Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The call was chaos. 

It came from an old building near downtown that had, at various times, been a church, prop storage for the old Meyer-Goldwyn studio, a pizzeria for money laundering, a magic shop, and a legitimate pizzeria. Now it stood empty, a victim of the economic crash of 2008, it sat unused and decrepit. There was no For Sale sign out front, no hint of who might own the place now, and a good portion of it was already consumed in flames by the time the 118 arrived, since it took several minutes for anybody to even notice it was on fire in the middle of the night. It should have been a standard fire response, but every call was chaos since Gerrard took over as Captain. He put himself directly in the middle of the action, shouting inexplicable demands and getting in the way, and they had no choice but to find a way to work around him. 

Buck swallowed down his annoyance, grateful that he was on the call at all. For the past two weeks he’d been the man left behind with an order to make the place presentable , even though everything was sparkling and you could eat dinner off his floors. But it didn’t matter how hard Buck worked, how much he broke his back, it was never good enough. Gerrard took a special delight in sneering about how worthless Buck was before stomping through the house with his muddy boots, encouraging the rest of the crew to drop their filthy turnouts and tools on the ground at Buck’s feet. 

But this was a serious fire in the middle of a lot of expensive real estate, buildings that were in use, and they were down a man since Chimney was suspended for a week for insubordination–Gerrard claimed he heard the muttered what a piece of shit as Chimney walked away from him, but Chim protested his innocence and nobody else heard anything. Didn’t matter. So Eddie was paired with Hen in the meantime, and Buck was brought on to fill the gap left with Eddie acting as paramedic. Normally, losing his partner would have been upsetting to Buck, but now it was a bit of a relief. They hadn’t been seeing eye to eye since Gerrard’s arrival. In fact, Buck hadn’t been seeing eye to eye with anybody –they all wanted him to keep his mouth shut, keep his head down, turn off his emotions, become a robot, ignore all the problems, shut off his anger, repress his outrage at the injustice of a petty little dictator treating them all like shit. Every time Buck couldn’t keep his mouth shut, the whole crew was punished. 

Buck was ready to get to work. Itching for it. Every fire was its own thing, had its own personality. You never really knew what you were going to get until you were in it. This particular fire was complicated, decades of grease in the kitchen that had never quite been up to code, ancient wood and paper and paint in the back room, plenty of debris in the front to feed the flames. Gerrard continued to bark orders, finally shouting “Buckley! Go around the back. Make sure nobody’s trapped back there.” 

Dispatch had reported it as an abandoned building, but that didn’t mean anything. Somebody could have been sleeping in the alley, or even busted out a window and crawled into the space that was dry. No telling how the fire started–could have been somebody trying to keep warm. Buck trotted off with his gear, nothing on his mind except the immediate task at hand. He used the ax to break through the door and was met with a lot of smoke, but no flames. 

“Hello! Los Angeles Fire Department! Is there anybody in here?” He turned on his light, aiming it through the darkness. “Los Angeles Fire Department! Shout if you can hear me!”

Smoke billowed out of the door, sucked out by the change in air pressure. Buck secured his mask and ventured further inside, ears trained for the slightest noise. A moment later, he heard something. Not a voice, but a soft scratch scratch scratch against the wall. He stopped walking, head swiveling in the direction of the sound. His light caught the dull gleam of a doorknob, and he rushed to it.

“Los Angeles Fire Department!” The doorknob didn’t turn his hand. He couldn’t even wiggle the lock. The scratching sound returned. More urgent this time.  “Stand back!” 

Buck swung the ax and barely made a dent in the thick wood. He heaved it again and again and again, determined to break through and find whatever was scratching back there, hoping that it wasn’t a wave of rats trying to escape the heat of encroaching flames. Finally, the wood buckled, splitting apart so Buck could push his arm inside and turn the lock. He pushed the door open, releasing cooler, stale air. There was nobody there, but there were a set of stairs leading down into darkness. 

“Buck! Buck! You in here?” Eddie shouted from the doorway.

“Here!” Buck shouted. “There might be somebody down here.” 

“Wait!” 

There wasn’t time to wait, and he didn’t want to hear some stupid bullshit about how Gerrard was ordering their retreat so the place could burn to ashes or whatever. Buck turned back to the stairs–they were stone or cement, narrow under his feet, and he descended carefully, not wishing to fall and have Gerrard just leave him there to suffocate if the flames didn’t get him first. At the foot of the stairs was another door, and he heard the scratching again, this time much, much louder. 

“Los Angeles Fire Department!” Buck shouted as he turned the doorknob, expecting it to be locked, but this one moved so easily he almost lost his footing as the door opened. “Los Angeles–” 

There was a flash of light but no heat. That was all Buck could register as he automatically raised his arm to shield his face, White, blinding light, but it wasn’t fire. He knew that much before everything went dark. 

#

Bobby couldn’t sleep. He was working pretty normal hours these days as a consultant on Hot Shots , occasionally being called in for a night-time shoot, but mostly he was home by five o’clock every day. He made dinner. He tidied the house. He paid the bills. He shredded the mail that was ninety-nine percent junk. He watched television. He took Athena out sometimes. He moved them from their temporary apartment into their new house. He was the one who took point on finding a new house. He had plenty of stuff to keep him busy, and yet, when he went to bed, all he could do was stare into the darkness. If he got any sleep at all, it was just a few fitful hours in the early morning, before Athena’s alarm woke them both. 

So when the security system alerted him to people outside, and the knocking started, Bobby was already wide awake and pulling on his robe. He hurried downstairs, picking up his old baseball bat on the way just in case. Of course, it wouldn’t do any good if it was the Mexican Cartel armed with AR-15s. The panel for the security cameras showed him it wasn’t the Mexican cartel. It was Hen and Eddie and….

Bobby frowned and quickly turned the three locks so he could open the door. “Hey guys. What are you doing with a kid? And why are you bringing him here?” 

Eddie and Hen exchanged looks. “Can we come in, Captain?” 

“Not your captain,” Bobby said, stepping back and gesturing them inside. The boy between them looked to be about seven or eight, with shaggy blond hair and narrow shoulders. Bright blue eyes darted around the room, landing briefly on Bobby’s face and then sliding away to check out his surroundings. “Who’s the kid?” 

“Um. Well.” Eddie rubbed the back of his neck. “See. I know this is going to sound crazy.” 

“It is crazy,” Hen interjected. 

“I know what I saw,” Eddie argued back. “Besides, if you don’t believe me, you can just ask him. He’ll tell you.” 

“Guys? Who is he?” 

Eddie took a deep breath. “It’s Buck.” 

“Maybe.” 

“It is ,” Eddie insisted. “I saw it.” 

“Saw what?” Bobby asked slowly. 

“We were on a call downtown, some old building full of junk. Buck was in the back and I went around to check on him, and he had pushed opened this door. I told him to wait for me, but he went downstairs. I saw him go downstairs. I know it was him. And then there was this bright flash of light like…I don’t know…” 

“A fire?” Hen supplied. 

“ No . No, whatever it was, it wasn’t the fire. And by the time I get down there, Buck is nowhere to be seen, but this kid is there, in Buck’s turnouts and Buck’s helmet. I’m telling you. It’s him.” 

Bobby frowned, not sure what to make of Eddie’s incredible story, though he sounded completely sincere. He could see his own skeptical confusion on Hen’s face but she just shrugged. 

“I don’t know how to explain it, Cap. I went in and checked the room myself. There was no way for Buck to leave except the way he came. No reason for a kid to be down there at all. Plus…well. Ask him,” Hen said. 

Bobby dropped down to the kid’s eye level. His face was covered in soot, and his eyes were wide and confused, but he seemed unharmed. 

“Hello. I’m Bobby. What’s your name?” 

“Where’s my dad?” The boy’s voice was hoarse but not timid. 

“I’m going to help you find him, but I need to know who you are first.” 

“Evan Buckley.” 

“Do you recognize me?” 

Buck shook his head. “I don’t know any of you. I just want to go home.” 

“I know. I’m going to do what I can to get you there. How old are you?” 

“I’ll be eight in three months.” 

That tracked. Buck’s birthday was in three months. “Who else knows about this?” 

“Nobody. Gerrard wasn’t really paying attention, so we told him Buck needed to be checked out for smoke inhalation and used the ambulance to get him out of there. By then the 137 showed up,” Hen answered. “We weren’t really sure what to do. I’m sorry we came here in the middle of the night.” 

“It’s okay. Buck, you hungry? I got milk and cookies.” 

“My name isn’t Buck. It’s Evan.” 

“Sorry about that, Evan. Come on, let me get you those cookies.” 

“I’m not allowed to have snacks after dinner time.” 

