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Because Puck and Finn are kissing, because Puck’s hand is under Finn’s shirt, and because they’re supposed to have at least another hour before Carole gets home, Puck doesn’t register the noise downstairs at first. It isn’t until he hears Carole’s keys hit the kitchen table that Puck realizes what’s going on, and he pulls back from Finn abruptly.
“I think your mom’s home,” he whispers.
“Crap! She wasn’t supposed to be home yet!” Finn whispers. “I better go down there!”
“What am I supposed to do?” Puck asks quietly. “I can’t leave!”
“Uh. Hide in the closet! Quick!” Finn says.
“Oh, that’s not ironic!” Puck hisses as he slides off the bed. “The closet!”
“Sorry! It’s the best I can do!”
“The closet!” Puck says again as he walks across the room and squats in the floor of Finn’s closet, on top of the outgrown football cleats and discarded basketball jersey. “This should be a movie.”
“Sorry!” Finn mouths again, quickly closing the closet door and hurrying out of the room.
“I can’t believe this,” Puck grumbles quietly to himself, moving a few things around so he can get more comfortable. They had had a few close calls over the months they’d been dating, but none where either of them had ended up hiding. Since it was the middle of the week, though, Finn hadn’t told Carole that Puck was coming over at all, which is why Puck is in the closet now.
“Oh, hey, Mom!” Finn says from the hallway, in a voice that’s not only way too loud, but completely fake-sounding, which is pretty typical of Finn, who is possibly the world’s worst liar.
“Finn!” Carole says, sounding startled, and then she says something else more quietly, enough so that Puck can’t tell what she says.
“Nothing! I just didn’t think you’d be home yet, you scared me, Mom, geez!” Finn says, still in the too-loud voice.
Carole’s response is still too quiet at first, but then Puck can hear the the final sentence. “Well, we won’t have to worry about that much longer!”
“Huh?”
“When we move, Finn, remember?”
“You’re not gonna be a stay-at-home mom or something, though, right?” Finn asks.
“No, Finn,” Carole says, sounding exasperated. “But Burt will be home most evenings, and certainly Kurt will, too. It’s so nice of him to offer to redecorate the room for the two of you.”
“I already told you, I don’t want to share that room!”
“Finn, it’s the only room available for you to sleep in. I’m sure you and Kurt can share a space without any trouble if you put some effort into it. Look at how much effort Kurt’s giving it!”
Puck snorts into a pair of Finn’s pants. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Kurt’s putting so much effort into it because it’s all part of his date-Finn scheme.”
“I don’t see why I can’t use that other room, Mom! It’s not fair! I don’t want to have to share a room!” Finn says. “It’s… it’s creepy, Mom, the whole thing is creepy, and I don’t want to do it!”
“I thought I raised you better than that!”
“I thought you cared about what I felt about stuff!”
“You’re letting your prejudices impact not just your own life, but my life, too!” Carole says, and Puck punches the old football cleats instead of the wall.
“I’m not prejudiced, Mom, geez! I just need my, like, privacy!” Finn says. “You didn’t even ask what I thought! You didn’t even care!”
“I thought you’d be happy for me, Finn, and Burt’s assured me that Kurt’s redecoration plan will include one of those folding room dividers.”
“That’s not enough. I want to stay here! This is our house!” Finn says, raising his voice even more.
Carole sighs so loudly and dramatically that Puck rolls his eyes. “I had really hoped you’d stop being irrational and prejudiced about this move. Burt said that Kurt thought you’d continue to overreact, though.”
“I’m not overreacting. You’re not listening.”
“It’s 2010, Finn, you need to get past this homophobia.”
Puck catches himself nearly laughing out loud, and he grabs the nearest clothing to cover his face while he keeps laughing. He’s pretty sure Carole wouldn’t be saying that if she knew Puck was crouched in Finn’s closet, hiding, but she’d probably have a different set of complaints.
“You are so unfair!” Finn yells, then starts storming back towards his bedroom.
