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Jaehyun can’t keep up with the stress; the first college year is taking a toll on him in more ways than he would like to admit. The past months he has been struggling to keep up with all the assignments, practices reunions and living on his own.
He started studying architecture 8 months ago, and besides the number of assignments, he got a research scholarship, so he spends the afternoons working in the university. On the weekends, he just tries to catch up with university and his house duties; he lives by himself in an apartment building close to the university. The building is filled with students, sometimes making it impossible to get some sleep, his neighbors making so much noise until morning.
But at least, he had Doyoung.
-
He met Doyoung at the beginning of the semester. His university made a Buddy Program between people from his degree with the purpose of the older student could help the new ones. At first Jaehyun thought it was going to be a waste of time, because he knew how to draw and he really liked buildings, but soon he realized that was not even close enough to start studying architecture.
After the first week, he applied for the Buddy Program, only because he didn’t know how to download a bunch of programs. The same afternoon he received an email from the students that organized it, containing Doyoung’s email and phone number. He knew he was going to look desperate, but he instantly added him and started a chat with him.
Jaehyun was a little bit taken aback, Doyoung looked like a biblically accurate architecture student. He got up his desk, looking himself in the mirror. He still looked like a dumbass; he could not help it. He hurried and change, luckily for him he lived close, so he found himself in the cafeteria in 10 minutes. He started shaking his feet, his leg unable to rest. Why was he feeling this nervous? Was it because he had a submission next Monday and he didn’t even start because he literally had no clue how to do it? Or it was because, frankly, talking with a third year was scary? He thought it was both, 50-50, but when the cafeteria doors opened and Doyoung entered, he definitely knew it wasn’t because of the submission.
He spotted Jaehyun quickly, raising his hand and approaching him. They shook hands, Jaehyun feeling extremely nervous, but Doyoung sat at the table and quickly ordered himself a coffee.
¨Do you want something?¨ He pointed at his empty part of the table.
Jaehyun just shook his head, not even knowing what he could possibly order.
¨And some water¨ Doyoung added and thanked the waiter when he left. ¨So, welcome to the university. You don’t look at all like a first year¨
Jaehyun smiled awkwardly, he got that a lot. ¨Thanks. You do look like a third year¨
¨Thanks?¨ Doyoung frowned, but laughed anyways. He thought that was not the time to explain he was a gifted kid, and his teachers made him skip a year ¨So how was your first week¨
¨Hectic, that’s why I applied to this buddy program thing¨
¨I applied also two years ago¨ The waiter came to the table with his coffee and a bottle of water, that he gave directly to Jaehyun, the youngest slightly bowing ¨Are you taking all the courses?¨
¨I applied for the research scholarship, so I literally had no option¨
¨No way! I’m also in the research team! We have our first meeting next week¨
¨I know¨ Jaehyun said coldly
Doyoung felt uncomfortable and tried to change the topic. He learnt about how Jaehyun lived also in his apartment building and that maybe they didn’t see each other before because he had an afternoon schedule, and Jaehyun a morning one.
¨So the downloading a bunch of shit thing¨ Doyoung asked again, and Jaehyun felt flustered, he was way more comfortable texting before than talking now ¨What do you need help with?¨
Jaehyun crouched a bit just to sit up confused, turned to see the back of his chair. He forgot his backpack, with his computer. Doyoung stared at him, because Jaehyun literally went blank for a minute.
¨Everything okay?¨ the oldest asked
¨I forgot my computer¨
Doyoung laughed softly, and Jaehyun let himself laugh about the situation too.
¨Can we use yours?¨
¨Yes, but I already have a lot of programs downloaded¨
¨Fuck true¨ Jaehyun was starting to get really nervous, feeling again like the dumbass he looked like.
He didn’t want to give that impression because he was really a smart kid; he was hardworking, passionate and creative. He didn’t want to look like he didn’t give a fuck. Before coming to the university, he even bought some fake glasses to look more focused, but he thought wearing them to look smart was a very stupid act, so he just hid them in his nightstand. Also, he really needed these things to start working on his assignments, so he literally had to have them downloaded today.
¨Do you mind if I go to my apartment and take it? I can be back in 15¨
¨Oh but I can go with you¨ Doyoung said, sipping the last coffee he had ¨I also live there¨
¨True, true¨
They asked for the bill, but Jaehyun didn’t even got a glimpse of it, Doyoung just taking it and paying in the counter. He felt annoyed, he didn’t need anyone paying for his things, but he let it slide. He hoped he didn’t need to talk to Doyoung so much after this.
They went to their apartment, going directly into Jaehyun’s place. It wasn’t organized, and Doyoung really seemed to be disgusted by it.
¨You can sit over there¨ he pointed at his couch ¨I will bring my laptop here¨
Jaehyun got into the little hall and saw how Doyoung moved some of his dirty t-shirts, pants, and even underwear. He felt so ashamed he quickly went to grab his laptop.
They spend a couple of hours downloading programs and getting student licenses. Jaehyun offered Doyoung tea, while he got still into the computer.
¨Thanks¨ the oldest said, grabbing his cup of tea ¨I think you got everything settled down. I also got a bunch of notes I took in these two years, if you want them, I can email them to you¨
¨That will be nice, thank you¨
They both sank into an awkward silence, when Doyoung’s phone started ringing. Some of his friends invited him to grab some drinks in another apartment, in the same building.
¨Do you want to come?¨ he asked Jaehyun as he picked up his things
¨No thank you, I really should get started on the projects¨
¨Well, its Friday and it’s kind of late, but I get it. If you feel tired, text me. We will be in the last floor.¨
Jaehyun smiled, letting Doyoung out of his apartment. He felt tiredness all over his body when he left, he didn’t remember the last time he had a conversation so long with someone.
