Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Okay students, I will now group you in pairs because you will have to work together for the next project that I am going to assign” 

Bryan, who was always in the front of the class, immediately raised his hand “Can we pick our partner?” 

“Unfortunately, I will be pairing everyone randomly ” Mrs. Johnson announces, making everyone with a friend group groan annoyingly

“Now, now. We must learn to work with different people” sitting back to her chair and spinning the bingo cage filled with the name of the class. “Which leads me to our topic which is Types of Connections in Life” she revealed

“Your partners and your topics will be random, so everything will be fair” she assured—the students weren’t.

Spinning the cage until a ball dropped. Unexpectedly your name was called first.

“You will be working with,” 

Nervously tapping your pen on the desk, internally praying that you get to work with someone you’re familiar with.

“Lynn Loud” she called out

You and Lynn have been in the same class at the same school since middle school, but not once did you interact with each other. 

You have acknowledged each other’s presence in class, accidental eye contact and falling of pens a few times. But never a direct conversation with each other.

On the other hand, Lynn was out of her mind. 

She knew this was bound to happen, but not in pairs, not when you two were alone, together.

“And your type of connection will be,” drawing a piece of paper from the fish bowl of topics.

“Social connections”

Lynn was fumbling with the buttons on her flannel in front of the for about 10 minutes now, as a result she just gave up. Instantly dropping her hands frustratingly “I can’t do this!”

“She’s gonna be here in a few minutes and I still can’t find that jersey” staring at the huge mess of clothes she just made on the floor, and of herself .

Lynn spent the whole afternoon looking for her lucky jersey “Lucy, can you hear me? I’m in major trouble here” 

Lucy was just lying in her coffin the whole time Lynn was getting ready. “Your suffering gives me joy” she replied monotonously

“Can you atleast tell me what I should wear instead?” Digging through her drawer to pull out more clothes

 Lucy, still relaxing on her coffin with her arms crossed over her chest, responded “We obviously have different tastes. How do you expect me to help you attract a girl, you’ve had a crush on since middle school, by way of clothing?”

Lucy is the only one in her 10 siblings who knows about her sexuality, it’s not that she’s hiding it from them its more like she wants to figure out some things before officially telling them

“Can you help me or not?” She stood up annoyed

Lucy rose from her coffin, lifting up her spine and turning her head to look at what she was wearing

“Unbotton the flannel, it looks like you’re trying to hard.

Immediately following her order, unbottoning it making the number 17 print on her jersey shirt visible.

Lucy went back to laying on her coffin, this time covering it up to avoid disruptions. 

Lynn paired the jersey with a flannel, demin shorts and some high-top converse.

“Should I wear my hair down today?” Examining her ponytail that looks decent enough. Without a beat, the doorbell rang. 

Up it is she thought

“I’ll get it!” Lynn shouted after slamming the door on her room and sprinting down the stairs.

Quickly checking her breath and hair after calmly opening the door. 

“Hi” you greeted her with a smile

It took a while before Lynn could reply, keeping her eyes on you and holding a small grin. 

“C-come in” she stuttered

Lynn never stutters, she always says everything with conviction.

Stepping inside and seeing some clutters left by her siblings in the living room.

“Sorry, big family so it’s never really completely clean around here” Lynn explained “We’ll be in the dining room” pointing to the right

“No, I understand.” Walking toward the direction to put down your things on their big family table. While your back was turned Lynn immediately rubbed the sweat of her hands on her shorts.

You noticed a display if all their family pictures—sports tournaments, graduations, and even them as babies. 

“Wow, 10 siblings” you mentioned “Yup”

“I’m guessing this is you as a baby” you chuckled, pointing to a picture of a toddler in a funny face with sauce on her cheeks. 

Smiling embarrassingly “Yeah, my fourth birthday party” 

“Do you have any siblings?” Lynn asked.

Of course she knows you have siblings. You have an older brother and an older sister. For the sake of the conversation and her not wanting to come off as a stalker, she asked anyways.

“Yes actually, I have an older brother and sister. They’re off doing their own thing so we don’t really hang out that much” you explained 

You and Lynn were quite different, she grew up with a big family, good at socializing, and an athlete. You on the other hand was never the athletic type, so you tend to channel all that in academics, and you grew up in a small house with less people to talk to.

“Should we start?” You asked her after feeling the uncomfortable silence getting to you

“Sure” she replied 

Both of you were now sitting side by side “I did a few notes on our topic, but I can’t seem to find it”

You swept through the pages of your books trying to find the piece of paper.

Lynn however, was internally panicking.

Am I sitting too close? Should I be doing something with my hands? Can she notice that  I’m getting a bit sweaty?

Taking a risk and giving a glace at your face that ended up with her staring. 

Your hair was tucked to your ears, and the light coming from the window behind you gave your skin a small glow that benefited your complexion.

Without your notice, Lynn felt a weird feeling coming from her chest. 

The peace was immediately over the front door opened and six of Lynn’s siblings entered the front door, the layered chattering makes it impossible to focus.

Sighing about your disturbed peace “Let’s go somewhere else” Lynn suggested

-

“Sorry about this, My sister Lucy knows all the quite spaces in this house and this is the only one that’s fits two people.” Lynn explained while both of you settled on Lucy's prayer mat in the attic

“It’s okay, I like how quiet it is” You smiled at her

Lynn fought to no smile and blush when you looked at her. 

The prayer mat was quite small for the both of you so you sat with both of your legs straight and your back on some boxes.

Lynn hesitated to sit next to you, she did the same thing but only sat at the edge of the matt, making sure there was much more space between the two of you

“I can’t find some of my notes, but since this is a self-reflection thing I thought we could just chat” you suggested “I know you have a lot of things to put in, considering you have such a big family” 

Lynn grew nervous. Chatting was easy for her but not with someone who she literally had a crush on for years now.

“Like, is your relationship with every single one in your family great?” 

“Of course, there’s fighting and bickering that sometimes last for a long time. Me and Lucy once didn’t talk for like a week because we annoyed each other so much, I even moved to Lincoln’s room” 

Wow, I just said all that. Lynn thought 

“Does it ever get physical?” You asked concerningly

Lynn nodded “Definitely, not a day goes by without one sibling pinching one another, slapping, biting, hair pulling. And the occasional wedgies I give to my brother Lincoln” laughing at the recent memory she had

“I’m sure you and your siblings bicker too, any embarrassing memories you guys have?” 

Looking away disappointingly “Unfortunately, we don’t“

This made Lynn stop laughing “Are you serious?” 

You just shrugged your shoulders at her “I guess its just the age thing, when I was little they were just so focused on school and they were already out of the house when I was 10. So I guess I never got to really ‘grow up’ with them”

Lynn couldn’t imagine that, not having her siblings with her when she was growing up.

“Sorry, my story is kind of a bummer”

Lynn shook her head “No, of course not”

“You know what, lets talk about something else” Lynn suggested “Let’s make things more interesting”

“Okay” You agreed, turning your body towards her while your legs were now crisscrossed 

“Two truths and a lie, just to break the ice”

“Okay” you accepted the challenge “Should I go first?”

“Sure,” 

Taking a moment to think about something unbelievable “I accidentally drank toilet water as a kid, I broke my leg climbing a tree at summer camp, and I once threw up on a a ballet performance when I was 6”

Lynn took a moment to think “Somehow the toilet water seem made up”

“I have never broken a bone before” you announced

Lynn covered her mouth with her hands as a reaction

“I was a baby back then and my mom actually told me she found me in the bathroom with a teaspoon in my hand and I was drinking the toilet water like soup” you admitted 

“And the ballet one, all of my puke got on the girl I was dancing with and not on me. I’m pretty sure she still hates me for that”

Lynn laughed at that “I’m sure I would if I was her”

“Okay my turn” Lynn was now also sitting crisscrossed 

“I once cut the hair of one of my sister’s dolls and blamed it on someone, One of my exes once mistaken my sister for me, and last week I tried to chug a carton of milk only to realize it was expired”

You put your hands on your hips and thought hard “Uhmm, this is a hard one. But I’m gonna go with the second one, just because I think you and your sisters all look differently. It’s impossible to mix you guys up”

Lynn was impressed “Correct. Plus I’ve never actually been in a relationship before so,” shrugging her shoulders

“Really?” You asked

“Have you?” Lynn pondered

“Well, I once shared a juice box with Henry in middle school”

Lynn laughed while placing her palms on the floor “I remember I made him cry once in PE”

“Also, sharing juice boxes? That’s practically kissing in middle school” Lynn added

“No its not” you argued 

“Oh it is” 

“Have you ever kissed someone” you teased

“Well, no” Lynn answered nervously. Not really the type of thing you want to tell your crush

“Have you ever had a crush on anyone?” You grew curious .

Taking a long time to answer, so you just pushed further. “Oh my god, who is it?” 

Moving more closer to her like she’s telling a secret.

Now that all your attention is on Lynn you cant help but notice how nervous she got. Her sudden silence made you curious 

Lynn cleared her throat “Well, it-its just that. I never really told her yet” 

“Oh, so she’s a she” you clarified “Do I know her?” Putting your chin on your hand

You were staring at Lynn so much that she completely forgot she said ‘her’. In her head she was now regretting that both of you are sitting face to face

Lynn’s hands were now fumbling with her flannel

“Umm–well–it's...it's a long story” Lynn tried so hard not to look you in the eye that it made you grow suspicious.

Sweaty hands, no eye contact, nervous demeanor. Lynn was showing signs all over the place, and you were no ignorant from it.

You leaned back, realizing the ball was in your court, you decided to play.

“Does this person make you nervous?” You asked almost in a whisper. 

Lynn's hands and knees were only inches away from yours, so you quietly reached out your index finger and just softly rubbed it on the knuckles of her hand

Lynn felt like she couldn’t breathe. Your touch was soft but to her, her insides were being electrocuted.  

Your eyes were on her but Lynn kept her gaze on your hand that was touching hers

For the very first time Lynn was speechless, she just simply didn’t trust herself enough to respond to whatever this was.

“Can she hold your hand?”

At this point your finger is already looped in hers and your thumb was rubbing her nail. After that question, you slowly start to spread your fingers between hers.

Lynn was savoring every moment, she couldn’t even look you in the eye. The slow sensation of both your hands intertwining made her skin burn

“Lynn,” you called out her name.

And when Lynn finally looked up and saw your reassuring smile, all reason flew through the window

“Can she kiss you?” You finally asked

Lynn’s head was all over the place, she even thought about if this was even real, if she was just dreaming.

“Yes” Lynn responded before she could even think 

As you leaned closer to her Lynn’s head felt like it was about to explode, she could feel the thumping of her heart against her rib cage. 

She doesn’t even know how to kiss a girl, now she’s doing this

You were so close that you can feel her nervously breath. And before you went in you gave her hand a squeeze to let her know

You gave one last look at her lips before going in. Gently pressing your lips on hers

Fireworks were going off in Lynn’s head, her body felt limp but at the same time tensed.

Your lips stayed on hers for a few seconds before you started to pull away slowly. Faces still close together, you examined Lynn’s face to look for any kind of reaction. 

You grew nervous when you can’t seem to pick up a reaction from her. Lynn just kept her gaze on you, contemplating on what she should do next

She just couldn’t get enough of how your lips tasted like, cherries.

Lynn’s silence wasn’t really helping the situation, so you had to ask her “Was that not–“ Before you could finish your sentence, Lynn immediately grabbed your face and started to kiss you, now with more contempt.

Her hands settled on the sides of your face and her lips felt more softer than before, more relaxed.

Your hands reached up to hold onto her elbows and Lynn swears she felt butterflies on her stomach

It was longer than the first one, this was more deep. After a while, Lynn started moving her lips, and both of you became more eager as the kiss went longer. Before you could even respond your phone started ringing. 

This startled both of you because the attic was completely quiet a sudden sound can really echo. 

Immediately breaking off the kiss, both of your surprised faces earned a laugh from both of you. Giggling in embarrassment before picking up your phone. Lynn tried to stay quiet by cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing 

“Mom. I know, I’m coming home now. Okay, bye” 

You ended the phone call before cracking up again from what happened. “I guess we didn’t have that much work done” 

“Yeah, sorry about that” Lynn apologized 

You stared at her for a few seconds but you know that if it were longer you might end up kissing again “Same time again tomorrow?” You asked

Lynn’s face brightened up “Sure” 

-

After seeing you out and closing the front door, Lynn ran up to her room and crashed down to her bed to break out into a blushing mess.

She never expected for that to happen.

A faint taste of your chapstick was still on her lips. Licking her lips while grinning like a fool, with memories of you still fresh in her mind

She stared down at the number 17 in her shirt “New lucky jersey” she announced 

Chapter Text

“Favorite movie?” Lynn asked

“Nightmare before christmas”

“Favorite color?”

“Green”

“Favorite song?”

“Um…Hey there Delilah, Plain White T’s”

“Do you have a favorite number?”

“Number 7. Any number with a 7 I consider lucky” you answered

This was how you spent your afternoons, in the attic of Lynn’s house, sitting in a mat, eating chips, leaning on to some old boxes, getting to know each other.

“My turn” you told her “Favorite snack?”

“Pretzels”

“Favorite TV show?”

“Love boat”

“Favorite activity?”

“Wrestling”

“Favorite sport?”

“Trick question, I love all of them” Lynn answered before shoving the chips in her mouth

“Do you have a favorite sibling?”

“I can’t answer that” she replied with chips still in her mouth

You giggled at the amount of cheese powder on her face “You have something here”

You reached over her mouth and swiped your thumb from the corner of her lips to the middle part of her bottom lip.

This already shocked Lynn but what you did next almost made her lose control.

You licked the cheese powder from your thumb that was just on her lips.

Lynn felt like she had to look away, she can feel blood settling on her ears “Why do you keep doing that?” She asked

“What?”

“Making me nervous all of a sudden”

This earned a smile from you “It’s not like we haven’t kissed yet Lynn”

“Yeah, but, we… haven’t really…” Lynn was trying to find the right words “Talked about it yet”

You cleaned the cheese powder from your fingers and lips, ready to have a serious talk with her

“Like…Do you… somehow, like… me?” Lynn gave you a nervous glance.

Ever since your kiss, Lynn has spent her nights in bed thinking about what will happen between the two of you. Are you guys dating? Hanging out? Friends?

You found her question very cute so instead of responding you just gave her a blushing giggle.

Lynn cleared her throat “Cuz, it’s okay if you don’t. I’m cool with it” Suddenly fixing her posture and focusing on the bag of chips in her hands

“Lynn, I do. I do like you” you assured her

Lynn looked up and gave you one of her dimpled smile in response

You start asking her back “Do you like me?”

Never in Lynn’s mind did she ever imagine you asking that, but now that it’s actually happening it felt more unreal

“Yes, I really do” Lynn replied, immediately blushing after

-

It has been a week since you and Lynn have acknowledged each others feelings, and it has almost been a month since your fist kiss. It has been amazing. You have been at her house every day after school, you sometimes also stay later to have dinner with her family.

At school, you guys give each other side glances with smiles in class, talking in the corridors, and of course the occasional kisses.

It was PE. The whole class was stretching outside

Lynn was practicing her kicks for soccer in the fields.

Every now and then you glance at Lynn, just to see if you could make eye contact ‘accidentally’. You were stretching your hamstrings until your classmate Henry came talking to you.

He kept asking questions about the class.

Over time both of you kept talking the entire PE class, even partnered up for one of the activities. By the end of the period, you and Henry kept kept making jokes and laughing at each other

“You were the one that kept running even though I fell” Henry argued while laughing

“You were the one who kept insisting that we need to win, I was just doing what you told me” You justified sarcastically

Both of your faces were now red, Henry kept clutching his stomach and slight tears form in your eyes.

After your laughters died down Henry asked you “What do you usually do after school?”

“Recently I have been at Lynn’s house to finish our project”

Henry rubbed the back of his head “I was just thinking, if we could maybe hang out, out of school?”

You raised your eyebrows as a response

“You know, I guess I’m… sort of, asking you out” Henry finally let out

As flattered as you are you couldn’t help but think about how this could’ve turned into a friendship, and of course because you already have someone else

“Um, thank you Henry, but I have to say no”

Henry gave you a nod with a compassionate smile “Understandable,”

“I am happy to be your friend, if you want” you insisted

Before Henry could reply to that, a soccer ball suddenly came flying on his head, startling both him and you

On the other side of the field was Lynn, she hasn’t been able to focus the whole training since she saw you hanging out with Henry.