“It’s for your own good!” Carole adds.
“Whatever!”
Finn slams his bedroom door and locks it. Puck hears him kick the wall and then knock his chair over. Puck waits long enough to make sure Carole’s footsteps are going in the other direction, and then he pushes the closet door open, crawling out before standing.
“Still not listening, huh,” he says quietly.
“I hate her! I hate her, and stupid Burt, and stupid Kurt with his stupid room!” Finn says, throwing himself down on his bed. Puck flops down beside him, arm landing half-draped across Finn.
“Yeah,” Puck says. “Me too. And we can’t even throw him in the dumpster anymore.”
“Why can’t we just live here? We have a basement!” Finn grumbles. What Finn doesn’t add is that the basement is unfinished, full of Christmas ornaments and Finn’s outgrown clothes, and floods in the spring, but as Puck thinks about all of that, the more he thinks it might be perfect.
“Why is there only one non-basement bedroom at the Hummels?” Puck says after a few minutes. “I don’t get it. That’s not how houses usually are.”
“It’s a sewing room!” Finn says bitterly. “It has all these sewing machines in it, and these dummy things without heads!”
“Wait, so Kurt gets a sewing room and sharing a room with you, both of which he wants, and you have to share a room with him, which you don’t want, and you’re the one being irrational?” Puck says. “Are you sure you don’t want to move in with me or something?”
“I totally would, but Mom would never let me,” Finn says.
“What if like…” Puck thinks about what would horrify Carole the most. “You told her you’d drop out otherwise?”
“Maybe,” Finn says, now sounded pitiful and defeated. “I hate this. It’s so unfair.”
“Do you think you could talk to Burt?” Puck asks. “Since Kurt’s got your mom around his finger?”
“I can try, but you know Burt thinks Kurt’s better than like every other person in the world.”
“I don’t get it,” Puck says, rolling onto his side and facing Finn. “Is it just ‘cause he’s, you know. Out? Is that why they all like him? Or is it the ironing?”
“I don’t know. He’s a suck-up, is what he is. And he’s mean sometimes!” Finn says. “Like what he did to Rachel, with the sad clown-hooker thing.”
“Yeah. I mean, she’s annoying, but the way he did it was a jerk move,” Puck says. “Want me to stay since you locked your door?”
“Yeah. I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to ever have to go,” Finn says.
“Cool.” Puck kicks his jeans off and rummages under Finn’s bed until he finds one of his pairs of sweatpants that he keeps there. Once they’re on, he slides under Finn’s sheets and nudges him. “Put on pajamas. You’ll thank me tomorrow.”
“Yeah, okay,” Finn says, getting up and putting on some pajama pants and a soft t-shirt. “I can thank you now, if you want, instead of tomorrow.”
Puck grins. “Turn off the light and get over here and we can do that.”
***
Burt’s a reasonable guy, Finn decides. He can definitely talk to Burt about this. He can tell Burt it isn’t going to work, and Burt’ll shut it down. Finn spends about a half-hour hyping himself up to talk to Burt, and then he walks to Burt’s shop.
Burt is under a car when Finn gets there, so Finn sort of squats next to it and peers underneath.
“Hey, Burt?”
“Oh, hey, Finn, gimme a second,” Burt says. There’s the sound of a tool or two being put down, and then Burt slowly emerges. “What do you need, kid?”
“I wanted to talk about the house,” Finn says.
“Oh, now, Kurt made me promise I wouldn’t say anything about how he’s redecorating,” Burt says.
“Yeah, that’s kinda the thing,” Finn says. “I really don’t feel very good about this whole thing.”
“Kurt wants to make sure you feel welcome, Finn. From the minute I told him about you and Carole moving in, it was ‘Finn this’ and ‘Finn that’.”
“It’s just, I’m used to having my own space, you know? Like, privacy.”
“I know your mom told you there’d be one of those folding room dividers. I insisted. I know neither of you are used to sharing a room, but that’s just the only way to configure things,” Burt says.
