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“Stars, you’re kidding right?” Seventeen-year-old Cinder asked her then-boyfriend at the time.
He smiled like a moron and giggled. “Darlin’ I know what I’m doin’. Have some trust, will ya’?”
Cinder sighed, though he was an idiot, she adored when he faked a deep southern drawl. At least she did before he annoyed her to death.
Naive, dumb, desperate teenager Cinder.
Blue eyes sparkling up at her, he turned on the bike and sped away without adjusting his helmet all the way first.
“Wait! Your helmet!” She cried but he was too far gone.
By the time he came back, she was waiting for him with a grumpy expression on her face.
“What’s with the frown?” He asked, innocently raising an eyebrow.
She scowled. “That was dangerous. Don’t do that again.”
He smiled, ignoring her. “That was glorious, thanks for fixing up the bike for me, hey.”
“Thorne, I’m being serious.”
“So am I.” He laughed. Then he tried to kiss her. She dodged his mouth and backed away.
“What’s with the attitude, babe?”
“Don’t call me that!” She whipped around and walked away.
He grabbed her hand and turned her back around. “Seriously, what’d I do now?”
“What do you mean ‘what I do now?’”
“I mean, you’re always mad at me for something-“
“I told you why I’m mad at you, and you don’t listen to me!” She cried. Stars above, she wanted to slap this guy.
“Yeah, and it’s stupid!-“ She actually slapped him. “Hey! What the hell?!” He spat out.
“I’m done, Thorne. I hate this relationship and I hate you-“
“WHY?! WHAT’D I DO?!”
“Don’t cut me off.” Cinder lifted a gloved finger and glared at him into silence. He felt her quiet threat and quieted down. “You never listen to me and you always do what you want. I’m done trying to mother you around all the time.”
He stared at her for a moment. Then he said the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard in an argument before. “Aw, come on. Y’know I got mommy issues.”
She yelled curses at him and broke up with him. Then she walked away without turning back.
“You’re kidding, he actually said that?” Kai said, giddy like a mother gossiping on Facebook.
Twenty-seven-year-old Cinder nodded. “Yup.”
“Come on! At least it was funny!” Thorne said, scrambling for a defense.
Kai began to choke with laughter. “You are SO embarrassing, dude!”
Thorne scowled. “You’re not much better.”
Kai cocked his head as if he sensed a challenge. “I’m a better boyfriend, though.”
“Okay, let’s not go there.” Iko crawled towards the middle of their circle where they sat on the floor. Iko sensed some sort of animosity going on, one that Cinder definitely missed.
“Go where?” Asked Thorne innocently.
“Jealousy wars.” Iko said without explaining.
Kai scrunched his eyebrows. “What jealousy? No one’s jealous, I mean, how could I?”
Iko side-glanced at Cinder who was playing with the rug. Oh, why couldn’t this girl comfort her own boyfriend before his mind spiraled with jealousy? He only found out about Cinder and Thorne tonight because Cinder never thinks of it as important. Telling your partner that you dated your current best friend that you still hang out with often is pretty important. At least to Iko, it was. And she had the sense it was pretty important to Kai too.
“I’m hungry! Scarlet!!! Hurry!!!” Iko whined.
“What am I, your personal chef? Give me a second.” Scarlet yelled back.
Iko sniffed at the insult. “Sorry!” She cried. Kai and Thorne laughed about some separate joke. Good, it didn’t seem to affect them that much.
Yet, throughout the whole night, Iko couldn’t help but notice how Kai would watch Cinder talk with Thorne, and when during those interactions he would get close to Cinder and just stand there. How he made a face when Cinder sat next to Thorne at dinner. How he offered to help Cinder with every action she made. How he kept interrupting Thorne when he talked to her. Thank the stars Cress wasn't here. Who knows how that tiny overthinker would rack her brain?
When it was time to leave, Cinder and Kai were the first to leave. She hugged everyone goodbye, including Thorne. To everyone else, including the ones hugging, it looked like a normal embrace. To Kai, it felt as if Thorne’s hands were a little too low on her back. He completely forgot Thorne had Cress, whom he absolutely adored, waiting back home.
The drive to Kai’s apartment was spent in comfortable silence, at least to Cinder. Kai’s mind kept working itself, saying not to worry, nothing was going on! That was ten years ago. It was also saying that if they had feelings for each other once, they could have it again.
Oh, but they did have feelings for each other. Feelings of familial love. But Kai refused to acknowledge that. Poor guy was always self-sabotaging himself.
What did she even see in that douchebag anyways? She kept commenting on his blue eyes and his recklessness. Kai had brown eyes and was quite precautious. They were so different.
“Hey, darling?” He murmured while they were stopped at a light. She looked at him.
“What’s up?” She asked.
“Nothing, I just never thought you and Thorne never would’ve dated. You guys are basically like siblings.”
She cringed. “We are. That’s what makes that whole situation horrible. One of my biggest regrets.”
“I know. But how did you even… I don’t know how to phrase this.” The light turned green.