It was rare for Lynn to be out of her game, she always scored. But today it was nothing but missed shots and distracted passes.

What pushed her was when she saw Henry making you laugh. When was he ever a funny guy? she thought

Putting down her water bottle and getting up from the bench she was sitting on.

Approaching one of the soccer balls in the field, aiming it on Henry’s head after giving a hard kick to it

It landed perfectly on Henry’s head. Lynn for the win! She thought

“Sorry!” She shouted to him before going back to her water break

-

Lynn opened the front door of her house but was surprised to see a stoic look on your face.

“I know what you did,” you said “Why would you do that to Henry?”

“Let’s go to my room” Lynn insisted, not wanting to have this conversation where her family could hear

She held the door of her room after you entered “You know his nose was bleeding after what happened, right?” You reminded her. Removing your bag from your shoulders to sit down on her bed

Lynn couldn’t even look you in the eye “I know” she dragged out

Violence is never the thing you tolerated, and the fact that Lynn was doing it raises a red flag for you

You waited for her to explain herself but there was nothing but silence for a few seconds.

Lynn stood there with her hands on her hips “Are you friends with him?” She asked

This flabbergasted you “Am I not allowed to be friends with Henry?” You asked back

“No– that’s not what I mean”

“Then what do you mean Lynn” you asked softly as you can see she’s getting a little frustrated

Lynn sighed as she rubbed both her hands on her forehead, you never saw her this anxious so you grew concerned

“It’s just that, you guys kept laughing and talking to each other. He kept staring at you, you kept giving him a smile”

Lynn let out an anxious laugh “It sounds stupid when I’m talking about it now”

She looked down in embarrassment “I don’t think I have the right to feel this way when… we’re not even girlfriends” she added, almost in a mumble but enough for you to hear

You can see that Lynn was upset, not with you, but with herself.

You both have acknowledged each other’s feelings, but you and Lynn aren’t really official yet. And you can see how that was affecting her.

You have thought about making it official with her, you just thought that it was too early but now hearing her say that made you want to be her girlfriend even more

You reached for her hand and pulled her to sit beside you on the bed

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” You finally asked her

The pacing of Lynn’s heart started to increase she started to feel like it was hard to breathe.

“Wait” she turned her entire body to face you “I really don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to be with me just because I acted that way.” Lynn explained

You understand where she is coming from 

“Right” you nodded “That’s too bad, cuz I really wanted to be your girlfriend” you teased her while you looked away disappointingly.

Lynn had this panic over her face

“But that’s okay too, I could just go home” before you could fully stand up Lynn immediately grabbed both of your arms and sat you back down

“What?” You asked giggling at her

“Are you sure you want to do this?” She asked

“Lynn,” you reached for her hands and held both of them “I want to be your girlfriend,” you stared in her eyes to make sure that she knows you mean it “Do you want to be mine?”

Lynns gaze softened, all that she could do was grab your neck and kiss you.

Chapter Text

There are times when Lynn would just pull you to her room once you get to the front door of her house, wanting as much privacy as possible. 

Once you are in her room, you both can’t help but get into a giggling mess before kissing each other.

It has been 2 weeks since you two became official, and Lynn has been so comfortable around you. The awkward and nervous Lynn you first met was slowly opening up to you. 

Most of the time she was the one initiating kisses and hand holding, she sometimes even cuddles you until she falls asleep when you’re both in her bed. 

But it wasn’t like this the first time.

The day after establishing the relationship (the day after you became girlfriends)

Luna was practicing in her room all day for another gig she had tomorrow. 

Next to her door was Lynn, “Luna!” She called out loud enough for her to hear over the electric guitar

“Got a minute?” Lynn asked 

“Sure little dude” Luna moved so that Lynn had space to sit next to her on the bed. 

If Lynn had a choice, she wouldn’t do this, but she didn’t. 

“I… just wanted to know” Lynn trailed out

Luna had no idea what she was talking about so she grew curious.

“How… How do you…properly kiss girls?” 

Luna smiled at her “You want to kiss her?” knowing that she was referring to you

“We already did but– “

“WHAT?!” Luna exclaimed

Putting down her guitar and getting up to close the door of her room. Knowing their walls were already thin, they just needed the privacy they could get.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Luna asked quietly and excitedly 

“Not the point Luna, plus we’re already dating now” Lynn announced

“WHAT?!” Luna exclaimed again

“The point is, she did all the first moves. First kiss, first hand holding, she was even the first one to ask if she could be my girlfriend” Lynn listed down like she was complaining

Luna’s heart melted “Aww, that’s so sweet– “

“Luna, again, not the point” Lynn snapped her out of it “From now on, I also want to do the first everything. I mean, I know I don’t want to be in a relationship where I always make the first move” She explained

“So what do I do?” Lynn asked eagerly 

“Okay, before all that I just want to remind you something” Luna turned to face her “This is not a competition. If she genuinely likes you, it’s not going to matter to her who initiates the first whatever” 

Lynn sometimes lets her competitiveness get the best of her; she might not notice it but does happen 

“Yeah, sure” Lynn dismisses her “Now, will you help me or not?”

Luna sighed “Okay, first off, the vibe must be right. You can’t just make out with her out of nowhere. When the time comes when you two are kissing, try to signal her, that’s where touching can start”

Lynn crosses her arms with a confused look “Okay… But how do I know where to put my hands?”

“Her back, her waist, her neck, shoulders, head, face—anywhere that she consents to. Be gentle and natural with it, you don’t want to grab her harshly” Luna advised

Lynn took mental notes in her head “Okay, so… what about the actual… make out thing?” She trailed off nervously

“Well… I don’t know how far you guys have gone, but I’ll just tell you what I know” 

Luna lifted up both her hands and faced her fingers with each other “When kissing, your lips can’t collide if both your heads are straight, you have to turn your heads," She tilted her both hands a bit as a demonstration "Or else you’re going to break each other’s nose”

“And when she does consent making out, start slow at first. Maybe start licking her lips”

“Okay” Lynn nodded 

“Quick tip, open your jaw, you don’t want it to be like a snake, with just your tongue out” Luna grinned

“It has to glide in there” Luna demonstrated with both her hands “And once she’s also doing it too, your tongues shouldn’t crash together” Luna made both her fingers crash together to show what 'not' to do.

“One has to be over another, or from the sides. Like you’re just finding empty spaces” Lynn watched her hands closely “It’s just a pattern, you go in and then you go out.”

“Remember to open your mouth and your tongue just has to follow” Luna advised

-

Lynn has done everything she didn’t used to do. Cleaned her room, tidied up her sports balls, and fixed that one pile of laundry that had been there for months. 

If her mom could’ve seen it, she would’ve thought the apocalypse was beginning. 

Lynn wore her new lucky jersey again, in hopes that there was still luck in it. She has brushed her teeth at least 3 times and almost finished half a bottle of mouthwash

All her nervousness was out the door when she saw you on her front porch “Hi” you greeted her

“Sorry, we’re full of Girl Scout cookies already.” Lynn teased you

You just rolled your eyes at her as you entered their house.

As you got closer to her you got a small whiff of a musky smell

“Are you wearing perfume?” You asked confusedly

Lynn never wears perfume. She always thinks that it is unnatural and it always makes her head hurt

Lynn scratched her neck “Well-“ 

She was immediately cut off by an eager sibling “We're playing the Settlers of Catland and we need more players. Can you both of you please join?” Lincoln asked desperately with a whine

Behind him were the twins, Lucy, and Lisa, all in the living room circling around a board game in the coffee table.

“If she’s playing I want her to be on my team” Lola declared 

“It’s not a team game” Lisa argued “But if she were to form an alliance it should be with someone who shares the same intellect” she added, referring to herself 

Your heart melted at their enthusiasm “I would love to play with you guys–“

“But we really need to finish our project, so maybe another night” Lynn chimed in 

A disappointed ‘aww’ came from all of them as Lynn pushed you towards the stairs “Sorry guys, I’ll be here for dinner though” you tried to cheer them up

It was not long until you and Lynn were again alone in her room. 

You almost thought you entered a different room because it does not look the same as last time. First of all, it smelled really different. Most of the time Lynn's room smelled like mint because of the shampoo she uses, but right now it smelled like old dead flowers

The stuff that she usually has are now no where to be found— sports equipment, trophies and some of her clothes.

“What, happened to your room?”

Lynn shrugged her shoulders “Just cleaned up a bit”

“A bit?” You raised your eyebrows, a mix of amusement and confusion “This looks like a bedroom from a magazine catalog”

Lynn walked to her bed “Well, I am basically good at everything” she confidently boasted and laid her body on the bed

“Did you… spray perfume here?”

“It’s actually the scented candles I lit up” She pointed at Lucy’s bedside table, half a jar of flower-scented candles. “Lori gave it to me; thought it would freshen up the place. Plus, I have some of Lincoln’s cologne on me”

Lynn was acting weird, and you didn’t fail to notice it. 

“Is something wrong? You’re acting kind of… different today” you asked her

Lynn was feeling the pressure build, and tried to brush it off “Different? I feel fine. Are you okay?” She threw back the question with a smirk on her face

You gave her an awkward flatlined smile and just nodded “Okay…”

A strange tension was between you and her. The way Lynn spoke to you was not how it usually was, her tone was mostly soft and friendly with you, but now it was sarcastic.

Diverting on something else, you suggested “We could continue the project in the dining room, while no one is there” pointing at the door behind you, ready to leave

Lynn panicked a bit in her mind, she didn’t want you to leave the room.

“Or, we could lay down for a bit, get some rest” she suggested, casually patting the space beside her on the bed and crossing her arms.

“But you’re the one who said we need to finish our project?” You asked, referring to what Lynn said to her siblings a while ago “Come on, we’ll get more things done when we start early” You try to encourage her

As you turn around to open the door, Lynn is on a mission to stop you. She got up swiftly and held an arm between you and the door

A small nervous ‘Wait’ came out of her lips before she tried to convince you. “L-Let’s just… stay here for a bit, I’m sure my siblings are too 

loud in the living room. Let’s wait for a while!”

You looked at Lynn, she had a small smile on but her eyes looked so anxious that small beads of sweat were building up in her forehead.

“Lynn, is something wrong?” Genuine concern in your voice

“Nothing, I’m fine!” 

“Really? Because you seem on edge and you respond so sarcastically to me” You crossed your arms annoyingly “You’re not acting like yourself and… I feel like you’re hiding something”  

You didn’t want to hurt her feelings but you just don't like the way she’s acting with you

This was not the way Lynn imagined the day to end. She felt embarrassed realizing that was how she made you feel.

Her hands felt clammy, feeling like this was going to end in a fight

Lynn took a while to respond, not knowing what to say. You can see how she was avoiding eye contact, this made you wary “Maybe… I should just leave?” You asked her, even though you didn't want to

Lynn quickly reached for your forearms to hold you in place “No, please” 

Lynn sighs tiredly while rubbing her forehead, trying to think of something to say.

“I’m sorry” was all that left her mouth

“You’re sorry for…?” You trailed off

“Making you feel that way, I didn’t mean to” she replied softly

Her small apology resulting in no explanation pushed you into you teasing her “You see, I don’t know which part you’re sorry about” you acted dumb and sarcastic to ease the tension. This made Lynn let out a small grin “I’m quite slow and don’t really get– “

“Stop” Lynn lays her head on your shoulders in embarrassment “You’re making me nervous” she said with a shy smile that you couldn’t see

You smiled at this act “There’s my shy Lynn” you whispered 

“It doesn’t make any sense that I’m only nervous around you, I’m literally assertive with everyone” Lynn complained while she still hid her head on  your shoulder 

“Okay, come here you big baby” You grabbed her arms and lay her on her bed. 

Lynn was still embarrassed to look at you so she just buried her head in her pillow

“You’re acting weird Lynn” You stood beside her bed

“I know” Her voice muffled by the pillows

“You reek of musky cologne and your room looks like it was raided” You kneeled on the floor to be on the same level as her head

“Where are your trophies and sports equipment anyway?” You asked her

Thinking of a lie she could tell you, but just gave up “Shoved it in Lucy’s closet” she confessed 

You put your hands on the edge of her bed and rested your chin on it “What’s going on?” You asked softly 

It wasn’t like Lynn to not be herself, it worried you what drove her to be like this

Lynn turned her head slightly to peek at your face “Promise you won’t laugh?”

“If I did, will you tell me?”

Lynn turned to her back and was now facing the ceiling. As for you, you lay down beside her in the same position. 

You both sort of settled there together for a few moments in silence while you waited for Lynn to speak.

“I just thought that it was unfair to you to always do the first move between the two of us” Lynn confessed “Our first kiss, first to ask if we could be official, heck, you were even the first to ask if I liked you, and I’ve liked you since middle school” she added, in disbelief with herself 

You turned your head towards her “You’ve liked me since middle school?”

That question only earned a look from Lynn

“Really?” You asked, a little bit shocked as you turned your body to face her.

Lynn sighed and licked the inside of her cheek, she was so not playing this cool

“This was not how I expected the day to turn out” Lynn shook her head 

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused as to why Lynn was being so hard on herself about this

“Lynn” you reached for her hand that was lying on her stomach, gently intertwining each finger together

Your eyes stayed on hers while she still looked at the ceiling “I want you to know that I don’t care that you didn’t kiss me first, or if I was the one who asked you to be my girlfriend” you try to assure her “Hey, look at me” you called out.

She turned her head, her green eyes looking more darker than usual 

“Did you not want to kiss me back then?” 

“No, I wanted to” Lynn replied 

“Did you lie when I asked you to be my girlfriend?”

“Of course not” She answered worriedly 

“Then that’s all I need” you shrugged your shoulders carelessly “I don’t care who does what first, as long as it's with you” 

After you said that, everything that Lynn was worried about became a little funny to her like it was ridiculous of her to even think that. 

It’s also quite hilarious how out of touch she becomes when your presence is near

Lynn gave you a wide grin “Have you noticed what I’m wearing?” She asked referring to her jersey 

You took a moment to look and examine her outfit, but you still had no clue “I’m sorry but I have no idea” you replied apologetically 

“It’s the jersey I wore when we first kissed”

“Is it?” You looked down at the number 17 on her chest and it started to look familiar 

Lynn then pointed at her hair “I even looked for the hair tie I used that day” 

Lynn is a very superstitious person, when she’s on games she does anything if it means that there is a chance for luck to be on her side.

Were you missing something? Is there a reason why Lynn was doing all of this?  you kept thinking

You got up and lay your elbows on the bed to get a better look at her “Quick question, Is there a reason why you’re doing all of this?”

Lyn let out a sigh and then moments later started cracking up

“What? Just tell me“ you urged, growing more curious 

Her laughter gave you a smile

Lynn removed her hand from yours and used them to cover her eyes “It’s so embarrassing” she called out

“Is it, because you wanted to kiss me again?” You tried to guess

“No–I mean, yes… but it’s…” Lynn looked at you as you patiently waited 

She sighed “I sort of, wanted… to make out with you”

This caught you off guard, you didn’t know she wanted to take a step forward. You only started dating yesterday

“Oh” was all that came out of your mouth while you avoided meeting her eyes afraid of disappointing her

Lynn started to recognize the discomfort and shock on your face. She turned her body towards you “I’m sorry” she immediately replied “I know it’s too early and it's a big step forward” 

“I would never do anything that you don’t want, okay?” Lynn looked at you with sincerity in her eyes.

Hurting you in the slightest way was the last thing that Lynn ever wanted. She wants to beat herself up for not even thinking about how this would affect you.

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t think this through” she apologized again while shaking her head

You started to wonder “Well… you could, take me out on a date” you suggested quitely

This made Lynn groan and hold her head “Ugh, why am I so stupid?” She asked frustratingly

A date! Of course. Why didn’t I think of that? Lynn thought 

You found her more cute than she already is when she acts like this, bashful and shy.

Lynn has a very confident and charismatic exterior, she does not back down from anything. Unsurprisingly, most people from your grade are intimidated and sometimes even scared of her.

It makes you giddy on the inside how you are one of the handful of people who gets to see her like this.

“Just to let you know, you could still back out from this, I would understand” Lynn suggested, still hiding her face in her hands

“We just started, I’m not going anywhere Lynn” you giggled out a reply

Chapter Text

When Lynn removed her hand in her face and turned to look at you, there was a small moment where you both just stared at each other while smiling 

If someone told Lynn two months ago that she would be lying in her bed with her long-time crush beside her and just spend minutes staring at each other, she would’ve kicked that person’s ass for painting an image in her head that she would’ve never forgotten.