“It’s okay this one time.” 

Bobby offered his hand and Buck looked at it suspiciously before placing his small palm against Bobby’s much larger one. Bobby led him into the kitchen and lifted him onto one of the barstools, Eddie and Hen trailing behind. 

“You two want a snack, too?” 

“Um, Cap? You’re taking this all pretty calmly,” Hen said. 

Bobby shrugged. “Either I’m actually asleep and all of this is a very strange but telling dream, or a seven year old version of Evan Buckley is actually in my kitchen. Either way, freaking out isn’t going to solve anything.” He especially didn’t want to panic in front of the boy who was looking at him with wide eyes, tracking his every movement as he took the cookies from the cupboard and poured a glass of milk. 

“So…you got this?” Eddie asked. “Because we need to get back before…” 

“Yeah. Go. We’ll meet tomorrow and–” 

“Who is this child in my kitchen?” Athena asked from the doorway, her robe held closed with a hasty knot, arms folded across her chest. 

Hen and Eddie exchanged a look before Hen said,  “I’m sorry, Athena, no time to chat. We’re still on the clock. Bye.” 

Bobby rolled his eyes. Cowards. And then he realized he had no idea what to tell his wife. She was definitely not going to accept that this little boy was Evan Buckley, but if he told her it was a random kid from a fire she would be on the phone to DFS immediately. Lying wasn’t really an option anyway because she could look right through his skull and see the truth. 

“Well?” Athena asked once they heard the front door close. 

“I’m hungry,” Buck whined, and Bobby realized he hadn’t actually passed his snack over. 

“Sorry. Here you go.” He looked up, meeting Athena’s eyes. “We’re still trying to work that out.” 

“You don’t know who this boy is? Then what is he doing here ?” 

“He needs a safe place to stay while we sort it out.” 

Athena’s eyebrow crawled up her forehead. “You know that’s not how this works. We can’t have random missing children staying in our house, Bobby. We need to call the proper authorities right now.” 

Bobby held up his hand. “I know. I agree. But it’s the middle of the night. I’ll get it sorted out in the morning.” 

“Where is he going to sleep?” The house had two spare bedrooms but neither one of them had furniture in them yet. 

“I’ll get him set up on the couch, and then first thing in the morning, we’ll go to DFS and see if they can track down his parents.” Or they would go to Maddie’s house to see if she could identify him. 

Athena didn’t exactly look impressed. Bobby was sure the conversation would not be over in any other circumstance, but she yawned widely and waved her hand at him as if to say I sure hope you know what you’re doing . 

He didn’t have a clue what he was doing. But whether or not he had a plan, this was happening, and he couldn’t think of one reason why this little boy couldn’t be Evan Buckley, except for the very obvious one. 

“How come she doesn’t like me?” 

Bobby turned around with a reassuring smile. “She likes you fine, Bu–Evan.” 

“No, she doesn’t. She wants me to go.” 

“She’s just worried about you, that’s all. Wants to make sure that you get taken care of.” 

“Can’t you take care of me?” 

“For tonight. How are those cookies?” 

“They’re good,” Buck answered, kicking his feet against the counter. “What is this place?” 

“My house?” 

“No, I mean, where am I?” 

“Oh, this is Los Angeles.” 

Buck’s face screwed up into a confused frown. “Like in California?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How did I get here?” 

“Well, we’re going to figure that out. Are you tired? Probably had a long day.” 

The frown turned troubled. “I don’t remember it. Where’s my sister?” 

“Maddie?” 

Buck brightened at the name. “Yeah! Maddie! Is she here? Can I see her?” 

“Yeah, of course you can. We’ll go in the morning. Come on, let’s get the couch made up.”  

Bobby offered his hand, but Buck jumped down from the stool without taking it, his little legs racing towards the couch, eager now to go to sleep so he could wake up and see his sister. Bobby put a fresh sheet down on the couch and took one of his pillows from the bed, then covered it in the spare blanket. 

“I don’t have any pajamas.” 

“I know. You can sleep in your clothes tonight and we’ll get you some brand new pajamas tomorrow, how does that sound?” 

“Alright.” 

“Can you wash your face and hands before bed?” 

Buck nodded, so Bobby led him to the bathroom and waited outside the door while he relieved himself, and then washed up. When he emerged, his shirt was soaking wet, and there was water all over the bathroom, as though he’d been in a block-wide water balloon war. 

“Whoa? What happened in here?” 

Buck blinked up at him, the picture of innocence. “The water came out fast.” 

Bobby grabbed a towel and wiped the water from Buck’s face and hands, and pushed his damp hair back from his eyes. “We’ll have to fix that. Alright, you ready for bed?” 

Buck nodded and let Bobby take his hand again to guide him back to the living room. The house was a brand-new build, and it still had that new-car-smell to it. The carpet in the hallway was super thick, and most of the walls were still bare. Everything was customized to Bobby and Athena’s preferences, from the range top in the kitchen to the lighting in the bathroom. It felt like somebody’s else’s house. Bobby hoped when the guest bedrooms were finished and the kids came to visit, it would start to feel more like their home. 

Buck crawled onto the couch and stretched out, crossing his arms over his chest. “Look, I’m a mummy.” 

“Yeah? Should I wrap you up like a mummy?” 

“Yeah! Good and tight!” 

“Okay.” Bobby folded the edge of the blanket across his torso and tucked it under his body, then did the same with the other side. “Is that tight enough?” 

Buck wiggle a little. “I think the mummies were wrapped tighter.” 

“Probably, but you still need to be able to move! Okay, I’m going to leave this light right here. You remember the way to the bathroom?” 

Buck nodded. 

“I’ll just be down the hall. Yell if you need me.” 

“Okay. What’s your name again?” 

“Bobby.” 

Buck nodded. “Bobby. Got it. Good night, Bobby.” 

“Good night, Evan. Sweet dreams.” 

Bobby lingered in the hallway for a moment, waiting to see if Evan would try to get off the couch, but he didn’t move. He might have already been asleep. Buck could fall asleep any time, anywhere. Satisfied that everything was under control, Bobby returned to his bedroom, slipped off his robe, and tried to ease back onto the bed without disturbing his wife. 

“Who is that boy?” Athena asked without opening her eyes. 

Bobby sighed, wrapping an arm around her to pull her closer. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” 

“Bobby.” 

“Don’t worry, we’ll get him to his family tomorrow.” 

Bobby wasn’t sure why Eddie and Hen brought little Evan here instead of directly to Maddie. Maybe they weren’t thinking clearly, given the impossibility of the situation, or maybe Bobby was closer to where the fire was. He wasn’t sorry they brought Buck to him, though. It made his heart ache a little to see the determined list of his little chin, the intelligence in his eyes, the exuberance at being wrapped like a mummy. He didn’t even mind the mess Buck made in the bathroom–the water did come out fast. And if he played a little while he washed up, who could blame him? He clearly had no memories of his life as an adult, and given the circumstances, he was coping remarkably well. 

Bobby was just dozing off when a loud crash from the living room sent him flying out of the bed. He didn’t think, just reacted, running down the hallway to the source of the sound, a million terrible scenarios filling his head. But it wasn’t the Cartel coming to finish the job German started, and it wasn’t a burglar breaking in. It was Evan. Splayed out on the broken couch, looking a little dazed. 

“What happened?” Bobby asked, hurrying to his side. He ran his hands down Evan’s arms and legs, searching for broken bones or broken skin, but he was all in one piece. 

“Um. I jumped.” 

“You jumped? Where were you jumping?” 

Evan pointed to the entertainment center that Bobby had just put together. There was no actual entertainment on it yet. On the left side was a series of empty shelves that probably looked like a pretty convenient ladder to the little boy. 

“You jumped off the top of that thing?” Bobby couldn’t even sound surprised. 

“I just wanted to see if I could.” 

“So you only did it once?” 

“Um. Well.” 

Bobby sighed. Between Buck and the couch, he was glad that it was the couch that appeared to be broken and not Buck’s skull. Athena would not be happy. She picked this couch out herself and it hadn’t been a quick or cheap process. But maybe it was for the best. What kind of couch busted from what couldn’t have been more than fifty pounds landing on it? 

“Well, kiddo, now where are you going to sleep?” 

“Can I sleep in your room?” 

“No.” And now Bobby wouldn’t be, either. “You ever go camping, Evan?” 

“No.” 

“What? Really?” 

Buck shrugged. “It’s too dangerous.” 

“The backyard is safe. Here, you take the blanket and the pillow. I’ll grab these cushions.” 

