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She was sitting on her couch, wrapped with a jumble of blankets, Mort squished in her embrace, when her phone buzzed, underneath the noise of her television floating through her flat.
Thana looked at the screen. Heaving a sigh, with the assumption that it was Hypnos calling, she picked her phone up. The clock read, in large print letters, Friday, December 13, 4:08 .
It was Zagreus who was calling her.
She hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the window. The sun had not even touched the sky yet. She clicked the green button, lifted the phone to her pierced ears.
“Zag?” and it did not mean to lilt up at the end, but it did.
“Didn’t expect you to answer now. How are you, baby?” She could picture his grin, as it bled through his infuriating accent.
Thana scoffed, shifting around. “Do you see the time right now, Zagreus?”
“Hmm, ” he hummed. “Four in the morning. Your point?”
“Why aren’t you sleeping? ”
Zagreus yawned over the line, and that, she could picture as well. The crack of his mouth, the crinkle of his nose. “Mmm. Didn’t get any sleep at all. Couldn’t stop thinking about you." A wink, perhaps. "I’m going to work in an hour, anyway.”
“Zagreus,” Thana warned. “What’s wrong?”
A pause on the other end. Then, “It’s my job. Been stressing me out, that’s all. Fuck.”
His hand, scrubbing his face, massaging his temples. Thana bit her lip. “Is there anything I can do? I mean, what specifically is stressing you out?”
“Father,” Zagreus deadpanned, and it was enough to tell her everything. “I know he’s trying, and I don’t resent him or anything, but. Ugh, I don’t know. He’s just been giving me a hard time.”
She nodded. “I get it.”
“I don’t want you to worry for me. I can handle myself. Besides, I already feel better just by listening to you. ” Shuffling, then, and now his smile was back in his voice, fond. “You didn’t answer my question. How are you? Why are you up?”
Thana fidgeted with her fingers. “I had trouble sleeping as well,” she admitted.
“Why? Because you couldn’t stop thinking about me? ” he teased.
“Ugh. As if. Need to stock up on melatonin supplements again.”
“If you need anything— “
“I’m not,” she cut off, “trying to burden you, Zag.”
“But you aren’t. I want to make sure my wife is healthy.”
Thana rolled her eyes. He had a lot to say— she was not his wife; he hadn’t even asked her yet. Still, she rehearsed going by Mrs. Thana Styx in front of her vanity a few good times. It felt good.
She tugged on the black flaps of her red jacket. It was cropped on her, her stomach peeking out, firm on her breasts; paired with it were black biker shorts. She considered this. “You know, you left your jacket here. A little too small for me, but I make things work.”
Zagreus went utterly quiet, light static taking its fill instead. “I was wondering where that jacket went, ” he said, very calmly. Thana smiled, conjuring up another image. He was probably gritting his teeth. “You little minx. ”
“Who are you calling little?” She slightly slid down her couch, lazily resting her hand on her stomach. “I miss you.” Her tone leaned into a whine. “When can I see you again?”
He cursed under his breath. His black hair was tousled now, from sleep and from running his hands through it. It was a nice picture to imagine. “I have Saturday off. I promise I’m going to take you downtown, to all the shops and ice cream parlors they have there.”
Thana twirled a bleached curl around her finger. “You’re gonna give me your card?”
“Yes. ”
“And what should I wear?” she asked.
“You look good in anything. ” Thana snorted. It was chilly; perhaps a maxi-skirt and a sweater would suffice. “But wear those platforms. You always look amazing in those.”
“They make me too tall,” she complained, pouting.
“So? You’re still beautiful. ”
Thana audibly swallowed.
“Oh, and then I’m going to take you back to my place, ” Zagreus quickly added. “Of course. ”
There’s an idea.
“Of course,” she echoed. She kicked the blankets off, adjusted her, his jacket, and gazed at the television screen, as if through water.
Phone calls were the life essence of their long-distance relationship— even though Zagreus has driven on his motorbike for an hour just to see her many, many times. After a great deal of showing up at her shop to flirt with her— his eyes flicking to her tits, winking as she explained in detail how to correctly handle a fragile moth— she scratched down, in her rich girl scrawl, her phone number and her Instagram on a cigarette, and tucked it in his pocket.
