Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There’s a lot to discover at seventeen years old.

You don’t know where to place yourself.

You’re too naive at this age.

You trusted someone who you shouldn’t have trusted.

You met someone who you’d regret meeting in the future.

And…

You’re not sure if it’s too early for you to feel… love.

-

Teenagers usually go to school, do extracurricular activities, hang out with their friends, and maybe play video games or other outdoor activities.

But not all teenagers are blessed to have parents that’ll allow them to do whatever the things they do freely.

Renjun Huang, the youngest son of one of the most influential families in the business industry, seemed to have it all. Yet, behind all the grand facade of wealth and success of his family, there was loneliness and a lack of affection from his own family.

Renjun is 17 years old, and a 12th grader at one of the most prestigious private schools in the country.

It’s Monday, which means he has to go to school early because they have a morning assembly followed by the principal’s unnecessary long speech for the students, teachers, and staff.

With a slight yawn, he rolled out of bed, sitting up on the edge, with his shoulders slacking, his eyes still droopy, and his hair dishevelled.

Why is it always so hard getting up during Mondays…

He shakes his head and lets out a breath, getting up from his bed and walking out of his room right after. He then descended the staircase and made his way to the dining hall where the family maid awaited him with a freshly made breakfast.

“Good morning, sir Renj-”

“I told you po to call me just Renjun,” Renjun muttered softly as he took a seat at the dining table.

She clears his throat, quite uncertain about Renjun’s (repeated) request to call him by just his name.

Renjun looks up, noticing that the atmosphere has become quiet. A small, reassuring smile flickers on his lips, “Wala naman po sila mom at dad, it’s fine,” Renjun noticed that she looked somewhat hesitant, so he spoke up once more, “If you don’t want to, it’s also fine.”

She has been working for the Huangs ever since Wendy, the eldest sibling, was born. Everyone is close to her, everybody that knows her, genuinely loves her, and treats her like she’s their second mom.

Although she had taken care of Wendy and Doyoung, the second oldest, until they had to move out for college, she felt the closest with Renjun.

And it’s not really because of a good reason… She felt the closest with Renjun because she was technically the one taking care of Renjun most of the time.

These days both of his parents are almost always away. It’s either they’re working overtime or working overseas.

She feels bad for the teenager who barely sees his parents… and to think at this time of one’s life, the parents should always be present.

Renjun had already finished eating, just in time for their family driver to arrive. He had quickly washed up, put on his uniform, and fixed his bag.

It’s just going to be another boring Monday at school.

Renjun greeted the driver before hopping into the backseat of the car, buckling himself up as well.

He has always been neutral when it comes to going to school.

He just needs to attend his classes, and he also needs to pass his exams. That’s it.

It has always been like that for almost 15 years already (yes, he went to daycare learning at 3 years old.)

He wouldn’t say it’s draining because it eventually just became his “routine.”

Wake up, eat breakfast, wash up, go to school, go home, study, sleep.

Then repeat. 6 times a week.

__________
“Renjun Huang?”

“Present.”

Being a 12th grader felt the same for Renjun. Nothing’s really different, except for the badge they have - or rather, enamel pins as they say.

They said the subjects became harder but to Renjun, who has always been studious and naturally smart, the subjects are just so-so. Again, he’s just going to class to pass his exams.

The roll call continued, Renjun’s mind was still wandering around, waiting for the class to officially start. He’s looking down at his pencil that’s on his desk, he then picks it up and starts to lightly tap the tip of the pencil on the surface of his table - trying to entertain himself while waiting for the roll call to finish.

But amidst the familiar names, he heard something that made him pause.

“Jaemin Na?”

Jaemin Na?

Someone new?

Silence followed.

Maybe he’s got mixed up in our class list.

“Jaemin Na? Absent?”

Once again, silence followed which made Renjun frown.

“Okay, seems like he’s not here,” just as their teacher was about to move on, the door burst open, causing everyone to turn their heads - including Renjun.

“Sorry,” the newcomer exclaimed, slightly breathless and with a sheepish yet charming smile on his face, “Sorry, I’m late po,” the student slowly walked into the room and without thinking, settled into the empty desk beside Renjun.

“And you are?” the teacher asked as her finger went through the class list once more.

“Jaemin,” the student said, before quickly adding, “Jaemin Na.”

Ah… This year might be different.

-

Lunch break came.

Renjun’s usual “spot” is nowhere near the canteen.

Yes, Renjun is in fact popular but he doesn’t really enjoy getting that kind of attention and the only solution he can think of is… to run away and hide.

His yaya usually packs him food and snacks, mostly through his request so that going to the cafeteria and lining up for food is not one of his problems anymore.

He settled down on the makeshift seat he had made out of an old cushion and a blanket he found on the rooftop. It wasn’t dirty but… it wasn't that clean either but he’s just going to sit on it anyway so it doesn’t really matter.

He shrugged off his blazer and neatly placed it on the side as he got ready to eat his packed lunch. He lets out a sigh of contentment, looking up at the sun with his eyes squinting a bit.

Growing up, Renjun obviously had been confined to the strict rules set by his parents. He was never really allowed to go out unless they said so – it’s like his every move is monitored even though his parents are almost always never home.

After finishing his lunch, he stood up and hid all the things he used on the very corner of the area (because he thinks the maintenance might throw it away) before heading back down to where his classroom is.

As he hurried down the hallways, he collided with someone coming from the opposite direction. Renjun grunted and slightly stumbled backward, almost losing his balance. Instinctively he reached out to steady himself, his hand landing on the shoulder of the person he had bumped into but before he could steady himself completely, he felt a firm grip around his waist, pulling him back into an upright position.

Renjun looked up with his eyes widened in surprise, and there he saw Jaemin standing before him, “Okay ka lang?”

Jaemin…? Right?

Renjun blinked in surprise, caught off guard by what just happened.

He looked at Jaemin and then at his hand on his shoulder, and once he realized the position they were in, he quickly withdrew from Jaemin’s hold and took a few steps back, while awkwardly straightening his clothes.

Without a word, Renjun continued down the hallway to their classroom with an unreadable expression.

Jaemin, on the other hand, all throughout, unable to look away.

He tilted his head to the side, scoffing a bit, but a small smile formed on his lips.

Huang.

“Jaem!” a cheerful voice snapped him back to reality.

Jaemin turned around and saw Chenle waving at him excitedly, with Jeno by his side.

“First day na first day, late ka kaagad,” Jeno laughed, swinging his arm over Jaemin’s shoulder, “Tapos sa harap ka pa umupo.”

“Sa tabi pa ni Renjun,” Chenle added with a laugh, shaking his head.

Jaemin scoffed once more, letting the two drag him by his shoulder, “Akala ko joke lang nung sinabi niyong may Huang kayong kaklase. Totoo pala.”

“At bakit naman namin gagawing joke ‘yon?” Chenle rolled his eyes, and they entered their classroom together.

As soon as they stepped inside, Jaemin’s eyes immediately went to Renjun, who was flipping through the pages of the book for their next subject. Renjun looked focused, seemingly unaware of Jaemin’s gaze.

Jeno nudged Jaemin’s side with his elbow, “Ayaw mo tumabi sa’amin ni Chenle? Sa likod?”

Jaemin leaned in, whispering, “Sa tingin niyo may maiintindihan ako kapag tumabi ako sa inyo?”

“Wow ha,” Chenle playfully pushed Jaemin away, making Jaemin laugh.

Jaemin shook his head at them before separating from the two, then making his way to the desk beside Renjun and sat down, clearing his throat, “Ano sunod na subject?” he asked casually.

Renjun shrugged, not bothering to look up from his notes.

Jaemin tilted his head, peering over to get a better look, “Then ano ‘yang binabasa mo?”

“My notes,” Renjun replied curtly, still focused on his book.

“For?” Jaemin pressed.

“Math,” Renjun answered shortly, his eyes never leaving the page.

“‘Yan ba yung sunod na subject?” Jaemin continued, leaning a bit closer.

“I guess,” Renjun answered, flipping another page.

“That’s a yes th-”

“You’re new… Didn’t they give you a schedule? You lost it already?” Renjun cut in, finally glancing up at Jaemin with a slight frown.

Jaemin rested his chin on his palm, his gaze steady on Renjun, “Talking without looking at the person you’re talking to… I thought the Huangs would at least have some basic manners-”

Renjun shot him a sharp look, his eyes narrowing slightly, “Mathematics. That’s our next subject. English, after that. Then we can go home. Got it?”

Jaemin nodded, a satisfied smile tugging at his lips, “Got it.”

Renjun huffed softly and turned his focus back to his notes, his brow furrowed in concentration.

Jaemin, still smiling, leaned back in his chair, feeling oddly pleased with their exchange.

__________
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months.

For as long as Jaemin could remember, he enjoyed seeing his seatmate frowning. But in a good way.

Even though Jaemin knew their schedule by heart, he made a habit of asking Renjun about it every day, finding it amusing to see Renjun's reaction. Renjun would always frown but still answer him.

Jaemin noticed that Renjun would frown even before he asked to borrow notes for the lessons he missed while he was too preoccupied with other things to pay attention to in class.

And what Jaemin also noticed is that despite the passing months, Jaemin had never seen Renjun in the canteen. He had searched every corner of the canteen and even wandered outside the area, subtly looking for him, but Renjun was nowhere to be found.

So, when lunch break came around, Jaemin decided to strike up a conversation with Renjun, "San ka kakain?" he asked directly, hoping to finally get an answer.

Renjun ignored him at first, grabbed his packed lunch, and began to walk out of the classroom, only for Jaemin to follow him.

"May bagong bukas na stall sa baba. You might want to try-"

"I don’t eat non-home-cooked meals," Renjun shortly replied, walking past Jaemin.

As Renjun was about to leave, Jaemin called out again, "Sama ka sa’amin kumain.."

Renjun glanced back at him and shook his head, "No, thanks," he said, pausing for a moment, "And… don’t bother following me," With that, he left the room.

–

“Bakit mo ba laging kinukulit 'yon si Renjun?” Chenle asked, taking a bite of his food as they sat down to eat.

Jaemin let out a heavy sigh, “Ewan.”

Jeno almost choked on his food upon hearing Jaemin’s answer, “Parang halos lahat na ata ng tanong sa buong mundo natanong mo na kay Renjun tapos sasagot mo sa’amin ngayon ‘Ewan’?”

“Ang kulit nga eh, buti hindi nagagalit sa’yo,” Chenle added, shaking his head in disbelief.

Jaemin raised an eyebrow, “Bakit naman magagalit sa’akin?”

“Kung kulitin mo ba naman, akala mo ilang taon na kayo magkakilala,” Jeno said, rolling his eyes.

Jaemin couldn’t help but chuckle. “Nakakatawa kasi siya magalit, okay? Nakasimangot pero sinasagot ka naman.”

Jeno raised an eyebrow and exchanged a glance with Chenle, who nudged him on the side, “Kilala mo naman si Renjun Huang, diba?”

“Mga Huang? Oo naman,” Jaemin replied, snickering slightly, “Bakit? Iniiwasan niyo ba siya dahil lang don?”

“Hindi naman sa ganon, Jaem,” Chenle began, leaning forward, “Ayaw rin naman niya makipag-usap saamin.”

Jeno nodded in agreement, “Totoo, sinusubukan naman namin ni Chenle kausapin siya pero ayaw niya. Literal na hindi niya kami kinakausap.”

“Ganon ba siya lagi?” Jaemin asked.

Chenle and Jeno both nodded.

Jaemin nodded as well, pondering their words as he continued to eat, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

__________
Then the next day came.

Still the same.

Jaemin was a little early only because his mom had to do something so she had to drop him off the school earlier than usual.

Renjun was surprised to see Jaemin walking into the classroom earlier than expected.

Jaemin smiled as he sat down beside him, as he always did, "Good morning," he greeted warmly.

As usual, Renjun didn’t respond and was just focused on his own thoughts.

Jaemin leaned over slightly, trying to see what Renjun was writing, "What are you studying for?" he asked curiously.

Renjun quickly closed his notebook and stuffed it into his bag, glancing at Jaemin.

Jaemin chuckled, clearly amused by Renjun's reaction, "Ah, I asked my mom to make packed lunch for me din," he said, still smiling.

Renjun raised an eyebrow, "Why are you-"

"So we can eat together," Jaemin interrupted, his tone sounded light and… genuine?

Renjun sighed deeply, looking away, "I like eating alone," he said, "Kaya please, just stay with your friends."

_________
Although I understand that some people prefer being alone throughout their school life, there’s something about Renjun that I just can’t quite grasp.

Why does he choose to be alone... with everything?

Jaemin sighed as he glanced at Renjun, who was listening intently to their teacher. Then, he turned his attention back to the lecturer.

"Now everyone, I have a project for you to complete," the teacher announced as she finished her lecture, "You’ll be working in pairs, alright? Choose your partners."

Jaemin's eyes lit up at the teacher’s words.

The classroom immediately burst with chatter as students paired up with friends or seatmates.

The teacher made her way toward Renjun and Jaemin’s table, "Renjun, sino partner mo?" she asked, her tone sympathetic as she seemed to have noticed that Renjun often kept to himself.

Without a moment's hesitation, Jaemin raised his hand. "Ako po," he volunteered eagerly.

The teacher smiled and nodded, "Oh, that’s good," she said approvingly.

Renjun looked over at Jaemin, clearly taken aback, "I never said-"

Jaemin cut him off, "Wala rin naman akong partner, so..."

As the teacher moved on to ask other students about their partners, Renjun turned to Jaemin and said with a hint of frustration in his voice, "What's your deal?"

Jaemin shrugged nonchalantly, "Wala nga akong magiging partner," he replied.

Renjun briefly closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself, "I like finishing stuff early," he said.

Jaemin nodded, a small smile playing on his lips, "Ako din naman.”

__________
I don’t know why this is giving me so much joy, but it is. I’m finally spending my break time with Renjun.

I wouldn’t exactly call it “hanging out,” since we’re barely talking to each other right now. But it’s nice to see him sitting across the table, munching on his snack while continuously writing in his notebook.

Renjun had suggested that they find a quieter spot away from the crowds, and Jaemin understood why.

A lot of people knew Renjun— both boys and girls. There were good things and bad things said about him.

People would whisper as they walked by, and Jaemin couldn’t help but overhear some of it. Most of the talk was about Renjun and his family. Maybe that’s why he avoids being around other people during his breaks. Even when he doesn’t say anything, there are still so many things people say about him.

Renjun looked up from his notebook and raised an eyebrow when he saw Jaemin staring at him, “Have you even finished?” he asked.

“Huh?” Jaemin snapped out of his thoughts, clearing his throat as he glanced down at his still-empty notebook, “Hindi pa.”

Renjun let out a sigh, frustration evident in his expression, “I don’t want to cram, Jaemin.”

Jaemin quickly nodded, trying to reassure him, “We won’t,” he said. “Tatapusin natin ’to, kung kelan mo gusto.”

__________
It’s the day when we need to present our poster making thingy na credited daw sa buong subject and the grade goes directly to our final grades.

We did finish exactly, kung kailan gusto tapusin ni Renjun, which is a week away from the deadline.

He told me na siya na bahala sa pagsasalita in front and I honestly cannot let that happen.

Unang una, ayoko maging pabigat sa ka-grupo ko at pangalawa, I like exerting much effort sa mga presentations.

Renjun hasn’t really talked to me much since we finished making the poster, but we did spend a few lunch breaks together, which I see as a plus.

At least we bonded over something, even if we didn’t talk much. That’s a win for me.

“Jaemin,” Renjun said softly, clearing his throat taking out a roll of tape and handing it to Jaemin, “Can you stick this up in front?”

Jaemin couldn’t help but smile widely as he leaned forward on the table, “Asking for a favor without even looking at me?”

Renjun let out a sigh, stood up with the poster and tape in hand, and started walking toward the front of the room. Jaemin quickly got up and followed him.

“Ako na, ako na,” Jaemin laughed softly, taking the tape from Renjun. “Just sit down. I can do this.”

Renjun hesitated before handing both the poster and tape to Jaemin. He walked back to his table and pulled out his iPad, where his script was.

The lunch break had just ended, and the students were just starting to come into the room.

As Jaemin was trying to tape up their poster, Jeno and Chenle walked in, talking loudly, “Oh? Mukhang excited kayo ah?” Jeno commented, walking over to Jaemin to help hold the poster up.

“Sinabihan na rin kami ni ma’am kahapon na kami daw mauna mag present,” Jaemin said.

Chenle sighed, leaning against the teacher’s table, “Kaya kayo inuna kasi gusto niya mataas agad standards niya sa presentation. Pinagsama pa kayong dalawa.”

Jeno chuckled, “Hindi alam ni ma’am na mamaw din ‘tong si Jaemin sa mga ganito.”

Chenle nodded, “Kaya nga.”

Jaemin just rolled his eyes and snickered. Once Jaemin was done taping the poster, he took a step back and accidentally bumped into Renjun’s back. Jaemin quickly turned around and glanced at the iPad he was holding, “You’re gonna say all that? Hindi ba binigyan tayo ni ma’am ng time limit?”

“I told you, I’ll do all the talking,” Renjun said simply.

Jaemin then raised an eyebrow. “Uh no, mag-partner tayo. Bakit ikaw lang magpe-present?”

Before Renjun could respond, the teacher walked into the room and immediately moved to the back.

“Just go with the flow, Jaemin,” Renjun breathed out, clearing his throat as the classroom suddenly went quiet.

Jaemin rolled his eyes slightly and stepped to the side, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Okay,” Renjun began, his voice becoming steady and confident, “The poster we created focuses on mental health awareness in schools…We believe that students must have access to mental health resources and support, and our campaign aims to educate both students and teachers on recognizing and addressing mental health issues."

As Renjun spoke, Jaemin found himself listening more intently than he expected. He watched Renjun's every move, noticing the way he gestured to each part of the poster with so much confidence that it was captivating, almost. Jaemin's gaze was fixed on Renjun as he continued to explain the details of their poster, "We painted this tree to represent growth and support," he said, gesturing to the vibrant green tree in the center of the poster, "The roots symbolize the support systems that need to be in place, like trained counsellors and accessible resources. The branches represent different outreach programs we propose, such as workshops, seminars, and peer support groups."

He moved to another part of the poster, where they had painted a series of interlocking gears, "These gears represent the collaboration between students, teachers, and parents. We wanted to show that for any mental health initiative to be successful, it requires a community effort—everyone working together to make sure no one slips through the cracks."

Jaemin watched Renjun withan unexpected affection as he talked. He was amazed at how passionately Renjun described every detail, including the symbols and colors they used. He became aware that every time Renjun made eye contact with him, his heart began to beat differently, and he started seeing Renjun in an entirely new way.

Their teacher nodded along, clearly impressed with Renjun’s well-organized presentation and the creativity of the visuals. When Renjun finished speaking, Jaemin noticed a small proud smile on his face, a quiet recognition of a job well done to himself. Jaemin couldn’t help but smile as well, his heart swelling with an unfamiliar warmth as he watched Renjun bask in the moment.

It was a simple, proud smile that made Jaemin’s chest tighten in the best way possible.

The teacher then smiled warmly and said, “Thank you, Renjun. That was very impressive. Is there anything else either of you would like to add?”

Before Renjun could respond, Jaemin saw his chance. He stepped forward quickly, slightly bringing his hand up, "Actually, yes, may gusto lang din po ako idagdag," he said, glancing at Renjun, who looked at him with a confused expression.

"Renjun covered the importance of mental health resources and awareness, I want to emphasize the role of peer support. So, as students, we are often the first to notice when our friends are struggling. So, creating a culture of openness and empathy in our schools can make a huge difference in each other’s lives."

He then continued, "As Renjun said, starting a peer mentorship program, where older students can be trained to support younger students, is also a very good idea since this would not only provide immediate help to those who need it but also build a more connected school community."

When Jaemin finished his impromptu addition to the presentation, the class broke into another round of applause. Even Ms. Kim looked impressed.

"Thank you, Jaemin," she said with a nod, "That was excellent. It’s clear that both of you have put a lot of thought and effort into this project. Well done,” She then looked up from her notes and called out, “Alright, thank you, Renjun and Jaemin. Next up, Jeno and Chenle. Please come up and set up your poster.”

Jeno and Chenle quickly made their way to the front of the class, carrying their rolled-up poster. As they reached the front, Jeno turned to Jaemin, “Patulong naman, pre.”

Jaemin playfully stalled just to tease them but he eventually nodded and walked back to the front. Renjun just sat down and watched Jaemin as he moved in front, noticing the way he cheerfully chatted with Jeno and Chenle as he helped them. He couldn’t help but keep his eyes on Jaemin, observing how he seemed genuinely eager at what he’s doing, even though it wasn’t his project. As Jaemin helped straighten the poster and smooth out any creases, Renjun was in deep thoughts about Jaemin.

Jaemin was different. He was smart and kind, and he had this personality about him that Renjun found quite perplexing. Renjun was used to people treating him differently because of who he was—the son of a highly influential family, a name that carried weight in many circles. Most of the time, people went out of their way to impress him or to befriend him for the wrong reasons. But Jaemin… Jaemin didn’t seem to care about any of that.

In fact, Jaemin treated Renjun like a normal person, talking to him like he was just another classmate, not someone from a well-known family. Renjun wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. On one hand, it was a relief to be treated normally for once. On the other hand, it was confusing. It was the first time Renjun had ever been around someone who didn’t care about his family background or his name.

He watched as Jaemin continued to assist Jeno and Chenle, even offering some suggestions on how to position the poster to make it more visible to the class. Renjun couldn’t help but smile a little, seeing Jaemin in his element—helpful, friendly, and maybe just a bit too nosy. But it was endearing in a way Renjun hadn’t expected.

Renjun wondered what it was about Jaemin that made him different. Maybe it was his genuine nature, or perhaps his straightforward attitude. Whatever it was, Renjun found himself more intrigued by Jaemin than he had been by anyone in a long time.

For the rest of the class, even as he tried to pay attention to Jeno and Chenle’s presentation, Renjun’s thoughts kept returning to Jaemin. Maybe being partners for this project wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

-

“Renjun,” Jaemin called out, but Renjun instinctively ignored him, continuing to make his way toward the front gates of the school, “Renjun!” Jaemin called again, running after him.

Renjun sighed and turned around, “Ano?”

“Sabay tayo uwi,” Jaemin suggested.

Renjun furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head, “May sundo ako.”

“Then tomorrow?” Jaemin asked, “I want to start walking back and forth to get my steps up.”

Renjun shook his head again and started to turn away.

Jaemin quickly reached out and gently held onto Renjun's arm, “Okay, then let’s at least exchange numbers, hm?”

Renjun sighed once more, “I don’t use my phone much.”

“I know, kaya nga it’s so hard to contact you, kahit sa Facebook,” Jaemin said with a light laugh.

“We see each other every day. I don’t think it’s necessary for us to message each other after school.”

Jaemin chuckled, tilting his head to the side, “But what if we become partners again?”

“We had no problems finishing our poster,” Renjun replied.

“Yeah, but what if we need to get something done quickly?” Jaemin pressed.

“Then we’ll finish it right here at school,” Renjun said, pulling his arm away with another sigh, “I have to go home.”

Jaemin slightly groaned and held onto Renjun’s arm once more and took out a pen from his pocket, “Eto number ko,” he said, without second thoughts, Jaemin grabbed Renjun’s hand and flipped it over, revealing his palm. Renjun’s eyes widened slightly, watching as Jaemin quickly scribbled down his phone number with the pen.

“‘Yan,” Jaemin said with a satisfied grin, capping the pen and tucking it back into his pocket, “Now you have my number. You can call or text me anytime.”

Renjun stared at the numbers written on his palm, “You really didn’t have to do that, you know,” he said, shaking his head.

“I know,” Jaemin replied, shrugging a bit, “But I wanted to. Now, you can’t say you don’t have my number.”

Renjun sighed, “Alright, fine. I have your number now. Happy?”

Jaemin beamed at him, clearly pleased with himself, “Very happy,” he said, nodding enthusiastically. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

“Yeah,” Renjun replied, still shaking his head and as he turned to head towards his driver, he glanced down at his palm again, a small smile spreading across his face.

Maybe, just maybe, that wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

As Renjun slid into the back seat of his family’s sleek black car, he let out a small sigh, leaning back against the car seat. He then quickly pulled out his phone, opened his contacts, and typed in the numbers, saving it under the name “Jaemin - Classmate.” For some reason, there was a strange sense of satisfaction he felt as he added Jaemin’s number to his contacts.

The drive home was short, and as they approached his house, Renjun’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. There were several luxury cars parked in front of their mansion and there’s only one reason why– His heart skipped a beat, a mix of excitement and nervousness bubbling up inside him.

His parents were home.

Renjun almost never saw his parents; they were always busy with work or traveling for business. The rare moments when they were home together were few and far between, so seeing their cars in the driveway filled him with hopeful anticipation.

Maybe they’d have dinner together tonight.

Maybe he could share with them about the poster presentation he and Jaemin had worked so hard on.

As the car pulled to a stop, Renjun quickly gathered his belongings and stepped out, thanking the driver with a polite nod before making his way up to the steps of the mansion. He pushed open the heavy front door and stepped inside, but as soon as he entered, his excitement began to fade. He could hear raised voices echoing down the hallway, coming from the direction of the living room. His parents were arguing, Renjun could hear their voices very tense and heated. The sound of it made Renjun’s stomach twist uncomfortably. He stood frozen for a moment, the hopeful smile he had, started slipping from his face as he listened to their argument.

And so, Renjun decided against going to the living room. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and quietly made his way up the staircase to his room. The house suddenly felt colder, and emptier, with the sound of his parents' argument echoing in the background.

He had been so eager to tell them about the poster presentation, about how the teacher had praised their work and planned to hang it up at school. He wanted to share the pride and accomplishment he felt.

But now, it didn’t seem like the right time.

Once he reached his room, Renjun quickly closed the door behind him, and briefly leaned against it as he took a deep breath. He could still hear the faint sound of his parents arguing downstairs, and it made his chest feel tight. Without wasting another moment, he grabbed his earphones from his desk, connected them to his phone, and slipped them into his ears.

Renjun scrolled through his playlist, finding a song he liked and hitting play, letting the music fill his ears and drown out the muffled sounds of the argument downstairs. He sat down on his bed, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his head on them.

The music was a comforting distraction, it helped block out the noise and the uneasy feeling in his chest. He closed his eyes, trying to focus on the rhythm of the song instead. He didn’t want to think about his parents fighting or the disappointment of not being able to share his good news with them.

Instead, he tried to think about the day, the poster presentation, and… Jaemin.

The way Jaemin had insisted on sharing his number and the smile he’d given when Renjun finally took it.

He thought back to when he and his older siblings still lived under the same roof, back when the house didn’t feel quite so large or empty.

Wendy was always there for him during those tough times. Whenever their parents argued, she would instinctively make her way to Renjun’s room, she would lock the door behind her and sit down next to Renjun, her presence comforting against whatever was happening downstairs.

“Renjun,” Wendy would say softly with a soothing tone in her voice, “Let’s not worry about them right now, okay?”

Renjun would nod, looking up at his sister with wide, anxious eyes. He was much younger then, just a small boy who didn’t understand why his parents were shouting. But Wendy always seemed to know what to do. She’d take a seat beside him on the bed, sometimes pulling him close and wrapping her arms around him. When the argument grew louder, she would gently cover his ears with her hands, as if she could block out all the noise and keep him safe.

“It’s okay, Renjun,” Wendy would whisper, “It’ll be over soon.”

Renjun remembered the way Wendy would talk to him about anything and everything to distract him. She’d tell him stories about her day at school or share funny things about her friends, her voice intentionally rising just enough to drown out the sounds from downstairs. Sometimes, they would play games or do puzzles together, anything to keep his mind off the argument echoing through the house.

In those moments, Wendy wasn't just his sister; she was his protector and best friend. With her around, everything felt less daunting. Her calm presence stood out against the anger and frustration radiating from their parents.

But now, as Renjun sat alone in his room, the silence around him only interrupted by the faint music in his ears, he felt the weight of her absence more than ever. Wendy and Doyoung had both moved out a few years ago to attend university abroad. The house, once full of life and noise, now felt strangely quiet, filled with memories of the past.

-

The morning sunlight seeped through the large windows of the dining room, casting a warm glow over the large and elegant table. Renjun, dressed neatly in his school uniform, descended the staircase, adjusting his tie as he went. He was surprised to see his parents already seated at the dining table which is a very rare occurrence that instantly ignited a small flicker of hope within him.

His father sat at the head of the table, typing away on his laptop, while his mother was busy on her phone, her fingers flying across the screen as she messaged their clients. Renjun hesitated, unsure of what approach he should take, but the sight of them together, calm and not arguing, made him cautiously optimistic.

"Good morning," Renjun greeted quietly as he walked over to the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down.

Their maid immediately served him breakfast, placing a plate of pancakes and fresh fruit in front of him. He thanked her quietly then he glanced at his parents, who seemed absorbed in their own worlds. Maybe today would be different.

"Good morning, Renjun," his mother finally said, not looking up from her phone as she continued typing.

