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When he received the plain, white envelope, he knew exactly what he was going to find inside.
And even when he didn’t want to, he felt so confused.
Just to be invited to the ceremony was enough of an excuse to wear his uniform again.
He was going home, with his family, even if it was just for a few hours.
Because he was absolutely going. There was nothing Maddie could say for him to stay.
It was Eddie’s day after all.
Oh, Eddie.
His best friend, Eddie.
Kind, relatable, ever so perfect, Eddie.
His Eddie.
A smile made its way into Buck’s face. The man deserved it so much, he wasn’t just an amazing firefighter, he was family already, and rightfully so.
If you told him the very moment they met that he would grow to love having him around, Buck would’ve never believed so. But it ended up being true.
They had found in each other's presence a safe place. When it was the two of them, Buck felt brave, competent.
Good.
And it was thrilling.
He wouldn’t miss this ceremony for the world.
He owe him the effort.
-
There were some things he could not do with a cast covering his whole leg.
One of them was putting on his firefighter uniform.
And seeing his sister ripping it off was, to say the least, upsetting.
Just like the fact that he didn’t know if he would ever come back.
It was like this slight of a change into his clothing was a mirror of his own life changing, taking a toll.
Loose threads rested in Maddie’s hands when he told her his fears.
And she understood the way only an older sister could.
He was so glad to have her back.
But the fear of losing him remained in his mind, using the biggest corner it could find, making its own way towards his heart.
Buck was a man who felt intensely.
He cried easily, without shame.
And as he felt, he acted. Someone could say recklessly, no brains in the process.
He couldn’t say he agreed at all.
His heart made him the hero he was. It was the one that woke him up in the morning, and who made him love his job, his family, his home.
It was a strong asset the days he decided to be benevolent to himself.
Lately, there haven't been too many days like those.
It was weird.
For moments he would feel, almost too strongly, a heartbreaking pain.
And a second later, numbness would surround him like a morning fog.
He was scared of the numbness. What if he never came back? Will his everyday life become a fog?
What if leaving the firehouse means Eddie leaving him behind?
Walking again would not be enough to catch up.
It was in times like that when he missed Eddie’s steady presence by his side.
-
With his head tilted to the side, a shy smile and the warmest eyes, Eddie opened his arms.
A little embarrassed, Buck realized that embrace was all he needed.
They hugged each other tightly, relying on the warmth of feeling home.
After a second way longer than what it felt, they separated a little, arms holding tight into each other's shoulders, the biggest smiles in the room.
Eddie even looked relieved.
“I’m so glad to see you back on your feet.”
Buck laughed. “It’s more of a single foot right now, you know?”
If it was possible, he smiled harder. “It is.”
As a breath full of well known emotions passed through Buck’s lungs as he shook his head.
“Welcome to the 118.”
He could feel his heart beating stronger, his blood running faster. Crinkling his eyes, he tried to push his emotions to a halt.
He was just so happy for him.
“Thank you.” Eddie smiled even brighter.
Eddie, his Eddie, trusted him with his experiences, his troubles, his loves and loses.
And he loved everything once he gave himself the chance to.
He recognized parts of himself in his eyes.
They shared ideals, a passion for just helping the people of the city they called home.
They held fears and trade them off, tasting them, understanding where they came from, just to have a rest in the other’s heart.
“Buck?”
Was he staring?
“I just missed you so much,” he blurted out, his throat betraying him a little.
And there he was. Always reliable Eddie, hugging him again, guessing what he needed in an act that became natural between them in the few months they had spent together.
“Missed you too,” he murmured, the hint of his smile sneaking its way into his voice.
He didn’t know what would burst out first, his heart or the tears on his eyes.
-
“You know I threw a fit over this?” Buck said, pointing at the cut out of his pants.
Eddie’s eyes traveled to the spot. “Doesn’t look too bad.”
“Can’t say that Maddie never learnt to sew a patient at nursing school.”
They shared a small laugh.
A comfortable silence settled between them. After the mandatory ceremony, where he got all emotional (again) and dining everyone together, Buck stayed seated on his table, looking to give a rest to his sister’s nerves. His friends took turns to join in conversation. Chimney made himself present with a personal ted talk about how surgery and traumatic experiences put them a step closer into the sharing-is-caring trauma-ladder, with some terrible puns very much appreciated, while Hen and Karen promised to stop by with Denny to keep him company on their free days.
“No nursing though,” Hen joked.
