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Every day at dawn Leo wakes up and runs the path that goes around the sanctuary like a belt, before spending another hour or so in the armory and the gym, refining his skills with weapons and martial arts. As the appointed Guardian of the Seer he's required to be fit and trained, but from the moment the seer opens his eyes in the morning, Leo's day is long and lacking in free moments to dedicate to his own training, so he has to use the earliest hours to fulfill the obligations he has towards himself – and therefore the Seer – according to the Law.
At this hour, the sanctuary is a giant asleep on the hill overlooking the city. The monks are already saying their morning prayers, locked in the very heart of the building, where their private ceremonies are celebrated, and it's too early for the believers and beggars to come and worship the Gods or ask for help.
In a couple of hours the doors will be opened and the commoners will be able to come inside and pray, but for now everything is still and quiet and peaceful, the only sound is that of Leo's quick steps on the gravel.
Leo doesn't mind to wake up so early, it is what he has been doing all his life. In fact, he can't really remember a time when he didn't train every morning before breakfast or when he didn't live here. He was three when his parents offered him to the monks of the sanctuary as a possible Guardian for the Seer. Funnily enough, Leo clearly remember the faces of the other five children – firstborns of the patrician families of the city, like him – waiting to be chosen as guardians, but he has only the faintest recollection of his parents' faces, who he has never seen again, as he has never left the sanctuary since the day he came to live in it. He must always go where the Seer goes, and up to now the Seer has not been allowed to go anywhere.
After the run and the training in the armory, it's time for him to get ready for his day of work. As he crosses the hall that leads to the stairs, he sees the Prior coming towards him. He stops and hides the towel he was wearing around his neck, getting into his formal position, even if he's wearing his work out clothes and not his guardian attire. The Prior is so tall that the hall seems too small to contain his bulky figure, his head almost touching the ceiling. Under the hood of his robe, only half his face his visible, and the straight line of his jaw gives off a sense of sternness.
The Priors are the heads of the sanctuaries all around the country. Every big city has a sanctuary. And every sanctuary is ruled by a Prior. All together they make up the High Council, that meets up every month to discuss religious matters and legislate. They are ten in all, and they are supposed to be equal, but their Prior, having the responsibility of the sanctuary that sheltered the past two seers and is now sheltering the third, holds a prominent position among both the other Priors and the religious community. Seers are rarely born always in the same place, so even though the High Council is reluctant to confirm it, this is kind of a miracle.
The Prior regularly speaks to the sanctuary guards, among which Leo's included, although with special duties, but he spoke directly to Leo only twice – when he was chosen as a guardian and the day after that, when he was called in the Prior office to be given the lecture on his role at the sanctuary – and he'd rather not repeat the experience ever again. Luckily, the Prior sees him, but he doesn't slow down. His only acknowledgment of Leo's presence is a little nod. Leo remains still, his head bowed in respect, his hands crossed behind his back, and he doesn't move until he can't hear the man's steps anymore.
Now that he avoided an awkward conversation, he decides to run the rest of the way to his room, hoping nobody sees him. Running inside the sanctuary is forbidden, as many other things.
One of the upsides of being the guardian is having his own room, instead of sleeping in a dormitory room with twenty other boys, even if that is directly connected to the fact that his own room is built around the Seer's in order to hide it and protect it better. In other words, the Seer's bedroom is not visible from the outside – its three windows all overlook a beautiful internal garden – and is only accessible through Leo's room. The idea behind this arrangement is that to get to the Seer, a possible attacker would have to go through the Sanctuary's army first – which is already an impossible task in itself, because they are the best soldiers of the country – and then through Leo, who's been trained to kill and who swore to give his life protecting the Seer. After that, the attacker should find the entrance to the hidden room, which has been designed to be impossible to find unless you know exactly where to look. It's like sleeping in a box with a false bottom, really.