Renjun instantly felt encouraged by her acknowledgment, he took a deep breath and decided to share his news, "I, uh, wanted to tell you both something," he began cautiously, his voice soft and almost inaudible, "Yesterday, in school, we had a poster presentation. Our teacher said it was really good, and she’s going to have it hung up in the school. She also said all the suggestions we made will be forwarded to the principal."

He paused, waiting for some kind of reaction but his father continued to work on his laptop, his eyes glued to the screen as he dealt with his own set of emails and tasks. The silence continued on, and Renjun’s initial optimism began to waver. Them ignoring him, made him feel like a small knot of anxiety started to form in his stomach, but he decided to continue, hoping for some kind of acknowledgment or encouragement at least.

"I just thought you might like to know," he added, his voice trailing off slightly. He looks down at the food and starts to slightly play with it using the tip of the fork.

After a few more moments of suffocating silence, his mother finally spoke up, "That’s good, Renjun," she said, her tone sounding distant. She set her phone down briefly and looked at him, but it seemed so empty… like there was no warmth in her gaze, "But speaking of your future, your father and I were discussing your college plans."

With those words, Renjun’s heart sank a little, but he nodded, trying to hide his disappointment, "Oh, okay," he said, forcing a small smile, "What about them?"

His mother continued with her tone now taking on a firmer and more authoritative edge, "We think it would be best if you took business as your college course. You’re going to graduate high school soon, so we’ve decided that you should attend the University of Finance and Economics. It’s a prestigious school, and it will set you up for a successful career in the family business."

Renjun felt the small hope he had felt earlier just disappeared. He glanced at his father, hoping for a different opinion, but his father simply nodded in agreement, his eyes never leaving his laptop screen.

His heart grew heavier as he suddenly had a realization that his achievements, his passions, and his dreams didn’t seem to matter to them. All they saw was a future that they had already planned for him, a future that had nothing to do with what he wanted.

Renjun nodded again, more slowly this time, "I understand," he said quietly, looking down at his plate. His appetite was gone, and the pancakes in front of him now seemed unappetizing. He knew that arguing wouldn’t change anything, and he didn’t want to start another argument so early in the day.

"Good," his mother said as if the matter was settled. She picked up her phone again, quickly returning to her messages, "It’s important that you make the right choices for your future, anak. We only want what’s best for you."

Renjun didn’t respond. He simply nodded, pushing his food around his plate with his fork. He had hoped for a different kind of morning, one where his parents might actually listen to him and share in his excitement. But instead, it was just another reminder of how distant they were and how little they understood him.

His appetite vanished. He could barely look at the pancakes, much less eat them. Without a word, Renjun pushed his chair back from the table and stood up, “I’m heading to school,” he said quietly.

Neither of his parents looked up from their screens, “Okay, have a good day,” his mother murmured, barely paying attention.

Renjun didn’t respond. He turned and walked out of the dining room, leaving his untouched breakfast behind.

As Renjun was leaving the dining room, their yaya noticed his untouched breakfast, so she decided to quietly call after him, "You didn’t eat anything… Kumain ka muna bago ka pumasok ng school…”

Renjun paused in the doorway and turned back to her, forcing a small smile, "I'm going to be late," he said softly, "I can eat lunch at school, so don't worry."

She didn’t have any choice but to watch him go, she’s still worried but she knew better than to press him further. Renjun, on the other hand, made his way to the car, and as he settled into the back seat, his stomach let out a low and hungry growl. The driver heard the noise and glanced at Renjun in the rearview mirror.

“Sir? Gusto mo kumain muna bago ka pumasok? Pwede naman tayo mag drive-thru muna,” he suggested kindly.

Renjun shook his head, looking out the window. “No, it’s fine. Just take me to school. I’ll eat during lunch break,” he replied, his voice barely audible.

The driver nodded, but he couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for Renjun. The rest of the ride was silent, except for the occasional rumble of Renjun’s empty stomach.

When they arrived at school, Renjun thanked the driver and stepped out of the car, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder as he walked to class. The morning passed by quite fast, and for the entire time, Renjun was settled into his seat next to Jaemin, his stomach was still grumbling softly from hunger.

As the teacher began the lecture, Renjun’s stomach growled loudly, causing him to tense up in embarrassment. Jaemin heard the noise and pretty sure a few of their classmates who are sitting beside them also heard Renjun’s stomach. Jaemin glanced over with a concerned look crossing his face.

“Was that you?” Jaemin whispered, leaning in so only Renjun could hear.

Renjun shyly nodded, trying to focus on the lesson in front of him. Jaemin reached into his bag and pulled out a small packet of biscuits, “Here,” he offered quietly, sliding the packet toward Renjun, “Kainin mo ‘to, it’s not much, but it’ll help until lunch.”

Renjun hesitated for a moment, feeling a bit self-conscious, but the look of genuine concern on Jaemin’s face made him give in. He took the packet of biscuits from Jaemin’s hand and whispered, "Thank you.”

Jaemin smiled softly and nodded, “No problem,” he said, turning his attention back to the lecture but keeping an eye on Renjun to make sure he ate something.

As lunchtime approached, Jaemin couldn't shake the thought of Renjun not having breakfast earlier. Jaemin already had a hunch about where Renjun might be. He remembered seeing him head up the stairs a little while ago, and he figured Renjun might have gone to the rooftop, a spot Jaemin had heard Renjun liked to go to when he wanted to be alone.

Jaemin went to the canteen and bought two lunch sets, along with drinks. After that, he hurried up the stairs to the rooftop, hoping Renjun really was there.

Something told him that Renjun might need a friend right now.

When he reached the door to the rooftop, Jaemin paused and gently pushed the door open before stepping out into the area, scanning the place with his eyes. His eyes quickly landed on Renjun, who was sitting on the ground with his knees curled up to his chest and his head buried in his arms and with a lunchbox sat beside him still untouched.

Renjun’s earphones were in, and he seemed completely unaware of Jaemin's presence. Jaemin felt something in his chest… No, it’s not quite a good feeling but instead, it was like a heavy weight settling slowly in his chest, squeezing it until he couldn’t shake it off.

He then decided to quietly walk over, careful not to startle him. As he got closer, he could see that Renjun was lost in his thoughts, completely oblivious to his surroundings.

Jaemin crouched down beside Renjun, setting the trays of food on the ground next to him. He gently tapped Renjun on the shoulder. Renjun flinched slightly, startled out of his thoughts, and looked up, pulling out his earphones. When he saw Jaemin, his eyes widened in surprise.

“What are you doing here?” Renjun asked, eyes still wide in surprise.

Jaemin gave him a small, reassuring smile, “You got me worried, napansin at narinig ko na hindi ka nag breakfast tapos wala ka sa canteen as usual, so I thought I’d bring you some lunch,” he said, gesturing to the trays of food beside them, “I wasn’t sure what you wanted so… Kung ano binili ko, ganon din ‘yung sa’yo.”

Renjun’s expression evidently softened, “You didn’t have to do that,” he murmured.

“I know,” Jaemin replied, sitting down next to him, “But I wanted to. Plus… Parang kailangan mo ng kasama ngayon eh.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

Jaemin smiled, opening one of the lunch boxes and handing it to Renjun. “Kain na tayo, alam ko sabi mo hindi ka kumakain ng hindi luto bahay, but at least try this. Pinipilahan ‘yan,” he said lightly, trying to cheer him up. “Alam mo ba kanina sa canteen, nadulas si Jeno,” Jaemin laughed, as he recalled the sight, “May nahulog kasi na tray tapos naapakan ni Jeno, ayon nadulas. Ang dami pa namang nakatingin.”

Renjun couldn’t help but smile a bit as he listened intently to Jaemin's animated storytelling. There was something soothing about the way Jaemin spoke, the way he used his hands to illustrate his points and the way his eyes sparkled with excitement. It was easy for Renjun to get lost in Jaemin's stories, his words were providing him some sort of comfort from everything else on his mind.

Jaemin noticed Renjun’s attentive gaze and smiled. He then continued to share more stories, talking about the upcoming school festival and all the different booths their classmates were planning, “Gusto mo sali tayo sa talent show?” Jaemin asked enthusiastically.

Renjun shook his head as he quietly continued to enjoy both the food and Jaemin’s voice. The warmth in Jaemin’s voice and the genuine interest he showed in their conversation made Renjun feel seen and appreciated in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Before he knew it, Renjun had finished all the food on his plate. He blinked in surprise, looking down at the empty tray in his hands. He hadn’t even realized he was eating; he had been so focused on Jaemin’s stories.

Jaemin noticed Renjun’s surprised expression and grinned widely, “For someone who doesn’t eat non-home cooked meals, huh?” he teased gently.

Renjun blushed slightly, realizing that he had been so engrossed in Jaemin’s words that he hadn’t paid any attention to what he was doing, “It’s good… I guess,” he shyly admitted, shrugging a bit.

“Good. Basta nakakain ka na... You need to take care of yourself, you know,” he said in a serious tone.

Renjun nodded, feeling a strange warmth in his chest, “I… really needed this today.”

Jaemin nodded as well, finishing up his food and leaned his back against the wall, copying Renjun’s posture, “Lagi naman ako andito,” he softly whispered.

Despite everything that had been going on, Renjun felt a little less alone, thanks to Jaemin. And for now, that was enough.

As they quietly sat together, the breeze gently blowing across the rooftop, Jaemin noticed the earphones still draped around Renjun's neck which made him tilt his head curiously, "Mahilig ka pala makinig sa music?" he asked, nodding toward the earphones.

Renjun glanced down at them, "A bit," he replied quietly.

"Do you listen to music every day?" he asked.

Renjun nodded, "Yeah, you can say na, it keeps me calm in some way," he admitted with a shrug, "I mostly listen to classical music. It’s like... white noise to me. It helps me focus and relax.."

Jaemin smiled, intrigued by this new side of Renjun. Huh, classical music at 17 years old? He then added, "Didn’t know you were into classical music. Who do you listen to?"

Renjun paused before answering, "I like listening to Chopin, Beethoven, Debussy, and sometimes Tchaikovsky. Their music... it has a way of calming me down. It’s like, no matter how chaotic things get, there’s always this steady rhythm in their compositions,” Renjun slightly blabbers about his interest.

Jaemin nodded as he intently listened to what Renjun had just said, "That makes sense," he agreed. He paused for a moment and said, “It’s really cool that you like that kind of genre. Classical music isn’t everyone's first choice, but it definitely has its own charm."

Renjun smiled slightly, appreciating Jaemin’s genuine interest, "Yeah, it does.”

Jaemin nodded, "If you ever want to share some of that music with me, I'd love to listen with you."

Renjun, feeling a little more at ease with Jaemin’s presence, decided to share a bit of his world with him. He brought up one earphone and offered it to Jaemin, "Do you want to listen?" he asked softly.

Jaemin’s eyes lit up with surprise and he nodded excitedly, "Oo naman," he replied, taking the earphone from Renjun’s hand. He scooted closer, his arm brushing against Renjun’s as he adjusted his position. It was a small touch, but Jaemin felt his heart skip a beat. He realized this was the closest he’d ever been to Renjun, and it made him feel strangely warm inside.

As he put the earphone in, Jaemin once again leaned back against the wall next to Renjun, bringing his knees up just like Renjun had. The soothing sounds of "Chopin's Etude Op. 10 No. 3, Tristesse" began to fill his ear, the gentle piano notes creating a peaceful atmosphere around them. Jaemin briefly closed his eyes as he let the music wash over him.

After a while, Jaemin opened his eyes and glanced at Renjun, who was quietly watching the sky, lost in thought. As Jaemin looked at him, he couldn’t help but notice the way the sunlight hit Renjun’s face, highlighting his soft features. A thought crept into Jaemin’s mind — one that he hadn’t fully realized until now.

He might be slowly developing a little crush on Renjun.

…Maybe?

Jaemin then felt a wave of confusion wash over him. He was young, just starting to figure things out about himself, and this romantic emotion he was feeling towards Renjun was both exciting and a little scary. He questioned himself, wondering if it was right to like someone of the same gender. He had never thought about it much before, but now, sitting here next to Renjun, sharing music and this quiet moment, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world.

Jaemin leaned his head back against the wall and let the music continue to play. For now, he decided not to overthink it. Whatever this was, it felt good. And right now, that’s all that matters.

______
A few days had passed since the afternoon Jaemin spent on the rooftop with Renjun. Everything seemed to return to normal, but there was one noticeable change: Jaemin and Renjun began eating lunch together, just the two of them. Jaemin would seek Renjun out, and they’d find a quiet spot to share their meal, often chatting about anything that came to mind. Jaemin has started enjoying these moments more than he expected, and Renjun seemed to appreciate the company as well.

One day, during homeroom period, their teacher, Ms. Kim stood at the front of the class as she announced something, "Alright, class, it’s that time of year again. We need to elect our class officers for this semester. First, let’s start with the position of class president. Any nominations?"

Immediately, one of their classmates, Jisung, raised his hand, "I nominate Renjun!" he said enthusiastically.

Renjun looked up, startled, "Wait, no, I—"

But before he could finish, Ms. Kim interrupted with a nod, "Renjun, you’ve always been such a diligent student. I think you’d make an excellent class president," She didn’t even bother asking Renjun if he wanted the position. It seemed her mind was already made up.

Renjun opened his mouth to protest, but a quick glance around the room showed that most of his classmates were nodding in agreement. With a sigh, he closed his mouth, realizing it was not worth it to argue with literally everyone in class.

"Alright, let’s have a quick vote," Ms. Kim continued, "All in favor of Renjun as class president, raise your hand."

Almost every hand in the room shot up. Renjun watched in disbelief as his classmates unanimously voted for him. Even Jaemin, who was sitting beside him, gave him a smile as he raised his hand.

"Well, it’s settled then," Ms. Kim said, jotting something down on her clipboard, "Renjun, congratulations! You’re our new class president."

Renjun nodded, still a bit dazed by how quickly things had happened, "Thank you," he said quietly, more out of obligation than enthusiasm.

"Now, moving on to the vice president," Ms. Kim said, looking around the room, "Any nominations?"

Before anyone could speak, Jaemin raised his hand. "I volunteer po," he said confidently.

Everyone in the room were murmuring, mostly in approval, but Jaemin’s ears all perked up when he heard his friends whispering; ”Weh, gusto mo lang kasama lagi si Renjun eh.” Jaemin wanted to look at them to shoot them a death glare but he decided against it– he did volunteer to be the vice president of the class in front of their homeroom teacher, so it’s not a good idea to be rebellious in front of her.

Ms. Kim smiled and nodded as she saw everyone who seemed to be approving, "Alright, Jaemin it is. Does anyone object?"

Silence filled the room. No one objected.

"Well, that’s that," Ms. Kim said, "Renjun, Jaemin, congrats sa inyo. I look forward to seeing what you two accomplish this semester."

As the class applauded, Jaemin turned to Renjun with a playful grin, "Looks like we’re stuck together now, Mr. President."

__________
A few days had passed since Renjun and Jaemin were elected as class president and vice president. Both of them had been incredibly busy with their new duties, organizing events, meeting with teachers, and planning various activities for their classmates. It was exhausting but rewarding work, in a way, and they were slowly getting used to the additional responsibilities.

One afternoon, towards the end of the school day, Ms. Kim called the two of them over, “May parents’ meeting next week. It’s important for all students and their guardians to attend, so make sure you remind your parents and your classmates too, okay?” she said with a warm smile.

Jaemin nodded, already thinking about how to tell his mom. Renjun, however, felt a tight knot form in his stomach. He wasn’t sure how to tell this to his parents, who were barely home.

After school, Renjun made his way home. When he stepped into the house, he immediately noticed the silence. It was empty, just as it usually was. He then headed to his room with a sigh, tossing his bag onto his bed.

Without much thought, he decided to send a quick text to his mother: "Mom, there's a meeting at school for parents next week. Hope you can come."

He hesitated before drafting a similar message to his father. He typed slowly, his fingers hovering over the send button for a few seconds before finally pressing it. "Dad, may parents' meeting sa school next week. I know you’re busy, but it would be great if you could attend."

After sending the messages, Renjun changed into more comfortable clothes and lay down on his bed. He closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep, the mere thought of his parents doing what parents should be doing, made him mentally and emotionally exhausted already.

__________
The week rolled by and the morning of the parents' meeting arrived, and Renjun woke up already feeling defeated by the day. He checked his phone, but there weren’t certain replies from his parents. All he got was a simple okay from his mother and that’s it. He didn’t want to remind them anymore since he knew it was just completely not worth it.

As he made his way to the dining area, he saw their yaya cleaning up, “Uhm… Umuwi po ba sila mom kagabi?” Renjun asked, trying to sound casual.

The maid shook her head apologetically, “Sabi nila sa’akin may business trip daw sila at sa makalawa na ata sila makakauwi…”

Renjun’s heart sank. He had been expecting this, but hearing it out loud made it feel even worse. Not wanting to show how disappointed he was, he simply nodded, “Okay, thanks for letting me know,” he said quietly.

He considered skipping school today. The thought of attending the parents' meeting without his parents or any guardian by his side made him feel incredibly awkward and out of place. But then he remembered that he is the class president. He knew he couldn’t just avoid his responsibilities because of how he felt. He had to be there, even if it meant standing alone.

Renjun took a deep breath and grabbed his bag and headed out the door. When he arrived at school, Renjun stood still as he looked ahead of him, the courtyard was filled with students and their parents, chatting and laughing. He saw Jaemin with his mom, both of them smiling and talking with some other parents.

People might glance at Renjun and think nothing of it– a quiet 17-year-old boy attending a parents' meeting alone. To them, it might seem normal, just another teenager whose parents were too busy or caught up with other commitments.

But for Renjun, it was far from normal.

At his age, most of the kids he met and became classmates had parents who were actively involved, showing up to every school event, cheering them on, or at least making an effort to be present.

Renjun, on the other hand, had spent most of his life doing those moments by himself. He’s terrifyingly used to the disappointed looks from teachers, the pitying glances from classmates, and the hollow excuses he made to cover for his parents’ absence.

But just because he was used to it didn't mean it hurt any less.

For as long as he could remember, Renjun had been alone– celebrating his achievements by himself, treating his own wounds, and shouldering responsibilities that should have been shared. At 17, he had long learned to stand on his own, so while others might think it was just another ordinary day for Renjun, it was a reminder of the loneliness that had been with him throughout his childhood and into his teenage years.

He shook his head and made his way to the meeting area, taking a seat near the front. He felt so out of place, surrounded by families, but he knew he had to… pretend that being alone isn’t affecting him.

Time passed by and as the parents' meeting continued, Jaemin’s sitting with his mom, trying to pay attention to what the teachers were saying. However, his gaze kept drifting over to where Renjun was sitting. Jaemin noticed that Renjun was alone, sitting quietly with his notebook open, diligently writing down every detail from the meeting. It was clear to Jaemin that Renjun was doing his best to keep up, but he also couldn't miss the hint of sadness in Renjun’s expression.

He’s by himself… again.

Jaemin wanted to go over and ask Renjun if he was okay. But he didn’t want to leave his mom alone, especially since she had taken the time to come to this meeting with him. He decided to stay put for now, though his thoughts about Renjun never left his mind.

Meanwhile, Renjun continued to take notes, jotting down everything that seemed important. He wanted to make sure he had all the information he needed to share with his parents, even though he knew deep down that they might not even read what he wrote. When the teacher started handing out papers that needed to be signed by a parent or guardian, Renjun’s head shot up, watching as the teacher slowly started to approach him.

Renjun took one of the forms and glanced over it. He could feel the eyes of other students and parents on him, the whispers starting to grow around him. People were noticing that he was there alone, without any parent or guardian, and it made him feel even more out of place. He was reluctant at first but then he quietly raised his hand to get the teacher's attention.

"Ms. Kim," Renjun said softly, "Okay lang po ba if a guardian signs this instead of a parent?"

Ms. Kim looked at Renjun and her expression immediately softened. She nodded understandingly, "Of course, Renjun. If a guardian is available, they can sign it.”

Renjun nodded, mumbling a quiet thank you. He tried to focus on the form, but the whispers were becoming louder, and he couldn’t help but feel the weight of them. He heard bits and pieces of conversations around him– some questioning where his parents were, others making assumptions about why he was alone.

Jaemin could also hear the whispers from across the room. The murmuring caught his attention, and his jaw tightened in annoyance. Though he understood that making a scene would just make Renjun's situation worse, so instead, he forced himself to stay seated, gripping the edge of his chair tightly as he tried to control his emotions.

He wished he could do something to help Renjun, to make the situation easier for him. But for now, all he could do was wait and hope that the meeting would end soon so he could be with Renjun afterward.

-

Dinner came and Jaemin and his parents were sharing a meal in their cozy home. But despite the appetizing meal in front of him, Jaemin’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he couldn’t stop thinking about Renjun and what had happened at the meeting earlier.

The memory of Renjun sitting there alone, looking so vulnerable, played over and over in his mind. He pushed his food around his plate, barely eating as he was lost in thought.

His parents sat across from him, quietly eating their meals. His mother glanced at him with a concerned look when she noticed Jaemin was out of it. Finally, Jaemin set down his fork and spoke up, "Ma, nakita mo po ba si Renjun kanina sa meeting?” he asked.

His mother looked up, a bit surprised by the sudden question, "Renjun? ‘Yung kinekwento mo sa’akin na kaklase mo? Oo pero, he was sitting by himself, diba?" she replied, nodding.

Jaemin sighed, nodding as well, “Yeah... he was. I feel bad for him. Wala na nga ‘yung parents niya tapos kung anu-ano pa binubulong ng mga kaklase namin... I just–" He paused, trying to find the right words, "I can't stop thinking about it. Hindi ko po alam kung bakit..." he then added, with his eyebrows furrowed together, glaring at nothing on the table, "I mean..." he paused as he struggled to find the right words, "I can't stop thinking about him. Not just today… But all the time.”

His parents exchanged a surprised glance. They had always known Jaemin to be a caring and empathetic person, but this was the first time he had spoken about his feelings so openly. His mother tried to reason gently, "Anak, it sounds like you care about him as a friend. Normal lang ‘yan, hindi ba sabi mo sa’akin na you’re getting closer with him?"

Jaemin shook his head, feeling a little frustrated and the need to clarify himself, "Hindi po… I think I might like him more than just as a friend. Hindi po ako sigurado kung ano dapat mararamdaman ko… Pero… Gusto ko lang po sana sabihin sa inyo agad..."

The room suddenly fell silent with the weight of Jaemin’s words hanging in the air. His parents took a moment to process what their son had just shared. Jaemin just watched them. He hadn’t planned on having this conversation, especially not at dinner, but it had just come out.

After a moment, his father was the first to speak. He reached across the table and placed a hand on Jaemin’s shoulder, offering him a reassuring smile, "Alam mo naman na susuportahan ka namin kahit ano mangyari. It’s okay to be confused or unsure right now. Gusto lang namin na masya ka at andito lang kami para sa’yo..."

His mother fondly smiled at him, nodding in agreement as her expression softened, "Mhm, no matter who you like or how you feel, we’re always going to love and support you. Anak ka namin and that will never change."

Jaemin felt a wave of relief wash over him, as if he’d been holding his breath for years. He let out a long, shaky exhale, "Thank you po," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

His father squeezed his shoulder gently before letting go, "Take your time, anak. Bata ka pa, you have all the time in the world to figure things out, hm? You don’t have to have everything figured out right now."

Jaemin nodded, a warm smile spreading across his lips, feeling grateful for their understanding. He still had a lot to think about and a lot of feelings to sort through, but knowing he had his parents' support made it a little easier.

__________
The next day came and as Jaemin walked into school, he wondered how the day would go.

Would things be awkward in the classroom after everything that had happened at the parent meeting? Basically almost everyone who doesn't personally know Renjun had been whispering behind his back…

But to his surprise, the day took a turn he hadn’t expected.

During their morning class, Renjun seemed more at ease than usual. He sat next to Jaemin as always, but there was something different about him– an energy that Jaemin hadn’t noticed before.

At one point when their teacher hadn't arrived, Renjun leaned over and talked to Jaemin on his own accord, “Jaemin,” he whispered, “I’ve been meaning to tell you about something I discovered recently.”

Jaemin turned to him, leaning closer as well, “Ano ‘yon?”

Renjun’s eyes lit up, “Max Richter. It’s kind of like classical music, but more modern. It’s called ‘On the Nature of Daylight.’ Have you heard of it?”

Jaemin shook his head, leaning in closer to hear more, “Hindi pa. What’s it like?”

“It’s... calming. It’s like classical music, but it feels more emotional in a way, you know? It really helped me relax lately,” Renjun explained, his tone was soft but Jaemin can still hear the excitement laced in it. Renjun tapped away on his phone, to show Jaemin the cover picture of the song.

Jaemin nodded, soaking in every word. He loved seeing Renjun like this– excited and open. It was a side of him he hadn’t seen before, and it made Jaemin’s heart swell, in a good way.

Later that same day when lunch break came, Jaemin was surprised when Renjun walked over to him, holding a sandwich, “Do… you want to share this with me?” Renjun quietly asked, almost like a whisper, as he held out the sandwich.

Jaemin grinned, “Sure,” They went up the rooftop and sat down together, shared the sandwich and even Renjun's earphones, so they could both listen to the song Renjun had been obsessed about. Jaemin couldn’t help but notice how comfortable he felt around Renjun. It was as if something had suddenly shifted between them, making everything feel more natural.

As they ate, Renjun continued to talk about music, his eyes bright with enthusiasm and it’s the first time Jaemin had ever heard and seen Renjun talk longer than, like, 10 seconds.

“I’ve also been listening to some of Vivaldi’s lesser-known works. They’re all really beautiful, but a lot of people overlook them because they only know his famous pieces like ‘The Four Seasons.’”

Jaemin just listened intently both to Renjun and the music flowing in his ears. He would nod occasionally, flashing him small smiles but mostly he was captivated by Renjun’s… No, just Renjun, in general. It was so rare to see him so openly expressive, and Jaemin found himself admiring the way Renjun’s whole face lit up when he talked about something he loved.

Jaemin even barely registered the sandwich in his hand as he continued to watch Renjun, the world seemed to be blurring until all he could focus on was the boy in front of him. Jaemin could notice every little detail about Renjun– his soft features; his eyes and how they would crinkle slightly when he’s smiling and how his nose is a little round yet sharp at the same time, his lips and how he would purse them together when he’s not talking, and the loose strands of his hair framing his face perfectly.

With the music still playing softly in his ear, Jaemin was completely drawn by Renjun, it was like the classical music turned the moment into something cinematic– straight from a movie.

As Renjun continued to talk, Jaemin noticed a small crumb of sandwich on Renjun’s lips. A part of him wanted to reach out and brush it away, but he hesitated. Renjun was so absorbed in his story and Jaemin didn’t want to interrupt him.

But the more Jaemin watched Renjun, the louder his heartbeat seemed to grow, even to the point that it’s drowning out the music in his ears. The steady thump-thump-thump felt like it was echoing in his chest like it was trying to communicate something to him, something he wasn’t quite ready to fully acknowledge yet.

Jaemin wondered if Renjun could hear that… The way his heart was pounding in his chest, the way it was beating for him.

But then Renjun turned to him and asked, “What do you think?”

Jaemin, still caught up in the moment, gazes at Renjun with a dazed expression, “It’s… pretty,” he said it’s like the words slipped out before he could fully process them.

Renjun tilted his head to the side, “Pretty?”

Jaemin shook his head slightly then he quickly nodded, trying to play it cool, “Classical music can be… pretty.”

Renjun raised an eyebrow but he eventually nodded, “I suppose it can be.”

For the rest of the day, they stuck close together, talking a lot like old friends.

And as they walked to their next class, Jaemin couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, things were starting to change for the better.

Not until the next morning, Jaemin walked into class, expecting to see Renjun in his usual seat. But to his surprise, Renjun wasn’t there.

It wasn’t like Renjun to miss a school day.

Jaemin sat down and turned around to look at Chenle and Jeno, who were chatting behind him. When he caught their attention, he mouthed, “Si Renjun?”

Chenle and Jeno shrugged their shoulders as they had no idea where Renjun was either. As the day went on, Jaemin kept glancing at the door, half-expecting Renjun to walk in at any moment.

Renjun hadn’t even messaged him, and Jaemin realized he didn’t even have a way to contact him.

Suddenly, the teacher called out his name, snapping him out of his thoughts, “Jaemin, can you come here for a moment? We need to discuss the plans for the graduation ball.”

Jaemin nodded and made his way to the front of the class. As the teacher laid out the plans and details for the upcoming graduation ball, Jaemin jotted everything down diligently. But his mind was elsewhere. He kept thinking about Renjun, wondering where he could be and why he hadn’t shown up.

After a few minutes of trying to concentrate, Jaemin couldn’t hold back his worry any longer, “Um, excuse me po, ma’am,” he slowly interrupted the teacher, “May number po kayo ni Renjun? He didn’t come to class today, and I’m a bit worried...”

The teacher gave him a sympathetic look but shook her head, “I’m sorry, Jaemin, but I can’t give you his number. It’s private information. If you’re really worried, maybe you could ask around or wait until he comes back to school.”

