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It was blissfully quiet inside the ruins, save the sounds of various insects, bird calls and the careful footsteps of a Wanderer. His legs ached and a few times he considered summoning the winds from his Anemo vision to carry him across the moss covered earth. However, the scholar in him wagered that it probably wasn’t the best idea. Winds could be the most destructive thing and the last thing he wanted to do was cause damage to a place of study. Especially one that held ruined architecture and flora that looked particularly fragile. So, no winds within the ruins, he told himself. However he did wish that he had thought to wear better shoes on this expedition. Leaves and blades of grass tickled against his sandaled feet. He stopped every few steps to knock pebbles and dirt from between his toes with a huff.
Still, he had to admit that it was a nice reprieve to be away from the rest of the students he had been surrounded by lately. No crowded hallways, no overhearing mindless gossip, no one trying to steal his hat. It was great here. Well, aside from just the general disdain that came from entering any ruins. He hated the musty smell. The often dark and uncomfortably cramped spaces. But the solitude? On this occasion, it wasn’t so bad. Welcome, even. Although he couldn’t shake the feeling that perhaps he wasn’t as alone as he thought. Every so often, he could have sworn he heard distant footsteps. Crunching leaves. Stones being toppled by movement. But that couldn't be possible. These ruins were far from civilization and as far as the Wanderer knew, he was the lone student that chose this particular expedition.
Soft earth gave way to a hardened pathway that made his sandals click. The sound echoed in the hallway around him. He wasn’t even sure if ‘hallway’ was the right thing to consider it to be. It was a tunnel of rusted metal. Once he reached the halfway point of the tunnel, he stopped to take a brief break. Leaning against the wall, he reached down to pull off his sandals one by one to knock loose any dirt and debris he tracked. As he wiped the grit from the bottom of his feet, he heard the footsteps again. It was much clearer this time and impossible to write off as anything else.
“I suggest whoever is there to show themselves”, he called out gruffly, annoyance tinged his voice. He quickly slipped his sandals back on to stand his ground against whoever had been tracking him. Whoever would be foolish enough to pester him on such an expedition. He knew immediately that it couldn’t be Nahida as she was perhaps the most understanding. Sometimes to an uncomfortable degree. She would waste no time in declaring her presence to him anytime they crossed paths. He took great comfort in that, if he were to ever be honest with himself.
He was expecting to see the dirtied boots of a Treasure Hoarder step into view. Perhaps even the nervous and fidgety approach of a fellow Vahumana student that decided to tag along because they were too afraid to choose an expedition of their own. But what stepped into view was someone that wasn’t entirely unwanted.
White outlandish clothing, a soft glow that signaled a power from a distant nation and hair that seemed to soak in all the light of the sun and carry it with them wherever they ventured.
“Ah, it's you, Traveler”, he said as he let his guard slip a little. It had taken a long time and many encounters for trust to be placed in the Traveler. It was those many encounters that taught him that they only had good intentions in mind. Even after he had said many cold and cruel things in their presence. Even raised his fist against them. And yet… more often than not, they had stood their ground and offered him kindness when he needed it.
“I swear that hat gets bigger every time I see you”, a giggle laced their voice. Their footsteps were slow and casual as they approached the Wanderer. “I’m sorry if I spooked you. I wasn’t sure if I should interrupt…whatever you’re doing here.”
“Since when have you ever worried about interrupting anything?”, he scoffed, crossing his arms in mock annoyance with them.
“Fair. Allow me to rephrase my statement. I didn’t know if you were in the mood to be bothered by anyone but it didn’t feel right just letting you walk around here by yourself. It's…”
“Dangerous?”, the Wanderer finished their sentence for them with a raise of his brow. “You of all people should know what I can and cannot handle.”
“That doesn’t discount any concern I have for your wellbeing.”
Something about this entire conversation felt…off. Had he never focused on the sound of their voice so much in all their past encounters? The intonation seemed off. No, perhaps it was the pitch? He dwelled on these thoughts as his eyes swept over their form. Ever suspicious, always looking for deception, even from those who had never shown any inclination of deceiving him.
