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Roderich sighed, toeing off his shoes and sliding off his coat. After setting his coat on the coat rack and setting his shoes on the shoe rack, he walked with too much pressure in each step into the main room, collapsing with too much force onto the velvet stool in front of the piano. He sighed, shutting his eyes, adjusting the glasses that had slipped down the bridge of his nose when he sat down back up.
He played a song, hitting the keys hardly, venting his lingering frustration from the world meeting into the music. Nothing there had particularly upset him, just the nature of world meetings was enough to cause one’s blood to boil. It was simply infuriating seeing everyone fighting without being able to get a single word in. The entire affair was exhausting but held a quality able to rile up even his usual calm demeanor. More frustrating was the aftermath of still feeling a want to argue, but nothing to say and no energy to do so. He resolved to calming down playing the piano after each, not hard enough to bleed his fingers, though in some instances when he’d been particularly angry, they had, though never from a world meeting.
After a while, calmer, he opened his eyes again, spotting Gilbert from the corner of his vision, who must have stalked him from the door without him noticing in his state of anger. He’d grown accustomed to the occurrence, Gilbert would ask him after every meeting to tell him what happened, he’d asked him one time why he didn’t ask Ludwig instead, to which he received a complaint or rather rant where he informed that he was too serious and never told him the ‘interesting parts’.
He explained the occurrences as he continued to play, more relaxed, not focusing too much on the technique. His ramblings moving nonlinearly, jumping from point to point whenever he recalled something Gilbert would deem worth mentioning that he had forgotten, he responded with hums of acknowledgment and monosyllabic affirmative words. A sneaking glance revealed his expression to be a somber, longing smile. He grew distressed at the sight, not knowing how to proceed, he wanted to help, though thought better of approaching the issue directly. It reminded him of Italy’s depressed state when his beloved Holy Rome had left, he recalled how he’d attempted to comfort the young what he’d though to be a girl at the time with the gentle song of the piano, which relaxed him enough into talking about his feelings with Hungary.
With a soft exhale, he figured it was worth trying, Gilbert was already listening to him play anyway, so as the song came to an end, he started the next one, played gracefully and delicately, the same he’d played for Italy all those years ago.
“I wish I could go to a world meeting.” Prussia spoke a beat after he’d finished recounting the events in a quieter than usual voice. Austria hummed.
“Go for me, I despise them.” He scoffed.
“Like that would work.” Prussia retorted.
“I can’t see why not, I’m not that important, and you listen to what happens at world meetings from what I tell you, right? I honestly think your brother’s the only one who takes it seriously.” Austria reasoned.
“I guess, would you do that though?”
“Gladly.” He affirmed.
“I don’t know if anyone there would accept it though, I mean, I’m not a nation anymore after all.” He trailed off carrying a tension in his voice like a singer with a note too high, as if the words physically stung to say.
“I don’t think anyone would care.” Roderich spoke, realizing that the words could be interpreted negatively, he thought for a moment before speaking again. “In a negative way I mean, you get along fine with mostly everyone, your friends would probably appreciate your presence there, and nothing gets done, so I doubt anyone would object.” He watched him nod after a few seconds out of the corner of his eye.
“I miss being a nation.” He said unprompted in a breathy exhale almost whispered.
Ah.
Austria hummed again. “I mean, it’s not like I can live as a human without people noticing my immortality, but there’s no work so I’m bored all the time.”
“You could run jointly with Ludwig like the Italy brothers, you do a lot of his paperwork anyway.” He suggested.
“Just to help out. They’re different, they each represent half of the nation, I represent nothing.” He gestured to himself, smiling sardonically. “Isn’t it ironic, I wanted to prove I was better than you by excluding you when I unified Germany, but in the end, you’re the one who ended up winning.” Gilbert laughed humorlessly.
Roderich’s fingers slipped, missing a key at the statement before recovering. “Do you regret it?” He asked carefully keeping his discomfort from his voice, trying to swallow the knot in his throat.