Your head was in the clouds. You examined every mark and freckle in her face, every stray hair and every small scar. 

God, is it possible to love her this much? You thought

Your vision became blurry. This shocked you; you’ve never really thought of the L word and Lynn in the same sentence before. 

This made you panic a little bit Do I really love her? You asked yourself again.

While your mind was in space, Lynn’s eyes just kept staring at your face. A tint of pink was already spreading on her cheeks and ears, she still couldn’t stop smiling.

You held a neutral look on your face, breaking the silence Lynn asked “What are you thinking of? Seems deep”

Your vision became clear once you heard her gentle raspy voice and felt her finger rubbing a part of your arm this whole time. 

“Is the cologne getting to your nose and fogging your brain?” Lynn teasingly asked 

You giggled “Yes, it’s hurting my head, please take it off” slapping your hand over your forehead feeling a bit dizzy from the smell

Lynn got up and walked towards Lucy’s nightstand to blow on the lit candle 

“The cologne I used wasn’t Lincoln’s, it was actually one of Lola’s pageant perfumes” She lifted the hems of the lucky jersey she was wearing and took it off.

Your eyes went wide and you tried to look away from her by just looking ahead and staring at the ceiling. 

“Which makes it much worse since it could last days” she continued to complain while walking to her closet

Lynn was so casual with it, but you swear you could hear symphonies in your head.

It wasn’t the first time you saw her arms on display, you always see her in muscle tees when she’s training in school. It wasn’t a big deal.

Maybe it’s because this time her shirt had thin straps and her collarbones were... Nevermind.

Lynn now changed into a completely different shirt, and because of that, you had an idea.

“Wait, come here” You got up and motioned her to sit in front of you

Lynn followed and waited

“Let down your hair” you ordered

With a questioning look, she followed “Okay,”

Her hair cascaded down to her shoulders and hid her neck. It was the first time you ever saw her with her hair down

You waited for her to take off her hair tie before taking it from her. It was thin and it was color yellow 

“I’m gonna keep this okay?” You told her as you took it

Not knowing what you were doing, Lynn just agreed.

You removed your necklace and decided to put it on her. Sensing your intention, Lynn pulled her hair to the side and faced her back to you

Your breath shortened, her fingertips gently dragging across the nape of her neck. 

Now that Lynn took off her jersey, her natural scent was finally coming to your senses, it was a minty fragrance mixed with honey. 

This reminds you of the first time you noticed her smell, it was also the first time when both of you publicly displayed your affection with one another. 

It was the week after your first kiss in their attic and she had just finished her afterschool training. She came out of the locker room, freshly showered, hair was up and damp with small pieces of it sticking to her forehead 

You swore the world was in slow motion when she walked towards you.

There was just something about her fresh appearance that made you lose focus for a while. 

You almost didn’t notice when she apologized for making you wait, your response was a stuttered ‘it’s okay’, still so stunned by her

To make up for it, she offered to walk you home, Lynn opened her hand for you to reach.

That was when you started to become hyper-aware of the fact that both of you weren’t alone, you were in a hallway full of people.

But when you looked at Lynn, she had that courageous look on her face, and you knew that you would never want to be the cause of destroying that.

Her hands were colder than yours but somehow you could feel your body warm up from it

You felt some eyes on you, but what distracted you from all of that was Lynn’s fresh earthy smell. You swore you could get used to this.

You tried your best not to make your hands shake when you clipped the necklace on her neck

Lynn looked down and touched the pendant on the necklace, it was a tiny blue anchor.

“There, no lucky jersey or hair tie” you showed her. Lynn still gave you a confused look 

“This time, you won’t need those lucky things when you’re with me” 

Once those words left your mouth Lynn felt her heart jump a little. 

You drew your face closer to her and pressed your lips on hers, and it was the longest kiss you ever had with each other. The last time you ever kissed this deeply was when both of you were interrupted in the attic.

Lynn’s mind was running a mile a minute, she couldn’t believe that she was experiencing all of this without needing her lucky jersey on her. 

When you pulled away, Lynn couldn’t help but stare at you with heart eyes. Pressing her lips together, trying not to smile because she could still feel your lips lingering on hers

Knowing you made her shy, you gave her an encouraging smile. “You know, I’ve never seen you with your hair down before” Admiring how her hair falls on her shoulders. 

Lifting your hand to reach the side of her face and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

That was the last straw for Lynn. 

Lynn always felt uncomfortable when someone touched her hair, but once she felt your fingers brush past her ears, her body felt like it could melt.

It made Lynn throw all caution to the wind. She closed the gap between your faces again, this time, she had no intentions of letting go at short notice. 

One of Lynn’s hands stayed on your jaw while the other held your hand. Her lips moved at a slow and gentle pace, carefully taking her time before going in again.

You could feel your face heat up from all of this. Trying your hardest not to smile, so you gripped a part of her shirt with your other hand. 

Lynn turned her head to the other side while her hands rested on your neck, carefully moving to not bump your noses 

It felt too intimate to even think about, especially since the relationship just started. Now that it was actually happening, you were reciting prayers in your head to every God who might be listening, thanking them for every moment that led up to this. 

Lynn kept reminding herself to be as soft and slow as possible. She is not known for her gentle nature, but it feels worth it at the moment when she’s finally got you gripping her clothes and smiling on her lips.

It felt tempting to just open her eyes and look at your blushing face, all she could do was lock your fingers together and focus on controlling her urges

You let go of her shirt and lifted your hand to brush away Lynn’s hair that was on the side of her face, you carefully tucked it behind her ear and settled your hand on the side of her head. 

This made Lynn’s actions come to a slow stop.

As you were going for more, Lynn slowly pulled away. With dilated eyes, she looked at your lips before looking at you.

Remembering how you weren’t ready to take a step forward, Lynn figured that she should stop before things got more heated.

Your faces were still inches apart, you could feel Lynn’s breath hitting your lips. So, with every breath she took you could feel your bones slightly shake 

“Why’d you stop?”

“Believe me, I didn’t want to.” Lynn shook her head while taking slow breaths “I just figured it’s too early for us. I really don’t want to rush things with you”

She licked her lips “Plus, knowing that you’re not ready; I don’t think it’s right”

You thought you knew yourself already, but when you and her shared that amazing experience, you figured you might be wrong.

“What if I told you I was?” You whispered 

Lynn’s ears perked up. Of course that sparked her interest but it also scared her all at once

Lynn held both your arms and made direct eye contact “Hey, it’s totally fine. I understand if you’re not ready” Lynn assures you “I don’t want you to feel pressured just because I want to”

You sighed and looked down at your hands “We’ll, I thought I didn’t… But then, you…” 

You looked up at her caring eyes, smiled; remembering the moment that happened a while ago, and looked down again nervously.

This was all new to you. You have never been in a relationship with anyone like what you have with Lynn, so you don’t really know the concept and the feeling of ‘being ready’. All you know about yourself is that you’ll never know you’ll like something unless you try it

“And I feel okay. I feel amazing actually….” You looked at her with stars in your eyes and she looked at you like she was ready to map out every constellation in it

“So, I thought… maybe, I could be ready” 

Blood was rushing to reach Lynn's ears. When you looked at her and then looked down nervously, she felt her stomach do loops

She held both your hands, and with sincerity in her eyes she asked “Are you sure you want to do this?” Quietly and calmly “Because I would never want to if you don’t–“ 

You cut her off with a kiss, this time both of your hands were on her face so she’ll have no escape.

Lynn’s tense lips softened once you kissed her. You can feel every muscle in her cheeks progressively relax with every move of your lips.

Lynn swears she could live with this for the rest of her life. She smiled in between the kisses, hands resting on your knee

Even while Lynn was out of her mind, she suddenly remembered her younger siblings downstairs.

She lifted both hands to remove yours from her face, gently pulling away. “Wait,” she told you while squeezing your hands

Lynn got up from the bed and hung a ‘Do not disturb’ sign outside the door before locking it.

She turned around and saw a puzzled look on your face.

“Didn’t want to be interrupted again” she explained while walking towards you.

You gave her a giggle as a response. You held out your palms and she locked her fingers together with yours.

And because she was standing and you were sitting, she crouched down to your level and kiss you once again. 

It felt like both your lips were magnets, they kept pulling each other together. But Lynn had other plans

When you thought she wasn’t gonna let go, Lynn pulled away again. “Just tell me to stop whenever, okay?” Lynn tried to reassure you again but you just grew impatient.

“That’s the third time you pulled away, I’m getting annoyed” you complained in a monotonous voice.

Lynn let out a chuckle and sat back down in the bed. This time, she really wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon.

She held the sides of your head with both hands and the movements of her lips became faster than before—it was more eager, more deep.

There was now a slight pressure in between your faces, you feel it in your jaw

Your hands brushed one side of Lynn’s hair away from her shoulders and slowly cascaded it down from her back to settle it on her waist

Lynn breathes in between your kisses, making it much harder for you to maintain a stable composure. 

One of her hands descended to your jaw, gently dragging her thumb along your cheek and to your chin.

Lynn thought it was amazing how she could even feel these type of things when she’s with you. It was like a chemical reaction happening in her brain that only you could activate.

She kept saving up her courage for the last 2 days, and finally, she felt that she could do it.

'Surprised' was an understatement of how you felt when Lynn finally took that step; she opened her mouth and lightly licked a part of your bottom lip

The warm sensation stunned you.

Lynn of course didn’t rush you. After she did that her movement came to a halt and she just rested her face close to yours while both of you kept your eyes closed. 

Both of you were breathing the same air, “Was that okay?” She asked

“Yes” you breath out

Once Lynn heard you she let out a smile before closing the gap between your lips again, a small smack echoed in the quiet room.

You breathed through your nose as Lynn continued what she started. As nervous as you are you begin to open your mouth for her.

Lynn almost felt her soul jump out of her body when she felt your lips open from her tongue.

She dragged it along the top part of your lip and before pulling it back and pursuing her lips. Trying her best to hide her smile while she copes with the reality that you are kissing her back.

Lynn’s hand traveled up to the back of your head while the other stayed in your jaw. It doesn’t seem like she wants to let go of you any time sooner, and you were a hundred percent okay with it

Lynn kept remembering Luna’s advice, constantly reminding herself to not touch or grab you too harshly. 

While Lynn took caution of her every movement, you, on the other hand, were loving every second of it.

Every muscle in your body felt relaxed in her touch, it was like your body was under anesthesia, but your brain is the most active it has ever been.

Before you knew it your actions carried you away and it ended with you hovering Lynn on the bed.

It all started when Lynn held the back of your head. Because of that, the kiss had more pressure, and while that was happening Lynn kept a steady performance; being gentle but with a firm certainty.

Your body went on autopilot and began pushing Lynn by her shoulders, slowly settling her down the bed. Your hand that was on Lynn’s waist was now sprawled on the sheets beside her head, and your other hand held her shoulders and then her back, offering some type of support while she slowly laid down

As surprised as Lynn was, she just let it happen. You kept caressing Lynn’s jaw with one hand while the other held the bed for support

Lynn’s nervous hands were now gripping on your waist and your elbow, while you kept kissing Lynn back like your life depended on it.

What really made Lynn panic was when she realized the position you were in; you were straddling one of her thighs

When she felt the sensation of your legs on her thighs, her breathing stopped for a moment, as a reaction she had to pull away and catch her breath.

As soon as both of your lips lost contact and her breath hit your mouth it was like you woke up from a dream, you were lying on her bed but Lynn was under you.

Your eyes went wide, embarrassment was quick to hit you. “Oh my God, I am so sorry” 

You pushed yourself off of her and removed your leg that was in between hers. Your body crashed down beside her, covering your face in humiliation

Your actions kept replaying in your head like it was a punishment. What were you thinking?!

Your actions also kept replaying in Lynn’s head, but it didn’t feel like a punishment for her.

She kept trying to cover her mouth, but her giggles could not be controlled, she turned to see your embarrassed face and it made her laugh even more 

“Well I guess we won’t be doing that anytime soon” Lynn declared breaking the awkwardness

You let out a giggle in disbelief

For a moment the atmosphere of the quiet room was filled with deep breaths from you and Lynn. 

Your thoughts ran wild as you kept thinking about what would’ve happened if Lynn hadn’t stopped you.

You turn your body towards her “Lynn, I’m really sorry” you apologize again “I shouldn’t have done that. I–l didn’t know what I was thinking, I got carried away, I know I should’ve asked you first and–“

“Hey,” Lynn cut you off. Her voice steady but soft “It’s okay… I didn’t mind it” she shyly told you

“I don’t want to rush things between us, I just–“ you sighed frustratingly “I got caught up in the moment" 

Lynn’s expression softened “It was new, but it felt… right, didn’t it?” looking at you for assurance

You looked deeply into her eyes, which felt like a death wish because it felt like you could drown in them any second. 

At that moment the answer to the previous question you had in your mind became clear as crystal, Yes, yes I do love her.

Chapter Text

There are certain things that Lynn thought made her who she is, and she depended on those things like her life would be incomplete without it.

With baseball, it was her signature dance.

Before she pitches or bats, she does a dance ritual, and every time she does it she ~always~ wins.

However, this time Lynn chose to forgo that dance and continue without it.

It was so unlike her. If she was doing anything spontaneous, it wouldn’t be in her sports.

Lynn does not joke about her games, but right now, in the eyes of her coach and teammates, it looks like she is.

“It seems our star player Lynn Loud is experiencing difficulties batting today” Sports news anchor Johnson stated, his voice echoing in the stands “And the Crestwood Hyena’s star pitcher is close to striking her out”

His partner, sports news anchor Pep, agrees with him “I can tell you Johnson, It’s not looking good for the Squirrels. You see, Loud did not perform her signature good-luck rituals before the game. ” He explained

“I’m not a superstitious person, but she is already on her 2nd strike”

“If she doesn’t get this, then it’s ‘goodbye state’ for the team” Johnson said in pity

The crowd’s encouraging cheers was filling Lynn’s ears, but it didn’t occupy her mind.

“Time!” Coach Pacowski called out, a whistle was blown. He motioned Lynn towards him

Lynn let go of her bat and approached her coach with a heavy heart.

Coach Pacowski held a frustrated stance “What’s happening out there Loud?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening” she anxiously told him “I keep overthinking it”

Lynn kept racking her brain for solutions, she doesn’t want to be the reason her team doesn’t go to state. With a melancholic sigh, she decided “Pull me out, we’re gonna lose”

Coach Pacowski took a moment to make a decision. This was the first time that Lynn is experiencing this.

Figuring that this was a good time to have a teaching moment, he held his ground “No,” he shook his head

“You’re one of the best players on this team. I know, and everybody in this team, knows you can do this”

He grabbed her by the shoulder and crouched down to her level “I want you to go back there and empty your mind for a moment, try to focus on one thing and just do it .”

Coach Pacowski had this look in his eye, the look of bravery that he always gives to discouraged players. This was the first time he’s ever used it on Lynn

Like light speed, your face appeared on Lynn’s mind. Before the game even started, she kept looking at the crowd for any signs of your presence, but failed.

You on the other hand was also not having the best day. You were running late to the game, and because you were rushing, you accidentally took the wrong bus and had to take two more buses to reach your destination.

By the time you arrived, Lynn was already in the field. You came up the stands and squeezed yourself in the benches, constant ‘excuse me’s were thrown as you passed various families.

Once you saw one of Lynn’s sisters, you continued to see all of them. The Loud family were all present and cheering for Lynn.

“Hey! you came!” Luna gave you small side hug as a greeting

“Sorry I’m late, I took the wrong bus” you clarified

You look out in the field and saw Lynn talking with her coach “What’s happening?” you asked

Luna’s head turned to the side and her face showed a dissatisfied look “Well, Lynn’s having a little trouble; she’s on her 2nd strike now”

You grew concerned, Lynn has never been striked out before.

“They’re close to winning, but if she doesn’t get this, then her team won’t be able to move to state” Luna explained, which only fed your anxiety. “And by the way, Lynn kept asking where were earlier ” Luna added

As worried as you are for Lynn, guilt also crept in. Thinking your absence might have been one of the causes of her performance

When Lynn finally came back out the field and to the home plate, the Louds encouraging cheers filled the stands

“Let’s go Lynn! You can do this!”

“Get your head in the game!”

“You got this little dude!”

Lynn gripped her bat and licked her lips apprehensively, she took one last glimpse in the crowd to look for you. She scanned the corner where her family was, and when she finally saw your figure, her eyes brightened up

Even though Lynn was far away, you could see how her tensed features softened when she laid her eyes on you.

