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What makes a field of flowers different from one covered in snow? Neither lasts forever. Snow would melt and flowers would wither; but maybe that’s just the over-embellished observation that everyone experiences firsthand when witnessing them. Yes, flowers and snow created a wonderful spectacle when the weather was the correct one and the timing was also the good one to accentuate the land.
A lazy, summer day would be ideal for the flowers with the sun shining over a field full of distinctive species bathing the land in beautiful warming tones. Or it could work on rainy days as little droplets of water adorned the magnificent petals and gave a more lively touch to the gloomy day.
For her, snow was intriguing, yet miserable. Snowy days were never appealing to her as she hated the numbness it induced in her limbs when she had to be outside, wearing layers after layers of clothes that only made it harder to do any activity. And sinking in cold, frozen water simply made the sole thought sent a shiver running through all her body, feeling the icy touch.
For him, flowers were annoying, simple as that. They were invasive, and he couldn't be less unmoved by the vast array of types and colours existing around the globe. Luckily, he wasn't allergic, otherwise he would keep adding another reason to hate them. And God, why are people so obsessed with gifting them? Either they are dumb or lazy because spending so much money on a bouquet that would not last more than three days or by ripping them off the ground must mean they never had a working brain to begin with.
And still, they loved these things for their very own reasons.
In her eyes, snow was pureness in its purest form. Even when the white cold sheet laid there and left the streets empty, she felt it burning every time the cold breeze roared at her or caressing her as snowflakes kissed her face and formed a delicate, frail imaginary veil cascading from her beanie and down her hair.
Although there were days when winter was ruthless, she still found it enthralling how she expected temperatures to drop below freezing, yet she never felt cold ever again. If anything, she started to feel like her soul healed after the rough patches she encountered in her life. There, surrounded by nothing in an immerse landscape, she felt in companion upon a heart-warming calmness staring at the breathtaking winter wonderland.
And although he hated flowers in general, he fell in love at first sight with one in particular that had him captivated from afar. In the middle of nowhere, an indistinguishable red point lured him to get closer. There, surrounded by other types of plants, was an outstanding, odd bi-coloured rose, one kind he had never seen before. Cherry red was the predominant colour and, after a closer examination, he noticed a pinkish tone slowly fading into pure white.
And the smell, oh God. The sweet perfume drunken him and weakened his senses beyond sanity. But what truly sent him crazy was touching those silky petals, nothing softer alike in where he ever had laid his fingers before. Meeting his eyes were a burning gaze with awestruck, dark brown dots like those on a ladybug’s back. The sight of the well-flourished rose in a snow-covered field left him breathless that he couldn’t help but smile by the peacefulness instilling in him for such an intimate moment to treasure forever. He later realized how long he had been contemplating the flower when he felt it returning his gesture, tangling tender vines-like fingers and locking them still.
Perhaps the rose truly did pinpoint his thoughts when suddenly, it blossomed, opening its petals, instantly igniting a fire within him that made his face flushed warmly, though that could also be from the cold. A dazzling smile and the realization that where he posed his hand were no petals but a cheek, round and cold, leaning plain against his palm. Scanning again, Gedeon watched her pale face and how her lips had turned to a much paler pink than usual.
“Said something?” He asked, feeling like he missed something.
Focusing what he had in front of him, he saw the ro— no, the woman softly shaking her head at him for being so lost in his thoughts. She rubbed her forehead against his. “Let’s go inside. I’m cold.” Ellie repeated, tugging at his arm and motioning him to move. Before leaving, she gave a quick peck on his lips.
And he did, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to his body. Ellie shivered, feeling a chill run down her spine as she welcomed the warmth radiating from his body. While walking together in the leading back to the house, Gedeon made a mental note to check for dry wood to start a fire.
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It started one random day in some part that could’ve belonged to either Germany or Austria as much as they cared for. Their faces hurt from the coldness, but it was very much welcomed for a change. Breathing became as painful as talking was, so silence kept them company as did a weird energy floating around them, so ignoring each other’s presence without forgetting they were there seemed to fill the gaps.
Occasionally, when one or both were feeling overwhelmed, they would reunite with no specific agenda other than to unwind together. However, after years of working together, they never learnt how to have a real conversation. They just kept circling between each other like a fiery merry-go-round because they were unable to connect apart from professionals Ellie Stocker and Gedeon Winter, less about a mere extent of “Servus, Ellie” and “Servus, Gedeon” verbal interaction; not even daring to navigate the awkwardness of using, well, their names . Silence was their comfort zone, and it worked until they couldn't bear it any more; yet, even when a familiar lump formed in their throats, words remained unspoken.
