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I'm Ado, a Japanese utaite known for a strong voice and my mysteriousness. I sort of did something that... I should not have done. I'll just describe what happened.
It's 9:00 PM on a Sunday, and I'm just walking through a city after recording a song while carrying a baseball bat. Nobody recognizes me, thankfully. I pass buildings and people when I pass this one specific woman with a black, rhinestoned, sort of revealing outfit. She has really terrible black makeup on her skin and an... interesting hairline.
"What the fuck...?" I muttered under my breath. I decide to search up this person and find that her name is Jojo Siwa. She's one year younger than me, and it turns out she never actually looked this... "edgy."
I look at this woman and for some reason, my first thought was to punch her right in the face. My intrusive thoughts won. I ran up to Jojo and landed a critical punch square in the face. I tried not to grunt or yell loudly so that people wouldn't recognize me from my voice. I am a singer after all.
I look around and notice some people looking at me. I then stare at the girl I punched and notice her standing up.
"Dude, who even are you?" She asks me. I stay quiet, but then I say that I'd rather not let people know. "Oh, you'd rather not let people know?" She says.
"Yeah, I literally just said that." Without warning, Jojo dashes up to me and scratches me with her long nails. "Ow, what the fuck?!?" I exclaim.
I punch her and prepare to land another one, but as I move my hand, one of the rhinestones on her over-bedazzled outfit blind me. Why the fuck did she even put that much on her outfit, I thought. I quickly recover and kick Jojo into a wall.
I obviously didn't mean to kick her into a wall, I only meant to just kick her. I dash up to her and knee strike her shoulder. It felt weird knee striking a bunch of rhinestones. As I turn to walk away, I felt something stab my leg. I looked down at my leg and realized Jojo stabbed me with her nail. I look down at her in disbelief.
"What the actual... FUCK?!?" I yell. I grab Jojo's wrist and pull her finger out of my leg. I glance at my wound before fixing my eyes on her and punch her in the face. I think she's bleeding now, since I saw a bit of red on the wall.
I grab Jojo directly by the neck and attempt to throw her at the lightpost near me, but before I could do so, I get stabbed again. On the arm, this time. Because of this, I suddenly let go. She suddenly raises her fist and prepares to punch me, but before she could land the hit, I block it. I'm not some kind of martial artist or anything, so I don't know how I did that. I observe my bleeding wounds before looking at Jojo and grabbing her. I hurl her at a wall, causing it to get stained in red.
It's kind of weird seeing some of you guys' favorite Japanese utaite assaulting some American singer in public. I don't give two shits, though. The people witnessing this happen don't actually know what I look like.
Back to the thrashing. I kick Jojo in the shoulder, and she starts bleeding from there. I then stomp on her ankle.
"Dude, can you sto-"
"Shut up." I interrupt Jojo. I don't even know jack shit about this bitch other than the fact she's one year younger than me and used to be associated with rainbows and unicorns even though she claimed herself to be a "bad girl who did some bad things."
Jojo stands up and kicks me with her heel. I begin to feel blood trickling down my cheek. I wipe it off and stare at it with a shocked expression.
"Wh... You bastard!" I cry out. This half-assed piece of shit needs to be K.O.'d. She's pissing me off now. I pull out the baseball bat I got from being filmed for the music video of my song "Readymade," which I originally had in case someone would attempt to hurt me while on my walk.
I brush my hand over the wood before lifting the bat up and swinging it at Jojo. I hit her with the bat again, and I keep beating her until she's completely unconscious. After falling unconscious, I walk away. I might've killed her, cause I saw lots of blood spewing out. I begin to walk home to put bandages on my leaking gashes and punctures, even though there weren't much.
Today was... interesting. I just beat up some random American woman, which was the most unexpected thing to happen. I thought people would start hating on me, but when this became viral, I saw people... liked that? I don't know what Jojo Siwa did, but people didn't seem to like her. I'd... rather not find out why. I put on some bandages and fell asleep without thinking about what the fuck just happened.