“I don’t know.” The answer somewhat shocked Austria, he had expected him to back his decision and boast of how ‘The awesome Prussia has no regrets!’ but he didn’t. “I mean, I’m really happy for Ludwig, if it was just my status I would’ve easily said no, but I can’t say that I don’t with certainty because I don’t know if it was worth everyone else.” He stated. “Bavaria, Saxony, Hesse, Brandenburg, Holstein.” He listed on his fingers, going silent for a moment of reflection. “But if you meant if I regret ostracizing you, definitely not.” He said with the grim tone changing to a vigor that held an undertone of melancholy. “I don’t think you’d be alive then, and I certainly never wanted you to die, even if I hated you back then. And even if you didn’t, I’d still rather have beaten you in a proper battle, I’m not low enough to simply want to drag you down to my level.” He said, taking on a defensive edge, still clinging to the honor of battle that meant nothing in modern day.
“You’re not-" Austria started, pursing his lips, searching for words to say ‘You’re not low for not being a nation’ without sounding patronizing, not getting the chance to.
“It was in Italy, right?” Prussia suddenly changed the topic.
“What?” He asked for elaboration, lost on what he meant by the question.
“The meeting.” He clarified, Austria had forgotten that the meeting was initially the topic of conversation.
“Mmm, yes?” He answered, accepting the not at all disguised attempt to redirect the conversation to something lighter. He didn’t particularly mind the dodging of the subject, Gilbert had said enough for him to get a general idea, and if that was all he was willing to share, that was fine with him.
“Was the weather nice there?”
“I guess, it’s a typical summer there.”
“Did you visit the beach?”
“No.”
“I’ve been wanting to go to a beach in Italy.” He said with a glimmer in his eye.
“Why don’t you? You don’t have any delegations tying you here as you said.”
“Sun.” He answered with the single word. Austria was confused by the answer before remembering the time Prussia talked to him about how sunlight affected him especially negatively because of his albinism. “It’s so annoying worrying about stuff like that.”
“The temperature’s nearly the same at night, if we leave now, it will be dark when we get there, that works, right?” He asked, lifting his hands from the keyboard, turning to face Gilbert, who wore a puzzled expression.
“Right now? You just got back, aren’t you usually exhausted after world meetings?” He reminded.
Austria shrugged, “I don’t see why not, unless you’ve something better to do?” He proposed.
“I mean, I guess.” He responded hesitantly.
“Let’s go then.” Roderich said, standing.
Prussia shrugged his light zip up jacket kept on the coat hanger on, sliding on a pair of already tied shoes, Roderich doing the same with the coat and shoes he’d just removed. Gilbert took the keys hanging from a hook on the wall, locking the door behind them as they left the house.
“Do you want to drive?” Prussia asked, holding the car keys up.
“No.” He declined. Prussia nodded, opening the door to the driver’s seat, Roderich following with the passenger’s. He rolled down the car windows as Prussia toyed with the knobs on the dashboard, setting the radio to a heavy rock station, turning up the volume to make up for the muffled sound from the wind coming through the open windows.
“Sorry, I can change it, you aren’t into this kind of music, yeah?” Prussia spoke loudly as to be heard over the noise, noticing Austria’s eyes focused outside, appearing disinterested.
He shook his head. “It’s not a genre I prefer, but I don’t mind, you can play whatever you want on the way there if I can play what I want to on the way back.” Prussia nodded in agreement.
“Someone like you tolerating rock feels strange.” He mused.
“I was always quick to accept new genres of music as they evolved and began throughout history, I can’t see why it would be strange that I can find the artistry in different kinds of modern music too.” He challenged.
“Yeah, but Beethoven going from classical to romantic is a bit different from classical to rock.”
“I guess.”
He turned his focus back to the sight of the setting sun, oranges in the low sky painting the buildings with tints of the colors as it reached them. The painting like scenery gave the impression of a hazy warmth, matching the wind hitting his face from the speed of the car, tossing his hair, in the hot weather, it was a warm breeze. Prussia sang along passionately to the song already playing loudly enough that the rhythm of the music was able to be felt through the armrest from the vibrations of the stereo. His singing didn’t sound casual like one typically sang in a car but like a performer at a concert that made your heart race and required ear plugs lest you were trying to bleed from them. It was rather endearing, though he guessed it would seem incredibly obnoxious to anyone walking or driving past, which made him want to shrink away from the attention, embarrassed by his company.