The biggest smile immediately formed in your face. You gave her a wave and she gave you a quick nod

Remembering her current situation, you try to help her out. You inhaled and exhaled exaggeratedly, signaling her to take a deep breath. “ You can do this”  you mouth encouraging words to her.

You might just consider it as a kind gesture, but to Lynn, it meant the whole world. Even with a crowd of people cheering her on, it doesn’t not measure up to a faithful act from you.

She turned to the opponent, grabbed her anchor necklace, and took a deep breath in.

For some reason, your supportive face is the only thing on Lynn’s mind.

She carefully swung the bat on her shoulder and positioned herself in her stance.

“Okay ladies and gentlemen, this is the last chance for the Squirrels, and their team captain Lynn Loud is under pressure”

“Question is, Pep, Is she gonna get it?”

The crowd’s anticipation kept growing. The loud cheers have died down to quiet whispers, sudden movements refrained, and Lynn’s mind was filled with images of you.

Her eyes stayed focus on the pitcher, and once she saw that ball in the air, she took a deep breath out.

Your hands were clenched together so tight, your fingers were turning white. Like a reflex, you were reciting prayers under your breath.

When Lynn swung her bat, not only did she perfecty hit the ball but the ball went to a distance that was out of reach to the defensive team

Once the ball hit her bat, she did not hesitate to start running towards the first base.

“And Loud is now in the move folks!”

Cheers started to increase again. You were already off your seat once you saw Lynn start running

“This might be another homerun for the team! Is Loud gonna get it?”

Lynn had so much adrenaline to the point that she didn’t even feel an ounce of fatigue in her body.

“Once she hit that third base Pep, then I’m just gonna consider it a win”

“Come on, come on, come on”  you whispered under your breath. Lynn has now passed the third plate and the defensive team was catching on

But they were no match for Lynn Loud

In no time, she had already stepped on the home plate before the ball could touch her.

“That’s a win for the Squirrels!” Sports news anchor Pep and Johnson both jumped from their seat at their team’s win

Cheers were echoing in the fields. Lynns teammates and coach were up from their seats and huddling up, ready to congratulate her

Yet Lynn didn’t stop running there, she continued to run until she was out of the field

“Looks like our team captain is taking her victory elsewhere”

For a second Lynn stopped and looked at the stands. The cheers of the crowd did continue but most of them were confused by what she was doing

“Where is Lynn going?” Rita asked aloud

She was breathing fast and deep. Lynn’s eyes traveled to various people in the stands, looking for signs of you.

Your eyes stayed on her, and once her eyes landed on you, the biggest grin formed in her face.

You couldn’t help but smile back

She started running again, and every step she took was more eager and determined.

Your heart was doing flips. You excused yourself, again squeezing pass cheering families. Lynn just started climbing up the stands, you were finally off the benches and is now stepping down its stairs

When Lynn saw you, she sprinted.

As tired as she already was, seeing you there made it worth it.

You turned to your right and Lynn was already 3 steps away from you. Before you could even process, she immediately took off her baseball hat and and hugged you so fast that it almost felt like a tackle

Her arms were tightly wrapped around your torso, and because of her height, your feet were now off the ground and your arms are on her shoulders

Because of the proximity you could feel Lynn’s heartbeat in your stomach.

As tired as Lynn is, her mind, heart, and body feel full. There was no greater victory than this.

“That was amazing!” You told her after hugging her back.

“It’s not a fulfilling afternoon for the Hyenas, Johnson.” He disappointingly reported

“But, it is official that the Squirrels will now move to state. They also have won their fifth consecutive win”

Sports news anchor Pep looked out into the fields “It seems that the Squirrels are now celebrating by throwing their beloved Coach Pacowski in the air”

“Although team captain Lynn Loud is still nowhere to be seen in this celebration” He added

“I might be wrong Pep, but I think that is her in the stands, and it looks like she’s hugging someone” Johnson observed

Pep took a look and quickly recognized you, “Well Johnson, it seem that our star player is hugging one of Royal Wood’s running valedictorians”

“This might be the cutest scene I have seen all season”

-

“Sorry I hugged you while I was sweaty” Lynn apologized

Both of you were walking pass the fields and to their family van.

“It’s fine, I’ll let it pass today because you guys won” you gave her a grin

Lisa, with a smile on her face, suddenly came running towards you and excitedly grabbed your hand “Can you sit beside me in Vanzilla? I badly need to discuss chemical reactions for cellular respirations with you” she pleaded

“Yeah Sure!” You tried to match Lisa’s enthusiasm while she pulled you towards the car doors.

Lynn just smiled at the two of you. It felt amazing to her how close you were getting with her family

“Another win for LJ!” Her dad suddenly came to her side, playfully punching her arm as a congratulations

“Thanks dad, and thanks for the support in the game” she expressed her gratitude “Although, with all the cheering, I think Paula might be developing a crush for Lincoln”

He let out a supportive chucked “Well, he will be a lucky fella”

“Speaking of lucky” he cleared his throat “So, you didn’t do your signature good-luck dance a while ago huh?” he asked in a curious tone

“Yeah. It’s not that I’m completely removing it to my routine, I just figured I didn’t need it at that time” she clarified

Lynn Sr. tried to hold back tears “You guys are growing up fast” he held her shoulder while his voice cracked.

Lynn Jr. grinned at her dad’s silliness “Plus, I have a new lucky charm now” she added shyly. After she told him that, she briefly turned her back and walked towards the trunk of the car to settle her bag, internally panicking about the uncertainty of what will happen

Lynn Sr. calmly followed her “I see,” he added

A moment of silence came between them. This was the awkward part that Lynn was afraid of, of course she loves her family dearly, but sharing emotional experiences with them can be difficult

By this time, almost everyone in the Loud family knows that what both you and Lynn share is more than just the typical friendships she had.

None of her friends ever hung out at their house after school for 2 months straight. They don’t secretly hold hands when they think no one is looking, and they don’t fall asleep on the couch, snuggling together while watching TV

“You guys getting close?” Lynn Sr. continued. How uncomfortable she may be, he knows it is necessary for them to have this conversation

“Y-Yeah…. Well,” After sorting out her bags in the trunk, Lynn nervously turned to her dad, still not looking him in the eye.

“Actually…” she hesitated for a second, but when she saw her dad’s supportive expression, she thought otherwise

“It’s been a month since we started dating. I’m sorry for… not telling you guys,” She lifted her head and scratched the back of her neck, feeling embarrassed.

Lynn Sr. took a moment to think, but she took it in the wrong context, so she started to explain herself  “I wanted to figure things out before sharing it to everyone, but then… ” Lynn’s eyes traveled to you and Lisa chatting inside vanzilla

It felt so wholesome to Lynn how you fit so easily in her life.

“Me and her just happen” Lynn added in a sigh

Lynn Sr. gave her a smille, appreciating her courage. “Well, first off, you don’t have to apologize that you didn’t tell us. You don’t owe it to anyone”

This made Lynn’s heart soar.

“I thought you guys would be… disappointed” Lynn was thanking the universe, because turns out she was wrong

Lynn Sr. put his hand on her shoulders “Honey, we would never be disappointed in you. You’re allowed to date whoever you want”

Lynn was glad this happened, now she doesn’t feel like she has to hide who she is just because she’s uncertain about how people would react.

Plus, now she can openly flirt with you without having to be in her bedroom or the attic

“Always remember that, okay? Don’t let other people tell you that you should be something other than yourself”

Now, this was the best part. Lynn hearing her dad say that felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. Quickly realizing that she was all worried for nothing

“And…” he trailed off “Me and your mom just want to let you know, that you are now officially not allowed to have your door closed when she comes over”

All he received was a tasteless sigh paired with a sarcastic eye roll from Lynn

Chapter Text

The library was empty and the only noise in the entire room was the whistling sound of the radiator, the scribbling of your pen, and once in a while, the sound of paper being turned by the librarian’s book, Mrs. Whitaker.

It was the last week of November and assessment tests are coming up before the start of Christmas break. You had a test on AP Calculus tomorrow, and one on History next week.

Your hair was tied up and your mind was locked in for longer than you can even remember. You and Mrs. Whitaker were the only people in the library, thinking maybe it was already late and most students have probably left the school. 

You occasionally rub your hands together when you feel the cold start to get to you. You’re surprised it hasn’t started snowing yet, you swore you were getting frostbite on your way to school this morning

The sound of heavy footsteps made you lift your head up your book. 

It was from Lynn who was in her after-training clothes, with a puffer jacket that made a noise every move she made. Her nose and cheeks were flushed pink from the cold and she looked a little out of breath

“Hi”

“Hey” you greeted her back

Lynn pulled the chair across from you and casually placed her sports bag on the table. This created a loud thud and in return she received a irritable ‘shh’ from Mrs. Whitaker.

Lynn promptly raised her palms up and let out a quiet sorry to her. 

You smiled at their interaction 

“Someone’s cranky” she whispered to you as she took her seat

“She hasn’t had her afternoon coffee yet” 

Lynn nodded her head, understanding. “How long have you been here?” 

Pulling your sleeve to see 5:34 pm on your watch, “Almost 3 hours now”

Lynn gave you a surprised look “You should take a break” she said concerningly

“It’s okay, I was just finishing” you setted and finally closed your book. “Plus, you’re here now” 

“I’m sorry I kept you waiting, I didn’t know Coach would start our training for the state game today” she apologized, still feeling the heat from the training in her muscles

You started to tidy up your things “It’s okay, my test on AP calculus is tomorrow and I can’t concentrate when I study at home”

“Been there”

In Lynn’s head it was impossible for her to even think about trying to study in her house. With her 10 siblings, someone is bound to be fighting, screaming, and doing something they’re not supposed to. 

In your case, it was different. You can’t study with the amount of silence, it reached a point where you could even hear the your neighbors conversations when they’re in their kitchen. 

The small noises of people in libraries brings you comfort. For some reason, knowing that other people are around you makes you feel safe and at ease

Lynn helped you out and started putting your pens back in its case “So, are you free tomorrow night?” she asked

“Oh I can’t, I have a birthday dinner with my parents”

“Whose birthday?” she asked

“Mine”

“WHAT” 

Lynn stopped what she was doing and held a disbelief look

This time, Mrs. Whitaker gave her a warning and with a firm voice said “Please maintain silence”

With your lips pressed together you grew worried as Mrs. Whitaker's converged eyebrows are now in display

Lynn leaned her head forward and loudly whispered “Why didn’t you tell me it was your birthday tomorrow?” 

“I thought you knew” you said confusedly

Lynn had once mentioned about her affection started way back when both of you were in middle school, so you assumed she already knew things about you

Lynn shrugged her shoulders “I knew we were the same age but I never knew your birthday”

“It’s just dinner with my parents, I’m not having a party” you explained 

“No party? Where’s the fun in that?” Lynn was skeptic 

“I never really liked parties, especially with people I barely even know” you clarified nonchalantly 

You hated birthdays. It was always a way for your parents to make up for not being home most of the time, but deep down you knew it was not the case.

In your last birthday celebration, your parent’s friends and a group of your their investors was courteously invited, in the end it didn’t even fell like your part anymore

It felt like you were being paraded, like a show dog where your main purpose is to amaze an audience. 

You wonder if this would be the year they’d finally remember to stay, to truly celebrate with you, rather than just checking off a box from their schedule.

“Will your siblings be there?” Lynn asked

“Probably not, they are all over the place” you sighed

“My brother is finishing his masteral thesis in New York, and my sister’s on an outreach program in the Philippines, she’ll be staying there for 2 months”

“No siblings” Lynn trailed off warily with an unsure face

You can sense that she was sad for you. “I’ll have fun Lynn, don’t worry” you assured her

Lynn understands that birthdays may not be a big thing for you, but its a big thing for her. She has not forgotten a single birthday party she had ever since she was 6, and she wants you to have that. Lynn has now dedicated herself to making your birthdays more memorable from now on

“Come to my house, after your dinner tomorrow” Lynn prompted

“Why?” you asked

“Just for a while, I want to celebrate it with you” 

Considering that it is your first birthday as a couple, you agreed “Okay, sure”  

Lynn clicked her mouth in victory and it soon turned into a smile.

You finished clearing up the last item on the table before you noticed Lynn who has been smiling at you for a while now

Curious of what she was thinking, “What?” you asked

“I have something to tell you” she stated, nervously pinching her fingers

“I told my parents, about us” she let out

You started to feel an uneasy churn in the pit of your stomach.

With the amount of times you have been at her house, Mr. and Mrs. Loud have already treated you like their child, at this point, you also consider them as parents.

However, you don't really know how they would feel if they knew you were having a relationship with their daughter

“And…?” you anxiously asked

Lynn smiled at your nervousness “They were okay with it” she assured you

The churn in your stomach has now come to a stop

“That’s… That’s really cool” you exhaled in relief

You would be lying if you said that you’re not scared of taking that step with Lynn. Telling parents is a major milestone, the fact that Lynn already told hers made you feel a slight pressure. Fear and hope has now settled inside of you

“Woah!” Lynn suddenly exclaimed as she turned her eyes towards the windows behind you

“It’s snowing!” she exclaimed 

You turned around and saw white flakes falling from the sky outside, starting to stick to the glass windows. 

Mrs. Whitaker, however, was not amused by this, “Shh” she murmured. Even dropping her book to look at both you and Lynn

“Let's get out of here, before she kicks us out”

-

The loud banging of Lori’s white heel silenced the entire room. A sibling meeting is now in order

10 Loud siblings are all currently inside Leni’s room, with Lori joining in through video call.

“Tell me why I even have to be here, I’m in the middle of finals” Lori annoyingly said through the screen

Lynn didn’t argue with her “We actually won’t be needing your help since you’re wont be here tomorrow–”

“No! it’s fine, I wanna be included” Lori cut her off, afraid of missing out

“This better be good Lynn, my beauty sleep is being sacrificed here” Lola threatened her 

“Before I start I’m sure all of you noticed that I recently made a special friend” Lynn started. She never really addressed both of your situation with them, except for Luna and Lucy.

“We know” they all said in unison. 

Lynn had a stunned look because of that

“You guys aren’t really hiding anything, we all know you guys are together” Luan replied

“I made that conclusion at your previous baseball game” Lisa added

“You sometimes forget that I hang out in the attic alot” Lucy’s remark concerned Lynn.

Starting to think about how many times the two of you went in to that attic, and how much she has seen

That left her dumbfounded for a few seconds.

“O… kay. That… just made things more easier” Lynn concurred, trying to move on with the conversation 

“The thing is, it’s her birthday tomorrow and I want to surprise her with a small party”

“How come you’re just telling us about this now?” Lincoln asked

Lynn rubbed the back of her head “I kinda, didn’t know her birthday”

A series of disappointed oohs were thrown at her

Lori scoffed in disbelief “How can you not know? I literally have Bobby’s birthday on every single one of my calendars, just so I don’t forget” Lori proudly said

“We know” they, once again, all said in unison. 

“You even put in on our family calendar, right next to Uncle Gary’s death anniversary” Lana added

Lynn shook her head “Not the point guys. I need your help, she’ll be here tomorrow at 6pm right after her dinner with her parents”

“How about we invite the entire school!” Lincoln enthusiastically suggested

“I could hook you up with a DJ” Luna offered 

“Oh! We could make a huge sign in front of our house, wishing her a happy birthday” Leni recommended 

“Leni, it’s a surprise party, emphasis on the surprise” Lisa argued 

“GUYS” Lynn cut all of them off

“No extravagant parties, she wants things simple and meaningful. Were just going to surprise her and give her a few gifts. Just all 11 of us and no one else”

All 10 siblings held a questioning look.

Lynn knew it might be hard getting everyone aboard, they all like things over-the-top and loud. But this was a small thing compared to everything you gave all of them

“Trust me guys. She’ll appreciate it a lot if we keep things mellow. Plus, it will be a nice thing to give back to her” Lynn reminded them

“It has been nice to have her around , she helped me with my spanish homework” Lucy commented

“She does play with us a lot” the twins recalled

“She once help fix my coin collection when I lost all of it, took us an entire day” Lincoln continued 

They all started to feel a wave of appreciation wash over them. You treated them like your own family and never asked for anything in return

“Lynn’s right. We should throw a party that she would want, not what we think she’d want” Luna concluded.

-

Ever since you sat here, with your parents, on a reserved table, in a private restaurant, you have been feeling really sullen. The soft hum of laughter between you mom and dad became more muffled as your thoughts begin to pile up.