Jaemin nodded, “Alright, thank you po,” he murmured.

He then spent the rest of the period in a daze, writing down notes mechanically while his thoughts kept circling back to Renjun. He hoped everything was okay and that Renjun would show up soon.

Here comes the next day… Jaemin entered the classroom hoping that Renjun would be on his desk, reading or writing whatever but… none. He hadn’t heard from Renjun since his sudden disappearance yesterday.

As Jaemin sat down, Chenle approached and took the seat next to him, “Walang balita kay Renjun?”

Jaemin shook his head, “Wala, hindi rin niya ako minemessage… So wala talaga akong idea kung asan siya o nangyari sa kanya.”

Chenle nodded, “First time ni Renjun umabsent. Dalawang araw pa.”

Jaemin sighed, “Sana nga alam ko kung ano nangyayari.”

Chenle leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice as if sharing a secret, “Hindi ako sigurado pero… Take this with a grain of salt, but I overheard my dad talking on the phone yesterday. He was talking to Renjun’s dad. Apparently, there’s a lot of trouble in their company.”

Jaemin’s eyes widened slightly, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked at Chenle, “Trouble?”

“I don’t know all the details,” Chenle replied, his brows furrowed as well, “Hindi ako but I think it’s pretty serious... My dad mentioned that the very head of their company is coming back to the Philippines… at ‘yung lolo ni Renjun ‘yon and… My dad said something about Renjun’s grandfather being a lot stricter than his dad. If he’s coming back, it’s probably because things are really bad.”

“Kaya ba wala siya dito?” Jaemin asked.

“Maybe,” Chenle said with a shrug, “If there’s a lot of stress at home, he might be caught up in it. I just hope he’s okay.”

__________
The day after, as Jaemin walked toward the classroom, he wrote down a list of things he needed to relay to Renjun. The graduation ball, the upcoming quiz bee, and the advocacy they were planning to propose to the principal were all important details he knew Renjun would want to know about.

As he approached the classroom door and stepped inside, his eyes immediately scanned the room. A wave of relief washed over him when he spotted Renjun sitting at his usual desk. Jaemin's face lit up with a smile, feeling a rush of happiness at seeing him again. However, that joy quickly faded when he noticed Renjun's appearance.

Renjun’s eyes which usually hold a bright and attentive gaze look way different. He has dark circles under his eyes, obviously because of sleepless nights, and his shoulders were slumped. He looked utterly exhausted, and Jaemin's heart ached at the sight.

Jaemin slowly walked over to him, "Hey, Renjun," he greeted softly, trying to keep his tone light and friendly, "...Tagal mo nawala ah..."

Renjun managed a faint smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes, "Yeah," he mumbled.

Jaemin thinks before eventually asking with a gentle tone, “Is everything okay? You seem… tired," he wasn’t the type of person to pry on anyone's personal life but he couldn’t just ignore the obvious distress Renjun was in.

Renjun shook his head slowly, avoiding Jaemin's eyes, "It’s nothing," he replied quietly.

Jaemin nodded, not wanting to push him any further. He could tell that Renjun wasn’t ready to talk about whatever was bothering him, so he decided to change the subject, "You didn’t miss much naman. Just a few things we need to catch up on."

Renjun looked up at him, "So, what did I miss?" he asked, trying to sound interested, even though his exhaustion was evident.

"We have the graduation ball coming up, so there’s a lot of planning to do. There’s also an upcoming quiz bee that I know you’d be great at. And then, we’re supposed to present our advocacy to the principal soon. So, a lot is happening."

Renjun nodded slowly, "Okay."

Jaemin watched him closely, he wanted to help but wasn’t sure how, “...Just let me know if you need help with anything, alright? Kahit ano."

Renjun nodded again, "Mhm, you too."

Jaemin returned the smile but deep down he hoped Renjun would open up to him soon.

It was finally lunch break, and the classroom buzzed with the usual chatter as students gathered their things and prepared to head out. Renjun, feeling drained and overwhelmed, looked over at Jaemin, who was busy packing up his bag. He hesitated for a moment, then approached him.

"Jaemin," Renjun started softly, not wanting to draw attention to their conversation, "Do you mind if I eat somewhere else today?"

Jaemin looked up, instantly sensing something in Renjun’s voice, "Sure, but… do you want to eat alone?" he asked gently, already guessing the answer.

Renjun eyes darted around the room to avoid meeting Jaemin’s gaze, "Yeah, I just… I think I need some time by myself.”

Jaemin purses his lips together, "I understand, pero I don’t want you to be alone with your thoughts right now. Besides, I’d feel better if I was with you," he said, a small smile spreading on his lips, "Ayokong mag-isa ka when you’re feeling like this."

Renjun was about to protest but as he glanced around the classroom, he noticed a few of their classmates glancing their way. Renjuin let out a sigh and nodded, not wanting to cause a scene or draw more attention.

"Okay," he said softly, “Tara."

Jaemin’s face lit up with a small smile. Renjun gave him a nod, then turned and headed out of the classroom, with Jaemin following closely behind. They walked in silence through the hallways, passing groups of students chatting and laughing.

When they reached the rooftop, Renjun pushed the door open and stepped out into the fresh air. The familiar spot was empty, just as he had hoped. He made his way to their usual place, a corner where they often sat together, and sat down. Jaemin followed and sat beside him.

For a moment, they just sat there in silence, Jaemin glanced over at Renjun, watching as he stared out at the sky, lost in thought. He wanted to say something but then he also didn’t want to intrude on Renjun’s need for space.

Instead, Jaemin reached into his bag and pulled out two home-cooked lunches, "Here," he said quietly, handing another cute bento box to Renjun, "I brought extra, just in case."

Renjun looked at the pink bento box in Jaemin’s hand before taking it with a slight chuckle, "Thanks, sa kapatid mo ba ‘to?”

Jaemin shook his head, smiling as well upon hearing Renjun’s laugh, “Sa’akin din. Wala akong kapatid.”

Renjun was surprised but he did expect Jaemin to be an only child… It is quite obvious.

As they ate, Jaemin kept his promise and didn’t press Renjun to talk. He knew that sometimes, just having someone there was enough.

-

As the final bell rang which signals the end of the school day, students began to pack up their things and head out of the classroom. Jaemin watched as Renjun slowly and deliberately collected his belongings. Chenle and Jeno, on the other hand, had finished packing their bags and said their goodbyes to the two before heading toward the door.

"Una na kayo," Jaemin called out to them, waving as they left. He then turned his attention back to Renjun, who was still organizing his things.

Jaemin began to pack his own bag, occasionally glancing over at Renjun and after a few moments of silence, Renjun spoke up, "Uhm Jaemin," he said, "Have you started on our advocacy presentation yet? Para sa principal?"

Jaemin looked up from his bag, flashing Renjun a sheepish smile, "Actually… Wala pa ako sinisimulan kasi… Inaantay kita. I thought we could work on it together."

Renjun nodded as he zipped up his bag, "Well, I’ll start it now. I’m planning to stay at the library until it closes," he said.

Jaemin watched Renjun swing his bag over his shoulders and start to walk out of the classroom. He then hurried to fix his things into his bag as he quickly caught up to Renjun, "Ayaw mo pa umuwi noh?” he asked without having any second thoughts.

Renjun turns to look at him, his eyes wide in surprise, confused about why and how Jaemin saw right through him. Renjun eventually nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor, "Oo… Ayoko pa.”

Jaemin’s heart did that thing again… That… squeezing and aching feeling. He could sense the heaviness in Renjun’s words, the silent struggle behind them. Without saying anything more, Jaemin said gently, "Okay, samahan kita.”

The library room was quiet, the only backdrop heard was the soft hum of computers and the rustles of pages. Jaemin and Renjun settled into their seats, their uniform blazers draped over the backs of their chairs. The dim light of the desk lamps cast a gentle glow on their faces as they turned their attention to the computer screens in front of them.

Renjun stared blankly at the computer, his eyes glazed over as he struggled to find inspiration for their advocacy presentation. Jaemin, seated beside him, leaned slightly forward, his arm resting casually on the backrest of Renjun's chair. He too was deep in thought, trying to brainstorm ideas to offer to Renjun.

Renjun let out a small and almost self-deprecating laugh with a hint of frustration, "I can't believe I’m drawing a blank," he murmured, shaking his head slightly. He bit his bottom lip and briefly closed his eyes. His struggle was evident… Evident enough for Jaemin to notice it.

And so, without thinking much, Jaemin gently placed his hand over Renjun's and gently squeezed Renjun’s hand.

Renjun looked down at their hands– Jaemin’s much larger hand fully covering his slender one. The gesture caught him off guard, he then glanced up at Jaemin, who offered a small, encouraging smile.

"It's okay…” Jaemin softly said, “We don’t have to have everything figured out right now,” he said, copying exactly what his father had just told him, “Let’s just take it one step at a time,” he gave Renjun's hand another gentle squeeze before letting go, "Andito ako… To help you, hm?"

They both turned their attention back to the screens and with Jaemin's support, Renjun felt a little more ready to face it… whatever it is.

After finishing up the very short draft for their plans as the class president and vice president, they found themselves walking back to the front gates.

As they’re walking silently, Jaemin’s fiddling with the straps of his bags before taking a deep breath, clearing his throat, “Gusto mo ice cream?”

“Ice cream?”

Jaemin smiled at Renjun when he turned to look at him– even the slightest attention from Renjun could bring a smile to Jaemin’s face, "Tara, libre ko," he insisted.

Renjun nodded, "Alright, I guess," he said with a small smile.

They walked over to the vendor, who greeted them with a friendly smile and offered them a variety of flavors. After a brief moment of contemplation, Renjun chose ube while Jaemin opted for keso. Jaemin paid for the ice cream, thanking the vendor as he handed them their treats.

With their ice cream in hand, they made their way to a nearby bench, sitting down to enjoy the cool treat as the sun began to set. The sky was painted in hues of yellow and pink, casting a warm glow over the school grounds.

Jaemin decided to ask Renjun something that had been on his mind for a while, “Nakikita kita may nag hahatid sundo sa’yo araw araw ah. Papa mo ba ‘yon?" he asked, glancing at the sleek black car that’s parked in front of the school gates.

Renjun shook his head, taking a small bite of his ice cream, "No, driver ko," he explained, "Busy parents ko sa work, so they aren't around much." Renjun once again took a small bite of his ube-flavored ice cream, before he spoke up again, "My dad wouldn't make the effort to drop me off at school, anyway," he said with a sarcastic smile, a hint of sadness flickering in his eyes. Realizing how it sounded, he quickly added, "Joke lang."

Jaemin gave a small chuckle, but it also immediately turned back to a serious expression. Jaemin cleared his throat and tried to keep the conversation light, "Well, at least may driver ka to bring you around," he said, taking another bite of his ice cream.

Renjun nodded, his smile softening, "Yeah, I guess that's true," he agreed, though his voice was a bit quieter. He took another lick of his ice cream and glanced up at the sky, watching the colors shift as the sun continued to set.

Jaemin watched him for a moment, then decided to change the subject, "You know, we should do this more often,” he said, shrugging, “Just hang out and have some food after school… It's nice."

Renjun looked over at Jaemin, noticing how he was casually holding both of their blazers making his expression soften even more, "It is nice," he agreed, feeling a warmth spread through him that definitely wasn't just from the setting sun.

For Renjun, it felt like all the worries about his family seemed to fade away, slowly being replaced by the simple pleasure of sharing a moment with Jaemin.

A few hours passed, Renjun finally returned home, still feeling pretty pleasant from his time together with Jaemin. As he entered his room, he set down his bag and took out his phone, scrolling through the photos they had taken earlier. One particular selfie, where Jaemin had managed to coax a smile out of him, stood out.

Renjun stared at the photo, feeling a small smile tug at his lips as he remembered how persistent Jaemin had been, "Dali naaa, selfie lang naman!" Jaemin had insisted, holding Renjun’s phone up and grinning wide. Renjun had rolled his eyes but couldn't help but smile as Jaemin leaned in close, their faces only inches apart.

Renjun hesitated as his finger hovered over the send button but he decided to go for it.

He typed a quick message:

Renjun: Thank you for today. Here's the selfie you badly wanted.

Renjun hit send and watched as the message was delivered. A soft smile spread across his face as he imagined Jaemin’s reaction. Almost immediately, his phone buzzed with a reply.

Jaemin - Classmate: HAHAHA
we look good together! [wink emoji]
lets do this again sometime [nodding emoji]

Renjun's smile grew wider as he read the message. He hasn't realized it himself but he’s focusing more now on the simple joy of having someone who cared, someone who made an effort to be close to him.

Renjun: Yeah.
Let's do it again soon.

Renjun sets his phone down on his chest, fluttering his eyes closed while the smile never leaves his lips. He can’t believe that he’s actually looking forward to tomorrow…

Jaemin, on the other hand, when he saw the notification on his phone from an unknown number, he immediately knew it had to be Renjun. Jaemin’s face lit up when he read the text from Renjun and saw the selfie they took together.

Jaemin’s hands trembled slightly in excitement as he saved Renjun’s number, and he couldn’t help but giggle quietly, covering his mouth to muffle the sound. He felt a rush of joy and nervous excitement coursing through him.

Getting Renjun’s number felt like a huge step, and he couldn’t believe it had finally happened.

As he saved the contact, Jaemin paused, thinking about what to name Renjun on his phone. He wanted something unique, something that captured the way he felt about Renjun but also made him smile every time he saw it. He started brainstorming in his head:

"Renjun [sun emoji]," he thought, because Renjun always seemed to shine in his own quiet, understated way.

Or maybe "RJ - Class President,"

No… Too formal.

He chuckled softly, trying to decide, "How about 'Renjun si mysterious seatmate?" Jaemin thought, laughing to himself. Renjun was mysterious, after all.

But then Jaemin decided to keep it simple, he settled on "Renjun [smiley emoji]" because every time he thought of Renjun, he couldn’t help but smile.

Jaemin saved the contact and leaned back, his grin growing wider. Jaemin knew he had a lot of feelings to sort through, but right now, all he could think about was texting Renjun back and starting a conversation that he hoped would never end.

__________
Few days passed…

Bzzt. Bzzt

Renjun, fresh from dreamland, slowly wakes up due to the buzzing of his phone from the nightstand. He still had his eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed into a frown, before struggling to open his eyes. He then blindly reaches for his phone and checks the notification.

Jaemin – Classmate: Good morning, Renjun!!
anong oras ka papasok? [smiling emoji]

Despite it being so early in the morning, Renjun couldn’t help but smile widely as he typed back a quick reply, telling Jaemin when he'd be leaving. It had become a routine for them to text each other in the mornings. As much as he wasn’t used to it at first, Renjun found he liked having someone to talk to at the start of his day.

After classes, as Renjun was packing up his things and getting ready to leave, his phone buzzed again. He glanced down to see another text from Jaemin.

Jaemin – Classmate: ingat ka pauwi! corry nauna na ako [sad emoji] nagmamadali kasi si mama [sad emoji]"

Renjun couldn’t help but feel a warm glow in his chest at Jaemin’s message. There was something comforting about knowing that Jaemin was thinking of him, even after school hours. He quickly replied with a short, "It’s okay… Ingat ka din." and slid his phone into his pocket, feeling lighter than he had in days.

That night, as Renjun lay on his bed, still in his school clothes, his phone buzzed once more. He grabbed it, already expecting Jaemin’s message.

Jaemin – Classmate: so… how was your day?

Renjun found himself smiling yet again as he started typing out a reply. They exchanged messages back and forth for a few minutes, talking about their day, despite being together the whole day, sharing little jokes, and even discussing random things like favorite ice cream flavors and songs they liked.

This had been their routine for a few days now—texts in the morning, more messages after school, and then a longer chat before bed. Renjun didn't mind it at all. In fact, he looked forward to their conversations. It felt nice to have someone to talk to, someone who seemed to genuinely care about how his day went and what he was thinking.

As Renjun lay there, his eyes started growing heavy, he realized just how much these small exchanges with Jaemin had started to mean to him. He sent one last text before setting his phone down on his chest:

Renjun: Goodnight, Jaemin. See you tomorrow.

A reply came almost instantly: Jaemin – Classmate: Goodnight, Renjun [smile emoji] sweet dreams !!!! ˙ᵕ˙

Renjun closed his eyes, a small smile still on his lips as he drifted off to sleep.

__________
One morning, as Renjun was sitting at the breakfast table with his phone in hand, a soft smile played on his lips. He was reading through the latest messages from Jaemin, their usual morning exchange filled with light-hearted jokes and friendly teasing. His yaya, who had been with his family for years and knew Renjun well and probably seen it all, noticed the change in his demeanor.

“You’ve been smiling a lot lately,” she said with a warm smile as she placed a plate of hefty Filipino breakfast in front of him, “Something good happened?”

Renjun looked up, a slight blush creeping up to his cheeks, “I’ve just… gotten close with someone recently,” he admitted shyly, trying to downplay the fluttering feeling in his chest.

Her eyes softened with genuine affection, “I’m glad to hear that.”

Renjun nodded, his smile growing a bit wider. “Yeah, it’s been nice.” He didn’t elaborate, but the thought of Jaemin made his heart feel a little lighter.

As Renjun finished his breakfast and grabbed his bag, he headed out the door where his driver was waiting to take him to school. During the ride, Renjun’s attention was mostly on his phone, his thumbs almost flying over the screen as he exchanged texts with Jaemin. The driver noticed the subtle, happy expression on Renjun’s face and couldn’t help but feel curious.

“Sir, it’s nice to see you have been in a good mood lately…” the driver commented with a friendly tone, glancing at Renjun through the rearview mirror.

Renjun looked up from his phone, the same soft smile still lingering, “I’ve just been spending more time with a friend lately.”

The driver nodded, a smile tugging at his lips as he focused back on the road. He was genuinely happy to see Renjun in such good spirits. It wasn’t often that Renjun allowed himself to be this openly happy.

When they arrived at the school, the driver pulled up to the curb, ready to let Renjun out. As Renjun stepped out of the car, the driver’s eyes followed him, noticing someone waiting nearby.

It was Jaemin, standing with a bright smile as he spotted Renjun.

Renjun’s face lit up at the sight of Jaemin, and he practically skipped over to meet him, his whole demeanor filled with a kind of joy that the driver hadn’t seen in a long time. The sight warmed the driver’s heart; it was clear that this new friend meant a lot to Renjun.

Watching Renjun and Jaemin greet each other with such genuine happiness, the driver felt a sense of satisfaction wash over him. He had watched Renjun grow up, seeing both his struggles and his moments of happiness, and it made him happy to see that Renjun was finding a reason to smile again.

__________
Preparing for a quiz bee was never easy.

It meant long nights spent hovering over textbooks, notes filled with scribbled facts and formulas, and a mind constantly buzzing with information. Representing the whole class section was already pressuring but adding to the weight are the expectations from everyone, and the fear of forgetting even the smallest detail.

Every question could be the difference between victory and defeat.

Renjun, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jeno, the top-performing students, all have been chosen to represent their class in the upcoming quiz bee. While this was exciting news, Renjun was starting to feel a bit anxious. Although he and Jaemin had become close, he wasn’t as familiar with Chenle and Jeno, who were Jaemin's childhood best friends. But Renjun, Chenle and Jeno have been classmates since like… 5th grade.

The four of them decided to schedule study dates to prepare for the competition. As they gathered in the library after school for their first session, Renjun remained quiet, just observing the conversations between the three friends. Renjun couldn’t almost believe that Chenle and Jeno could be even louder compared to when they were inside the classroom. Their conversation was filled with jokes and laughter, while Jaemin seemed at ease and is clearly used to their playful banter.

Jaemin leaned over to Renjun, who he noticed was quiet, and whispered, "Don’t worry about them. Mabait naman sila… Maiingay lang but they mean well.”

Renjun nodded, "I know… It’s just… Still… A bit awkward,” he replied quietly, slightly tumbling over his words.

"Renjun," Chenle started, grinning widely and was already giggling, "Naalala mo ‘nung nadapa si Jeno ‘nung nag babasketball tayo sa P.E. noon?"

Jeno rolled his eyes playfully, "Ang pangit ‘nung tumba ko non ah! Buti nga naka survive pa ako.”

Renjun couldn’t help but chuckle at their antics, his nerves slowly easing as he saw how genuinely lighthearted they were.

"Ikaw nga natamaan ng shuttlecock nung nag babadminton tayo eh, tapos ‘nung ikaw na mag seserve imbis na over the net, sa ulo ng prof natin tumama ‘yung bola," Jeno continued with a mocking tone and laughing right after.

“Eto naman! Pinaalala pa,” Chenle hides his face in his hands as he remembers the embarrassing moment, “Kalbo pa naman si sir… Kaya ‘nung tumama… Tumalbog din ‘yung shuttlecock,” he mumbles, making everyone laugh, including Renjun.

As the laughter subsided, Renjun realized he was starting to feel more comfortable around them. It wasn’t long before he also started sharing a few short stories of his own, and the group continued exchanging jokes and focusing on their study material after.

It’s like the first time Renjun felt like he was truly a part of the group. He might not have been as close with Chenle and Jeno as Jaemin was, but he could see why Jaemin loves their friendship.

And maybe, just maybe, he could see himself becoming closer to them, too.

At the end of the day, Jaemin and Renjun walked out of the school together, their bags slung over their shoulders. The sun was beginning to set and as they reached the gates, Jaemin turned to Renjun with a smile, “Gusto mo kumain muna bago tayo umuwi?" Jaemin suggested, pointing toward a small cluster of vendors nearby, "They have some really good street food there."

Renjun glances around as he remembered that his driver was waiting for him, "...My driver’s already here," he said, pointing to the familiar black car parked nearby.

"Mhm, sige, basta next time ah."

Renjun looked over at his driver, who seemed to be watching him expectantly. He considered Jaemin’s offer for a moment and then shrugged. "Uh Jaemin… I think it’s okay for him to wait a little. We could–"

Before Renjun could finish his sentence, his driver quickly stepped out of the car and approached him. He leaned in close, speaking in a low voice meant only for Renjun to hear, "I’m sorry to interrupt, but your whole family is at home. Your grandfather, your parents and kahit sila miss Wendy at sir Doyoung… They’re waiting for you."

Renjun’s eyes widened in surprise, "They’re all here? Kahit sila ate?" he repeated, his voice filled with shock. He hadn’t expected his family to be home, let alone all together. His mind raced, wondering why they hadn’t told him sooner.

The driver nodded, "Yes, they arrived a little while ago from the States, and they’re expecting you."

Renjun glanced back at Jaemin, "I’m really sorry, Jaemin," he said softly, "I have to go home."

Jaemin flashes Renjun an understanding smile, "Okay lang! Bukas na lang."

"Thanks for understanding. I’ll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course," Jaemin replied, waving as Renjun turned to follow his driver back to the car.

As Renjun climbed into the backseat, his mind was still spinning, he brought his hand up to massage the spot between his eyebrows. He hadn’t seen his brother and sister in a long time, and the thought of his entire family being together again made him feel like he was about to throw up.

After the long car ride that honestly felt like forever, they arrived at their family mansion, Renjun stepped into the grand foyer but the familiar opulence felt more overwhelming than comforting. He took a deep breath before entering the living room, where his entire family was gathered.

The sight of his family seated in the elegantly furnished living room brought a mix of emotions. His brother and sister, who he hadn’t seen in nearly three years, looked up as he walked in. They exchanged brief, stiff glances despite their familiarity, the presence of their grandfather and parents created an invisible barrier, making their “reunion” feel tense.

Renjun’s grandfather, a formidable figure in the family business, was seated in a high-backed armchair, with an unreadable yet stern expression. His parents were on the sofa, looking somewhat apprehensive.

“Son, come and sit down,” his mother called gently, gesturing to an empty seat next to his sister. Renjun obliged and once he was seated, his grandfather looked at him with a penetrating gaze, “Renjun,” he began, “You’re about to graduate high school. What are your plans for college?”

Before Renjun could respond, his mother spoke up, “He plans to pursue a degree in business, as we have discussed.”

The grandfather nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Renjun, “That’s good to hear. I hope you understand the role you will play in our family’s future.”

Renjun’s heart raced. He already knew what was coming but had hoped it wouldn’t be addressed so soon. His grandfather continued, “I am here to discuss the future of our businesses, both in the States and in the Philippines. The current generation needs to be prepared to take over and expand these ventures. Doyoung at Wendy will be handling my businesses in the States, and you, Renjun, dito ka muna sa Pilipinas, I’m still deciding whether to place you here or in the States. Focus on finishing your studies first. Pag-usapan ulit natin bago ka kolehiyo.”

His grandfather’s words were not merely suggestions but directives– they cannot just reject his words. Renjun could feel the pressure piling up, his family’s expectations, and the responsibilities of his future pressing down on him.

He glanced at his brother and sister, who seemed to be in their own state of contemplation. The room felt stifling, Renjun swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his grandfather’s gaze and the gravity of the conversation sinking in.

The conversation continued, with his grandfather detailing the specific roles Renjun and his siblings would be expected to take on in the family businesses. The future was laid out before him, not as a series of choices but as a predetermined path that he was expected to follow.

As the discussion went on, Renjun sat silently, his mind circling around with thoughts of ice cream and Jaemin…. He longed for simplicity, for the days when his biggest concern would be whether to have chocolate or vanilla. But now, the reality of his family’s expectations weighed heavily on him, overshadowing that simple life he’s craving for.

Once the meeting concluded, Renjun was finally granted permission to retreat to his room. As soon as he closed the door behind him, the weight of being in the same room as everyone else seemed to lift slightly, but he still felt very exhausted. He sank onto the edge of his bed, his shoulders slumping as he drew his knees up to his chest, seeking comfort in his own personal space.

He picked up his phone, scrolling aimlessly through his messages and photos. His fingers hovered over the screen, quite surprised that he mindlessly clicked on Jaemin’s contact name. He then navigated to the gallery, where he found the selfie they took together. The image captured a moment of genuine happiness and alongside it were pictures of the ice cream and street food they enjoyed.

Lost in his own thoughts, Renjun almost didn’t notice the gentle knock on his door. His sister, Wendy, peeked in before stepping inside. She looked at him before sitting down beside him, both their backs resting on the edge of the bed.

“Kamusta ka?” She asked softly, also bringing her knees up to her chest, hugging it closely as she kept her gaze at Renjun, who just shrugged in response, so she then asked, “Sila dad? Kamusta naman sila sa’yo?”

“The usual,” Renjun replied with a sigh, feeling the heaviness of their absence more than ever, “Never really around.”

Wendy nodded understandingly, “And how’s school been for you? It’s been a while since we’ve talked.”

It definitely had been years since they were close, and the years apart had created a slight awkwardness between them, “It’s… it’s been okay,” he said, his voice lacking the enthusiasm he usually displayed when talking about school to his sister, “We’ve got a lot of things going on, like the quiz bee and stuff.”

Wendy tilted her head slightly, “Anything interesting happened? Any new friends?”

Renjun hesitated, the memory of Jaemin and their recent moments together instantly flashed through his mind. He didn’t want to delve into it too deeply, partly because he wasn’t sure how to explain the significance of Jaemin to his sister, “Yeah, some new friends. We’re working on a few projects together. It’s been... busy. Anyway, how’s college treating you?”

Wendy sighed. “It’s hard, but I’m managing. I think you can handle it too, Renjun. You are the smartest out of the three of us.”

Renjun chuckled as he rolled his eyes, he then decided to change the topic, “Hanggang kailan kayo dito?”

Wendy scrunches her nose, “Babalik na din kami bukas ng umaga.”

Renjun’s eyes widened slightly, “You just got back. Kanina… Diba?”

Wendy nodded with a resigned expression, “Yeah, it’s a bit sudden, pero alam mo naman sila dad… Kahit anong utos ng lolo natin, kailangan nila sundin, tapos ganon din ginagawa sa’atin… No matter how inconvenient it is for us.”

“I can’t believe they’d let you come all the way back to the Philippines just for a meeting that could’ve been handled through messages.”

Wendy shrugged, “They follow his lead, and we don’t have much say in it.”

Renjun lets out a heavy breath, taking a few minutes before speaking up once more, “You know… The house is so quiet without you guys… I’d rather deal with the noise than live in this huge and empty house.”

She reached out and pulled him into a gentle hug, her arms wrapping around him in an embrace. Renjun stayed seated, knees still pulled tightly to his chest while staring ahead at the wall. He didn’t move to hug her back as his body was still and quiet, but deep down, he did appreciate the effort his sister always exerted on him, “Sorry, Renj... I wish I could be here more for you.”

-

Another warm morning came as Renjun headed down to the kitchen, quite prepared for another school day. As he entered, he spotted Doyoung seated at the table. It instantly felt awkward since the atmosphere between them was always full of half-hearted conversations.

Doyoung looked up from his plate, "Dyan ka lang, may bibigay ako sa’yo.”

Renjun, slightly surprised but trying to keep his expression neutral, paused, "Ano ‘yon?"

