Chapter Text
There it is again. That awful tingling.
Albedo grips his pen tightly as the world began to shake around him. His vision warping and the room spinning. His other hand had instinctively latched onto the edge of the desk, as though it would keep himself steady somehow. The rest of his muscles had also began to contract and stiffen, preparing for something massive. A voice snaps him back to the room.
“You know, the more this happens, the less your condition seems like vertigo. You should really consider seeking outside assistance.”
Albedo looks up at the forest ranger sitting across from him who had also stopped mid note taking, his ear twitching with concern. Even with his firm tone, his eyes were soft and glittering in worry. Albedo shifts his gaze away guiltily.
These…’episodes’, Albedo had dubbed them, had been happening for a couple of months now. He had initially thought it was a side effect from accidentally inhaling some toxic fumes from one of the pair’s various experiments. But even after Tighnari had attempted to treat him with various methods, nothing seemed to do the trick. They seem to progressively get more aggressive and more frequent.
“I…I’ll be fine.” He tightens his lips at his obvious hesitation. He could feel Tighnari’s judging gaze burning into him.
The two scientists had been working together for a few years, one helping the other with his research. They constantly visited each other, and this recent encounter, Tighnari was visiting Albedo in Mondstadt. They had gotten to be pretty good friends from their time together. And within that relationship, they had both developed a knack to read each other well. This was especially beneficial for Albedo who wasn’t very in tune with his own emotions. He had always troubled with recognizing how he was feeling in the moment. But Tighnari knew. He always had the answer. Frustration, disappointment, embarrassment…Tighnari’s intuition was always correct. It was nearly impeccable to Albedo.
And right now he was sure his friend was picking up on his anxiety and guilt. Albedo had refused multiple times to see an actual doctor. Tighnari probably guessed it was from not wanting to lose precious research time. But the truth is that Albedo already knew exactly what his condition was. And that burden was something he could not put onto anyone else. Not even for someone as strong and resilient as the Traveler. Albedo had been so close to telling them his secret at one point, but he had stopped himself. Tighnari had described guilt as a heaviness in one’s soul. Albedo at the time wasn’t even sure he himself had a soul. But this feeling…
“You’ve been kinda distant, you know…” Tighnari’s voice had changed. It wasn’t his usual matter of fact tone. It was almost sad.
Albedo wasn’t quite sure how to answer that. He didn’t feel that anything that he was doing was particularly intentional, but if Tighnari sensed it, then it must be so.
“What makes you think that?” Albedo’s voice had a hint of defensiveness that he was completely oblivious to. Tighnari had picked up on it, though. He eyes his friend, his eyes slightly narrowed. But he replies coolly,
“It’s simple really. You used to be so honest.” Albedo was taken aback by the comment. He begins to sift through his own recollections, trying to catch where this change could’ve possibly occurred but to no avail. He usually had no intention of being dishonest, but his tongue had developed a speed faster than neurons especially when it came to anything regarding his secret.
“I guessed I never noticed.” That was the truth, but even he was beginning to doubt his own words.
Tighnari gingerly places his pen in the seam of his notebook before closing it. He slowly rises from his chair. Albedo watches him curiously. The former gazes across the table before smiling after a short moment.
“Let’s head to the Angel’s Share.”
“I thought you didn’t like drinking.” Albedo retorts.
“I’m not the one that needs a drink.”
Albedo stays where he is, eyeing the fox with scrutiny. The latter’s green eyes were firm but playful. Albedo knew there was no use in arguing once the other had made up his mind. That was another thing he appreciated about Tighnari. He was confident but not so much that it led to carelessness. He believed in his own judgement which in turn instilled confidence in others. A true and competent leader. Something that Albedo was not.
Albedo sighs, feigning annoyance. “You’re not going let me sit this one out I presume. Alright.” Has he set his pen down, he eyes the half finished line he was scrawling earlier. One word made his blood run cold. Khemia. He had no recollection of writing it. It must’ve been at the beginning of his episode.
Tighnari gently closes the notebook as Albedo watches the familiar word fade into the darkness of the pages.
“No more work for today, alright?” He could feel Tighnari searching to meet his gaze, but Albedo’s eyes stayed glued to the blue leather of the notebook. For a moment earlier, he felt that he could escape his dark mission. Escape the past. His origins. Yet, that word…
Albedo felt a tug on the hood of his jacket. He tears his eyes from the notebook. Tighnari was looking at him with such a level of concern that hadn’t seen before. He wanted to tell the truth. He wanted to confide in his friend. But this guilt was constantly biting at his neck, causing his throat to close up whenever he opened his mouth to confess his past and future sins.
“Let’s go.” He says after a moment. He slides past Tighnari and heads for the door to room they were working in. It was unintentionally his favorite research office. There was just enough sunlight from the windows to offer the warmth of natural light but not so much that it was irritatingly blinding.
Tighnari watches him, not moving from his spot. He didn’t quite appreciate the sudden aloofness of the Chief Alchemist. He thought he had gotten past that. He thought…Albedo’s voice breaks through the room.
“Weren’t you the one that wanted to go?” Tighnari had to suppress a frown. There was that flat, uninterested look on Albedo’s face that the former couldn’t stand. It was one of his classic looks. Tighnari was very familiar with it. Albedo never had a problem with showing his disinterest.
He had little regard of what others thought of him, and what interested Tighnari the most was that it never came from a place of vanity. Just the opposite. Albedo viewed everyone around him as equals. He looked at the world and others with alchemical simplicity. Everyone originated from simplest of matter. They were made of individual components to make a living being. And those beings were all components if what they called society. Nationality and social status meant nothing to Albedo.
Whenever he shows interest in another, it almost felt like an accomplishment. His attention was privilege in Tighnari’s eyes. Only the special few that piqued Albedo’s interest past the surface level, would have a chance to truly understand Albedo himself. Tighnari wanted to be one of those people.
Their relationship didn’t start with this longing. He first saw Albedo as someone that understood and shared interests similar to Tighnari. It was a strange feeling at first. Uncanny even. That someone understood Tighnari so well. To have such a connection. It was connection that rivaled even his and Cyno’s. Then, after a while, he got to see glimpses of the real Albedo. The lonesome, soft soul that reserved itself to the peaks of Dragonspine.
There was something else in Albedo that Tighnari had noticed but never pressed until now. Something was troubling him. Tormenting the poor chalk prince’s mind. Yet, he kept it to himself, never wanting to dim the rest of the world’s light with such darkness. And it seemed that darkness was growing.
Tighnari knew that Albedo was keeping him at an arm’s length to protect him. And it tore him apart watching his friend’s burden grow ever heavier. So, whenever that empty look was directed towards him…it infuriated him. He felt their years together becoming unraveled. He wasn’t sure if he could handle that sort of distance between him and Albedo. He pipes up,
“I wanted us to go.” He walks past Albedo, their shoulders brushing for a second. He felt the friction between them. He gave an indignant swish of his tail and opened the door.