It didn’t take a mind reader to see how much you don’t want to be here.

You and your parents always had this distance between you, and you all pretend that it isn’t there, in hopes that it would lessen it.

With your head held low, your eyes stayed focus on the small steak slices on your plate, boredly moving them back and fort with your fork.

You hated steak. You once told your parents you liked them, but that was back when you were 10 years old. It didn’t matter if you told them you never liked steak for 7 years now, you didn’t want to make things more awkward.

“Sweetie do you remember Uncle Carl?” your mom suddenly asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts

You looked at her attentively “Oh, yeah” You nodded “Is he, the one who kep trying to do magic tricks to impress me?”

“Yes, unsuccessfully, might I add” your dad chuckled

“He actually visited us at the office yesterday”

“Cool” you replied, trying to sound interested.

Noticing the sudden uncomfortable silence, your mom tried to signal something to your dad. Staring at him and apprehensively pointing her head towards you

Noticing her call “Yeah, well, do you remember his son Jamie?” your dad asked, trying to salvage the conversation “Both of you were quite friends when you were little”

You remember Jamie so well. He was one of your best friends when both of you were little

You nodded “Yeah I remember Jamie, isn’t he still in Boston?”

“Yes. He’s a smart fella, that kid. I heard he’s also in line for valedictorian just like you”

“Good for him” you replied, seeing no depth to the conversation

“Well, your mom and I have been discussing your future lately.” 

“And for a while now, we have been considering Boston” he included

“There are a lot of amazing schools there” your mom chimed in “It’s close to Harvard, and Yale” 

Your dad turned to you “And also considering Uncle Carl and Jamie will also be there to help you with anything” 

“Yale Law School? Harvard Medical? Business? Everything is practically there” your dad added

Your mom interjected “But of course this is just something that me and your dad have been thinking about. You still have the final say on this manner. We just think Boston will be an amazing opportunity for you” she smiled, brushing a piece of your hair affectionately which didn’t bring you that much comfort.

You don’t know why your parents had to spring this on you now. You don’t want things to move faster than you were ready for.

Your breathing felt short and your palms were already sweating.

This was so overwhelming. Of course you had thought about college, but never in prestigious universities like Harvard and Yale. You keep wondering if you can even qualify to go to those schools.

Your mouth felt dry as you tried to say something, but no words came out. 

Both your mom and dad and still had these happy expressions on their faces while the weight of expectations hung heavily in the air.

You settled and forced a smile on your face, yet you honestly felt sick to your stomach.

Thinking it couldn’t get uncomfortable enough, a waiter quietly came to your table an placed a plate of desert in front of you with the words ’Happy 16th Birthday’ written in chocolate

This was the last thing you could take. Holding yourself together the entire day was hard enough, you didn’t need this.

You kept staring the the number 16 on the plate, while your parents wished you a happy birthday

“Now you could finally get your drivers licence” they happily mentioned

You turned to them with a disappointed look and a smile on your face. Blankly staring at the lit candle on the plate, thinking about how you were getting more and more closer to the age you never thought about

This gave you a moment to internally accept that your parents will never truly know who you are.

That relvelation put tears on your eyes, which your mom and dad interpreted as tears of joy

“Thank you, mom. Thanks dad” you acknowledge them after blowing on the candle

-

With a heavy heart you walked towards the front porch of Lynn’s house. 

Today was not the best. With your parents immediately taking off after the dinner and that talk about your future, you can’t help but feel left out and overwhelmed.

Your hands felt numb with the cold, but it didn’t matter to you.

Wishing this day would end faster, you forgot to even knock on their door. 

As you turned the knob and pushed open the door, a loud pop sound startled you and confetti was in the air.

“SURPRISE!” everyone in the Loud family exclaimed

Your jaw dropped in shock. All 10 loud siblings were present and celebrating. 

Lynn was right beside the door and she didn’t waste a moment to give you a hug.

“Oh my god!” you said to her in surprise

A banner was even displayed, written in various colors of paint.

Guessing Lily assisted in making it, seeing tiny hands printed around the letters, saying ’HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY’

As simple as it was, it almost made you tear up

Everyone started to huddle around you, wishing you a happy birthday. Leni placed a plastic crown on your head and Luna put a birthday sash over your shoulders. 

The entire night was spent with everyone celebrating.

Luan and Lucy put on a tap dancing battle, Luna did a guitar solo of one of your favorite songs, and you and Lisa even did chemistry charades.

You were surprised that they even had the time to put together a few presents for you. As small as they were, it meant everything for you. There was something comforting in the simplicity of it all.

A warm energy settled in your heart the whole evening.

Lynn, on the other hand, kept fighting herself back, trying not to pull you away from all the attention and have a few moments of privacy with you. Everytime she takes a quick glance to check on you from across the room, you were either smiling or laughing at her siblings. 

And it would just make Lynn smile to herself. She finally gave you an unforgettable birthday.

By 9pm, the after-party cleaning had started. Once Lynn noticed that you were not occupied with any of her siblings she immediately grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the stairs.

Everyone was downstairs cleaning so the upstairs hallway was practically empty.

Lynn was not giving Lucy the chance to eavesdrop on them again. She kept scanning the surroundings and even too a quick look on the air vents close to you

You just gave her a confusing look while you waited for her to finish whatever she was doing

When Lynn was certain that both of you were alone, she positioned you infront of her and pulled on your finger to open your palm, spreading her fingers in between yours

“Hi,” Lynn shyly greeted you with gleaming eyes

“Lynn, this was amazing! I can’t believe you pulled this off in less than a day” 

Lynn brushed it off “I had a lot of help”

“Thank your siblings again for me, and for all the presents” 

Lynn tries to dismiss them “It’s not over-the-top gifts and most of them are handmade-” 

“I still love them, and I will keep them forever” you cut her off

Lynn sighed determinedly “Well, I will admit that my gift was not a recent purchase”

She pulled out a small gift bag from her other hand and gave it to you

You looked at her playfully “You’re saying that whole surprise party you did was not already your gift?”

“You can open this one to see which one you liked better” Lynn compelled 

You gave her a shy grin before opening the bag

“Your lucky jersey?” you immediately stared at her in surprise.

You looked down on the number 17 stitched in the chest area, memories of your first kiss in the attic started to become fresh in your mind

“I thought I wouldn’t need it anymore, now that you’re here” 

As if holding hands wasn’t enough to make you a blushing mess, having Lynn say these things made it worse for your knees

“But you love this jersey” 

”I…-” Lynn trailed off but she immediately had to stop herself.

Good thing she caught herself in time, because she was not about to say ‘I love you’ this early in the relationship.

It had to happen somewhere special, with flowers and music. Not in the middle of a hallway while you’re holding a jersey that probably has not been washed yet.

Lynn now has on an uncomfortable look on her face. 

She can feel her breath shorten as seconds pass by, and you looking at her like she just gave you the world was not helping. 

Lynn is now slowly realizing that she was starting to fall in love with you

“... Umm…” 

Before she could even find her words, a loud car horn of Vanzilla interrupted both of you.

Lynn’s dad offered to drive you home even after insisting you could walk. After a few moments of convincing, he deemed it unsafe for you to walk in the snow this late at night.

“I gotta get home” you sadly told her

Lynn hung her head disappointingly “I’ll walk you to the car” she offered, still holding on to your hand and leading you towards the stairs

“Wait,” you stopped her and pulled her back in front of you

“What?” 

You shrugged and cluelessly asked her “No birthday kiss?”

Lynn bashfully rolled her eyes at you before wrapping her hands around your waist and pulling you into a kiss.

Chapter Text

Only two more weeks before Christmas and the school semester was finally finished, you have spent almost every hour of the day at Lynn’s for the past five days. 

The Loud House has never known quite ever since then, even though Lori is in Salt Lake City visiting Bobby for the week, and the twins are on their last days of camp, there is still enough chaos in the Loud family

You and Lisa sometimes do science experiments together, Lucy occasionally asks for your advice on her poetry, Leni even makes you her model when putting together winter outfits for the mannequins at her job at the mall

Your relationship with the Louds has been getting more deeper after your surprise birthday celebration. The small layer of awkwardness has been completely removed ever since they knew about your relationship, it was like you were now officially part of the family

As for Lynn, she has her moments. 

She loves that her siblings are building a stronger connection with you, but it sometimes bugs her that she has to share you with a number of people in the house. And of course, there's the constant presence in every room. It’s not easy to find a bit of privacy in a house with 10 siblings and 2 parents.

Every time Lynn would try to be alone with you, a sibling would either interrupt the peace or a parent would open the door wide open. Lynn sometimes misses when it was just the two of you

Regardless of that, it was the perfect Christmas break. Being able to see Lynn every day out of school brought you closer to her. 

A snowy Friday afternoon in the Loud house is spent with the older siblings out of the house to hang out with some friends, and all the younger ones either had a friend over or doing their own thing.

“This looks like a clean spot” you suggested

You and Lynn are in their backyard, playing in the snow. After she spent the last 20 minutes trying to tackle you to practice for her rugby match, you finally convinced her to make snow angels with you.

You put on the hood of your coat before laying down in the snow and Lynn followed after you.

“Ready?” you asked and started moving your arms and legs.

This led to both of you in a giggling mess for a solid five seconds, snow falling on your smiling faces

“Are you getting cold?” Lynn asked

“Yeah, I am” you chuckled

Lynn stood up first before grabbing your outstretched arm and helping you up

Lynn proudly pointed at her work “I win, mine’s bigger than yours”

“That’s because you’re taller” you argued “And it's not even a competition”

She snickered “Yeah, it wasn’t even close”

You jokingly gasped at her statement and playfully hit her arm. Lynn immediately tickled your stomach in return

These were the kind of moments you love about being with Lynn, you sometimes play fight with each other, and most of the time, you are the one initiating it. You have this childish mischief that was only for her.

Lynn is 3 times more stronger than you are, you know she can easily defeat you at any given moment. It makes her happy to see you so carefree and comfortable around her.

You were in a giggling mess when Lynn suddenly picked you up by your knees and carried you over her shoulder. You let out a yelp the second you feet was up in the air

“Lynn I’m older than you!” you tried to remind her in between giggles

“Only by 5 months” she argued while she walked around the backyard

“That still means something” you defended “Now please put me down, I’m getting dizzy”

Lynn stopped her steps and gently placed your feet back in the snow. Her hands are on your legs and back, making sure you didn’t fall.

Lynn’s hand settled on your waist while yours were on her shoulders.

The top part of Lynn’s coat wasn’t buttoned up so you caught a glimpse of a familiar silver chain over the turtle neck she was wearing.

“You’re still wearing the necklace” you acknowledged, grabbing the anchor pendant with your fingers 

“You gave it” she replied

Because of the condensation, smoke was brushing past your faces every time both of you exhaled

It’s nice to be close together, you thought. Feeling each other’s warmth in this type of weather made things a little bit more romantic 

You looked up and Lynn’s green eyes were already focused on you. It took a while for you to realize that the last time you guys kissed was at your birthday party.

You looked down at her lips that were turning red because of the cold, and grabbed a part of her coat. Lifting your heels to reach her face, you connected your lips with hers in a slow pace. Feeling the warmth spread to your entire body just from just her lips.

Every time you kiss her, Lynn always feels like it's the very first time. Her heart feels like it’s about to jump out of her body, her hands get clammy and her mouth feels dry.

Lynn placed her arm around you to pull you closer as she kissed you deeper. Letting this moment pass seems wrong when it’s all she’s wanted the whole week.

Your grip on her coat became tighter as her head kept moving forward.

“Excited?” you asked when she pulled away for a second

“Impatient… and cold” she responded before kissing you again

It was like she wasn’t planning on letting you go anytime sooner, her arm stayed firm behind you and she held your hand with the other.

The warmth between your faces felt so safe and comforting that you almost didn’t want to let go.

When Lynn finally pulled away, you were determined to get back at her. You gave her a sly smile before crouching down the ground and piled up snow in your hands to make a ball.

Lynn immediately sensed what you were planning to do. “Hey, don’t try to start something you can’t finish” she warned you while slowly stepping back 

You had the biggest grin on your face, and Lynn was loving every second of it.

You threw the snowball towards her, trying to aim at least on her arm, but failed when Lynn tried to dodge it but it actually hit her in the back.

Lynn’s jaw dropped as she didn’t think she would actually hit her “Okay, this is war!” she declared 

You grabbed a handful of snow before quickly running away from her. Lynn was swift with her feet, her first throw hit you right on your shoulder.

Your squeals and giggles of excitement were music to her ears. 

Lynn would never hear the end of it if everyone knew how much she liked hearing your voice. It’s ridiculous how a simple word or laugh coming out of your mouth brings her an unexplainable amount of joy; but it’s a different conversation when it’s her name you were calling out.

Symphonies would go off inside her head every time her name would casually slip off your lips. It felt like a pet name itself. 

The past few days were heaven for Lynn. Being able to hang out with you for an entire day, seeing you in the house after her daily training, is a reward that she will never get tired of.

By this time, both your coats were covered in snow and blood was rushing to your ginning faces. Your heart was beating at a rapid pace with all the running you were doing, still, you couldn’t escape her swift moves

Lynn remained steadfast and avoided most of your hits. Laughing at how determined you were to run away from her but kept getting hit for most parts

As Lynn kept her eyes on you, she didn’t realize the snow she was compressing had a small rock inside it. Too distracted to notice

Without knowing, Lynn threw the ball in your direction.

You were preoccupied at the moment, making another snowball to throw at her, and exactly as you turned your head towards Lynn, the snowball hit you right in the forehead.

Because of the weight of the rock inside it, its force was heavier. But he rock’s coarseness was what really hurt you, leading to a small abrasion on the left side of your hairline.

“Ow” you startled in pain, holding the affected area with your hand

Lynn stopped her movements “Are you okay?” she asks

“It’s fine, I think the snowball scraped my head a little” you kept your hand compressed on your head to decrease the pain

Lynn dropped her snowball and walked towards you, removing her gloves in order to look at your head

“Can I take a look?” she asked, letting her remove your hands from your head

“Is it swelling?”

“It’s bleeding” she replied anxiously

-

There was a quiet and tense air in the kitchen. Ever since you and Lynn got inside the house, she had this serious look on her face. Her actions were calm and collected—she sat you down on a stool and grabbed their first aid kit—but her face looked panicked.

Yes, you were bleeding, but it was just a small scratch. You didn’t think it would be something that she would freak out about. 

Lynn is never scared of getting hurt. Her last hockey tournament ended with a bruised lip and bleeding nose, and still, she went out to shake their opponent's hand. Lynn was never disturbed by any minor injuries, so why was this an exception?

“You’re being awfully quite” you broke the silence

The second that both of you were inside the house, Lynn made it her mission to aid you, she didn’t even let you stand up or help with anything. Her body was on autopilot to the point that she couldn’t even look you in the eye.

To stop the bleeding Lynn held tissues over your wound

When Lynn didn’t react to your statement, you tried to assist her “I can hold it if you want” feeling fully capable of doing it yourself 

“No” she sternly replied, eyes focused on your wound.

Lynn felt like punishing herself for what she did to you, if keeping her arm in the same position for hours until it became numb, would equal the pain you felt, she would do it voluntarily.

“Are you mad at me?” you asked looking up at her to see any reaction

When Lynn didn't bat an eye at your question, you grew concerned “Did I do something wrong?” you asked in a serious tone. Thinking maybe you did do something and failed to see it

Lynn shook her head “No,” she softly answered

When Lynn finally had the courage and looked down at your worried face, her guilt grew by the second “It’s just… you’re hurt and it's because of me” 

“Lynn it was an accident” you reasoned out

“Yeah, an accident I caused”

“You didn’t mean it”

“It still happened” Lynn held her guard, not willing to forgive herself yet

“It wasn’t your fault” you reminded her.

Her arm was in the way of the conversation “You can stop now, I think its not bleeding anymore” You grabbed her arm and held it down as Lynn let go of the wound.

You settled her hand on your thigh and softly rubbed her arm to ease the tension. 

It’s hard to put into words how your gentle touches have a calming effect on Lynn, giving clarity and peace to her mind and body. She rubbed her eyebrow in frustration. Why are you like this Lynn? she asked herself

“I’m sorry” Lynn apologized, eyes filled with regret.

You shook your head “It’s okay, it happens–”

“No, I’m sorry because you’re the one that got hurt but I’m the person you are comforting”

Ever since your birthday party, Lynn keeps thinking about how her feelings for you had gone beyond what she anticipated. It wasn’t like her to become soft and emotional, to feel excited with just the mere thought of someone, or to drop everything because someone was hurt. But it was you who brought out that version of her—an unfamiliar yet amazing part of her.

