Chapter Text
The tip of the pen scratches at the smooth blank paper, delicate hands move diligently sketching the fading strands of a young girl’s hair. Pei Xenia doesn’t look up to look at her, nor does she look at her plush pink lips or her fluttering lashes that seem to tease her. She doesn’t look up, not when she has all those features committed to memory.
Pei Xenia’s vision of the paper is overshadowed, her hand turning rigid as she immediately scrunches the paper. She tilts her head up to see Liu Zhichuan. Her eyes narrow, “What.” She asks, sounding more like a statement.
Liu Zhichuan leans towards her, grinning wildly as he tacitly seizes the crumbled paper from Pei Xenia. Pei Xenia doesn’t bother fighting him, it’d only be a problem if she saw it. “I was wondering what you were concentrating so hard on, it’s no surprise that you were thinking about Xia Mei.” He laughs, glancing at the paper and then Xia Mei who is occupied talking to her friends.
“Hey,” Liu Zhichuan starts, leaning in towards Pei Xenia, “Do you think you can draw Shan Yue for me?” He grins. Pei Xenia snatches the paper from his hands, “Fuck off.” She offers instead, shooing him away.
Pei Xenia stuffed the crumpled paper into her bag, heat crawling up her neck. Liu Zhichuan’s words hung in the air, lingering in a way that made her pulse quicken. He didn’t mean anything by it—he never did. But the casual way he tossed Xia Mei’s name around like it was obvious, like everyone knew.
If it was so obvious, why couldn’t Xia Mei see how much Pei Xenia wanted her?
Pei Xenia grumbles as she’s left to her thoughts, if she ignores that Liu Zhichuan still hasn’t left her side. “What are you still here for?” Pei Xenia asks, gazing up at Liu Zhichuan. Liu Zhichuan and Pei Xenia can’t help but shrink back instinctively.
“We’re going to eat near the garden today.” Liu Zhichuan simply says before leaving Pei Xenia. Pei Xenia raises an eyebrow, has Liu Zhichuan had a change in heart? Eating in the garden? Pei Xenia shivers at the thought. As if that man cared about scenery.
The garden wasn’t usually a place where she spent much time. Too peaceful, too quiet. She preferred the noise of the classroom, the sharp exchanges between her and Xia Mei, where everything was predictable. This… This felt different.
As she rounded the corner, the sun hit the soft greenery, casting long shadows across the grass. And there they were. Liu Zhichuan, Shan Yue, and a few other friends sitting under a tree, looking oddly comfortable in the serene setting.
As Pei Xenia walks closer she notices a few more heads than usual, she raises an eyebrow before walking up to Liu Zhichuan, punching him lightly in a greeting. Liu Zhichuan tilts his head back smiling, “Oh, Pei Xenia. You’re here.” He smiles, shifting to the side to make space for Pei Xenia.
Pei Xenia makes herself comfortable, sitting between Liu Zhichuan and Zhou Xi. She pauses when she notices their group seems to be sitting further than usual, she looks up to see Xia Mei in front of her.
“…Xia Mei.” Pei Xenia says, her voice rigid and her body stiffens upon seeing Xia Mei. Xia Mei smiles lightly at Pei Xenia.
“Xia Mei,” Pei Xenia repeated, her voice quieter this time. She averted her gaze, not trusting herself to look into Xia Mei’s eyes for too long.
“You’re quieter than usual today, Xenia.” Xia Mei’s voice was casual, but there was something in the way she said her name that made Pei Xenia’s skin prickle.
“I’m not,” Pei Xenia shot back, quicker than intended. She regretted it instantly, shifting uncomfortably under Xia Mei’s gaze. Liu Zhichuan’s obnoxious laughter broke the tension, but it only made Pei Xenia more aware of how close Xia Mei was.
Pei Xenia shifted her weight, arms crossed, trying to pretend she wasn’t hyper-aware of Xia Mei’s every move. The distant laughs of Liu Zhichuan and Shan Yue did nothing in distracting her thoughts, even in the cool breeze bristling against her skin she still felt inexplicitly warm.
Xia Mei stood up, walking towards Pei Xenia all of a sudden. She didn’t say anything, not when Xia Mei was towering over her, not when Xia Mei was leaning dangerously close to her face, not when Xia Mei had Pei Xenia like this .
“You’ve got something in your hair,” Xia Mei murmured, her voice low, almost teasing.
Before Pei Xenia could react, Xia Mei’s hand was already reaching toward her. Time seemed to slow down as Pei Xenia felt cool fingers brush against her temple, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. The touch was casual, brief. But it might as well have set Pei Xenia’s whole body on fire.
Her breath caught in her throat, heart slamming against her chest. Xia Mei was close—too close. The soft scent of her perfume, the warmth radiating from her skin—it was overwhelming. Pei Xenia tried to keep her expression neutral, tried not to let her guard slip, but the proximity was making it impossible to think straight.
Xia Mei’s fingers lingered for just a moment longer than necessary, her eyes locking onto Pei Xenia’s. “There,” she said, her voice soft but carrying an unfamiliar edge of something Pei Xenia refused to acknowledge. “All better.”
