Chapter Text
“Scorpius Malfoy, you are such a colossal dick.”
Rose Weasley was furious. Two bright red spots had appeared on her cheekbones, and she looked as though she were more than happy to drag the offender down to hell single handed.
The boy in question stuck a head over the edge of his blankets, hair tufty and dishevelled. He peered around, looking confused for a second.
“Wha’?” he asked blearily, in a voice that made it completely clear to Rose that he was still fast asleep.
“I said,” Rose pressed, “that you are a complete and utter dick.”
Two grey eyes blinked owlishly at her.
“My.” Scorpius said mildly. “Such language so early in the morning.” And he flopped back onto his pillows, tugging his blankets back up to his nose, clearly intending to spend the rest of Saturday morning in bed.
Rose threw her arms up, sighing in exasperation. “Don’t you even want to know why you’re a dick?”
Scorpius hummed contentedly.
“Not particularly.” He said sleepily to his pillow, on the brink of dozing off again. He’d been dreaming about the new Phantom77 that he’d seen in Hogsmede last weekend. That thing could fly, and he was soaring out – over the lake, the forbidden forest. The wind was in his hair and he wasn’t wearing his leather kit but he was warm and-
“Arghh!!” he yelled as the blankets were ripped from around him. He swore lustily and opened his eyes.
Weasley was standing there, a self-satisfied smirk on her lips, his blankets clasped in one, small hand.
“Now are you interested?” She asked, in a voice that feigned interest but was ruined by the fact that she looked utterly as though she were a cat that had got the cream.
“No.” Scorp yawned, rubbing blearily at his eyes. “Give back my duvet.”
“Two words.” Rose continued, keeping a firm grip on the sheets. Scorpius curled up on himself in his bed, and whimpered pitifully. “Jenna Bodie.”
Scorp opened one eye, and stared at Rose. “Al.” he called. “Tell your cousin to give back my sheets.”
The draperies around one of the beds further along twitched, and a dark haired head appeared briefly. “What’s Malfoy done?” It asked, sounding amused.
“Only got Bodie pregnant!”
Al raised an eyebrow. “Really Scorp? You and Bodie? I did not see that one coming.”
Scorpius didn’t deign to answer, instead he reached an arm up blindly, grabbed his sheets and tugged.
“Better.” He grumbled, tucking them around himself and nesting down. “Want to know what I think?” He asked the room, and when he got no reply continued blithely. “I think Weasley wanted to see if I slept naked.”
“Douche.” Al said serenely, but he wasn’t going to pick between his cousin and best friend. Instead, he retreated back inside his bed, and snores emitted after a few moments.
“Scorp!” Rose was all set to flounce out of the room, but an arm snaked out of the bed and held her fast.
“But I’m very sorry.” Said a voice from somewhere under the reclaimed covers. “I’m a fan of jammies. Look,” and another arm appeared and wiggled. It was indeed clad in red pyjamas, with a pattern of golden snitches scattered on the fabric.
“You’re impossible.” Rose snapped, hectic red spots playing on her cheeks. “I came up to beat the crap out of you.”
“That’s not very polite.” Scorp commented, sounding wounded. “I thought we were friends.”
Rose rolled her eyes. “Bodie’s telling everyone that you’re the father of her unborn sproglet. That’s all.”
“Rosie,” Scorp sounded patient and sleepy. “Have you looked at Bodie? She is not the most attractive chick in school. Or anywhere, really. I’m sure there’s a moose somewhere that would find her attractive, but-” Scorpius paused, and lowered his tone to one that reeked of confidentiality. “I am not a moose.”
“No.” Rose agreed, “But you are a dick.”
There was a chuckle that sounded dozy. “Yup. Yeah, that’s true.”