“I know I can be intense, and my emotions get the best of me. Believe me, I never want it to affect you. I am trying to be better at controlling it, I just… need a little time” Lynn explained

It keeps her up at night thinking of the many ways she could ruin what she has with you.

You do admit that Lynn can be extreme at times, but it is also one of the things you love most about her. Lynn is passionate and so full of life, she knows what she wants and goes for it. She’s fearless.

You needed that in your life, someone that reminds you to be confident. 

“Because I…” Lynn trailed off mindlessly. She was doing it again— not thinking about what she was saying before the words left her mouth.

Everything felt so natural with you, the way you blended so perfectly in her life, it was like you were meant to be there. All she knows now is that she wouldn’t change any part of her life if it meant that you wouldn't be a part of it. Lynn is exactly where she wants to be

When Lynn had finally gathered her thoughts, she gave you this look of bravery and enthusiasm

There’s no turning back, Lynn reminded herself

Lynn swallowed the nervous lump forming in her throat “I guess… What I’m trying to say–”

In true Loud fashion, her sentence was cut off by her dad barging in the kitchen

“LJ! Great, I need your help. I need a hair dryer and some extension cords.” He stated eagerly. Still in his winter coat and is visibly out of breath

“One of your siblings may or may not have their tongue stuck on a light pole outside” He rummaged through the kitchen cabinets, finding the hair dryer. “And I may or may not have been the cause of it” he continued 

While Lynn was helping him find an extension cord, he finally laid eyes on you. “Oh no! What happened to your head?” he approached you

“Snowball fight” you answered “It’s just a small scratch, I’m okay” you reassured him

“I have to make a call to your parents and tell them about this" He insisted, still worried about your condition

“No,” you replied immediately “No, It’s okay, Mr. Loud, l’ll let them know myself. I’m about to leave soon anyway”

Even if he did make the call, you doubt that your parents would be the ones to pick up

Feeling stifled by the situation, then remembered he has a kid stuck in a light pole outside with a freezing tongue “Okay then, Let me know if you need a ride home” he offered

You nodded “I will”

Lynn handed him the extension cord she found “Thank you, and please don’t tell your mother” he pleaded

“And don’t tell her that happen under my supervision” he continued, referring to your injury “I was never here” he tiredly said as he exited

Chapter Text

They say that getting drunk can help you escape your current problems. As a teenager who has never tried alcohol before, here you were—pouring your fifth drink of the night—testing that theory for yourself.

Angela, the president of the drama club, invited the entire grade to her house on New Years eve. You were surprised to see how big her house is, big enough to accommodate the entire student body

With what you’re currently dealing with, it felt impossible to pass up the chance to have some fun

Last week, exactly on Christmas morning, you received a letter from Jamie. He basically mentioned how his dad told him about you considering Boston and how he hopes to see you there soon

As wholesome as his letter was, the days that followed were hell for you. The load of expectations has increased and you were constantly worried if this is even something that you can handle

Your parents were certainly no help, they continue to mention how great Boston is and how they’ve already told some of your relatives about it. 

The need to make a decision became more overwhelming with each day that passed since Jamie’s letter.

It felt like you were being kept in the dark of your own life. Everything was moving so fast that you felt like you couldn't keep your feet on the ground.

You look down on your watch, it is now 11: 37pm, almost 20 minutes left before the countdown.

“Hey” a familiar voice interrupted you.

You turned around and there was Henry, wearing a dark sweater, with the 2025 glasses on his head

“Hey, you!” you exclaimed “I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” 

Henry crossed his arms nervously with a smile on his face “I’m great, I recently joined the drama club” he said proudly

“That’s wonderful!” you exclaimed “So you know Angela? Everytime I walk into a different room of this place I feel like I’m gonna get lost because of how big it is. A while ago, I was asking where the bathroom was and I just found out they have EIGHT bathrooms here, EIGHT. I even circled the entire place just to check. Like, seriously, are her parents multi billionaires or something? On a good note though, I have found my favorite bathroom—it’s the one close to the dining room” you rambled out without pausing. 

This was one of the signs that you were starting to get drunk: you become more enthusiastic than usual while you babble about anything uninteresting—like restrooms.

Henry grinned at your enthusiasm “Yeah, I know Angela, Her parents actually own quite a lot of business around the city, kind of like your parents too actually” he explained

My parents… you don't even want to think about your parents at the moment.

“So how's the drama club treating you?” you changed the subject 

“Interesting” he replied with suspense

You furrowed your eyebrows “How so?”

“I actually met someone, and I guess… we’re sort of talking” he confessed

Because of the intoxication, your joy has turned into exhilaration that you ended up hugging Henry

“Oh my God! That is amazing, I’m so happy for you!” you wrapped your arms around him, almost spilling his drink.

“We’re not dating yet” Henry giggled at your excitement as he clarified “I guess it’s safe to say that you’re starting to get drunk?”

“Yeah, I guess I am” you admitted, getting off of him

“How are you and Lynn, by the way?” he turned the subject to you, with a giddy face

“How did you…?” you trailed off

You have never really confirmed to anyone that you and Lynn were dating. But, on the other hand, your relationship wasn’t particularly a secret—you always waited for each other after school, and walking in and out of classes together, holding hands in the hallways, sharing each others lunch. At this point, why am I even surprised?

“Can’t possibly keep that a secret” he replied

It’s impossible for Lynn to not have eyes around her. After all, she’s the star player at the school, it’s hard not to notice her.

“Yeah… She’s my girlfriend, we’ve been dating for a while now” you shyly said 

It might’ve been the first time you addressed Lynn as your girlfriend to someone 

Apart from not having close friends that much, your parents are not the best people when it comes to topics like this. They have traditional beliefs. They’re the kind of people who think that listening to heavy music will summon your soul to another dimension.

It’s safe to assume that they will lose their minds if they knew about you and Lynn.

Henry held an affectionate look on his face “Well, I’m happy for you guys… and, I’m happy that were friends”

You gave him a smile “Yeah, me too”

He held his beer towards you and you clicked your drinks together, as a sign of camaraderie.

You’re thankful for Henry. He’s the kind of person you would face all of your embarrassing moments with, and he’ll never make you feel less understood.

Your friendship might have been something he wasn’t expecting, but you’re grateful that it happened

Music started to gradually fill your ears as both of you walked out of the kitchen, “So are you going to tell me who you’re talking to?” you asked

“Umm..” Henry held a reluctant look “Not sure about that, you might scare him away in your current state” he unconsciously said. Which earned a surprised but funny laugh from you

“Well, it’s great to know that he’s a he” 

Henry immediately turned to you, surprised at what he even said

His ears were turning pink “Well–... umm…it’s–”

“My lips are sealed for as long as you need, Henry” you zipped you mouth as a gesture to reassure him 

He let out a chuckle of relief, but still embarrassed of the situation

“Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m gonna go find Lynn” you waved him goodbye before heading to the living room of the house, where most of the people had gathered.

Henry gave you one last smile before also taking off

Squeezing past many people in the hallway, and primarily trying to protect your drink in the process.  Your eyes scanned the place for any signs of Lynn, you saw some familiar faces from your class, members from your student council, and some seniors who were crashing the party. 

It took you a while to find her, the only thing you remember she was wearing is a red zip-up hoodie.

“What’s up Loud?” you heard someone say from a far distance

You looked around to see where it was coming from, and you finally found her. 

All the student athletes were surrounding the couch area of the living room, with Lynn talking to, from what you can remember, one of the school’s hockey players, Ethan Hale

“Thrilled to see you here” Ethan joyfully greeted Lynn, clearly drunk

Face red and with a beer on hand “I heard a little thing about you today,” he said in a playful manner

Lynn held a strong but uncomfortable demeanor. Why is he talking to me? she thought

Keeping a fair distance with him, seeing that he is completely hammered and unable to even stand without swaying to a different direction. 

Ethan held on to the wall beside him for support “I just wanted to say, the whole ‘being with a woman’ thing? Very exciting” he gave a sinister laugh

In her entire life, Lynn has always been unapologetically herself, but there were things that sometimes worried her, like sick men trying to gnaw their way in her business. However, she would have to take them down first  before letting that happen, she is not afraid of  putting someone back in their place.

“You know, girls just get each other the way guys can’t. I can’t confirm that it’s the same with guys though” Ethan continued, even casually taking a sip of his drink “Cuz, that would be disgusting” he chuckled

Lynn bit the inside of her cheek “Do we have a problem, Ethan?” she tauntingly asked

He shook his head in disagreement “No, no, no, no. I’m just curious, Loud. Chill out” 

Ethan just giggled at her seriousness, which only fueled Lynn.

“You know, the whole ‘first time with a woman’ thing, how’s that going?”

Lynn could feel her body heat up. Her jaw was tightening and her hand was forming into a fist. Lynn was sure to herself that if Ethan does not move for the next second, her fist will soon end up on his face

Lynn admits that she can act impulsive in situations, but in this one, she knows she wouldn’t feel sorry, not one bit.

Lynn gave him one last dirty look before opening her mouth to say something to him. But to her surprise, she was cut off in the most pleasant manner

”Excuse me,” You interrupted them

As you stood next to Lynn, Ethan’s mocking expression is now slowly disappearing

“Hi,” you gave him a threatening smile “Ethan? Was it?” you asked, rhetorically.

“Just so you know, you’re making my girlfriend uncomfortable, and I think she’s had enough of you” 

Ethan understood your sarcasm and tried to explain himself “I was just–”

“If you could please do us a really big favor and shut your mouth” you dropped your smile in the process

Lynn was already trying to not laugh at Ethan’s dumbfounded face. She knows you despise being angry at people, believing that fighting and screaming in someone’s face is unnecessary when talking could easily resolve things.

But with the alcohol in your system, your character seems to shift, 

You innocently took a step closer to him, just so he could hear what you were saying over the music in the living room.

But as a reflex, Ethan took a step back, expecting an act of aggression from you, but got nothing

Lynn also thought of this and was startled, instantly putting her hand on your waist to stop you from getting closer to him

“We don't need your disgusting comments to know that you can’t get girls on your own. So, could you kindly mind your own business for those who can?” Your eyes never left Ethan’s face for even a second. Even in his tall height, he looked uncomfortable in your gaze

You reached for Lynn’s hand and she instinctively held yours.

“Save that arrogance on the ice, Hale” you threatened him before turning around and pulling Lynn away.

Ethan was left baffled and extremely embarrassed. He’s the type of kid who expects everything he wants to fall at his feet, anyone who disagrees with him is criticized in his eyes. You figured it’s time return the favor

You squeezed past numerous people, holding Lynn’s hand tighter to not lose her, until you finally found a door leading outside.

When you thought this house couldn’t get any bigger, it proves you wrong. To match an extravagant house, they apparently have a 20 feet lap pool to match with it. 

The air was cold, but still a few people were sitting by the pool and hanging out on the grass lawn.

“What an asshole” you grumbled

“I thought you were gonna hit him”

“Thank God, I didn’t” you replied, holding her hand more tighter

Lynn tries to hide her smile, but it seems impossible at the moment. 

Lynn can wrestle, she competes with her siblings in almost everything, she once threw herself through a glass window in her house, and she has done almost every sport known to man. A few disrespectful comments from someone who doesn’t matter is not going to hurt her, but seeing you blatantly defend her like that, did something to her.

It never occurred to Lynn that she likes being protected. She was always the strong one, and usually the one starting the fights.

Lynn smiled to herself while a small part inside of her is now beginning to soften, coming from the knowledge that someone is completely and openly willing to defend her honor.

You were dragging your feet on the floor like a kid and shivering, Lynn grabbed the drink in your hand and pulled you to a pool chair to sit you down.

She squatted down in front of you, while holding your legs to keep you warm. “Are you drunk?” she asked 

“No… I don’t think so” you replied, but your dizziness said otherwise

Lynn chuckled. Your face was a shade of red and you sometimes stumbled when you were walking a while ago.

“Just tipsy then?” she asked, although knowing differently

“I guess” you shrugged

Your eyes were going in and out of focus when you looked at her. Lynn’s dimples was prominent because of the smile on her face, her nose was turning a bit red from the cold, and the light from the pool made her eyes glisten.

You will never want to leave this, you never want to leave her.

The thought alone of you not seeing Lynn felt impossible, it would break your heart ten times more if it did happen.

Her hands were so warm on your knees. Boston is going to be so cold

“15 minutes until midnight!” someone screamed in the distance and was quickly followed by cheers

Figured you weren’t going to enjoy the celebration that much in your current state “Do you want me to take you home?” Lynn asked

You thought for a while before giving her a nod “Sure” 

-

You dragged your shoes on the wet sidewalk while Lynn made sure you weren’t wobbling as you walked

“How’s your head” Lynn asked

“Dizzy”

Lynn chuckled “I meant your injury”

“Oh, it’s fine” you touched the small scab in your head from the snowball fiasco a few weeks ago, forgetting it was there for a while

Your house was only a few blocks from the party, you insisted you could walk, while Lynn gave up after spending the first few minutes trying to convince you that she can carry you the whole way.

“Have you ever thought about any new year's resolutions?” you asked

“Getting my driver’s license is definitely first on the list” she said “Luan already got hers, a few months ago, I could  give it a try” she turned her head in curiosity 

“Bet your dad won’t be thrilled that he has to share vanzilla with another daughter”

Lynn let out a ‘tsk’ from her lips “A consequence for having 11 kids” she laughed

“I think I know what my resolution will be this year” you let out

“What?”

“No more drinking” 

Lynn agrees “I second that, you can get confrontational when you’re drunk”

“Not drunk, just tipsy” you clarified, but after that sentence, you ironically tripped on your feet, Lynn had to grab you by your arm so you didn’t push yourself into a bush

“Okay, tipsy, come here” she laughed at your clumsiness, and stopped her steps to pull you closer. 

Lynn wrapped her arms around you and settled her head on your shoulders, trying to collect some warmth for both of you as much as possible, while you snaked your hands inside of her coat and placed them on her waist.

You could feel her slow breath on your collarbones, and the steady beat of her heart on your chest.

To not have Lynn be there when you need her, because she will be seven hundred and ninety-one miles away from you.

You closed your eyes and hugged her tighter.

“It’s going to be so cold there without you…” you whispered, but your voice was muffled enough to not reach her ears

Your eyes were starting to tear up and a lump was forming in your throat

“What?” Lynn asked, still not letting go of the hug

You took a deep breath, trying to stabilize your voice. 

“It’s getting colder, we should get going” you let go of her “Let’s take a right, and we should be there” 

-

Lynn’s mind was blown at the sight of your house. 

Amazed that it has over 3 floors and a big front yard. Entering it looked she is inside an architectural digest magazine

Now it seemed ridiculous how you always insist on hanging out on her house

The design was so modern, big windows, tiled floors, and a doorbell that has a camera on it

“Wow, Didn’t know you guys were rich” Lynn mentioned, after both of you entered the front door and is now taking off your coats

You gave a reluctant look, about to disagree with her.

“Come on, you guys have paintings on your walls and tiny sculptures everywhere” she argued, still staring at the artworks by the living room

Your mom loves to buy art pieces every chance she gets, all of the sculptures were either made of metal or glass. She insists that it will be of great value in the future

“On our house, all we have are Lily’s crayon drawings on the walls” Lynn shared

The amount of times Lynn talks about her family makes you love them evenmore. Because for you, nothing is more priceless than a messy house.

Lynn turned her head and examined the clean and quite house “Your parents?” She asked

“They’re spending new year’s with their new company team in Wisconsin” you hastily took off your shoes, still feeling a bit dizzy, before putting on your indoor slippers 

“They aren’t home that much so sometimes it’s just me and a few angels” you shrugged your shoulders 

“Angels?” Lynn asked confusedly

You chuckled “Our housemaids, I call them angels” you clarified “But they’re not here right now, it’s just us”

The amount of times your parents have left you alone has been so normal, to the point that even on holidays and occasions like this are not an exception to them

“We should hang out here more” Lynn turned to you, a smirk slowly forming in her face

“Don't start just because I’ve had a few drinks in me” you walked pass her, and her sly intentions

“When you’re with me, you won’t need any drinks. Trust me” Lynn followed behind you. Her voice gentle and raspy

“Anyways,” you changed the subject, trying to mask her obvious effect on you

Walking pass the living room and into the kitchen island where you opened your refrigerator “I was thinking we should get a few drinks, non-alcoholic of course, while we watch ome fireworks outside by the terrace” you suggested

“You guys have a terrace?” Lynn asked in disbelief 

You just took her question as a yes “I’ll get the drinks” you insisted 

“By the way, my room is just upstairs, it’s the last door on the right, feel free to use my bathroom” You informed her after sticking your head on the refrigerator to look for anything you guys can drink

“You have your own bathroom?!” Lynn’s voice escalated

Others might find it ridiculous that she is getting excited over a bathroom. But what that meant for Lynn is that she doesn’t have to wait it line because a sibling is doing a 10-step skin care routine, or is collecting poop for a fecal research.

