Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Pico awoke with a soft yawn. Glancing at the warm clock that simply reads "5:50 AM." Pico sighs, knowing sleep will not be gained any longer. Until he remembers the date. The 17th.

You see, this day is rather special. As Pico was getting married to..

He looks down at the snoring figure, already feeling his arm going numb from the death grip the male has on it.

Soft blond hair, ruffled from sleep. A soft peaceful look on his face, a small smile on it even. Pale skin lightly tanned with days in the sun tending to a vegetable and fruit garden he's been nurturing since they bought the house, there he sleeps. Eyes shut, and Pico just knows even a train horn wouldn't make those stunning obsidian colored eyes open

Pico's Sunflower. His Softie. His Baby Blue.

And his soon to be husband, Benjamin.

Of course, Pico couldn't exactly get married in his boxers and eye boogers in his eyes, and though he did propose with a ring pop it didn't exactly mean he was willing to subject anyone through a wedding like that.

And oh boy, was he not willing to go through anything like that again, the proposal he means.

Benjamin, ever the nervous man after 5 years of dating, gleefully accepting Picos invitation to go on a trip with his "Massive ass family" as everyone likes to put it. And come on, Picos family isn't that big! Only a quarter of them came along! Everyone says its crazy he has 400 family members but like, they're everywhere. It's probably less than that.

Straying away from said family to go up a small hill, to camp a little ways away from them all and to see the gorgeous sunset. Pico getting down on one knee, nervous to propose. He remembers the nervous look on Benjamin face turning into wonder at the sunset, and then turning around to look at Pico with the simple call of his name.

Seeing his eyes well with tears and his face break out in a watery grin at the words Pico says.. until he sees the ring and bursts into laughter.

Pico, ever the nervous mess he was at that moment, thought Benjamin was laughing at his grandmother's ring, one he hoped Benjamin would love... only to look down and see a blue wrapper for a ring pop with "blue raspberry" written on it. And was promptly mortified.

Benjamin happily accepted the ring pop ring, and also the actual ring Pico actually planned to propose with. He finally stopped teasing him about it after only a few years. He sometimes even wears the ring pop- candy long gone- whenever he finds it funny.

Anyway, shaking the thought aside. He gently pries his hand and arm from Benjamins grip, chuckling softly at the loud whine he admits as Pico does so. Benjamins peaceful and very handsome face turning into a small frown, his face scrunches up and Benjamin begins to whimper. Distraught over the warm body that is Pico.

Picos gaze softens, and he coos. "Shhh, it's okay darling." He murmurs, kissing the top of Benjamins head, which immediately settles him. "There we go.. all better." Pico chuckles softly, giving the love of his life another kiss to his head before getting up properly this time and walking to the bathroom.

And then gets blinded by the bathroom light, ouch.

After that.. interesting moment and a quick shower, he dresses. Not in his tuxedo, thats in the dressing rooms at the venue. But into something light, instead of donning his usual green hoodie he instead opts to wear a calm light blue t-shirt and some gray shorts, shaving his face soon after from any morning shadow he might have gotten.

He heads down to the kitchen, opening a can of tuna and settling it down on the floor before Trashi, the amazing white cat he found a few years ago in a alleyway, screeches for food and wakes up Benjamin.

He makes something light, some eggs and toast, foregoing bacon at that particular moment as he mulls over the day in his head.

Pico leaves at 9 with Shaya, Neo girlfriend, and B3 Pico. to go and get ready, waking Benjamin up beforehand as he sleeps like the dead and won't wake up for his alarm. A hour later, at 10, is when B3, Neo, and Neo Pico get Benjamin. With Neo Pico getting both B3 and Neo first as Shaya and Neo girlfriend will have their cars. After a few hours of getting ready, and just as the sun begins to set, around 6, the wedding begins. After that.. he has no idea, although Pico blushes at the thought.

Despite the small groomsmen and bridesmaids, all was happy to do their parts. The groomsmen are B3, Neo, and Neo Pico, while the bridesmaids are Shaya, Neo GF, and, funnily enough, B3 Pico, who accepted despite it usually being a girls position. Hooray!

They decided not to do a flower girl or a ring bearer, as Pico remembers a lot of times as a kid having to sit through weddings, so no kiddos allowed. While him and Benjamin both don't like to party as much, they still did a few parties. A engagement party for one, although that was 4 years ago so like.. not important. Than the welcome party and rehearsal dinner, both equally fun.

Anyway, point is, the weddings complicated, or well the main peoples arrival to it, is. Pico can't afford anything going wrong during that time frame, so he glances at his phone again, having been checking it periodically throughout the entire morning.

He hums, glancing at the clock, 7, and groans. He can't spray paint, that'll make him smell and ruin the shower he already took. But he also can't draw as that'll lead to unnecessary images of what he wants to do with Benjamin to circulate his mind. And sleeping will do no good either.

He huffs, a frown on his face. He doubts he can fall back asleep now anyway. Boredom settles into his brain as he scoops Trashi in his arms and cradles her like a baby, she immediately fights for freedom and Pico laughs, before immediately setting on a particular thought.

What would his and Benjamins kid look like?

Benjamin being trans definitely isn't well known, and he wasn't even sure Benjamin would even want to birth a kid. But he can't help but wonder what the kid would look like if they did.

Red hair and Benjamins warm obsidian eyes? Blond hair and his white eyes? A mix of both? A girl or boy? So many ideas, too little time.

A knock on the door snaps Pico from his thoughts. He shakes his head idly, getting up and opening the door. Immediately getting jumped by the loud voice from Shaya.

"HELLO!" She laughs at Picos startled expression. She quiets her tone and moves past Pico, leaving him lightly stunned. "Okay! So I decided to come early, for no particular reason, thank goodness you're dressed already, I thought you'd answer with eye boogers and be messy haired." She snickers while Pico rolls his eyes. "Yeah, woke up at five and decided to get ready. It's nine already?" He asks while she shakes her head.

"Nope! 7:30. But I decided to come over as, well, the other two are already at B3 Picos house. And goodness knows you're a disaster and will need all the help you can get! Come on!" She laughs, grabbing his hand and, with immediate protests from Pico, drags him out.

Silence fills the home. A calming silence save for the sounds of Trashi.

A phone buzzes, Picos wedding planning phone, cause why would he have that, goes off.