The night was warm–still over seventy degrees–and there were a handful of stars visible overhead. Perfect night for backyard camping. Evan was so charmed by the novelty of it that he was happy to crawl into the bed Bobby made for him and stare up at the sky, enthralled by the few specks of light he could see. Bobby sat up with him, watching until his little body quieted down and he finally fell asleep. It was a shame, really, that he couldn’t stay there. Bobby thought he would have rather liked spending time with this version of Evan, but Athena was right, even if she didn’t know the whole story. Evan belonged with his family. 

#

“Hey, Cap! What brings you on this fine–wait.” Chimney blinked at the little blond boy holding Bobby’s hand. “Who is this?” 

“Can we come in?” 

“Yeah, if you tell me where you found this kid?” 

“Did Hen or Eddie call you?” 

Chimney shook his head. “No. Haven’t heard from them today.” 

“Is Maddie here?” 

The boy perked up at the sound of Maddie’s name. “Maddie? Is Maddie here? I want to see Maddie!” 

“No, she’s at work. You just missed her. How does this kid know Maddie? Who is this kid?” 

Bobby pushed past him with a deep sigh. 

“Yeah, sure. Bring a strange kid into my house,” Chim muttered. “Are you going to tell me what this is all about?” 

“Go on,” Bobby said, gently pushing the kid forward. “Tell him your name.” 

“Evan Buckley.” 

Chimney blinked. Look at Bobby. Looked back down to the kid. Blinked again. “What the fu–” 

“It’s true,” Bobby said quickly. “Well, pretty sure it’s true.” 

“He’s not Buck . Is he Buck’s kid? Did some poor woman drop him off at the station?” 

“No. Eddie said it happened on a call. Buck went ahead of him through a door and there was a bright light, and when he got there, Buck was gone, and he  was standing there. In Buck’s turnouts.” 

“Are you okay, Cap? You don’t have encephalitis do you?” 

“No, I don’t have encephalitis.” 

“You sure?” Chimney stepped closer and studied Bobby’s eyes. “There’s no gas leak in the new house?” 

“There’s no gas leak.” 

“Did you hit your head?” 

“No.” 

“Where’s Maddie?” Evan demanded. 

“She’s at work, Buckaroo.” The answer, and the nickname, came so easily that Chimney frowned with confusion. He looked closer at the boy’s face and noticed the strawberry birthmark above his eye. And the fact that he looked like somebody shrunk Buck in the dryer. “How?” 

“I don’t know. I was thinking I’d go over to the building today, poke around, see if there’s anything. Can Evan stay here?” 

“Um. Yeah? I guess so. I was just about to start breakfast for Jee and Mara. What about you, Buckaroo? You hungry?” 

“Why do you call me that?” 

“I always call you Buckaroo.” 

Buck frowned and looked up at Bobby for an explanation. “He’s married to Maddie, Evan. So it’s like he’s your brother.” 

“Maddie’s not married.” He looked back to Chimney. “Her boyfriend is Doug. You’re not Doug.” 

“Damn right I’m not Doug. I am way better than that jerk.” 

The frown disappeared from Buck’s face. “You don’t like Doug?” 

“Honestly, kid, I hate him.” 

“Me, too!” 

“Okay,” Bobby said. “I think you two are going to be fine. Call me if there’s an emergency. Oh, and Chim, whatever you do not forget that this is Buck.” 

That sounded…ominous. “Aye, Captain.” 

Bobby turned to the door and Buck ran after him, catching his hand just before he reached for the knob. “Wait. Are you leaving me? Don’t leave me.” 

Bobby dropped down to eye level. “I gotta go check on some things. I’ll be back.” 

“Don’t go.” Buck’s bottom lip quivered and his eyes shimmered with tears.  “Please don’t go.” 

“Shh, hey, don’t cry. I promise, I’ll be back. And Chimney is your family.” 

“I don’t know him!” 

“Well, you’ll get to know him.” Bobby smoothed Buck’s hair away from his face. “You two will be fast friends, I promise. And then I’ll be back.” 

Tears rolled from the corners of his eyes and down his cheeks, but he didn’t make a sound. Chimney would have preferred a good old-fashioned tantrum to silent crying.  He could see Bobby didn’t want to leave him there like that, and he went over to gently touch Buck’s shoulder. 

“Hey, Bobby will be back. Do you know how to cook?” 

Buck sniffed and wiped his face with the back of his fist. “No.” 

“Well, that’s okay, I don’t either. Let’s go figure out how to make eggs.” 

Buck sniffed again. “I like pancakes” 

“Then we’ll find a pancake recipe. Come on.” 

With Buck sufficiently distracted, Bobby was able to slip out the door. It was absolutely insane. There was no way this could be Buck, and yet, Chimney knew in his heart that this little boy was indeed Evan Buckley. Chimney lifted him from the floor and set him on the counter so he could see what was going on. 

“Alright. Pancakes. Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes. How do we make pancakes.” Chimney took hs phone from his pocket. “Siri, pancake recipe.” 

“What’s that?” 

“It’s my phone.” 

“You have a phone in your pocket?” 

“Yeah. You never saw a cell phone before?” 

Buck shook his head. “My mom has a cordless phone.” 

“Yeah, it’s a little like that. But it does a lot of other things, too. Look, see?” Chimney said, showing him the screen. “It’s telling us how to make pancakes. Cool, right?” 

“Cool,” Buck agreed, his tears all dried up now. 

“Okay, Buckaroo. Can you read?” 

Buck rolled his eyes. “I could read since I was five.” 

“Wow, that’s impressive. Okay, your job is to read this recipe to me so I know what to do.” 

Buck rattled off the ingredients one by one, pronouncing each line of the recipe with supreme confidence. The first batch of pancakes were of the skillet when Mara and Jee emerged from their rooms, lured by the scent of a freshly cooked breakfast. 

“Who’s this?” Jee demanded as soon as she saw Buck sitting on the counter.

“This is Evan. He’s your cousin,” Chimney said smoothly. Both of the girls knew him as Uncle Buck–a fact that pleased Chimney to this day–so they both accepted the explanation without question. “He’s visiting from Hershey.” 

“Who’s his mom and dad?” Jee asked. 

“You don’t know them.” 

“Phillip and Margaret Buckley,” Evan said at the same time. Which also meant nothing to Jee, who had never called her grandparents by their first names. 

“Okay girls, who’s ready for some pancakes! Jee, help Mara set the table please.” Chimney lifted Buck off the counter. “Thanks for your help, Buckaroo. I think we make a good team.” 

At first, all three of the kids were happy to focus on their breakfast, but their curiosity about each other grew as their hunger subsided. Jee wanted to know more about this mysterious cousin she had never seen or heard of before, and Mara simply stared at him. Chimney had the uneasy feeling she was putting the pieces together. She was a very observant girl, probably from a lifetime of watching out for the smallest details that could predict the biggest moments. Buck mainly focused on the food, carefully using a butter knife to cut pancakes into perfect triangle bites, and then eating them one by one. He didn’t rush, he didn’t talk with his mouthful, he had perfect table manners. Even better than adult Buck’s. 

It was creepy. 

It would have been creepy no matter what to see a kid that age eat with such careful etiquette, but it was even more creepy because Chimney knew Phillip and Margaret Buckley. He had a feeling that Buck didn’t have such great table manners because he was afraid of being punished for speaking with his mouth full, but because he wanted to be praised for doing something right. He wanted to be noticed. 

“You like your pancakes, Buckaroo?” 

Buck finished chewing his food, carefully patted his mouth with his napkin, and nodded enthusiastically.  “Yes, thank you. They’re very good.” 

“Well, I had good help. I should be the one thanking you.” 

Buck beamed at him–a smaller version of the radiant smile Chimney had seen every time Bobby had told him he did a good job. 

“Do you want to play?” Mara asked softly. 

“Me? Yeah!” Buck looked to Chimney. “Can I be excused?” 

“Yeah, go have fun.” 

All three kids took off from the table at the same time, Jee shouting, “Barbies! Barbies!” Chimney wasn’t sure if Buck would be a big fan of Barbies, but Maddie was his sister and his closest companion as a child, so probably. 

Maddie. Should he call her and tell her what was going on? Give her a warning of what she would find when she got home? What could he possibly say? How do you tell somebody their little brother was actually little again? And god, what if he never got big? What if this curse, or nightmare, or whatever it was never ended? Would they have to raise him, too? Two kids was pushing it, but three kids…especially when one of those kids was Buck …might actually put them in the poorhouse. 

Chimney cleared the table and tidied the kitchen, listening for any signs that the peace and harmony of playtime was over, and turning the problem over and over in his head. What if he didn’t call her and let her work her entire shift only to be surprised by Baby Buck when she got home? Would she be angry he didn’t call her home sooner? Fuck, why wasn’t this covered in the Marriage for Dummies book? 