Lynn made a beeline to the stairs.

Her steps slowed down at the sight of family pictures on the walls.

Most of them were you as a kid, and almost all of them were taken professionally in a studio.

There’s one with you as a toddler, and one where you were in a cap and gown, where she suspects was your kindergarten graduation.

With every step that Lynn took on the stairs, the pictures of you were progressively getting older. 

You looked more serious, your smile was slowly fading away

Until she reached the top of the stairs, where she reached your most recent picture—It is a family photo with you in the middle and your mom and dad beside you. 

All three of you looked so lavish and expensive 

In the picture, you have this blank expression on your face that Lynn does not recognize.

Your lips were in a straight line and your eyes pierced through her soul.

Lynn spent a few seconds just staring at the picture, trying to decipher how it looked nothing like you were in person—lively and hopeful. In this, you looked sad and lifeless.

Lynn continued her steps and walked the second-floor hallway. A few framed photos still hung on the walls.

Some with grandparents and some with what she can only assume are your little cousins, aunties and uncles. 

When she reached the end of the hallway and was in front of your room. One question rang in her mind: Where were your siblings in all of this?

There wasn’t a single family picture with  any of your older siblings, there was only you with both of your parents.

Lynn just turned around to enter your room and took her nosiness with her, but her curiosity stayed. If there was any issues, it wasn’t any of her business to know.

The inside of your room looked like it wasn’t a part of the house. For Lynn, it’s like she entered a different world, a world filled with books, academic certificates and small knickknacks that all looked like it was from different parts of the world.

Your bed was in the corner by the window, covered in blue comforters that matched the walls

Your room was three times bigger compared to her room, adding the fact that she has to share with Lucy, it’s heaven to have this much space.

Lynn took small steps, looking around your room and taking in the small details of your ‘world’.

There were various books and magazines that filled your bookshelves and floors, some famous popstars and actors hung on your wall, and your closet was half-open with a few clothes sticking out

Lynn smilled, seeing a glimpse of her lucky jersey neatly hung in your closet. 

Ever since Lynn gave you that jersey, she would sometimes imagine how you would fit in it. How you would try it on every time you missed her.

Since you and Lynn hang out almost everyday at school, she sometimes wonder if there are times when you would miss her anytime you were away from each other

She caressed the tapestry on the wall, beside your bed, admiring its pattern and texture. 

But what really caught her eye was the photo on the wall of your study table.

You have a cork board filled with studying schedules and to-do lists, however below all of it was a single picture.

It was you and two other people, you had a big smile on your face that the other two also seem to share, it looks like it was captured by a digital camera and the background was overlooking a city skyline.

You look a little bit younger compared to some of the recent photos Lynn just saw.

Pieces of your hair was blowing on your face, yet you still held your smile as wide as you can while your eyes sparkled

This was so different compared to all the framed photos in the house. You had normal clothes on, the lighting wasn’t manipulated, and everyone looks like they are having fun.

In an entire house filled with photos of you, there was only a single photo where you looked genuinely happy.

With a few moments of examination, it slowly reached Lynn's mind of your resemblance to the other two people in the photo.

“Is it?…” she whispered, trying to take a closer look

With no one to confirm, Lynn figured it is a big possibility that they both might be the two older siblings you were talking about

Why are they not in the family pictures? she thought 

Like she hasn’t been nosy enough, her eyes were drawn to an opened letter on your table. It looked like it was handwritten, and the envelope where it came from was beside it, like it was just freshly opened.

“Boston…” Lynn read out the adress from the envelope 

She crouched down to look at the letter and saw an unfamiliar name on it

Who’s Jamie?

Her curiosity got the best of her, as she ended up grabbing the letter from the table, in shock and confusion, as she read the last paragraph 

(Contents of Jamie’s letter)

Hi.

It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, how are you? Still a genius as always? I heard a lot about you from my dad after he visited Michigan, I heard that you’re a running valedictorian at your school, thats AMAZING. I’m guessing a lot has changed in Royal Woods, I guess you have changed a lot too

I also heard from him that you were considering going to school here. I’ve been thinking a lot about Harvard, and I recently visited Yale—it’s been growing on me. From the stories of my dad, it seems like your parents are really looking forward to it, I know my dad is too. And If you’re anything like me, then you’re probably biting your nails in anxiety about the future. I really want everything to work out, I want to make my dad proud

My dad may have also mentioned what happened to your siblings back then. I remembered, that that was also the same time when you didn’t go to schooI for a while when we were kids. I never really knew what happened back then, and you never spoke about it. You were really upset so I thought I should never bring it up—I wish I did. I’m sorry about what happened to your siblings, do you still talk to them? (I’m sorry, I know it’s none of my business, so feel free to not answer that)

Anyways, It is FREEZING here is Boston, my teeth are chattering as I’m writing this, Is it the same there?. I still remember when we would race each other in the snow to go sledding every december, I miss those. You would always beat me in running up the hill and you would laugh at my face when I cried to my dad. But after, you always let me go first, just to make up to me. I had hoped you knew how much you meant to me since then, and I hope you still do

By the time you’ll receive this it will probably be Christmas already. I wish you a very merry Christmas.

I hope I get to see you soon :)

“I was looking for coca-cola, turns out we don’t have that, but we do have orange juice, we could just put them in these champagne glasses” your voice gradually echoed in your room when you were coming up the hallway

Balancing a jug of orange juice and two champagne glasses with both your hands

Lynn maintained her focus on the letter before turning around and facing you once you stepped inside the room

By the time you entered, Lynn had this neutral look on her face, your gaze traveled down to what she was holding. Your smile immediately dropped once you saw Jamie’s letter on her hands

You swiftly dropped the jug of orange juice and glasses to your bed and snatched the piece of paper from Lynn’s hand, like you were a criminal who was just found guilty 

Lynn wasn’t at all thrilled about this, apart from seeing that letter, she didn’t expect you to act like how you are acting right now

“Where–“ you fumbled your words while you held the letter in your hands “W-Where did you get this?”

You glanced at Lynn with a distorted face and she looked down at your desk, you followed her vision and saw the ripped envelope

You left the letter out in the open on your desk.

“Who’s Jamie?” Lynn finally let out

You sighed out of frustration and guilt “This is private, Lynn. You shouldn’t be messing with my stuff“ you change the subject, trying to express your frustration and divert her attention off the letter but it doesn’t seem to work.

Lynn maintained a stoic look on her face “Who’s Jamie?”

You looked down on the letter that was in your hands then looked back up at her.

Lynn was trying to not jump into conclusions. There were several situations where she let her emotions get the best of her and it significantly affected her relationships. This time, she wasn’t going to let that happen, not with you.

Lynn took a small deep breath “Is… Is he your friend?” She calmly asked

Lynn has been one of the best things that happened to you, her getting sucked up in your own problems is the last thing you want to happen, 

You don’t want her to think that you didn’t love her enough to disagree with your parents 

The atmosphere in your room stayed quiet and heavy as Lynn waited for your response.

Her angelic eyes stayed on yours, patiently waiting and hoping. It was starting to hurt you more, seeing her like this.

“Jamie… is an old friend. I grew up with him. Back then, His father and my dad were business partners, but they moved to Boston 7 years ago, I have not heard from him, until now, until this letter ” you spoke slowly and truthfully 

Lynn slowly nodded her head to you, showing that she understands 

“My dad thinks that they could be a big help for me” you continued

She tilted her head “For what?”

“My parents… want me to go to Boston for college”

Lynn raised her eyebrows. Boston… That’s not so far from Michigan, but it's not so close either

“That’s… That’s great” she exclaim 

She’s right, it is great you thought. Lynn looked happy for you.

But the truth is, Lynn is trying her best not to think of the worst What will happen to us? Lynn asked herself 

“… Yeah” you warily looked down at the, now folded, letter in your hands

“And… you don’t want that?” Lynn  asked, trying to figure out what you feel

“I don’t… I don’t know”

Your sad demeanor bothered her “That’s okay, I mean you just started junior year, you still have a year and a half of high school to figure it out” she tries to comfort you

“Yeah, they prepare early because… their choices for me are Harvard or Yale”

That surprised Lynn as she slowly nodded her head, amazed at your options “Big schools”

“I know, I can barely believe it myself” you commented 

This is crap you thought. It feels like you barely know how to talk to each other now.

Lynn is not sure what to say next. You didn’t look like you were fond of the idea, and Lynn definitely wasn’t either

Lynn didn’t think that you being away from her would ever become an option

“Should I stay?”

Lynn’s eyes immediately shifted towards you “What?”

“I mean, not go to Boston” You nervously rubbed your hands on your pockets “Do you… want me to stay?”

“Do you not want to go to boston?” She asked 

You have spent the past month thinking about how it will be for everyone—your parents, Jamie, Lynn—and how your choice for your future will collectively affect everyone.

On the other hand, if you didn’t pick Boston, where would you even go?

“I mean, it's a great opportunity” Lynn encouraged “You don't have to make a decision now, I’m sure your parents will understand”

You scoffed at that statement “Oh, you do not know my parents” a sarcastic smile was forming in your face

“They’ve already told Jamie, who knows who they’ve told already” you were crashing out

“Their friends, an admissions officer, maybe they’ve already picked out all the classes I’m going to take” you laughed tiredly at the end of your sentence, but Lynn didn’t find it the least bit funny.

Your parents are not the kind of people who would understand the concept of figuring things out

Lynn didn’t respond one bit. “I’m sorry, my parents… they can be a lot”

There were a few moments of silence between you. Lynn was completely out of words to say 

You start to overthink her previous statement “Does that mean you want me to go?” You asked her

“What?”

“When I asked you, does that mean you want me to go to Boston?” 

“I just don't think that’s a question you should be asking me, I mean, you’re the one going to school there” she stated truthfully. 

You scratched your head in wary “I just keep thinking how it’s going to be for us” 

That made Lynn uneasy, that you were evaluating the choices of your future because of her. She doesn’t want that, she doesn’t want to you to limit yourself just because of her

“Then don’t… it's your future” 

Your eyes rapidly moved to her gaze. Why would she say that?

“So…” you wiped your palms that were starting to sweat ”That’ll just be it for us?” You nervously asked 

“What?” She was baffled. You were taking this out of proportion, and Lynn was getting a bit annoyed “Look, if you want to go to Boston, I’m not going to stop you” she said in disbelief 

She was offended that you would think she wants to end it with you

“Right,” you quietly said. Feeling like she was dodging the question

“I’m sure Jamie will be thrilled to see you there” Lynn said in irritation 

You were puzzled, “What? What do you mean?”

“Please, that is practically a love letter.” She pointed at his letter in your hands, in a distasteful look

“No, it's not, and where is this coming from?” You asked

Lynn felt confused, and a little bit angry at the situation 

Lynn has never thought of this, you fit so well in her life and in her family, maybe she doesn't fit in yours.

Just looking at your house and seeing your family in pictures. It’s starting to overwhelm her for a moment 

Everything was going well with the both of you, maybe this was the catch.

“Nothing, forget about it” she brushed it off, not wanting to get angry in front of you

The alcohol in your system was surely not helping “Are you seriously thinking I have a thing with Jamie?” your face turned into a sour expression 

“Is he the reason why you’re drinking?” She spitefully asked back

He might’ve not been the entire reason, but that wasn’t the point. Jamie was a great friend of yours and his letter not only reminded you of how amazing you are, but it made you feel less alone.

“No” you respond hesitantly, not making any eye contact with her

Lynn took no assurance from your late reply. She rolled her eyes. Somehow, Lynn’s intentions became more clouded in her mind, she was so focused on Jamie’s letter that she didn’t think about what she said next.

“If that’s how you feel, maybe you should go to Boston” she blurted out

Chapter Text

Lynn was on the edge of her seat. 

Ever since the argument at your house on new years eve, it seems that both of you have silently agreed to avoid each other.

You went through lengths to avoid running into Lynn; even taking a different route to school every day just so you wouldn’t have to see her house and accidentally bump into her or one of her sibling

While Lynn avoided almost every area in school where she could potentially find you, even double checking the school’s hallways before passing them

But after 2 weeks of hiding, she has grown tired of it. Having to imagine accidentally running into you and finally bringin things back the way they were,

And, of course, she won’t waste a second thinking about it, because she wouldn't know how to turn you down

She misses you, she misses having you at her house everyday after school. Even though her siblings get in between both of you, it was better than this

Lynn could feel her heart beating in her chest. 

One leg bouncing underneath the table while her homework was left blank in front of her

Ever since Lisa told her that she invited you to a sleepover for her birthday, she has been counting the days.

She doesn’t even know how she asked you, all she knows is that she had to find a way for both of you to be alone together. Her insides felt uneasy with just the thought of it

“Are you sure you don’t want a party, sweetie?” Rita asked, the now 7-year-old, Lisa, as they come downstairs

“Yeah, kiddo, we could bring a birthday cake to your classroom tomorrow” her dad suggested

“I appreciate the concern, but a room filled with kindergarteners and a birthday cake sounds like every adult’s nightmare” Lisa argued

Both parents looked at each other, finally having no reason to debate “Okay then, enjoy your little sleepover. But if you change your mind don't hesitate to tell us” Lynn Sr. assured

“May I remind the sleep schedule we have discussed?” Lisa notified

Lisa proposed to having her bedtime schedule moved to a later hour in exchange to not having a party

“Just be in bed by 10pm because it is still a school night” her mom advised

“I initially suggested 10:30, but that lessens my required REM sleep” Lisa added

“Before we go, can I get a hug from the birthday girl?” her dad kneeled to her level, giving her an outstretched arm

Lisa contemplated “Now that I am a year older, I assume a more matured action could substitute” she mentioned “Fist bump?”

Lynn Sr. gave her the biggest smile and fist bumped her “Don’t grow up too fast, Lis” holding back tears

“Okay now,” Rita cut in “Enjoy your first sleepover, sweetie” walking away with a sobbing Lynn Sr. in her arm

Lynn Jr., on the other hand, still had her eyes focused on the front door, waiting for it to move. Biting her lip in anticipation

When the door finally moved, like a reflex, Lynn’s knees snapped straight immediately making her stand up from her seat

Ending up with the two of you in the same house after after hiding from each other for weeks, is a different kind of irony

“Hey Lisa!” you greeted her, taking off your coat

“I did the honor of personally making your bed in my room, and I calculated how big we should open the window in order to get just the right temperature” Lisa enthusiastically rambled on

You grinned at her energy “Well, Thank you, Lis. I also did the honor of bringing a few movies that we could watch tonight” you mentioned while you took off your shoes

“Still can’t believe you haven’t watched Legally Blonde yet, it’s a classic” you mention curiously

Lisa shrugged “Lori and Leni once attempted to introduce me, never caught my interest”

“Well hopefully after tonight it would change your mind”

You and Lisa continued to talk for a few moments. But in the corner of your eye you see a figure standing in the dining room, quietly staring at you with intent.

The same disappointed eyes in your bedroom from 3 weeks ago.

You knew that accepting Lisa’s invitation would lead to confronting the situation between you and Lynn.

To make things worse, you don’t even know what to say to her. You still can’t keep your mind off of what happened, avoiding Lynn didn’t seem to benefit you in any way.

You took a small glance to look at her for a second. Acknowledging her presence but still not letting things go.

Lynn gulped with a dry throat, feeling all the water on her body being transferred to her hands

It felt like decades since Lynn heard your voice, it felt like she was relapsing.

Immediately taking a breath when your eyes left hers. “I’m gonna go put my stuff upstairs”

You held a strong grip on your bag as you head towards the stairs, having a good feeling about what’s going to happen

In light speed, Lynn was immediately by your side. “Here, let me help you” she offered, reaching for your hand that was holding the bag

“No, I’m fine” you immediately retracted your hand, like you would repel her if she touched you. Not even looking at her direction as you responded. 