Neo Pico: Hey, so.. I won't be able to go pick up Benjamin, came down with something serious, don't got B3 and Neo's numbers so I am hoping that you can relay that to them, considering it's a good few hours before they pick Ben up they can think of something.

The phone screen, after a moment, goes dark. Taking the message with it.

-----

Neo is never usually this excited for a wedding, hell he was for his own, but not for B3s, the dumbasses was too formal. No, today his adorable soft hearted friend is getting married.

After 5 years he didn't think they would at this point. But hip hooray. Him, B3, and (ugh...) Neo Pico are set to help get Benjamin ready. The plan being Pico wakes him up beforehand so he showers before they get there.

Now, he has no idea what the hell Neo Pico is doing, but where the fuck is he? Neo taps his foot impatiently. B3 notices. "What?" He asks while Neo rolls his eyes. "My version of Pico was supposed to be here like, a hour ago. Where is he?" B3, after a moment of thinking, shrugs. "Maybe he got Benjamin and already got him ready? N. Peeks isn't the type to ditch." He grins while Neo sighs. "Right. But still, would've been nice as a heads up." B3 shrugs.

"Oh yeah, definitely. Maybe Benjamin is just being fussy on his special day and he forgot. Come on, let's see if we can score a taxi or something." Neo, after a moment, sighs, and agrees again.

Everything will be fine, after all.

------------

A few hours pass, of course it's uneventful aside from the people rushing around Pico to get him ready. He slips easily into his tuxedo, his dress shoes fitting him well. His ginger hair gets brushed, and cut as it was sorta needing one. Some cologne is applied to him, small amount of makeup done. And now he waits. Its 5:30. Hes already seen B3 and Neo wandering around, so they definitely got Benjamin, how else would they get here. Pico's leg bounces, nervous to all hell.

"Fuck, I can't do this." He says suddenly, and Neo Girlfriend snaps her head towards him, smearing her lipstick slightly. "Yes you can. Don't even think you can't!" She hisses, the outburst attracting Shaya, who puts down her eyeshadow. "Whats the matter?"

Over Picos protests, Neo GF speaks. "Pico thinks he can't do the wedding."

"The fuck you mean you can't do the wedding? You've been planning for years!"

"I just can't!" Pico says. "I can't, I'll make a fool of myself o-or something and then the next thing you know I'm on one of those compilations on Tik Tok about horrid grooms being terrible and my family will kill me, and-"

"Slow your horses tough guy. Only way you'll be on one of those is if you talk about your dick the entire time, and thats not you." Shaya laughs, and then gets serious. "Look, in a few minutes the ceremony will begin, you'll get your ass up there, see Benjamin come down the aisle in his white tux, say your words, and then get to make out on stage." Pico makes a strangled sound at the last bit, covering his face in his hands. Shaya snickers.

"You're about to marry the love of your life. If you don't go up there Benjamin will be all alone at the altar and thats when your family will murder you. So, take a big, deep breath." Pico does so. Closing his eyes. "There we go. Come on, weddings don't wait."

--------

Pico hums lowly, scrolling through the multiple texts he sent to the coordinator, who hasn't even arrived yet. Pico grumbles lowly, scowling. This will be the last time he listens to his aunt about hiring someone, if this dude doesn't show by the time Benjamin walks down the aisle Pico swears he will scream. He already did his part in walking down the aisle first and the dude has just been ignoring his texts.

He takes a deep breath. It's okay, a wedding coordinator isn't even needed, although it definitely would be nice thanks to the amount of people who was here, which luckily wasn't all of Picos family, only about 70 showed up. Still a big crowd, but eh. And even then everyone is here, the officiant has already said his words of wisdom even, just the stupid coordinator isn't and won't respond to his texts

Pico stands there calmly, waiting. B3 and Neo chat idly near him, talking about random stuff Pico couldn't care less about. In a few minutes Benjamin will walk his happy ass down the aisle and he gets to properly see the man he loves oh so much in his glorious tuxedo. In a few minutes.

.

.

Those minutes come and go. And Pico frowns. He's probably running... a little late, right? Nothing too bad. He'll show up soon.

Even more minutes pass, Benjamin still not showing. Now Pico is worried.

Pico bites his lip anxiously as he stands at the altar, quietly looking over at the area Benjamin was supposed to exit out of any minute now. His mind beginning to race with thoughts.

"Where was he? Is he okay?" Pico murmurs to himself, lightly rocking on his heels as he stares worriedly at the doors. Picos family begins to murmur under their breaths, and Pico could feel panic slowly seeping into his veins, he pauses his thoughts for a moment to take a deep breath. It's okay, he'll be fine.. calm.

B3, sensing Pico worry, speaks up. "Hey don't worry about it man! He'll be here soon." He grins while Neo rolls his eyes and covers his face in his hands. Unfortunately neither that nor B3s words helped calm him, instead making him even more worried.

"He was supposed to be here twenty minutes ago, can't you guys go check on him really quick? You guys did pick him up with Neo Pico and all, so you guys should know where he is." Pico asks and tells them anxiously, already pulling out his phone to check his messages to see if someone has sent anything, and to maybe call Benjamin.

Pico is unknowing to B3 and Neo's sudden silence as they look at each other, worry donning their faces. Pico, after a moment, looked at their faces. "What?"

"What do you mean we was supposed to get him?" B3 said, face slowly turning pale as he looked at Neo, whose own face was also beginning to pale at the realization of what has just happened, and what they accidentally did. Pico froze, slowly turning his head towards them.

"...What?"

.

------------

Pico sighs softly as he pushes his fingers against the bridge of his nose. "Let me get this straight." He says to the, currently tied up by their wives, B3 and Neo. "You guys didn't get a message from Neo Pico, who didn't show to pick you up, and instead of texting him, as you both have his number, you just assumed he decided to ditch you both and just go get Benjamin." He says as they sheepishly look down.

"Well, thats the jist of it." Neo mumbles, looking rather troubled. Pico sighs, already feeling the nerves pulsing through his body. "Great, just great. And I couldn't wake him up so he probably isn't gonna answer his phone cause he sleeps like the dead!" Pico throws his hands into the air, his fingers beginning to nervously twitch.

"Why didn't you and Benjamin make a backup plan?" Shaya asks after a moment of Pico grumbling. Pico sighs. "I have no idea, bad judgment on our parts really, thinking B3, Neo and Neo Pico wouldn't have issues. Should've thought of that."