His phone buzzed, and he thought it might be Maddie since she usually texted him when he thought about her hard enough, but it wasn’t. It was Tommy. 

Hey have you heard from Evan today? 

“Fuck.” 

“Daddy! You said a bad word!” 

Fuck . “What are you doing out here Jee-bug?” 

“I need a drink.” 

“You and me both, kid. Want a juice box?” 

“Yeah!” 

“Okay, go ask Evan an Mara if they want one, too.” 

“Okay!” 

They did, so Chimney stabbed a straw in a box for each of them, not even thinking about what might happen when he added that much more sugar to what they already had for breakfast. Things had been pretty quiet when they were just entertaining themselves with Jee’s toys, but Chimney should have known that would never last. After all, how long could Buck sit quietly? 

“Hey! Don’t run in the house!” Chimney shouted after them the first time they raced by him, Jee leading the pack with screams of delight, Mara right behind her, laughing, and Evan hot on their heels, roaring. 

“But Daddy! Evan is a dinosaur and he’ll eat us!” 

“No running!” Chimney warned again. “Or else it’ll be quiet time.” 

So, they all very carefully slowed down every time they came within eyesight, and then took off again once they passed through the kitchen, screaming and roaring and laughing. And then suddenly the fun screams stopped and the upset screams started. 

“Jee! What’s wrong?” Chimney asked, hurrying to her side. “What happened?” 

“Evan pushed me!” Jee wailed and pointed at her knee. “It hurts!” 

“I didn’t push you,” Buck shouted back. 

“He did,” Mara added. 

“You’re lying!” 

“Hey, hey, no fighting. Jee, come here, we’ll check your knee. Mara, go wait in your room.” 

“Why do I have to go to my room? I didn’t do anything!” 

“Because I can’t send Evan to his room, okay? Please?” 

“Fine,” Mara huffed. 

“Don’t go Mara,” Jee cried, reaching for her friend. 

“I didn’t do anything!” Buck was still shouting, his face red with anger. “I always get blamed for stuff I didn’t do!” 

Chimney had the feeling Buck got blamed for plenty of stuff he did do. “Okay, Evan. Nobody’s accusing you of anything.” 

“They said I pushed her and I didn’t!” 

Chimney’s phone started to ring. He shifted Jee over to his other arm and fished the phone from his pocket. “Hey, honey. How’s work?” 

“Is that Jee? What happened? Why is she crying?” Maddie asked. 

“It is. She had a little accident is all. We’re getting her cleaned up right now.” 

“I didn’t! I didn’t push her!” Buck continued to protest his innocence at the top of his lungs. 

“Who’s shouting?” 

“Well, I was just about to call you–” 

“Evan pushed me, Mommy!” 

“What? Did she just call Buck, Evan?” 

“No. Well, yes, technically.” Chimney looked down and saw Jee’s pants and saw blood soaking through the knee. “Shoot. Okay, I gotta go. She’s bleeding. I’ll call you back in a minute.” 

“She’s what ? I’m coming home.” 

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. See you in a minute. Love you!” 

Jee had a pretty bad scrape on her knee, but that wasn’t the only injury. Both of her hands were scraped where she tried to catch herself, and she had a bruise on her chin. Chimney only hoped she didn’t get a fat lip from it. Mara’s caseworker could stop by at any time, and having one of the kids covered in bruises and scrapes would not be a good look. 

Chimney was so busy going through the ritual of cleaning, bandaging and kissing the owies that he didn’t really notice when things got quiet. 

Too quiet. 

A level of quiet that was never good when it involved Buck. A happy Buck was a noisy Buck. Come to think of it, any Buck was a noisy Buck. 

“Evan?” 

Chimney lifted Jee into his arms again, scanning the kitchen and living room for any signs of the boy. 

“Evan? Where are you?” 

He walked down the hallway, checking the bathroom and then each of the bedrooms. Mara was sitting on her bed with a book. 

“Have you seen Evan?” 

She shook her head and pointedly returned to her book. 

Chimney wasn’t the sort of person to panic in an emergency. When everything sped up around him, things slowed in his mind. But as he checked the backyard and patio and there were still no signs of Evan, an unfamiliar sensation started to claw up his throat. What if he lost Buck? Bobby would kill him. Maddie would kill him. Tommy would kill him. 

Fuck. He never replied to Tommy’s text, which probably meant he was also looking for Buck at that very moment and getting frantic himself. 

Chimney hurried to the front door, calling Evan’s name as he pulled it open, but the yard there was empty, too. He looked up and down the street, but there were no signs of him. 

“Evan go bye-bye, Daddy.” 

“What do you mean? Did you see him, honey?” 

“Yeah.” 

“When?” 

“When you fixed my knee.” 

Yep. No question about it. Chimney was a dead man. 

#

Logically, Maddie knew there was no reason to rush home over every single scrape and bruise. She was married to a paramedic, he was more than capable of handling some owies from playing a bit too hard. He hadn’t even sounded that worried about it, but he did sound stressed out. Very stressed out. All of that might not have been enough to tell Sue she needed to leave early, but something strange was going on. Why did she call him Evan instead of Uncle Buck? Why would she ever say that he pushed her? What the hell did no but technically yes even mean? 

And why did she have such a bad feeling right under her sternum? It was a pain that she had come to associate with Evan when they were kids. The bad feeling she got just before he fell out of a tree, or sometimes after he fell out of one. The feeling she got when he was about to do something very ill-advised, like pick a fight with a kid twice his size, or sneak out of his window after bedtime, or try to jump his skateboard over a car. Whatever the reason for it now, Maddie’s Evan sense was activated, and she knew better than to ignore it. 

Los Angeles traffic was at its usual pain-in-the-ass level, but she was getting pretty good at navigating the surface streets that would get her home the quickest. She dialed Evan’s phone while she was sitting at red lights, but each time it just went right to voicemail. The bad feeling in her chest got worse. 

Maddie took the turn off the main road into her neighborhood and nearly drove into a parked car. There on the sidewalk just ahead was a ghost. 

“Daniel?”

The little boy with blond hair looked up and she slammed on her brakes, put the car in park, and threw her door open. 

“Evan?” 

The kid stopped in his tracks and looked at her with curious, intelligent eyes, his birthmark bright pink against his red skin. “Who are you?” 

An instinct stopped her from blurting out her name. If this was Evan, he clearly didn’t remember her and might not believe her if she told him. 

“I’m a friend of Chimney’s. Is that where you were before?” 

Evan crossed his arms defiantly. “Yes and I’m not going back.” 

“Oh? Where are you going?” 

“To Bobby’s.” 

“Bobby’s? He lives pretty far away.” 

“I can walk.” 

“Oh, I know you can.” Not only that he could, but also that he would . Well, he would try anyway, and who knew where he’d end up, because he certainly didn’t know the way to Bobby’s. “But it’s awfully hot out here and he lives pretty far away. Maybe I can give you a ride?” 

“I’m not supposed to ride with strangers.” 

“That’s good advice, yeah. But I’m not a stranger. I know your mom.” 

Evan’s posture softened, his arms falling to his side. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Her name is Margaret and she teaches third grade at Hershey Elementary. We’re friends.” 

He tilted his head, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “How come I never saw you before?” 

“Well because I live here in California, but we talk on the phone all the time.” 

“Can you…can you call her for me? I want to go home.” 

The pain in Maddie’s chest moved up to her throat and felt like a ball of tears. “Yeah. Yeah, I can call her.” 

“I don’t know why I’m here.” 

“We’ll figure it out together,” she said, offering her hand. 

And her sweet, trusting little brother took it. She wanted to pull him into her arms and hug him and never let him go, but she didn’t want to freak him out more than he already was. She led him over to the car and buckled him into the passenger seat. 

“How come you don’t want to go back to Chimney’s?” Maddie asked casually. 

“Because they said I pushed Jee but I didn’t . She tripped. I saw her trip.” 

“Oh. Well, I know you didn’t push her.” 

“You…you believe me?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How come you do? They didn’t.” 

“Because, Evan, I know you would never push anybody.” Anytime he did get into a fight with anybody, it was in defense of somebody else. Evan didn’t like bullies. He was never one to stand by when he saw what he considered to be an injustice. 

“Is she really hurt?” 

“No, I don’t think so. But we could go and check on her if you want?” 

Evan thought about that for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, we should check on her.” 

“Okay. We’ll do that. You know, you got pretty far. You’re a fast walker.” 

“I’m a fast runner, too!” 

“The fastest at your school?” 

“Oh, no, I’m not fast like the older boys. But I’m fastest in my class!” 