Doyoung stood up and walked to his room, returning shortly with a large paper bag. He handed it over to Renjun with a nonchalant shrug, "It’s a jacket I saw. Might fit you. Nothing special."

Renjun took the bag, peeking inside to see a stylish, high-quality jacket, “...Okay," he said, accepting it with a nod. He wasn't particularly excited, but he appreciated the gesture.

He glanced at the clock, realizing he was running late, "I need to get going. I’m not having breakfast today. Pasabi kay ate na I’ve already left for school."

-

The school day passed by quite quickly. Renjun walked through the hallways wearing the new jacket his kuya had given him. It was a sleek, dark blue bomber jacket that fit perfectly and added a touch of style to his usual school attire. The jacket felt oddly comforting, even if it was a bit out of range from his usual look.

As the final bell rang, Jaemin approached Renjun, as he always did, carrying Renjun’s uniform blazer draped over his arm, a gesture that Renjun had grown very much used to– Jaemin's habit of carrying his coat had become a part of their daily routine.

Jaemin and Renjun chatted about their day as they walked towards the front gates of the school and it’s just mainly Jaemin teasing Renjun about his new look. If it was another person, Renjun would be so annoyed and just ignore them but since it is Jaemin… Renjun naturally found himself enjoying the company more than usual. As they neared the school gates, Renjun's eyes caught sight of the familiar ice cream cart parked outside.

"Jaemin," Renjun said, "May ice cream… I’ve been thinking about it all day."

Jaemin grinned and nodded happily, "Sige, tara."

They headed over to the cart, and after getting their ice cream, they settled on a nearby bench. The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm glow over their surroundings. They talked about various things, from their classes to upcoming events.

But all throughout the day Jaemin was stealing glances at Renjun more often than usual. There was something about his new look that made it impossible for Jaemin to look away for too long. He couldn’t help but admire how effortlessly Renjun pulled off the look, making him seem even more handsome and pretty at the same time.

Poging… maganda...

Jaemin licks on his ice cream, finding himself smiling without even realizing it.

The day had been filled with moments like that– Jaemin’s eyes drawn to Renjun as if there was something so different about him today.

__________
Days passed and everyone was busy with their own things.

The four who were chosen to participate in the quiz bee had dedicated those days to intensely studying all the possible questions that might come out.

Every lunch break, they would gather in the cafeteria after their quick meeting with their teacher, who’s the one that guides them on what particular topics to study for.

After school, their study sessions continued in the library. The four of them would sit at a large table, surrounded by books and notes. They worked together on practice questions, reviewed important topics, and strategized their approach for the quiz bee.

Despite the long hours and the pressure, Renjun felt more connected with them. He had always felt comfortable with Jaemin but even he, himself, is surprised that he could feel so… at ease with Chenle, and Jeno. They would always offer encouragement, and Renjun grew more comfortable and confident with each passing day– thanks to them.

The night before the quiz bee, they were all feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. They had put in the hard work and felt prepared, but… still, the pressure both from their teachers and classmates were there. The four of them met for a final review session at the library, where they went over any last-minute details and reassured each other.

Chenle and Jeno are always the ones to lighten the mood with a few jokes while Jaemin was very attentive and supportive to Renjun, always there to reassure him.

As they wrapped up their final study session, Jaemin noticed Renjun fidgeting with his fingertips under the table, so he gently placed a hand over his and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Kinakabahan ka ba?" he softly asked.

Renjun nodded, biting his bottom lip. He can’t even process the fact that Jaemin is holding his hands so gently because of his nerves, “Slight.”

One thing about Renjun is that he is already used to the attention he is getting. Academically.

He has always been an outstanding student but… This is his first time standing on stage in front of everyone in the school and he knows the level of expectation he’s carrying.

He is a Huang after all.

In everyone’s eyes, he needs to be perfect.

Jaemin flashes him a small smile, “We’ll be fine. Kaya natin ‘to.”

__________
And the day of the quiz bee arrived…

The air is filled with excitement from the teachers and the students. The school gym had been transformed, with banners and decorations hanging everywhere. There are a lot of students, teachers and even parents sitting on the bleachers as they watch the top-performing students do their things.

Renjun, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jeno stood at their table with their team name displayed behind them. Although the atmosphere felt intense, they still had to remain focused and keep calm.

As the competition began, the questions came quickly, it covered everything from history to science. With each round, the pressure just kept weighing down on them. Despite the challenges, they worked seamlessly together, they answered confidently, and kept their spot at the top of the scoreboard. Every correct answer was met with cheers from their supporters, adding energy and confidence to the four.

The final round arrived, and everyone could feel the excitement in the gymnasium. The announcer called for the group question, a high-stakes query that would determine the winner. The room fell into a hush as the question was read aloud. Renjun took a deep breath as he read the question silently, his mind racing through the information they had studied.

Renjun's hands trembled slightly as he wrote down their answer.

After a few anxious moments, the announcer returned to the stage and read out the answers from each team and when the announcer finally declared that Renjun's team had answered correctly, the room erupted into applause and cheers.

Jaemin, Chenle, and Jeno looked at Renjun with wide eyes, their faces breaking into smiles of triumph. Renjun's heart swelled with relief and joy as he realized they had won. The team's hard work and determination had paid off, and they were crowned champions.

As the announcer presented them with their trophy, the four of them stood together, their faces glowing with pride and genuine happiness. The cheering crowd, their supportive classmates, and the sense of accomplishment made the moment unforgettable but when Renjun glanced over at Jaemin, Chenle, and Jeno– the whole gym seemed to blur into the background. It wasn’t just because everyone seemed to be so happy with him but… it’s because of how Jaemin looks at the moment.

The sight of Jaemin's smile and how his eyes sparkled, made Renjun's heart flutter. Every cheer and congratulation from their friends and classmates sounded muffled and all Renjun could hear was his own heartbeat… beating faster and faster as he kept his focus on Jaemin.

The way Jaemin's face lit up, the genuine happiness radiating from him– it was mesmerizing.

He was brought back to reality when Chenle and Jaemin placed their arms over his shoulders on each side and was asked to pose for the camera. As they posed for photos and received congratulations, Renjun couldn't help but notice how close he was to Jaemin. He was aware of every little gesture Jaemin made, and the sound of Jaemin's laughter wasn’t just a natural sound coming from a human when they’re happy but it became like music to Renjun’s ears.

“Okay ka lang?” Jaemin asked, nudging Renjun lightly.

Renjun blinked, snapping out of his thoughts, “Yeah, just… I can’t believe we won.”

Jaemin chuckled, “Well, believe it. You did so good.”

As the celebration continued, Renjun found himself wanting to be closer to Jaemin, to share this victory and these feelings more deeply. The happiness he felt was tinged with something more, something he would soon come to recognize as romantic affection. For now though, Renjun simply savored the moment.

Even though they all wanted to celebrate together, they do have families to go home to. So after the school day, they all just head on their own ways. Renjun was on his way home and ever since, going home isn’t really exciting for him, he knew he would be coming home to an empty house… And that’s not something he was very excited about.

But now, the adrenaline from winning the quiz bee can still be felt within him. He could hardly believe that they had come out on top.

Much to his surprise, when the car pulled up to the side, he saw his parents’ cars parked outside as well. His eyes widened a bit in excitement– hoping he could share his achievement with them. His parents had always been proud of Renjun when it comes to his academic achievements so one can say that it is the main reason why Renjun tries hard with his studies all the time… For his parents to praise him sometimes.

Inside, he found his mother in the living room, deeply engrossed in a phone call. She was pacing back and forth, her conversation taking up all her attention. Renjun contemplated before approaching her. He looked down at the certificate in his hands, but his mother was too absorbed in her call to notice.

Renjun notices that she’s busy so he decides to leave the certificate on the table, as she had gestured for him to do. Renjun chews on his lower lip, going up the stairs to his room to change into his pajamas.

Don’t let that ruin your day, Renjun… Busy lang si mom… Titignan niya rin ‘yon mamaya and she’ll be proud of you.

After changing, he peeked out of his room and saw his mother glance briefly at the certificate before setting it down and leaving the house. Her attention was still fully on her phone, and she didn’t seem to notice Renjun’s efforts.

Oh…

Renjun felt a wave of sadness and disappointment wash over him. The excitement he felt when he won felt like it was washed over by the lack of acknowledgment from his mother. It was as though the triumph he had worked so hard for meant little to those he wanted most to impress. He stood there, peeking out from his bedroom, as his mother walked out the door, still lost in her conversation.

Why did I even get my hopes up…

Renjun sighed and retreated back to his room. The thrill of victory seemed like it lost its shine as it was replaced by a persisting ache of feeling overlooked. He knew he could celebrate his win in his own way, but it didn’t quite fill the emptiness left by his mother’s inattentiveness.

That night, Renjun just laid in bed, staring at the ceiling as he tried to ignore the nagging feeling of disappointment. Renjun felt too dejected to respond to Jaemin’s flood of messages congratulating him on their victory. All Renjun did was to simply turn off his phone and drift into sleep, hoping that tomorrow would bring a better mood.

The next morning, Renjun woke up feeling groggy as he headed downstairs for breakfast. He reached the dining area and surprisingly saw his mother already seated at the table, reading some documents.

Renjun quietly cleared his throat, took a deep breath and hesitantly approached her, trying to muster up the courage to bring up the topic he had been dreading, “Mom… Did you see the certificate I left on the coffee table? The one about the quiz bee?”

His mother glanced up briefly and replied, “Yes, I saw it,” But before Renjun could say anything further, she quickly changed the subject, “Oh, by the way, you need to start preparing for your college entrance exams. There are a lot of good universities you can consider, both locally and internationally. I’ve listed some options for you to look into.”

Ah… They don’t care about small achievements like this…

Renjun swallowed a lump on his throat, nodding. His mother’s abrupt shift from acknowledging his achievement to discussing college admissions left him feeling as though his victory was a mere stepping stone to what she considered more important matters.

He quietly accepted the list of universities she handed him. Renjun knew the importance of preparing for college, the lack of genuine acknowledgment for his recent success stung deeply.

He ate his breakfast in silence, trying to push away the sad thoughts coming to him at such an early time. Renjun’s sitting on a long table while his mother is on the other end, still reading through the documents and signing some.

That kind of setup had always been like that. His mother is there, in the same room as him, but it didn’t feel like it. He felt smaller, almost invisible, even.

“I’ll go to school,” Renjun muttered quietly, standing up and swinging his bag over his shoulders.

He knew the day ahead would be long, but facing it felt easier than sitting in this silent house, yearning for something as simple as recognition.

-

During lunch break, Renjun headed to the rooftop, as he usually did to enjoy some quiet time alone while eating his food. Today, however, Jaemin was trailing closely behind him with a big grin on his face.

“Renjun!” Jaemin called out, catching up to him. He was carrying a bag, clearly excited about something.

Renjun raised an eyebrow, “Bakit?”

Jaemin beamed and held up the bag, “Ginawan ka rin ni mama ng sandwich! Kinwento ko sa kanya ‘yung nanalo tayo sa quiz bee kahapon and she’s really excited about it. And she wanted to meet you din!” he blabbered as they continued to walk up the stairs and to the rooftop.

Renjun’s eyes softened at the mention of Jaemin’s mother. He felt a warm, comforting sensation at Jaemin’s words. It was touching to know that Jaemin’s mom cared enough to make such a gesture, especially when his own family had been so distant.

“...Thank you,” Renjun said.

Jaemin smiles, opening the door gently, standing on the side to let Renjun in first. The both of them then settled on their usual spot before Jaemin handed Renjun a sandwich. “Kain ka madami.”

Renjun took the sandwich and muttered a soft ‘thank you’, and as they ate, Jaemin chatted animatedly about his mom’s excitement and the little details of their celebration. Renjun just listened and as Jaemin continued to talk, Renjun felt a lot of appreciation for Jaemin.

The rooftop, which had always been his quiet escape, now felt even more special with Jaemin’s company.

-

After classes, Jaemin and Renjun decided to spend the rest of the day in the library. They were seated in the quiet corner of the library, surrounded by towering shelves of books and the soft hum of distant whispers from other students.

Jaemin felt drowsy after a long day and decided to take a quick nap– he honestly only accepted Renjun’s invitation to stay in the library because he wanted to be with him longer so since he’s sitting beside him at the moment, Jaemin thought it’s safe to nap. He leaned forward, resting his head on his arms that were folded on the table, his head turned to the side.

Renjun, meanwhile, was focused on his notebook. He was jotting down ideas for their mental health advocacy to present to the principal. The silence was comfortable, all the soft noises in the room actually helped Renjun to focus more.

After a while of writing quietly on his own, Renjun’s attention slowly drifted to Jaemin beside him. They were seated close, their arms lightly brushing against each other, he glanced over at Jaemin, his gaze softening as he took in the peaceful expression on Jaemin's face.

Jaemin’s features were delicate yet strong. His eyelashes, long and dark, cast tiny shadows on his cheeks. His lips were slightly parted as he breathed steadily. There was a softness to his face and gentleness that Renjun was drawn to. Jaemin's hair, tousled slightly, framed his face perfectly, making him look almost ethereal. He looked so serene, so effortlessly beautiful, and Renjun couldn’t help but admire him.

The longer Renjun looked, the more he realized just how much he was starting to like Jaemin—more than just as a friend. It was in the way Jaemin always seemed to know when Renjun needed company, how he would carry his blazer without being asked, and the small, thoughtful gestures that made Renjun’s days a little brighter.

Renjun felt his cheeks warm at the thought, a shy smile tugging at his lips. He turned his gaze back to his notebook, trying to focus on his writing. But his mind kept wandering back to Jaemin, and the growing feelings that were starting to take root in his heart. He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but he was beginning to realize that his feelings for Jaemin were more than just friendship.

He glanced at Jaemin once more then his attention turned to the latter’s hand, which was resting on the table. Renjun smiled to himself as he gently picked up Jaemin’s hand, careful not to wake him, and began to lightly trace letters on his skin with his pen.

He wrote “Jaemin” in small letters which made him smile wider, he then added a small heart next to Jaemin's name, followed by a tiny smiley face. It was a simple, silly gesture, but it made Renjun’s heart feel light.

After finishing his doodle, Renjun slowly put his head down on the table, turning to face Jaemin. He watched him for a few moments until his own eyelids grew heavy, deciding to rest for just a moment beside Jaemin.

Minutes passed quietly, Jaemin stirred, slowly waking from his nap. He blinked his eyes open, feeling disoriented for a second before remembering where he was. As his vision cleared, he saw Renjun lying across from him, asleep with his head resting on his arms.

Jaemin couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Renjun looked so peaceful, his face relaxed and serene. His heart warmed at the thought of Renjun feeling comfortable enough to fall asleep next to him.

As Jaemin slowly sat up, he noticed the ink on his hand. He turned his palm over and saw his name, a heart, and a smiley face drawn there. A soft chuckle escaped his lips, his smile growing wider. The doodles were endearing, and it was clear that Renjun had done it while he was asleep.

Cute.

Sinasadya mo ba ‘to para lalo kitang magustuhan?

Jaemin's gaze returned to Renjun, the sight of him resting so close and so peacefully, made Jaemin feel so so calm. He reached out gently, brushing a stray strand of hair away from Renjun’s face.

He settled back into his chair, deciding to let Renjun sleep a little longer. He glanced at the doodles on his hand again with a smile still plastered on his face.

It was a small and silly gesture from Renjun, but it meant the world to him.

As Jaemin continued to watch Renjun sleep, he knew deep inside that the peaceful expression on Renjun's face was something Jaemin wanted to capture, to remember this moment between them. He carefully reached for his phone, unlocking it with a gentle swipe and then quietly snapped a picture of Renjun sleeping.

Jaemin lowered his phone, tucking it away quietly. He noticed a few strands of Renjun's hair had fallen onto his forehead again, sticking to his skin. He reached out once more and carefully brushed the strands away. He gently tucked them behind Renjun’s ear with a touch so light as he didn’t want to wake him.

As he placed Renjun's hair back into place, Jaemin's fingers lingered for just a moment longer than necessary, his thumb brushing lightly against Renjun's cheek. His heart was beating a little faster and louder.

He’s been feeling that for quite a while now and especially when he’s with Renjun.

Normal pa ba ‘to…

Parang magkakasakit na yata ako.

Jaemin pulled his hand back and just let it rest on the table next to Renjun's hand. He couldn’t help but smile as he noticed the faint birthmark on Renjun’s hand. He softly chuckled and reached for his pen. His other hand then slowly cups Renjun’s smaller hand in his, lifting it a bit as he starts to scribble on the birthmark– also drawing a tiny heart on it.

He then set the pen down but he never let go of his hand. He gently intertwined their fingers, holding Renjun’s hand in his own.

Ang lambot ng kamay niya…

Jaemin leaned back, still holding Renjun’s hand.

And he kept their hands intertwined all while Renjun’s sleeping.

__________
Do you ever get incredibly happy to the point that you know something bad will happen after a few days? Or you’ll get news that will drastically change your life forever?

That’s what Renjun always feels whenever his heart gets too… contented.

Babawiin din ‘to. is what he thinks after feeling satisfied with something that had happened.

After spending days with Jaemin. Feeling like a normal 17-year old kid. He knew something was up.

He knows that the universe will do anything just to bring him back to his default self– a boy who’s just existing.

Jaemin is and will always be there for him but Renjun can’t bring himself to tap his name on his phone and call him. Cry to him. Tell him he needs him.

I can’t do that… He might be tired. He’s got his own problems… I don’t want to burden him even more.

I’ve always resolved this on my own… So why ask for him now?

Renjun lets out a heavy and shaky breath as he places both his hands under the pouring water from the faucet and gently splashes it onto his face, thinking that maybe cooling his face would keep his tears from falling.

It had been a very long and tiring day and all Renjun wanted was to rest.

But all hell broke loose the moment he stepped into their house.

His parents were arguing again but this time… They were arguing about him.

All he ever wanted from his parents was their attention but… not this kind.

Whenever they argue about him, it was always ”’Yang anak mo-” “Your son should have-” “If you chose this for him, he would have-”

Of course… Hindi nila ako anak kapag hindi ko nasusunod gusto nila.

That always has been an issue.

Renjun chose to continue his studies for senior high school in the Philippines rather than in the States. Both his parents agreed but were somewhat hesitant at first but whenever they hear something good happening to anyone else’s sons, they would be, kind of… ashamed?

Ashamed.

Renjun scoffed, biting his lower lip, trying so hard not to break down. He grips the edge of the sink until his knuckles turn white. The small bathroom suddenly felt too quiet. It felt like the walls were starting to close in on him.

It was not the first time he had heard of this kind of argument but it hurt all the same– the constant comparisons, the silent disappointment, and the way they always seemed ashamed when it came to him.

Renjun sucked in a deep breath and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

Then, suddenly, his phone buzzed on the counter, which made him jolt back from his spiraling thoughts. He grabs his phone and looks at it: Jaemin – Classmate.

Jaemin’s calling.

Renjun paused. He honestly didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. Not when he was on the verge of breaking down.

But this is Jaemin.

Renjun’s safe place.

It’s Jaemin.

With shaky hands, he taps on his phone and answers, “Hello?” Renjun’s voice came out soft and was obviously trying hard to keep his tone steady.

“Renjun?” Jaemin’s voice was gentle, as always, but he can already sense something was wrong, “...Okay ka lang?”

Renjun fluttered his eyes closed– for someone who was feeling so fragile at the moment, having someone ask that simple question made him feel like someone genuinely cared for him and for what he felt. Renjun swallowed hard, pressing the phone closer to his ear as if Jaemin's voice alone could pull him out of the heavy cloud surrounding him.

“Renjun?”

Renjun nodded, even though he’s aware that he can’t see him, “I’m okay… Medyo… Pagod lang.”

And then… There was silence.

“...Jaemin?”

“Renjun…” Jaemin called him once again, “You’re not okay, are you?”

Renjun froze, gripping the phone tighter. He tried to steady his breathing, blinking rapidly to stop the tears from falling. He didn’t want to answer.

Renjun could hear Jaemin taking a deep breath, “Gusto mo ice cream? Bilhan kita, hm? O hanap tayo ng naglalako? Let’s walk around, puntahan kita-”

“No-” Renjun quickly cuts him off, “I mean… No, malayo bahay ko.”

Jaemin softly chuckles, “I like walking anyway.”

“...Not today, Jaemin…” Renjun breathed out, lowering his head as he tightly gripped his phone, “I’m sorry, I’m just not-”

“I understand,” Jaemin interrupted gently, “You don’t have to say sorry for that, okay? We have all the weekdays and weekends in the world para bumili ng sorbetes,” he chuckled right after, hoping to lighten up the mood, he then added, suddenly with a serious tone, “...But hearing you right now… Makes me want to see you even more.”

Renjun closed his eyes, a lump forming in his throat. The thought of seeing Jaemin brought him comfort, a small sense of relief in the midst of everything.

He also wanted Jaemin to be there, to pull him out of the storm in his head, even just for a moment.

But he can’t right now… Stepping out of his room, knowing his parents were just outside, felt like it was something impossible.

“Just… Can you stay on the phone with me-?” Renjun whispered.

“Oo naman-”

“-Until… I fall asleep,” Renjun shyly requested, clearing his throat, as he wiped his eyes with his other hand once more, stepping out of the bathroom.

“Of course, Renjun… I’ll be here.”

Without hesitation, Jaemin launched into a story– one of his ridiculous, light-hearted tales from school or something random he’d seen on the internet that day. He didn’t press Renjun to talk, didn’t ask for explanations or dwell on the sadness he could hear in Renjun’s voice. He just kept going, story after story, until Renjun could feel his mind slowly being pulled away from the painful thoughts that had been consuming him.

“Jaemin?” Renjun cuts his story short. He then places his phone on his chest as he stares at the ceiling.

“Hm?”

“Bakit ka lumipat ng school?” He asked softly.

“Ah…” Jaemin chuckles awkwardly, humming after, “Lumipat kasi kami ng bahay at sakto, malapit sa school niyo. Don din napili ko kasi alam kong andon sila Jeno.”

“Why did you transfer though? I mean, it is our last year naman na, gagraduate na din tayo in a few months.”

Jaemin hums once more, as if thinking deeply of what to answer, “Wala eh, sobrang layo kasi ng school ko, mahirap din kung hatid sundo ako nila mama… Well, willing naman sila pero ayoko naman sila mapagod,” he chuckled, “Bakit mo natanong?”

Renjun shakes his head, “Was just curious.”

Then Jaemin continued to ramble on basically about anything and Renjun felt himself gradually relaxing. As he continued to listen to Jaemin’s voice on the other end of the line, Renjun just stared at the screen of his phone, where Jaemin's name was displayed.

The sound of Jaemin's laughter as he told some story about Chenle and Jeno’s latest antics filled Renjun’s ears, and without even realizing it, a small smile crept onto his face. He traced the letters of Jaemin’s name with his eyes and he felt strange– like how something as simple as seeing Jaemin’s name could make him feel so at ease, like everything was going to be okay.

His thumb absentmindedly brushed the edge of the screen, but his focus remained on Jaemin’s voice. Even though they weren't physically together, having Jaemin talk to him like this made the loneliness less suffocating. Every word Jaemin spoke, every laugh, pulled Renjun a little further away from the heaviness of his thoughts and pulled him closer to Jaemin.

That night, Renjun had probably gotten the warmest and most comforting sleep he had ever experienced. It wasn’t because the bed was softer or the night quieter– it was because of Jaemin.

Just knowing Jaemin was there, talking to him, caring for him even from a distance, gave Renjun peace he hadn’t felt in a long time.

For once, he felt safe.

__________
I like him…

Not just as a friend.

I like him.

Gusto ko siya.

I want to be with him.

I want to be beside him all the time.

I want to hear his voice.

I want to feel his warmth.

Whenever I’m with him, I don’t want the day to end.

I just want to be with him…

That’s not what friends are supposed to feel, right?

Renjun was in deep thought, as he sat in front, watching Jaemin present with another classmate of theirs.

It’s their last subject and Renjun couldn’t help but think too deeply about the day– Jaemin was extra… clingy(?). Renjun instantly noticed it though, the change in Jaemin’s mood towards him, though he knew Jaemin had always been nosy, but he was just extra caring to him today.

He offered food, offered to carry Renjun’s bag and his blazer when they had to go out briefly a while ago during their break, and he even was a little touchy too. Jaemin would grab his hand, and caress it ever-so gently, he would swing his arm over Renjun’s shoulder and pull him close while they walked.

Everything felt different, in a good way.

Renjun knew he just needed a few more days to finally realize what he’s feeling to Jaemin and maybe… he’s right.

He likes him.

He likes… another boy.

And that’s fine.

He likes this feeling.

Feeling of liking someone.

But… I need to confirm this to him.

How though?

Do I just ask him directly?

Like… “Hey… I like you… Is this right?”

No, no. That shouldn’t be it.

Hays… I never liked anyone like this before.

How does this even work?

Do I just let it go?

But what if-

Renjun’s thoughts were quickly cut off when he heard his name being called loudly, “Si Renjun po!”

Huh…? Renjun furrowed his eyebrows together, looking up, his eyes immediately locking into Jaemin’s eyes, who had a wide smile on his face.

“Renjun? Payag ka ba?” Renjun hears their history teacher ask from the very back of the classroom.

Renjun tilts his head to the side and when Jaemin notices his confused expression, Jaemin leans down, “Escort daw sa grad ball.”

Renjun’s eyes widened, shaking his head quickly, “No- Ayoko po,” he said, clearing his throat, “Si Jaemin na lang po… Siya naman po ‘yung bago dito.”

As soon as Renjun said that, a wave of excited whispers filled the room, and a few girls let out quiet squeals of excitement. Several hands shot up as the girls began volunteering themselves to be the muse.

When Renjun heard the squeals, he couldn’t help slightly scoff, he quickly looked down at his desk, picking on his fingertips, biting the inside of his cheek as he tried to push that certain feeling down.

After class, Renjun and Jaemin walked together toward the school gates, as always. They had been walking in silence for a few minutes when Renjun finally broke the silence, "Why didn’t you turn down the offer to be the escort?" Renjun asked, glancing at Jaemin from the corner of his eye.

Jaemin turned to him, a curious smile forming, "Ikaw nag suggest ah?" he said, "How could I refuse that?"

Renjun kept his gaze straight ahead and Jaemin noticed the subtle frown on Renjun’s face and couldn’t resist teasing him.

"Wait..." Jaemin said, his tone lighter, "Nag seselos ka ba?"

Renjun’s immediate response was to roll his eyes, "Of course not!" He huffs, taking his uniform coat from Jaemin and quickens his pace slightly, clearly trying to distance himself from the teasing.

Jaemin laughed softly, easily matching Renjun’s steps, "Talaga? Sure ka?" he asked, the playful lilt in his voice lingering.

Renjun, now at the gates, gave a brief wave without turning back, “Bye. I’ll see you tomorrow," he said curtly with deliberate words as he walked away.

Jaemin chuckled softly to himself, watching Renjun’s retreating figure. Even from a distance, he could sense Renjun jealousy, and it only made Jaemin’s grin widen.

As Renjun slid into the backseat of the car and immediately, his phone dings and so he took it out and sees Jaemin’s message.

From: Jaemin – Classmate: So... are you sure you're not jealous? [wink emoji]

Renjun rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips. He started typing out a response, but before he could send anything, another message popped up.

From: Jaemin – Classmate: pwede ko naman sabihin kay maam. you can take my place as the escort, no problem!!

Renjun’s eyes widened and hastily typed back:

Renjun: Ayoko, Jaemin.

A few seconds later, his phone buzzed again.

Jaemin – Classmate: ohh…
Gusto mo tayo na lang partners? 👀

Renjun stared at the message for longer than he should have, his heart fluttered at the idea, and despite his best efforts to push it away, he felt his face grow hot, a deep blush spreading across his cheeks. After a pause, he finally responded:

Renjun: Big NO.

He stared at his phone for a few seconds but put it on silent and shoved it into his pocket, trying to hide his reddened face but covering his mouth as if he was going to cough as he still couldn't stop himself from smiling at the thought.

__________
For the past few days, Renjun couldn’t help but notice how much time Jaemin was spending with the class muse. It was understandable, given that the graduation ball was only a few months away. Still, the fact that Jaemin was constantly busy with preparations– whether it was practicing for their dance or coordinating outfits– irked Renjun more than he would care to admit.

This is my fault, Renjun thought bitterly as he watched Jaemin laughing with their classmates from across the courtyard. I shouldn’t have offered him for the position.

Renjun had already finished his duties as the class president so he had nothing much to do. He sat on a bench outside, arms crossed over his chest, one leg casually draped over the other, as he silently observed the scene before him.

Renjun's eyes naturally followed Jaemin’s every move. He watched as Jaemin laughed, joked around, and helped coordinate with the others.

How typical, Renjun thought, his lips pulling into a thin line. Of course, he's over there being all charming.

The more time Jaemin spent away, the more Renjun regretted suggesting him for the escort position.

Not after a few moments, Jaemin finally have the time to rest, so he immediately went to where Renjun was. He sat beside him, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, as he rested both his arms on his thighs. Renjun, on the other hand, kept his arms crossed over his chest as he gave him a sideways glance, “So... how was your date?” he asked with a perfectly straight face, though his tone was laced with sarcasm.