"This would've been solved already if he was up." B3 grumbles, idly swinging his legs in the chair comically too big for him. Pico groans. "Well, he would be if Shaya didn't get me early!" He hisses as Shaya glares "Don't blame this on me, man."

"Right, I'm sorry, its just.. nerves." Pico says sheepishly after a moment of silence. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and calls Benjamin again, hoping he will actually answer this time.

---------------

Benjamin yawns softly as he awakes, grumbling sleepily as the lights from outside shined in his already pained eyes. He mumbles angrily, cursing the sun as he flips over, only to be greeted by an empty and frankly cold bed. His ginger haired Toughie long having evaded Benjamins grasp. He blinks, sitting upright. His groggy and blurry eyesight falls on the empty spot on the bed. He huffs.

"Damn Pico, not even a goodbye kiss?" He murmurs sleepily, a fond, happy smile on his face despite his apparent anger. He then frowns sleepily as he tries to remember.. what date is it? He grabs his phone, finding it dead. He squints, attempting to remember. It was.. the 15th yesterday, so 16th today, right? He hums, looking around and spotting a photo of Pico.

He giggles at the memory of his red haired fiancé, of which he was surprised he actually was engaged too. Pico was ever so handsome, and muscular, and talented, and tall, and- and Benjamin ever so..

He shakes his head, taking the thoughts with them. He sighs as he collapses back into bed, closing his eyes sleepily. After not sinking back into the sleep he so desperately craves, Benjamin huffs again and gets up, slipping from the warm blanket and into Pico's hoodie to hide any marks Pico decided to leave in his sleep if he did leave any. And also the wonderful old faded scars his parents have left on his skin.

Despite his cheerful words, they're less than wonderful. Old, old scars from when he was 19 (and oh boy, he feels old from that sentence alone.) and even younger litter his skin. Ranging from marks and scuffles from his father's abuse to small purple circles of old cigars being pressed into his already frail skin.

His mother, while not laying a hand on him physically, also was abusive. He still remembers the harsh glares, the cruel murmuring to his father whenever Benjamin did something they didn't like. The harsh fingernails digging into his back-

No, those were years ago, Ben. You and your therapist talked about this.

He yawns, stretching before he gets up, plugging up his phone. Scratching his chest, he wanders into the bathroom. After doing his business and taking a nice long shower, he brushes his teeth and idly grabs a sketchbook, tossing the towel he has from his shower onto his shoulder and unplugging his phone from the charger before yoinking Trashi from her spot on the counter and ignoring her yowl of protest as he sets her on the floor again.

"Don't you dare shout as me missy! You're not allowed on the counter!" He scolds as she yowls in outrage before stalking off, Benjamin giggles fondly at the cat, watching her walk off before his phone rings. He blinks in surprise for a moment, he wasn't expecting anything today, right?

"And then our time concludes, and far beyond the stars we flew, fore-"

Benjamin immediately interrupts the ringtone and answers with a yawn and another scratch to his chest. "Hello?"

"Ben?" A shaky and anxious voice greets his ears. Benjamin pauses, immediately sensing the worry the voice carries. "Yess..? Toughie are you okay? Whats wrong?" Benjamin states, putting down the sopping towel he had in his hand.

"Where are you? You were supposed to be down the aisle like 25 minutes ago!" Pico's voice fretted over the call. He can hear some angry murmuring in the background and a small slap with a yelp from someone obviously sounding like B3.

Benjamin mulls over the question for a long while. confusion and dread slowly prickling his already worried mind. They didn't have anything planned today, did they? No wedding planning, or aisle walks, hell not even a doctor appointment. One of the very few days they got thanks to the wedding planning. And the wedding was tomorrow, so a chill day of snuggles was upon them today. Or so he thinks.

"What? The weddings tomorrow Pico, I thought we were having a chill sleepy day today, where are you?" Now its Benjamins turn to be worried, a thin frown pursing his lips as he worries his bottom lip between his teeth.

"..No? Baby Blue, the weddings today. Where are you?" Pico says after a moment of pause. Benjamin laughs, now even more nervous and confused. "I'm pretty sure it's tomorrow, no? It's the 16th, we has the dinner last night, the 15th. the weddings on the 17th." Benjamin says, nervously drumming his fingers on the counter as he stops spreading some butter over a piece of toast.

Softie, we had the dinner yesterday, the 16th, not the 15th. Which means today's the 17th- fuck Softie just check the calendar!" Benjamin flinches at the slightly angry tone that snaps in his ear but listens immediately. Not at all planning to snap back at Pico due to the stress in his voice.

"Okay okay! Lets see.." Benjamin walks to the calendar, and immediately runs his fingers on it like a dumbass, murmuring under his breath as he counts the blue X'es on there.

"14...15...16... huh." 16 sit calmly on the calendar. 16 X'es for 16 days passed.

16.

Today was the 17th. Thats the wedding. Benjamin is late to the wedding.

A pause fills the call for a moment until it properly dawns on Benjamins poor brain just what that means. He pales, and immediately begins to scramble.

"..FUCK-!"

-------

Pico winces at the loud clattering of Benjamin dropping his phone, as well as the cursing and banging that immediately assaults his ears. He pulls it away and rubs his ear idly as the call suddenly disconnects.

He looks over at B3 and Neo, who glare at the ground, tied up in the chair while their wives glare at them. Pico speaks up. "Neo GF." He says, the neon haired girl looking over at him immediately. "Stop glaring at your husband and release him, Softies coming and he's probably not gonna be dressed." He says while she nods and, with one last glare that screams Neo will be sleeping on the couch for years to come, drops his bindings. B3 whines.

"Why does he get to be released but not me?" He pouts while Shaya huffs. "Cause you didn't call or text anyone to double check on if Benjamin was actually here. Now zip it." She huffs while B3 grumbles.

"I thought Neo Pico picked him up! He usually does everything in brooding silence! And he didn't call or text us either!"

"Doesn't matter." She says easily. "I not only called you and told you so you guys could go and pick him up, but also told you via text. Besides, Toughie asked for Neo's release. So shush." Neo sighs at Shayas words and B3s grumbles about "not getting the message" and looks at Pico again.

"Ignoring B3's dumbassery-" "Hey!" "-why and how exactly am I supposed to help?" He asks while Pico groans.