Leo enters his room and closes the door behind himself. He undresses and leaves a path of discarded clothes on the way to the bathroom. He's not supposed to enjoy the privileges he has as a guardian – because their only purpose is to make him better suited to do his job – but it's hard not to enjoy a long hot shower, when he's got actual time for it. And he's a little ahead of his schedule, so he does.
He's still in the shower when he hears the light knock at the door. He tells the servant to come in, and he listens to his soft steps – They're all trained to move quietly and never speak unless is required – as he puts down his and the Seer's breakfast. When Leo comes out of the bathroom, the servant is gone, and so are the clothes he left on the floor. On the table in the little lounge corner across is bed there are two different trays. Leo looks at them as he rubs his hair dry. They are supposed to eat two different kinds of breakfast.
The Seer's tray is filled with polished food. The ripest fruit, the best pastries, milk, chocolate, a selection of the tastiest cheese, eggs, sausages and so on. Leo's usual tray only includes some strong coffee, a plate of egg and bacon – absolutely delicious, but an amount so dramatically inadequate that he would starve after two hours if he should rely on it – and sometimes bread and jam. Not bad, of course, his soldier brothers would kill for it, probably, but there's room for improvement. In fact, he knows perfectly well that the Seer only eats sweet food in the morning, he hates eggs and he's got a love-hate relationship with fruit, that he only ingests if pleaded and cooed. So he proceeds to make one tray from the two in front of him, moving the food around from one plate to another. After that, he puts on some fresh uniform and presses the right buttons on the wall, opening the panel that hides the entrance to the Seer's room.
The Seer's bedroom is rounded with the bed taking up half the space. Leo knows it by heart, so he has no problem finding the table and placing the tray there, before moving in the dark to the three windows. He pulls open the heavy curtains, letting the sunlight in. Suddenly, the room seems to come alive as the light hits the white canvas hanging from the bed and hiding the Seer's sleeping form. Almost everything is white in here.
Leo feels him stir between the sheets and smiles.
He approaches the bed and moves the canvas aside, looking at him for a moment. He's been waking him up for the entirety of his life, he should be used to the sight, and yet every morning he looks down at him in the bed and thinks that there's nothing more beautiful than the boy sleeping right there in front of him. Cody – this is the Seer's name, the one he's never supposed to use – is three years older than him, but he looks no more than fourteen. His youngish body and pale skin give him a delicate, strongly feminine, look. With his black hair and blue eyes, he's got Leo's same color scheme, but they couldn't be more different. Leo's beauty is all angles and sharp lines, and despite being unquestionably handsome, he lacks Cody's gift to turn the most innocent of looks in something else. Or maybe, that's just Leo being impure, something he should be reflecting on and never does, because it's a scary thought and one he can't resist anyway.
Cody has always been like that, heavenly-looking with a touch of something Leo can't (or doesn't want to) put a name on. Not that Leo noticed these details right away, of course. He was too young to notice things like that, and honestly, Cody was too young to show them. He was a kid too, after all.
In the beginning, they were just friends. In fact, when Leo arrived at the Sanctuary, he was barely able to hold his tiny training sword in his hand, so he was more a companion for the young Seer than a guardian. Another man, his trainer, was temporary covering the position at the time, protecting the Seer and Leo as he was teaching Leo how to do the job. Leo found out only years later that his trainer was the actual guardian of the previous Seer, but the man never wanted to speak of it. He trained Leo thoroughly for ten years, and then left the Sanctuary when Leo was fourteen, officially leaving the place to Leo in doing so.
In that moment, pretty much everything changed. Or at least, that's when Leo can trace back the start of a completely different relationship between them. Being suddenly responsible for every aspect of Cody's life made him extremely protective, which was actually supposed to happen. He was dedicated, affectionate, diligent, absolutely perfect. But being so close to Cody, having to perform tasks he had never done alone – like bathing him or dressing him – made him aware of Cody's body in a way he wasn't before. He made him aware of his own body in a way he wasn't before. It was hard – and still is – to be close to him, because it would make him anxious. Touching him was not a simple act among the millions he would have to do every day anymore. Touching Cody was thrilling, and the fact that it was thrilling made it disastrous. He wasn't supposed to enjoy Cody's presence in the way he was enjoying it, with his body mainly.
