Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He’d promised no more fights, he swore. But this one, this last one he’d make so much money when he won they could travel all over the states. Dick could sing in a new club every night, really make a name for himself. They could have everything they ever wanted. Maybe Jason would even buy a pair of matching rings. Sure Dick would fuss over the couple of bruises he’d get but after hearing Jason’s plan he’d come around quick. And yea, he had to miss one of Dick’s shows for the fight but he had been training hard for this.

He didn’t expect to hit the mat, never in his wildest dreams. He wanted this too much but- it wasn’t enough. Jason’s mouth fills with blood, he stumbles on his feet. He’s out.

He makes it home past midnight to their dingy little one bedroom apartment. He unlocks the door shoving his weight onto it unsticking the warped door from it’s frame.

“Jay?” Dick calls out, “You weren’t home when I got back and-” he stops.

Jason stands at the threshold of their bedroom, he looks like hell he knows that but Dick’s face- the mix of surprise and hurt, he can’t take it.

“You…” Dick presses his lips together the way he always does when he gets choked up, “You said you wouldn’t- You promised me-”

“Dick, listen, I-”

“Don’t.” One simple word but the tone of it, Jason thinks it might hit harder than any of the punches he took that night.

“I gotta get out of here.” Dick says but Jason blocks his way.

“Please, I know I fucked up but-”

“This time was different?” he finishes, “I don’t care if you won or lost Jay, I’ve told you that. I’m not gonna sit around and wait to hear you’re in the hospital again. I’ve been your nurse for too damn long now.”

“This was gonna be my last fight, it was.”

“Like you promised before?”

Jason doesn’t know how to respond, this wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. His pockets empty and Dick more upset than he’s ever seen.

“You remember that morning you went out for the paper and when you came back you didn’t remember who I was? Cause I do.” Dick says, his voice strained and pushes past him.

A moment later Dick’s got on his coat and shoes and is out the door. Jason stands in their small apartment, alone. He thinks of going after Dick, knows it’ll make everything worse and feels the air get thick around him. He sinks to the floor, head in his hands, earlier that day things were bright, they had plans, they had a future. Now it was all up in smoke.

A week later Dick moves out, he won’t tell Jason where and their little hole in the wall has never looked so big, so empty. Not that they had much in the way of furniture besides a place to eat and a place to sleep. It never really seemed to matter as long as they had each other. Jason stares at the classified section of the paper, maybe if he had something steady something more predictable he could change things. The words blur before his eyes, he blinks and watches the ink run when his tears hit the page.

That night Jason tucks himself away at the back of the club. He’s obscured from the stage but he can see Dick clearly, how beautiful he looks up on stage. His eyes are on the audience completely unaware of his presence. He remembers the first time he watched Dick sing, there were more rats than people at the place but he knew from that moment Dick was the one for him. The sorrow in Dick’s voice brings him out of the memories of old, he listens and feels himself break to pieces.

“I was born when I met you, now I’m dyin’ to forget you. And that is what I know.”

Chapter Text

Once the band clears Dick finally has a moment to himself backstage, he lets out a tired breath, it hadn’t been an easy week he doesn’t expect the next to be any better. Going back to his new shoebox of an apartment alone with a cold twin bed waiting for him did not help matters. It’d be so easy to go back to Jason, hell he thought about it every night since he left. He felt weak and angry, if Jason had no regard for himself after promising time and again he’d give up boxing knowing full well what it was doing to him then he didn’t care about their future together. It hurt worse than anything he could imagine.

“Your voice is quite impressive.” Someone from behind him says and Dick startles.

“Do I know- You- You’re that guy on all the papers, Bruce Wayne.”

Bruce nods, “And you’re Dick Grayson, I’ve been attending your show for the last two weeks now.”

“You have? Uh,- wow. I don’t know what to say Mr. Wayne-”

“Bruce, you can call me Bruce.”

“Bruce then, thank you so much for coming. I wish I’d have known, I take requests too and-” he takes a small breath, “I’m sorry, I’ve just never met someone of your stature and at my show.” He says all too quickly and he’s certain he’s made a fool of himself. God, what would Jason say? A pang of hurt hits and his smile falters just a moment.

“Are you alright?” Bruce asks.

“Fine.” he recovers.

Bruce doesn’t look fully convinced but goes on, “I will be having a party at my estate this coming Friday and would like to know if you’d care to perform for me and my guests?”

Dick’s mouth slackens, “Me? You want me to sing at your party?”

Bruce gives him a slightly amused smile and Dick feels himself smiling back. He can feel his face growing red in embarrassment.

“I mean,- I’d absolutely love to Mr. Wayne.”

It takes every ounce of willpower not to hop off of Dick’s sorry excuse for a bed and run back to Jason’s apartment to tell him the news. But he can’t, he knows the minute he sees Jason he’s going to give in, forgive everything and move back. He just can’t.

