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“..Hey, you got something in your hair.” Ashley thought nothing of reaching up and plucking the bit of rubble near Brian’s face; that was until he accidentally brushed up against their cheek, and they sucked in a breath through their teeth. He panicked.
“Sshhhit, shit, sorry.” The apology couldn’t come out fast enough. “That..was an overstep. I shouldn’t have-“
“It’s fine.” They were unreadable again. It made Ashley’s stomach turn. Reading people didn’t come easily to them at the best of times; Brian was a whole other beast entirely. The strained smirks, the sudden biting comments, the bizarro humour…he didn’t know what to make of it all.
And yet he found himself intrigued. So he pushed further.
“Yeah, well…you need to tell me if it’s not. So I know. I, uh…yeah. Yeah.”
Brian said nothing, and Ashley wasn’t bold enough to say any more. So much for pushing. He flicked the rubble away. Damn thing having to make shit awkward. Why had he acted on impulse? Like, sure, he thought he was helping, but- really? You’re just going to reach up and touch their face? Sure it was an accident but their FACE? Their entire fucking face like- like you- like you-
“Hey.”
Oh. Lost in thought, he had clasped his hands together, and been sticking his left thumbnail into the heel of his right hand. So…he’d been thinking too- right. Brian was talking to him.
“Yeah?”
“It…really is fine. I know you aren’t going to believe me, so I don’t know why I’m bothering to tell you this, but…”
“..Okay. I…okay. I just wasn’t, uh, sure, if-“
“If I could handle it? Oh, I can’t.”
Ashley bristled. So he had fucked up. Great. He went to step away, and-
“…It’s been a long time, since…fuck, man, I…it’s so much, it’s so fucking much, but…” Brian trailed off, and it took Ashley a moment to realise they were looking right at him. Daring to meet their gaze, he recognised something that surprised him; the kind of pleading in their expression.
“It’s like…I don’t know, I don’t fucking know what it’s like, but I need it. It feels like every fucking nerve in me is burning, but- I-“
For once, Brian shut up. Ashley had drawn closer again, and wordlessly taken their hand in his. It had been another impulse, and he was absolutely mortified with himself for doing it, and yet his grip didn’t falter. What the fuck was going on.
“..If you need it, then…” Brian had hardly any grip on him, and their hand was cold - or Ashley’s was warm. It was hard to tell. Because he could only seem to fucking act without thinking, his thumb ran over the back of their hand of its own accord.
“Is this…?” Brian nodded.
Ashley was glad of the straight answer, for once. Brian’s gaze had fallen, transfixed on their hands.
“…Do you want me to let-“
“No. …Sorry. You know how it is.” He nodded.
He was beginning to.