Jaemin didn’t miss a beat and grinned, clearly enjoying Renjun’s obvious jealousy, “Oh, it was wonderful,” he teased, dramatically placing a hand over his heart, “We practiced our dance moves and talked about kung ano bagay na damit sa’amin sa ball.”

Renjun rolled his eyes, “Glad you’re having a fantastic time,” he muttered, “Must be nice, huh?”

Jaemin chuckled and leaned in a little closer, nudging Renjun’s shoulder, “Nag seselos ka nga, huh?”

“Me? Jealous?” Renjun scoffed, pretending to be completely unfazed, “I’m just curious about how you’ve been spending all your time with her. That’s all.”

“Uh-huh,” Jaemin responded with a knowing smirk, “We spend more time together naman, ah? Do you just want me all to yourself?” He waggled his eyebrows playfully.

Renjun rolled his eyes again, though he felt warmth creeping up to his face and ears, “Please. You’ve got your duties now. Can’t be seen hanging around with just anyone.”

Jaemin laughed, clearly enjoying every second of this, “I’ll make it up to you, promise. Ayoko naman mag selos ka masyado.”

“I’m not jealous nga eh,” Renjun said, his frown getting even deeper.

“Sure, sure,” Jaemin said with a shrug, “But just so you know, no one’s replacing you.”

Renjun didn’t respond immediately, choosing to look straight ahead, but inside, his heart fluttered.

Later that day, since Renjun and Jaemin hadn’t been able to spend much time together during the day, Jaemin managed to convince Renjun to walk home with him. Renjun wasn’t entirely sure why he agreed– maybe, he was charmed or something… But something about Jaemin’s enthusiasm made it hard to say no.

As they reached the school gates, Renjun approached his driver, who had been waiting for him inside.

Renjun goes to the driver’s side, gently knocking on the window and when the driver rolls it down, Renjun casually says, “I’ll be walking home today.”

His driver seemed surprised but he tried to mask it with a small smile, “Walking? With who?”

Renjun gestured to Jaemin, standing beside him with a charming smile. The driver glanced over at Jaemin, immediately recognizing him, the driver nodded, “Basta kaya mo na umuwi…”

“Yeah…” Renjun assured him, “He lives nearby din so we’ll be alright.”

He gave Jaemin a final glance, smiling as well and nodded, driving off.

With that settled, Jaemin and Renjun began to walk. It was quiet at first, the only sounds they could hear were the early evening breeze, the ruffling of their clothes, and the tapping of their shoes as they continued to walk.

Because of the awkward silence, Renjun couldn’t help but feel slightly curious, especially after Jaemin had mentioned before that he lived close to the school. He finally decided to ask, “So, where exactly do you live?” Renjun asked.

Jaemin chuckled, “Oh, not far. Madadaan nga natin eh.”

Renjun’s eyebrows raised slightly, “Really? I didn’t think you lived that close.”

Jaemin nodded with a grin, “Ayon oh malapit na tayo,” He gestured toward a quiet street they were approaching.

They walked a little further, and Jaemin pointed to a modest, two-story house nestled between a few trees. It looked cozy, with lights glowing warmly through the windows.

“That’s my place,” Jaemin said.

Renjun glanced at the house, taking it in. It wasn’t anything grand or flashy, but it had a warmth to it that made it feel... homey compared to their grand one, “Must feel nice,” Renjun softly said.

Jaemin takes a deep breath, briefly looking at Renjun before looking ahead, “Yeah, it's nothing special, but it's home.”

Renjun only nodded in response. He wouldn’t have guessed that Jaemin lived so close, but it had always been obvious that he lives in a place that felt so inviting and seeing this part of it made Renjun feel... a little closer to him.

“Sleep over tayo minsan!” Jaemin exclaimed, evidently becoming more energized.

Renjun smiled, “We’ll see.”

As they walked toward Renjun’s house, they passed by a small park, the playground swings swaying gently in the breeze. Without warning, Jaemin walked off the path, heading straight toward the park.

Renjun blinked, caught off guard, “Jaemin– wait, hey, saan ka pupunta?” Renjun called after him, but Jaemin just waved him over with a grin.

Renjun sighed but followed, not really having much of a choice. When he finally caught up to Jaemin, he found him standing near the playground, hands in his pockets, looking around awkwardly.

"It’s nice to have a playground or park nearby, don’t you think?" Jaemin asked with a wide smile.

Renjun glanced around briefly before shrugging, “I guess… I don’t really go out much.”

“Really? Hindi ka lumalabas dito?”

Renjun shook his head, “Not really my thing.”

Jaemin nodded and as his eyes landed on Renjun, who was absentmindedly looking around, Jaemin felt like something inside him shifted.

Renjun wasn’t doing anything special, he’s just standing there, looking everywhere, mindlessly playing with the pebbles using the tips of his shoes. The cold breeze softly caresses their skins, making Renjun’s hair slightly rustle with the wind. He looked uninterested and the way he seemed so unaware of the effect he had on Jaemin— everything felt overwhelming.

Without thinking, Jaemin let out a soft chuckle as he snapped himself out of his thoughts, “Help me practice.”

Renjun blinked in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing, “Practice what?”

“‘Yung sayaw natin,” Jaemin then added, “You know, for the graduation ball.”

Renjun’s eyes widened slightly and immediately felt heat rush to his cheeks, “W-wait– what? Here? Right now?”

Jaemin just laughed at his reaction, clearly amused, “Why not? No one’s around to see anyway.”

Renjun quickly looked around, suddenly feeling self-conscious. The park was quiet, with only the distant sound of cars passing by and the occasional buzzes from crickets. Still, the thought of practicing a dance– with Jaemin, of all people– out in the open made him feel incredibly shy.

“I-i don’t know about that. Hindi naman ako marunong sumayaw, Jaemin,” Renjun stammered, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He could already feel his heart beating faster at the thought.

Jaemin stepped closer, “Come on, I’ll guide you, tsaka we need to practice naman din talaga, diba?”

Renjun hesitated, glancing away. He really didn’t want to, but Jaemin looks so hopeful… So he finally sighed, as if he was giving in, “Fine...” he said quietly, though the idea of dancing with Jaemin made him more nervous than he wanted to admit.

Jaemin’s smile brightened immediately, “Amin na bag mo, lapag ko muna don sa upuan,” he said as he took Renjun’s bag and set their bags aside while Renjun just stood there awkwardly, trying not to look directly at Jaemin.

Jaemin walked back to Renjun with a smile, and without missing a beat, he took Renjun’s hands and gently placed them on his shoulders, “Here,” he said softly.

Renjun’s heart was pounding so hard he thought Jaemin could probably hear it. His gaze was fixed on the ground, too shy to make eye contact, “Wouldn’t it be better… If you’re practicing with our classmate instead? Kayo naman ‘yung main na sasayaw sa ball,” he whispered, barely audible.

Jaemin smiled warmly at him, moving slowly, making sure Renjun could follow his lead. He guided Renjun’s hands, making sure he was comfortable before placing his own hands lightly on Renjun’s waist, “I told you, ikaw nga gusto ko kapartner.”

Renjun cleared his throat, keeping his eyes locked onto Jaemin’s covered chest– That very first button that was loose seemed like the most interesting thing in the world right now, Renjun wasn’t used to this, being so close to Jaemin, and every few seconds, he would accidentally step on Jaemin’s shoes, “Sorry,” he muttered under his breath, feeling quite embarrassed.

But Jaemin didn’t care.

Every time Renjun’s foot landed on his, Jaemin just smiled, unbothered. He wasn’t paying attention to the mistakes; all he could focus on was Renjun, right in front of him. The shy way Renjun avoided his eyes, the nervousness in his movements– it only made Jaemin’s heart long for Renjun’s even more.

“It’s fine,” Jaemin said gently, his eyes never leaving Renjun’s face, “You’re doing great.”

Renjun still couldn’t bring himself to meet Jaemin’s gaze, too embarrassed to look up. His face was flushed, and his heart was racing, but he didn’t pull away. Despite his nerves, he kept going, letting Jaemin guide him through the slow, simple movements.

It’s almost as if Renjun is just letting Jaemin control everything– he has no idea how to dance, let alone know the steps of the dance he only saw a distance away.

So why on earth am I doing this?

…

And why am I enjoying this?!

Jaemin, meanwhile, was smiling the entire time, his eyes full of warmth and fondness. He didn’t care about the awkwardness.

To him, this moment was perfect.

He had Renjun, the most important person in the world to him, right in front of him, so close, and that was all that mattered.

They ”danced” (more like swaying and just enjoying each other’s company) for a few minutes and Jaemin swore they would’ve done it longer only if it wasn’t for the… rain.

The first drops of rain began to fall, it was light but steady drops. Jaemin glanced up at the sky, feeling the gentle drizzle land on his skin. He looks down at Renjun who was looking up as well, “Uwi na kita, baka magkasakit pa tayo sa ulan na ‘to.”

Renjun nodded, they moved quickly and now they’re making their way back to Renjun’s house. Once they finally reached his home, Jaemin’s steps slowed. He came to a stop at the gate, eyes slightly widening in surprise as he took in the massive structure before him.

It wasn’t just big or massive– it was enormous.

He knew the Huangs are a well-off family but seeing that in person felt different. This wasn’t just wealth; it was something far more opulent than Jaemin had imagined.

“Do you have an umbrella?” Renjun’s soft voice snapped Jaemin back to reality, who cleared his throat and flashed him a gentle smile.

“Wala,” Jaemin answered quickly, even though he always brings his umbrella with him.

Renjun quickly goes through his bag and takes out the folded umbrella, handing it to Jaemin, “Just give it back tomorrow… You better get home na, baka lumakas pa ‘yung ulan,” he said.

For a few seconds, Jaemin just stared at the umbrella being handed to him, he then looked up at Renjun and chuckled before taking the umbrella from him, “...Do you wanna walk to school tomorrow?”

“...Huh?”

“Lakad tayo pa-school, puntahan kita,” Jaemin said.

“Jaemin, out of the way naman ‘tong bahay namin… Your house is nearer-”

Jaemin gently interrupts Renjun’s sentence, “Edi… Daan ka sa bahay muna para sabay tayo pasok.”

Renjun lets out a sigh, feeling the drizzle start to turn into a steady rain. Knowing Jaemin, he had to make a decision already since Jaemin is such a persistent person, “I’ll message you… Umuwi ka na, Jaemin, lalakas na ulan.”

Jaemin nodded and opened the umbrella before hovering it over him, “Aasahan ko ‘yang message mo ah.”

Renjun nodded as well and watched Jaemin start to walk away backward, facing Renjun the entire time, making Renjun chuckle slightly, “You’re going to trip if you keep walking like that.”

“Worth the risk,” Jaemin shrugged. He then stopped in his tracks and looked at Renjun, “Goodnight,” he said, his voice carrying a soft sincerity.

Renjun was caught off guard by the simple gesture. It was the first time someone had ever told him "goodnight" like that. His heart fluttered, and he felt a small flush rise to his cheeks. He didn’t know what to say at first but then he managed a shy smile.

“...Goodnight, Jaemin.”

-

The last time Renjun felt genuinely excited in the morning was years ago, when he was 6 or 7 years old(?), he can’t really remember. But he knew that he was excited about that morning because they were going to Manila Ocean Park, he was with his parents and siblings– it was a perfect day.

Now, he’s feeling that exact same excitement bubbling inside him, and even though he tried to keep it hidden from everyone in the house, the glow on his face was undeniable.

These past few days, Renjun looked a lot healthier, more relaxed and their helpers in the house would even catch him smiling on his phone.

Renjun quickly finished his breakfast before making his way out of the door, immediately seeing the car and his driver waiting for him. He quickly walked over to him and said, “I’ll walk to school today.”

“Pero-”

“With… Jaemin, my classmate. I walked with him last night so…” Renjun tried to reason out but talking about something so personal when he got used to being so reserved, made him feel a little embarrassed.

The driver slowly nodded his head, although he knew that Jaemin was a good guy, he was still worried about Renjun since it was his first time walking to school today. He’s proud of Renjun for finally getting a friend so he didn’t question it further.

As Renjun turned back to the gate, there he was– Jaemin, standing just outside with his hands casually tucked into his pockets, waiting. A smile tugged at Renjun’s lips as he approached the gate.

"Good morning," Jaemin called out, his face lighting up as soon as he saw Renjun.

"Morning," Renjun replied, his voice quieter but full of the same warmth. He stepped out of the gate, and they began walking side by side down the street.

They walked in silence for a while, but it was the kind of silence that felt comfortable… and familiar. Renjun stole a quick glance at Jaemin, who was smiling softly to himself, as though he knew exactly how Renjun was feeling.

Throughout the day, Renjun and Jaemin were working closely, as usual. As president and vice president of their class, they often spend time together, they manage class projects, and coordinate with their teachers.

Today wasn’t any different– they spent most of the morning preparing for an upcoming event, whispering as they discussed in detail what exactly they should do. Doing all those while still helping each other in studying for their subjects. They are the top-performing students in, basically, the whole batch.

By now, Renjun already knows that Jaemin had always been the more easygoing one and he would even throw a teasing remark every now and then which causes Renjun to roll his eyes or even stifle a laugh.

It was a routine now. Being together makes even the busiest of days feel lighter.

Even Renjun, himself, couldn’t help but think about how much had changed since Jaemin entered his life.

Before, Renjun was used to keeping to himself. He’d rather be alone than be with other people who don’t even treat him equally just because of his family. Honestly, he didn’t mind it– he had always been comfortable in his own company.

But then Jaemin happened.

Over the past few months, Jaemin had slowly but surely pulled Renjun out of his shell. Renjun couldn’t pinpoint when it started. He just found himself walking around the campus with Jaemin, no longer feeling invisible or out of place.

It was subtle at first– Jaemin would ask Renjun to join him on a walk, or insist they grab lunch together. Renjun, of course, hesitated at first but he would still follow him, not fully understanding why he felt so comfortable doing something he once dreaded.

Now, the canteen wasn’t a place to be avoided anymore.

Renjun would sit with Jaemin, most of the time enjoying the simple comfort of having someone there. It’s good. It felt good.

Once they’ve already finished their tasks, it was already the end of the day for them and as the both of them began to pack their things, Jaemin spoke up, “Uuwi ka na ba?”

Renjun briefly looks up at Jaemin from packing his things, zipping his bag up and throws it over his shoulder, “Yeah…? We finished and passed everything anyway.”

Jaemin also did the same as he slung his bag over his shoulder, “May practice pa kami…”

“...I know,” Renjun furrows his brows together as he starts to walk out of the classroom, with Jaemin following closely behind.

“Uhm,” Jaemin slightly coughs as if he’s clearing his throat, “Sabay tayo uwi.”

“But you said may practice ka pa,” Renjun said.

“Can you wait for me?”

Renjun blinked, a slight frown forming on his face.

He didn’t want to wait.

Not because he didn’t have the patience, but because watching Jaemin practice with their classmate, being all close and touchy with her, made something in his chest twist.

But then again, he had asked his driver not to pick him up today. He was stuck at school either way if Jaemin wasn’t going to walk with him.

Renjun sighed, "I guess I don’t have a choice," he muttered.

Jaemin’s face lit up at Renjun’s answer, "It won’t take long, promise. Then we can walk home together, like usual."

Renjun nodded, offering a small smile.

That was the only reason he was okay with staying. He liked walking home with Jaemin. It’s the only thing he looked forward to at the end of the day.

But now, that meant sitting on the bleachers and watching Jaemin practice, while his classmate stood beside him, laughing and holding onto his arm as they went through the dance. Renjun crossed his arms and leaned back, trying to keep his expression neutral as he watched.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like the girl. She was nice, sweet even.

But seeing Jaemin so close to her with his hands guiding her movements and his soft smile directed at her– it felt strange. A part of Renjun wanted to look away and focus on anything else yet, at the same time, he found himself unable to tear his eyes away.

He knew better than to get jealous.

As Jaemin and the muse wrapped up their practice, a few of their classmates who had stayed in the gym started teasing them.

“Bagay kayo, Jaem!” one of their friends called out.

Then another chimed in, “‘Wag ka masyado kiligin, Jaemmm!”

The muse laughed, brushing off the comments, but Jaemin just chuckled, clearly used to the teasing. He shot back a playful wink at his classmates, “Yeah, yeah, keep dreaming.”

Renjun swore he felt his eye twitch as he watched the scene unfold with his eyebrow raised and lips pursed.

He definitely had no reason to be jealous, he kept reminding himself of that.

Jaemin was just doing what he had to for the ball, and the muse was only his partner for the dance. That was it. But sometimes the teasing… Would get under his skin.

When Jaemin finally jogged over to Renjun, their classmates’ laughter still echoed throughout the whole gymnasium, "Matagal ba?" Jaemin asked with a smile still on his face.

Renjun shrugged, standing up and grabbing his bag, “Hindi naman.”

As they started heading for the exit, a few more classmates called after him, still full of teasing remarks. Jaemin just waved them off, shaking his head with a grin on his face.

Renjun, on the other hand, stayed quiet as they made their way out of the gym. Jaemin glanced over at him and noticed his deep frown but he shrugged it off, knowing Renjun frowns quite a lot.

But when they walked out of the front gates, Jaemin couldn’t help but glance at Renjun once more, noticing how quiet he was. Normally, even if Renjun wasn’t saying much, there was always an easygoing energy between them. But today, something felt off.

Jaemin frowned slightly before nudging Renjun’s shoulder, “Okay ka lang?”

Renjun just nodded.

“Kain muna tayo?” Jaemin suggested.

Renjun just shook his head, “Not really hungry,” he muttered softly.

Jaemin furrowed his brow, but he didn’t push the matter further. If Renjun didn’t want to eat, there wasn’t much else he could suggest. So, they continued their walk in silence while Jaemin threw occasional glances Renjun’s way just to check on him.

But the silence made Jaemin’s mind start to race.

May nagawa ba ako?

May nasabi ba ako??

Then it hit him.

No way.

…No, I don’t think so.

Nag seselos talaga siya?

Jaemin glanced sideways at Renjun, who was still walking with his eyes cast down, completely immersed in his own world.

After a few more minutes of walking, Jaemin and Renjun stood at the front gate of Renjun's house. Renjun had just unlocked the front gate and was about to step inside when Jaemin stopped him.

“Ay Renjun,” Jaemin said softly, reaching out to take the umbrella that Renjun had lent him, “Nakakalimutan kong balik sa’yo ‘to.”

Jaemin had always been observant ever since he met Renjun, to Renjun only, so he notices even the slightest shift in Renjun's mood, like now. And so, he leaned in slightly, with a voice softer than usual, “Naka simangot ka naman magdamag…” Jaemin said, eyes searching Renjun’s face, "Is there something wrong?"

Renjun started to feel the familiar knot tighten in his chest. He didn’t want to admit it, but he nodded slightly, his eyes dropping to the ground as he avoided Jaemin’s gaze.

I knew it…

I was going to tease him but the look on his face…

Jaemin’s smile slowly faded from his face as he sighed. He gathered his courage and took a step closer, standing just inches from Renjun now, "Renjun," he began.

Renjun finally looked up, his eyes meeting Jaemin’s. There was something in Jaemin’s gaze– something deep that made Renjun’s heart race.

Jaemin smiled softly, almost like he could hear Renjun's quickening heartbeat, "Tell me what’s wrong…"

Renjun slightly cleared his throat, he was hesitant– embarrassed even as he didn’t want to seem irrational or childish but… it’s just… Jaemin made him like this, “It’s- I don’t know… It’s just,” he tumbles on his own words, his brows furrowing together in a slight frown, “...It just feels weird…”

Jaemin kept his eyes on him, staying silent as he waited for Renjun to gather himself.

“...Just…Seeing you,” he paused, breathed, then added, “Being so close with someone else.”

Nag seselos nga siya…

Jaemin couldn’t help but laugh softly, “Nag seselos ka nga.”

Renjun’s whole face flushed, eyes widening slightly, “No, hindi ako-”

Jaemin chuckled and nodded, “You don’t have to lie about it.”

Renjun glanced up at him, badly wanting to run away and just not listen to what Jaemin had to say but for some reason, it’s like his feet are stuck on the ground. Renjun stayed silent, breaking eye contact with Jaemin as he looked down on the ground.

“Renjun,” Jaemin trails his words softly, “‘Yung pang-aasar nila sa’akin, wala ‘yon. It’s just for the dance, that’s all.”

Renjun stayed quiet, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“There’s no one else who I care about the way I do with you,” Jaemin continued, “Alam mo naman ‘yon diba?” Jaemin’s smile grew, a playful glint in his eyes as he noticed the blush spreading across Renjun’s face, "You don’t need to worry about anyone else," he said gently, "It's you I want to be around, okay?"

Renjun swallowed as he felt his throat dry up for some reason. He couldn’t find the right words to say so he just nodded, "Okay," he whispered, barely loud enough for Jaemin to hear.

"Good," Jaemin said, "It’s getting late. Pasok ka na. Kain ka ha?"

Renjun nodded again, still too flustered to say much.

As Jaemin turned to leave, he glanced over his shoulder one last time, his gaze softening as it met Renjun's, "Ah goodnight, Renjun," he called out.

Renjun stood there for a moment, watching Jaemin walk away, his heart still pounding in his chest. He felt like he could float. The butterflies in his stomach had only grown, and for the first time in a long while, Renjun was smiling uncontrollably.

"Goodnight, Jaemin," he whispered to himself, feeling lighter than ever.

Ever since Jaemin came into Renjun’s life. Renjun barely noticed the absence of his parents anymore. The emptiness of the house, the silence from their end– it didn’t affect him as much as it once did.

There were no questions, no "How are yous?" or "How was your day?" from them.

But Renjun had come to accept that, mostly because of Jaemin.

He didn’t feel the void as much.

The long walks home, the late-night conversations, the quiet but meaningful gestures. All of it kept Renjun's heart full in a way his parents never could.

But that evening was different.

When Renjun stepped through the door, something felt off.

Hearing his parents’ demanding voices across the hallway is something unusual for him.

Renjun takes in a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes, as if getting ready for his parents never-ending demands once more.

“Renjun, we need to talk,” his father’s voice called out the moment he set foot inside. It wasn’t warm, just direct, like a command.

Renjun paused, he walked slowly towards them, tightly gripping the straps of his bag. He looks up and sees both his mother and father sitting on the couch, papers spread out on the coffee table in front of them.

His mother looked up and asked, “Have you gone through the universities we sent you?” her tone was more businesslike than concerned, "You need to prepare your applications."

Renjun blinked, caught off guard, “U-uh… The universities… in the States?” he asked, though he knew the answer.

“Yes, the ones we discussed,” his father said, his brow furrowing, "Everything’s ready for you. All the information you need is there. We’ve spoken to a few of our connections, and they’re expecting your application."

Renjun felt his heart sink slightly. He hadn’t thought about those plans for a while now. His mind had been filled with other things, other people… Jaemin, mostly. Going to a university in the States felt distant, unreal, like something from another life.

“You just need to prepare for the entrance exams,” his mother added, as if it were the simplest thing in the world, "We’ve taken care of everything else."

Renjun stared at them. The words hit him like a wall. They had already made all the arrangements without asking how he felt about it. It was as if his thoughts, his own plans, didn’t matter.

“I… haven’t looked at them yet,” Renjun finally said, his voice quieter than usual.

His mother sighed, clearly frustrated, "Renjun, this is your future. You need to take it seriously. We’ve put in a lot of effort to ensure you have the best opportunities."

“I know… Sorry…” Renjun replied, though a part of him wasn’t so sure anymore. He just stood there, not even daring to look at his parents’ faces.

They were right in front of him, yet they felt further away than ever.

When he could finally excuse himself from the both of them, he immediately ran to his bedroom upstairs. He closed the door behind him and sunk to the ground, with his back resting on the door.

Even though we only talked for… less than 3 minutes or so… I already feel so exhausted.

They had already set the course for his future, and as much as he wanted to push back, he knew deep down that he couldn’t.

They controlled everything.

His education, his opportunities.

He couldn't say no to them. They had made it clear what they expected from him, and Renjun had always known that one day, he’d have to leave.

But now, the thought of leaving didn’t just feel like leaving home.

It felt like leaving Jaemin behind.

Jaemin… who had been his constant source of light these past few months.

Jaemin, who had shown him what it was like to feel seen, understood, and cared for.

Renjun couldn’t help but feel a pang in his chest as if it was pressing down on him.

What were these feelings, exactly? He hadn’t allowed himself to fully confront them before. But now, with the thought of leaving the country, Renjun couldn't stop himself from thinking about it.

Could he really leave Jaemin behind?

He stared out the window, the quiet night outside offering no answers. His phone sat on the desk beside him, and contemplated whether he should message Jaemin.

But what would he even say? How could he explain everything to him? How could he tell Jaemin that he might have to leave him, without ever telling him how much he meant to him?

Renjun’s thoughts spiraled. He had never imagined that Jaemin would mean this much to him, and now it was too late. No matter how strong these feelings were, they wouldn’t change the fact that he had no choice. His parents had already made the decisions for him.

He didn’t have the luxury of saying no. Not to them. They held his future in their hands, and as much as he wanted to stay with Jaemin, Renjun couldn’t defy them.

He closed his eyes, trying to push down the thoughts from creeping up. His mind was filled with moments of Jaemin. Their walks home, the playful teasing, the way Jaemin always made him feel safe.

Renjun’s heart ached at the thought of it all ending.

Maybe it was better this way, he told himself. Maybe it was better not to dwell on what could never be. But even as he thought that, Renjun couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that leaving Jaemin behind would break something in him that could never be repaired.

He just wasn’t sure if he had the strength to face it.

__________
Renjun had to push those thoughts away.

He had to pretend that nothing was bothering him.

He was thankful for actually being a the class’ president, even though they assigned him so abruptly. He can just be busy and not think about anything else.

The teachers are always bugging him and the other class officers for their graduation ball, which will happen in a few months. Their classmates would ask him about the deadlines coming up, especially now that the only requirements they need are: thesis, passing the defense, and major exams.

The preparations for college exams added another layer of stress to everything. They all discuss where they’d apply, what schools they were considering, and even the entrance exams they had to take.

Renjun, however, remained quiet about his own plans.

He knew he would have to leave everything behind soon.

He kept his future to himself, avoiding the conversation with anything, especially Jaemin.

But one afternoon, when him and Jaemin decided to stay in the classroom so they can finish studying for a subject they both are having a hard time with. Jaemin glanced over at Renjun, seemingly unusually quiet, with his brows furrowed in deep thought.

Jaemin suddenly felt awkward as he hears how quiet the classroom is, so without much thought, Jaemin spoke up, “Renjun, saan ka mag co-college?”

Renjun paused, his pen hovering over the papers on his desk. He looks up at Jaemin with slightly wide eyes, “...H-hindi ko pa alam eh.”

Jaemin tilted his head, “Hm… Plano ko na din kasi mag pasa ng requirements ko siguro next week or the week after that kung hindi tayo masyadong busy. Sabay tayo?”

Renjun hesitated. The idea of making future plans with Jaemin, knowing he was set to leave, felt bittersweet. He knew he couldn’t avoid this forever, and for a moment, he considered telling Jaemin the truth, about the States, about his parents’ plans, “I-” he started but he quickly purses his lips together before nodding, “...Sige.”

Jaemin’s face lit up, his smile widening, “Ano ba plano mong course?”

A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips, “Finance…” Renjun clears his throat, “You?”

“Ah, baka economics o kaya engineering,” Jaemin said, chuckling right after.

“...Those two are completely… Different fields,” Renjun slightly chuckles as well and dies down to a fond and affectionate smile at Jaemin, “Well, whatever you choose, I know you’ll be great at it.”

Jaemin mimics Renjun’s smile, slightly leaning forward to rest his head on the desk, “Ikaw din. I’m sure you can do it.”

Renjun breaks their eye contact as he looks back down on the paper and starts writing on it mindlessly.

He knows deep down that this was only temporary.

__________
“Jaemin!” One of their classmates approaches him in the canteen as they line up for one of the stalls that’s selling homemade bentos.

“Oh?” Jaemin turns to him after talking to Chenle, who’s lined up in front of him.

“Sino date mo sa grad ball?” he asked, leaning in as if expecting something from him.

Jaemin furrows his eyebrows together, as if disgusted- not really, he's just being playful. He slightly leans back and pushes him away, “Bakit mo naman tinatanong?”

Another classmate joined in, nudging Jaemin’s arms playfully, “Malapit na ah? Wala ka pa date? Ah! Alam ko na, si Charm! ‘Yung may crush sa’yo,” he teased, chuckling after, “Inaantay ka lang niya, Jaem. Bagay naman kayo eh, kung ako sa’yo tanongin mo na siya.”

Jaemin shakes his head before turning around, his back now facing them, “Isipin niyo na lang ‘yung mga date niyo.”

Chenle turns around, raising an eyebrow with a knowing and teasing smile, “Pumayag na ba?” he whispered, making sure they were the only ones who could hear their conversation.

“Sino?”

