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I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
Had he said those words?
Had someone else said them to him?
Had he only dreamt about them? Did he even sleep?
Could he even hear? Could he even talk?
He was pretty sure that he’d talked to someone.
That’s right. Endeavour said he’d be here to talk.
Every. Single. Day.
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE-
Are you looking at me now, Dad?
Was he looking?
He was.
Was he?
Was Dad even real?
Where was Mum?
Where was Natsu-kun?
Where was Fuyumi-chan?
Where was-
Was-
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
Ah.
There was Endeavour.
Dad, look!
He was looking. Blue eyes, the same colour as his.
Right?
Did he still have eyes?
Was he talking?
Was he cold?
Was he in pain?
No, he didn’t even remember what pain felt like.
Was this water?
No, that wasn’t right.
Could he breathe?
What was that sound?
Beep. Beep.
Mum?
Dad?
Help me-
It burns-
Hot-
Hot-
I still haven’t-
“Touya-nii?”
Why was the masterpiece talking to him?
His replacement.
Disgusting.
No-
That wasn’t right.
Was it?
I’m sorry.
Where was-
Don’t leave me.
I’m sorry.
Mum?
Why did her face look like that?
Why was it burned?
Had Endeavour done that?
Piece of shit.
Had he?
Had she always looked like that?
No.
Her hair was shorter.
Had someone burned her hair?
Endeavour’s face was also burned.
Good.
He was always looking.
Good.
Was Mum talking?
Maybe.
Why was she with him?
She was weak. He’d always known.
No, you’re full of shit-
Don’t leave me.
I’m sorry.
Where was Natsu-kun?
Was he dead?
Was he dead, just like Touya?
Did they build a shrine for him, just like they did for Touya?
Did they care more about Natsku-kun?
Had they already made a replacement for Natsu-kun?
Fuyumi-chan?
Why did her face look like that?
Why was it burned?
Had Endeavour done that?
Piece of shit.
Had he?
Had she always looked like that?
No.
But Endeavour’s face was also burned.
Fuyumi-chan couldn’t have done that. She didn’t have fire.
Was Fuyumi-chan talking?
Maybe.
Why was she next to him?
She was weak. He’d always known.
No, you’re full of shit-
Don’t leave me.
I’m sorry.
“Touya-nii.”
Why was the masterpiece talking to him?
His replacement.
Dis-
No.
Stop.
Come to gloat again?
Had he just said that?
Who had said that?
“I’m not gloating.”
He needed to listen. This was important.
Why was it important?
Was it because-
Because-
“I’m starting my third year at UA soon.”
UA? Some shitty school that sent kids to war.
Some shitty school that produced more heroes that wouldn’t do shit.
“I’m going to become a hero, Touya-nii.”
Of course the masterpiece was going to become one. That’s why he’d been created.
Dad would look at his little hero masterpiece forever.
“But I’m not going to be like the old man.”
Like who?
Dad?
Was he looking?
“I’m not giving up on you, Touya-nii.”
Hah?
Did the replacement want to replace him harder? What was this shit?
“I can’t be a hero if I can’t even save my own brother.”
Saving? He didn’t need saving. What was this shit?
Was Endeavour looking?
He should burn the replacement right here, right now.
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE-
What kind of face would Dad make?
What kind of face would Dad make if his masterpiece was turned to ash?
Right here, right now.
I’m sorry.
Had he said those words?
Had someone else said them to him?
“I know.”
What did the replacement know? He didn’t know shit.
Dad had always looked at the masterpiece.
Always.
Dad wasn’t looking at him-
“I’ll be back, Touya-nii.”
Don’t leave me.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
“I know.”
Endeavour’s face was burned.
Good.
He was always looking.
Good.
Where was Natsu-kun?
Don’t leave me.
I’m sorry.
“Touya-nii?”
Why was-
“Are you going to be at my graduation?”
Graduation? School?
He hadn’t been to school since-
Since-
It burns-
Hot-
Hot-
Help me.
Somebody.
Please.
“It’s going to be in a year from now.”