“That’s still pretty impressive. You could be a track star one day.” 

“My mom said I can’t do sports.” 

Right. Of course. Maddie didn’t remember Evan putting up a fight when he was a bit older and all the other boys joined baseball and basketball and football teams, but maybe that was because he had accepted his fate long before, when he wasn’t allowed to be in little league. 

Her phone started ringing, and as soon as she saw Howie’s picture, she knew what the call was about. “Hey, babe. I’ve got him.” 

“You…you got him? You found Buck?” 

“Yes, he was walking to Bobby’s, but he’s with me now.” She smiled at Evan as she spoke, and his chubby cheeks turned pink. “We’re just around the corner.”

“And that is Buck, right? Because Bobby showed up with him today with some wild story and I mean, I think it’s him but–” 

“It’s him,” Maddie said softly. She didn’t know how or why, but she knew without a doubt. She would know him anywhere, no matter what. “We’ll see you in a minute.” 

“Was that Chimney?” 

“Yes.” 

“Is he very mad at me?” 

“Mad at you? Oh no, Evan, of course not. He’s happy you’re safe.” 

“How come you call me Evan? Everybody else calls me Buck.” 

“Do you want me to call you Buck?” 

“No! I hate it!” 

“Then I’ll keep calling you Evan.”

Chimney and Jee were waiting on the front porch as she pulled into the driveway. She could see the bandaid on Jee’s knee, but otherwise she was all cleaned up and didn’t look the worse for wear. 

“See? They missed you.” 

Evan smiled and waved back, and whatever drama happened earlier seemed to be completely forgotten as Evan jumped out of the car and raced across the yard to meet his niece. 

“Oh my god, thank god you found him. My life flashed before my eyes.” 

“He’s very fast.” 

“No kidding! I didn’t even realize he was out the door.”  Chimney opened the door, holding it as the kids and Maddie crossed the threshold. “Bet your happy to see your sister.” 

Evan spun around, his eyes wide. “Where’s my sister?” 

“Um, right here. This is Maddie.” 

Maddie moved quickly, shutting the door before Evan could bolt again. She could see it written all over his stricken face. 

“That’s not my sister!” 

“Sure it is, Buckaroo.” 

“Don’t call me that! Where’s Maddie! I want Maddie!” 

“She’s right–”

“Howie. Don’t.” 

Evan was building up a head of steam now, tears streaking his face and his feet stomping with the force of his anger. “What did you do to her? Where is she? Where’s Maddie? I want my sister!” 

“Evan, honey–” Maddie reached out to touch his shoulder, but he yanked away so hard he almost fell down. 

“Don’t touch me! You took my sister! You took her! Where is she?” With his only exit out of the house blocked, he spun around and raced down the hallway, shouting “Maddie! Maddie!” as he ran. When he reached Jee’s room, he slammed the door behind him so hard the picture frames rattled on the wall. 

“I thought he knew,” Howie said. 

“No, I didn’t tell him.”

“Because you knew he’d react that way?” 

“I thought he probably would.” 

“Well. Now what?” 

Maddie wiped a hand over her face and sighed. “Now I wake up from this too-real nightmare and go to work.” 

“Sorry, babe, but this isn’t your nightmare, it’s mine. And I’ve already tried to wake up. Not happening.” 

“Mommy, mommy.” 

“What baby girl?” 

“Evan’s in my room.” 

Maddie picked her up. “I know.” 

“I want my toys.” 

“You can have your toys in a minute, sweetheart.” 

Her face started to crumble, and in that moment she looked exactly as horrified and betrayed as Evan did before he ran away from them. 

“Where’s Mara?” 

“In her room. Mad at me. Because I sent her to her room.” 

“Right, okay.” Jee was sobbing now, though Maddie thought that was probably more because she was over-stimulated and tired than she was upset about the bedroom situation. “See if you can get her to go down for a nap, and I’ll see if I can coax Evan out.” 

Maddie knew before she even said a word that she would not get very far. Evan was a good kid and a sweetheart, but he was almost as stubborn as a mule, and when he dug his heels in, he really dug in. The only person who could get him out of one of those moods was Maddie, but what could she do if he didn’t recognize her and he didn’ believe her? 

“Evan? Can I come in?” 

“No! Go away! I want my sister!” 

“I know. She’s okay, Evan. She’s safe and sound at home.” 

“You did something to her! Or else she’d be with me! She would never leave me alone like this.” His voice broke on the final word and she heard the sob escape his throat. Her own eyes started to water. 

“I know, I know she wouldn’t, Evan. She loves you very much.” 

“Go away! I want Bobby!” 

“Okay! Yeah, okay, I’ll call Bobby for you!” 

“I’ve been trying to get him,” Howie said as she returned to the living room. “I don’t know what he’s doing but he must be busy because he’s not answering.” 

Maddie sighed. “Well, he doesn’t trust us. He’s not going to come out for us.” 

Howie’s phone started ringing. 

“Please tell me that’s Bobby.” 

“It’s Tommy. Maybe he should come over. Buck does love him, after all.” 

“Yeah, but what is he going to do? Evan doesn’t even know him.” 

“You know they have this weird telepathic soul-matey bond going on,” Howie pointed out. “What can it hurt? Besides, I guarantee he is freaking out right now.” 

“What do you mean? He doesn’t know ?” 

“I didn’t tell him, and he keeps texting asking if I heard from Evan. I’m telling him to come over.”

“Fine.” It wasn’t like she had any better ideas at the moment. 

“Hey, Tommy. Yeah, yeah, he’s here. You should come over.” 

Chapter Text

Tommy was about to lose his fucking mind. 

He hadn’t quite lost it yet, but he was holding onto it with the tips of his fingernails. When Evan didn’t show up that morning, he wasn’t that worried at first. Sometimes Evan went to the loft right after his shift ended to shower and grab a few things, especially if they had four days off together. So Tommy didn’t panic when he woke up at 6:30 and expected to see Evan but saw nothing but his empty bed. 

But when he woke up again two hours later, and Evan still wasn’t there, he started to be concerned. He called Evan’s phone and it went directly to voicemail. He called Ravi to see if Evan was still at the firehouse–unlikely but not impossible–but Ravi hadn’t seen him at all . He called Evan’s phone again. He called Eddie and left a voicemail. He called the hospital, who couldn’t confirm or deny if a patient was there due to HIPAA but they could tell him no firefighters were admitted the night before. He texted Howie.  He went to the loft. Not only was Evan not there, there were no signs he’d been there in the past week. He called Bobbie. He called Hen. Nobody answered. He was beginning to think they were avoiding him on purpose. 

It wasn’t like Evan to simply not answer his phone. It wasn’t like Evan to disappear. He called Tommy if he was going to be five minutes late due to traffic. Evan hated it when plans changed. Tommy didn’t want to jump to the worst possible conclusions, but he was running out of options before he started calling emergency rooms across the city. He’d even call Gerrard if he had to. 

Finally, Howie answered the phone. 

“Hey, Tommy. Yeah he’s here.” 

“When did he get there? What’s going on? Is he okay?” 

“You should come over,” was the only response before Howie hung up. 

“What the fuck is that?” But he couldn’t be too annoyed because at least he had a goal, an actual destination. At least he knew where Evan was, even if he didn’t know what state he might find Evan in. And fortunately, he was already on the road and heading in the general direction of Howie and Maddie’s house. 

Once he arrived, Tommy didn’t even have to knock. Howie pulled open the door with an expression Tommy couldn’t read. He looked worried but not devastated, stressed but not frantic, tired but not sleepless. 

“What’s going on, man? Where’s Evan?” 

“He’s in Jee’s room,” Maddie said, and she looked like she’d been crying. Her eyes and nose were red, and she didn’t smile. She was holding Jee against her hip, and the toddler looked like she’d been crying too. 

“What is Evan doing in there? Is he hurt? Can somebody please tell me what’s going on?” Tommy said, doing his best to keep his voice low and even. He didn’t want to start yelling, even if he felt like he was a rubber band stretched far too tight, seconds away from snapping back. 

“He’s not hurt,” Maddie said quickly. “He’s just….he’s not…himself.” 

“What the fuck does that mean?” 

“Evan is little,” Jee volunteered. “We were playing and I hurt my knee.” 

“Evan is…little?” 

“Bobby showed up earlier today with a little blond boy and a pretty crazy story, but turns out that the kid is Buck,” Howie said, as if that explained anything. 

“Are you…are you on drugs? Is that what is happening here?” 

“No,” Maddie said softly. “No drugs.” 

“Yeah, and no head injuries or gas leaks, either. Also we’re pretty sure this is not a shared nightmare. Whatever it is…it’s really happening. I mean I get it, it sounds crazy. But you can see for yourself.” 