Roderich felt more comfortable as they drove onto an empty stretch of highway, the song playing at that moment was popular enough that he’d picked up the lyrics from purely exposure. He cleared his throat, singing along in a much quieter reserved voice than Gilbert was. He saw the way his eyes lit up as he did, the most of a smile as one could muster while screaming out a rock song gracing his features.
“You have a really girly voice.” He said when the song finished. Roderich huffed and rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean it in a bad way, it sounds nice, really high falsetto notes sound sick in rock.” He said in attempt to placate him.
“Very well, you can talk to me while you’re looking at the road too.” He reminded, gesturing to the front window.
“Calm down, there’s no one here.” He chided his concern.
“That doesn’t change anything.” He retorted, a mild frustration in his voice.
Austria shut his eyes, resting his head in his arm, falling into a brief sleep in the not so relaxing ambience of the blaring music and the much more pleasant warm breeze. It was for quite a short period of time however, they entered Italy soon after he’d fallen asleep. Luckily, late as it was by the time they got there, there wasn’t too much traffic. Still, waking up in Italian traffic was one of the worst ways to wake up.
It was a relatively short distance to the coast by then, and the architecture made for a nice sight to look at. The car came to a stop above a sort of cliff leading down to the beach. They exited the car, Prussia swung his arms around in a show of stretching them, Roderich simply rolled his shoulders a few times before following him.
The pathway down was steep, covered atop by foliage, trying not to trip, Roderich tried to keep hold of a branch from one of the trees with spider like branches at all times. Eventually Prussia grew tired of his excruciatingly slow pace and took him by the hand, dragging him down the walkway himself, much to his protest, but Gilbert merely assured him without too much attempting to convince him that he would be fine. When they finally reached the bottom, Roderich tugged his hand free. As they walked onto the sand, looking out to the breathtaking view before them, they both took a deep breath of the fresh air of the coast.
The beach was beautiful, a vast sparkling dark blue ocean along with fine sand appearing a silver color under the lighting of the chandelier that was the moon and the many stars making up the night sky. Under the sun, the sand would appear more gold, the water a shade of turquoise. The nightfall, though the colder hues, didn’t subtract from the warmth of the Mediterranean summer heat. Only the gentle sound of wind blowing and the waves softly crashing could be heard, the entire expanse as far as eye could see vacant in the lateness.
Seeing Gilbert doing so, Roderich followed in removing his coat, shoes, and socks. The texture of sand below his feet carried a different yet pleasant sensation. He didn’t frequently visit beaches, Austria had none, being a landlocked country, northern Germany did, though he preferred staying inside, going out was a tiring affair. And people were unavoidable there, the scrutinizing gaze of others was incredibly uncomfortable, dressing in swimwear made him feel exposed, but dressing in typical -or his brand of typical- clothes garnered more attention making it more so, it was rather frustrating. Going at night wasn’t something he’d considered before, it was nice.
“It doesn’t have the same feel as during the day, but will it suffice?” Austria questioned, feeling a warm wisp of wind reaching his cheeks as he stared into the ocean, carrying the reflection of the stars and moon in it, a liquid mirror, the image distorting with the waves softly crashing.
“I think…” Gilbert trailed off, taking a breath of the air before continuing. “It’s even more awesome than what it would be like during the day.” He answered, Roderich could tell he had a stupid grin on his face, hearing more than seeing as his eyes were still focused on the sea.
“I’m glad.” He responded, moving to sit down, pulling his knees to his chest, laying crossed arms over his knees, finishing by laying his head atop them. The gentle breeze was blowing the sand over his feet, burying them deeper into it. Gilbert followed his relaxing, laying back with knees raised where they bent, his arms crossed behind his head acting as a mock pillow.