A year?
When was that?
What day was it?
What month?
Was it cold outside?
Was it cold inside?
Was this water?
No, that wasn’t right.
Was it?
“Could you do this? For me.”
Do what? Burn? He was good at that.
“I want you to be at my graduation.”
School?
He hadn’t been to school since-
“I know that you were watching me.”
Watching the replacement? That’s right, he’d seen that-
That-
A giant wall of ice.
A giant explosion.
The replacement had won something.
Dad had been looking.
But not at him.
Never at him.
But now he was looking.
Was he?
Blue eyes, the same colour as his.
No.
One blue eye, the same colour as his.
“I can’t stay any longer, Touya-nii.”
Don’t leave me.
I’m sorry.
“I know.”
He couldn’t move. He couldn’t walk. He couldn’t go anywhere.
But Endeavour was right here.
His face was burned.
Good.
He was always looking.
Good.
But where was-
He couldn’t move.
But he needed to be somewhere.
Not right now.
But later.
In a year.
A year?
How much time had passed?
He didn’t know.
Fuck, he didn’t know.
Was he already too late?
He needed to know.
He needed-
Where was Natsu-kun?
I’m sorry.
He couldn’t move.
But he needed to be somewhere.
He needed to see-
He needed-
Mum?
Why did her face look like that?
Why was it burned?
Had Endeavour done that?
No.
He had done that.
He had done that and she was still smiling at him.
She wasn’t weak at all.
Why the fuck had he done that?
Piece of shit.
I’m sorry.
Where was Natsu-kun?
Was he dead?
No, that wasn’t right.
Ah.
Natsu-kun didn’t want to see him.
Ever again.
Had he burned him too?
Probably.
Why the fuck had he done that?
Piece of shit.
I’m sorry.
Fuyumi-chan?
Why did her face look like that?
Why was it burned?
Had Endeavour done that?
No.
He had done that.
He had done that and she was still smiling at him.
She wasn’t weak at all.
Why the fuck had he done that?
Piece of shit.
I’m sorry.
“Touya-nii?”
Why was-
Ah.
It had been a week.
Probably.
“The team says that you’re getting better.”
Getting better at what? Burning? He was good at that.
“Your body’s been getting better.”
He still had a body?
Where was Endeavour?
Dad, look!
He was looking. Blue eyes, the same colour as his.
No.
One blue eye, the same colour as his.
One grey eye, the same colour as Mum’s.
He was looking.
His face was burned.
No, not quite.
Where did that scar come from?
“They can’t believe it.”
Believe what?
Ah.
His body.
“They thought that you were dying instead.”
Dying? He wasn’t too good at that.
“I don’t want you to die, Touya-nii.”
But he was looking. Why was he looking?
He could be good at things if someone was looking.
“You could be good at living.”
That made no sense. Wasn’t he alive?
Was he?
Was he dreaming?
Was he awake?
Had he lost his fucking mind?
Fuck.
“I mean it.”
Well. He had somewhere to be at some point anyway.
Not right now.
But later.
In a year.
A year?
How much time had passed?
He didn’t know.
Fuck, he didn’t know.
Was he already too late?
He needed to know.
“It hasn’t been a year yet, Touya-nii.”
Ah.
Thank fuck.
He still had time.
How the fuck was he supposed to get better at living?
“I don’t know, but could you do this? For me.”
Yeah. Yeah, he could do that.
Probably.
He could do that for-
For-
“I can’t stay any longer, Touya-nii.”
Don’t leave me.
I’m sorry.
“I know.”
Endeavour was right here.
His face was burned.
Good.
He was always looking.
Ugh.
Couldn’t he look somewhere else for once?
But Endeavour had said that he’d be here to talk.
Every. Single. Day.
Fuck, he didn’t want to talk.
He wanted to see-
He needed-
“Touya-nii.”
One blue eye, the same colour as his.
One grey eye, the same colour as Mum’s.
He was looking
His face was burned.
No, not quite.
Where did that scar come from?
Ah.