“Kurt has a whole room just for sewing,” Finn says. “If there’s space in his room for a whole second person and his stuff, couldn’t he put his sewing stuff down there instead?”
“Kurt’s real fussy about his sewing. He doesn’t like to take a chance on having to move a project just because it’s time for bed. Anyway, Kurt has a sewing room, and you have the yard!”
“Like… like a dog?” Finn asks.
“No, for stuff like football!” Burt says enthusiastically. “If Kurt needs a break and some privacy, he has somewhere to go, and so will you.”
“But I can’t sleep out there! I need a room, my own room, for sleeping and other… other… other sleep-type stuff,” Finn says. “I already have to give up my whole house.”
“Now Finn.” Burt sighs. “I hear what you aren’t saying, but I’d really hoped you wouldn’t be like this.”
“Be like what?”
“There’s absolutely no reason you and Kurt can’t sleep in the same space,” Burt says firmly.
“But… privacy!” Finn says.
Burt frowns. “I’m pretty sure that’s what Kurt calls a code word for something else. Now, he’ll be here in about five minutes, if you want to talk to him about all this.”
Finn huffs. “I can’t talk to Kurt about privacy, Burt.”
“Hmm.” Burt looks even more disapproving. “Well, you can ask him what you asked me about the sewing room, if you like.”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Finn says. “If he’ll listen.”
“Of course he will,” Burt says, patting Finn’s shoulder. “You can wait in the office. He always heads there first.”
“Yeah, okay,” Finn says, sighing as he heads towards the office. When he opens the door to walk in, Kurt is already in the office.
“Oh, hello, Finn,” Kurt says. “I didn’t know you’d be here. Did your mom’s car need some work?”
“Uh. I didn’t think you were gonna be here for a few minutes,” Finn says.
“Oh, Dad probably forgot which day of the week it was,” Kurt says. “What did you need?”
“I, uh. Can we talk about the whole room thing?” Finn asks, already bracing himself for Kurt’s response.
“I’m not giving you any hints about the room design,” Kurt says almost playfully, wagging his finger at Finn.
“No, I don’t want hints about room design,” Finn says. “I want to talk about you maybe moving your sewing stuff down there instead.”
“There wouldn’t be—oh.” Kurt stops and purses his lips. “I knew you’d want me to give up my sanctuary just so you wouldn’t have to sleep in the same room as me! It’s sad, Finn, that your prejudices are so transparent. Wanting me to give up my sewing room, my mother’s sewing room, when it makes far more sense for the two of us to share my bedroom!”
“How does it make more sense? You have two rooms right now! You would still have a room-and-a-half if I moved down there!”
“I remember my mother sewing in that room!” Kurt says. “My father knows that. I can’t believe he’d think it was okay for you to even ask me this!”
“Why can’t anybody see how unfair all of this is!” Finn says.
“Unfair to whom?” Kurt asks. “Aren’t you happy for your mother?”
“This is all going too fast,” Finn says. “Nobody’s stopping to think about anybody else!”
“I’m certainly thinking about everyone else. Your mother and my father are very happy, and I’m putting a great deal of effort into redecorating,” Kurt says. “If you’d look past your prejudice against people like me, I’m sure you’d be able to see how this is a good thing for all of us!”
“Good for you, maybe! You get everything you want!”
“I can’t believe you’d try so hard to turn this against me!” Kurt says, glaring at Finn. “I thought nearly a year of glee club would have taught you otherwise!”
“You aren’t listening!” Finn says loudly. “You never listen! You don’t listen to anybody! You just do whatever you want and you don’t even care about anybody else.”
“You’re talking about yourself now!”
“See! You’re doing it right now!”
“You’re the only one who has a problem with this, Finn. I knew you would, when Dad told me.”
“I just want my privacy! There’s nothing wrong with wanting some privacy!” Finn says.
“Oh, grow up!” Kurt says, walking towards the door to the rest of the shop.
