Chapter Text
Chuuya was waiting in front of his house for Dazai. He was late. He kicked a rock while sighing, he was waiting for at least 10 minutes now!
“Chibi!!” He turned his head to the familiar voice, and saw a Dazai walking up to him with a big grin and waving at him like a little kid. He waits for Dazai to get to him.
“Where were you dumbass?! I’ve been waiting for 15 minutes!” Chuuya started to yell at him when he finally got there. But Dazai was not bothered with his high pitch voice, he was even listening with a smile on his face!
Dazai look around while Chuuya kept yelling at him. When he was done he followed Dazai’s gaze to understand what he was looking for.
“Chibi, where’s Aku? Is he still in the house?”
“No, he already left. He didn’t want to wait for you” Dazai nodded while turning his head to Chuuya again.
“Let’s get to school, shall we?” As he said that, they start to walking towards their school.
“Why are you late? You usually come on time.” Chuuya asked. Dazai thought for a moment before answering him.
“Its my dad, he needed help with somethings. Did you get worried about me Chibi~?” Chuuya knew that Dazai was just playing with him, but he couldn’t help but yell.
“EWWW NO! I just wanted to know why you make me stand there for hours!” Both of them knew that was a lie. Chuuya was really getting worried for his friend.
“Is Mori going on a business trip?” All of Dazai's reasons for being late were Mori. He always needed some help with packing his stuff before leaving for a trip.
“Yeah kind of.” Chuuya nodded again and just kept walking.
As they walked in silence for a bit longer, Dazai broke the silence.
“You know…” His silence started as fast as his speech. He made a huge mistake with talking, didn’t he? He didn’t want to talk about this topic but his big mouth couldn’t keep it!
“’You know’ what?” As Chuuya started to question him, he turned his head.
“Nothing! I am just talking nonsense like always!”
“Spill the tea, mackerel” Dazai knew he had no escape from Chuuya. He wished he had never brought this up, but now he just started to talk.
“You know, the graduation is coming soon…” Chuuya just look at him blankly. Wondering why he just didn’t tell him that straight.
“Yeah I know. That was the thing you didn’t wanna talk about?” Dazai sighed and nodded. That wasn't what he was going to say, but he didn't want to say it anyway, so there was no problem at all.
“Yeah, I am just worried about it” He tried to change to topic. And luckily, Chuuya didn't understand that.
“Ah, don’t worry. You have good grades! You can go to the any college you want to go! And we will go to the same college as we talk right? So there’s not a problem!” Chuuya smiled broadly. He was excited about going to college! It was going to be perfect!
He was planning on becoming a writer. That was his dream!
Dazai and he had made a lot of plans for college, They always work to go to the same college. Actually, that was just Chuuya who was working. Dazai already was a genius, so he didn’t need to study.
“Yeah right, there’s not a problem at all.” He smiled at Chuuya. Even though he felt guilty, he still couldn't tell Chuuya. He didn’t want to make him sad just now. They needed to talk in a more appropriate environment. While sitting, and when no one is around…
After walking in silence for a while, they arrived at their school. Dazai lead the way to the class and Chuuya followed along.
-
They sat at the table with others. It was lunch break now.
Akutagawa and Atsushi were seated together. Next to them Chuuya sat down And Dazai sat across from him, next to Kunikida.
Last year, they were more crowded, Yosano and Ranpo were with them. But they graduated last year, so now it was only them.
Him, Dazai and Kunikida was going to college this year too. Chuuya didn’t know what to feel about leaving his little brother and his little boyfriend alone. Most of the time, Dazai and him stood up for them.
Unlike Akutagawa’s way of looking, both of them were naïve and they needed protection…
After all he was Chuuya’s little brother, of course Chuuya’s going to be worried about them.
“You guys know, graduation is close.” Chuuya snapped himself from his thoughts with Kunikida’s talking.
“Ugh why is everyone talking about it lately?!” Kunikida rolled his eyes with Chuuya’s question and sighed.
“Because, graduation is close and we need to think about college.”
“Yeah yeah whatever, what college you planing to go?” Chuya turned his head in Kunikida’s direction.
“I’m still not sure but I got some colleges in my mind. I still got time to think about it. After all it’s a big step to our career.” Kunikida talked with a formal tone. Chuuya forced back the urge to roll his eyes.
“Mhm, that’s sound like a plan. Me and Dazai has already made a choice” Dazai shifted uneasily in his seat. Chuuya didn’t mind it that much but the face Dazai was making right now made him confused. He decided to ask him about it when they were alone.