Bobby and Athena sat down with him the longest. After scolding or teasing him, Buck was not so sure which one, they gave him the reassurance he always looked in them, leaving him feeling oddly pampered.
Surprisingly (not really), his favorite chat partner was Christopher. By far. It was impressive how much his best friend’s son cheered him up, his whole face lit up in a smile when he saw Buck, it was endearing.
“Buck?”
“Yes, buddy?”
“Did you notice? We match now.”
“Sure we do,” he said, offering him a fistbump that the kid accepted happily.
Opening his arms, Buck received the hug from a giggly Christopher. As he put the boy crutches aside, he let him stay. People often told Buck that he loved too easily, but he was sure that nothing would make him regret loving the child.
And that was how Eddie found them.
“Careful with Buck, son,” he told him as he approached them.
That made Christopher look worried. “Did I hurt you, Buck?”
He smiled again, it was the only thing he seemed to be able to do today. “Nah, your father worries too much,” he said, directing the same smile to Eddie, who shook his head, amused.
“Dad’s great,” the boy murmured.
Heartwarming.
“Oh, indeed he is.”
Christopher detangled and Buck handed back his crutches with a smile. “Go with your dad, buddy.”
“Actually I’m here to join the party.”
Eddie sat down where every single one of his friends previously were and ruffled his son’s hair lovingly.
They stayed there, making fun of Eddie, playing with Christopher, and making even more fun of Buck. He loved how natural it all felt with them, how freely they welcomed him into their small family.
After a while, Eddie let Christopher go and wander around the firehouse. Always keeping an eye on him, he had a sense of safety in a place full of EMTs and paramedics. Full of family.
That’s how the ripped off pant leg topic found them and where the silence came.
One sigh.
Another.
“I know I told you already, but I’m really glad you came. Just getting dressed must have been, you know,” Eddie gestured with his hands, looking for his words, “a great effort.”
The tightness in his throat wanted to make a stellar comeback so badly.
“Not even a truck falling into my good leg would’ve stopped me from coming.” His voice came out hoarsely.
Staring at each other, picking the glint in blue eyes, became too much. Looking away first, Eddie shook his head with a sheepish smile.
Eyes fixed on the floor, he muttered, “thank you.”
“You already said that.”
“For caring.” Eddie looked up to find Buck’s eyes still on him. “For giving me a chance to really be part of this family.”
Buck shook his head, laughing a little like he couldn’t believe the man in front of him. “Oh, you already won them over in your first five minutes.” He turned to look at his people, fondly.
Eddie leaned in a bit. “But it took a little more than that with you, didn’t it?” he asked, a knowing smile tugging the corners of his lips.
Buck couldn’t help it but laugh for real this time. Fully, wholeheartedly.
And Eddie followed suit. After all, laughs are one contiguous kind of ever-so-sweet virus.
In that moment, not even a broken leg could burst the bubble of happiness that surrounded him, all the anxiety he felt in the morning left in his conversion with Maddie.
Now here, home, in the station, with his whole family, the one who welcomed him with open arms and a nice meal, celebrating the man who never let go of his hand when he most needed one, the one who promised to have his back without even knowing him and all the flaws he carried on his back.
Eddie.
His Eddie.
Ever so perfect Eddie.
The same Eddie that maybe wasn’t so perfect after all, but made it all up with his heart.
And Buck loved it even more than if he were actually perfect.
“Oh man, I feel so lucky.”
“What for?” Eddie sighed, closing his eyes. Taming down his laugh, a lingering smile stayed with them.
Buck didn’t try to look away as he spoke.
“You.”
At that, Eddie looked at him again, slightly surprised.
Buck laughed again, it was so easy around him. “No, for real, you have saved my life in a thousand little ways.”
At that, Eddie grinned. “And you have saved ours,” he answered back, gaze drifting to his son. “We have each other’s backs, remember?” Eddie tilted his head towards him, once again.
“Yeah.” Was all Buck could let out, a contained breath leaving his lungs.
Because the way he had thought about that just now made him smile even harder.
Maybe they stared into each other’s eyes a little longer than what could feel acceptable for two friends from work.
Maybe they smiled a little too softly while doing so.
Maybe Eddie searched for every shade of blue on Buck’s eyes.
Maybe Buck counted every single one of Eddie’s eyelashes.
But aside from a knowing glance from a friend or two (or three or four), they found themselves too content in a world made just for them two.