Tommy looked down the hallways to the closed bedroom door. “So I’m going to go back there and he’s going to jump out of a closet and yell surprise or something? Guys, this isn’t funny. I’ve been worried sick about him.” 

“It’s not a joke.” 

Tommy might have scoffed at her again, but she sounded like she was going to cry. Or she was in the middle of crying. Howie could keep a pretty straight face when he needed to, and Tommy didn’t know Maddie well enough to know for sure how she handled practical jokes, but he had a very, very hard time imagining this woman shouting “surprise” and clapping her hands and laughing within the next thirty seconds. 

“Okay. I’ll…I’ll go see for myself. What’s he doing back there?” 

“He’s upset. He doesn’t remember any of us. He thinks I’m lying about being his sister because I’m not sixteen. I mean, you’d be upset too if you were surrounded by strangers and had no idea where you were, right?” 

Tommy was upset now . A headache had bloomed in the back of his skull in the five minutes since his arrival, and he was pretty sure his blood pressure was at an unhealthy level. But he was done talking. Regardless of what waited for him behind that door, he just wanted to see Evan. 

The knob turned easily in hand, but Tommy still hesitated before pushing the door open. He knocked gently. “Evan?” 

“Go away!” That definitely sounded like a kid. 

“Can I come in?” 

“No! Leave me alone!” 

Not a great start, and Tommy still felt like this had to be a prank, but whoever the kid was sounded a lot like Evan did when his feelings were hurt. Tommy took a deep breath and pushed the door open. 

The boy sat in the middle of the room, surrounded by toys and dolls, elbows on his knees, chin resting in his palm. His chubby cheeks were a splotchy red, and his eyes were puffy and wet, his blue eyes swimming when he looked up. His lower lip stuck out in a pout that was so cute Tommy almost wanted to laugh, and above his eye was the pink birthmark Tommy had kissed a thousand times in the past six months. 

“Hey Evan.” 

Evan wiped his hand across his nose. “Who are you?” 

“I’m…a friend.” 

Evan scoffed. “Yeah, that’s what everybody says. They all say they’re a friend of my parents, but they aren’t. My parents don’t have any friends. They must think I’m stupid or something.” 

Tommy had to smile a little at that. “I’m not a friend of your parents. I don’t really even know them. I’m your friend, though.” 

Evan shook his head. “Bobby’s my friend.” 

“Yeah, he is. Bobby’s a really good friend. I’ve known him a long time.” Tommy advanced a few steps into the room. “I heard you had a rough morning.” 

His bottom lip started to tremble. “Everybody tells lies here. I want to go home.” 

“Yeah. Hey, what you got there? Is that a firetruck?” 

“Fire engine,” Evan corrected. 

“Oh, right. Sorry. It’s not even a real one, it’s just a dumb toy for dumb babies.” He sounded more tired than angry, and he absently dragged the fire engine back and forth on the carpet.

“You ever see a real fire engine?” 

“Yeah!” Evan brightened. “Yeah, I have! Our class went to the fire house and we got to see the fire engine and we even got to go inside!” 

“Wow, that’s pretty cool.” Tommy felt like he was having an out of body experience, standing there in the middle of Jee’s room, amidst her miniature bed and furniture, talking to a miniature version of Evan about a miniature fire engine. He dropped into a crouch so he could speak to Evan at eye level. “I’m a firefighter.” 

“You are?” 

“Yep.” 

Evan’s eyes widened and the pout disappeared from his mouth. “Do you ride around in a fire engine?” 

“I used to. These days I usually ride in a helicopter.” 

“A helicopter? Can I see?” He looked so enthralled and sounded so hopeful, like the entire future of his happiness rested on Tommy showing him a helicopter. 

“Yeah, I think that can be arranged. Do you mind waiting here while I go make a call?” 

“I can wait!” 

“Good man. I’ll be right back.” 

Tommy straightened and managed to close the door behind him before he had a bit of a break-down, doubling over to catch his breath like he had just spent an hour running wind sprints. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck was all he could think as he slowly made his way back to the front room where Howie and Maddie waited. 

“Guys. That’s Evan.” 

“Yeah,” Maddie agreed, and now Tommy understood why she sounded so emotional. 

Tommy rubbed his hands together. “He wants to go see my helicopter. Maybe that’ll help distract him from the fact that he knows everybody is lying to him and he probably thinks he’s been kidnapped.” 

“I think that’s a great idea,” Howie said. 

“Maddie?” 

“I…I don’t know. I mean, I’m not his mom but I am, you know, responsible for him.” 

“I’m not going to let anything happen to him.” 

“Oh, I know. I know that. It’s just…he’s so small. I don’t even remember him ever being that small.” She covered her face with her hands and took a deep breath while Howie rubbed her back. “But…if he doesn’t get moving and get distracted soon, he’s probably going to go off.” 

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed. “Probably.” 

“We’ll call you when Bobby gets back to us. He said he’s going to check out the site, but he I can’t get a hold of him.” 

“This happened on a call?” 

“Yeah. Eddie told Bobby and Bobby told me that there was a bright light and then Eddie found little Evan in Buck’s turnouts and helmet.” Howie frowned. “God, I hope Bobby hasn’t been turned into little Bobby.” 

“You and me both. Did he come here with anything?” 

“Just the clothes on his back.” 

“Does he need lunch?” 

“Wouldn’t hurt. It’s been awhile since breakfast and kids do need to be fed three times a day.” 

“Right. Okay. Yeah.” 

Tommy didn’t have any siblings, so he didn’t have any nieces or nephews. Evan always watched Jee at his loft and had never even brought her over to Tommy’s house. The conversation he just had with Evan was the longest conversation he ever had with any child in his entire life. Including the span of time when he was a child himself. It was absolutely insane to take Evan away from the people who actually knew what to do with kids. He wasn’t a babysitter. 

But it wasn’t some random kid he didn’t know. It was Evan . He loved hanging out with Evan. And Evan loved learning new things. It would be fine. 

He hoped. 

Evan was waiting right where Tommy left him, his hopeful smile returning as Tommy opened the door. “Can we go now?” 

“Yep, we can go now. Come on.” 

Evan jumped to his feet and shouted with joy, and Tommy reacted without thinking, reaching out to catch his shirt before he could take off for the door. 

“No running in the house. It’s dangerous.” 

“Okay.” 

Tommy let go of his shirt, but kept his hand on the warm spot between Evan’s shoulders, guiding him through the house to the front door. He didn’t even look at Maddie or Howie, and Tommy saw the flash of hurt in Maddie’s eyes before she looked down. 

“I’ll call you,” Tommy promised. 

Maddie nodded with a watery smile. 

“Is that your truck?” Evan asked, his voice awed as he looked at the F-150 Quad Cab. It didn’t really stand out in his usual circles, but he supposed it looked like a tank to Evan. 

“Yep. You want me to help you up?” 

Evan nodded, allowing himself to be lifted into the backseat. “Why do I have to ride back here?” 

“That’s the safest spot for you.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because I’m a firefighter.” 

And that was apparently all Evan needed to hear. He didn’t voice another complaint, and Tommy checked the seatbelt three times to make sure it was correctly placed and tightened. He was still going to crawl through Los Angeles at twenty-five miles per hour, and stick to the quietest side streets, even if it tacked another hour to the journey to Harbor. Because Maddie was right. He was awfully, awfully small. And anything that small was fragile. If anything happened to Evan while he was under Tommy’s care, he would never forgive himself. 

Getting Evan out of the house turned his mood around exactly like Tommy thought it would. He could tell Evan was feeling better because he asked about a thousand questions, curious about every single thing he could see through the window. Tommy did his best to keep up with them, answering what he could, and trying to follow the winding thread’s of Evan’s logic, but he mostly jumped from topic to topic without any clear link between them. Which was really no different than how most of their conversations went. 

Nobody gave him a second look as he led Evan through the designated steps of the Official Tour. Kids came through Harbor all the time, though granted it was usually a whole group of them and not just the one, and also he usually was not the one volunteering to lead those tours. Evan’s unrestrained excitement at every step of the way did attract a few smiles as they passed by, but nobody said Hey Kinard how did you shrink your boyfriend , so Tommy counted it as a win. 

“Can we see the helicopter now?” 

“Yeah, we’re almost there.” 

“Can we go in ?” 

“I don’t see why not.” 

“Can we go up in the air?” 

“No, not today.” 

“Oh.” Evan frowned. “Then when?” 

“Maybe tomorrow, kid.” 

“Alright!” 