But even when he got directly in his bed, he was smiling. Maybe Doyoung wasn’t so bad after all.
-
And Doyoung wasn’t so bad after all.
When Jaehyun’s first year ended, they were already studying together, Jaehyun asking Doyoung some questions when his pride let him, and Doyoung gladly answering.
In his second year, they spend even more time together, now not only in university, but they go to the cafeteria sometimes to have breakfast, and when they need to pull all-nighters, they order food together. They helped each other with the projects, mainly the urbanism ones.
In his third year, Jaehyun can comfortably say he has a huge crush on Doyoung. He didn’t know when happened, but one night, Doyoung was crashing in his couch (even though he lived just a couple floors down), and he felt mesmerized, looking at him. He started realizing that he couldn’t have done everything he has done without him. And for some reason, he trusted Doyoung so much he didnt’t feel scared at all.
-
It’s his third year, which means is Doyoung’s fifth, which means he is graduating. And he decides it’s an amazing idea to confess to him in that day.
So, after the act, Jaehyun is sitting next to Doyoung in a very big round table. They are having dinner with the graduates, and Jaehyun feels a bit out of place; he does know them, he has seen them in the halls, in the conferences, and even got a drink with Doyoung closest friends, but still. He didn’t graduate but he was sitting there, with a black suit.
After dinner, they move into a club kind of room, big enough to dance comfortably, but Jaehyun doesn’t want to drink. He wants to confess. So he grabs Doyoung arm and ask him to come outside, placing themselves near a table in the terrace.
¨Do you want to smoke?¨ Doyoung ask, and Jaehyun cannot talk, so he shakes his head
¨Are you going to puke?¨ He asks again, and Jaehyun shakes his head again
¨What do you want then?¨
¨I want you¨ Jaehyun suddenly says, Doyoung looking at him with the biggest eyes he has ever seen ¨I want to kiss you¨
Doyoung drops his glass on the table and grabs Jaehyun face, kissing him hardly. Jaehyun isn’t sure about what to do, but he doesn’t want not to kiss Doyoung, so he kisses him back.
He wasn’t feeling out of place anymore.
-
The next years aren’t as easy and comfortable as the first ones, because the two years Jaehyun spend finishing his degree, Doyoung starts a master of science in architecture studies in urbanism, but abroad. They try to see each other every couple of months, but its not enough. Jaehyun tries to get more courses than he should, only if that meant finishing a little bit early. But he feels exhausted, he doesn’t have time for anything or anyone, and that means also Doyoung. He is partly doing it for him, because he cannot stand the distance anymore. He almost has no one in his building, he doesn’t go to breakfast at the cafeteria. He has to read articles of urbanism because he was so used to Doyoung helping him, that even if he is studying a master in that, he doesn’t want to bother him with his useless questions.
One afternoon, he realized that it was already nighttime, he hadn’t even eat for the whole day, sitting in his desk since 8am, didn’t even turn the light on because he didn’t realized what time it was.
And just like magic, his discord is ringing, a call from Doyoung. He accepts it but he doesn’t turn on the camera. He does look miserable, and he doesn’t want to worry his boyfriend about his poor management of time. Luckily for him, Doyoung also has his camera off.
¨Hey baby¨ Doyoung greets ¨Are you okay?¨
¨Hello love¨ Jaehyun answers ¨I am a bit tired, but holding up¨
¨You don’t sound like you are holding up¨ he knows his boyfriend his frowning right now, he knows him too well ¨Did you have dinner?¨
Jaehyun laughs, because he did in fact, but yesterday. Fuck, he really wasn’t holding up.
¨I’m so fucking exhausted¨ he admits ¨I cannot keep up with this¨
And Jaehyun knows Doyoung was right when he told him he didn’t need to do it, that they would look up for another solution, but still, the oldest doesn’t tell him I told you so, he just keeps listening to his boyfriend.
¨I just want you here, I want to sleep with you, I want to have breakfast with you, to go grocery shopping,… fucking hell I even want you to help me with university¨ Jaehyun can feel he is crying ¨I just want to chill with you, I don’t want to be this stressed and you so far away¨
¨Focus Jaehyun, what do you want to do?¨ Doyoung asks him
¨Chill¨
He sighs, feeling already a headache coming. He thought that couldn’t get any worse, but he hears his door ringing.
¨Wait baby, someone is ringing my door. I think it’s Jungwoo again¨
Jaehyun curses, he doesn’t understand how Jungwoo, his neighbor upstairs, always drops laundry on his balcony. Still, he opens the door, and he sees Doyoung in the hall, with two big suitcases, with his phone in the hand, smiling from ear to ear.
¨Surprise¨
Jaehyun embraces him in a never-ending hug, choking Doyoung a bit. The oldest insists on going inside, leaving the suitcases by the door, and Jaehyun hugs his boyfriend in the couch, kisses and tickles him. He is so happy he doesn’t even need to hear the explanation of why he is here, but he should, so they sit up straight, letting Doyoung finally breathe.
¨So I technically finished my master, but only because this last semester was about internships in a company, as I told you¨ Jaehyun nods, eager to hear his boyfriend voice in real life, but the excitement wasn’t letting him understand fully the situation ¨I choose to make some research internship in this university, and they accepted it. They even hired me Jaehyun¨
Jaehyun doesn’t know what that means. He knows all the words separately, but he cannot make sense out of them when they are together like this.
¨I am staying here. With you¨
And Jaehyun doesn’t feel exhausted anymore. He doesn’t feel helpless, and now he can see his efforts were worth it.
He finally had Doyoung.