“You grow up!” Finn shouts after him. Kurt sighs and flips the back of his hand towards Finn dismissively, leaving the office with a second loud, exasperated sigh. Finn sort of roar-yells, and then he storms out of the office and then out of the tire shop. On the walk back home, he calls Puck.
“What’s up?” Puck says when he answers.
“They’re the worst,” Finn says. “They’re both the worst, Puck.”
“Talking to Burt didn’t go so well?”
“No. He made me talk to Kurt, and they both said the same thing as Mom, that I’m, like, intolerant!”
Puck snorts. “If they only knew, right?”
“Yeah, right?” Finn says. “I keep telling them I just want privacy.”
“But since Kurt’s so willing to give up his privacy, they don’t get it,” Puck says, a little bitterly. “The better to see you with.”
“It’s so creepy. Isn’t it? Like, I’m not making that up, right? It’s creepy and weird.”
“Nah, you’re not. It’s definitely creepy,” Puck says. “It’s even creepier when you remember they don’t think you could be anything but straight.”
“Should I tell them?” Finn asks. “I mean, I know we talked about all the reasons why not to, and I still think they’re all really good reasons, but…”
“Do you think they’d believe you?” Puck asks skeptically.
“I mean, who would lie about that?”
“Well, if they think you’re all intolerant and stuff, they might think you’re just trying to make them stop thinking that. That’s what my mom’d think.”
“I just want to be able to make out with you without people bothering us,” Finn says.
“Yeah. I know. Me too,” Puck says. “You want me to do something drastic?”
“No, I don’t want you to get in trouble. I’ll come up with something.”
“I could, I don’t know. Flood Kurt’s basement?”
“Burt would probably call the cops,” Finn says.
“I wouldn’t get caught!” Puck says.
“He would know,” Finn says, feeling like he wants to cry or punch something. “You want to come over and make out?”
“Yeah.” Puck’s mattress squeaks in the background like it always does when he moves fast. “Carole’s at work, right?”
“Yeah. If you meet me at the house, we probably have time to do the,” Finn lowers his voice, walking faster, “thing.”
“Yeah, okay.” Finn can hear Puck’s door shutting. “And just tell Carole I’m spending the night, so I’m not in a closet again.”
“Maybe we can do the tongue thing, too.”
“We can lock the door and do whatever you want, all night,” Puck says.
“Yeah, if I’m quiet.”
“I can keep you quiet.”
“Yeah, okay, see you in like five minutes,” Finn says, hanging up and starting to jog towards home.
***
Puck isn’t one hundred percent sure about the timeline for the planned move, but he figures he only has a few days before Carole starts packing Finn’s stuff in the boxes in the corner of his room for him, which means Puck needs to make a move of some kind. He knows Kurt’s schedule, because he’s been keeping an eye on him most of the school year, so at the beginning of third period, Puck detours to the bathroom that he knows Kurt will be at.
“I’ll be late to class,” Puck hisses to Finn.
“Huh?” Finn says.
“Just pretend to be me when she calls roll,” Puck says, then heads down the hall.
“Yeah, okay,” Finn calls after him.
Puck waves over his shoulder and cuts down a side hall, speeding up as the hall starts to empty, and he sees the bathroom door swinging shut as he nears it. He smiles a little to himself. “Perfect,” he whispers, then ducks behind some lockers when one classroom door opens. After it closes again, he slips into the bathroom and leans over. Satisfied that Kurt’s the only one in the bathroom, judging by the some-kind-of-reptile-skin shoes in one stall, Puck leans against the door. He doesn’t say anything, and Kurt apparently doesn’t realize he’s there.
“We’re going to talk,” Puck says flatly.
“I’m not talking to you in the bathroom, Puck,” Kurt says. “Go away.”
“Why not? It’s private, it doesn’t smell that bad, and we’re both here.”
“I’m occupied,” Kurt hisses.
“Don’t care, since you don’t seem to understand boundaries,” Puck says. “You’re going to tell your dad that you changed your mind, and you’d be happy to move your sewing stuff downstairs.”