The familiar flame lit in his chest when he turned from his fixed gaze seeing Prussia’s eyes filled with utter contentment from simply being at a beach, his appreciation was palpably potent, comically so, he was always a ridiculously eccentric person on the outside, though his true passions he preferred keeping concealed, but even in the reserved smile, those eyes were bursting with so much joy, impossibly wide smile twitching in attempt to widen further. As he observed him, Roderich thought that he looked like if he were to fully release the reins he held back his emotions with, fully unrestrained he would be physically shaking from elation.
It was likely a terribly stupid thing to do, whatever the result, they’d be forced to ride home together, and it bore the risk of ruining everything about their relationship carefully built piece by piece after centuries of rivalry and at times what could have been described as a genuine hatred. Roderich liked to think of himself as a logical person who considered the consequences of every action, so why would it in any way make sense to confess now of all times? But the three words that laid heavily on his tongue for what felt like far too long felt like they couldn’t be kept in the cage of his teeth biting them back any longer, so against all better judgement, averting his gaze to the side and tensing his shoulders, he flexed his feet, digging his toes further into the sand, either to keep himself from running or to do very that in the case of rejection, he himself didn’t know, he confessed.
“I love you.”
Austria couldn’t see as Gilbert was broken out of the trance of the hypnotizing night sky into a stunned silence, choosing to keep his eyes trained down on the sand below. The few deafening moments of silence of an aching wait for acknowledgement of his words were hellishly painful. Gilbert shifted, kneeling before him in attempt to look into the averted eyes.
“What did you say?” Austria’s violet eyes flicked up, brows furrowed, he guessed his irises were swimming with the anxiety he felt forming a knot in his throat.
“What?” He asked breathily in a voice so soft it was reminiscent of a frightened rabbit.
“What you just said, repeat it.” Prussia demanded, their positions made it so he towered over him, not helping in any way to calm his nerves.
“I…” He took a breath, closing his eyes, “love you.” He repeated the phrase, trailing off into an almost whisper The admission should have been crushed of any semblance of pride he harbored, but he retained it enough to speak properly in his normal voice.
He felt his fingers twitch, the discomfort from the tension of the situation making him ache to get up, the tiredness subsiding in its wake. He risked opening his eyes, seeing Gilbert scanning his face, he didn’t know what to make of the reaction, but before he could escape, the scrutiny shifted to a joy, it was the most genuine feeling he’d seen him express, a display of true candidness. His smile unmatchable to anything he’d seen before, tears bubbling in the corners of the enchanting red of his eyes, he was only able to catch a glimpse of it before he was tackled into a bone-crushing embrace.
Roderich’s eyes widened at the sudden action, his arms pinned helplessly at his sides. Getting over the initial shock, he felt a pang in his chest when he realized he could feel Gilbert shaking and his quivering breath on the back of his neck from where his laid in the juncture between it and his shoulder.
“Get off, I can’t breathe.” Austria finally voiced reluctantly after enduring the breathlessness as long as he was able to savor the exhilaration derived from the close contact, flailing slightly. Prussia quickly retracted.
“I’m sorry.” He apologized, Roderich shook his head, sitting up from where he’d been pushed into the sand to catch his breath as he dusted off his clothes. “What you said,” he started, “…You meant it, right?” He asked tentatively.
“I’m not so much of an ass that I would lie about something like that.” Austria retorted defensively, blushing immensely, going back to the safeguard of avoiding eye contact.
“No, you wouldn’t.” Gilbert agreed.
“By your reaction, I take it you feel the same.” He spoke naturally as if unphased, trying desperately to regain a semblance of composure, despite obviously being shaken.
Austria missed the nod, making for another second of uncomfortable silence before he noticed his error, rectifying the mistake by speaking the assurance. “I love you too.”
Gilbert leaned forward, cupping Roderich’s flushed cheeks in his palms, using the hold to manipulate his face into facing him. Austria slowly allowed his eyes to drift to looking forward, meeting Gilbert’s.
“Can I kiss you?” Gilbert asked.
“May I.” He corrected, earning an amused exhale before he nodded his grant of permission, closing his eyes in resignment.
