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⊹ ࣪ ˖ ꒰ঌ ♡ ໒꒱ ⊹ ࣪ ˖
They talked the whole ride home. Acting as if it was a normal afternoon. Like they pressed “pose” the last time they’ve seen each other and the moment Chris set in the car it was back on.
Chris was feeling so many emotions at once, they all culminated into this numb feeling that he couldn’t shake. It was almost like he wasn’t feeling anything at all. Being very confused by that, he just focused on Matt. On his words, his smile, his laugh. Usually his presence would ground him, but at that moment his mind seemed to be flouting all the same.
Chris wasn’t surprised by Matt’s nonchalant reaction to reuniting with his triplet brother. He knew him well. Matt wasn’t one for suppy hellos or goodbyes. He didn’t like to make things a big deal, not to say he didn’t feel like they were. He showed it in subtle ways, that over many years Chris was well versed in reading. He did't need Matt to tell him that he’s happy they are back together, he could see it in his eyes.
When they arrived home and were getting out of the car, Chris had the urge to hug Matt. But for some reason he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It was such an alien feeling, he never had a problem showing affection towards his brothers, especially Matt. It was scary how fast the distance grew between them. It was like an invisible wall was dividing them, making it hard for Chris to reach out and touch him. Matt and Chris’s usual amount of physical contact, now felt like too much for Chris to handle. It was as if seeing him, touching him, smelling him, all at once, would be too overwhelming, and his heart would instantly burst.
They walked from the garage to the living room, the whole time Matt wouldn’t stop talking. He was telling Chris about the most mundane things that nobody would really care to hear. But Chris cared, he wanted to know everything that ever happened to Matt during the days they were apart. Every thought he thought, every emotion he felt, every breath he took felt like something Chris was entitled to witness.
He followed Matt, caring his suitcase up the stairs. As soon as he stepped into the living room he felt his eyes welling up with tears. He couldn’t figure out if they where happy or sad, either way he felt embarrassed that they where there. He stoped in his tracks and tried to will the tears away, failing miserably. It was like all the feelings he was suppressing throughout the whole week came flooding, all at once.
When Matt turned around and saw Chris, looking at the ground, whipping tears off his face, he froze.
“Dude I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Chris chuckled, after seeing that Matt noticed the state he was in. He tried to hide his face and compose himself but the onslaught of emotions just wouldn’t stop.
“Oh, dear.” Matt shook his head, a compassionate smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He came up close to his baby brother and wrapped his arms around him, pressing the boy close to his chest. “I know, I know.” He said in a tone that was so gentle and loving, it made Chris wanna cry even harder. He berried himself in Matt’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around his bothers waist. Sobbing quietly, not able to make the tears stop falling.
It was such a long time since Chris had a meltdown like this, he could hardly remember when. He just let himself be held by Matt, feeling a little more at peace with each second that passed.
He finally relaxed, loosening his grip. Matt took that as a sign that he was allowed to pull away. He looked at the younger boy, pressing a hand to his face, whipping a tear away from his cheek with his thump. “I missed you too buddy.” Matt could feel his own tears threatening to come up, but he wasn't gonna let them. He just laughed a little at the absurdity of the situation. They really only been away from each other for less than two weeks. He should probably be concerned, but if it was up to him he would never let Chris be alone ever again. He didn’t care that it was unhealthy or strange. All he cared about was Chris feeling safe and happy. And he felt so lucky to be the one that can make him feel that way.
They looked at each other and there was nothing but love in Matt’s eyes. Something in Chris snapped in that moment.
He pressed his lips to Matt’s, holding onto him, trying to deepen the kiss. But Matt gently pushed him away. He searched Chris’s face for some kind of answer but all he saw was hurt. The sight was too much for Matt, he could't see Chris in pain much longer, so he went to lean back in and returned the kiss. The younger brushed over his lips with his tongue, Matt parted them to let him in. It turned passionate and hungry in seconds. They both been starving for each other and now they were getting their fill.
Chris gently pushed Matt to walk backwards and pressed the boy against the wall. Kissing him with so much vigor, that Matt’s head was starting to spin. “Chris, we can’t.” He managed to say in between heavy breaths.
“I don’t care.” Chris replied and diverted his attention to Matt’s neck. Kissing licking and sucking at his skin, not carrying if he’d leave any marks. Hands roaming all over, sneaking under the boys shirt, grabbing his ass, making Matt’s knees buckle from the increasing arousal. If he wasn’t stuck between Chris and the wall he wasn’t sure he’d be standing.
“No more weird shit, remember.” Matt managed to say in between desperate moans. Trying to remind his brother of the promise they made.
Chris finally pulled away, letting Matt free. “Sorry, I was just...” Chris trailed off looking down again, like a misbehaved puppy.
“I know… its fine.” Matt said, knowing exactly what Chris meant to say.
He tried to compose himself, fixing his shirt and hair, face flushed, lips puffy and pink. He put a hand on Chris’s shoulder and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Welcome home.” Despite his warm smile, Chris saw sadness in Matt’s eyes.
“Thanks.” He replied. Feeling incredibly flustered.
“You should go shower and I’ll order us something to eat.” Matt said while walking towards his room to presumably change into something more comfortable.
”Fuck” Chris whispered under his breath. Being more independent, spending more time apart, quitting soda, quitting Matt. Who’s idea was it to do it all at once? It might have been his, which he now regretted immensely. “This growing up bullshit sacks ass.” he thought. What Chris would give to be nineteen again. He took his suitcase and went downstairs to his room. He was so exhausted from his travel and all the emotions, all he wanted to do was to shower and then spend the rest of the day on the couch with Matt by his side.
Well, it wasn’t all he wanted. But for now that was enough.
── ⊹ ࣪ ˖♡˖ ࣪ ⊹ ──