This is not working , they thought. For them, being the successful, chaotic duo that could make the perps spit their deepest secrets, yet unable to communicate like functioning adults or friends if they were allowed to get there, was the most stupid joke never told. And here they were, walking from everything and the talk they never managed to have.
The blows of wind and snow continued to fill the air, but the atmosphere was tense, bothering them so much and perhaps even making them angry for their inability to share. Usually, Gedeon was the one closer to blowing shit out of proportion for the smallest and not-so-smallest things, but by hearing out of nowhere a scream seemingly so close, yet distant, the Austrian found amusement in Ellie's pent-up frustration finally being released, behaving so impossibly human was something that never failed to surprise. Even better was seeing her arms flailing in the air and swearing in typical northern German, as if Gedeon witnessed some ritual or dance performance to celebrate a long-forgotten tradition.
The oddness of such action being displayed in the privacy of the woods meant that what was brewing between them finally reached its boiling point and since they were far removed from professional grounds, it became a strange little self indulgence treat they had allowed to run loose from time to time.
Gedeon had that cheshire cat smile and his arms crossed during the whole ordeal. “About damn time.” He commented.
“You…” Ellie was crouched trying to recover the air after her outburst and she glared hard at the man in front before speaking, “are not lecturing me about tantrums.”
“I know better.”
“Do you?” She bickered with her eyebrows lifted and a smile forming in one corner of her lips.
Before Gedeon could answer, a snowball smacked him squarely in the head. Seconds after realizing where it came from, he couldn’t resist the urge to chase after the now screaming woman whose legs resembled those of a spider for the way they ran without slipping in the ground. Although Gedeon struggled to keep up, he managed to grab her arm and yank her to a stop, scattering the snow all over her woolly hat.
It was just a simple act, just two grown-ups having a silly snowball fight; but for them, it felt like a long-awaited respite from some stressful and sleepless days that weighed them down in the form of dark circles and enough caffeine to fuel an army. And now they were laughing so hard at the top of their lungs in such a liberating state, washing away any tension from their previous state and replacing it with pure joyness.
So much was left unsaid, but both understood the other’s body language like the back of their hands. Even when Ellie’s back was pressed against Gedeon’s chest, just a side glance from the German was enough to have a whole conversation where no sound was made. An unspoken dialogue fueled by their deep telepathic connection that made things simpler. But things got complicated the moment Ellie saw something else hidden in his eyes, a tiny spark desperately trying to break free from his well-constructed façade.
Gedeon knew she saw what he'd been fiercely trying to hide. In that brief moment of distraction, he'd let his guard down, and she'd seen it all. And for the first time in a long time, in a rare moment of vulnerability, he felt like confessing to her about how he always searched for her, how sorry he was for all the pain and loneliness she had endured, about how he loved her so much it frightened him more than anything else.
It should have been a surprise when Ellie turned around, her neck craning from its resting place on his chest to look up at his crystal blue eyes, framed by a grey sky dusted with snowflakes. She hugged him tightly, as if he were her lifeline. But then it wasn’t, especially when Gedeon found returning the gesture so comforting that he wished to have done it sooner. Against his best judgment, he conceived that his affection wasn’t unrequited after all, not by the way Ellie’s dark pools reflected so brightly the same sentiments he had been trying to hide, making his heart race harder and heavier.
Nevertheless, the two understood they might not get another chance like this, and this time they surprised themselves when both sets of eyes shutted down and met in the middle in a wistful, yet cautious kiss. Any previous apprehension was forgotten as the kiss deepened, unfolding in a more passionate one, and quickly finding an interest in the way their mouths melded and their tongues danced so vividly, fulfilling the intense desire they had so much avoided.
It felt like time stood still and the only motional beings who remained unaffected were them, but being so engrossed in the moment that didn’t realize they weren’t moving. However, timing had a particular sense of humor, sending a gust of cold wind right in their direction; catching Gedeon off guard, but not Ellie who was sheltered by the Austrian’ warm body.
Their intimate moment was broken, but not the embrace they were sharing; if anything, it brought them closer. Watching closer, they realized their lips were flushed and their faces reddened, suddenly the wind turned a backseat against the heartfelt kiss. And it felt so natural, as if they had spent all their lives doing this, that they instantly missed the physical connection, so Gedeon lowered his head a bit and joined foreheads, feeling shivers run down his spine from the cold.