Gilbert removed Roderich’s eyeglasses, setting them aside amidst the pile of their removed articles of clothing before he leaned in further to capture his lips in a kiss, it was hardly more than a peck. When he retracted, Roderich failed to fully suppress his laughter, concealing it to the best of his abilities behind a closed fist over his mouth, finding humor in the chastity and amateurness. One might think he would carry some degree of experience from his confident front, but at heart he was still the immature childish boy running away from marriage at every opportunity. Taking initiative, Roderich wrapped his arms around Gilbert in another embrace, pressing their chests together with an arm placed at the small of his back pulling him closer, the other tangling in the soft strands of his white hair, stroking before finding purchase and with a soft grip he pulled him back in to give him a proper kiss, moving his lips against unexperienced ones at a slow pace for him to get used to the feeling.
He grew accustomed incredibly quickly, a fast learner. Gilbert pulled back, pushing Roderich’s shoulders gently so he fell to his back on the sand, hands that had previously drifted from his hair and waist to his cheeks falling limply to his sides level with his eyes. The warm wind blowing sand over his exposed arms made him feel a bit like a rock slowly eroding from the course feeling, or rather a precious agate or shell with Gilbert looking down at him with nothing but adoration like he’d just found a precious treasure revealed by the blowing sand uncovering it. His pupils appeared especially dilated, more so than should be even in the darkness of night, a phenomenon caused by the adrenaline of loving someone intensely. Prussia scanned his face for approval to continue, at another nod, he connected their lips once again.
Gilbert placed his hands in Roderich’s own, struggling to lace their fingers together, the hands still shaking, forcing his to follow suit, Austria gripped onto them tightly, his heart racing at the wonderfully overwhelming sensation. He struggled to breathe through the kiss. Legs already positioned kneeling spread on either side of his hips, Prussia lowered himself to lay over him. Their pressed together chests caused the touching heartbeats to sync, making Roderich’s faster he thought it capable of. The gentle even pressure of the body over his was immensely soothing and provided a hypnotic warmness, he relaxed fully, sighing into the kiss, his hands relinquishing their hard grasp, fingers falling open from where they’d been curled in a clasp, simply allowing them to be moved with every shudder of Gilbert’s overflowing passion.
Prussia slowed before coming to a stop, pressing one more chaste kiss to his mouth before pulling away. He repositioned himself to be laying on his back beside him, keeping one set of their hands laced together. Austria gasped for air, Prussia doing the same, equally breathless. Their disheveled appearances reminded Roderich of the song first played on a lute, Greensleeves. He’d played it once during the brief time he’d allied with England in the War of Austrian Succession while he was drunk, he’d started laughing and explained the scandalous origin of the song, claiming it unfit for such a proper person to play, though he had quickly started crying after Austria mentioned the rumor he’d heard of his past king writing it for one of his wives, reminding him of the religiously confused nation of the time. Apparently, the lyrics of the ‘green sleeves’ referred to a woman’s dress being stained from rolling in the grass with a lover, the sand sticking to his clothes, his tousled hair, and their mutual spent appearances had a similar feeling. Though the vacancy of the beach, he felt a sense of shame being under the watch of the stars.
Gilbert rose after a while of respite, using their intertwined hands to drag Roderich up with him. The exhaustion from the taxing day had somewhat returned, the adrenaline from the thrill of the confession dying as he regained his breath, making him lag behind without much energy as he allowed himself to be led through the sand of the beach. They stopped in front of where the sand darkened from the touch of the water, Prussia rolled up his pantlegs, Austria took a step back trying to free himself of the grip.
“What’s wrong?” Prussia teased. “Are you scared of the ocean?”
With a blush, eyes cornered down, Austria nodded embarrassedly. “Seriously? It’ll be alright, come on, I’m holding your hand, so you’ll be fine! You have the awesome me with you after all.” He confidently assured, gesturing to himself pridefully with his free hand. Austria rolled his eyes, relenting, he rolled up his pantlegs as well, silently hoping they wouldn’t venture far enough into the water to get them wet at all.
