Chapter Text
Jihoon couldn’t do it.
Not now. Not ever.
It shouldn’t be too complicated though and the boy had more than enough time to think about it for the past few weeks. It’s not like this was some kind of impromptu thing – well, it kind of was since he didn’t exactly have a whole speech prepared – he actually thoroughly thought this through and he wasn’t just going by the spur of the moment.
But knowing and having a plan doesn’t always make the nerves go away and maybe he should have paid more attention and appreciated the words of encouragement from Jisoo the other day while Jeonghan, being the asshole that he was, was poking fun at Jihoon’s dilemma. How were those two together again?
Jihoon will never understand.
“You should probably do it now.”
The short male jumped at the voice invading his thoughts and sighed when he saw that it was just Seungcheol. When did he get here? They were at Jeonghan and Jisoo’s shared apartment along with the rest of their friends who were just lounging at the main room, watching some movie about some serial killing barber. All Jihoon knew about the movie was that the guy who played Captain Jack Sparrow was in it and it did seem like an interesting film but he had other things on his mind and not everyone was paying attention to the film anyway.
Jeonghan and Jisoo were just really looking into each other’s eyes on the loveseat; Mingyu was just texting on his phone, while Seokmin and the man who is currently occupying Jihoon’s mind right now was just to the side and laughing together about some joke that the rest of them will probably just shake their heads at. The only people that were really paying attention to the movie were Chan, Hansol and Seungkwan who was bothering his half-white boyfriend to ask about the movie.
“I’m sorry, do what exactly?” Jihoon asked with a blink, the only people who knew of his plan was the couple on the loveseat so it made no sense for Seungcheol to infer about that.
The older chuckled, “Jeonghan can’t keep his mouth shut.” Ah, of course. How could Jihoon ever trust that long-haired demon?
“I’m going to kill him.”
“Don’t worry, I’m the only one he told.” Seungcheol tried to help out his best friend but it was all in vain because no one can ever be safe from Lee Jihoon’s wrath but at least he tried.
“Whatever, I think I’ll just back out anyway.” Jihoon sighed as he glanced at Soonyoung, clutching onto Seokmin’s arm for support since he was laughing so hard at one of their jokes. He really didn’t want to ruin the mood.
Seungcheol frowned. “But weren’t you set on doing it today? Isn’t that the whole point why Jeonghan invited us all here to hang-out anyway?” he asked.
“Well.. not entirely the reason. Jeonghan’s been meaning to invite us over anyway so-”
“Still, you said you were going to tell him today, right?”
Jihoon bit his lip and looked at Seungcheol with a frown, “Why do you care?” he was getting annoyed. He has been bothered enough about this whole confession thing and he was getting sick of it. The choice was his not anyone else’s.
Seungcheol seemed a bit taken back by this. “Well, I mean we’re friends and I just want what’s best for you plus it’s not good to keep things like this to yourself, also I’m sure Soonyoung would appreciate your honesty.”
Jihoon doesn’t think he has ever heard Seungcheol any more genuine than he had just now and it was his turn to be a surprised although the older did have a point and he was glad that his friends cared about his well-being and love-life or lack of.
There was silence between them for a few moments and Jihoon let out a sigh, “Sorry, I guess you’re right… I’ll do it.” he said, still a bit unsure but he didn’t want to prolong his passiveness about his feelings any longer. If he doesn’t do it today then he won’t ever.
Seungcheol smiled and pat Jihoon on the back as a sign of encouragement but it didn’t make the shorter’s nerves stop from going haywire.
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Now, Jihoon was standing before Soonyoung who was looking at him, eyes widened and mouth slightly agape, confused about as to why they were no longer inside of the apartment but rather outside and in the empty hallway. The pink-haired boy wasn’t exactly sure how that happened either but it all happened all so fast and he just walk towards the blonde right after his conversation with Seungcheol and just escorted him out while the others watched the two of them with different degrees of confusion and amusement.
Jihoon took a deep breath. It was now or never. (Really, he was just being dramatic at this point.)
“Okay, Soonyoung, I’m going to tell you something very important and I need to you shut the fuck up and not say anything until I’m done. Don’t even react, alright? Just, let me finish.” Wow, he was definitely coming out as more aggressive than he had planned. Well, no turning back now.