“Fall for him?” She groaned. “Aces, I don’t even know. I think I never did actually, and I misread my feelings for him. They were supposed to be platonic, that’s why romance didn’t, and never will, work out for us.”
She smiled at him, but he continued to worry his lip. “What’s wrong?” She asked.
“Nothing.” He said said non-reassuringly. They pulled into the apartment complex parking lot.
“You sure?” She hesitated before continuing as he parked. “You aren’t jealous, are you?”
“NO!” He jumped, slamming the brakes. She yelped as her body flew forward. He set the gears in park and apologized.
Cinder laughed at the revelation, even when he opened the door for her, and stared with discontent. “Kai, I can’t believe it!” She snorted. “You’re jealous of Thorne!”
“I’m not!” He yelped, helping her out of the car. “Never say that again.” Him? Kai Prince? Jealous? Unlikely. Jealous of Carswell Thorne? Highly unlikely.
She kept teasing him until they reached his unit. As they walked in, Kai kept trying to think of ways to convince her he wasn’t jealous when she calmed down.
“There’s nothing to be jealous of, Kai.” She murmured, suddenly getting close to him.
He gulped as she smiled. She was so pretty, it almost hurt him. Kai didn’t even think twice when he pressed her against the door and kissed her.
Cinder made a surprised sound that he muffled with his mouth before getting lost in the kiss. He moved his hands up and down her body with the pace of their movements. When they sped up, he squeezed her waist and kissed her deeper, enough to manufacture another sound out of her. He couldn’t help his smile, effectively breaking their kiss. She smiled back up at him.
An idea sprouted in the corner of his mind that he subconsciously chose to act on. Once they caught their breath, he moved to the length of her neck. Kai did this often, and Cinder noted it as one of his favorite ‘moves’. She wasn’t wrong.
This time, though, as pressed himself against her he murmured: “I bet he didn’t kiss you like this, right?”
The vibrations of his voice were deep enough to send shivers down her body. “No one ever has, Kai.” Cinder was barely able to whisper back. Her hand slid up to the base of his neck where she absent-mindedly pulled on the baby strands there.
He chuckled against her skin, she held on to him tighter. “I hope no one ever does. Besides me, of course.” He said breathlessly, too preoccupied with pleasing her.
He began to kiss her again but Cinder froze. She couldn’t tell what about his phrasing threw her off, but some part of it did. It knocked right out of that ‘kissing headspace’ or zone, whatever you call the haze you’re in while making out.
He didn’t get the hint and continued to kiss her neck, wrapped in his desire.
“Kai?” She started. He didn’t budge. “Kai, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.”
He froze, immediately pulling away. “What happened?” He panicked as his brow furrowed as he continued to hold her near to him.
“Nothing!” She scrambled, noticing the hurt look on his face. “Just give me a second.”
“What’d I do?” He asked, practically begging her for an answer with his eyes.
Cinder blinked. Virtually nothing about their relationship reminded her of the disaster that was her and Thorne, but his little ‘What’d I do?’ was oddly similar to Thorne and their breakup day.
Except when Thorne said it, he was accusatory and angry. Kai looked like a kicked puppy.
She smiled, trying to reassure him by rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “I know you feel about me, and that you love-”
“Endlessly, I love you eternally, darling.” He butt in.
She gave him a knowing glance that told him to let her finish. “You love me endlessly, got it. And I love kissing you, don’t get me wrong. You’re a very good kisser.”
Kai smiled proudly. She continued. “But I don’t want you to kiss me like you have something to prove.”
He cocked his head, confused. “I don’t understand.”
She sighed. “I don’t know how to say this. Bottom line: you’re jealous and you want to prove to me that you’re better than my small list of exes.”
Kai was speechless, a rarity amongst his characteristics.
She squeezed his cheeks with both hands. “Trust me, Kai. I already know you’re better than all of them. You don’t have to prove it to me.” Cinder rubbed his arms, pleading with her eyes. “Just kiss me.”
He chewed on his lip, a habit he picked up from her. “Just kiss you?”
“Yeah, just kiss me.” He was still confused but was trying not to seem like he was. She could tell. “I just want to get this out; I also get jealous sometimes.”
He sputtered. “Of what?!”
“Your not-so-small list of exes.” She said with a raised eyebrow.
He softened, petting her sides. “Oh, Love, there’s nothing to be jealous of.”
“Even when I don’t look like that one model you dated? I was thinking about curling my hair like hers once.”
“No, of course not! You don’t have to change anything about yourself. The way you are is the reason I fell in love with you.”
Cinder sighed dramatically. “How do I know that I’m better for you than her? How do I prove that to you?”
He leaned closer to her, trying to convince her of what she already knew. “You don’t have to prove anything to-” He paused, suddenly shutting his eyes.
“Oh, I see.” He said, finally. He dug his head into the crook of her neck like an embarrassed ostrich.
A ridiculous smile broke out on her face. “You see, babe?” She laughed, petting his hair.
“I’m sorry.” He said, muffled by her skin.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” She kissed his ear. “I forgive you regardless.”
He pulled away and flashed her with sparkling puppy-dog eyes. “In that case, can I kiss you again?”
She smiled. “Of course.”