Chenle chuckles, “Sino pa ba?”

Jaemin shrugged before sighing, “Hindi ko pa natatanong.”

“Hina mo naman,” Chenle clicks his tongue, turning his back on Jaemin as well.

As Jaemin reached the front of the line, Jaemin ordered not one, but two lunch boxes. His classmates behind him noticed and couldn’t help but tease him.

“Kay Renjun nanaman ‘yan noh?” one of them said with a smirk, “Baka naman si Renjun date mo sa grad ball?”

Jaemin couldn’t help but smile, he turned back and shrugged, “Baka nga.”

With both lunch boxes in hand, Jaemin headed toward the rooftop, where Renjun was waiting for him.

As Jaemin reached the door to the rooftop, he paused for a moment, staring at the handle before letting out a soft chuckle. The thought of asking Renjun to the graduation ball had been playing on his mind for days now, but each time it came up, he laughed at the impossibility of it.

He knew Renjun wasn’t the kind of person who cared for grand gestures or formal events. Renjun was private, reserved, and didn’t enjoy the spotlight. The idea of asking him to be his date for the grad ball felt like a huge step– one Jaemin wasn’t sure Renjun would be comfortable with.

Still… The thought lingered in his mind. Jaemin smiled to himself, shaking his head slightly. Hindi naman ganon ka simple… he thought to himself.

Jaemin pushed the door open after taking a deep breath and stepped onto the rooftop. There, sitting quietly with his back against the wall, was Renjun, his eyes fixed on his phone, one of the earphones on his ear while the other one was just hanging.

Jaemin couldn’t help but smile once more, "Hey," he called out softly, watching Renjun's face light up as he approached.

-

That evening, Renjun sat on the edge of his bed. He sighed and glanced at the formal clothes laid out neatly in front of him.

Jackets, blazers, shirts… All things he'd worn before for events related to his parents' business, events where appearances mattered more than anything else.

He grabbed his phone and snapped a few pictures of the clothes. It wasn’t his forte to decide what looked good for formal events, but he knew exactly who to turn to for advice.

Renjun opened his messaging app and scrolled to his sister’s contact. She was always the one who knew what to wear and how to pull off a look for big events. More than that, she was always way more excited about these things than he was.

Renjun typed out a quick message as he attached the photos.

Renjun: I’m supposed to look for something to wear to the grad ball. Can you help? These are what I’ve got for formal stuff…

He hit send and kept his eyes on his phone screen, knowing Wendy would jump on this immediately. He could already picture her enthusiastic responses coming in.

Within seconds, his phone buzzed.

Ate: Yesss! Of course!! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!
Anyway, the clothes are good naman but you know we can do better.
Wait, let me think pa.

Renjun barely had time to respond before his phone buzzed again, this time with a string of excited messages from Wendy.

Ate: Choose the sleek, dark blazer ‘yung may pattern.
Pair it with a simple white button down shirt.
Ah and don’t worry about shoes, because I already found the perfect pair for you ;)

Renjun blinked at his screen, a bit overwhelmed by how fast she was moving.

Renjun: Wait, what do you mean you found shoes?

Ate: Nag order na ako.
They’re going to be perfect for the whole look, trust me.
They’ll arrive in a few weeks, just in time for the ball.
You have to match, Renjun. You’re gonna look amazing, I promise.

Renjun stared at the message, scoffing a bit as he couldn’t believe how fast she was going. She was clearly more invested in this than he was, but the thought of her putting in so much effort for him made him feel grateful. Even though she was far away, it felt like she was right there, picking everything out as if it were her own event.

Renjun: Ate… Ordering new shoes is a bit too overboard.

Ate: It’s notttt, Renjun.
okay anyway… may date ka na ba?

Renjun: Date?

Renjun blinked at the screen. He hadn’t thought much about it but his mind instantly went to Jaemin. Renjun shook his head as he felt his cheeks warm up.

Ate: Yes, date!! Don’t tell me mag-isa kang pupunta don.
Class president ka pa man din.

Renjun: What’s wrong about going to an event alone?
Plus, just like what you said, I’m only attending cause I’m the class president.

Ate: Fine, fine.
Still, I want you to look good in front of everybody. :)
Also about sa shoes! Tell me once you receive it, alright? We’ll go over the whole look after that.
Gotta go now!! Bye!!

Renjun lets out a sigh and places his phone down. Despite playing it off cool, a small part of him couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if Jaemin did ask him to be his date-

Renjun quickly shakes his head and gently taps his cheek. What am I thinking?

-

The next morning, when Jaemin told Renjun that he couldn’t walk him to school today, it definitely felt different. The moment he stepped into the classroom, he could feel eyes on him.

There was a subtle yet evident shift in the room, with whispers floating in the air followed by exchanged glances from his classmates. Renjun furrowed his eyebrows slightly as he kept his head down, quietly making his way to his desk.

When he reached his table, his eyes widened at the sight before him.

A small box of flat tops and a single yellow tulip.

Renjun slightly squints his eyes as he notices the folded note beside the gifts, and the handwriting immediately catches his attention.

Jaemin’s.

Renjun’s face flushed as he realized it, but he didn’t want to draw any more attention to himself, especially with the whole class clearly watching. He could already hear faint giggles and soft murmurs from nearby.

Renjun quickly stuffed the chocolates, the tulip, and the note into his bag, doing his best to look nonchalant. He sat down quietly, trying to compose himself to not draw any more attention.

Not even a few seconds later, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jeno entered the classroom, and as usual, they were full of chatter and laughter, but even so, Renjun kept his head down, avoiding any eye contact. He fiddled with his pencil, pretending to be absorbed in something as Jaemin made his way to the seat beside him.

The moment Jaemin sat down, Renjun’s eyes couldn’t help but flicker to the notes that he was holding; flowery, with hints of girly perfume clinging to the paper. His lips tightened for a second before he finally looked up.

"Where did you get those?" Renjun asked quietly, motioning toward the notes.

Jaemin glanced at the small pile and shrugged, leaning back in his chair, “Bigay lang.”

Renjun raised an eyebrow, “Did they ask to be your date for the ball?”

Jaemin’s nod was casual as if it didn’t mean much to him, stuffing the letters into his bag, “Yeah, ‘yung iba.”

Renjun stayed silent as he slightly gripped on the pencil he was holding and before the conversation could fall into an awkward silence, Jaemin turned to Renjun, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “Nakita mo ‘yung mga regalo ko sa’yo dito?”

Renjun nodded slowly, “I did.”

Jaemin's smile widened slightly, “Good… So… Ano sagot mo?”

“...What do you mean?” Renjun’s brows furrowed in confusion, “I haven’t read the note if your question is there.”

Jaemin nodded understandingly, “Fine… Answer me later mamayang lunch.”

-

The lunch break bell rang and of course, Renjun and Jaemin were walking side by side as they made their way toward the rooftop.

It was a normal day but then Jaemin couldn’t quite understand the- tension in the air, it felt like something was wrong.

When they reached the rooftop, Renjun finally turned to face Jaemin with a slight edge to his voice, “Jaemin… you shouldn’t have done that.”

Jaemin furrowed his brow, genuinely confused, “Done what?”

Renjun crossed his arms, “The chocolates, the tulip on my desk this morning. You know I don’t like attention, but everyone was whispering when I walked in… Nakakahiya.”

Jaemin’s confusion only deepened, making him frown slightly, “Wait, galit ka kasi I gave you something? I just wanted to make you feel special, Renjun… Ano mali don?”

Renjun could sense the frustration creeping into Jaemin’s voice, but he wasn’t ready to let it go just yet, “It’s not about the gift, Jaemin. It’s about the way you did it. You know I don’t like being the center of attention.”

Jaemin sighed, running a hand through his hair, his own frustration growing, “I was just trying to do something nice for you. You always act like you don’t want anything, but I thought this time, maybe it would be okay. Gusto ko lang iparamdam gaano ka ka-special sa’akin, Renjun..”

Renjun looked away, still upset but starting to feel conflicted. He hadn’t expected Jaemin to be frustrated too, “I get that, but… you didn’t think about how it would make me feel when everyone was staring and whispering.”

Jaemin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, “Hindi ko maintindihan, Renjun… Why does it matter what they think? I’m giving you something because I care about you, not because I want people to talk.”

Renjun stayed silent for a moment, feeling the knot of frustration loosen just a little. He knew Jaemin wasn’t trying to upset him, but… still, being the talk of the town in the room didn’t sit right with him, “I know... it’s just not me. I don’t like being put on the spot like that. Alam mo naman ‘yon.”

Jaemin looked at him for a long moment, his frustration slowly starting to go away. He then let out a softer sigh, “Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Renjun’s eyes softened slightly, nodding, “Just… don’t do it in front of everyone next time, okay?”

“Alright… I’ll make it more… subtle and private next time…”

Even though they had cleared up their frustrations earlier, the rooftop was still unusually quiet. Jaemin and Renjun still sat side by side, with their lunch boxes resting on their laps.

Renjun, who still feels a little upset, had put his earphones in, focusing on the music instead in order to avoid talking. He picked at his food, with a distant faze, his shoulders were slightly hunched, and he seemed determined not to look Jaemin’s way.

Jaemin, on the other hand, kept glancing at Renjun out of the corner of his eye. Rather than feeling frustrated, he felt guilty. He hadn’t meant for things to turn out like this. He knew Renjun was upset and seeing him so quiet only made Jaemin feel worse.

Jaemin then took a bite of his food, then sighed quietly, stealing another glance at Renjun. Normally, they’d be talking, laughing, or teasing each other about something, but now the silence was all that was there between them.

Renjun, still engrossed in his music, didn’t notice Jaemin’s glances. He wasn’t angry anymore, but he didn’t feel like talking either.

Then the walk home was also quiet, the tension from earlier already eased but still lingering in the air. Renjun and Jaemin walked side by side and this time Renjun was the one who had been stealing glances at Jaemin.

The silence made his mind swirl with thoughts he hadn’t voiced yet.

Why does he always walk me home?

Nadadaanan pa nga namin ‘yung street nila…

After what felt like forever, Renjun finally spoke up though still a little hesitant, "Why do you always walk me home?"

Jaemin smiled to himself, not breaking his stride, “I just like having a bit more time with you,” he answered simply with a warm tone.

Renjun blinked, feeling his heart skip a beat at the honesty in Jaemin’s words. He didn’t say anything else, just nodded quietly.

They soon reached Renjun’s house and as they came to a stop, Jaemin turned to go, giving Renjun a small wave, “Ganon ulit bukas ah? Goodnight,” he said with a smile.

But just as Jaemin was about to take his first step away, Renjun suddenly found courage in him as he called out for him, "Jaemin," he called softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

Jaemin turned around, slightly confused at first, "Hm?"

Renjun paused, his face turning a shade pinker than before. He looked down at the ground, his hands fidgeting slightly before he mumbled, "Sure."

Jaemin blinked, not quite understanding at first, "Sure? Ano ibig mo sabihin?"

Renjun glanced up at him, meeting his eyes for a brief second before quickly looking away, "About… being your date for the grad ball," he said, his voice quiet and shy.

Jaemin's confusion melted away, replaced with wide-eyed realization. He stood frozen, then a wide smile spread across his face, so bright it was contagious, "Totoo?" he asked, his voice full of excitement.

Renjun gave a small nod.

Jaemin, still grinning from ear to ear, couldn’t contain his happiness, “Okay,” he said softly, with a voice filled with joy.

When Jaemin turned around to head back home, he was practically glowing, his steps light and almost like he was skip-walking. Renjun watched him for a moment, feeling his own lips tug into a small smile, his heart lighter than it had been in a while.

__________
It was a typical school day. It was quiet but everyone was filled with anticipation as the only things the students were waiting for were the graduation and the grad ball.

The air in the classroom felt lighter now that they had finished all their major exams and projects. Everyone was relaxed, enjoying the calm before the stressful yet awarding graduation preparations.

Renjun was seated at his usual spot, scribbling something in his notebook, when their homeroom teacher entered. The chatter in the room quieted as she approached the front, holding a clipboard with a knowing smile.

"Alright, class, I have some final announcements before we wrap things up for today," the teacher began, "As you all know, the school will be recognizing the highest-performing students for this year."

Renjun, like most of the class, barely paid attention to the announcement. They all knew who the top students were, and Renjun never cared much for recognition anyway. But when the teacher cleared her throat and said his name, “First in the batch, as expected, is Renjun,” there was a ripple of applause and soft cheers from his classmates.

Despite knowing he had always been top of the class, hearing it officially still made Renjun blink in surprise.

"And in second place," the teacher continued, "is Jaemin."

The class clapped again, and Jaemin flashed his usual grin, giving Renjun a playful nudge. Renjun returned the smile but he went back to whatever he was scribbling in his notebook.

After the class had settled down and everyone began packing up, their teacher motioned for Renjun and Jaemin to stay behind, "Renjun, Jaemin," the teacher called out for them with a much softer tone, "First of all, congratulations to both of you. You've both done an outstanding job,” the both of them nodded, "Renjun, there's one more thing," she said, her eyes now focusing on him, "The president of the school has personally requested that you give a speech at the graduation ceremony. Since you've been with us since first grade and have consistently been the top-performing student, it feels fitting that you represent the batch as its speaker."

Renjun's eyes widened in surprise, "A speech?" he repeated.

The teacher nodded. "Yes, a speech."

Renjun was silent as he processed the request. Jaemin leaned over, nudging him again with a supportive smile, "Kaya mo ‘yan, ikaw pa," he teased, though his eyes showed nothing but encouragement.

Renjun gave a small nod, still unsure, "O-Okay... I’ll do it."

The teacher smiled warmly. "Thank you, Renjun. I know it’ll be great." She then turned to Jaemin. "And Jaemin, kita ko naman sa inyo na you’re a great leader too sa klase, so I trust you’ll be there to support him."

Jaemin nodded as well with a wide and excited grin, "Wouldn’t miss it for the world."

-

That night, Renjun sat on the edge of his bed, his phone in hand, staring at his mother’s contact name. The screen glowed softly in the dimly lit room, as he stared at the blinking text cursor on the message box. His thumb hovered over the message field and chewed his lower lip in thought.

Being chosen as the top student of the batch and even getting asked to do a speech to be the representative of the whole batch is a big deal.

It definitely is something worth sharing with his family. It’s something that will absolutely make them proud.

Yet… As much as Renjun wanted to tell his own mother about this big achievement… A part of him hesitated.

Would she even care?

He sighed, leaning back against his pillow, his mind replaying all the memories of how often his parents were absent from these kinds of moments.

Renjun: Mom.
I wanted to let you know I was chosen as the top student this year, and I’ll be giving a speech at the graduation ceremony.
It would mean a lot if you could come.
You and dad…

He stared at the message for a long moment before pressing send.

Now, all he could do was wait.

Then minutes stretched on. Renjun found himself checking his phone constantly. One moment he had his eyes closed then even just one notification went off from his phone, he would immediately check if it was from his mother.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a reply came in. Renjun’s fingers tightened around his phone as he opened the message.

Mom: Oh, I remember the graduation. Congratulations, Renjun. You’ve always done well.

That was it.

It didn’t feel warm. Renjun didn’t feel any excitement coming from her message. It’s just a simple and factual response.

Still though… at least she responded. He couldn’t ask for more than that.

Renjun stared at the message for a moment longer, his slight smile fading as he set his phone down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

He wanted so much for this moment to feel special, for it to matter more. But even though it didn’t feel as deep or genuine as he’d hoped, it was still something.

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and let the small and fragile smile linger on his lips.

__________
The day was already alive with bright flashing lights of different shades of colors across the room. There are chandeliers sparkling overhead, lush velvet curtains draped from the tall walls and tables neatly arranged around the room, each adorned with centerpieces of white roses and fake candle lights.

It’s the graduation ball day.

It’s only around lunch time yet the students are still scurrying about and finalizing last-minute details with their uniforms still on as the ball itself wouldn’t start until the night.

Renjun is deep in his role as class president and is basically doing everything he can. He moved around, checking on decorations, giving instructions, and ensuring everything was in its rightful place.

Despite everyone literally being chaotic around him, Renjun remained calm like his usual composure is intact.

On the sidelines, Jaemin, Chenle, and Jeno were taking a breather. They were still in their school uniforms, slightly unbuttoned as the fatigue got the best of them as they’ve been walking around since the morning.

Jaemin, however, couldn’t keep his eyes off Renjun. He watched with a smile, his gaze never straying far from the hardworking president.

Chenle notices Jaemin’s focus on Renjun before giving him a playful nudge. “Kanina ka pa nakatingin kay Mr. President ah? Niyaya mo na ba siya para sa grad ball mamaya?”

Jaemin’s cheeks flushed slightly as he nodded, his smile widening, “Oo ah.”

“Oh? Ansabe?”

Jaemin’s smile turned into a proud and playful cocky smirk, “Tinatanong pa ba ‘yan? Syempre um-oo.”

Jeno then spoke up, “Yabang ah.”

Jaemin’s gaze softened as he observed Renjun, who was now directing a group of students in setting up the final touches.

Chenle leaned in, nudging Jaemin’s shoulder once more, “Ready ka na ba mamaya?”

“Oo… Excited na ako makita si Renjun mamaya.”

-

And finally…

The time had finally come for the graduation ball.

Renjun stood in front of the mirror in his house, wearing his formal attire. The deep navy blue of his suit complemented his features, and the fit of the tailored jacket and trousers highlighted his refined appearance. Ate sure knows how to style someone… He adjusted his tie one last time, smoothing down his jacket as he took a deep breath.

He stared at his reflection, feeling a little nervous yet excited at the same time. He’s nervous because he doesn’t really like attending get-togethers like these and he’s excited because of… Jaemin.

Renjun’s phone buzzed with a message from Jaemin.

Jaemin - Classmate: see you later, renjun!! :)

Renjun smiled at the thought of Jaemin’s enthusiasm and support. Even though Jaemin had insisted on picking him up with his mom, Renjun had insisted it was unnecessary. The event venue was a bit out of their way, and he didn’t want to be a burden to them.

Renjun took one last glance at his reflection before heading downstairs. His driver waited by the car, ready to take him to the school's gym where the graduation ball was being held.

Renjun slid into the backseat of the car and took a deep breath and as the car pulled away, the city lights flickered past, and his thoughts drifted to the night ahead; seeing Jaemin.

The event hall was alive with mostly cheerful conversations and the loudness of the speakers, the teachers' and students’ voices echoing throughout the whole building. Jaemin sat at his table, surrounded by friends and classmates, but his attention was focused elsewhere. His eyes scanned the room, searching eagerly for a familiar figure.

And then… he saw him.

As soon as Renjun entered the hallway, it seemed as though everything had stopped. The vibrant colors and bustling crowd seemed to blur into the background as Jaemin’s gaze focused on Renjun.

Time itself seemed to slow down.

Jaemin’s heartbeat quickened, each thud resonating in his ears as he watched Renjun move through the room.

Renjun’s formal attire was immaculate, the suit contrasting perfectly with his light skin, and his presence seemed to draw light towards him. There was a subtle, almost serene smile on Renjun’s face as he made his way toward Jaemin. The smile was small, but it held a warmth that seemed to illuminate the space around him.

Jaemin's breath caught in his throat, unable to look away. Every step Renjun took felt like a moment suspended in time, and Jaemin was completely captivated by the sight. He could feel his own pulse racing, and the world around him seemed to fade into a soft and distant hum.

When Renjun finally reached the table, his eyes met Jaemin’s. The smile on Renjun’s face grew just a little wider, and it was as if that smile was meant just for Jaemin.

As Renjun reached Jaemin’s table, Jaemin’s eyes lit up with so much fondness and admiration. He took in Renjun’s appearance, his voice filled with genuine awe as he spoke, “You look really good tonight… pretty even,” Jaemin said, a soft blush coloring his cheeks.

Renjun’s smile widened, his eyes twinkling, “Thank you… You look… amazing too.”

The two shared a brief and affectionate smile before they both took their seats as the program began.

Jaemin tried to focus on the event, but his gaze kept drifting back to Renjun. He couldn’t help it and no one can blame him…. Every time he looked at Renjun, he was reminded of how beautiful he looked.

As the program continued, the lights slowly started to dim and the spotlight turned to the very center of the gymnasium.

It’s time for the dance.

Jaemin glanced at Renjun, a hint of worry in his eyes quite evident, as he knew Renjun would be watching them from the sidelines.

Renjun catches Jaemin’s gaze and flashes him a reassuring smile, “Why do you look so worried?” he said, almost with a teasing tone. Before Jaemin could respond, he subtly nodded, mouthing the words, "It's okay," to ease Jaemin’s concern.

Jaemin took a deep breath before standing up and going to where his partner was for the dance. He stepped onto the dance floor and the music began, and Jaemin moved gracefully with his partner, all while keeping an occasional glance toward Renjun, who stood watching with soft and supportive eyes.

As Renjun watched Jaemin glide across the dance floor, he couldn’t help but be captivated by how handsome Jaemin looked. Jaemin’s formal attire, a sleek suit that perfectly complemented his posture, made him look every bit the charming escort he was meant to be.

The way Jaemin moved with grace and with every step, they exuded confidence and ease, leaving Renjun breathless. The soft glow of the lights cast an almost ethereal glow on Jaemin’s face, enhancing the sharp lines of his jaw and the subtle curve of his lips.

He looks almost… unreal.

Renjun felt like a wave of warmth and admiration washed over him as he observed Jaemin and it’s obviously undeniable that his heart is fluttering that much because of him.

It was so clear to Renjun now, with every graceful move and every gentle smile from Jaemin, that his feelings for him ran deep.

The realization that he was infatuated with someone who could make him feel so many emotions at once was both thrilling and bittersweet.

Yet, even as he gushed internally at the sight of Jaemin, being with him for a longer while is far from reality. The thought of leaving for the States soon, knowing it would mean he would be physically separated from Jaemin, replaced the flutters in his heart into something that felt so heavy.

Despite the joy Jaemin brought him… Renjun knew he had to leave him soon, so every moment was more precious, now that the time with Jaemin was slipping away all too quickly.

As the night wore on, the ball continued, Renjun grew weary and overwhelmed by the seemingly unlimited energy of the crowd. He had been surrounded by people for hours, and the noise and chatter were starting to feel suffocating.

Jaemin, on the other hand, was caught up with students even from different sections. He is one of the most popular students in their batch, being smart, handsome, and genuinely kind at the same time? Mhm, so students are not gonna miss out on seeing Jaemin so freely like that.

Though he does wish to return to Renjun’s side now, he’s just unable to excuse himself from the conversations. He didn’t want to come off rude.

Renjun finally caught a glimpse of Jaemin from the crowd, he didn’t want to disturb him so he quietly excused himself and slipped out of the main hall, heading towards the rooftop. The moment he stepped out into the cool, night air, he felt a sense of relief wash over him.

Renjun leaned against the railing, taking deep breaths and letting the fresh air clear his mind.

The night air was crisp, it felt too relaxing actually. It carries with it the faint hum of music and laughter from the gym, but up where Renjun, it was quiet– still.

As he looked up, he noticed that the stars were barely visible through the city lights, and he exhaled slowly, watching his breath fade into the air.

This rooftop had always been his escape. He had come there multiple times to clear his mind and to feel the weight of the world fall away, even just for a moment.

But now everything is starting to sink in… that it maybe the last time he’d ever stand there, in the place that had become his comfort- ah, our comfort. Jaemin and I’s spot.
He could hear the muffled excitement below, people cheering, celebrating, and enjoying the moment– but up there, everything felt distant.

Renjun sighed, running a hand through his hair. It felt unreal, knowing that soon he would be leaving everything behind. The school, the rooftop, the teachers who helped him in all ways possible and… Jaemin, the only person who actually mattered the most to him.

A part of him wanted to stay right there, frozen in time, where things were still familiar and safe.

As the stars continued to shine over him, Renjun allowed himself to feel vulnerable, now seeing the vastness of the school he technically grew up in, made him contemplate his future.

After a few minutes of silence, Renjun’s thoughts were interrupted by the soft clinking of the door. He turned and saw Jaemin coming in from the door, holding two containers of buko pandan, trying to balance them as he held onto the plastic spoons.

When Jaemin finally spotted Renjun, he let out a relieved sigh and chuckled, “Kanina pa kita hinahanap,” he said as he walked towards him, placing the containers on the edge before turning his attention back to Renjun, “Dinalhan kita nito, nakita ko pagkain mo, halos hindi mo naman kinain,” he playfully clicks his tongue, opening the containers carefully, “Bakit ka umalis, hm? Did someone make you feel uncomfortable? Sino?”

Despite Jaemin practically blabbering, Renjun’s gaze remained fixed on him with a soft and almost wistful smile playing on his lips. The way Jaemin moved, the sound of his voice, and the genuine kindness in his eyes—it all seemed to engrave itself into Renjun’s memory, and he couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving it all behind. Leaving him behind.

Jaemin continued chatting, clearly drowning in adrenaline. He took a spoonful and added, “Tikman mo ‘to, hindi daw ‘to ‘yung binebenta sa canteen dati so masarap daw ‘to. Bilis nga maubos kaya kumuha na agad ako ng extra para sa’yo.”

Renjun finally looked away from Jaemin, glancing down at the container. “Thank you,” he said quietly, his voice almost lost in the gentle breeze.

Jaemin looked at him with concern in his eyes, “Okay ka lang?”

Renjun nodded with a reassuring smile.

As Jaemin leaned against the railing as well, he offered the spoonful to Renjun, who accepted it with a grateful smile. He takes the spoonful of buko pandan from him and eats it, careful not to spill anything on their clothes.

Jaemin then continued to talk about literally everything that has happened in the ball while he was away, given it was only around 15 minutes. Jaemin would continuously glance over at Renjun with a bright smile and eyes crinkling. As always, the joy in Jaemin’s expression was contagious and Renjun couldn’t help but mirror it, his smile becoming more genuine and radiant with each passing second.

Whenever Jaemin looked at him with that damn charming smile, it was as if the world narrowed to just the two of them.

Renjun found solace in them. And it’s just… sad that he has to leave the peace and quietness he had been craving for for so long.

It had been half an hour since they lingered on the rooftop, the night was growing late as the air was getting cooler. Jaemin and Renjun lingered on the rooftop for long enough and Jaemin eventually changed the topic and asked, “Balik na tayo sa baba?”

Renjun kept his eyes on Jaemin, as he mindlessly fidgeted with the plastic spoon in his hands. He chewed on his lower lip, hesitating for a moment. He then took a deep breath, “Jaemin,” he sighed out with a shaky breath, “May sasabihin ako.”

Jaemin looks at him as well, eyes slightly wide out of curiosity. He then chuckles a bit, “Nakakakaba naman ‘yan.”

“Aalis na ako.”

“Uuwi ka na? Andyan na ba driver mo?”

Renjun shook his head, looking down at the, now, empty container he was holding, “I meant… Pupunta akong ibang bansa-”

“Bakasyon? That’s good, saan-”

“U.S. and it’s not just for a vacation,” Renjun muttered, “I’ll stay there… For good.”

Jaemin’s face fell as he processed the news. He had assumed that the plans they made together were set in stone, that their futures were intertwined in some way. The thought of Renjun leaving, especially now when their bond felt so strong, was unexpected and disheartening, “What do you mean? Nag submit na tayo ng requirements sa mga universities na pinuntahan natin ah? Aantayin pa natin kelan entrance exams nila,” he shook his head, chuckling in disbelief, “Ah, so after college pupunta ka na ng US?”

“Hindi, Jaemin. I’m going to college there-”

“Huh? I don’t get it, Renjun…”

“Aalis na ako right after the graduation ceremony,” Renjun said with his voice a lot quieter this time.

Jaemin just stared at him, the weight of Renjun’s words seemed like it’s slowly settling in, “...Agad agad?”

Renjun just nodded, keeping his eyes locked on the ground.

“But... why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Jaemin asked, his voice laced with a mix of hurt and confusion, “Sabay pa tayo pumunta sa mga universities, nag hanap pa tayo ng mga dorm at apartment, diba?” Jaemin lets out a heavy breath, “Ilang araw na lang graduation na, Renjun…”

Renjun finally looked up, his eyes meeting Jaemin’s. He offered him a faint smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I just... don’t have much of a choice. My parents have already decided this for me.”

Jaemin could see and he could almost feel the amount of sadness in Renjun’s eyes when he finally looked up at him. Jaemin’s disappointment began to dissolve and is slowly being replaced by an overwhelming sadness of his own.

He didn’t want to fight and he didn’t want to get angry at Renjun. The last thing he wanted to do was to make Renjun feel even worse.

His heart softened as he looked at Renjun, also realizing just how hard it must be for him too.

Jaemin sighed softly and stepped closer, forcing himself to push the thought of Renjun leaving out of his mind, even if just for now. He extended his hand to him with a small and gentle smile playing on his lips, “They were dancing all over the place when I left to find you… Gusto mo rin ba sumayaw?”

Renjun blinked in surprise and without much thought, he reached out as well and took Jaemin’s hand, “Here?”

“Yes, here,” Jaemin nodded, gently pulling him close, “Tayo lang.”

