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One look, dark room, meant just for you.
I watch him from afar, his head thrown back as he laughs at a joke that Cas made. My eyes study him, taking in his soft pouty lips, green eyes, and the dark blond hair. Dean Winchester – the other half of the hunter duo and also my best friend, whom I'm hopelessly in love with.
‘’You should tell him.’’, the voice of Sam broke me out of my thoughts. I let out a noise which was meant to be a laugh but rather sounded more like a pained wince. ‘’I don’t know what you are talking about.’’ Sam, with his beer in his hand, takes a sip as he looks at me with a raised eyebrow. Words weren’t needed in that moment; he had the annoying ability to look right through someone, as if they were an open book. As always, I ignored the truth behind Sam’s words and leaned back into my chair, trying my hardest not to think about the way Dean’s eyes light up whenever he laughs.
No proof, not much, but you saw enough.
‘’I bought you a coffee’’, Dean said as he got back into the Impala, turning around and handing me a warm cup in the backseat. I thank him with a smile, which he returns. The drive continued, and as I held the cup of coffee in my hands, taking careful sips from it so that I don’t slip any of it. At that moment my head was plagued with one thought - He added the exact amount of milk and sugar that I prefer , but I don’t remember telling him. Moments like these made me believe that Sam was right and that Dean was in love with me as much as I was with him. He likes to put on the show of the tough hunter, but we all know that he cares for the people around him more than himself. He remembers details of his loved ones that not even I do.
No proof, one touch, but you felt enough .
‘’You will be okay’’, I try to nod, but my breaths come out swallowed, Dean’s words ringing in my head. The hunt hasn’t gone as expected, which led me into having a panic attack with Dean sitting in front of me, trying his utter best to help me calm down. ‘’Focus on my voice’’, all I managed was to nod for a second time, feeling exhausted from the hunt and the current mental state that I found myself in. But I did what he said, pushing my fear away and focussing on his hoarse voice, which was unusually wobbly. ‘’Everything is fine, Sam took care of it. It can’t hurt you’’, Dean’s rough hands found mine; he gave them a squeeze, bringing me back into the moment. I feel how the panic slowly but steadily leaves my body. ‘’I’m sorry’’, Dean shakes his head at my apology, his hand moving from my hands towards a piece of hair that fell into my face, moving it behind my ear. It was as though he realised what he was doing and withdrew his hand quickly. ‘’Never apologise for that’’, his emerald green eyes found mine. A look of understanding passed between us.
It was a stormy night, the rain drumming against the cheap motel window. The motel that we were currently staying in was almost fully booked, which led us to sharing rooms with each other. Sam took the room at the other end of the hallway, leaving Dean and me in the other one. Sharing a room with Dean was nothing out of the ordinary; we have done it countless of times, but this night felt different. My gaze was focused on the ceiling ahead of me as I clinged the thin bed sheets to my body, listening to the soft sounds of the storm which was raging outside. Dean’s snores are heard from the other bed, taking up all of my thoughts. I slowly started to drift off to sleep using his low snores as a lullaby, but I was startled awake by the sudden voice of Dean’s. His body turned towards mine, looking at me, ‘’You are my best friend’’ – that sudden confession of his made my heart almost leap out of my chest. My mouth dry, unable to speak as if my body were paralyzed, I wet my lips. ‘’You are my best friend too, Dean’’, the room was too dark for me to make out his face, but I could have sworn that I noticed a slight smirk on his lips.
And you knew what it was, he is in love.
While waiting for the rain to stop, we got comfortable in the Impala. Sitting next to Dean was almost as soothing as listening to the gentle sound of rain on the car's roof. He was currently rambling about a shitty TV show that he picked up on during our many motel visits. Dean swore that he wasn’t interested in them, but here he was passionately telling me about every detail. Our lives were chaotic; he always had to take care of everyone around him, never daring to reveal a glimpse of the real him, which is why I cherished moments like these the most. Dean was able to be himself, even if it just was in the inside of his most cherished possession on a rainy October night. His words came to a halt as he noticed my gaze on him, my eyes soft and full of love. ‘’What?’’ he asked me, his gaze reflecting mine. ‘’I love you, Dean’’, I confessed, unable to hold it in any longer. My heart was pounding; I feared rejection, but Dean answered with the smile of his that I loved so much, ‘’I love you, too’’.
And that’s when I knew,
I am in love, true love, I am in love.