It was all at once that he realized what was wrong with the situation. It was far too quiet . He had never spent much time focusing on the sound of their voice because there was always the shrill and inescapable flying companion with them.
“Where is Paimon?”, he asked, masking any suspicion in his voice. “Did you finally eat her or something?”
The Traveler was quiet for a moment or two, their expression blank and still before they erupted in laughter. Their hand pressed against their belly as they bent slightly from the chuckling. The sound echoed within the tunnel.
“Oh yeah, real knee-slapper that one”, he rolled his eyes in annoyance. He wondered what he had said to have made it so funny.
“Paimon isn’t always with me, you know?”, they said with a slight wheeze as their laughter died down. “She’s with Tighnari and a few of the forest rangers. They’re having a cooking competition using only food provided by the forest and she’s judging it. I kinda got tired of her asking when the food was going to be ready so I decided to go on a walk.”
“And that walk just so happened to be into abandoned ruins several miles away from Gandharva Ville?”, he couldn’t hide the suspicion from his tone this time.
They softened their gaze and raised their hands in defeat. “Alright, alright. You got me.” They sighed and stepped further into the metal tunnel that surrounded them. He watched them as they walked a little further down the path, their gaze focused on some flora that had sprouted between rusted panels. Their hand reached for the green vines and the small white blooms that decorated it. “I saw you pass by while we were on the way to meet Tighnari.”
They turned to face him and with a gentle tilt of their head, they gestured for the two of them to trek together through the ruins. Deeper inside the colossal ruin golem they were inside. The suspicion inside the Wanderer only faded slightly, but he obliged in their request to continue walking. It helped to ease the weight in his chest.
“To be honest with you, I wanted the chance to talk with you alone. Paimon sometimes doesn’t let me get a word in edgewise.” Their voice had softened as they walked together. “I want to get to know you better, if you would allow me the chance.”
“Nothing to know”, he snapped bitterly. “My existence is unimportant in the grand scheme of things.”
A heartbeat of silence. The Traveler’s steps faltered, slowing to a stop.
“Is that why you erased yourself?”
A second heartbeat of silence. Wanderer’s footsteps now ceased.
“Why would you even ask that? You were there. You saw everything. Don’t bother asking questions you already know the damn answer to”
His tongue was as sharp as ever. His temper flaring to life. How dare they show him…what? Care? Concern? Why did they care? They weren’t even of this world!
When their footsteps regained their previous pace, their conversation died. They walked side by side. Growing closer to the core of the ruin golem, their footsteps echoed louder as they reached an entranceway of sorts. The Wanderer peered over towards the Traveler as they approached a rusted and ruined railing that overlooked the central station of the ruin golem. They had been walking with their hands tucked behind their back. An eerily familiar stance from his past. One that he had never seen the Traveler do before.
“Can I ask why you chose Vahumana as your Darshan?” the Traveler asked as they carefully moved to lean against the railing. Their gloved hands gently grasping the rusted metal. Though they spoke to the Wanderer, their gaze was focused on the center elevator of the golem.
“Seriously? Asking more questions that you know the answer to?” The Traveler knew well enough that it had been Lesser Lord Kusanali that enrolled him into Vahumana. It was only because of past dues that he remained a student of the Akademiya, at least… that’s what he told himself. Just more proof that…
“You can take off that stupid disguise. I know it’s you.” The words left his throat in a much kinder tone that his guest deserved. “You’ve grown rusty, Doctor.”
“Perhaps you’ve simply grown far more perceptive.” A voice that decidedly didn’t belong to the Traveler said. Though it had come from their form.
In an almost imperceptive blink, the Traveler was gone. And in their place stood The Doctor. He stood in the same manner as they had been, gloved hands grasping the frail and deteriorating handrail. The plume of black feathers rustled slightly with the small amount of wind that drifted through the monolith. The mask that covered his face was mostly black with a flourish of blue like a signature across it. This wasn’t a segment, but the flesh and blood Dottore. Prime, as the others called him.
“I don’t mind this new perceptive you”, Dottore said with a smirk as he turned, mask pointing in the Wanderer’s direction. “I daresay, it makes me proud of you. To see you come so far.”
He could have ripped the Harbinger in half. He should have ripped him in half.