He called her after a week.
“I thought this day would’ve never come,” Thana had mused, chewing on nicorette gum.
“I’m surprised you didn’t already forget about me,” Zagreus said.
“Oh please. A British guy, here in Jersey? Hard to forget. You’re not even the first, at least.”
“Ares, right? I know. He’s my cousin after all.” She was startled at the mention of his name. “Was visiting him, and he told me about you.” His voice dropped into a whisper. “I have to say… I checked you out. A girl like you with a guy like him? Really ?”
She hung up on him, sputtering that she was not actually with Ares. Zagreus did not mind; the next time he called her, he was laughing and apologizing and asking when they could go out for dinner. That single phone call was the advent of Thana’s life.
The bed creaked on Zagreus’ end, under his shifting weight. He sighed. “‘m bored. What are you watching, baby?”’
If Thana did not know him as well as she does, she would have been surprised that his ears could catch the faint volume of the show that was droning on. But he was Zagreus. “‘ Succession,’ ” she said. “It’s kinda like your family, the dysfunction of it all.”
Zagreus made a sound of disgust. Thana laughed softly. “I know, right?”
“I love my cousins. Wouldn’t want to spend more than five minutes with them.”
“I barely know any of my siblings.” She shrugged. “I find it better. Nobody tries to pry. There wasn’t any collective family hysteria when I came out as trans.” A yawn fell from her lips.
“Sleep,” said Zagreus before she could close her mouth.
Thana wanted to punch him through the phone. “Oh yeah? You first.”
“Nah. Got work in less than an hour.”
“At least for twenty minutes, Zag.” She allowed her voice to drag and deepen, in the way that could hypnotize him.
“I don’t like what you’re doing one bit, sitting there on your spot on the couch, batting your eyelashes all innocently. ” Thana burst into giggles, throwing her head back. “See? You’re all smug about it. ” He could not deny the sweet, boyish smile in his words.
Once her laughter quieted, Zagreus spoke again. “I wish I could kiss you right now.”
“You’ll get to lavish me with kisses on Saturday night, Zag, just like you planned. Or, or .” Thana blew a kiss to the phone, beaming. “How’s that?”
“You’re killing me here, baby. ”
She examined her nails, sharp and painted black like the night sky. “Try not to lose your mind.”
“It’s impossible, when I have you as my girlfriend .”
Thana huffed. “You’re nonsensical when you don’t sleep.”
“I’m a goddamn poet, ” corrected Zagreus, “ and I’m being very serious right now. ”
Her eyebrows shot up. “ Very serious?”
“ Yes. Very serious.”
She chuckled, and rolled her body to lay on her side, head resting against the soft white pillow. She pulled the blankets back on her, Mort on her shoulder.
“I think I’m going to sleep now, Zag,” said Thana, drawing her thumb in light circles on her wrist. I wish you were here with me, she wanted to say, replaced it with quietness instead.
“Good. ”
“And you should as well.”
Zagreus groaned.
“Not even twenty minutes. Ten.”
“Five.”
“ Seven,” she compromised.
“Whatever you say, baby, ” Zagreus sung.
“Okay. If that’s the case, twenty minutes.”
He groaned again. Thana giggled sweetly, and said, “Night, Zag.”
“Night, Than. Take care of yourself, okay?”
“Yes, yes, I know.” She inhaled. “You… you too. Don’t get hurt. Don’t die of stress or anything.”
Zagreus laughed, warm and rich like fruit, a sound that Thana could get drunk on. “Yeah? ”
“Yeah,” she said, throat dry. “Reckless fool.”
“Mmm. I love you.”
“I love you, too,” said Thana. It was easy to utter those three words, now; they no longer lodged in her throat.
She hung up first because Zagreus wouldn’t have— not in such a hurry, at least. She placed her phone face-down on the arm of the couch, and let out a deep breath.
Now, about Saturday afternoon, downtown…