"Cause Otis is an asshole and isn't gonna help, not to mention he isn't even here yet. Shaya, please release B3 as well." Pico says while Shaya immediately dumps B3 on the ground. "You both will, when Benjamin arrives, get him immediately into the changing room and get him ready, we're already behind schedule and I think my dad is about to blow a gasket." He says, wincing as he glances at his rather furious father speaking to his ever stoic uncle.

"Wheres the hells the coordinator?" Neo GF speaks up. Pico groans. "Dudes a no show, for fucks sake this day is turning into a disaster.."

Grace took the moment to pop up as well, Senpai in tow. "Wheres Benny? Everyone's getting worried." She says with a frown while Pico sighs again. "Apparently the dumbasses who was supposed to get him didn't due to a stupid assumption and he slept in." He says while Grace winces. "Oof, is he coming?" "Yes, but he probably won't be dressed, actually, he might just be in pajamas. You think you can help him dress?" Pico asks while Grace immediately nods. "Will do! I-"

Theres a slam of a car door before someone kicks the door to the wedding venue down. "Im here!"

Benjamin has arrived.

He looks like he just got into a fight with a.. something, and lost. Fluffy blond hair completely wild, a wide, pale face hidden by the blond locks, eyes, wide and bloodshot, look out at the massive crowd that is Picos family, who stare back at him. Some glare angrily at Benjamin, while others glare and whisper to the people sitting next to him, hostility obvious. It makes Benjamin immediately more nervous.

His clothing consists of Pico's green hoodie- way too big on his four foot frame, and.. nothing else it seems. His lower half luckily protected by the hoodie that falls to his knees.

"Im here! Im here!" The missing groom gasps, collapsing to the floor for a moment before getting gently tugged upright by Neo. Whom, after a small flinch of surprise he frowns at.

"What the hell, Neo?" He says as Neo grins sheepishly. "Sorry man, me and B3 thought Neo Pico got you, feel free to scold us later, but come on. Let's get you ready before Pico panics even more." He grins as B3, Neo, and Grace drag him into the dressing rooms. Benjamin gets one last look at Picos relieved face before the door shuts.

----

Benjamin frowns nervously as he looks in the mirror, his white tuxedo making him look dashing, although Grace huffs at the bowtie. "Why a bowtie?" She grumbles as she fastens it. Benjamin blushes. "Cause Pico said I looked handsome with it and the tux, better than the bowtie." He says, suddenly finding his dress shoes interesting.

Grace clicks her tongue. "Fair, you do look rather dapper. But bowties are annoying. Sit." She says while Benjamin does so immediately, she grabs a comb and Benjamin watches as she quietly brushes his hair.

Minutes go by, panic slowly creeps into Benjamins veins. He takes a deep, shaky breath, but he can't help but remember.

The angry faces of Picos family, their hostile glares and harsh glances reminding him so much of his father and the hell he-

No! No, calm down. Deep breaths Benjamin. Stay calm... stay clam.. oh.., he can't do this...

"I can't." Benjamin chokes out, hands trembling as he covers his face with them. Grace pauses her combing. "What?"

"The wedding! I can't- can't do it! Pico will hate me- his family a-already does! Im not cut out for this!" Benjamin whimpers, curling up in the chair while Grace snorts. "Oh no, some random people you might never see again have a bad opinion on you."

"But Grace-!"

"No Benny boy, listen to me." She puts down the comb and grabs his chair. Spinning it around, she grabs the sides of his head. "You are about to marry the love of your damn life, it doesn't matter what Pico's family fuckin' says, in the end they're gonna have no choice but to accept you."

"But Pico-"

"Will get castrated by me if he even dares do something. Calm down." Benjamin whimpers softly as he squeezes his eyes shut, taking deep breaths. "I still can't do this.."

"You can. Now wait here for a moment, I have to get something." She says, patting his head before Grace walks off.

---

A few minutes later, Grace returns with some spray, immediately noticing the lack of Benjamin in the room. "Ben?"

No response, she frowns. Until she sees white coattails peeking from the big closet, she frowns. "Ben? Come out."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"They hate me! Everyone out there does! I saw the glares! The harsh whispering!" A sniffle, a soft hiccup. "They're gonna be angry im getting married to Pico and figure out a way to ruin the wedding more than I already did!"

"Ben.." Grace says, much more softer as she opens the door to the closet, Benjamin backs away.

"I'm not leaving." He says again, his eyes refusing to meet hers as he tucks himself into the very back of the closet. "Tell Pico we get married in here o-or not at all."

Chapter Text

Pico has become extremely nervous as he talks to Senpai idly, what is taking them so long!? Did Benjamin run off, left him alone? Is he okay? Did he want a divorce before they even-

No, stop thinking about that. Benjamin loves Pico just as much as Pico loves him. He wouldn't do something as dumb as leave, he would've already done so by now.

He blinks as he sees Neo storm up to the altar, where Pico stands. "Wheres Benjamin? Is he okay?"

Neo groans. "Hes in the closet."

"Wow, finally announcing hes gay at the day of the wedding? Thats hilarious- OW!" B3 hisses at the smack upside the head he got, rubbing his head as he grumbles and ignores Neo's glare. Pico frowns. "So..?"

Neo sighs. "I was told to come get you, cause he's saying hes not going out here."

Dread prickles Picos brain immediately. Nervously tapping his fingers. "Why?"

"Hell if I know, but I don't want to drag him out unless I have too." Neo responds, glancing at the already agitated crowd of Pico's family and their friends. Pico blinks. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"I'll... go talk to him." Pico says, hopping off the altar and walking down the aisle into Benjamins dressing room, where a commotion seems to be taking place. Or a argument, that feels more likely.

"Im not leaving!" "Ben-" "N-No!" "Ben please.." "Kiss my butt Grace! I'm not-"

"Softie?"

Silence settles immediately over the two as Pico pokes his head in, seeing Benjamin huddled deep in the closet, sniffling and wiping his tears on the heels of his hands. "Pico?"

"Hey my sunshine.." Pico immediately coos, smiling at him as he sinks to his knees and allows Benjamin to crawl into his lap. "Heard you was having some issues." He murmurs into Benjamins ear.

"I can't- I can't-" Benjamin chokes out, burying his face into Picos neck. "I can't-"

"You have to, darling." Pico murmurs into his ear, wiping the few tears that slide down his face. "And I don't mean that in a "I must get married to you bleh" way. But its just.. I have high doubts even half my family will fit into this tiny dressing room." That provokes a soft giggle from Benjamin. And Pico grins. "See? Even you know. Come on."