He had dealt with the bruises, black eyes, and stitches, but the times Jason would space out mid conversation, when his face would go blank, Dick had to put his foot down. Jason said he’d stop, promised he would and Dick believed him. And when that promise was broken over and over he looked the other way, until that morning Jason came back home completely lost and unsure of who he even was. No amount of reassuring kisses and soft words from the supposed to be ex boxer could mend the situation.

Dick curls on his side pulling the blanket up further. He’d be OK, his show was getting bigger every night and now a private gig at Wayne manor of all places. He thinks of telling Jason again and his chest aches. Jason would be so excited for him, he’d help him choose the right songs, he’d listen to him whine over which suit looked best. His eyes grow wet and he lets out a strangled noise burying his face into a pillow.

The manor is grander than anything he’s ever seen, it feels straight out of a movie. Paintings that scale the walls, chandeliers that were probably the size of his entire apartment. It’s all a bit overwhelming.

“Ah, you must be Mr. Grayson. I’m Alfred, the butler of the estate. Master Bruce has told me wonderful things about you.”

Dick feels his face heat up, “He has?”

“He seems to be quite taken by your voice, I’m certain the other guests will be too.”

Dick smiles, the butterflies swarming in his stomach settle if only slightly. Bruce steps into the room overviewing the food tables and Dick takes the moment to walk over and greet the older man.

“Your home is really… amazing.” Dick says and looks up, “Is that a champagne fountain?”

“It’s a bit extravagant for my tastes but Alfred tells me I should allow myself some indulgences. Speaking of which, you mentioned you take requests?”

Dick nods, “I do, anything you’d like to hear tonight?”

“The last song you sang this past Wednesday night, it’s been on my mind since and I’d like to hear it again.”

Dick knows exactly the song and his heart drops, “Oh, I- yea I can do that.”

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, not at all, it’s just a bit sad, don’t you think?.”

“You don’t have to-”

“No, I will. It won’t be an issue.”

Bruce looks him over, Dick feels a little exposed, “Was it recent?”

Dick thinks a year could pass and his relationship with Jason would still feel recent, “It’s been a little while.”

The older man’s face softens and he grabs two glasses from the table filling them, “Well then,” he hands Dick a glass, “to old loves and new acquaintances.”

Chapter Text

It had been two weeks since their break up and Jason saw absolutely no reason to pull himself out of bed. The sun shone brightly through the curtains of his bedroom and he just… wanted no part in it. He thinks back to mornings like this with Dick and he huffs against his pillow, it didn’t matter the time of day Dick was always full of energy. He’d be so damn annoying, steal his pillow then tug away the sheets. Jason would pin him to the bed and Dick would just laugh at him until they were both all over each other. Jason shoves himself off of the bed, he can’t stay there anymore with those memories floating in his head.

He’s found himself a job at a shitty diner he hates but it’s money and sometimes he makes decent tips- at least since his face healed. Most of the time he’s treated like crap and most of the time he thinks of knocking everyone out. He needs the job though, not just for the money but he’s trying, really trying, for some kind of form of stability in his life. It’s what Dick wanted for him.

It’s a kind of torture, Jason thinks, coming to every show of Dick’s and watching from behind a crowd. Wishing so badly he could sit up front and have his lovers eyes on him and only him. He needs to stop coming here, maybe if he just got a chance to say a proper goodbye, to separate on good terms he’d feel a bit better about it all. He sneaks backstage after the show and to his surprise Dick is not alone.

It takes a minute to register who the guy talking to him is, it’s Bruce Wayne, the rich guy in all the fucking papers. Talking and smiling at the singer and Dick is smiling right back. There’s a tinge of blush on his cheeks and his eyes are lit up. Jason knows he should leave now but his feet are rooted to the spot. Wayne asks Dick something and he hesitates, looks to the floor then back up to the older man before nodding. Wayne takes his hand in his before pressing Dick’s knuckles to his lips. Dick’s face grows red and Jason doesn’t need to see anymore.

Dick sat on his bed nervously watching the clock. He shouldn’t have agreed to this, it felt so sudden but maybe a date with Bruce was what he needed to clear his head, let it open to new possibilities. And yet… it felt like cheating. He and Jason had split but every night he catches himself heading off in the wrong direction home. Every morning he expects to hear Jason grumbling about the sun being too bright and that there really should be a way to fix that.

He makes his way downstairs and out of the nearly broken down building. Dick pulls tighter on his coat and attempts to focus on tonight. Bruce was sweet, he had brought him roses earlier this week and never missed a show. He and Bruce could be something, he just had to let go. A dazzling black car that has no business being in this kind of neighborhood shows up and he knows it’s for him.

Dick’s never been to a restaurant like this before, everyone decked out and dolled up. His suit is old, he bought it a year back and even then it was on the clearance rack. He feels the looks of upturned noses on their way to the table. He’s used to getting looks of all kinds but not like this, not like he’s some lost stray off the streets. Dick focuses his attention on Bruce, he smiles and lets his hand slip under the other’s. Bruce orders for them and Dick wants to say ‘Please, nothing too expensive’ and he then remembers who he’s with. This is the life he’s been striving to achieve and it’s landed right on his lap, he has no idea what to do. He always expected Jason would be with him for this.

Bruce is different, he isn’t loud, he doesn’t crack raunchy jokes just to see him blush. He’s different. Maybe with Bruce he could fit in a place like this, not stand out like a sore thumb. The thing is, he isn’t really sure if he wants to. Everything feels so mixed up when dinner arrives he’s lost most of his appetite.

After dinner the rest of their night is spent walking together at a nearby park, Dick really wants this to work but his mind keeps wandering. Bruce is wonderful, a real gentleman, he’s only just taken Dick’s hand in his. He remembers when Jason busted his hand and he was upset because that was his hand to hold. Jason laughed and after realizing how silly that was started laughing himself. He takes a seat at the nearest bench leaving a spot for Bruce, allowing their fingers to lace.

“It’s really lovely tonight.” he says and before he even knows what he’s doing he’s kissing Bruce.

He can make this work if he just tries hard enough. Bruce likes him, wants him, he could have everything he’s ever wanted. Love & stability right there in front of him. Except Jason. Except that idiot who loves him more than Dick’s ever deserved and hurt him worse than any kind of pain a person could dream up.

Bruce cups his cheek, “You’re crying.” he looks worried.

And he’s screwed it all up, “I- I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“There’s someone else.” and Dick nods miserably.

He expects Bruce to pitch a fit maybe but as always he’s a gentleman, “Well at least let me drive you home.”

He’s too good. He’ll make a great guy for someone someday, but not him.

Jason doesn’t want to think about the guy Dick’s out with. How he’s everything he can’t be. He can give Dick the life he deserves. Not this crummy life in a rundown apartment barely making it by. And even then all Jason wants is Dick by his side, curled up next to him humming something sweet in his ear. He fucked it all up. He just wanted to make a better life for them and he fucked it all up.

The front door opens with a familiar slam and he bolts upright.

“Jay?” it’s Dick’s voice. It can’t be.

In a flash he’s out of their bedroom and staring face to face with the man he loves.

“What’re you doing here?” he’s a bit in shock.

“I missed you.” and Jason wants to kiss him right then and there.

But he has to know, just a little, “Thought you had someone else keeping you busy?”

Dick looks pained, heartbroken, “I kissed him, and all I could think about was you.”

“Me?” he didn’t expect that.

“Yea, the whole night.”

Jason takes a step forward, stops, “This mean you’re moving back?”

“I don’t know… I want to, but I can’t see you get hurt anymore Jay, I can’t.”

“I’ll give it up, whatever you want.”

“You’ve promised me that before.” Dick looks away, down to the floor.

If Dick thinks he’s just going to leave after coming back here he has another thing coming. Jason takes the last few steps over to the other man and wraps his arms around the other’s waist, their eyes connect and their lips just barely touch before he pulls back.

“Have you been crying… because of me?” he asks.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.”

“Shit.” he closes his eyes letting his forehead rest against Dick’s, “I really fucked up huh?”

“Would it be bad form to say yes?”

Jason lets out a small chuckle and Dick does the same, “How was he, the rich guy?” he asks.

“Bruce.” Dick corrects, “Do you really care?”

He could demand details but what good would it do him, “I want you to be happy, even if it’s with him.”

Dick gives a fractured smile and a sharp inhale, “Christ, Jay. You’re gonna make me cry again. I’m here right?”

“Yea.” he answers.

“You make me happy.” and their lips meet, slow need turning into desperate hunger from the past two weeks without each other.

Jason doesn’t want to pull away. Never wants Dick to slip through his fingers again. He’ll do anything to keep it from happening. Dick is all he has and he loves him too damn much for his own good, and doesn’t mind one bit.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I just wanted to make things better for us. I was planning on proposing that night and all I got was a busted face.” he’s never felt so vulnerable, so damn open.

“Propose?” a tone of surprise in Dick’s voice.

“If I had won…”

“You think I wouldn’t still be mad that you fought?”

“Was hoping you’d overlook it.”

Dick gives him a glare but there’s no fire behind it, “You really wanted to propose?”

“I know it doesn’t mean shit but I wanted- I wanted to see my ring on your finger.” and Dick kisses him again, harder this time until he’s backpedaling into the wall. Dick’s hands are in his hair and Jason’s pulled him in so close there’s not an inch of space between them. The way Dick moans into his mouth is a song all on its own.

“You better ask then, good and proper.” Dick says after they break apart, he can feel the other man’s grin against his lips.

Jason smiles back, catches his breath, “Richard John Grayson, will you marry me?”

“On one condition…”

“I give up fighting?”

“How can we be together if a year from now you don’t remember who I am?”

The thought of that morning makes him angry, it’s a memory of a time he doesn’t even fully remember but it nearly broke them completely. If he had to admit it, it terrifies him, the idea of it happening again. The one good person in his life vanishing like he never existed in the first place.

“I’ll give it up, honest this time. If it means losing you I’ll never pick up another fucking glove, alright?” and he means it. He can only hope Dick can believe it.

“Well then,” Dick’s voice is barely a whisper but it’s the loudest thing in the room, “I will.”