The first few months he realized he wanted Cody that way were pure torture. He had no guideline to follow to deal with his own desires. His trainer had talked to him about the matter too vaguely and when he was too young to understand what his trainer meant with lustful attitudes. The only thing he wanted to do with Cody at that time was spending time with him, because it was infinitely more relaxing and more fun than run twenty miles or work out. In the Sanctuary's policy impure thoughts and impure actions were just two prohibitions without the knowledge of them. Leo knew he couldn't have impure thoughts and do impure actions, whatever they were. He had just supposed that, not knowing what they were, he couldn't have done them. And that was probably the whole idea behind his trainer's vague education on the matter.
But it didn't work that well. Leo's desires grew stronger and stronger, fueled by the sense of closeness between him and Cody. And Cody became every day more desirable, even if he did nothing to be so. It was just the way he was, or the way Leo saw him. It wasn't clear, and it didn't even matter anymore because the disaster was inevitable. They shared their first kiss one night. Cody was upset by one of his visions. The man who came to the Sanctuary asking to know his future was going to die an horrible death, and Cody had to tell him, on top of having actually seen what was going to happen. Ferocity and blood always scared him, reducing him to a trembling mess. Leo had picked him up from the floor and brought him to his bedroom. By the time they reached it, Cody was sobbing as he would have never done in front of the monks or the man, who surely had more serious problems now. Leo had hugged him and cuddled him to make him calm down. He wasn't supposed to – every touch that wasn't functional to get him ready for his work was prohibited, comforting was not, for reasons that appeared instantly clear a few moments later, among Leo's tasks – but what else could he do? Ignore him while he was bowling his eyes out, scared and horrified?
It was their proximity, for sure. It was having him in his arms, feeling him leaning against his chest. It was being able to run his fingers along the skin of Cody's arm left naked by his robe that made Leo lose control for good. He leaned in and kissed him, but when he was expecting rejection, being pushed away or even a scream, he felt Cody respond, as confused but eager as he himself was. And just like that they had broken a rule.
They don't talk much about that kiss – or about those that followed – because speaking out loud about it is dangerous, and also makes it too real. They both know they shouldn't do it, but neither of them really want to stop, so they avoid everything that would force them to reason on it too much. This is how it is, this is what we want, they think, we just have to be careful. Careful because a simple kiss leads to making out and making out leads to touching, and now Leo struggles to take his hands away from his body every time they are together. Kissing is good, but it doesn't quench his desire as it did before, he would like to touch more, to feel more. He knows he would like to be inside him, since the moment when, during one of their making out sessions, he managed to slid between Cody's white thighs, and it was heaven. He still remember the intense moan Cody let out on his tongue when the hips collided.
But he can't have him. Cody's powers come from his virginity, so he can't be touched. In fact, they're risking enough as it is, because they're both eager and eager every day and they don't know exactly what is the line they can't cross. And if Cody were to lose his powers, the monks would know what happened, and they would know it was Leo. For the Guardian, it would be death. Leo doesn't know what would be of Cody, but even if he were just thrown out of the Sanctuary, Cody is born here and has no one outside these walls, so what could he do alone in the world?
“Are you having a vision?” Cody's voice is sleepy and amused, and it gently breaks the spell Leo apparently was under.
Leo shakes his head, realizing he was staring at him but he was lost in thoughts, so he didn't see he was waking up. “I was just looking at you,” he mumbles, blushing a little. But then he smiles. “So, yes, you can say I was having one.”
Cody chuckles, and then covers his face with his hands. “Don't say that!”
“Why? I've sworn to always say the truth, remember?” Leo asks. Cody can feel him leaning closer, but instead of the kiss he was waiting for – shamefully as it can be – the bed shakes when Leo lands next to him. For some reason it makes him happy not feeling embarrassed by it.