Benjamin shakes his head. "I c-can't."

Pico frowns while Grace sighs. "He thinks everyone hates him." She says as Pico blinks, processing the silly claim. "Oh Sunflower.. no.." Pico says softly, cupping Benjamins face into his hands and staring into his watery eyes. Pico smiles. "They don't hate you, anything but that. They're just..."

"Assholes."

"Well I wouldn't use that word. But thank you, Grace." Pico rolls his eyes while Benjamin giggles again. "Listen." Pico begins. "They love you, but think about it, wouldn't you be mad if the groom of the wedding you was invited to arrives 35 minutes late and is dressed in a hoodie?"

Benjamin frowns. "B-But-"

"No buts, baby." Pico chuckles. But Benjamin still continues anyway.

"YES TO BUTS! P-Pico, your family hates m-me." Benjamin sniffles, squeezing his eyes shut. "I-I saw their glares, a-and they've been waiting so long f-for me to arrive anf they're p-probably are gonna do something bad a-and not mention I was f-forgotten about on my own wedding day! I c-can't-"

"My family probably thought you're just going to try and marry me in practically nothing, or ran off and was dragged back. All our friends probably thought the same. Pico interrupts Benjamin in a soothing tone, cupping his face into his hands and kissing his head. "And don't worry about Neo and B3, they won't be getting cake cause of their dumbass assumption."

He grins, pausing at Benjamins confused look. "Right, they assumed Neo Pico got you and abandoned them and didn't text or anything and just went here under that assumption." He explains, and clears his throat after Benjamin makes a small sound of recognition.

"Anyway, besides that, it's been like, a hour and they're cranky. I would honestly be too if I had to be in stuffy clothes for that long. My family will more or less chill out after dinner and cake, but before then we gotta get going, moja miłość." Pico chuckles, cooing at Benjamins blush. "Do you feel better?"

"A-A little.. b-but.."

"Softie?"

"It's just.." Benjamin sniffles softly, rubbing his eyes softly, he hiccups. "Their glares reminded me so much of..."

Picos grin falters immediately. He frowns, and hums. "Well, that's.. something. Do you wanna talk about it?" He says, pulling Benjamin closer and lightly rubbing his back. Benjamin shakes his head. "Not really.. but if it's not a hassle..."

"I'll schedule an appointment with your therapist, don't worry." Pico reassures, Benjamin brightens, albeit only slightly. "Now do you feel okay?" Pico asks, Benjamin nods. "A little bit better." He grins softly. Pico beams

"Good. Now, come on. We have to go get married, everything else can wait." Pico gently gets up, setting Benjamin down while he continues to sniffle. "Take a moment to calm down, okay? I'll be waiting." He murmurs into his ear and, with another kiss to his head, takes his leave again. Grace snorts. "So your childhood friend doesn't calm you, but the dumbass you're marrying does?"

"Well-" Benjamin is interrupted by Neo, who claps his hands. "Okay! Enough conversation, we have a wedding to do and I have gray hairs to pluck out thanks to hell that's happening and the impending scolding I am gonna get." Benjamin giggles at Neo's misfortune while Neo sighs. "Come on, let's make you look presentable again."

------

Soft music begins to play, the sound making Pico immediately giddy and the crowd or orange haired people (and others, a lot of other BF AUs are here) settle. This is it! The day Pico gets married to-

He looks around the altar, frowning in worry. Nobody? Damn it, does he need to help calm Benjamin again? Maybe postpone it till later? Pico frowns, just what is-

A small scuffle sounds from the area near the aisle, growing louder until, with a loud yelp, Benjamin gets shoved into the middle of the aisle and quickly gets settled by Neo, who holds his arm. As Benjamin walks down the aisle, his nerves continue to grow, the harsh glares, however, are less harsh than before. No one dares to whisper to each other, although there's plenty of staring. Pico, unknowing to the staring as his breath got knocked away at the mere sight of Benjamin.

Of course, Pico already saw him, but still

Benjamin wears a white tuxedo coat, and some dark gray dress pants, shoes, and white socks. Underneath his coat is a lighter gray button up vest, or shirt, and a darker gray long sleeve shirt underneath, the sleeves lightly poking out the tuxedo coat. He wears a rather pretty golden bowtie to highlight the look even further. He's...

"Absolutely beautiful.." Pico murmurs to Benjamin as he situates himself in front of Pico. Benjamin blushes. "Awh, t-thanks, y-you look good as well."

Indeed Pico does, although in Picos eyes not as pretty as Benjamin. Pico wears a much darker coat, underneath a dark gray long sleeved shirt and pants, as well as shoes. Pico also wears a dark red tie, not a bow, which Benjamin pouts over. Pico snickers. "Sorry, didn't know how to tie the bow."

"You don't know how to tie a tie either!" Benjamin huffs, a big grin on his face despite it. "Oh shush, the others didn't know how to tie a bow so I went with the next best thing!" Pico laughs lowly, but gets interrupted by the officiant, who speaks.

"We are all gathered here today to celebrate the union of Benjamin Fairest-"

Benjamin twitches at the mention of his current last name. His lips pursing into a small line before setting into a grin.

"- and Pico Newgrounds! Marriage is a lifelong commitment where the two who choose to go on this path have chosen to share their lives. To face the world as partners and, most importantly, build a future together."

"We gather today to celebrate this love and marriage, that seemingly transcended the bounds everyone thought existed."

Benjamin blushes, looking down at his shoes for a moment, then back up into Picos warm, white orbs. Picos expression is of pure love and adoration, so much so Benjamin begins to feel weak in the knees. "Don't pass out, Benjamin. You can do that later."

"And now, the two soon newly weds will exchange vows, a testament to their love for each other. Who would like to do first?" The officiant says.

"Me-" "I do-" Benjamin and Pico immediately speak up, the crowd laughs as they turn bright red in embarrassment. Pico clears his throat.

"I didn't particularly think I'd ever stand here, I'm sure my family would have maybe forced me to get married eventually, but, ya know.."

Pico chuckles softly, taking a deep breath, before looking into Benjamins eyes again and gently taking his hands into his.

"I just, didn't expect it to be with the love of my life, the man of my dreams, even. The shy little kid, now little adult-"

The crowd laughs while Benjamin pouts. Yes he is like 4 ft but Pico doesn't have to rub it in!