Pei Xenia swallowed hard, hands twitching at her sides, desperate to move, to do something, anything , to distract herself from the sheer urge to lean in and close the distance between them. Her gaze flickered to Xia Mei’s lips, so close, so easy to reach if she just…
No.
She clenched her fists, nails digging into her palms as she forced herself to stay still. Don’t. Don’t you dare.
“Thanks,” Pei Xenia muttered, her voice rough, barely more than a whisper. She hoped it sounded casual, unaffected, but the pounding in her chest betrayed her. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her to kiss her right then and there—to close the gap and finally feel what she’d been craving for so long.
But she couldn’t. Not now. Not when Xia Mei’s teasing eyes were watching her so intently, like she knew exactly what Pei Xenia was thinking.
Xia Mei smiled, a small, knowing smile, as if she could see right through Pei Xenia’s resolve. “You’re welcome,” she said, her voice smooth, before she turned away, leaving Pei Xenia standing there, frozen, heat crawling up her neck and ears.
Pei Xenia exhaled shakily the moment Xia Mei walked back to her group, her legs feeling like they might give out any second. She let out a shaky breath, cursing herself silently. Get a grip.
But as she stood there, her pulse still racing, she knew one thing for certain: resisting Xia Mei was only getting harder.
Liu Zhichuan leaned towards her, giving her a knowing smile that Pei Xenia ignored.
Pei Xenia slumped back onto the grass, forcing herself to take deep, calming breaths. Her heart was still hammering in her chest, but she refused to let it show on her face. The last thing she needed was Liu Zhichuan or anyone else catching on to what had just happened.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Xia Mei rejoin her group, laughing lightly with her friends as if nothing had happened, like she hadn’t just completely unraveled Pei Xenia’s carefully built defenses with a single touch. That infuriating grace, that effortless confidence—why did she have to be so damn irresistible?
Pei Xenia,” Liu Zhichuan’s teasing voice broke through her spiraling thoughts. He was still lounging beside her, a grin plastered on his face. Pei Xenia shot him a glare, but it lacked any real heat.
“Shut up,” she muttered, leaning her elbows on her knees and burying her face in her hands. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Liu Zhichuan chuckled, “I didn’t say anything. But, you know…”
Pei Xenia groaned softly. “What is it?”
He raised an eyebrow, leaning in a little closer. “You. Xia Mei. It’s written all over your face every time she looks your way.”
Pei Xenia’s face flushed with heat, and she lowered her hands to glare at him again. “No, it’s not,” she snapped. “You’re imagining things.”
Liu Zhichuan shrugged, his grin not fading in the slightest. “Hm. Maybe Xia Mei is aware of it, too.” Liu Zhichuan jokes.
Pei Xenia rolled her eyes, brushing him off, but her thoughts kept spiraling. Could she really just keep pretending like this? Like Xia Mei didn’t drive her absolutely crazy ?
As Liu Zhichuan finally stood to join the others, Pei Xenia let herself collapse onto her back, staring up at the sky. The soft rustling of leaves above did little to calm the storm in her chest.
Suddenly, Xia Mei’s voice floated through the air again, this time more playful, directed at Pei Xenia from across the garden. “Hey, Xenia, are you going to nap out here or are you going to join us?”
Pei Xenia sat up slowly, everyone’s gazes on her, she made no effort to move. Xia Mei looked back towards the group, “I have some business with Pei Xenia. We’ll catch up later.”
“Xenia,” Xia Mei sat down next to Pei Xenia. “You’re not usually this quiet.”
Pei Xenia swallowed hard, trying to muster some semblance of her usual attitude. “I just have nothing to say,” she replied coolly, hoping her voice sounded steadier than she felt. She crossed her arms tightly, keeping her gaze on the ground.
Mei laughed softly, the sound brushing against Pei Xenia’s ears, sending a shiver down her spine. “Is that so? …You’re really hard to read sometimes.”
Pei Xenia snuck a glance at her, finding Xia Mei’s eyes locked on hers again, that same teasing glint lingering. Pei Xenia’s breath hitched, her heart light despite her best efforts to keep her cool.
“Oh,” Pei Xenia muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “I see.”
But I want you to be able to read me easily.
Xia Mei didn’t respond right away. Instead, she reached out again, her fingers brushing lightly against Pei Xenia’s arm, sending sparks of electricity up her skin. The touch was brief, but it left Pei Xenia reeling.
“Pei Xenia,” Xia Mei says, leaning close towards Pei Xenia. It’s the first time Pei Xenia has seen Xia Mei this serious outside of the classroom. She can’t help but shiver.
“What is it?” Pei Xenia asks, her voice slightly trembling. She just hopes Xia Mei doesn’t notice.
“Please,” Xia Mei started, her voice barely audible, eyes searching Pei Xenia’s before speaking again, her voice the softest Pei Xenia has ever heard. “Let me understand you. I want to know you– the real you.”
Gently, her fingers grazed Pei Xenia’s arm, a light touch that felt like a silent plea, sending an uncomfortable warmth through her skin.
Xia Mei’s gaze was fond, almost pleading, “Let me read your heart .”