Work Text:
The sun didn't even get the chance to set before it was blocked out from the sky. That hadn't been an immediate concern, as for over an hour it was just heavy, dark clouds. Obviously, if it didn't immediately rain, then it basically never would, yeah?
Serena had just gotten out of the bathroom, finished styling his hair, when the first thunder boomed.
Gildarts whistled, flipping a page in his magazine. "That was a good one."
"Told 'ya." Acnologia took up less than half the couch they shared, that remaining space being granted to Gildarts' hellish positioning. He sipped the third cup of coffee since Serena first went to “get ready”. "Clouds that dark mean a big storm."
"We'd be getting absolutely soaked right now if we'd already gone out."
"Mhm."
Another page flip. Gildarts wasn't even reading at this point. "How long do you think it clears?"
The storm outside answered with first a flash coming through the window, followed by thunder double the volume of the last.
"Midnight, at the earliest," Acnologia translated.
Now Gildarts lowered his magazine just enough for his eyes to peer above it, towards Acno. He was staring out at a show playing on the tv that Gildarts knew he didn't give a damn about.
"You wanna tell him?"
Two different phones across the house blared with the obnoxious, jarring emergency alert tone - one on the other side of the hall, the other right behind Gildarts' head. Acno's suspiciously laid silent on the coffee table. Poor Acno tensed, his tinkering with the settings still not sparing his ears.
Neither of them moved to check on the notification, because in a second they'd-
Serena's just as obnoxious and jarring gasp carried down from the hall. "Flooding?!"
Okay, that's what was up. Thank you GSN - "God" Serena Network.
"He knows," Acnologia replied to Gildarts' earlier question.
Pitter-patting of Serena's feet overtook the pitter-patter of the rain on the windows. He dashed right in front of the tv, commanding the attention of them both. Aw, and he had just gotten the finishing touches of his floppy rabbit-ear ponytails. The sparkly suit was still emitting the heat of the ironing board, too.
"They just declared a flood warning!" Sticking out his brand-name shoes (not one Gildarts bothered to remember, it didn't even sound English), he emphasized. "There's no way I can get this leather wet! There'll be puddles everywhere even after the rain stops!"
"Among the other reasons we can't go out in a flood?" Gildarts snarked, setting his magazine down on his chest.
Serena hmphed. "I was just making it clear. After all, your drunk ass had to be pulled out of the snow five times last winter."
"The beer was good."
A finger was pointed at Acno. "He's actually gone out in a downpour before!"
Acno shrugged. "Someone kept whining we were out of red wine, and it 'wasn't white wine day'."
"That doesn't mean 'come home looking like a duckling saved from an oil spill'!!"
Gildarts snorted. That had been in the top ten "Acno coming home at 3 am from god knows where" moments for him. He didn't know how the guy did it, but it kept them on their toes, which was better than the last place Gildarts bunked. Er, lived. You lived with a wife, not bunked with her.
Over a decade ago now, Gildarts had been looking for a new place following a swift but emotionally damaging divorce. He never found out what he did wrong with Cornelia, and it almost made him swear off love entirely. But maybe it was exactly what needed to happen to him, since he found a "roommate needed" listing and applied. He wasn't bleeding for cash, he could get his own place himself with his salary from Fairy Tail Demolitions, but what he was broke in was company.
Serena and Acno had already known each other. In fact, they apparently went as far back as college, where they started as dormmates. Despite all the bickering they did, they also never seemed to be able to get rid of the other. Honestly, when Gildarts first moved in, he pegged them as lovers; the only reason he then doubted his initial assessment was the confusion on why lovers would be inviting a third roommate into the equation. Nope, they instead just had a harder time living alone than they did with each other. Why not find other people to move in with? For entirely opposite reasons, the duo had a hard time making other acquaintances - Serena being so overwhelming and Acno being so intimidating.
They'd rotated between five other roommates before Gildarts arrived. Given he was now on year 12, give or take, it was safe to say they found a keeper. For some reason, he could handle them both individually and them both as a frenemies couple. Being a veteran of the Fairy Tail Demolitions company tended to make you immune like that. At least neither Serena or Acno went to jail for a misdemeanor. Or a felony. It was weird how many people Gildarts knew who went to jail, and none of them were Acno. Including himself.
It was also safe to say that Gildarts found a forever home for a mutt like himself. Roof over his head, didn't have to pay the full rent, always had someone nearby when the haunting hour depression kicked in... And the "little favors" turned "stress-relief" turned "okay guess we're a thing now" hadn't hurt his already bruised heart, either. Gildarts' assumption that Acno and Serena were a thing had ended up being a premonition - and still that had been half wrong, since the final result included him.