“I will do no such thing,” Kurt says, “and you really should mind your own business.”
“Finn is my business. What you’re doing is totally creeper-stalker material. If Tina had come to you in the fall and told you Artie’d set up his dad with Tina’s mom, and now they were moving in together, and Tina had to share a room with Artie, what would you have told her? Probably to run like hell and pitch a fit, ‘cause it’s weird and wrong.”
“That’s a completely different situation.”
“How is it different? Because Tina turned out to actually be interested, and Finn’s not at all interested in you, so that makes it different? That just makes you even more of a creep.”
Kurt sniffs indignantly. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about, though it sounds like you’re implying I’m some sort of— of— of predatory gay.”
“Well, you kinda are, when it comes to Finn,” Puck says, shrugging a little. “But you’re young. You have time to escape it and be like Scrooge. Mend your ways.”
“This move is happening, Puck, whether you approve of it or not,” Kurt says.
“Finn doesn’t want it to happen. Doesn’t that count for anything with any of you?”
“Maybe being forced out of his comfort zone will help him with his prejudice.”
“Being forced to live with someone who wants to see him naked isn’t going to do anything positive for him, even if he were having issues with ‘prejudice’,” Puck says. “The three of you are so damn sure you know what he’s thinking, even when he tells you that’s not it. It’s disgusting.”
“You’re the one who’s disgusting. The two of you are so homophobic, you think everything is just some big gay scheme to get in your pants,” Kurt says. “Now, will you please leave me alone?”
“And you’re so convinced the world is out to get you because you’re gay, you haven’t considered it could just be because you’re a horrible person,” Puck retorts. “No. I’ll walk you to class. Make sure you’re safe, since you seem convinced there are homophobes lurking behind every locker. Boo!”
“I always knew you were a bully, but this is a new low,” Kurt says. He flushes and opens the stall door, glaring at Puck as he pushes by him to the sink to wash his hands.
“Telling someone the truth doesn’t make them a bully, or you’d be one for sure, with all your ‘fashion advice’ and shit,” Puck says. He opens the bathroom door and holds it, gesturing with the other hand. “After you.”
“You’re a despicable person, Noah Puckerman,” Kurt says, hate practically oozing out of him. “You’re despicable, and you’re not going to change anything.”
“Projection,” Puck says with a shrug. “Don’t whine to me when your scheme doesn’t work.”
“We’ll just see about that.”
Puck laughs. “I guarantee you that I can predict the outcome better than you. I just hope it’s humiliating in some way.”
“All I’m trying to do is be a supportive son for my father. Maybe if you really cared about Finn, you could help him do the same for his mother,” Kurt says. He points at a classroom door. “This is my classroom.”
“Nah, my job’s to support Finn, not help Kurt Hummel be a creep,” Puck says with a smirk. “Learn lots, Kurt!”
Kurt gives Puck one last hateful look, like he’d really like to flip Puck off, before he storms into his class. Puck leans against the nearby lockers, shaking his head a little. He’s pretty sure that if they were in an action movie, this’d be the part where they admit diplomacy or whatever has failed, and it’s time to go to war—whatever that means in this situation.
***
“It’s time to saddle up and ride to war,” Puck says.
“I don’t know what that means, ‘cause I don’t have a horse,” Finn says, closing his locker and turning to look at Puck. “Is it a, you know,” he lowers his voice, “sex thing? ‘Cause if it’s a sex thing, I’m in.”
Puck grins and raises his eyebrows. “We can do that, too, but I meant about Kurt and the whole moving scheme. Diplomacy has failed.”
“Oh, so talking to him didn’t work?” Finn asks.
“No. He kept going between insisting there was no scheme and trying to tell me his scheme was going to work.”
“Did he say you were prejudiced? He says that word a lot, and so does Mom now.”
“And homophobic,” Puck says blandly.
“Yeah, that’s us, sooooo afraid of dudes that like dudes,” Finn says, letting himself laugh a little, because even though the situation is messed up, the fact that this is still the thing everybody is convinced is the reason is a little funny.