But instead, he simply glanced in his direction. Perhaps if it had been a segment that stood in his place, he would have. He would have gladly smashed their circuitry and framework under his feet and summoned the winds to scatter their pieces across Teyvat.
But Prime? He…. couldn’t. For a small part of him begrudgingly looked up to the man. This had been the man that had welcomed him with open arms in Snezhnaya. Put him back together after every time he fell apart. Made him stronger. Wiser. No matter how many times this man betrayed him, he couldn’t destroy him so easily.
“Omega was selfish and inconsiderate. He disobeyed my direct orders far too often.”
“You dare attempt an apology? Your excuses mean nothing to me. You’re one and the same”, the Wanderer spit back.
“I am”, The Doctor said simply with a small nod of his head. “I deserve every ounce of your hatred. I’d be disappointed to find no vitriol from you.”
The Wanderer finally leaned against the railing as well. With arms crossed and a small pout on his face, his lower back pressed into the rusted metal.
“That doesn’t discount any concern I have for your wellbeing.”
Dottore had said that using a replica of the Traveler’s voice. But did he mean it? The Wanderer considered it to himself in quiet contemplation.
“I was horrified when Lesser Lord Kusanali originally assigned me a role in Vahumana”, The Wanderer spoke up after a long moment. His voice carried a softness that he rarely used. And though he couldn’t see it, he could feel the crimson eyes of the Doctor flicker towards him in curiosity.
“Here I was, gathering everything I needed to actually begin the life of a scholar and make a new name for myself while learning the meaning behind it all…when everywhere I looked, all I found was you . It was like you left calling cards scattered all around the hallways. In almost every book I picked up for study, it bore your name. Texts I studied, I could see your handwriting on the parchment. Your hastily written notes in every margin.”
A sniffle. A clearing of his throat but it didn’t stop his voice from breaking when speaking again.
“I feared that I was becoming you.”
That phrase hung heavy in the air. Dottore didn’t speak. He gave the Wanderer all the room he needed. Truly he was a man of patience. And when he felt as if the one he once knew as the Balladeer wasn’t going to speak, he filled the void of silence.
“We are indeed alike”, the self proclaimed scholar nodded. His voice was rich in tone, but not in a mocking or condescending way.
“I’m nothing like you”, the voice was harsh in response. Like a snake spitting venom.
“You would have erased yourself from the memories of Irminsul over and over again if you could. You would have ripped yourself apart into… segments for the void to digest”, Dottore spoke smoothly and slowly. A gloved hand pulled off the mask so that indigo eyes would see the crimson depths.
Prime looked like he had aged years compared to when the Wanderer had last seen his face. Or perhaps he had looked upon Omega too often and got accustomed to the younger face of The Doctor. Many fine lines around weary red eyes. Scars marred flesh. Prime looked exhausted and worn like the leather of his gloves. He thought perhaps he should ask The Doctor how it was that he even remembered who he was, let alone that he had erased his existence. But he knew Dottore too well. The man always had tricks up his sleeve. Was always two steps ahead.
“Lesser Lord Kusanali told me that Omega made the decision to destroy the other segments. Not you"
“Ah but as you’ve already said, ‘ I am one and the same ’, am I not?”
More silence built between them. The Wanderer shifted awkwardly on his feet. He hated this vulnerable conversation between the two of them. There were so many things he wanted to say to the taller man that stood next to him. There was nothing he wanted to say simultaneously.
"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to follow in your footsteps, to a degree. Do what you couldn't. To learn from your mistakes and do something better with my time". The Wanderer felt as if perhaps he actually meant these words. He had picked up so many of Dottore's quirks over the years, what's a few more into the mix going to hurt?
“The mechanism to activate the central elevation unit is on the floor. Take it to the top and open the far left bottom panel. Within is a few pages of parchment that details the inscribed instructions left behind by those that crafted this vessel. The answers for your thesis are there”, Dottore said simply before pushing himself from the railing and turning. He tucked his hands behind his back as he began to walk away. The mask was back in place. Their moment was done and over with as soon as it had begun. For softness was never meant for either of them.
“Offering to help with my homework, old man?”, Wanderer called out.
“Always, my dear Kabukimono ”