It was an easy promise to make. Either Evan was still going to be trapped as a kid, in which case he absolutely deserved a ride in the helicopter, or this curse would be over and he’d be himself again, and he could still have a ride in the helicopter if he remembered Tommy promising it. Hell, he could have whatever he wanted. Immediately. No questions asked. 

“Now don’t touch anything,” Tommy said, lifting Evan into the cockpit. 

“Okay! What’s this?” 

“It’s the yoke. It’s what I use to steer.” 

“Cool. What’s this?” 

“That controls how much fuel the engine gets.” 

“Wow. What’s this?” 

Tommy spent the next thirty minutes explaining every single thing on the dash and then getting into a surprisingly technical conversation about how helicopters actually work. Evan hung on every word, interrupting only when he had a question, and otherwise sat quietly while Tommy pointed to things and talked. Every time he looked over to see if Evan was tuning him out or distracted, all he saw was bright blue eyes looking at him like he was the only person in the universe. Tommy didn’t know what to make of the way that hurt his heart. He felt the same adoration, the same fondness, he always felt, but it was sharper now. Like it was slicing through him. 

What ultimately ended the lecture on aerodynamics was the sound of Evan’s stomach gurgling. 

“Oh wow, it’s getting late. You want to get some lunch, kid?” 

“Yeah.” Evan patted his belly. “I’m hungry. Can we have cake?” 

“We can have cake for dessert. Gotta eat something healthy first.” 

“Is macaroni and cheese healthy?” 

Tommy shrugged. “Sure. Come on.” 

He helped Evan out of the cockpit, and as soon as Evan’s feet hit the ground, he reached for Tommy’s hand, fitting his tiny palm against Tommy’s much larger one with perfect trust. That sharp feeling in Tommy’s chest intensified. 

“Did you always want to be a firefighter pilot?” 

“Yeah. I guess. Do you know what you want to do?” 

“I want to be a veterinarian.” 

“Like animals, do you?” 

“Yeah. Or a marine biologist. They get to work in the ocean and I really like the ocean. Well, I think I like it.” 

“How come you only think you like it?” 

“I’ve never been to an ocean.” 

“Really? Your parents never took you to the beach?” 

“No. Mom says it’s too dangerous and she wouldn’t even let me get swimming lessons.” 

Jesus Christ . That didn’t even make sense. The water was too dangerous so she wanted to make it more dangerous for him? Tommy was pretty ambivalent about Phillip and Margaret Buckley. He’d maybe exchanged ten words total with them. To his knowledge, they have never called Evan just to have a chat or check in on him, and Evan didn’t seem to mind the lack of communication one bit. 

Tommy had been thinking about going back to his house to make lunch, but with that new information, he changed his plans. 

“You like cheeseburgers, Evan?” 

“Yeah!” 

“Okay, we’ll have mac and cheese later for dinner, how’s that sound?” 

“Okay!” 

Tommy went to the nearest In-n-Out, and the line was so long that by the time he got the cheeseburgers, fries, and milkshakes, Evan was passed out. His phone started to ring, and he managed to answer before the shrill alarm woke Evan from his nap. 

“Hey Howie. You hear from Bobby?” 

“Yeah, actually. Good news, he’s not a kid. He also recovered Buck’s phone. Bad news, there was absolutely nothing else at the site. No clues or magic amulets or wizards or anything.” 

“Great.” 

“How’s Evan?” Maddie asked. 

“He’s good. He’s napping  now. We’re going to have a picnic at the beach. Kid’s never seen the ocean.” 

“Oh. Okay. Yeah, he always wanted…you’re not going to let him get in the water, are you?” 

“No, he doesn’t know how to swim. I mean, you guys signed Jee up for swimming lessons, right?” 

“Yeah, yeah, we did the mommy and me lessons last year.” 

Tommy knew Maddie was a sensible, reasonable person, but he was still relieved to hear it. “Alright, I’ll give you a call when we’re done.” 

Knowing that Evan might go running headlong into the surf regardless of his ability to swim, Tommy decided to park at an overlook. He hoped Evan wouldn’t get upset because they weren’t actually on the beach, but he needn’t have worried. He sat up in the backseat as Tommy parked the truck, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and looking around until he caught sight of the deep blue water. 

“Is that…the ocean ?” 

“It is. Do you know which one?” 

“The Pacific,” Evan breathed without hesitation. 

“Yep. You want to sit up here with me and eat your cheeseburger while we have a look?” 

Evan did not need a second invitation to scramble over the top of the front seat, narrowly missing landing on the box of food. He never looked away from the water as he ate, taking small distracted bites, chewing each one slowly while he stared. 

“This is so cool .” Evan wiped his mouth with his sleeve, smearing ketchup everywhere. “Thank you, Tommy.” 

Tommy swallowed around a sudden knot in his throat. “You’re welcome, kid. Here, use this napkin.” 

Evan grinned up at him and wiped his face. Tommy could barely breathe through the sharpening of the ache in his chest. 

Their timing sucked, of course, and they got caught in traffic as they left the beach. Tommy had buckled Evan into the front seat because he was as fascinated by the truck dash as he was by the helicopter dash,  and traffic was so slow any collision would be at very low speeds. 

“Can we listen to music, Tommy?” 

“Sure thing. Here.” Tommy turned the radio on. “See if you can find a good station.”

“You mean, I can pick?” 

“Knock yourself out, kid.” 

Evan couldn’t settle on one station, or even one type of music. He turned the dial through the numbers over and over and over, pausing when he heard something he liked, barely having the patience to get through a whole song. It kept Evan entertained for the entire drive, but Tommy barely heard any of it. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Howie said–Bobby found Evan’s phone and nothing else. What if they couldn’t fix this? What would they even do? How would they deal with the logistical nightmare of raising a whole child that had a grown man’s name, social security number, date of birth? Who would do it? Maddie? What if he never got his boyfriend back? What if Evan never got his life back? 

It didn’t do any good to worry about things he couldn’t control, but Tommy was a planner. He liked to have a strategy. Do nothing and hope it works out was not a strategy he could accept, and yet what choice did he have? All he could do was try to make this bizarre and confusing experience easier for Evan. 

“There’s a lot of people here, huh?” Evan asked, looking out over the endless rows of cars. 

“There are.” 

“Why are there so many people? Do they all want to be movie stars?” 

“Probably. You wanna watch a movie when we get home?” 

“I’m not allowed.” 

“You’re not allowed…to watch movies?” 

“Yeah. Mom says it’ll rot my brain.” 

That explained a lot, actually. “Well, we’ll find one that won’t rot your brain.” 

Tommy’s house had never been kid-proofed and he didn’t even know what dangers might have lurked at child-eye-level. But he didn’t want to upset Evan by taking him back to Maddie’s, and Evan wasn’t asking to go to Bobby’s, and Tommy felt oddly possessive of him. He didn’t want to hand him over to somebody else, even if that somebody else was Evan’s sister. He wanted to keep an eye on him and take care of him. And, honestly, he was having a blast, so it didn’t seem at all weird when they finally reached Tommy’s driveway to carry Evan into the house. 

“Okay, kid. The DVDs are just through there. Go pick one out.” 

Tommy had about two thousand in all, so he was sure Evan would find something he wanted to watch. He sent a quick message to Howie and Bobby, letting them know that Evan was still a kid, still in one piece, and everything was good. 

“Hey, Evan?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You good in there?” 

Evan ran through the doorway. “You have so many movies! It’s like a store!” 

Big Evan had also been impressed with Tommy’s DVD collection the first time he saw it. He probably had never seen so much physical media in one place in his life, but Tommy didn’t think it was that impressive. He wasn’t some major film buff or anything. He’d only seen most of them once because most of them weren’t very good. They weren’t a result of a hobby or a particular interest, they were a testament to his loneliness. He would stop at the store every night after work and grab something to pop into the microwave and a movie to watch–for years. Single is easier he told himself every night, hoping that sooner or later he would believe it. 

They only started to mean something to him when Evan started watching them. 

“Find anything good?” 

“What’s this?” Evan asked, holding up a familiar red and silver box. 

“ Who Framed Roger Rabbit .” 

Evan frowned. “Is it a cartoon?” 

“Kind of. You wanna watch it?” 

“Yeah.” 

“There’s scary parts.” 

“I won’t be afraid!” 

Right. Well, he could always skip over the more intense scenes. “Okay, get yourself comfortable on the couch. I’m going to make some popcorn then we’ll start the movie.” 

Tommy had absolutely no idea what could have happened in the four minutes it took him to find a bag of popcorn and pop it in the microwave, but when he returned to the living room carrying a bowl in each hand, he found Evan on the couch with tears streaming down his face. He wasn’t sobbing or making any noise at all. 