“But some truth you don't share!” Cody protests, but his voice behind the screen of his hands sounds playful. Leo lets out a little sound, something like a purr from his throat, something that makes Cody shiver.
“Only because some truths are as clear as the light of day,” Leo says, finally kissing his cheek. And then he whispers, “Let me see your face, I've been waiting all night to see it.”
Cody chuckles again. Leo's words always embarrass him and make him want to comply at the same time. He lowers his hands, revealing his big blue eyes and his blushing cheeks. “Haven't you been sleeping then?”
“Yes,” Leo nods, his face so close that Cody can smell his blackberry shampoo. Leo never sleeps with him, but this is the smell Cody always wakes up to. “But I've been dreaming of you.”
“And what was I doing?” Cody asks.
Leo smirks, his mouth twisting at the angles in a way that makes Cody squirm. “That, I can't tell,” he says. “It wouldn't be proper talking.”
It takes Cody a few seconds to realize what those words mean, and he turns so red that Leo can't help but laugh. That was exactly the reaction Leo was hoping for. He leans in and kisses him, lingering on his lips long enough for Cody to respond. When he does, Leo deepens the kiss, leading it slowly to something more intimate, touching Cody's tongue just barely at first, almost asking permission, before exploring his mouth. When Cody parts from him to catch his breath, Leo captures his lips once more, pulling at them, dragging him in another kiss and then another.
Cody moans, his fingers lost in the mane of curls that is Leo's hair, pulling him down, closer and closer as if he couldn't stand one inch between them, but when he feels Leo shifting, moving closer and over him, he forces himself to open his eyes again. “Leo,” he calls him, between kisses, trying to distract him and yet being inevitably dragged into the next kiss. “Leo, we should stop. We have a long day ahead of us.”
Leo would like to ignore those words, keep kissing him and face the rest of that long day in bed with him, but he knows he can't. Besides the risks – which are, in the end, the biggest motivation to stop making out with Cody and let him sit up – he's got a job to do, and Cody is expected downstairs in an hour. They have to move. He sighs and slowly sits back on the bed, the effort it takes him clearly visible on his face. It gives him pain – real, physical, ready-to-break him pain – and he's suffering. Cody can understand. He knows he's fighting with a kind of longing that he only feels for Leo and that is definitely the hardest to keep at bay. Sometimes it's even harder to shake off than a particularly strong vision.
“I...” Leo clears his throat, his hair is a mess. It's never quiet tidy, but right now his curls don't make any sense at all. “I brought you breakfast.”
Cody follows him with his eyes as Leo retrieves the tray from the table. “Did you have it already?” He asks, a tinge of disappointment in his voice. He got used to have breakfast with him at this point. It's a little rule-breaking in itself, and yet it's innocent enough not to be scary. And it's something theirs.
“No, of course, we can have it together,” Leo answers. His voice is a little off and he's lingering around the table a little longer than he should, avoiding to look directly at him. Cody doesn't get offended, he knows Leo needs time to calm down, and he waits patiently.
When Leo finally finds the strength to go back to the bed bringing the tray, Cody is sitting up, propped against the pillows. He's smiling peacefully, his lips just pink again and his face relaxed. “What did they send me today?”
Leo puts the tray between them. “Let's see, a lot of fruit,” he says, knowing that Cody will make a face. “And I can see the future too, today. You are going to eat some of it.”
Cody whines, but he doesn't complain. What he does, tho, is purposely searching only for strawberries in the bowls. Leo sighs, but he'll have to settle with that. It's still more than he thought he would get. He pours Cody his chocolate and pushes the plate of pastries towards him, making it clink with Cody's saucer. When Cody looks up, Leo smiles at him, and the moment is perfect, despite everything.
The plan is to wait until Cody will come of age – it won't be long now – and he'll be free to leave the Sanctuary, according to the Law. They will leave together, then, and make a life for their own.
They only have to hold on. And in mornings like this, when they can say a million things with one shared look, everything seems possible and just a step away.