The water was still cold in the hot weather, sending a shiver up his legs from the contact. It felt nice though, refreshing. The waves meeting his ankles was satisfying, the sound of them more clear and pleasant close up. Prussia reached down to dip a hand into the ocean’s water, flicking his fingers up, sending droplets flying into the air, Austria sent him a glare after tightly shutting his eyes, none had hit him, though it was close enough to upset him. Gilbert smiled sheepishly, muttering an apology as he stood back up, shaking the water off of his hand.
Roderich startled, frightened by the crab he’d noticed along the line where the water met the sand, a few meters from where they stood, losing his footing, he shut his eyes tightly, anticipating the touch of the cold water that never came. He hesitantly blinked open his violet eyes, caught in the arms of his newfound lover. The grasp on his hand outstretched, the other around his waist in a perfectly unintentional mimicry of a dip in a ballroom dance. There was no way someone as brutish as Gilbert was able to dance properly, but the graceful scene was breathtaking all the same. The moon was located behind Gilbert in their current position, making his facial features nearly invisible while his silhouette was accentuated by its white light, the spiky silver white hair and his pale skin outlined. There was only one word in his mind as he calmed his breathing and racing heart from the thought that he was falling.
Beautiful
Only at the barely able to be made out concerned expression transforming to a fond smile with eyes equally filled with the emotion along with the taste of the salty air in his mouth did he realize he’d voiced the word aloud.
The flame of energy fully burning out after regaining his balance, Roderich collapsed into Gilbert’s chest, they were roughly the same height, but his slumped posture made his stature appear shorter as the other caught him swiftly, his cheek resting right above his heart, the arms around him felt perfect, the one circling where his head lay silencing the ocean and wind, only hearing the heartbeat in his ear, the one around his torso so warm and soothing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been held, at the relief he felt the sting of tears began pricking his eyes.
“Tired?” Prussia asked in a gentle voice he felt vibrating on his cheek. He nodded as much as the embrace allowed his head to move. Gilbert adjusted his hold to pick him up in a bridal carry, Austria didn’t mind, it felt caring rather than degrading. “Are you alright?” Gilbert asked as he reached a hand to wipe the wetness from his eyes. Austria nodded again, more free to do so.
“I’m content.” He explained. Gilbert smiled with a hum. When they reached back to where they’d been before, Austria was laid down over his coat. “It’s too hot for that.” He rejected as Prussia tried to lay his own over him. He nodded, removing it.
“Do you want me to drive us home?” He asked, Roderich shook his head.
“I want to sleep, that’s made impossible while driving here.” He explained.
“Okay, I’ll wake you when the sun starts rising.” Austria nodded. Prussia, sitting beside him, absentmindedly ran fingers through his well-cared for brunette hair as he watched the ocean.
“Don’t pull my Mariazell.” He chided.
“I’m sorry.” He leaned down to kiss him in apology.
“I forgive you.” He answered in a quiet softer tone from tiredness. The sand seemed to make for a poor pillow, Roderich tossing a bit in his attempt to sleep, he helped by repositioning himself, setting his head in his lap, after a while more of adjusting, he seemed comfortable.
“I’m not sure what to do.” Prussia admitted his insecurity.
Austria waited a moment before responding, Prussia had wondered if he’d fallen asleep already. “Neither am I. This, this feels nice, I want to go on like this, if we’re both content, does it really matter what we do?” He opened his eyes, looking up briefly, enough for Prussia to consider the words for a moment before shaking his head, he laid his head back down.
Prussia swallowed. “Are we-" he started, “boyfriends now?” He asked the question on his mind, wanting clarity in that one regard.
“Do you want to be?” Austria asked without opening his eyes, the words coming out a bit muffled as they were spoken into his lap.
“Yes.” He answered breathlessly, his want for the question to become a reality painfully apparent.
“Then yes, we are.” Roderich answered him simply, like it was as simple as that, and perhaps it was.
They were the last words spoken before Austria drifted off, Prussia continued playing with his hair, a small smile decorating his face as he looked on to the ocean.