“Evan, sweetheart, what’s wrong?”  

Evan sniffed. “Nothing.” 

“Why are you crying?” Tommy asked, sitting beside him. 

“Did my mom send me away? Is that why I’m here?” 

Tommy’s heart broke in two. “No. No, of course not.” 

“Then why hasn’t she come to get me?” 

“Evan…nobody sent you away. It’s nothing like that.” 

“Bobby did.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I was naughty last night and I made a mess in the bathroom and I broke his couch, that’s why he left me today. He said I would see him but then he never came back.” 

“You can see him tomorrow. He was just a little busy today, that’s all.” 

“Are you going to leave me somewhere, too?” 

“No. Never .” He might have said it with a little too much force, because Evan looked more startled than reassured. “I’m not ever going to leave you anywhere, Evan. I will always be here for you.” 

“Really?” Evan asked, his voice trembling. 

“Really. And I promise you, nobody sent you away. Why would they? You’re a great kid.” 

Evan chest hitched, his bottom lip quivering. 

“Do you want a hug?” Tommy asked. 

Evan nodded and held his arms out. He wrapped them around Tommy’s neck as Tommy lifted hm into a bear hug, his face pressed against Tommy’s shoulder. He was still crying. Tommy could feel him shaking with it, and all he could do was rub Evan’s back. Evan had big feelings, and he felt those feelings very deeply, so Tommy wasn’t surprised that his feelings were as big as ever. Especially after everything he’d been through in the past twenty-four hours. 

Tommy held him long after he stopped crying, mostly because Evan did not unlock his arms from Tommy’s neck. He had no way of knowing for sure, but he had a feeling this level of physical comfort had always been missing from Evan’s life. His parents didn’t seem like the type to cuddle with their youngest son, and Maddie certainly gave him hugs and affection, but that wasn’t quite the same. Tommy didn’t miss the fact that Evan could only understand Maddie’s absence as a sign that something happened to her, and his mother’s absence as indication she finally pushed Evan away for good. 

“I’m sleepy,” Evan muttered. 

“I bet. You did a lot of cool stuff today. Got to go in a helicopter.” 

“And I saw the ocean!” 

“And you saw the ocean,” Tommy agreed. 

“Can we watch the movie tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Of course. Let’s get you to bed.” 

“Will I see Maddie tomorrow?” 

“Yeah.” Please don’t let that be a lie please don’t let that be a lie . “And we’ll have that mac and cheese tomorrow, too.” 

Tommy gently placed Evan on the bed, took off his shoes, and helped him change into one of his own soft t-shirts. It absolutely swamped him but he didn’t seem to mind. Evan could be a restless sleeper, so Tommy put a pillow on either side of him in case he rolled, hoping that would be enough to stop him from rolling off the edge of the bed. 

“Can you tell me a story?” 

“Sure. What kind of story do you want?” 

“One about your helicopter.” 

“Hmm, okay. I have one that’s about a helicopter and an ocean.” And meeting the love of my life . “You want to hear that one?” 

“Yeah,” Evan breathed, his eyes already closed. 

“Well, it all started when I got a call from an old friend. He saved my life once, so when he calls me for a favor, I’m there. Even if the favor is crazy. And this was the craziest thing I ever heard—” 

#

Buck woke up with a sharp gasp, sitting straight up in the dark, heart pounding in his ears. His nose tingled with the phantom scent of smoke and his skin felt tight, but there was no heat. He held his breath, ears straining for the sound of alarms or sirens, but everything was quiet. There was no hint of what might have yanked him from his sleep so suddenly. No fire. Nothing. 

As his eyes adjusted, he realized he wasn’t at his loft, but he was in a very familiar room. But if he was sleeping at Tommy’s–and he had absolutely no memory of arriving at Tommy’s–then where was the man himself? He pulled at the shirt he didn’t remember putting on, and it was damp with sweat. He felt clammy and too-hot. Like he needed a shower. His mouth was dry, too. He’d get a drink of water first. 

The television was on. He could hear it as soon as he stepped out of the bedroom. As he passed the living room, he saw Tommy’s silhouette on the couch, the light from the TV blue where it landed on his face and chest. Buck couldn’t make sense of it. Why was Tommy sleeping on the couch? Did they have a fight he couldn’t remember? Had he been drinking? The last time he drank to the point of blacking out was the night of Chim’s failed bachelor party, and he was still paying Maddie back for the damages that got billed to her credit card, so he didn’t overdo it like that anymore. But he still didn’t know how to explain the strange hole in his memory. 

He took a bottle of water from the fridge and drank the entire thing down without stopping, feeling like he hadn't had any water in days. Dehydration pointed to the blackout drunk theory, but he didn’t have any other symptoms of a hangover. He still needed that shower, though, and he took another bottle of water with him into the bathroom. When he felt more like himself, he’d wake up Tommy and ask him why everything felt so weird. 

He drank the cold water while he stood under the hot shower spray, eyes closed because it took too much energy to keep them open. He was exhausted . The longer he stood in the shower, the more exhausted he felt. Had he been on a call? He did remember a fire. Maybe he got hit in the head? Or maybe there was a gas leak? He wouldn’t necessarily remember going to the hospital–he didn’t always. Maybe he got treated for smoke inhalation and then Tommy picked him up and brought him home? Except, he could breathe just fine, and there was no lingering pain in his lungs. 

When Buck got out of the shower, he pissed for about five minutes straight, and then brushed his teeth and sleepily grabbed the robe from the back of the door. He didn’t notice it was Tommy’s until he pulled it on and smelled Tommy’s shampoo and cologne, and he was hit with a wave of longing so intense he couldn’t ignore it. Tommy needed to come to bed with him where he belonged. 

He padded back into the living room and turned off the television before gently nudging Tommy’s shoulder. 

“Hey, wake up sleepy head.” 

“Hmm?”

“Come to bed. Why are you on the couch?” 

Tommy opened his eyes. “Evan?” 

“Yeah. What–” 

He jumped up from the couch so quickly that Buck stumbled backwards. A hand shot out and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him against Tommy’s chest. “It’s you? You’re here?” 

“Who else were you expecting?” 

“It’s really you? I’m not dreaming?” 

“It’s really me. What’s gotten into you?” 

Tommy crushed him in a hug, squeezing his rib cage and kissing the side of his face. Buck returned the embrace happily, eyes closed with satisfaction as he took a deep breath, filling his head with the familiar, wonderful scent. 

“God, I’m so happy to see you, baby. So fucking relieved.” 

“Tommy, what is going on?” 

Tommy’s arms loosened just enough for him to lean back an inch or two. “You don’t remember?” 

“I remember we were on a call. There was a fire. Eddie was there? And then…nothing. I woke up here. I don’t know what happened in between. Was I hurt?” 

“No, no, baby you weren’t hurt.” Tommy held his face between his hands and kissed him with surprising tenderness. “You were…I don’t know. I don’t know, it doesn’t matter. You’re here now.” 

“I hope all this makes more sense in the morning because right now I’m too tired to care.” 

“Yeah, come on. Let’s go to bed.” 

Tommy kept one around him, holding Buck right against his body as they navigated through the dark house to the bedroom. Now he was sure something had happened because Tommy was freaking the fuck out, but if he wasn’t hurt, and he wasn’t drunk, what else did that leave? 

Tommy pulled the robe’s sash and then pushed it off Buck’s shoulders before drawing him into bed. He wouldn’t have minded if Tommy tried to kiss him or maybe grope him a little, but all he did was pull Buck against his chest, a heavy arm resting across his middle while Tommy’s leg draped over his thighs. It was very cozy.  Safe. Tommy always made him feel so safe. Like he was right where he was supposed to be. 

He felt himself drifting into sleep, but the sudden image of Jee holding her knee and crying surfaced. He must have tensed, because Tommy’s arm tightened. 

“You alright?” He asked against Buck’s neck. 

“Yeah…I…is Jee okay? Her knee?” 

“She is. She’s fine.” 

“Oh. Okay. Good. I was worried, is all. Can we go see her tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, of course.” 

“Okay.” He relaxed back against the solid wall of Tommy’s chest, reassured about Jee but still feeling weird. “Tommy?” 

“Hmm?” 

Thank you for the hamburger, for the helicopter, for the ocean, for the hug. Buck swallowed those words, not sure what any of it meant. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too, baby. I love you so much.” 

Some part of Buck had always been unsettled, wanting to believe but never quite able to accept that Tommy could truly love him. He did have a real fear of abandonment, and his therapist told him he had developed unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result, so he’d never been worried that Tommy didn’t love him. Just never quite at peace with it, either. 

But he felt at peace with it now. Safe and secure, wrapped in his man’s arms.