-
“Do you want to come? We can hangout.” Chuuya asked Dazai with a smile. School ended 15 minutes ago, and Chuuya wanted to talk with Dazai about his weird behavior at lunch as well as in the morning.
Dazai nodded quickly and changed his way to Chuuya’s house. This deal was better than going home.
They get inside and quickly go to Chuuya’s room. As they get there both of them leave their bags on the floor. Dazai sat on Chuuya’s bed and Chuuya made his way to the chair.
“I got something to talk about.” Chuuya spoke with a determined voice.
“I figured that out, what is it?” Dazai talked with a calm yet cold tone like he was going to confess something big.
“I just think… you got something to tell me, Am I right?” Dazai sighed as he nodded and answered Chuuya.
“Chibi is getting smarter everyday, I see. And yes, I got something to tell” Chuuya looked at him with suspicion and nodded his head, gesturing him to go on.
“You know, we plan to go to the same college…”
“Yeah, of course.”
“I won’t be going there.” Chuuya gasped at that confession and widened his eyes.
“What?! Why?!” Dazai sighed, he knew Chuuya going to react like that.
“I’ll explain, if you listen” Chuuya took deep breaths to calm himself and nodded.
“Its Mori… He doesn’t want me to be an artist. He wants me to become a doctor so I can’t go to that college with you…” Chuuya stayed silent and looked at him blankly. He didn’t know what to say. He already knew that his dad wasn’t happy about him to being artist, but he didn’t think that his dad going to stop him.
“B-but that’s nonsense! That’s your dream! The thing you’re talented at!” Chuuya voiced his thoughts with a shock on his face. How could his dad stop him from chasing his dream?!
“Mori doesn’t care about it…” Dazai felt more light after his confession, but that was not just it…
“I actually have one more thing to say…” Chuuya sensed that it wasn’t going to be a good thing, so he prepared himself.
“This college… it’s not in the same city as yours.” Chuuya just looked at him and rolled his eyes.
“Yeah I figured, dumbass, don’t worry we still got holidays to hangout.” Dazai sighed one more time as his heart ached more. It was going to be hard for him to tell, but he already told Chuuya about the other stuff.
“The thing is… Mori decided to move cities to the one I’ll be going to college.” Chuuya froze at his place. His mind was replaying the thing Dazai said.
Mori decided to move. Decided to move. Move. Move. Out of this city. Out of here. Move…
As Chuuya replayede this sentence, he felt like he wasn’t breathing. Dazai quickly walked to his side and held his hand.
“Chuuya, breath! Don’t worry I am not leaving you! Look I am still here!” Chuuya took deep breaths to calm himself. Dazai was rubbing his hand with his thumb. He felt better, still, he couldn’t help but think about Dazai leaving him.
‘Calm down Chuuya, he’s just moving. We can still meet. We can still stay in contact.’ Chuuya calmed himself down.
He got up and walked to his drawer. Dazai just watched him with curiosity. Chuuya took a rectangle shaped thing, it was wrapped in a blue wrapper. He handed the object to Dazai.
“It was supposed to be your birthday gift, but if you’re moving, then I could give you this a little early. Count it as my kindness.” Dazai smirked at his words and turned his head to the object. İt was in blue wrappers, tone was just like Chuuya’s eyes. İt was his favorite color.
“Did Chibi buy me a book? Well, let’s learn!” As he began to unwrap it gently, his curiosity just grew bigger.
After he done with unwrapping, he just looked at the object with shock. This was the set he was wanting for so long! İt was a sketchbook with coloring and drawing pencils!
He was wanting it for so long but Mori didn’t allow him to buy it. Now, Chuuya was giving it to him.
He suddenly pulled Chuuya into his arms and hugged him tightly. He was so glad to have Chuuya as a friend.
“Thank you… I was wanting it for so long” he spoke with a low tone. Chuuya laughed at his behavior and hugged him back.
“Yeah I know, and I know that your dad didn’t allow you to buy it. So I bought it.” Dazai was smiling like an idiot. İt was a rare sight to see, so Chuuya took a minute to look at it again and again.
After letting go of each other, they notice it was getting late. Dazai didn’t want to make Mori mad. So he got his bag from the floor, they said their goodbyes to each other for the last time and Dazai left.
-
Next day Chuuya got up normally. He did his routine like preparing his bag and making breakfast. After he done with all of that his phone rang. He took the phone to see the message, it was from Dazai.