As soon as the blonde nodded, Jihoon continued but with more hesitation and uncertainty in his tone.
“Listen, I like you.”
“Oh,” was all Jihoon heard, he could not determine what kind of ‘oh’ it was exactly as it did not sound like it was either a positive or negative reaction from the younger. He refused to look at his best friend’s face since Soonyoung has always been a very expressive with his facial features, being the performer that he was. “Well, I like you too.”
For a moment, the strawberry-haired boy had a spark of hope in his heart.
“You’re my best friend.”
And just like that it was gone, like the flame of a candle carried away by a gust of wind.
Of course, how could of he have expected anything else? Soonyoung would never reciprocate his feelings, he should have known.
Jihoon was to just accept his fate and walk away defeated with his unrequited love but something stopped him, the memories for the past couple of years of doting on and getting frustrated with his best friend because the boy just couldn’t take a fucking hint. He couldn’t just give up, he finally had the words out and now all he had to do was clarify and that was easy enough. He already had the courage to say those words and now all he had to do was push a little further and if that still doesn’t work then at least he can walk away with his pride and he can say that he really did try and there was just nothing he could do to change Soonyoung’s mind. He wasn’t stupid, that’s not how feelings work. You couldn’t actually make someone like you, it’s either they do or they don’t and that’s just how it is.
“No, that’s not it,” Jihoon had to force the words out and he was glad that he said it loud enough the first time because he would have surely backed out if he had to repeat itself. He looked up and he saw the slight tilt of Soonyoung’s head almost like a puppy, as he waited for Jihoon to carry on, “I mean I like you more than a best friend and I don’t know if you’ve noticed because according to everyone else, I have been nothing but obvious about my feelings and it’s been driving me crazy because I don’t like this stupid warmth that I feel every time I’m with you – I mean I do but like it’s annoying and I’ll understand if you don’t like me back.”
Oh god. Jihoon has never said so much in one single breath before and he wasn’t even sure if Soonyoung understood a word that he said, but do his eyes deceive him because honestly, he expected the other either to run away, sneer in disgust or even decline his confession politely because Soonyoung was such a nice guy and he just wasn’t capable of the first two but why the hell was he laughing?
Jihoon was standing here, the color of his face probably matching his hair, staring at his best friend with confusion and disbelief. Was Soonyoung making fun of him or what? He wasn’t sure and he was torn between waiting for the blonde to finish or just running away and never looking back. He could also just punch Soonyoung in the face because how fucking dare he laugh at him – The motherfucking Lee Jihoon.
“What’s so funny?” Jihoon snapped or at least he tried to but there was a layer of insecurity in his voice and he was relieved that Soonyoung caught on because he was calming down from his high and looked at the shorter male but with a grin still evident on his lips.
“You.”
“I’m being serious!”
“I know,” Soonyoung said with a nod of his head and Jihoon just waited for him to carry on because he wasn’t sure how to respond anymore and he feels like he has already said enough, “I’m sorry I never realized how you feel.” the blonde was sheepish. Jihoon was both relieved yet slightly irritated because everyone - everyone - in their group knew and he never thought that anyone could be as dense as Soonyoung was.
Sure, Jihoon isn’t exactly the most affectionate person in the world but he did treat Soonyoung quite differently than the others, he was softer and more forgiving when it came to his constant physical and verbal abuse, also low key looked after the boy even when he could barely remember to take care of himself. Really, how the fuck did Soonyoung not notice Jihoon’s sickeningly obvious feelings for him? This was a bunch of bullshit.
“Ah… it’s fine.” was all the strawberry-haired boy could say. He wasn’t really in the mood to bitch about it, not when his nerves were still all over the place and wait - was he supposed to say anything else?
“So…” he started, what was he supposed to say next?
Soonyoung just looked at him, expectantly. Good, at least he didn’t look disgusted or anything like that. That would be the horrible if Jihoon has to lose his best friend just because he needed to develop these stupid things called feelings.
“do you wanna… like, go on a date…” Jihoon trailed off and added quickly “with me?” he felt stupid. Obviously, it would be with him, why would he ask for someone else? That’s just ridiculous.
Soonyoung laughed, “Sure, why not?” he beamed at the shorter male, “When?”
Jihoon felt a tad bit better but some of the nerves were still there.