Endeavour had terrorised Mum until she had poured boiling water onto the replacement’s face.
Endeavour was a piece of shit.
But the replace-
The re-
The-
“They might be able to move you somewhere else soon.”
He couldn’t move. He couldn’t walk. He couldn’t go anywhere.
But someone else would be able to move him soon?
Good.
“The old man’s been talking about getting you a room.”
Who?
Dad?
A room? He wasn’t in a room right now?
Ah.
This wasn’t a room.
Was this a fucking fish tank?
Was he dreaming?
Had he lost his fucking mind?
“I don’t know how any of this works either.”
Tell me about it.
They stuck me in a fucking fish tank.
“Touya-nii, did you just make a joke?”
Did he? Did he make jokes?
“My friends always tell me that my jokes are weird.”
Did those friends also get stuffed into a fish tank?
“I don’t know if they’re making jokes about my jokes though.”
Why’d he gotten stuffed into one?
Was he dead?
“I think you’re getting better at living if you can make jokes.”
Touya was supposed to be good at something if someone was looking for once.
No, he wanted to be good at something right now.
He needed to do this for-
For-
“Can you live for me, Touya-nii?”
For-
Endeavour had said that he’d be here to talk.
Every. Single. Day.
Fuck.
Shouto.
Where was Shouto?
Had he burned him too?
Probably.
Why the fuck had he done that?
Piece of shit.
His baby brother.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry.
“You didn’t really burn me in the end, Touya-nii.”
He didn’t?
“You tried to kill me.”
Why the fuck had he done that?
“More than once, actually.”
Piece of shit.
“I had to stop you.”
Yeah, probably better to stop a piece of shit.
“I wish we could’ve talked instead.”
He wasn’t very good at talking. He was pretty good at burning though.
I’m sorry.
“I know.”
Shouto should hate him.
Shouto should want him dead.
It would only be fair.
“I don’t want you dead, Touya-nii.”
Someone had wanted him to be good at living.
Had it been-
“I want you to live.”
Ah.
Huh.
Fuck.
“Are you going to be at my graduation?”
How the fuck would he make it to Shouto’s graduation?
He was stuck in some shitty fish tank.
“They’ll let you out of the tank if you keep getting better.”
Ah.
Huh.
That… that was good.
Probably.
“The old man already hired a designer for your room.”
The fuck did he need a designer for?
It was a room.
Was this a room?
“He says he wants you to be comfortable.”
Comfortable? He barely felt anything. He didn’t give a shit about comfort.
Wasn’t he dying anyway?
Was he?
Fuck.
Fuck, maybe he didn’t want to die in some shitty fish tank.
He wanted-
“Can you live for me, Touya-nii?”
Fuck, he didn’t know.
But he would try.
He was good at trying.
I’m sorry.
“I know.”
He felt... different.
Did he?
Something was different.
Ah.
Something was under his back.
Something…
Something soft?
He’d forgotten what soft things even felt like.
Not that he felt much in general.
Hmm.
Could he see?
Could he open his eyes?
He didn’t know.
His body felt so heavy.
Did he even have a body?
Was he dead?
Probably not.
Beep. Beep.
That was somewhat familiar.
Familiarly annoying.
Beep. Beep.
Ugh.
Was he dying?
Beep. Beep.
Maybe.
He had somewhere to be at some point though.
Not right now.
But later.
In a year.
He couldn’t move. He couldn’t walk. He couldn’t go anywhere.
But this was different from before.
Had someone else moved him?
Beep. Beep.
Why?
Who would do this for him?
“Could you do this? For me.”
Who had said that?
And to whom?
To him?
Fuck, he was so tired.
Beep. Beep.
Endeavour was right here.
His face was burned.
Good.
He was always looking.
Ugh.
Couldn’t he look somewhere else for once?
But something was different.
Endeavour was closer than before.
Hmm.
He should burn Endeavour right here, right now.
Beep. Beep.
His body felt so heavy.
Did he even have a body?
Was he dead?
Beep. Beep.
Was he dying?
Probably.
Mum?
Why did her face look like that?
He had burned her.
She was still smiling at him.
I’m sorry.
His body felt so heavy.
Did he even have a body?
Could he open his eyes?
Ah.
He could.
Was this the room?
Beep. Beep.
Was this his body?
Could he move?
He could wiggle his fingers.
It was something.
Could he lift his hands?
Rattle. Rattle.
Ah.
Chains. Suppressor bracelets.
He couldn’t really move then.
He couldn’t burn Endeavour to ash.
Shame.
Are you looking at me now, Dad?
Was he looking?
No, there was no one here.
Fuck, he was so tired.
Beep. Beep.
Where was Natsu-kun?
Natsu-kun didn’t want to see him.
Ever again.
He’d burned him too, after all.
Why the fuck had he done that?
But Natsu-kun was writing letters.
Fuyumi-chan had told him.
He’d burned her too.
Why the fuck had he done that?
Piece of shit.
Fuck, he was so tired.
Beep. Beep.
Shouto.
Where was Shouto?
“I’m here, Touya-nii.”
Really?
“Do you like the room? The old man spent a lot of money on that designer.”
Wasn’t he dying?
What a waste.
It was Endeavour, of course he’d go and waste his money on some-
Overpriced designer prison deathbed.
“Can’t say you’re wrong.”
He was never wrong about Endeavour.
“I think he wanted to help you, make it feel like a home. He even bought those paintings.”
Couldn’t care less about Dad wasting money on this garbage.
“Maybe don’t tell him that.”
Why not?
“Don’t think you’d be alive without his money.”
Hmm.
Was he dead?
Apparently not.
“He also spent a lot on the synthetic skin research.”
Skin? What did that even feel like?
All he knew was fire.
“They already tried some on you.”
Tried what on him? Something on his body?
Did he even have a body?
Fuck, he was so tired.
Beep. Beep.
“They really didn’t think that you’d make it out of the tank.”
Yeah, fuck that shitty fish tank.
If he opened his eyes now he would see-
One blue eye, the same colour as his.
One grey eye, the same colour as Mum’s.
The scar on his left side.
Shouto.
“I can’t stay any longer, Touya-nii.”
Don’t leave me.
I’m sorry.
“I know.”
Could he lift his hands?
Rattle. Rattle.
Ah.
Chains. Suppressor bracelets.
And… skin?
On his arms?
Hmm.
He was pretty sure that he’d talked to someone.
That’s right. Endeavour said he’d be here to talk.
Every. Single. Day.
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE-
Are you looking at me now, Dad?
Was he looking?
He was.
Someone was looking.
One blue eye, the same colour as his.
Hmm.
He should burn Endeavour right here, right now.
He’d already burned a lot of scum.
He’d burned them because-
Because-
Help me.
Somebody.
Please.
“That’s enough.”
What was enough?
Who had said that?
One blue eye, the same colour as his.
One grey eye, the same colour as Mum’s.
The scar on his left side.
What was that feeling?
Warmth?
He didn’t want the warmth to disappear.
Ever.
Beep. Beep.
It was-
It reminded him of-
Mum?
No.
Maybe.
Fuck, he was so tired.
Someone was close.
Shouto.
I’m sorry.
“Touya-nii.”
Beep. Beep.
“It’s alright.”
Someone was close.
He didn’t want the warmth to disappear.
Could he lift his hand?
Rattle. Rattle.
Someone else was here.
But they weren’t close.
Rattle. Rattle.
He didn’t want the warmth to disappear.
Ever.
“Touya-nii.”
Fuck, he was so tired.
“I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Don’t leave me.
“Rest.”
The warmth disappeared.
Natsu-kun was writing letters.
He wanted to read them.
Could he move?
He wondered what the paper would feel like in his hands.
Fuyumi-chan brought him flowers.
He’d burned her, just like Mum.
But she still brought him flowers.
He had somewhere to be at some point.
Not right now.
But later.
In a year.
A year?
How much time had passed?
He didn’t know.
Fuck, he didn’t know.
Was he already too late?
He needed to know.