Mackerel
Chibi, I am not coming to school, I will pack my things. Go without me.
Little angry chibi
Geez, you could tell me earlier.
Mackerel
What can I say? I am a forgetful person~
Little angry chibi
Yeah yeah, whatever good bye then.
Mackerel reacted with ‘heart’ to this message
His face fell down as he remembered that Dazai was going to leave him. He wasn’t just sad about him leaving, it was also that he couldn’t keep chasing his dreams.
He sighed and left the house with Akutagawa. He was silent and deep in thought all the way. Akutagawa knew something was wrong with his brother, but he didn’t say anything.
Chuuya decided to give Dazai a visit after he came back from school.
-
After school ended, Chuuya ran to the house, not caring about a thing in the world. He didn’t even hear Akutagawa’s yelling behind him. He quickly threw his bag in the house and got out as fast as he had entered.
He hastened his steps as he took his phone out of his pocket. He dialed Dazai’s number, but it was giving the same fucking message for the 16th time!
“We’re sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.”
“Fucking Dazai! What does that mean?!”
After he got out from the classroom, when he dialed Dazai’s number he came across with message! So, he got worried and ran to his house.
After he got there he didn’t see Mori’s car. He stopped and took a moment to steady his breathing.
His father may have gone to work, he thought. He slowly walked to the door to knock. But when he got closer to the door, he saw a note attached to it. İt was Dazai’s handwriting, he could recognize it from a mile away. He slowly read the note.
‘ İt hurt me to leave you like this. But Mori didn’t give me a chance. He broke my phone so no one could text me. I am sorry Chuuya… I hope you can have a good life and you can achieve your dreams.
-Mackerel
Oh and I leave you a gift in the backyard, think it as an early birthday gift. Count it as my kindness (; ’
Chuuya felt like he wasn’t breathing, he tried to calm himself, but it wasn’t working. Dazai was gone, he left him…
He felt some warmth on his cheeks, he realized he was crying and quickly buried his face in his hands. He wiped his tears and slowly walked to the backyard.
There was something Dazai left behind. The last thing he gave to Chuuya before he was gone.
Chuuya took deep breaths while walking, he forced back the urge to cry. His heart raced as he saw a bag. It was Dazai’es school bag, lying on the ground, waiting for Chuuya to take it…
He walked towards the bag and gently took it, he didn’t want to damage the thing inside it. He opened the bag, and slowly took the object inside it. İt was wrapped in brightly coloured paper.
Chuuya felt his tears coming again. İt wasn’t just because of the gift, it was about the wrapping paper. İt was red, just the tone he loved. Just like he did to Dazai, he didn’t forget about his favorite color either.
He gently unwrapped the papers and froze when he saw what was inside the wrapping.
İt was a painting… painting of them sitting under a tree. Chuuya was pointing at something in the sky, and Dazai was looking at him instead of where he was pointing.
Chuuya felt something burning his throat. He remembered this picture. İt was his favorite picture. It was on top of his drawer, next to his bed.
“CHİBİ!!! C’mon I am tired! Let’s rest under this tree”
Chuuya was exhausted from running and laughing. He couldn't even say a single word because of his rapid breathing. He just nodded and they made their way to the tree.
After they sat down, they remained silent and steadied their breathing. While doing that Chuuya saw a weird shaped cloud.
“Dazai look, this cloud looks just like you. A fish” Chuuya laughed at his own sentence and Dazai just huffed.
“Oh c’mon! Look that cloud is look like you then! A little dot! So little like you.” Both of them were about to start to bickering again. But just before they did, Kōyo had already taken a picture of them. Those days were full of fighting and laughing.
Chuuya smiled as he remembered this memory. He looked at the painting. But there was something different.
İn the picture, Dazai wasn’t looking at him. He was looking where he had pointed. He decided to not think about it now. He needed to go back home before he made his parents more worried.
While he tried to put the painting in Dazai’s bag again, he saw one more note. He took it and read it.
‘ Yahoo! Did you like my painting? I even Signed it in the corner! You are the first person to get my famous paintings! (And the last one probably)
I knew you really liked this picture so I decided to paint it. You can see there’s a little difference in the painting. Well guess why! Because I will not tell you why! ‘
When he finished reading the note he didn’t know whether to cry or laugh or be mad. He just shook his head and put the painting in the bag. He can think about it later, but now he needed to go back home.
This day was full of tears, sweat and sadness, but there were memories as well! Memories he could never forget…
Memories he will be happy to remember…