"-I've known since, like, middle school. I've known since the second I stared into your eyes for the first time in wanted to be with you, even though I first rejected you."

Pico grins while Benjamin also follows, although his is more breathless. Pico continues.

"I guess, I would like to say, I can't wait to live out the rest of my days with you, to.. to grow old and watch the sunrise. And I promise to protect you, to be patient, to encourage you, to stay with you for the rest of my life and stay even as we turn to stars. I am also fully prepared for the kick to the nuts I will get for the short joke." Pico snickers, it getting cut off as he looks at Benjamin. "But no matter what, I will always be right by your side, your person to lean on." He finishes in a much more softer tone.

Tears slip down Benjamins cheeks as he giggles softly, wiping them away as he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and begins.

"Well, I definitely didn't expect that." The crowd chuckles while Pico blushes, despite this Benjamin grins. "And while my tone says otherwise, I didn't mind. Goodness I don't, I loved it." He giggles, and takes another deep breath. "I don't think my vows can compare but I want to try." He says, pulling a small, crumpled paper from thin air apparently.

"Okay, so. I, also didn't expect to be standing here, I always thought that, with my parents and how they are.. were.. my wedding would be.. different." He frowns, before continuing again. "Most likely with someone I'm sure you all know, as a rapper, and kept under lock and key, but that.. didn't happen."

"Instead," Benjamin says, standing up straight. "I had a man come barreling into my life yip yapping about running away and freedom away from my parents, something I've wanted for a while, but didn't know how to achieve. And while I knew this kid only in passing, via either whispered words, passing glances or calls over the intercom thanks to fights-" More laughter. Benjamin giggles.

"I still knew that, despite not knowing this kid well, the second I looked into his eyes I just knew wanted to be with him.. forever."

Benjamin takes a second, wiping some tears from his eyes as he chuckles. "A-And while my first... confession, didn't work out, I still knew my life was with Pico. The love of my life. And so I kept trying and... eventually succeeded. Which leads me to our leap of faith. The man who stands before me so- so.."

Benjamin glances at him, his cheeks turning red.

"P-Pretty. Is someone who ripped me from my previous chains, ones I thought I would be stuck with forever, and made me who I am today. So, I vow to stand by his side, to love him, support him, annoy him forever and ever. And of course."

He narrows his eyes and glances at Pico again.

"Kick him in the nuts for his short comment after this ceremony is over." A loud laugh from B3 echos, Neo not even able to contain his laughter as he pinches the bridge of his nose and looks down. Pico snorts. "Can't even reach my knee, short stuff."

"You take that back you cock-"

"MOVING ON" The officiant interrupts their playful bickering. "We shall exchange the rings."

A soft pillow, where two titanium rings sit, engraved with the simple words of "You are my Sunshine." On one and "My only Sunshine." On the other. One has soft swirls that could be spray paint, the latter having vines with small flowers wrapping around the ring. With the engraved date for the wedding date on it. They're not flashy or anything similar, but still, they represent love, and thats all that matters.

"These rings, much like the vows, represent the new beginnings of your relationship, one that has no limits, a circle of love that has no beginning, or no end. Benjamin, please take your partners ring and repeat after me."

Benjamin does so, picking up the former ring and gently situating it onto Pico's hand. He snorts. "Ring finger babe." Benjamin pauses, then squeaks and actually puts it on the right hand. He clears his throat.

"With this ring, I give you my heart, my soul, and my love, for today and all the days of my short life.” "Hey why do you get to make the short jokes?"

"Shush!" The officiant says while Benjamin giggles. "Pico, take your partners ring and repeat after me." Pico complies, grinning as he gently takes Benjamins hand and slips the ring on, giving his hand a gentle kiss, which makes Benjamin bloom red. Pico stares into his eyes as he repeats the words.

"With this ring, I give you my heart, my soul, and my love, for today and all the days of my life. I promise, my Sunshine.”

The officiant looks at them, mainly glancing towards Benjamin, who is vibrating to a concerning degree. What the hell? He continues.

"Pico N.Grounds and Benjamin Fairest, you both have declared your live and commitment to one another, having exchanged vows, sealed the promises you have made, and gave and received the rings. And so, by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husbands." He takes a deep breath, already knowing what Benjamin will do by the way he tenses. "You may now kiss the-"

Poor dude is unable to finish as Benjamin full on launches himself at Pico, much to his laughter and surprise. Benjamin takes no time in wrapping his arms around Picos neck from his position in his arms and smashes their lips together. Pico makes a loud strangled sound but does kiss back once the shock settles. Pico smiles into the kiss, holding him close while also ignoring the loud whistling from B3.

Pico sets Benjamin down after a, to them, unknown amount of time. Benjamin having a huge, excited grin on his face while Pico looks slightly winded, but also is grinning.

Time to ball.

Chapter Text

After the kiss, Benjamin and Pico faced the crowd, Benjamin turning slowly. Pico noticed and immediately snickers as his bright red face.

"What? Just realized you made out with me in front of everyone?" He asked as they begin their small decent down the aisle. Benjamin nods softly. "Sorry..." he murmurs to Pico while he grins again.

"Don't worry about it." He whispers, kissing his head, which Benjamin blushes at.

Benjamin blushes even harder at the loud cheers as they continue to walk down the aisle (with wolf whistling from a certain two people). Some people begin to throw things at them, luckily just small things like flower petals, and, strangely enough, coins. Benjamin blinks.

"Why..?" He asks in confusion, which Pico laughs softly at. "Well, its Polish tradition. Something about good fortune and a prosperous future."

"Oh." He says as he slowly leads the wedding party to the reception, of course along with Pico. Pico snorts and laces their hands together. "You need a break?" He asks softly, Benjamin purses his lips and then nods. "Kinda."

Pico nods and, when the reach the wedding reception area, walks off to speak to Neo and B3, after a moment of stern words they, wide eyed, nod quickly and dash off. Pico returns and smiles. "Got us a few moments, before pictures get taken anyway."

"Oh shoot I forgot about photos!" Benjamin immediately exclaims, almost interrupts Pico, looking panicked. "Hey hey Sunflower, calm." He gently presses their foreheads together and takes a deep breath, Benjamin immediately follows.