He needed-
“Could you do this? For me.”
Who had said that?
Shouto.
Shouto.
Shouto.
“I can’t stay any longer, Touya-nii.”
No. Stay.
Please.
Please.
Don’t leave me.
How much time had passed?
Was he too late?
He couldn’t be too late.
Fuck, he was so tired.
Beep. Beep.
Wasn’t he dying?
Was he?
Fuck.
Fuck, he didn’t want to die in some shitty designer room.
He wanted-
“Can you live for me, Touya-nii?”
Beep. Beep.
He felt like he was floating, floating on top of something soft.
It didn’t feel right – soft things hadn’t felt right in a long time.
There was some pressure on his wrists. There was some pressure on his chest. Right side? No, left side. It didn’t hurt, nothing ever did, but it was irritating.
Beep. Beep.
Fuck, that sound was annoying.
He could smell flowers, their scent wafting over towards him.
That’s right, Fuyumi came here once a week.
His mouth was really, really fucking dry. When was the last time that he had something to drink anyway?
Could he open his eyes?
He could.
Touya felt his eyelids flutter.
The white ceiling above him felt somewhat familiar.
He needed to sit up. He needed-
His body shook with exertion, but he forced it to move.
He had somewhere to be at some point.
Rattle. Rattle.
Chains. Suppressor bracelets. Some skin on his arms.
Huh.
He pressed against the softness under him, the burned skin of his hands a stark contrast to the silky white of the expensive-looking sheets that covered him to just below his collarbone. There sat a permanently installed catheter that was held in place by some white medical tape. That explained the slight pressure.
He lifted his hands to his face, surprised by the length of those slim, yet undoubtedly heavy-duty chains attached to the compressed state-of-the-art Quirk suppressor bracelets that had been pressing against his wrists.
He ran his fingers along his lower jaw, feeling the familiar burned skin, the exposed teeth, the staples on his chin, the other staples below his cheekbones. They felt thinner than before. Maybe he’d finally melted all the old ones off.
He let his fingers travel higher, curious about the rest of his face. He felt something different on his cheeks, something smooth that didn’t feel right.
“He also spent a lot on the synthetic skin research.”
That’s right, Dad had spent endless money on restoring his dying body.
Was he still dying?
He had no idea.
He slowly ran his fingers across his temples, his forehead, stopping at the space between his brows.
He remembered someone dragging their finger across the bridge of his nose.
Mum?
No, it had been someone else.
Hmm.
He tapped the right side of his nose with his index finger.
The piercings were gone.
Shame.
He wanted them back.
He put both palms against his face, finding more of that synthetic skin below his eyes.
Hmm.
Could he move his legs?
A little.
Would he be able to stand?
Probably not.
Shit.
He had to be somewhere to be at some point.
Beep. Beep.
Wasn’t someone going to turn that shit off?
He couldn’t think with that shitty noise.
That breeze kept coming from his left.
There was a giant window. It was slightly open, but it seemed to be covered by some layers on the outside.
He spotted the flowers on the windowsill, a small pile of paper next to them. Those were probably the weekly letters Natsuo kept sending.
He wondered what the paper would feel like in his hands.
He could see a few high-rise buildings from here, but they didn’t seem familiar.
Touya let his gaze sweep across the room for the first time.
Those paintings looked expensive.
That light blue carpet looked expensive.
That chair next to his bed looked expensive.
Overpriced designer prison deathbed.
He’d said that to someone.
He had somewhere to be.
Shit, where was he supposed to be?
He stared outside the window, at the clear blue sky, at the nondescript, outer white walls of the surrounding buildings.
What day was it?
What year was it?
Was it cold outside? Was there snow?
Was it spring yet?
Spring?
Why did that matter?
Were the cherry blossoms blooming?
Why did that matter?
Spring. Cherry blossoms.
Graduations.
Third year.
Fuck.
Fuck.
UA.
UA.
UA.
Touya whipped his head around, towards the soft sound of the door sliding open, which was followed by the sight of-
“Shouto?”
“Touya-nii?”