“Yeah, I really sensed a lot of fear from you last night,” Puck says. “But so you’re going to have to do something to really get their attention.”
“Yeah,” Finn sighs. “I kinda had an idea, but you’re not gonna like it. I don’t like it.”
“Yeah? Will it work?”
“I don’t know. It might, if I’m loud enough,” Finn says.
“Then maybe you have to,” Puck says. “What is it?”
“I think I gotta let them all think they’re right about me.”
“About—oh. Yeah.” Puck sighs and nods. “They’d believe it.”
“Yeah. I’ll probably have to say something pretty bad,” Finn says. “Like, maybe the f-word bad.”
“Make him refuse to share a room?”
“Exactly. Maybe I can make him think I’m awful enough he doesn’t even want to be around me.”
“He seems ready to believe a lot of things, doesn’t he? I don’t like it, but you have to do something,” Puck says.
“Yeah,” Finn says sadly. “I guess it’s the only way.”
“No one can say you didn’t try,” Puck says, looking around briefly before throwing his arm over Finn’s shoulders. “When?”
“Tomorrow, I guess? It’s when Kurt’s suppose to show me the room.”
Puck shudders a little. “I hope it’s not decorated like one of your mom’s movies.”
“I hope he didn’t spend too much money on it,” Finn says. “‘Cause that’s just gonna make it worse.”
“You didn’t ask him to spend the money. Or give him money to spend. I’ll still make sure my phone’s not on silent, though.”
“Okay,” Finn says.
“At least it’ll be over,” Puck says. “That’ll be something.”
“Yeah, and stuff can go back to normal.”
Puck laughs. “Well, as normal as it gets, anyway.”
***
Puck taps his phone against the bed, looking over at the clock again. He doesn’t know the exact schedule for the evening, obviously, and he doesn’t know how well Finn’ll be able to put his plan into action, but he knows it’ll be soon. Puck stopped playing Mario twenty minutes earlier, because he wanted to make sure he heard the phone ring, and now he’s bored, jumping at every noise his sister or his mom makes, even through the bedroom door.
When his phone finally rings in his hand, he jumps. He nearly drops it as he sits up and answers the call. “Finn?”
Finn sounds stuffy and a little out of breath, which Puck knows from years of experience means Finn has probably been crying. “Hey. So, I did it.”
“I’m sorry you had to,” Puck says. “What happened?”
“Burt kicked me out. He says I can’t live under his roof,” Finn says. “Mom’s gonna be so pissed, Puck.”
“Where are you?” Puck asks, sitting up.
“I’m walking. I don’t want to go back to my house. My mom’s packing stuff up.”
“Well, come here,” Puck says. “And we’ll figure out what to do next.”
“Okay. It didn’t go so good, Puck,” Finn says.
“Yeah. Nothing’s really been going good for you with them, though,” Puck says. “How far are you?”
“About fifteen minutes, I think.”
“Yeah, okay, I’ll walk towards you. You on Metcalf or Baxter?”
“Baxter.”
“Okay, heading that way,” Puck says, ending the call so he can pull on his shoes and call to his mom that he’ll be back. He can hear her saying something in response, but since it isn’t ‘stop right there’, he keeps going, heading over to Baxter and turning south. He doesn’t have to go too far before he can see Finn trudging slowly along the sidewalk, and Puck jogs the rest of the way towards him.
He turns and falls into step with Finn, putting his arm around him. Finn leans into him as they walk. Puck rubs Finn’s upper arm slowly. When he feels like Finn’s probably calm enough, he pats it once and then leaves his hand still.
“We can just hole up in my room, okay?” Puck says.
“Forever?” Finn asks.
“At least until we get hungry.”
“Okay,” Finn says. “Thanks. It made it better, knowing I could call you.”
Puck pokes Finn’s side gently with his other hand. “Even at 3 am.”
“Not this time, at least,” Finn says.