He led Renjun to the center of the rooftop, where the moonlight cast a gentle glow over them. Jaemin took the lead, placing his hand on Renjun’s waist while his other hand holding Renjun’s as he guided him through the steps. Renjun followed, or tried to follow him as his movements were a bit rusty.

Even though there were a lot of clumsy steps going on, the moment felt comforting and light. Jaemin would laugh ever-so softly whenever Renjun stepped on his feet and Renjun couldn’t help but shyly smile.

Jaemin then gently pulled Renjun closer to him by his waist, “Doesn’t this feel right?”

Renjun looked into Jaemin’s eyes and it was as if he could almost see his own reflection through his eyes, “Yeah, it does feel right.”

They continued to dance as the night offered a brief escape, like a chance to cherish what they had in the here and now.

As they swayed gently under the moonlit sky, Renjun’s steps grew slower, almost as if he’s letting Jaemin take control of everything. Then, he slowly leaned in closer until his cheek gently rested on Jaemin’s shoulder. He could feel the sensation of Jaemin’s heartbeat beneath his cheek, it was soothing to the point that everything; the fatigue, the worries and the pressure of both his past and future seemed to instantly disappear.

Jaemin felt Renjun’s shift, his weight pressing gently against him. He responded instinctively by wrapping both his arms a bit tighter around him. Renjun’s fingers, now resting lightly on Jaemin’s back, clung onto him with a gentle desperation. The way he held on seemed to say that he wished this moment could last forever, that he could just stay with him without the weight of reality pressing him down.

Jaemin, too, was feeling the same way; Wishing they could freeze time and stay in their own bubble. His voice was a whisper against Renjun’s ear, “I wish we could just stay here like this, forever.”

Renjun’s eyes were closed, focusing more on Jaemin’s deep and affectionate voice, “I wish that too,” he then spoke softly, almost as if afraid to disturb the moment, “Jaemin, I don’t want to leave.”

Jaemin felt his heart tighten at Renjun’s words as he tightened his hug around him a lot more, “Then don’t.”

Renjun shook his head, a soft sigh escaping his lips, “If it’s that easy…”

“Well, if it’s that difficult… Then let’s run away. Just you and me.”

Renjun slightly pulled back, keeping his hands resting on Jaemin’s shoulder. He looked up at him with eyes slightly wide, searching Jaemin’s face. He is half-expecting Jaemin to laugh it off but he looks so serious, “Run away?”

Jaemin nodded, now a playful smirk tugging at his lips, “Let’s start fresh, yeah? Iwan na natin sila lahat dito.”

Renjun’s lips curved into a smile as well, “I don’t think we can just disappear, Jaemin…”

Jaemin’s expression softened at the sight of Renjun smiling, “I know… It’s a crazy idea. Pero sometimes, the thought of running away seems a lot better than facing all the things we don’t want to.”

“...I wish it could be that simple,” Renjun murmured as he leaned once more to rest his head back on Jaemin’s shoulder.

Jaemin responded by resting his head gently on top of Renjun’s, briefly closing his eyes, and inhaling his familiar scent. It was flowery and light, with a hint of musk, a smell that had become second nature to Jaemin, one that brought him comfort and made him feel at home.

-

The night was quiet as Jaemin and Renjun walked home together. Jaemin carried almost all of Renjun's belongings, his blazer draped over his arm, his bag slung over his shoulder. The weight of the items didn’t seem to bother him; if anything, he wore a content smile on his face.

When they finally reached the front of Renjun’s house, Jaemin turned to him with a reassuring smile, “Bukas ah?” he said with a gentle tone.

Renjun nodded, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jaemin’s smile grew a bit wider as he handed Renjun back his things, “Pahinga ka na… Goodnight.”

Renjun watched as Jaemin turned to leave, his figure slowly disappearing into the night.

Later that night, Renjun and Jaemin continued to message each other, their texts turned into an abrupt call and even through the phone, Jaemin’s voice was a comforting presence to Renjun.

They had been talking for hours, their conversation slowly drifting from topic to topic, until the pauses between Renjun’s responses became longer.

Their calls grew softer, their words less frequent as fatigue set in. Eventually, their voices trailed off into contented silence, both of them drifting off to sleep with the phone still clutched in their hands. Renjun felt his eyelids growing heavier as he lay in bed, listening to Jaemin's voice on the other end of the line.

Renjun’s head sank deeper into his pillow, the soft murmur of Jaemin’s voice fading into the background as his breathing slowed. He fought to stay awake, to hold on to the connection between them for just a bit longer, but sleep was pulling him under.
Before he knew it, Renjun’s thoughts blurred and slipped away, the phone still held loosely in his hand. Somewhere in the haze of sleep, he felt a faint smile tug at his lips, the sound of Jaemin’s voice lingering in his dreams.

__________
A few days later, Renjun was ready to have his graduation speech checked by his homeroom teacher. He heads to the classroom and approaches his teacher’s desk.

She took the pages from him with a warm smile, settling into her chair as she began to read. Renjun watched her expression closely, hoping for approval. As she reached the of the script, her brow furrowed slightly, “Renjun, sorry to ask this ha… Pero bakit hindi mo binanggit dito parents mo? A lot of parents will attend the ceremony…”

Renjun immediately felt a pang of discomfort. He had hoped to keep his speech focused on his own experiences and the people who had supported him directly, “Oh, I must have just forgotten to add them. I can include a mention of them before I submit it to you po...”

The teacher nodded, “Anything else looks great. Good job, Renjun.”

Renjun thanked her and left the classroom, clutching the draft tightly. As he walked down the empty school halls, his mind drifted back to the topic of his parents. They had been largely absent from his daily life, their presence were mostly limited to financial support and occasional check-ins when it came to his schooling.

They had never really been involved in his personal milestones, and because of that, he struggled with how to acknowledge them in his speech.

Back at home, Renjun sat at his desk, staring at the draft. He knew he had to include something, but what could he say about parents who had been so distant?

He considered writing something generic, something that might meet the expectations of formality but lack personal depth. Yet, a part of him wrestled with the authenticity of such an acknowledgment. He wanted to be honest but didn’t know how to express the reality of his relationship with his parents without letting bitterness seep through or sounding insincere.

Renjun sighed deeply and began to type. He decided to keep it simple and respectful, acknowledging their role in providing for his education while subtly expressing his own sense of independence. As he typed the words, he hoped the message would reflect his feelings, just the right balance between feeling grateful and honest which reflects his true feelings without overshadowing the significance of his achievements and the people who had genuinely supported him.

__________
Renjun and Jaemin found themselves on the rooftop of their school, it was the end of the day, the sky is painted with hues of orange and pink as the sun began to set.

Jaemin leaned his back against the railing, watching Renjun as he prepared his speech, “I promiiiiise, hindi nga ako tatawa. Tsaka bakit kita tatawanan?” Jaemin said with a soft chuckle.

Renjun playfully sighed and nodded, stepping forward and standing in front of Jaemin, his heart beating slightly faster as he prepared to recite his speech. He took a deep breath and began, his voice was clear and steady as he delivered his words.

As he finished, Renjun looked up, meeting Jaemin’s gaze. Jaemin clapped, a smile spreading across his face, “Oh? Okay naman ah? But… is it just me, or did your speech seem a bit short?”

Renjun chuckled softly, “Surprise na ‘yung iba sa ceremony na mismo. I want to keep it a little special for the actual event.”

Jaemin raised an eyebrow, “Oh? May pa-surprise ka pang nalalaman ah..”

Renjun smiled, “Thanks for listening, Jaemin…”

Jaemin nodded, his eyes warm with encouragement, “Basta ikaw… and you’ve got this.”

__________
A few days later, with graduation just around the corner, Renjun took the opportunity to ask his mother about her availability. She was in the living room, handling some documents before he approached her with a hopeful look.

“Mom, are you free on my graduation day… Uhm… I was hoping you’d be able to come,” he said as he fiddled with the tickets given to them by the school.

His mother glanced up, her expression initially neutral, then slightly apologetic, “Oh… I might be out of the country, son. I have a meeting with a client around that time…”

Renjun quickly folded the piece of paper in his hand, as if he was trying to hide it, “But… It’s my graduation, mom… This is really important to me…”

His mother’s response was a bit nonchalant, “I see… Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Would it be okay for you to attend alone?”

The lack of a more heartfelt apology or an offer to reschedule stung Renjun more than he’d expected. He wanted to say that it wasn’t okay, that he wished she could be there, but he didn’t want to cause any further discomfort, so he forced a smile and said, “It’s fine… I’ll manage.”

His mother gave a brief nod and returned to her paperwork, seemingly content with the arrangement. As Renjun walked away, his heart felt heavy as his steps. He was going to attend such a significant milestone without his family watching… It was disheartening but then… Jaemin will be there.

Renjun took a deep breath as he entered his room and locked his door, trying to stay positive and focused on the upcoming ceremony, even if it wasn’t the family celebration he had hoped for.

Renjun had convinced himself that his mother’s absence at his graduation wouldn’t affect him much. After all, he had dealt with their absence during other important events.

But over the following days, it weighed heavily on him. The more he thought about it, the more the sadness crept in.

He’d find himself staring out the window in class or zoning out when his friends were talking. Even Jaemin noticed, his usual lively energy around him dimmed.

Jaemin, being attentive when it came to Renjun, picked up on the shifts in his mood. He didn’t ask directly, not wanting to pressure him, but Jaemin started subtly trying to lift Renjun’s spirits. Whether it was cracking silly jokes during lunch, playfully nudging him, or making exaggerated faces when Renjun glanced his way, Jaemin did everything he could to make Renjun smile. Sometimes it worked, Renjun would offer a small, grateful smile, but the sadness was still quite evident.

Fast forward to the night before their graduation, and Renjun was busy, sitting at his desk, continuously going over his speech.

It started to sink in on him, that he’d be speaking in front of everyone. He was carefully choosing his words, making sure his speech was perfect. His teacher had agreed to look over it one last time, and Jaemin had tagged along as well.

After that, they found themselves sitting together by the bench outside of the school and every now and then, Jaemin would throw in a suggestion, sometimes practical, sometimes just meant to lighten the mood.

“Suggestion lang,” Jaemin said, leaning back in his chair with a smile, “Simulan mo kaya speech mo with, ‘Thank you for putting up with me for twelve years.’ Keep it short and sweet.”

Renjun chuckled softly, shaking his head, “I don’t think that would fly with the teachers.”

Jaemin grinned, happy to at least get a small laugh out of him. But as Renjun continued to carefully rehearse his words, Jaemin watched him closely, noticing the weight of his speech bearing down on him. He knew something was wrong and even though Renjun masked it well, Jaemin could feel the sadness radiating from him, like a quiet storm brewing beneath the surface.

Jaemin sat quietly, offering his presence as a silent form of support, but the longer he watched, the more he felt the need to do something.

Jaemin knew he made it a little more bearable for Renjun just by being there with him, even if neither of them said a word.

But it didn’t mean Jaemin wouldn’t do anything about it, unable to stand it any longer, Jaemin slowly shifted closer. He then reached out and wrapped his arms around him in a tight, warm hug. It was the kind of hug that spoke louder than any words could.

Renjun hesitated for just a second before hugging Jaemin back, squeezing him tighter than he ever had before. There was something different about this hug. It felt heavier because they both knew this could be one of their last moments together before everything changed.

Jaemin’s arms held him firmly as if he was afraid to let go. Renjun buried his face in Jaemin’s shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent that had always brought him comfort. His chest felt tight, but he didn’t want to pull away.

Not yet.

Not when this hug felt like it was holding all the unsaid words between them.

Neither of them said anything for a while, just holding on. Renjun could feel Jaemin’s heart beating steadily against his chest and at that moment, he let himself get lost in that sound, in the feeling of Jaemin's warmth surrounding him.

When they finally pulled back, just slightly, Jaemin whispered, “I’ll miss this.”

Renjun swallowed hard, nodding slightly. He didn’t trust his voice at that moment, so he just held Jaemin’s gaze, trying to memorize every detail of his face, every line and curve under the soft glow of the sunset.

__________
The grand hall was filled with the soft, nostalgic tune of the graduation song, whenever a student hears that, it’s like the song carried every weight of their journey. The rows were lined with students in their togas, sitting side by side, eagerly waiting for their names to be called.

Renjun, on the other hand, is sitting quietly among them, his eyes scanning the crowd.

In a separate section, parents and loved ones filled the seats. Families are there waiting to see their graduates walk across the stage. Renjun’s eyes kept wandering to that section where he knew his parents’ seats would be.

And it’s empty.

They really didn’t come.

They didn’t… really come…

He felt a very familiar feeling in his chest. He is disappointed but now it’s mixed with nervousness. He will be making a speech in front of a lot of people and not just the familiar faces he knows, but even the people who he doesn’t even know.

What if he couldn’t do this? What if his speech fell flat? What if he stumbled across the stage with no one there to cheer for him?

He shifted in his seat, his fingers anxiously playing with the tassel of his graduation cap, heart pounding against his ribs. His eyes flickered toward the crowd again, searching for any familiar face, any comforting presence, but all he saw were strangers.

His mind was racing now, the noise of the ceremony fading into the background as the weight of being alone pressed down on him. This was supposed to be one of the biggest moments of his life, but without his parents, without anyone there to witness it, it suddenly felt so small.

Just as the nerves began to overwhelm him, he felt a soft vibration from his pocket. He discreetly pulled out his phone, hiding it under the folds of his toga.

It was a message from Jaemin.

Jaemin – Classmate: kaya mo yan, renjun!!
if you get nervous, just look for me B)
just breathe
you can do this

Oh…

I’m not alone after all.

Jaemin was there.

Maybe not sitting next to him, but present in the way that mattered. Renjun took a deep breath, letting Jaemin’s words ground him. He straightened up in his seat, his heart still fluttering, but the anxiety started to ease.

He could do this. He wasn’t alone. Not completely.

As Renjun stood on the side of the stage, his nerves began to get the better of him. It felt like he can hear everyone in the venue, in such a huge room, and the weight of the moment… It all pressed on him.

He clutched his hands together, trying to keep his calm as he watched one by one, the other graduates walking up on stage with somoene by their sides, accepting their diplomas and medals with thim.

But for Renjun, there was no one.

He felt a wave of anxiety wash over him, knowing that in a few moments, his name would be called, and he would be walking onto that stage alone. Everyone else had someone, whether it was a parent, a sibling, or a close relative, but his parents weren’t there.

No one had come.

Renjun swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to keep his focus.

He could do this alone. He had no choice anyway.

Then his name echoed through the microphone.

"With the highest distinction, we are proud to announce Renjun as this year's top honor student."

The applause filled the room, but it all felt distant to Renjun. His legs moved automatically as he stepped forward toward the stage, his heart pounding in his chest. Each step felt heavy, as if the gravity of the moment was pulling him down, but still, he climbed the stairs. He walked up to the school’s president, who was smiling warmly as they held out his diploma and medal.

Renjun reached out to take it, his heart racing faster with each second, but before he could grasp the diploma, another hand reached out beside him. He looked up, quite startled.

It was Jaemin’s mother.

She stood beside him with a gentle smile, her presence immediately felt warm and comforting to him. Renjun blinked once as he’s confused but then he recognized her.

He had seen her once before, and he remembered her face because she looked so much like Jaemin. It took him a second to register what was happening.

Jaemin had sent his mother to be there for him.

The crowd continued to clap, oblivious to the moment that was happening on stage, but for Renjun, time seemed to slow down. Jaemin’s mother, without a word, placed a gentle hand on Renjun’s back, guiding him forward to receive his honors. She smiled at him kindly, as if to say, that he’s not alone.

Renjun managed to smile back, though his eyes were misty. They accepted his diploma together while Jaemin’s mother took the medal from the school president and gently placed it around Renjun’s neck.

He couldn’t find the words to thank her, but as they turned to face the crowd, the audience applauding and cheering, Renjun knew he didn’t need to say anything. The gesture spoke volumes.

When they stepped down from the stage, Jaemin’s mother began to make her way back to her seat, but Renjun shyly reached out for her hand. She paused, turning to face him, her warm eyes meeting his.

“Thank you,” Renjun said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper,

Jaemin’s mother smiled softly, noticing how Renjun’s eyes were starting to glisten. She gently squeezed his arm, her touch comforting, “You’re welcome, Renjun. You did so well. Congratulations,” Her voice was calm, filled with a maternal warmth that he had rarely felt before.

Before he could say anything else, she leaned in slightly and said, “Good luck on your speech later. If you ever get lost, just look for us, okay? We’re riiight there,” She pointed discreetly to the section where she would be sitting, her finger landing on an empty seat where Jaemin’s seat was, “At don, nakaupo si Jaemin… So you’ll be okay, hm?”

He nodded shyly, still trying to process it all, as Jaemin’s mother gave him one last comforting look before heading back to the other side of the stage to go and receive Jaemin’s award this time. Renjun stood there for a moment, watching her walk away, feeling both emotional and incredibly grateful. Her kindness had turned what could have been a lonely moment into something he’d never forget.

As the program continued, Renjun was going to do his speech already. His heart pounded as he stood behind the podium with trembling hands as he gripped the edges of the stand. The microphone felt too close, it was as if everyone can hear his uneven breathing.

He wasn’t used to this, so much attention, so many eyes on him.

He cleared his throat once, then again, but the tightness in his chest didn’t go away. For a brief second, he made the mistake of looking out into the crowd, and it was worse than he imagined. Hundreds of faces stared back at him, some smiling, some expectant, but all of them focused on him. The lights felt harsh, and suddenly, the sea of unfamiliar faces felt overwhelming.

His instinct was to look for someone familiar, someone who would ground him. And even though his relationship with his parents wasn’t the closest, in moments like these, it was only natural to search for them. Renjun’s eyes scanned the crowd desperately, hoping against hope to see his mother or father, but they weren’t there.

They had never been there, not when it mattered.

His pulse quickened as panic started to rise. His grip on the stands tightened until his knuckles turned weight. He, once again, cleared his throat, trying to find his voice but nothing came.

The pressure was suffocating, and his mind began to blank.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he caught a familiar figure, Jaemin. Sitting in the audience, his face lit up with a gentle smile, Jaemin was looking straight at him. It was as if everything else disappeared in that moment, and all Renjun could see was that reassuring expression, the same one that had always been there for him.

Jaemin mouthed something, "You’ve got this. Just say the first line," he seemed to urge, just like they had practiced together.

In that instant, everything around them seemed to fade.

The crowd, the stage, the applause, and the thousands of eyes staring right at him– it just all dissolved into the background. It felt like they were back on the rooftop, just the two of them. Renjun remembered the quiet of that afternoon when he had practiced his words under the soft glow of the setting sun, and it had been Jaemin, only Jaemin, watching him.

Renjun no longer felt the crushing weight of the crowd or the stage beneath his feet.

It was just him, speaking from his heart, and Jaemin, listening… like it always had been.

Renjun blinked, his panic easing ever so slightly as he focused on Jaemin’s face. He took a deep breath, his grip on the microphone loosening as he centered himself. The anxiety didn’t vanish entirely, but with Jaemin’s silent support, it felt manageable.

He glanced back down at his script and finally opened his mouth to speak, “Good afternoon, teachers, parents, and fellow graduates…” The words came out shakily, he purses his lips together and took a deep breath once more, “I want to thank everyone who has been a part of this journey. To the teachers who believed in us and pushes us when we needed it most. To my classmates who have always been determined with passion and courage. We’ve all had moments when we thought we wouldn’t make it, but look at us now. We’re all here together.”

Renjun had to stop because of the round of applause and murmur of agreement coming from the crowd. He smiled softly, his fingers tightened slightly around the podium as he continued, “But… There’s one person I met this year who made everything bearable. Let’s just say… That person gave me strength when I didn’t think I had any left and every day feel a little brighter because of them,” he finally looks up from his script, his eyes immediately locking into Jaemin’s, “Sometimes, you meet people who come into your life unexpectedly… But they may end up changing everything. And I’m extremely grateful for that.”

Renjun, once again, smiled to himself, a bit of playfulness coming through the serious tone of his speech, as he’s finally adjusted to the pressure of being speaking in front of thousands of people, “And, of course,” he began, “I can’t forget to mention the fact that, for the first time in my life, I actually found out what canteen food tasted like this year.”

There was a light chuckle from the audience, and Renjun’s smile grew as he continued, “I never thought I’d be the type to eat food from the carts outside the school, but, well… someone persisted. Let’s just say I’m a changed man now. I finally understand the magic of fishballs, kwek-kwek, and ice scramble.”

The laughter grew, filling the room with a sense of warmth and connection. Renjun could feel Jaemin’s amused gaze on him from the audience, and he gave a subtle nod, knowing that Jaemin was probably grinning from ear to ear.

“So, for all the life lessons I’ve learned this year… I want to say thank you,” Renjun’s eyes softened as he spoke, he then looked out at everyone once more, before concluding, “This year wouldn’t have been the same without all of you. Thank you for everything.”

After his heartfelt speech and a few more speeches from the heads of their school, the final moments of the ceremony approached, now with everyone standing as the anticipation of announcing for the tassel turn and hat toss neared. Renjun was momentarily lost in thought, finally sinking into him that, only a few minutes away, he finally graduated.

Suddenly, he felt someone move closer, almost brushing against his side. He was a bit startled as he turned his head, and there was Jaemin, standing right next to him, a playful but soft expression on his face.

Before Renjun could say anything, the loud voice of the ceremony’s host echoed through the hall.

“And now, graduates, you may turn your tassels!”

A wave of cheers erupted from the crowd. Renjun, his heart pounding, reached up to his tassel, and in unison with the rest of the graduates, moved it to the other side. He glanced at Jaemin, who was doing the same, and for a brief second, their eyes locked.

A sense of pure, genuine happiness surged through Renjun’s chest. He had made it. They had made it. All the hard work, the late nights, the ups and downs—it was all worth it. And standing beside him, Jaemin was grinning from ear to ear.

The noise of the crowd, the flurry of movement as hats were raised, and cheers filled the hall, but to Renjun, it was all background as Jaemin was smiling at him, truly happy, and Renjun couldn’t help but mirror that smile, feeling an overwhelming warmth bloom in his heart.

They were both standing in that sea of students, surrounded by celebration, but at that moment, it felt like it was just the two of them again– two boys who had made it through together, side by side. Renjun's happiness was as real as it had ever been, and seeing Jaemin beaming so joyfully only made it stronger.

As the hats were thrown into the air, Renjun joined in, sharing a laugh with Jaemin and for once, he finally allowed himself to be present in the moment.

The final notes of the graduation ceremony echoed through the hall, Jaemin turned to Renjun, his eyes sparkling with genuine happiness. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around Renjun in a warm, tight hug, “Congratulations, Renjun!” Jaemin’s voice was filled with genuine happiness, “You did amazing up there.”

Renjun’s face lit up with a smile as he hugged Jaemin back, “Thank you, Jaemin… Congrats din sa’yo,” he replied, his voice slightly muffled against Jaemin’s shoulder.

When they finally pulled away, Jaemin’s eyes twinkled with excitement, as he kept Renjun’s hand in his, “Halika, pakilala kita kela mama,” he said before leading Renjun through the crowd towards the area where his parents were waiting.

Jaemin’s mother and father were chatting, but as they approached, they turned their attention to them. Jaemin’s mother’s eyes widened slightly with warmth when she saw Renjun, her smile softening with genuine affection.

“Ma, Pa, si Renjun po,” Jaemin said, his voice laced with fondness, “Renjun, si mama at si papa.”

Jaemin’s mother flashes him a smile and takes a few steps forward to briefly give Renjun a hug, “Kanina ko pa gusto sabihin sa’yo na lagiii kang kinekwento sa’amin ni Jaemin.”

Renjun hugged her back as well and chuckled shyly, “Thank you po pala ulit kanina…” he said, in which Jaemin’s mom replied with a soft chuckle saying it was fine and she only did what she could in that moment.

Jaemin’s father nodded at him followed with a pat on the shoulder, squeezing it gently, “Congratulations.”

Jaemin’s mother then clapped her hands together, “Picture kayong dalawa, dali,” She pulled out her phone before either of them could object.

Jaemin then stood beside Renjun as his mom held up her phone. They stood there shoulder to shoulder, both of them flashing a small and shy smile on their faces. Jaemin’s mom laughed softly as she captured the shot.

After that, she looked at Renjun and asked, “So, Renjun, what are your plans after the ceremony? Will you be joining us for any celebrations, or do you have somewhere else to be?”

Renjun was reluctant for a bit, the question seemed to bring him back to “reality.” He forced a smile and replied, “Oh, I think I’ll just head home po after this. My parents might be back by now, so I should probably check in with them po…”

Jaemin’s mother nodded understandingly, though a hint of concern flashed across her face, “I see. Well, I hope you have a nice evening regardless, okay? It’s your special day.”

Jaemin glanced at Renjun, he could sense that Renjun was hiding something, but he didn’t press any further. Instead, he squeezed Renjun’s shoulder reassuringly.

As the conversation continued, Renjun can’t help but feel touched by the kindness of Jaemin’s family but still, he couldn’t shake the loneliness he felt knowing his own parents were so far away.

The ceremony started to wound down, Renjun had made his way to where his driver was waiting. Renjun could still feel the rush of adrenaline coursing through him as he made his way to where his driver was waiting. He slid into the backseat of the car after being greeted by his driver with a soft ‘Congratulations’ and a genuine smile plastered on his face.

The car then pulled away, Renjun took out his phone, a smile still on his lips as he saw a notification from Jaemin.

Jaemin – Classmate: pauwi ka na
?

Renjun: Mhm, just left the venue.
Ikaw?

Jaemin – Classmate: etooo, pinipicturan pa ako nila mama D:

Renjun: Haha
You did just graduate. You gotta get used to it.

Jaemin – Classmate: AH speaking of picturessss
[Jaemin sends a picture of them together, the one his mother had just taken]
quite unfair kung ako lang may copy nito

Renjun: Thanks haha :)
Go now, you don’t wanna look like someone who’s just on their phone after they just graduated.

Jaemin – Classmate: iniwan mo ako eh :/

Renjun: Haha well sorry [shrug]
Enjoy your day, Jaemin :)

Jaemin – Classmate: hey

Renjun: Yeah?

Jaemin – Classmate: bukas na ba alis mo?

Renjun: I honestly don’t know
Maybe? Or not?
This week.

Jaemin – Classmate: alis tayo bukas
wag ka muna umalis hahah
andyan lang naman america, di naman aalis yon

Renjun: I don’t make the decisions, Jaemin… Sorry.
But I’ll let you know, okay?

Jaemin: fine :(
i gotta go now :((
message ulit kita mamaya!

Renjun: Okay :)

The car ride was quiet, as always, but Renjun’s driver was obviously way too over the clouds, as he was always glancing at Renjun through the rearview mirror. He must say, he is very proud of him, Renjun is almost like his son already at this point.

The car then slowly approached the driveway, Renjun immediately spotted his father's car parked in the driveway.

As always, he hadn't expected his father to be there. He hopped off of the car and walked up the steps with his toga draped over his arm and his graduation cap, diploma, and medal in hand.

He pushed open the front door and saw his father seated at the dining table, engrossed in his laptop.

Renjun hesitated for a moment before stepping forward, "...I didn’t expect you to be here."

His father looked up from the screen, "Oh, I got home earlier than I thought I would," he replied casually.

Renjun took a deep breath, feeling quite nervous… Too nervous, actually. As a teenager seeking validation, he felt this moment was important. And so he walked over to his father and carefully placed his diploma and medal on the table, "I wanted to show you something," he said.

His father looked down at the items, raising an eyebrow in mild interest, "What’s this?"

"I graduated with highest honors," Renjun then added, "I’m the highest performing student in my batch," he reiterated.

There was a brief silence as his father examined the diploma and medal. Renjun watched closely, hoping for some sign of recognition or pride but his father’s expression remained impassive, but he nodded slightly, "That’s quite an achievement, Renjun. Congratulations."

He had hoped for more, but the acknowledgment was a small victory.

As his father returned to his laptop, Renjun took a deep breath once more, took his things and turned to leave to his bedroom to change and to rest until dinner was ready.

Then dinner came, Renjun once again descended the stairs. His father is still at the dining table, now with a lot of papers spread in front of him.

The house was quiet except for the occasional clinking of dishes being prepared for dinner by their maid. Renjun slowly approached the table, hoping that the achievements he had shown his father might soften the conversation ahead.

“Dad,” Renjun said, taking a seat across from him.

“Hm?” his father replied without even looking up.

Renjun swallowed as if preparing himself for what he was about to say next, “Since I’ve achieved that… I was thinking… maybe I could, you know… stay here in the Philippines for college,” His words came out slow, “I could study at a good school here.”

His father’s brows furrowed in a frown, placing the papers down on the table, “What do you mean, staying here? We’ve already made all the connections and preparations for you to go to the States. It’s not just a matter of your choice now.”

Renjun’s heart sank as he saw the disappointment in his father’s eyes, “B-But I’ve been thinking that maybe staying here is better for me. I feel like I could do well here and be closer to home.”

