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Ushio quietly walked along the shore of the beach, his feet sinking a little into the sand with every step he took. He wasn’t sure where he was going, or what he was even doing here in the first place, but here he was, letting his legs take him wherever they pleased. As Ushio continued to walk, however, a million thoughts were running through his head a second; his breath getting heavier and heavier with each passing minute. Before he realized it, he found himself staring down at the sand with the shells underneath him breaking into pieces under his weight. It was almost like his knees had willingly chosen to bury themselves in the sand to look for treasure instead of trying to keep him standing.
He tried to get his knees out of the sand, but he found himself unable to do so. He tried again and again, still nothing. Eventually, the only other option was to sit down on the warm sand underneath him. After much effort, he finally managed to do so successfully; albeit, having accidentally sat on the same shells his knees had broken. Ushio winced in pain as he felt the sharp shells underneath him digging into his pants. He sat up and plucked the shards out of the sand before throwing them aside and sitting back down in the same spot after making sure there weren’t any leftovers waiting to stab him again. Finally. No more shells, no more interruptions, just him and the gentle sea.
The sight of the ocean this late at night was one Ushio was all too familiar with, but it was still just as fascinating to him as when he saw it for the first time. The moon was shining ever so brightly on the crystal blue sea, illuminating the water with a white tint; it was almost like a pathway leading into the endless that he could walk on and never return. There was a gentle breeze blowing in the air with a whistle, like the wind was trying to sing to him and tell him everything will be alright. The sound of the crashing waves on the shore and then receding back into the ocean instilled a sense of relief and contentment in him, even if just for a moment.
If only this moment could last forever.
Ushio looked down at the sand and let out a sigh of frustration. Over and over again in his mind, he kept repeating those same words to himself. That he wasn’t good enough, that he screwed up, that he just kept making mistake after mistake. In his chest, it felt as if something or someone was standing on it; each beat of the gem in his chest felt like a person stomping on it with enough force to break even the strongest of concrete. Without realizing it, Ushio had balled his hands up into fists and was digging them into the sand, the grains of time slipping between the gaps in his fingers.
Why did he decide to come onto land in the first place? That was a question even he couldn’t answer. Life on land wasn’t built for a jellyfish like him, it never was and he knew that. It was foolish of his younger self to come on land not long after gaining his newfound sapience, thinking that this world would treat him any differently than anyone else. Even still, he would lie to himself every day, telling himself that it would get better, telling himself it’d all be worth it in the end. Instead, what reality had in store for him was much worse than he ever could have imagined.
As Ushio kept thinking about it, the memories of what he had been through came crashing down on him like a tsunami. Of course he would be treated differently based on the fact he wasn’t human. Of course he would be exhausted everyday and constantly stressed because of his job. Of course he would struggle making friends or forming and maintaining any sort of relationship with anyone ever. He felt nothing within’, he felt like a hollow shell just waiting till’ the day it dropped from whatever would cause it. As long as it was quick, he didn’t care what it was.
Ushio took a moment to compose himself a bit before staring back up at the moon in the starry night sky. Seeing it again after these unwanted thoughts had run through his head, the moon looked a lot less bright to him than when he saw it earlier, and the water no longer sparkled like it once did. Ushio tried to get his hands out of the sand, but he found that he physically could not get them out.
He tugged harder and harder until his right hand shot out of the sand and slapped him directly in the face; producing a loud smack and causing Ushio to fall back on his head with a yelp coming out of him. Ushio groaned when his head hit the sand and looked at his hands to see that he had unwillingly turned them into tentacles, which had caused them to get stuck in the first place.
Ushio was shocked when he saw what had happened. The only time he would shift his hands into tentacles was when he was either defending himself or was experiencing a large amount of anxiety. His breath hitched for a moment as he took in the realization that he was in much more distress than he had initially thought. He took a moment to stare up at the sky in silence before looking back at his tentacle hands and began to reflect on everything that had gotten him to this point in his life.
Ushio went through the list of experiences he had been through in his head. There was a time when he was homeless as a young jellyfish, and then a human couple adopted him off the streets and treated him as their son regardless of who he was. He was treated as their own, treated with love, treated like a person.
Despite the stress, he excelled in school and managed to graduate from the best university in the country and get a job in biomedical engineering; he wanted to make a difference, so he had always dreamed of becoming one in hopes that he would be able to leave a positive impact on the world.
He remembered that, even with what little relationships he had formed, the ones he did form had people who all loved him for who he was and didn’t care how many times he had accidentally screwed up around them or how different he was from them; they were true friends, true companions that would stick with him for the rest of his days.
He had a boyfriend just like him, the most important person to him in the world, and the one who would be most hurt from seeing him gone.
Remembering everything good that had happened to him, Ushio realized something important; life happens. Sure, there were a lot of bad things that happened to him, but in the end, it was always okay. Whenever something bad happened to him, something good would end up happening afterwards that made it worth it. There were times where he was overwhelmed, but he was also quite prepared for those times. Even in his worst moments, he would always end up bouncing back from it and improve.
Ushio sat up and looked beyond the horizon of the ocean once more; the water glistening brighter than ever before. He smiled with a new feeling of acceptance. He knew that a lot more rough patches would be coming his way, but he would just have to try for now; facing his struggles with determination. Regardless of if they were good or bad, he would be grateful for whatever the world would throw at him.