Ellie didn’t want to let go of him, growing quickly attached to feeling safe in his arms, but now the cold was becoming unbearable and her bones were screaming for being outside for too long. Perhaps it was true what she had once heard about sensing the changes in the one you truly loved, given how Gedeon, also resisting, pulled slightly away from her before speaking.
“Let’s go inside. I’m cold.” Gedeon whispered.
She heard him, as clear and loud as the wind outside, but not before seeing the sadness in his eyes as if he said something he shouldn’t. Her heart rushed at this and wanted to do anything to soothe him, only to be surprised by her hand being taken up to his lips, kissing it and placing it on his stubble for her to caress. Like a magic pill, it worked quickly, calming his turbulent eyes and making them serene as a lake.
Before separating, Gedeon leaned down again, this time kissing promises of the conversation they would have once they were out of work for good. Ellie felt a warmth inside her that she knew wouldn’t continue with her life anymore after tasting his lips. After breaking the kiss, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and adjusted her hat; then, turned back to the station, followed closely by the heavy footsteps from the German inspector and a lighter mood between them. They didn’t hold hands on their way back and despite their outward normalcy once inside, their lingering glances didn't go unnoticed, and everyone immediately suspected something had, indeed, happened between those two.
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Handing her a cup of coffee, both sat beside looking through the window as the snow fell. They still didn’t know how to properly talk, but enjoying each other's quietness and cosy warmth was everything they needed.
After that day, they went together to the café Gedeon frequented, which quickly became their regular hangout, and talked about everything related to their new everything, whether they should continue or end things on good terms. In the end, they were both physically and emotionally exhausted, but at least they cleared up most things. They were not getting any younger and, as much as they reasoned about ending it, both couldn’t deny what happened and how it made them feel after.
So, they took the very obvious route to walk on, and as far as they came, it proved to be tougher than they expected. From sorting out boundaries within professional and personal grounds, to dealing with their own past traumas and old developed coping mechanisms; it turned out to be both challenging and rewardful at the same time. A blessing in disguise, they would joke in the long run.
“Have I ever told you about the Osiria Rose?” Gedeon asked without rearing his eyes from the window as snowflakes kept falling.
Ellie’s response was a sigh, not in annoyance, but rather in acknowledgment. “No,” she said, nuzzling impossibly closer to kiss his cheek, then relaxing back on his shoulder while awaiting his explanation.
Before speaking, he put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, giving a sweet kiss to her and later kissing her head, resting his own on top. “Originally bred by Reimer Kordes in 1978, in Germany…”
He was not a flower expert nor a gardener by any means, but he took a particular fondness after getting out of the hospital and going through a long, boring recovering period like some kind of therapeutic coop. Gedeon took it slowly at first given he was still recovering from the aneurysm and being constantly nagged by Ellie to follow the doctor's instructions; she even threatened to be there to make sure he was doing so.
And as endearing as the situation was, the man followed both the doctor and Ellie’s words to the letter in the path of recovering. He felt in high spirits for the first time in his life, for once looking forward as a summer sunset was setting and cicadas could be heard in the distance, which helped even more in his recovery. By the end of the season, he felt more alive than ever and made sure to keep Ellie in the loop on important things from time to time.
But here, inside the house, in the middle of a new winter season, it felt like being in a secret garden of their own, where they nurtured their affection like delicate flowers in a snow field, blooming soothingly in the sunlight of each other's presence.
It had been a long time since Ellie stopped hating cold and snowy days, especially after joking once about Winter being the best time to be in company, getting an exasperated sigh and a kiss on her cheek. On the other hand, Gedeon still hated flowers, but made an exception for two kinds: tulips because they were her favourites, the second exception was Ellie Stocker wearing her red coat above her pinkish blouse and a bag with walnut pastries to share. In fact, if he was being honest to himself, he made Ellie an exception in general.
But like now, he felt like the garden he started back then just grew exponentially better once he got that unique rose he first saw on the border and wanted to keep, though not as a possession, but as a companion. The second time they met, his feelings were cemented when he had to withdraw his hand painfully cautious for the electricity he felt after the handshake. If nothing, his ro— no, his Ellie changed his world in the most beautiful and unintended way by deciding to stay.
Just for that, he knew Ellie was his. In return, he vowed to forever love her even in the afterlife. They belonged to each other’s hearts.