His father’s expression shifted to frustration. He scoffed slightly and said, “Unbelievable. After everything we’ve done? We pulled every string, used every connection and made all arrangements to get you into the States and all you have to do is focus on the entrance exams and now you’re telling me you want to stay here? You’re being ungrateful, Renjun.”

Ungrateful?

…That’s already being ungrateful…?

Renjun’s face flushed with embarrassment and frustration as well. He was about to speak up when his dad beat him to it, “You think a diploma and some fancy title like highest honors matter? It’s nothing once you get to college, Renjun. And you’re throwing away opportunities we worked hard for."

“I didn’t…” Renjun muttered quietly as he kept his eyes glued on the table, not daring to look at his dad, “I didn’t ask for that… I just want to make a decision that’s right for me. It’s not what I wanted; it’s what you and mom decided…”

The argument with his father escalated as he snapped, “What did you say?” He grabbed Renjun’s diploma from the table, waving it mockingly in front of him, “You think this makes you something? You think this changes anything? You’re not even in college yet, and you’re already so proud of yourself. How long do you think this will matter?”

Renjun’s anxiety and frustration manifested in an all-too-familiar habit. He digs his nails into his palm then he starts to pick at the edges of his nails, the more Renjun felt cornered and helpless, the more he unconsciously dug at his nails.

His fingers trembled slightly as he picked at the delicate skin, and soon, the slight sting of blood began to surface.

“Look at you,” his father added when he noticed Renjun staying silent, “All this pride over a title that doesn’t even matter in the grand scheme of things. Do you think this will make any difference in your future?”

Renjun flinched at the harshness of his father’s words. His fingers continued to pick at his nails, his hands were shaking, and he struggled to keep his voice steady, “I just wanted–”

“Wanted what?” his father cut him off, “To throw away all the plans we’ve made for you? Huh?”

Renjun’s eyes darted to his hands, noticing the red stains against his pale skin. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional ache he felt, but it was a stark reminder of his mounting frustration. He tried to focus on the argument, but the sting from his fingers was becoming increasingly distracting, “No… No, it’s not- I didn’t mean to make it seem like… I don’t…” Renjun started to tumble with his words, his mind was already in shambles, “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to say all that…” Seeing the blood on his hands made him feel even more vulnerable, and he clenched his fists, trying to stop the picking and hide his discomfort. He knew it was a bad habit, but in moments like these, he couldn’t help but give in.

There was only silence that followed, Renjun felt suffocated inside the house and so, without thinking twice, he grabbed the only jacket hanging on the coat rack and headed outside of the house.

His feet instinctively taking him to the park a few blocks away. The streets were empty, the sky is low and it seemed dark as the rain threatened to fall anytime soon.

As he reached the park, he sits down on the bench and leans against the backrest of it. He sat down, leaned down with his elbows resting on his thighs as he lets out a long, heavy, and shaky sigh.

The sky rumbled softly above, warning of the downpour that was sure to come any moment now. It was like the sky was also having the same emotions as Renjun.

Renjun looks at his fingers peeking out of the jacket’s sleeves, noticing the tip of his thumb badly injured because of his bad habit of nail picking. He quickly hides his thumb into his palm as he leaned back, staring up at the sky. He closed his eyes and felt the first drop of rain land softly on his cheek, but he didn’t dare to move.

It only took a few more seconds before the rain started to slowly pour down. He flutters his eyes open and allows the rain to hit his face. Then it fell harder, drenching him almost completely.

Yet he still didn’t move.

He didn’t shield himself from the downpour.

He welcomed it.

The cold and heavy droplets of the rain brought numbness to him. Like a form of detachment from the pain that had been consuming him.

He looked up, allowing the rain to hit his face, his eyes closing to fully embrace the sensation. The rain fell harder, drenching him completely. He didn’t move, didn’t try to shield himself from the downpour. Instead, he welcomed it, feeling the icy drops cascade over him.

The rain brought with it a numbness, a detachment from the pain and frustration that had been consuming him. It was as if the water was washing away not just the physical discomfort but the emotional burden that had weighed so heavily on him.

He brought his hand up to wipe his face, using the wet sleeve of his jacket to brush away the water dripping down his cheeks and when he did, the scent that the jacket gave off caught him off guard.

He paused for a moment before deeply inhaling the scent from the jacket– and it wasn’t just any jacket… This was Jaemin’s.

The one he accidentally brought home just because Jaemin offered it to him when he was feeling cold when they were studying in the library.

Renjun’s lips turned into a bittersweet smile, gripping the jacket a bit tighter than before. Now his thoughts drifted solely to Jaemin.

And how much he wished he could have him by his side right now.

Just the idea… of seeing him right now…

Feels very… warm.

Without fully realizing it, Renjun stood up from the bench with his soaked clothes uncomfortably clinging to him and started to walk towards where Jaemin’s street house is.

The rain poured harder, drenching him even more but it didn’t really bother him, it actually felt like that the path to Jaemin’s house is so clear despite having unsteady steps and even almost slipping on the wet ground.

And then…

He felt something hot? Hot trailing down his cheeks.

His steps then came to a halt as he finally realized that he was crying.

His vision once again blurred slightly, he instinctively lifted his hand to his face, wiping away the tears. He then stares at his hands in confusion and blinks hard as he tries to clear his vision, trying to figure out why he was breaking down like this.

Why am I crying…?

I’m on my way to see Jaemin… It’s supposed to make me feel better, right?

I’m so close to the one person who I know will make me feel safe.

…Then why am I crying like this?

Suddenly a loud crack of thunder ripped through the air, snapping Renjun back to reality. The rain poured down harder, almost as if the sky itself was in a rush to flood the streets. Renjun looks around and started to move once more.

Step after step.

Even though his body was exhausted with his wet clothes heavily clinging to him.

But Jaemin’s house is so close. He had to reach it. And that was what mattered.

But when Renjun finally stood in front of Jaemin’s house with the rain still pouring down heavily around him.

He started to question his decision to come here.

Maybe he’d looked foolish to seek solace from Jaemin when his own house was so close.

Right… They may be celebrating right now…

Maybe he should have just gone back and found whatever way to cope with his pain alone.

Before Renjun could even turn away and make his way back to his house, someone swung the door open. It was Jaemin’s mother, who had her eyes widened in concern, seeing Renjun so soaked and shivering on her doorstep.

Without any hesitation, she hurried outside while holding an umbrella to shield the both of them from the relentless downpour, “Pasok ka, Renjun,” she gently said, “Basang basa ka…”

Renjun, by now, is feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally drained and could only weakly nod. He allowed her to guide him into the house, before he stepped inside, he quickly took off the jacket as he didn’t want to soak their living room.

Jaemin’s mother took it from him and led him to a dry spot inside, before offering him a towel which he accepted in silence.

As he stood there, wrapped in a towel and shivering slightly despite the warmth that filled Jaemin’s living room. His wet hair dripped onto the floor, but he barely noticed it.

The house felt so different from his own– warm in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature. His eyes then wandered and noticed that there were framed family photos on the walls, each one looking so genuine, full of smiles and laughter. There even were decorations on the shelves. The house felt it was… lived in, like a place where love and care was shared all throughout.

Jaemin’s mother swiftly moved to the kitchen, her concern evident in her expression as she glanced back at Renjun, “Renjun, upo ka lang dyan, anak, I’ll make you something warm to drink.”

Anak.

Renjun tried to brush it off as he lowered himself onto the chair but he wasn’t sure why something about being called ’anak’ by someone who isn’t even his mother felt overwhelming.

His eyes stung, and before he could stop himself, tears started to fill them. He quickly wiped his face with the back of his palm, trying to keep it together, but it was no use.

That word felt like something he’d been longing to hear, something he never got at home. He blinked back the tears, hoping Jaemin’s mom wouldn’t notice, but inside, he was falling apart.

Jaemin, on the other hand, emerged from his room the moment his mom called out to him. His eyes widened in shock when he saw Renjun sitting there, drenched and visibly shivering. Jaemin’s heart physically ached at the sight of Renjun’s trembling and without a word, he moved towards him and gently sank to his knees in front of Renjun, taking his cold, damp hands into his warm ones.

He couldn't wrap his head around how someone he cared for so deeply could end up like this.

Renjun looked down, meeting Jaemin’s eyes. Jaemin didn't say anything, he just kept caressing Renjun’s hands, cupping them and gently rubbing their hands together, in hopes of warming him up.

Jaemin’s mother returned from the kitchen with a steaming cup of home-made tea in her hands. She offered it to Renjun, who gently pulls his hands away from Jaemin’s grip, taking the warm cup from her, “Jaemin, akyat mo na si Renjun sa kwarto mo para makapag palit siya,” she soft said as she gave Renjun’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, “Sige na, mga anak, baka magka sakit pa si Renjun.”

Renjun hesitated, once again feeling overwhelmed, “I-I should just go home,” he said.

But Jaemin’s mother cut him off with a firm yet gentle tone, “Hindi, Renjun, it’s not safe. Ang lakas ng ulan...”

Jaemin, who had remained silently by Renjun’s side, took the initiative. He gestured for Renjun to follow him, “Halika,” he said softly, guiding Renjun towards the stairs.

As they reached Jaemin’s room, Jaemin opened the door and gestured for Renjun to enter. The room was cozy, with warm light emanating from a bedside lamp, casting a gentle glow over everything.

“Upo ka muna dito,” Jaemin instructed gently, pulling out a chair from his study table. Renjun complied, sitting on the chair with slow and tired movements. Jaemin then quickly retrieved a set of fresh clothes from his closet, which he handed to Renjun, “Here, change into these. Ayon ‘yung CR,” he said, pointing to the bathroom.

Renjun took the clothes, his fingers still trembling slightly, and headed to the bathroom and when Renjun emerged from the bathroom, freshly changed into the warm and much larger clothes Jaemin had provided.

He then saw that Jaemin was waiting for him with a soft smile on his face. He walked over to Renjun and draped his jacket over Renjun's shoulders, helping him put it on, “Dito ka na matulog,” he suggested with a soft tone, zipping the jacket up slowly, “You don’t need to be alone right now.”

Renjun clears his throat as he feels his face heat up, realizing how close they are right now, in Jaemin’s room, “I have your other jacket pala-”

“Keep it,” Jaemin almost immediately said, “Sa’yo na ‘yon… and honestly, you could take anything from me, I don’t mind.”

Renjun looked up at him and before he could protest, Jaemin guided him to sit on the bed and was about to hand him extra blankets when he noticed Renjun’s thumb. The skin was slightly bloody due to Renjun’s anxious habit of picking at his nails.

Jaemin looked at him with concern, “Let me take care of that,” he said quietly.

He retrieved a bandage from his drawer and carefully sat beside Renjun on the bed. Jaemin gently takes Renjun’s hand in his and when he did, Renjun tried to pull his hand away, feeling a little embarrassed but Jaemin held it firmly, “Jaemin, you don’t have to…”

Jaemin seemed to didn’t hear what Renjun said as he wrapped a small bandage around Renjun’s thumb all while Renjun watched him with gratitude, thinking how can someone care so much for him like that?

That feeling confused him, it was a kind of care he wasn’t used to. But with Jaemin… It seemed like taking care of Renjun is the simplest and most natural thing in the world.

“‘Yan… Try not to pick at it anymore,” he softly said, keeping Renjun’s hand in his as he caressed his thumb.

Renjun nodded, as he looked down at their hands, “Thank you, Jaemin… For everything.”

Jaemin just smiled, looking into Renjun’s eyes and scanning his face as if he’s memorizing every beautiful feature he has, “You don’t have to thank me…” he said softly, “I’m just glad I could be here for you.”

-

Renjun is laying on Jaemin's bed, covered with Jaemin’s clothes and Jaemin’s jacket while Jaemin, himself, had made a space on the floor, propped up with a pillow and a blanket, to give Renjun space while still being close.

The room was quiet, the only sound was the soft ticking of the clock on the wall, each tick can be clearly heard as the room is very still and quiet.

But after a while, Jaemin broke the silence, “Renjun?” he called gently.

Renjun stirred slightly, his voice barely audible, “Yeah?”

“Is it okay if I ask you something?”

There was a pause.

“...Go ahead,” Renjun answered.

Jaemin took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he spoke, “What… happened earlier?”

Renjun's response was a low and mocking chuckle, “Family happened,” he said, the words came out almost like a whisper.

Jaemin could hear the pain in Renjun’s voice, the way he tried to laugh off his own hurt. It wasn’t just the words that cut through, but the way Renjun brushed past his own pain, almost as if he’s mocking it, Jaemin had come to recognize how Renjun truly is and how he felt when they’re not together but he just never wanted to push too hard on him.

They fell into silence once more. Jaemin stayed on the floor, not moving, just being there, offering his presence as comfort, knowing Renjun didn’t need more questions or answers right now.

Jaemin then eventually shifted and sat up with his arm resting on the edge of the bed, his chin propped against it. He looked at Renjun, who now has his back facing him, “Renjun,” Jaemin called out softly, breaking the silence once more.

Renjun then slowly turned around to face him, he saw Jaemin looking at him which made him chuckle softly, as he tucks his arm under his head, “Can’t sleep?” Renjun asked.

Jaemin shook his head slightly, “I can’t.”

Renjun’s response was almost automatic, “Me neither.”

Jaemin’s gaze softened, and he reached out, gently taking Renjun’s hand in his own. He traced Renjun’s knuckles with his fingers and when he reached Renjun’s wounded thumb, he paused, carefully caressing the area.

Renjun watched as Jaemin’s touch moved over his hand, he could feel the warmness of his hand in contrast to the chill that had seeped into him from the rain. Jaemin didn’t speak but he didn’t need to… His actions were enough– gentle, patient, and full of affection.

“...I’m sorry if this isn’t the kind of sleepover you wanted…” Renjun said.

Jaemin shakes his head, “I told you, inaantay lang kita pumunta dito,” he said softly, chuckling, hoping to ease the tension in the air, “What can I do para makatulog ka, hm?”

Renjun slightly shrugged, “Just talk to me?”

Jaemin nods, keeping his hand cupping Renjun’s, “Then… Let me ask you something again…”

“Hm?”

“Is it…” Jaemin breathed out a bit, looking into Renjun’s eyes as he squeezed his hand, “Is it too late to ask you to stay?”

“I’m already staying the night…”

“I meant… Forever,” Jaemin smiles, bittersweet, “Don’t leave… Sabay tayo mag college… Sabay tayo mag hanap ng trabaho… Sabay tayo tatanda,” Jaemin said, “Is it too late for that?”

Renjun didn’t respond right away, then he felt Jaemin’s hand on his face, gentle and warm, cupping his cheek. His thumb brushed softly against Renjun’s skin and instinctively, Renjun leaned into the touch, closing his eyes for a moment.

“If I’d met you earlier,” Jaemin continued, “Maybe things would be different. Maybe I could have had more time with you. Maybe…” His voice faltered, but he continued on, “Maybe I wouldn’t have to face losing you now.”

Renjun wanted to badly say something, but all he could manage was a quiet, “Sorry.”

As they talked, mostly it was Jaemin, their voices grew quieter and sleepiness began to overtake them and as he glanced at Renjun, he notices that he was also struggling to stay awake, “Renjun,” he called out softly, “...When you leave in the morning… Please don’t just go without saying goodbye.”

Renjun smiled slightly despite feeling very sleepy, “Oo naman…”

Jaemin then continued to caress Renjun’s hand, “And… Pwede ba sumama sa airport? I’d love to be there with you.”

Renjun thought for a while, letting out a soft hum, “I’ll message you… but I’d like that too.”

Jaemin nodded, a small and contented smile on his face, “Okay,” he said softly before cupping Renjun’s cheek once more, letting his thumb glide gently over Renjun’s slightly swollen eyes, “Tulog ka na…”

Renjun nodded, his eyes fluttering closed, “What about you? Aren’t you sleepy too?”

“I am… Pero I’ll wait for you to go to sleep,” Jaemin whispered softly, his cheek now resting on his arm as he kept his gaze locked on Renjun.

With that, they both settled into a comfortable silence, the exhaustion of the day catching up with them. Renjun had already drifted off to sleep and Jaemin just watched him- or rather, admired him as he was sleeping. Jaemin then lays on the floor beside Renjun’s bed, and though the room was quiet except for the faint ticking of the clock, the distant sound of rain, and the soft snores coming out of Renjun, there was a sense of calm.

-

The next morning, Jaemin awoke with a start, his heart pounding as he noticed the bed beside him was empty. Panic surged through him, and he scrambled to his feet, rushing downstairs.

As he reached the dining area, he saw Renjun sitting at the table with Jaemin's parents, sharing breakfast together. Jaemin let out a sigh of relief, his tense shoulders relaxing as he took in the sight. Renjun looked calm and composed, enjoying the meal with a faint smile.

“Good morning,” Jaemin said as he joined them at the table.

Renjun glanced up, a soft smile on his face, “Good morning,” he replied, “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Jaemin shook his head, “No, it’s fine. You didn’t.”

They shared a quick breakfast, the conversation light and filled with small talk. Jaemin’s parents were friendly and engaged, clearly enjoying Renjun’s company. Jaemin couldn’t help but notice how comfortable Renjun seemed.

After breakfast, Renjun turned to Jaemin, “I… have to head home now,” he said, standing up and collecting his clothes that Jaemin’s mother successfully dried up early in the morning, “I’ll return your clothes-”

Jaemin shook his head and said, “Keep it… and let me walk you home at least.”

Renjun hesitated at first but he nodded and chuckled softly, “Okay,” he said, knowing it was the last time they would be walking side by side together.

The walk home was quiet… It was quiet but it was comfortable too, they both probably already realized it that they didn’t need to talk to keep each other’s company. They just need each other.

When they finally reached the front gate to Renjun’s house, Jaemin stopped and reminded Renjun, “Message me before you leave for the airport, okay?”.

“I will,” Renjun assured him, “Thank you for everything, Jaemin… I really really appreciate it.”

Jaemin nodded, watching as Renjun began his walk up to his door, feeling the distance between them stretch with every step. Just before disappearing inside, Renjun glanced back one more time, giving Jaemin a small, reassuring wave.

-

As the afternoon sun began its descent, Jaemin’s phone buzzed with a new message. He almost immediately picked it up and saw a text from Renjun:

Renjun: Jaemin.
My dad won’t be too pleased to see anyone else with us at the airport.
It might be best if you just take a taxi there.
If you still want to come…

Jaemin read the message twice and quickly replied:

Jaemin: okay lang
ill go now then :)

Renjun: Okay…
Be careful on your way :)

Jaemin, without a doubt, had walked outside and made his way to where some taxis usually drive by. One he hailed one, he climbed into the vehicle and took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the moment ahead.

The drive to the airport was quicker than he expected. The city was unusually quiet that day; there was barely any traffic to slow him down and as soon as the taxi pulled up to the terminal, Jaemin paid the driver and got out, he then found a bench near a pillar and sat down, pulling out his phone.

He typed a quick message to Renjun:
Jaemin: sa airport na ako
san ka?

Renjun: We’re almost there.
I’ll go meet you before I go in.

Jaemin glanced around, trying to spot Renjun amidst the crowd. The anticipation was palpable, and he could hardly sit still. His eyes darted to the sleek black car that had just pulled up to the drop-off area. As the door opened, Jaemin saw Renjun step out, dressed in his travel attire.

Jaemin's gaze shifted to the man beside Renjun—his father. Jaemin instantly recognized him as a renowned businessman he’d seen in news articles and on television. His presence felt almost intimidating, every step calculated and smooth, like someone used to being in control.

Renjun and his father moved towards the terminal entrance. Jaemin watched as Renjun turned to his father and whispered something, there was a brief pause before his father nodded with an unreadable expression, and headed into the entrance, disappearing among the crowd.

Jaemin stood up, feeling his heart racing, as he’s unable to take his eyes off Renjun, who was looking around until their eyes locked. Jaemin raised his hand and waved. Renjun's face lit up before making his way toward Jaemin, making sure his father was well out of sight.

Renjun approached Jaemin, “Hey,” he said quietly, a small, tired smile playing on his lips.

“Hey,” Jaemin replied, his hand immediately reaching out for Renjun’s.

Without wasting a second, Renjun wrapped his arms around Jaemin and buried his face onto his shoulder. Jaemin did the same, enveloping him in a hug as well.

The hug was tight, almost desperate, like neither of them wanted to let go.

For Jaemin, it felt like trying to hold onto something slipping away too fast, his grip tightening as if it could make Renjun stay just a little longer.

For Renjun, the hug was a mix of comfort and pain. Being in Jaemin’s arms felt like home, a safe place in the middle of all the chaos, but at the same time, it reminded him that this was goodbye. He clung to Jaemin, his hands trembling slightly, trying to memorize the warmth, the steadiness of Jaemin’s heartbeat, knowing this might be the last time he'd feel it for a while.

“You don’t have to leave…” Jaemin said softly.

Renjun flutters his eyes closed as he breathes in Jaemin’s scent, “I also don’t want to leave…”

“Isn’t there any way you can stay? Is it too late to just… run away now? We could just leave together.”

Renjun slightly pulled back just to look at Jaemin, “I really want to, Jaemin…”

“Then stay here, with me. We could find a way.”

Renjun felt the tears begin to blur his vision, his chest tightening as he tried to hold it all in. But despite his efforts, the tears slipped down his cheeks. Jaemin noticed immediately, his expression softening as he reached up and gently cupped Renjun’s face.

“Hey,” Jaemin whispered, his thumb brushing away the tears with such care, “Hey… Don’t cry, please.”

Renjun blinked, more tears threatening to fall as he tried to control his breathing. He didn’t want to cry, didn’t want to make it harder than it already was, but the reality of their parting made it impossible to stop.

“I don’t want the last time I see you to be like this,” Jaemin added quietly, his voice cracking ever so slightly as he continued to wipe Renjun’s tears, "Not with you crying."

Renjun closed his eyes, leaning into Jaemin’s touch, “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

Renjun’s breath hitched as he tried to steady himself. His hand instinctively rose to his face, swiping at the tears that Jaemin hadn’t yet wiped away. He rubbed at his eyes, as if willing the tears to stop, but the more he tried, the harder it became to hold it all in.

Jaemin took a deep breath and said, “Please, promise me you’ll stay in touch, okay? Kung makakabalik ka kaagad dito, sabihan mo ako… I want to know everything about you, and I’ll try to visit you whenever I can.”

Renjun looked at Jaemin and nodded, “I promise I’ll contact you,” he breathed in and added, “You mean so much to me… Jaemin.”

After a few moments, they ended up sitting on the bench, chatting away in soft and quiet voices but as the airport’s announcement echoed through the terminal, their conversation drew to a close. Jaemin stood up once more and pulled Renjun into a final embrace.

I’ll tell him…

Bahala na.

“Renjun,” Jaemin whispered, “May sasabihin ako and just… Let me be selfish kahit ngayon lang…”

Renjun looked up at him as Jaemin gently cupped his face with his hands, his thumbs brushing away the wetness from Renjun's cheeks.

“I like you,” Jaemin confessed softly, “I really like you at ayokong umalis dito na hindi nasasabi sa’yo ‘yon.”

Before Renjun could respond, Jaemin pressed a soft, tender kiss to Renjun’s forehead. The kiss was light, full of affection and longing, and it lingered for a moment longer than necessary. Jaemin’s fingers traced along Renjun’s cheekbones as he pulled away.

Renjun’s eyes fluttered shut, overwhelmed by the surge of emotions. His heart pounded painfully in his chest, and he fought to keep his composure, “Jaemin…” Renjun began, but his voice wavered. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

Jaemin looked into Renjun’s eyes, “You don’t have to say anything. Just… remember that I care about you, a lot. And… I’m going to miss you.”

Renjun nodded, a single tear slipping down his cheek. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to hold back the wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. The pain of leaving Jaemin, of parting ways with someone who had become so important, was almost unbearable.

Jaemin’s arms wrapped around Renjun once more, holding him close. They stayed like that for a few moments and as they pulled away, Renjun took a deep breath, trying to compose himself as Jaemin flashed him one last, heartfelt smile.

“I’ll miss you, Jaemin,” Renjun said softly.

“I’ll miss you too,” Jaemin replied, trying to keep his voice steady despite the tears brimming in his eyes, “Stay safe, hm? Kain ka ng maayos, take care of yourself, okay? Message me if you need anything, kung kailangan mo ng kasama mag-aral just tell me, mag video call tayo...”

Renjun nodded, chuckling slightly. The both of them pulled away having to hear the announcement one more time. Renjun slowly started to walk away from Jaemin, walking backwards carefully before turning his back on him and towards the gate. He then glanced back one last time, finding solace in Jaemin’s unwavering gaze.

Jaemin watched as Renjun disappeared beyond the security check, something felt so heavy in his chest. He sank into a bench outside the terminal, his mind racing as the sounds of the airport, there were distant announcements, the hum of rolling luggages and the roar of departing planes filled the air.

Jaemin pulled out his phone with a deep sigh and composed a message to Renjun, stating exactly what he had just said a few moments ago. Eat well. Sleep on time. Take care and message me.

When he hit send though, the message failed though, the notification indicating that the message couldn’t be delivered due to Renjun’s phone being offline. Jaemin understood, of course. Renjun was on an airplane now, and he would be out of reach for a while.

Jaemin just sat there as he felt an overwhelming emptiness. The liveliness that Renjun had always brought into his world was gone, leaving a void that seemed impossible to fill. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something crucial was missing, like a piece of himself had been taken away and he didn’t know how to get it back.

The idea that tomorrow, and every day after, would be spent without Renjun’s presence was both surreal and heartbreaking.

Jaemin leaned back against the bench, closing his eyes for a moment as he tried to steady his emotions. The sound of the planes taking off was his focus now, it was like a reminder of the reality that Renjun was truly leaving.

Deep inside him, he hoped that Renjun would stay true to his word, that he’d keep in contact and let him be a part of his life, even from afar.

Jaemin took a deep breath, trying to hold onto hope instead of sinking into the emptiness. He needed to believe that what they had could survive the distance and that they wouldn’t fade just because Renjun wasn’t by his side.

He told himself to be patient, to wait for the messages, and the calls, and to find comfort in the moments they had shared.

It was a painful goodbye, but he knew that their story wasn’t over.

…Not yet at least.

But after that, days turned into week and weeks into months.

There was nothing.

It was like… Renjun just disappeared.

Jaemin found himself checking his phone more often than he cared to admit, his heart sinking every time he saw there were no new messages from Renjun. He tried to hold onto hope, clinging to the promises they had made, but each passing day seemed to lessen that hope a little more.

Jaemin reached out in every way he could think of; texts, emails, even reaching out to mutual friends who might have information about Renjun’s whereabouts. Each attempt was a failure, again… as if Renjun had vanished without a trace. The unanswered messages piled up.

Every notification on Jaemin’s phone became a cruel reminder of what wasn’t there. Messages from friends, updates, and news would pop up, but none from the one person he longed to hear from. He replayed their last conversation over and over, clinging to every word as if something might change.

Time passed and Jaemin went through the motions of his daily life, but the absence of Renjun was like a weight he couldn’t shake. His friends noticed the change in him, the way his laughter no longer came as easily, how his eyes seemed to search for something, or someone, that wasn’t there.

Jaemin tried to move forward, holding onto the memories they had created and the feelings they had shared. But he still couldn’t help but feel that Renjun had quietly slipped away, leaving a void behind.

The world continued to spin.

Life moved on.

But Jaemin’s heart stayed to that fleeting moment in time when everything had seemed so full of possibility.

Jaemin is sitting on the bench by the playground, where he and Renjun would often stay before Jaemin walked him home. The air felt cold, it’s that kind of air that usually came before a storm.

He looked around at the swings gently swaying in the breeze, the empty slides, and the silence that now filled the space where their laughter used to echo all throughout the neighborhood.

What Jaemin didn’t know, what he couldn’t have known, was that this was the very same bench Renjun had sat on when the rain came down hard that night– when Renjun had been breaking down, alone, soaked in the downpour. Renjun had been falling apart right here, and Jaemin had no idea.

Jaemin leaned back, looking up at the cloudy sky which seemed emptier than ever without Renjun.

The stars that once glittered with a promise of hope and endless possibilities now appeared so dull and distant, their light seemingly failing to touch the night, barely cutting through the darkness that had settled over Jaemin’s heart.

Maybe if he had become more persistent to him, maybe if he had been nosier, maybe if he had done something or asked more about his family… Maybe things would have been different.

Maybe Renjun didn’t leave with so much hurt and emptiness in his eyes.

Maybe Jaemin could’ve been Renjun’s only reason to be genuinely happy.

Maybe… he would have been enough for Renjun to stay.

If only I begged for him to stay…

Maybe we would’ve been together right now, watching the beautiful night sky.

Or it would just be him admiring the moon…

While I watch him admiring the moon, gushing over how pretty he is, and reminding him how important he is to me.

And at 17 years old…

He realized that it was okay to love the boy who prefers homecooked meals, loves eating sorbetes, fishballs, kwek-kwek and other street foods after school.

It was okay to love the boy who listens to Chopin, Beethoven, Debussy, Tchaikovsky, and Max Richter.

It was okay to love him...

But also at 17, Jaemin had his first heartbreak.