“Would have made it even weirder, but still you could.” Puck steers Finn the rest of the way back to Puck’s and into Puck’s bedroom, and as they sit down on Puck’s bed, he wonders if he should take Finn’s phone and turn it on silent, in case Carole tries to call. He does rearrange the pillows and lean back against them, pulling Finn with him.
“Burt heard me,” Finn says.
“Shit,” Puck says. “So Kurt never really reacted?”
“Well, he started to get upset, but then Burt was down there, and then Kurt was upset about that, so I don’t know that it made too much of a difference with Kurt,” Finn says. “I couldn’t even say it, Puck. I didn’t call him a name, I swear. I said it about the lamp.”
“It probably is ugly. Tell me about how it was decorated.”
“There was fabric, like, everywhere,” Finn says. “Hanging off everything!”
“Like… in the historical movies? Between buildings and stuff?”
“He said it was like some movie about somebody named Marlene.”
“The dog movie from last year?” Puck asks. “That’s weird.”
“Yeah, I don’t know. And it was all weird and too cozy, and there was this screen thing, but it didn’t really give any privacy,” Finn says. “And I tried to do like we talked about, but I couldn’t call him a name. Not that name. So I said the lamp and the couch were— well, I said they were faggy.”
“Yeah. I get it, why you couldn’t,” Puck says. “I wish I could still throw him in a dumpster.”
“And then Burt came down the stairs and said I couldn’t talk to Kurt like that, and he asked me if I would call Becky names, and he said I have hate in my heart.”
“Can I throw Burt in a dumpster?” Puck asks. “Please?”
“He told me I can’t live under his roof, which, I didn’t want to live there, but I was just trying to make Kurt stop liking me, not ruin everything for Mom,” Finn says.
“She didn’t tell you about any of this. Didn’t Kurt know about them dating before you? And the moving?” Puck says. “I mean it, I want to do something to them. All of them.” He knows he’s holding Finn too tightly, but he doesn’t relax his arms.
“Yeah, Kurt knew about all of it.”
“I’m sorry,” Puck says, kissing Finn’s forehead.
“Yeah, I know,” Finn says.
“Mom’ll let you spend the night.”
“You’re the best boyfriend,” Finn says, leaning against Puck and relaxing a little.
“I’m the only one you have to compare me with,” Puck says. “But I’ll take it.” He kisses Finn’s forehead again. “You want to make out or no?”
“Yeah, we can do it for a little while,” Finn says, “if it would make you happy.”
Puck laughs. “Just for me, huh?”
“I’m willing to, you know, make that kinda sacrifice.”
“You’re a giver,” Puck says, then kisses Finn. They make out for what feels like a long time, their hands under each other’s shirts, and Puck can tell Finn’s getting hard. “After everyone goes to sleep,” Puck whispers, “I’ll take care of that.”
“Like I said, I’ll just stay here forever,” Finn says.
“In my bed?”
“Yup.”
Puck shrugs a little. “Cool. Make out more?”
“Definitely,” Finn says.
They’ve barely started again, though, before Puck’s mom starts yelling something at him, and after a few seconds, he realizes it includes the words ‘Carole’s here’.
“Shit,” Puck says. “Your mom’s here.”
“Oh no!” Finn says, his eyes darting around the room in a panic. “Where can I hide? The closet?”
“It’s okay.” Puck tightens his arms around Finn again. “I’m right here. I’ll stay here. If you want to… we can tell her.”
“Yeah?” Finn asks. “You’d do that? For me?”
“Only if you want to. I don’t want you doing it ‘cause you think you have to.”
“Maybe we should.”
“Okay. Mom’s probably already sending your mom up here.”
“Okay. I’m ready,” Finn says. He doesn’t really look ready, but Puck doesn’t argue. Puck has enough time to straighten a little before his mom knocks on the door and pushes it open, and Carole steps in a moment later.
“Finn, you and I need to speak privately,” Carole says, her eyes red and a little puffy, just like how Finn’s do after he’s been crying.
“Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Puck,” Finn says, raising his chin like he’s trying to be brave.
“Are you sure you want to discuss this here?” Carole asks.
“I think probably I have more background than you do,” Puck says. “We’re good.”
“Yeah. I do,” Finn says.
“Burt told me what happened,” Carole begins. “Exactly what happened, and while I disagree with Burt’s equivalence, I’m still—”
“Are you going to listen to him now?” Puck says, trying not to sound too confrontational. “He tried so hard to talk to all three of you.”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Finn says, chin still bravely raised. “I tried to talk to you. I tried to talk to Burt, too, and to Kurt. The only thing I could do was try to make Kurt stop wanting me to share his room.”
“It was only meant to be temp—” Carole cuts herself off. “Boys?”
“What?” Finn asks.
“Are—” She begins, then stops. “Are you…?”
“With Puck?” Finn prompts.
“You’re sitting very intimately,” Carole says.
“Yeah, so, uh. About that,” Finn says. “Puck and me are kinda… boyfriends?” Puck snorts and squeezes his arms around Finn.
“Just a little bit?” Puck whispers in Finn’s ear.
“Okay, a lot boyfriends,” Finn says.
“I see,” Carole says, and Puck thinks it’s pretty good of him that he doesn’t laugh as Carole slowly sits down in his desk chair. “Well. This puts a different spin on things.”
“I’m not any of those things you guys keep saying,” Finn says. “I’m not prejudiced or homophobic or anything. I just don’t like Kurt like he likes me, but he won’t leave me alone. I keep trying to be his friend, but he’s creepy about it, Mom! He follows me around. He painted Rachel up all weird and put her in these tight clothes! He only got you and Burt together so he could be around me more!”
“It’s true,” Puck says. “Pretty much everyone in glee club knows it.”
“He—what? Purposely introduced Burt and me?” Carole asks. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I wanted you to be happy, and I thought maybe Kurt would get over it,” Finn says.
“Oh my goodness,” Carole says, looking shocked. “I really don’t know what to say.”
“Burt says I can’t live under his roof,” Finn says, “and I’m not living there in that room with Kurt, Mom, I’m just not. I can stay with Puck if I have to.”
Puck nods. “Yeah, you know Mom’d let him!”
“You’re not going to live with Puck,” Carole says, giving them both a mom-look. “And no, you can’t share a room with Kurt. We’ll go home and start unpacking those boxes I started packing.”
Finn sits up a little. “Really? We don’t have to move in there?” he asks.
“Really,” Carole says with a nod.
“The boxes can probably wait until the morning, though,” Puck suggests.
“Thank you, Mom,” Finn says. “What about Burt?”
“Burt and I don’t have to live together,” Carole says after a moment. “I don’t know beyond that, but I don’t want you to worry about it. And yes, Noah Puckerman, the boxes can wait twelve hours.”
“So I can stay the night at Puck’s house?” Finn asks. Carole nods. “And you’re not mad at me?”
“No, Finn, I’m not mad at you. I’m a bit upset with myself, but not you.”
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t want to mess stuff up with Burt, but nobody would listen to me,” Finn says.
“I know. I understand,” Carole says.
“I think she’s telling the truth,” Puck whispers to Finn. “She’s not mad at you.”
“I love you, Mom,” Finn says, then he puts his mouth close to Puck’s ear. “And you, too.”
“I love you too, Finn,” Carole says. She stands up. “I think I’ll stop and actually say hello to your mother before I go. I’ll see you tomorrow, Finn.”
“Bye, Mom. Thank you.”
“No, thank you,” Carole says, and then she leaves the room.
“See? We did it,” Puck says.
“So we’re, like, officially gay now,” Finn says. “That’s kinda cool, right?”
Puck laughs. “Yeah. You think we get some kind of special Facebook picture or something?”
“I don’t know. You want to get on your computer and change our relationship status?”
“Nah, I want to lock the door and take advantage of the fact we have some privacy.”
Finn grins. “Yeah, you’re right. We can update Facebook tomorrow.”