"We still have a little before we was even supposed to begin to take photos, I'm damn sure the photographer won't mind taking us last, suns not even setting yet, really. He reassures as Benjamin whimpers, but nods. Pico smiles softly. "You okay? Come on." He says in almost a whisper, tugging Benjamins tuxedo shirt and gently leading him a little ways away from the gorgeous clearing they picked for the venue. Benjamin giggles.

"Pico, this isn't supposed to happen till tonight."

Pico turns bright red. "Wait! Wuh.. wait. T-thats not-" he stammered, and practically growls after a moment. "Not what I meant, you said you needed a break so we're taking one." He huffs and gently nudges Benjamin. He sits down, pulling Benjamin into his lap, which Benjamin squeals at.

After a long, comforting moment, Pico gently tracing his hand against Benjamins thigh while they chat idly, he speaks up. "Are you okay? Ready to continue?" He asks. Benjamin pauses, then slowly nods. "Okay."

Pico smiles. "Perfect, darling. Come on."

"Never call me that again."

"Oh come on! I need to find marriage nicknames."

"Do I have fo remind you how many you already have?"

"...No..."

"Than shush." Benjamin giggles, immediately getting pulled aside along with Pico by Picos dad. Pico blinks. "Whats up?"

"You boys are gonna be the death of me." The man gruffly states, gesturing for them to follow him. They comply. "How so?" Benjamin asks as they go towards a specific table, one with bread and salt on it. "Gówno, listen, it is a Polish tradition to do this, so listen." He speaks, and the new couple immediately falls silent. "On the table is bread covered in a small amount of salt. And some vodka." The older man explains, handing a piece of bread to both of them.

"According to this old tradition, we- well, I, " Picos father grunts, and continues. "Present you with bread and salt so that your home might always enjoy abundance, with the bread to hope you both never go hungry, a gift from God himself, and salt to make sure you both remember the things life throws at us, and the difficulties, and hope for you to cope." He says as Benjamin and Pico both take a bite, Pico doing so with gusto while Benjamin is slow and tentative.

"And this," Picos father speaks, gesturing to the vodka. "Is the toast. Benjamin choose the-" He gets interrupted as Benjamin nabs a small glass, Pico snorts and chooses a vodka type and gently pours it into the glass. Benjamin giggles.

"Moving on, drink." They both do, Benjamin immediately making a face while Pico chuckles and then chucks the glass behind him. Benjamin pauses. "Pico, what the hell."

"Just do it, if it breaks we have good luck." Pico says as Benjamin slowly complies, the glass, of course, shatters, and Pico beams.

Picos dad chuckles lowly. "Following tradition I would kiss both your cheeks, but I doubt you both would like that, huh?" He laughs as Benjamin shakes his head frantically, Pico laughing at his new husband's antics.

Then, Picos dad suddenly turns.. solem. "You know, your mother would be very, very proud of you, son." He says while Pico falls silent, a sad look on his face. "She'd be all happy, excited her little boy is getting married.. I just.." Picos dad sighs. "Miss her."

"She's probably doing okay up there, dad." Pico says softly, pulling his old man into a small hug, and pulling away after a moment, Picos dad laughs. "Oh Im well aware. She was so damn excited to meet ya, yaknow." He chuckles while Pico also does, albeit slightly uncomfortable. "Then, of course, you was born, and with you being ten pounds and all she had complications." He sighs while Pico looks rather uncomfortable. Then he realizes Benjamin has fallen eerily silent and looks over at him.

"Softie?"

"Pico." Benjamin begins, his face slightly pale, his eyes wide as he looks at the man. He purses his lips, and continues. "We're never having children."

"What? Why!?" Pico exclaims, shock on his face, although he's slightly grinning at Benjamins absolute terror.

"Im already tiny enough!" Benjamin hisses, gesturing to himself. "I'll explode if our kid is also ten pounds!"

Picos dad laughs. "Oi, don't worry kid." He claps a hand on Benjamins back, which does nothing to ease Benjamins worries. "Pico was a rare case, and even then back then they had a much harder time finding out weight on babies. You'll be just fine." He says while Pico nods.

"See?"

Benjamin shoots him a narrowed look and Pico shrinks softly. "We will talk about this later, mister." He growls out before shoving Pico down onto the grass and settling into his lap again. Pico snorts.

"Im that comfortable?" "A little."

They stay like this for a little while longer, then finally get up, and get yoinked away by the photographer to take plenty of photos, which they do gleefully. Most, though, had to be taken again ad the poor newlyweds couldn't stop looking at each other and giggling like crazy.

When they finally finished, they note, thankfully, that the guests have already been served. Pico immediately brightens at the food he almost thought he would have to beg Benjamin for. Luckily he was very happy and excited to learn about the food Pico grew up eating.

Benjamin and Pico, after settling in their own little side of the table, B3, who's already drunk at this point, wobbles upright to do a.. strangely good toast.

"Hello everyone!" B3 says, speaking slowly despite his drunkenness."For alllll yall who don't know me, I am B3, and have known Benjamin and Pico for quite some time now. It's a honest honor to be standing here today despite how bad the wedding began." A soft snort from someone in the crowd. B3 continues. "We gathered here today to celebrate the awesome fuckin love of Benjamin and Pico. I've seen how happy Pico has made Benjamin, and despite the fact it was kinda my fault the wedding began late, he didn't get all that mad, which I think is neat."

"Anyway, enough about me." He hiccups again. "It was obviously very damn clear from the start they was destined to be together. Like two peas in a pod. Heres to a lifetime of love, laughter, and a whole lot of endless adventures for the two. To Benjamin and Pico!" He says loudly as they cheer and immediately erupted in chatter.

Benjamin narrows in on the food, curious. Pico notices, and smiles. "You curious?" He says as Benjamin nods, sheepish. "I should've learned about it but.. kinda forgot.."

"No worries, don't mind telling ya." He pulls Benjamin closer, and points to a dish on his plate. "That is 'kotlet schabowy' which roughly translates to 'breaded pork cutlet.'" He says cutting a piece and pushing it into Benjamins mouth, he makes a cheerful, happy sound, and Pico laughs. "Its good, yeah?" He says while Benjamin immediately nods. Pico, after a moment, making sure Benjamin swallows, gestures to a smaller bowl.

"This is Bigos stew, dunno if you'll like it, but its stew made with meat, cabbage, and sauerkraut, and a few other stuff of course." He scoops up a spoonful and lets Benjamin try. He does make a face at it and Pico laughs. "Expected that. Ohh, you have Pierogis! I was looking for those." This time he points to a lightly toasted bread looking item. Benjamin blinks.

