling like coconut, light and fresh.
When several minutes passed and Finn still hadn't moved, Ratso shifted his shoulder, wondering if he had fallen asleep. "Finn?" He murmured.
Finn groaned, shifting to lay his cheek on Ratso's shoulder and exhale hot air against the side of his neck.
Ratso stiffened, mind in the gutter (damnit) immediately. Ratso, gently as possible, pulled his hand away from Finn's and grabbed his shoulders, pushing him off him and more upright.
Finn swayed slightly, head rolling, before he remembered how to hold his head up and did so, rubbing his eyes and yawning.
Ratso swallowed, snagging his water bottle and finishing it off. His mind was clear, or as clear as it was going to get with his slight headache and the phantom sensation of Finn touching him.
"Come on," he said. "Let's go home."
Finn was wasted but Ratso doubted he'd want to spend the night on some frat guy's futon regardless.
Finn yawned again and nodded slowly.
Ratso stood up and took both of Finn's hands to drag him to his feet as well. Finn stumbled slightly and leaned into him, and Ratso just slid his arm around Finn's shoulders, guiding him towards the door.
Finn clumsily slapped around Ratso's lower back before sliding around his waist again, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his side and holding on. Ratso blinked hard and took a deep breath before focusing on getting them back home.
Getting Finn down the stairs was a bit of an event, nearly having to carry him with how much he was sliding and stumbling down the steps, but they got down without breaking anything, and Ratso counted that as a win.
The party was starting to die down it seemed, music lowered and crowds thinned out. Some people were still playing beer pong, but the general energy was much more suppressed, most people still left leaning against walls or sitting huddled on couches or strewn across chairs and tables.
Ratso spared a glance back to where Finn's friends had been sitting, but Karen and Nick were gone, a new group having replaced them. He spied Dustin in a far corner, who raised a hand at them in goodbye. Ratso nodded at him and led Finn out the door.
The night air was cool and calming, and Ratso led Finn down the steps and across the yard. Finn's steps were slightly more confident on the concrete, but still wobbly, and Ratso didn't dare let go of him, scared of him face planting the second he left him to stand on his own. Finn muttered something, Ratso just barely catching his own name. Ratso lowered his head slightly.
"What?"
Finn shook his head and kept muttering and Ratso shrugged and kept going.
Once back to his truck, Ratso fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door, urging Finn to climb inside.
"There you go, up, up, yup there you go."
Finn sat upright, head bobbing in circles before he dropped it back against the headrest. "Manhandling me," he muttered.
Ratso ignored him, snagging the seat belt and buckling him in.
Finn turned to look at him, blinking slowly before he smiled, crooked and genuine. "You like manhandling me, Ratso?"
Ratso avoided his gaze, clearing his throat and adjusting the seat belt across Finn's chest. "Let's just try to get home before you pass out."
Finn hummed. "You didn't answer my question."
And he wasn't going to. Ratso made sure he wasn't going to fall over, then closed the door and circled to the driver's side, yanking the door open and climbing inside.
Ratso could feel Finn's eyes on him in the dark as he got his seat belt on and started the truck, engine grumbling and roaring to life, the whole cabin humming and trembling with it, the way all of these old trucks did.
Ratso continued to ignore Finn as he backed them out of their spot and got onto the road, driving slower than usual so hopefully Finn wouldn't hurl.
They left the party behind, driving back towards campus, the roads empty and dark.
"Ratso."
Ratso hummed, not taking his eyes off the road.
"You're a good friend."
Ratso smiled tightly. The light ahead of them turned orange, then red and they rolled to a stop, waiting.
"You're a really good friend…like you a lot, y'know." Out of the corner of his eye, Ratso saw Finn unbuckle his seat belt and slide closer.
"What are you—" Ratso turned his head just as Finn craned up to kiss him, lips pressing together, sloppy and off center and noses bumping together. Ratso's eyebrows shot up and Finn pulled back, giving him a goofy smile.
"Oops," he said, not sounding at all sorry. "I was…aiming for the cheek."
Ratso blinked rapidly, blood rushing in his ears. His eyes darted across Finn's face, his eyes, still glassy and obviously drunk, his cheeks flushed pink, his lips parted as he breathed.
He shouldn't, Finn was really drunk…
Luckily, Finn made the decision for him. He leaned forward again, eyes dropping down to Ratso's lips, and kissed him again, a little too hard, their teeth clashing. Ratso didn't mind, letting their lips slide together for a moment before pulling away.
Finn blinked slowly. He licked his lips, and out the windshield the light turned green. There was no one behind them, so Ratso didn't move, truck idling in place.
Finn hummed quietly before shuffling closer to Ratso and leaning his head on his shoulder. His shoulders rose and fell as he sighed contently. "Been wanting to do that…for a while."
Ratso licked his lips, chasing the lingering taste of Finn's lips, the slightly grassy flavor of weed, and looked forward again. "Yeah," he muttered. "Me too."
He released the break and pressed the gas, crawling through the intersection.
The city was quiet and calm at such a late hour, driving slow on winding roads, and by the time they parked outside the dorms Finn was fast asleep, breathing steady against his shoulder.
Ratso looked down at him. He doubted he'd remember this in the morning, but Ratso hoped he would. Otherwise he might be left explaining this all by himself, and Ratso didn't know if he had the guts for that.
Either way, it was a problem for tomorrow.
For now, Ratso leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Finn's head. He closed his eyes and breathed him in.
His inevitable freak out could wait for tomorrow. For now, he could enjoy this.