Lynn was left awkwardly standing next to the staircase  as she watched you and Lisa walk away

Her eyes never left your direction until she couldn't see you anymore

She closed her eyes and hung her head back in frustration. I can’t take this, feeling like you were completely disconnecting from her.

-

“Great idea not having goulash for dinner, I still feel full from all the holiday meals we had” Leni praised as she sat down the dinner table

“I thought we could spin things up a bit for Lisa’s birthday, since she didn’t want a party this year” Lynn Sr. noted “Plus, we have a guest today” 

You lifted your head from your plate at the mention of your presence “Please, anything you make is wonderful” you put him off

Seated far apart on the table, yet you can still feel Lynn’s stares at your direction 

After ignoring her attempts, such as saving you a seat before dinner started. Unfortunate, that it was immediately turned down by an eager Lily pulling you next to her high chair.

Fortunate for Lynn, she was never close to giving up on anything. 

The only time she would take a break from eating is when she would subtly look at you, hoping to figure out what you were feeling before she would make a move.

And while you were trying not to think about Lynn it became harder the longer she kept looking at you.

You felt a small tap on your arm. “I need to tinkle” Lily said in the most sweetest voice, loud enough for everyone in the table to hear

You grinned at the stains on the corner of her mouth “Alrighty, please excuse us” you announced, carrying Lily off her chair and letting her walk to the bathroom

Lynn finally saw that window and she wasn’t going to waste it 

Hitting her knees on the table, she immediately pushed herself off her chair and stood up, letting out a muffled “I’ll go with you” with food still in her mouth.

You were headed towards the stairs before you could refuse her offer.

Slightly wishing you had planned something to say to her  in advance before you came here. 

You knew that there was a big chance for you and Lynn to be alone and finally talk about what happen. You just thought with the amount of people in the house you would be able to avoid a conversation with her.

Once Lily reached the bathroom she got behind the door, ready to close it.

“Oh, you don't want me to go with you?” you asked her and was followed by a head shake from her

Lynn chimed in “That’s her thing now, she always wants to show that she can go to the bathroom on her own”

You nodded your head in comprehension “Okay,” you hesitantly said “We’ll be right here waiting for you”

Once Lily closed the door, you and Lynn were left with a quite silence that bothered both of you.

You stayed facing the door of the bathroom, arms crossed on your chest and still not looking at her.

“You haven’t spoken to me in weeks” Lynn quietly mentioned, stepping forward in order to get a view of your face and leaning her back against the wall

Your gaze stayed still on the door. No words left your mouth.

“I thought you weren’t going to come”

Your mouth clicked as an objection “It’s Lisa’s birthday, I came for her”

The tension in the air begins to thicken while Lynn thinks bout what to say next. 

The fact that you haven’t looked at her or even acknowledge her presence since you arrived chipped her courage. 

The way your face stayed blank and you grabbed every single chance to distance yourself from her made Lynn believe, for a second, that you genuinely hated her.

Lynn dropped her gaze to the ground and nervously mumbles “Are you mad at me?” she quietly asked

When those words left her mouth, a small jolt of electricity spread through your skin.

In truth, you don’t know what you are feeling. You’re not angry at her. You want to scream, hurt, and fight someone, but not her. 

Having Lynn tell you that you should consider a path in your life that would result in her not being in it, caught you off guard, because you would never want that to happen.

You never thought that you would be in this kind of situation with her. This was so unlike you.

You turn your head towards her and finally caught a glimpse of her face

She’s doing that thing she does when she’s worried, bitting the inside of her cheek. You would notice it in her games, but not when she’s with you

“Lynn, I just can’t right now” you gently shook your head as you closed your eyes

“You can’t expect me to ignore you in my own house” Lynn said in disbelief

“If I had something to say I would say it, right now I have nothing” you monotonically responded bringing your gaze back to the door

Lynn’s impatience was slowly growing. She took a step closer and leaned towards you, licking her lips in frustration

“Look, I’m sorry if what I said hurt you” she started 

“Are you?” you cut her off

“But you have to understand, you sprung that question on me out of the blue, I didn’t know what to say” she strongly pointed out “You weren’t in the right condition, and I admit that I was upset with the letter”

You finally turned your body towards her “Jamie is my friend”

“And I didn’t know that, and you acting all defensive about that letter didn’t help” Lynn argued

You scoffed “Did you honestly think that I would do that to you?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” Lynn calmly asked, eyebrows knitted together “It’s like you have this completely different life that I don’t know about”

Lynn swallowed the lump that was slowly forming in her throat “The moment I stepped in that house it was like I didn’t know you, which embarrassed me, because what kind of person was I when I didn’t know my own girlfriend?” Lynn’s voice gradually became small

“I haven’t met your parents, your siblings, your friends, and every time I would bring them up you would say they’re out of town or you would just be sarcastic with me”

Lynn’s eyes stayed eagerly on yours while she stated all the things that suspected her, which were all true— you keep Lynn separate from everything associated with your past. 

You thought you could get away with it

Her eyes look different today, they look more sad, more desperate. Her green irises look less bright compared to what they usually are

“You know everything about me, and it feels like I don't know anything about you” she concluded

Your mind races to find an explanation that she could possibly accept, anything, just so you didn’t look like a fool in front of her.

But there wasn’t any. No words left your mouth for an entire minute. 

You just stared at her and kept your breathing stable while Lynn looked for any sign of reason from you.

In your entire life you’ve always had an answer for everything. Yet here you were standing in front of someone who has done nothing but give you the whole world, only for you to look like you didn’t care about any of it

Lynn’s gaze finally left yours, taking a step back to unwind

In perfect timing, Lily finally opened the door of the bathroom to indicate that she needed help in washing her hands

Lily pulled her stepping stool to the sink, and before you could take a step to help her, Lynn held your arm to stop you

“Just so you know, I’m not close to giving up. This act of yours is not going to work on me” she reminded you “Talk to me when you’re ready” 

When Lynn finally took off, all the guilt started to wash over you. 

There might be a chance that Lynn was going to forgive you, but you know to yourself it is going to take a while for you to forgive yourself.

When Lily reached the top of her stepping stool, she looked at you with a proud face.

“Good job, Lily” you praised her with a bittersweet look in your face 

Chapter Text

The final week of January brought an unpredictable weather for Royal Woods, the strong holiday snow has slightly melted into picture-perfect snow falls, occasional rains, and sunny mornings. The transition to a warmer atmosphere has also reached the students as the winter formal was only a month away—banners filled the hallways and a number of people have already worked out a proposal for their date. 

However, in your case, the strong coldness between you and Lynn stayed for another entire week. 

Lynn kept her word of waiting until you were ready, but to her it felt like she was being skinned alive. There would be days when she wouldn’t see you at all, she felt uneasy. Sometimes she would purposefully take the long way home after school just so she could pass by your house, but it all left her disappointed.

The extensive internal reflections you had with yourself left you with a nameless dread. It wasn’t the fear of Lynn; it was the fear of confronting your actions.

Talking to her meant that you’d have to face the uncomfortable and guilty feeling you have been trying so hard to hide, but it would also mean that you would have a chance to apologize, to explain.

The need to distance yourself from her grew a lot from the previous days. Although, on this random friday you finally snapped

You’ve had enough. After your last period of the day you basically power walked you way out of the school building, all the way to the field.

Not even caring that it was on the other end of the school from where you were. Nonetheless, the usual 10 minute walk became a 5 minute one

Condensation hits your face the more you breathe. No sentences formed in your head that would’ve prepared you to face Lynn, but that didn’t stop you. With your head empty and your heart full, you stood there on the edge of the field, breathless and tired.

“Can I walk you home?”

Lynn was caught off guard by your forwardness.

She had just finished her after-school training when all of a sudden, in the corner of her eye, she saw someone briskly walking towards her. 

With her surprised expression, she slowly responded, “I'm on cleaning duty.” She directed her eyes to the large bag she had been dragging all over the field, collecting soccer balls.

Her coach had assigned her to clean up after soccer pract ice for ‘not paying attention’ in training.

It was normal for someone to be slightly off their game when faced with conflicts in matters of the heart, but what affected Lynn was her energy; it was slowly declining day after day, she’s not her usual energetic self, mainly for not having the appetite that she used to have.

Her siblings were not ignorant about this. They often see her look so uninterested at family events, getting distracted over the simplest activities. She even skipped dinner once, which never happened before

They have been walking on eggshells around Lynn, carefully trying not to mention anything that might strike a conversation about you. 

“I'll help” you insisted 

Lynn would’ve stopped you, but you were already on the ground picking up cones 

Just as Lynn said, she keeps her mouth shut and waits for you to be ready.

You both shared a wordless walk back to the school gym, even accidentally bumping shoulders when you were in the small equipment room, which was followed by a quick ‘sorry’ from you.

Lynn isn’t really sure where to focus her eyes. She keeps trying not to make eye contact but her patience is getting really small, so she settled for looking at the ground. 

Ever since Lisa’s birthday sleepover, it has been getting harder for you to fall asleep. 

Every night you kept repeating sentences in your head as if to prepare yourself on what to say to her, but here you were, minutes have gone by and she hasn’t heard a peep from you

Aside from the cold weather, you could feel the tension on your skin as you both walked out of the school grounds. 

Looking down on your feet while you walked at a slow pace. You and Lynn took up an edge of the sidewalk, like someone was also walking in between both of you

The silence was gnawing on Lynn’s patience, as much as she wanted to be nonchalant, this was torturing her.

As you kept staring at the pavement, small droplets of water started falling, staining the white concrete.

It quickly started to rain

Like a reflex, you immediately took out your umbrella and casually pulled Lynn under it, the space in between was now nonexistent. 

You both were surprised by your sudden actions

From a closer look, you seem more tired than the last time that Lynn saw you, maybe it was because she hasn’t seen you smile for a while, but the tiredness in your eyes couldn’t be hidden

The moment you pulled Lynn towards you, her skin felt oddly cold. Her body temperature is usually warm compared to yours, even in this type of weather.

Despite the surprising turn of events, you keep walking. The rain continued to pour and it served to silence the silence that you and Lynn were giving each other

The sides of your arms were now touching. This closeness is driving Lynn crazy, she’s now biting her lip to hold herself back from saying anything. She is not letting herself be the first one to break the ice

“It’s true” you finally blurted out

“What is?” She eagerly asked, happy that you were finally talking

You kept your eyes in front of you, trying your best not too look at Lynn and explode into a mess “Everything you said, I do hide things from you”

“Trusting people is something I have a hard time with, for years” you explained, gulping. “I always figured that you would be an exception, but apparently not." Your last words sounded like a mumble, Lynn almost didn’t hear.

“Please know that it’s not a reflection of you or everything we shared. You’ve done nothing but treat me great” you defended “It’s stuff that _I_ have to deal with”

There was no doubt that you had things going on outside of Lynn’s knowledge. She’s now quickly reminded of all her moments of curiosity, but they were unconsciously brushed off in the moment.

As much as it pains Lynn to hear that, she’s glad that from now on she won’t have to make up reasons in her head just to sleep at night. 

Shoes got a bit soaked as both of you walked at a slow pace

Lynn turned her gaze back to the ground “Well, I know that now,” she reassured “I just want to understand, did something happen that made you feel like you can’t trust me?” she asked

 “Or, was it something that I said? when we were at your house?” Lynn gently asked, trying not to push the question

Your mouth opened to give her a reply, but a sudden surge of dizziness that fogged your head and weakened your limbs went through you. 

You took a deep breath while grabbing Lynn’s arm and walking towards the nearest bus stop you saw.  With a roof over both your heads, you let down your arm that held the umbrella. Promptly sitting down on the bench and closing your eyes as your head started spinning

Lynn surprised and confused by what you did, slowly realized your state. She took the umbrella from your hands and put it aside “Are you okay?” she leaned down to your level

The sound of rain continued to fill your ears like a calm hum, paired with Lynn’s concerned and euphonious voice that you haven’t heard in weeks. 

The world felt steady as you opened your eyes and saw her face “I’m fine, I just felt light-headed for a moment” you breathed out

“You don’t have to answer right now”

“No, its just–” you struggled to find the words for a second

“I promise we don’t have to talk about it until you’re ready” Lynn sympathized as you clearly weren’t feeling well

You were certain that if you didn’t talk about it now, the next moments with her would be a lot harder

You swallowed a lump on your throat “It’s just, the thought of you taking a glimpse of my life definitely scared the hell out of me, but a part of me thinks that I owe it to you” you finally let out, talking in a slow pace and praying that she’ll understand where you are coming from

“When you saw that letter from Jamie I panicked because–” you feel your voice start to crack

You looked down to your feet to avoid her gaze “Because, I thought I could keep you separate from all that”

“But why?” she asked

“Because you’re one of the best things that happened to me and I don't want to change that” you replied more loudly than usual, which stunned Lynn. 

She nervously rubbed her palms on the pocket of her jacket, feeling the impact of your words

You sarcastically chuckled at yourself in shame “I feel like a fraud everyday” you held your head for a moment “I’m not… the same person I am when I’m at home.“ You slowly realized

Lynn did not move one bit; she couldn’t even breathe until you finished your sentences.

You stared off in the distance, not moving a muscle “I have always kept people on the surface, I don't open up to anyone about how I feel” you quietly observed yourself in a relaxed manner, almost looking defeated

Everything was coming out of your mouth like word vomit, one that was slow and cautious. 

Lynn felt the worry building in her chest

“Then I met you” Lynn saw you smile at the thought of her, eyes still off in the distance.

“I told myself that I would try my best to keep you away from everything, but I guess that seems impossible” you let out a breathe while you anxiously played with you hands

“Why do you think that you owe me anything?” Lynn’s eyes stayed on the top of your head, waiting for you to look at her

Your lips quivered “I don’t know” looking down.

“You share these parts of your life with me, yet I have nothing to give you back” you answered

Finally lifting your head up to give Lynn a saddened smile “Would you believe me if I say that I used to take more extracurriculars after school just so I could avoid going home? Or that I would purposely stay at your house at a longer time just so there was a chance that your dad would invite me to have dinner before I leave” you avoided her eyes as you spoke, feeling embarrassed

Lynn could physically feel her heart ache at seeing your hurt face, although still smiling. Your soft innocent voice almost made her swell up

“And that it hurt me when you said that I should just go to Boston” you continued, feeling tears welling in your eyes

“Fuck” Lynn cursed under her breath “I’m sorry”

She thought you being so adamant about it meant that you wanted support, and to add to that, neither of you was really in the right headspace

You stared at her regretful eyes “Look, I don’t blame you for saying all those things at your house, it was all true” you calmly reassured “I just wanted you to know that you’re not the reason for all that” you pressed your lips together.

This was the vulnerable side of you that Lynn had never seen before. 

You never failed to surprise her; this was the first time she’d seen you look so wrecked and discouraged, but you don’t fall short on using your words and explaining your side.

If there was anything you could've done to prevent this kind of rut you were in, you would do it even with a thousand knives on your back; for in your head it would hurt more to lose Lynn. 

“I just thought that you were willing to give us up by letting me go to Boston” you said, remembering that night

“What? No,” Lynn immediately objects, sitting down beside you “I didn’t want you to choose between me and your future” she clarified, eyes looking eager

“But I don’t think there is a future without you, Lynn” you casually counteract her reason with a blank look on your face

You slowly start to realize the context of what you said. Crap, you thought. 

 Her puzzled face gave you the idea that you might’ve gone over the top

 “I’m sorry” you apologized

“I love you”

You feel your breath shortened for a moment. 

Lynn swiftly turned her head away at your shocked demeanor  “I’m sorry… I don't mean to put you on the spot or anything” she anxiously cleared her throat

Feeling heat rushing to her ears, she became more bashful the longer you looked at her “What did you expect me to respond to that?” Lynn became defensive and started furrowing her eyebrows together, drifting her seat away from you as a way to sulk

You slowly smiled at her endearing behavior.

You missed her so much.  For a moment, you though you had finally lost it, but you were right where you wanted to be

“I love you, too” you replied, eyes glistening

Once that reached Lynn’s ears, the only thing that held her back was herself. She would’ve picked you up and spun you around in the rain—which somehow, for her, does not completely abbreviate the amount of happiness she was currently feeling. But knowing that both your bodies were not in the right condition, she settled for her words.

She finally saw your smile after almost a month of being deprived of it.

Before she could even respond, her stomach let out a grumble loud enough for you to hear.

For two long seconds, you awkwardly stared at each other without saying a word.

Neither expected that. Lynn felt betrayed by her own body. She annoyingly looked away, knowing she ruined the moment

You let out the first laugh you had in weeks. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat”