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•was speechless and couldn’t stop blushing the first time he met you
•when he confesses his feelings he tells you you’re the most beautiful thing he’s seen in his 30 years of traveling dimensions
•takes you stargazing on your first date
•secretly keeps a journal about you and takes notes of your favorite things
•gets an autism diagnosis because you won’t stop pointing out his ‘tism traits
•loves it when you wear his sweater and nearly died the first time he caught you wearing it
•calls you “my stardust”
•gets super protective of you (more so than he already was) and clingy after weirdmageddon, he almost lost you and will do everything he can to make sure it never comes to that again
•loves reading to you about the paranormal while you fall asleep on his chest
•secretly afraid that you’ll just use him like bill and hates himself for thinking that
•loves to put on his old records and slow dance with you
•doesn’t know what a silver fox is and why everyone keeps calling him that, turns beet red you tell him
•absolutely melts over a back massage
•plays dd&md with you and dipper
•learns everything he can about your hobbies and loves listening to you infodump about them
•keeps a picture of you in his trench coat pocket
•genuinely didn’t think loving another person was in the cards for him until he met you
•knows you love his voice and says sweet nothings to you constantly just to make you blush
•secretly obsessed with twilight ever since you watched it together despite its “many glaring inaccuracies” (vampires don’t sparkle obvs) and sees himself as your edward
•loves when you play with his hair, seriously it drives him crazy
•draws you in the margins of his research
•frequently makes dad jokes just to make you groan
•loves watching you sleep, hearing you breathe softly is so comforting to him
•was a smoker before he met you, quit because he wants to live as long as he can now that you’re in his life
•would take a bullet for you
•the ring he proposes to you with has a stone he found in his years traveling dimensions
•has an almost 6th sense when you roll away from him in the middle of the night and will pull you back to him in his sleep
•stan, mabel, and wendy had a bet for when you two would finally get together. mabel won
•almost always covers the camera with his thumb when he facetimes you (he’s old he can’t help it 😭)
•takes you on scenic hikes that also double as cryptid hunting
•when you get injured on adventures or working in the lab he finds bandaging your wounds to be a very intimate experience
•you get a cat together and he treats it like his baby
•plays piano for you, your favorite is clair de lune
•has a surprisingly good singing voice but you’re the only person he shows it to
•loves your scent, if you’re away he’ll hold your pillow just to take in your scent as he falls asleep
•cried seeing you walk down the aisle
•your first dance was to “close to you” by the carpenters
•almost left you because he was terrified bill would hurt you to get to him
•you nearly died during weirdmageddon and he still hasn’t forgiven himself, you were in a coma for two weeks and he spent the entire time by your side
•you regularly have dates where you help him catch up on movies and tv he missed while he was in the portal. twin peaks was a big favorite for him, hardcore kins dale cooper
•you love when he holds you close and puts his hand on the small of your back, it makes you feel safe
•zoos, aquariums, and museums are his top date spots
•loves talking about the universe with you while you’re both stoned out of your minds
•dipper used to lend you the journals during your breaks working at the mystery shack, so you were a pretty big fan of ford before he even came back through the portal. when you finally met him you had a freakout similar to dipper’s, just internally
💭“HOLY SHIT HE’S THE AUTHOR AND HE HOT???”💭
•asked you to be his assistant before you started dating and you were pretty head over heels for him at that point so you lept at the chance to have ford all to yourself
•seriously didn’t think you’d be into an old hardened man like him. when you reciprocated his feelings after he confessed he was genuinely surprised
•stan has been the third wheel on a handful of dates. you honestly don’t mind, he makes things fun even if his methods aren’t always… legal
•wishes you could’ve met his mother
•constantly stealing glances at you, sometimes forgets he’s staring until you tell him and he starts blushing like crazy
•wrote to you as often as he could when he went on his adventures with stan
•took a long time to open up to you about what happened during his time in other dimensions, he carries a lot of trauma over it and it isn’t easy for him to talk about
•flashed his gun at a guy that was catcalling you
•you showed him sea of love by cat power and he thinks of it as “our song”
•is a surprisingly good cook and learns how to make all of your favorite dishes
•mabel was the first to suspect that you guys liked each other, way before you even started dating
•you watched titanic and he spent the entire time telling you facts about the actual ship
•when he gets a phone he’s constantly sending you OLD memes, like “i can haz cheezburger old”
•when you’re on your cycle he’s busting out all the remedies. heating pads, herbal tea, ibuprofen, chocolate. you’re getting PAMPERED
•you make him feel young again
•loves taking romantic baths with you. goes the extra mile with candles, rose petals, bubbles, and wine
•genuinely can’t tell when you’re flirting unless you explicitly tell him
•knew he wanted to marry you from day one
•actually got very into planning your wedding, mabel helped him create a scrapbook/planner
•always turns down the ac in the bedroom so it’s freezing. he likes it cold but also does it so you’ll cuddle up to him for warmth
•has very rough, calloused hands. when he rubs your back it makes you shiver
•loves to wrap his arms around you and hug you from behind while you’re cooking or working in the lab
•you once found some old photos of his days being possessed by bill. to say he was embarrassed would be an understatement
•thinks you hang the moon
•was really sick and delirious one time and all he could talk about was how beautiful you are and how much he loves you
•snores. it was kind of hard to sleep with at first but now it’s like your personal white noise machine
•you got him into ren faires. calls you his majesty
•very passionate kisser, sometimes gets carried away and forgets to breathe
•if you’re lgbt he goes to pride with you. mabel dresses him head to toe in pride merch
•anxious attachment (mostly because of bill)
•might forget to eat but always makes sure you do
•big spoon, loves feeling the warmth of you up against him
•when you’re getting ready to leave somewhere he says “are you ready to rock and roll?” like the dad he is
•teaches you self defense, sees it as a very practical skill
•loves seeing you smile
•you love his morning voice
•constantly had nightmares about bill hurting you. he’d wake up and pull you close, he wanted to protect you so much
•gives the best hugs
•recorded himself reading books before he went away on his adventures with stan so you could still fall asleep to his voice
•when you first met he fell so hard for you when you told him you read the journals
•when you and ford get married mabel and dipper call you their grauntie
•if you’re in college he helps you with your homework and studying
•writes about you in the journals. refers to you as “the most beautiful creature i have ever encountered”
•drunkenly admitted to you one night that his first crush was jackie kennedy
•plays with your hair a lot. it’s practically a stim
•if you’re having a rough day he’ll pull you onto his lap and let you vent
•when you show him a video or a meme he does that old person thing where he takes the phone out of your hand, holds it out, squints, and adjusts his glasses while asking you something like “is that your friend?”
•you guys have heated vampires vs werewolves debates
•struggled heavily with suicidal thoughts after weirdmageddon. there were nights where neither of you slept and you were honestly afraid to leave him alone. if it wasn’t for you, stan, and the kids he never would’ve made it.
•very proud of his jewish heritage. loves teaching you about the traditions.
•writes you love letters
•you showed him the star wars prequels and he LOVES them. was really happy to see more of obi wan as he’s his favorite character
•does that dad thing where he walks into the room and just stands there watching tv instead of sitting down. drives you absolutely nuts, like the couch is RIGHT THERE
•encourages you to get on his insurance. he considers your health very important
•if you’re an artist he’ll pose for you… sometimes sans clothes 👀💦. lowkey got triggered when you called him your muse one time
•you got matching cryptid tattoos. it’s the first tattoo he’s proud of
•loves how you get along with dipper and mabel
•his love language is quality time
•sleeps significantly better if you’re there next to him
•teaches you how to play piano. you love it because he guides your hands with his
•library dates are a must
•writes poetry for you
•constantly yapping about nerd and science stuff. you don’t mind, you just love hearing his voice
•leaves you notes telling you how much he adores you
•loves hugging you from behind and resting his head in the crook of your neck
•if you have freckles he absolutely loves them, calls them your “little stars”
•stan is constantly telling you guys to get a room
•tries to use modern slang, it makes you laugh
“y/n, do i have rizz?”
•you ask mabel to teach you how to knit so you can make ford a pair of 6 fingered gloves for the winter. he loves them so much
•loves to smell the top of your head when he hugs you
•literal human furnace. great for cuddling in the winter, summers are a different story
•for the first month and a half after you met he would get super flustered if you even looked in his general direction
•thinks the twin towers are aesthetically pleasing. had a mental breakdown for a couple of days when you broke the news to him
•if you sleep with a blanket or a stuffed animal he never makes you feel bad about it
•you ran into a bear on a hike once, he was very protective of you
“make noise and back away slowly, y/n. if anything happens i promise i’ve got you”
•gives you his coat without a second thought when you’re cold
•loves waking up to you in the morning. pulls you close and kisses you
•has a habit of moving silently after his time in other dimensions. has startled you on more than one occasion
•used drinking to cope after you fell into your coma. felt like what happened to you was his fault, if he had never befriended bill all those years ago he wouldn’t have hurt you