"Whats that?"

"The best damn thing you'll ever eat! What side did you get these from?"

"Uhh.. near the- uh.. kotlet schabowy." Benjamin lightly cringes at the slightly butchered word, Pico laughs. "Okay, I think I asked for some desert ones. And your pronunciation was fine."

Pico clears his throat. "Pierogis are like, so damn good. They're basically a dumping but you fill them with good stuff, these I think have a mix of potatoes, meat, and mushrooms. Maybe some cheese, I forgot if I asked for that.You dip them in the gravy-" Pico grabs Benjamins hand and, gently, dips his Pierogi in. "And eat it!" He, jokingly, opens his mouth, only to choke and sputter as Benjamin does indeed shove it into his mouth. He snickers softly.

After a while of eating and simply enjoying each other's company, Pico speaks up. "Man this is good." He laughs while Benjamin nods. "Mhm." He seems slightly distracted, frowning. Pico picks up on it and also frowns. "What?"

"We said no kids at the wedding, right?"

"Yeah, aside from Skid and Pump, but they're plenty old enough." He says, looking around in confusion. "Why?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just.. thought I saw two kids running around." Benjamin says with a frown, wiping his mouth while Pico snorts. "Having baby hallucinations already?" He says while Benjamin laughs. "No. No, but I'll keep an eye out." Pico nods, reaching over and squeezing Benjamins hand. "Will do, darling. Ill keep a eye out, too."

With that, they continue to much on their food. Well, Pico eats normally, Benjamin devours his plate like its his last meal. After a while, Pico speaks. "Hey." He says while Benjamin looks to him, face puffed out with food. "Hm?" He... says...? While Pico snorts at his face. "Well, my little chipmunk, you think its time for the cake cut?" He asks, Benjamin swallows his food and thinks.

"First, never call me that again." Pico pouts at that, huffing. "Second, I think so, B3 already gave his speech, and I don't think.." He gets distracted, swearing he saw a kid running out of view. He grunts, shaking his head before continuing. "I don't think anyone else is gonna. A few people are even dancing." Benjamin giggles, gesturing to Picos dad, B3, Neo, and a few others who are going nuts. Pico laughs.

"Right." Pico says, getting up and gently taking Benjamins hand.

A small crowd has already formed, the few people who was dancing stopping to huddle near the cake as Benjamin and Pico approach. Benjamin squeezes Picos hand, wanting reassurance, and Pico gently squeezes his hand back.

They stop their lovely hand holding to grab the knife. Benjamin giggles at it. "Alright, first sacrifice." He jokes, Pico laughs and softly kisses him. "Mhm, which one will be our victim?" He says, looking at the cake.

The cake was small, not really. Two tiers, it had a mountain theme, a remembrance to where Pico proposed, on a mountain overlooking the sunset.

The bottom tier has dark blue mountains, tipped with white, and then in the gaps those mountains left, a slightly lighter mountains (and tree's doting the area) are there, and in those gaps, slightly breaking into the top tier, even lighter colored trees. The rest, however, is a gorgeous red orange, it being brighter near the center of the cake, like a sunset overlooking the cake. On top sits small mini stands of Benjamin and Pico. Benjamin beams.

"I still love the cake. Do we..?" "Have the backup ready if case people want more? Yeah." Pico continues, gently kissing his head as they listen to the goofy romantic music playing. Pico thinks its called "Stars Aligned" but he doesn't dwell on it, only laughing and gently grabbing the knifes handle.

"Softie scoot." He immediately teases, nudging him while he scoffs. "Nuh uh, you move." He says as they both, gently and carefully, slice the cake, Benjamin immediately grinning at the soft fluffy goodness inside.

They cut a big slice for themselves, but before anything else can happen Benjamin looks to Pico and, with a big mischievous grin. Smears cake frosting on his cheek.

The reception goes silent for a moment, all staring at Pico and Benjamin. Picos face remains shocked for a moment before he coughs, grabs some frosting and, rather gently, smears a small mustache onto Benjamins upper lip, which Benjamin giggles at.

"Alright, smart ass, come on." Pico says, poking Benjamins nose with his frosting covered hand and gently pulling him back to their table. "Let's eat our slice." He says, grabbing a bit of it and holding his fork out for Benjamin to eat from, which he does happily, him moving to do the same.

After some generous cake eating, more photos, (frosting mustache included, Benjamin refused to wipe it off.) and cake eyeing, Benjamin cheerfully drags Pico over to get another slice. While there one of Picos aunts interrupts, speaking in Polish to Pico in a rather demanding voice.

"Hej, chłopcze, potrzebuję, żebyś na chwilę zajął się moimi dziećmi, podczas gdy pobiegnę do łazienki. Miałeś swoją zabawę, a teraz musisz wypełnić swoje obowiązki jako starszy kuzyn." She snaps, nudging two kids, who both have cake all over their faces, at them. Benjamin startles while Pico makes a face, and sighs.

"Mildred, nie mogę opiekować się twoimi dziećmi. To jest mój ślub! Dlaczego w ogóle tu są? Inwazja mówiła: żadnych dzieci!" He snaps back, Benjamin speaks up, looking confused. "What is she saying?" He asks Pico who sighs. "She wants us to watch her kids."

"But this is our wedding..? And we said no kids?" Benjamin says slowly while she snaps back. "Zamknij gębę, Amerykaninie! to jest biznes RODZINNY, nie masz w tym żadnego udziału!" Pico snarls at her words, Benjamin flinches. Pico snaps back.

"Zamknij gębę! Jest i na zawsze będzie częścią tej rodziny! On jest moim mężem!" He snarls at her. She hisses, closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath, speaking in a.. unnervingly softer tone. "Nie mogę sobie z tym poradzić. Będziecie czuwać nad moimi dziećmi, to głupie przyjęcie trwało już wystarczająco długo."

Pico shakes his head. "Nie będę opiekować się twoimi dziećmi, które w ogóle nie powinny tu być." He says, turning away from her, nudging Benjamin, who was pale from all the yelling, and gently pulling him away, speaking in soft, comforting words to help him calm down, as well as apologizing for not ending it sooner.

Mildred screeches as they walk away, however. "Ignorujesz mały bachor!" She snarls, before grabbing the remaining slices of cake and

Launches. It. At. Them.