He hadn't thought he was into men before. Barely ever crossed his mind. He'd been a hot-blooded casanova until Cornelia, and then a heartbroken shell chasing bar babes after. And then one night, about two years since moving in, he came home drunk and wanted somewhere to sleep that was way closer than his bedroom. He woke up from his dreams of big-titty babes with his face deep between Acno's exposed peccs on the couch, who didn't say anything as the hung-over Gildarts blushed and stumbled for more reasons than just booze. Gildarts found out he was into some men. Acno's rate of wearing a full set of clothing steadily declined.
The way he "got" Serena was way worse, though. One night, he got fed up with Serena's rantings about situations where he'd clearly been in the wrong. He made an admittedly stupid joke that he had something in his pants to make Serena shut up. Serena did not take it as a joke. Gildarts decided he wasn't joking. Gildarts didn't tell another joke for the next... 7 years now.
Once Gildarts had wooed them both individually, it was relatively swift that they got together themselves. All the underlying, unresolved tension had been there - they just needed a reason to get over themselves, and Gildarts had been happy to be that reason. He was the ooey, gooey center to their burnt crackers - somehow the universe had roasted the wrong part of the smores. They still made it work. Again, a lot of that was thanks to Gildarts.
Tonight being a prime example. A special, limited-time promotional drink was being offered at Serena's favorite club - a pretty expensive, fancy place for a club, one that Gildarts would never be able to enter without Serena. He was very insistent that the color and flavor suited Acno, which meant he was very insistent that Acno go and try it to prove him right, which meant he was very insistent they all go out and turn it into a date night.
Acno must have some relationship with storms beyond being able to predict their intensity and length, though, since he really hated going out anywhere that wasn't a store or empty lot. Even when it came to necessities like healthcare, Gildarts or Serena (preferably both) had to drag him out like a fussy cat. Claws included. Hell, one time they "tricked" him like the internal toddler he was by neglecting to mention that the first stop on a cross-country road trip would be the local dentist's office. Spending the first few hours on the road with a loopy Acno, however, had been a doozy that Gildarts would gladly repeat, if Acno hadn't learned to be observant from then on.
Point being, Serena wanted a night out and Acno did not; Acno was glad it was raining and Serena was not. Glorious middle man that he was - enjoying going out for drinks but being just as satisfied staying on the couch - Gildarts had to turn this conflict of interests into a "magic enough" night for all three of them.
Lifting his body off the couch - and parts of it off Acno - Gildarts stretched out and let out a dad-loud yawn to mainly get Serena's attention over his dramatic pouting.
"What was the special drink again? I can probably make a substitute."
"You're going to mix a replica?"
"Something close enough at least." Serena continued to give a doubtful glare. "What? I've drunk a lot of drinks over the decades, and watched most of them get made. I could probably do it."
"That is not how that works."
"It'll work." As he passed Serena on the way to the kitchen, he patted him on the back. "So plop on the couch and start pulling up streaming. You'll get the honors, 'til we pass out."
Raising an eyebrow, Serena asked, "Watch streaming all night?"
Gildarts pointed over his shoulder towards Acno. "He hopped up on enough caffeine to carry him through a party. Can't leave him alone until it's aaaall outta his system."
Acno grinned back at them both - the briefest display of a true madman.
As Gildarts made his attempt as a bartender and chef in the kitchen, he was at least glad that he wasn't hearing any loud bickering from the living room. Or whining. That was a good sign that things were turning around for tonight. He almost thought he heard a bit of a yelp... Ah, it was probably fine. At some point he started hearing the squeals and theme song of a trashy reality tv show Serena kept up with, so maybe that was it.
When he came back nearly a half hour later, bringing snacks along with the drink, he found Serena had taken the middle seat. And Acno's limbs, for lack of a better term, had taken Serena. He'd shifted to a position more like how Gildarts had been "sitting" earlier, laying one leg out across the couch - and behind Serena. One arm was gripping him from behind while the other rested near Serena's leg. Serena leaned into this casual embrace, fitting in the crook between Acno's arm and neck while letting Acno's chin rest on top of his head - no complaint on how it might ruffle up his delicately crafted hair.
After setting drink cups on the table and snack bowls on laps, Gildarts joined this arrangement on the other side of Serena. He let an arm go behind Serena as he leaned in, cheekily pinching Acno on the neck before retreating to cup Serena's arm to avoid any retaliatory bites. Although Acno hardly registered to it, too hypnotized by the verbal catfight currently unfolding on the screen. Something that Gildarts discovered - that only really shocked him for a few seconds when he first did - was how entertained Acno was with other people's interpersonal drama. Specifically the type he wasn't wrapped up in. Reality shows delivered that in extravagant shades in the audio-visual department. Between that and the rain sounds - which Gildarts had heard coming out of Acno's earbuds before - he must've been in some Acno-specific bliss.
Taking note of how Serena carefully held his snack in his hand, aiming to avoid crumbs getting on him, Gildarts threw in, "If it weren't for tonight's twists, I would've been completely stunned by you walking in, by the way."
For a moment, Serena blinked up at him, before it sank in. The returning smile was a bit more awkward than his usual confidence. He plucked a part of the sleeve as he spoke about the suit.
"Ah, this? I fell in love with how the fabric felt. Hard to find flashy things that aren't also itchy."
"That's why I avoid 'flashy'," said Acno, the wearer of clothes that never matched - in color or in style.
"Maybe I'd only be half upset as I am at how tonight's turned out if it weren't for getting into this outfit," Serena continued, eyes looking a bit wistful as he kept staring at his own sleeves. "I hate how busy work has gotten - for all three of us. I want to go out more, so I can actually dress more."
"Then just do that."
Gildarts had started with patting Serena's arm, preparing to say his own piece, when Acno surprised them both. They both stared back at him - him still watching the screen, as if he wasn't even part of the conversation. After a few moments, he seemed to sense the eyes on him, looking back in an accusatory "what?" manner while building on what he last said.
"If you like it, then just keep wearing it - no waiting for 'special nights' or whatever."
"But work has-"
"Wear it here, then. We spend a lot of time here."
Serena and Gildarts blinked back at him, Gildarts a fair bit longer. It was yet another thing of Acno's that was initially surprising, but made more sense as it sank in. Yeah, he was the type of guy who just wore what he liked (again, nothing ever matching, just threw clothes on for the sake of having clothes on); but still, they were caught off guard that the suggestion was aimed at a fancy, sparkly suit that he'd usually make a snide remark about - if the thunderstorm hadn't interrupted them, that is. Not helping was how blunt he could be with his thoughts, not really getting the concept of elaborating without needing to be poked for one.
As Gildarts was still lagging behind on the processing, Serena was already beginning to smirk like a feline. His own interpretation of Acno's sentiments had settled in.
"You'd like to be graced with this outfit on me more often?"
Now Acno blinked, needing a second to register. "If it's what makes you comfortable or happy or whatever. Just do what you want. This is our space to do that, y'know."
"Oh, no, I get it." The smile widened. "I'll keep aiming to please your eyes~"
Turning his face away with a groan, Acno mumbled something out that contained the word "fuck", possibly aimed at Serena. Red blossoming at the tips of his ears gave what must be going on with the rest of his head away. Well, if it was going to be hard for him to enjoy his petty drama show with the backdrop of storm ambience in that state...
Gildarts leaned further in, fully pressing Serena up against Acno, and tugged at Acno's low collar. He refused to budge, but Gildarts had expected that. This part was just for show.
Once he got the physical message across, he murmured, "Someone's gonna start nibbling if that neck keeps being exposed like that."
Something kicked him from behind as Acno whirled his head back. Teeth were on display as he shot back, "And that someone should know I bite back."
Gildarts’ own teeth showed as he grinned back. "And first."
"My ear's still got the mark to prove it, I bet," Serena added, bringing a hand up to wriggle the ear closest to Acno. Oh, so that's what the yelp was.
Acno's eyes trailed back to him. "Keep talking like that, and you'll have only worn your fairy clothes for an hour tonight." Nevermind. He got in one jab for the minimum quota.
"That's fine. I'll just put it back on tomorrow. Somebody gave me good advice recently."
A hand went down to Serena's bottom-most button, close to his waist. "Are you sure about that? I'm not exactly educated on how to handle 'proper dress and undress routine'." He said that last part in a subtle but arrogant mimicry of a certain someone, quoted like one who's heard it enough times in that exact way to have it ingrained.
Gildarts kept letting them bounce off each other, Acno right where he wanted him. The first time Acno had pulled this kinda talk on him, when they first were entertaining an expansion on the concept of "roommates", he'd completely caught Gildarts off guard - even despite Gildarts being on board with exploration. And then Acno had the audacity to act caught off guard to Gildarts being caught off guard, like full on baffled as to where things went wrong and being surprised the answer was "immediately, right off the bat". Apparently his unique, innovative flirting style was "cornered wild animal". Eh, but once Gildarts got used to it and the subtleties of parsing it out from Acno's usual aggression, he'd learned to see it as a funny way of "cute".
Of course, Serena had been fluent in "Acno-speak" for as long as Gildarts knew them both. Meanwhile, Gildarts had earned his mastery through years of careful, dedicated study.
"Then I guess for tonight, I'll have to put on a demonstration," Serena purred.
"Not the kinda show I thought I was making popcorn for," Gildarts finally spoke. "But I'm not complaining."
His hand went to rub the leg still stretched out behind their bodies, the one that had been in perfect position to kick him earlier. Under his fingers, he felt the muscles tense, but Acno didn't pull back.
"That won't be a problem, will it?" he mused as he kept trailing up and down. "I know someone here isn't too fond of dancing."
Said "someone" snorted. "It's not the dancing. I like seeing the little 'god' dance. I hate having to put on new clothes and drive 40 minutes before I can."
As Serena slid out of their combined grasps, Gildarts said, "Oh, don't you worry, we'll fix that."
Because even without leaving the house, this trio still knew how to end a date night exhausted.
