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Nix paced from one end of her room to the other, muttering to herself. She had been this for at least half an hour, since she had come back home from school. She had decided to finally come clean to her parents and reveal something that she had been struggling with for a few weeks now. On her way home she was filled with confidence and determination. She would stand in front of her parents and proudly make her announcement.
And then she came home.
And nerves overtook her.
Hence why she was pacing around her room, almost chewing off one her fingers.
“I mean, there no way they’d be mad, right? I mean, nah. Not my parents. I mean, they love Aunties V and Lizzy. No, it’ll be fine.” Nix said to herself, bringing herself to smile confidently …before it faded to a worried grimace. “But what if they don’t? What if they hate me for it? What if-“
“Dude, you’re going to blow a fuse like that!” a voice called out, making Nix jump in surprise.
Nix took a deep breath and turned to her desk, where her phone still connected to Avery – her honorary cousin and the one person she trusted who had gone through something similar. Which is why she had called them, yet somehow that little event had completely evaded her mind while she was nervously talking to herself. She walked over to her desk and picked up her phone. “Sorry, Avery, forgot you were here …so to speak.”
“Uh-huh, I had that feeling, miss talks-to-herself-a-lot.” Nix could practically hear the shit-eating grin that Avery had on their face right now. The thought made her feel a little better. “Honestly, Nixie, just get it out. Better to throw it all in the open, than to let it bottle up inside where it can build up and burst. Trust me on that.”
“Uh, the way I remember, Ave, is that your moms were walking in on us while you were trying out some of Aunt Liz’s old school uniforms.” Anne chuckled. “And you were making so many panicking excuses that you suddenly just blurted out the truth. There was no ‘build up and burst’ with you.”
“My point exactly!” Avery shouted. “And after a good cry and a long talk, everything worked out between us. Just like -*snap* - that!.”
“Still totally different than what I’m gonna do.” Nix flopped down on her bed, staring at her ceiling. “You got caught – you did, don’t deny it – and it worked out. What if-?”
“It will work out!” Avery repeated themselves. “Nix, your parents are, like, totally the nicest people I know – and I’m counting my mom V with that.”
Nix chuckled. “Yeah …can you still believe people saying that she was so much worse back when?”
“I still don’t believe she was a Disassembly Drone at all. My mellow, librarian mom …like that? Right, no way. It’s like- yatatata, don’t change the subject!.” Avery scolded – they sounded so much like V right now.
“It was worth a try …” Nix grinned. Her audio receptors picked up the sounds of doors closing outside her room. She took a deep breath. “Mom and dad are here. Wish me luck, Avery.”
“Luck!”
Nix ended the call. She closed her eyes for a few moments as she gathered her courage.
“Nix, you here, Sparkplug?” She heard her father call out to her from their living room.
“Y-yeah, in my room!” Nix answered, hoping she really didn’t sound as nervous as she thought how nervous she sounded. She took a deep, final – hopefully not that final – breath and walked out her room. “Hey, I’ve got something to tell y-“
The rest of her words got caught in her throat as she immediately felt her confidence fade when she saw her mother laying down on the couch with her head resting on N’s lap and the latter pressing an icepack against his wife’s forehead. “E-everything alright, mom?”
Uzi let out a soft groan. “Yeah, just …a [parental advisory] day at work.”
“Uzi.” N scolded, despite the grin tugging on his lips.
“What, her censor routines are still powered on.” she paused for a moment before she threw a glance at her teenage daughter. “Are they?”
“Y-yes, sure …” Now they were, at least. Nix had figured out a long time ago where those hidden settings were in her programming. Little trick that Avery had taught her, so they could watch R-rated action movies with unfiltered audio when their parents were out.
“Good girl.” Uzi closed her eyes again, smiling contently as N caressed her hair. “You said you wanted to tell us something, Nix?”
Panic welled up in Nix’s core. “I-it can wait.” She winced when she heard her voice crack in such an obvious way and of course her parents had heard it too. She tried to back away as she saw her mother sit up straight, giving her that motherly ‘something-is-wrong’ look. “I’ll just go back to my room and-“
“Nicole…” N spoke up, his voice soft and calm but it made Nix nevertheless freeze in her tracks, her entire body going rigid as she let out a surprised squeak.
“Nix, what’s the matter?” Uzi asked, clearly concerned about her daughter’s current state.
“N-nothing.” Nix fiddled with her fingers.
“Did something happen at school?” N asked.
“No, honestly.” Why did she sound so desperate to avoid this? Okay, maybe she was kinda trying to avoid it, but … She squeaked again when she suddenly saw her mother right in front of her. Her mother could be so fast when she wanted to be. A pair of hands gently held her arms.
“Nix?”
It was like a heavy weight had nestled inside her forehead, as Nix couldn’t bare herself to lift up her head to watch her mother in the eye.
“Honey, did something happen?” Uzi asked softly. “Did someone hurt you?”
Nix shook her head. “It’s …” Her voice sounded so weak, she hated it.
N ushered Uzi and Nix to come back to the couch, where Uzi gently sat her daughter down while she and N knelt in front of her.
N placed a hand under Nix’s chin and gently lifted it up, making her look at them. Nix didn’t know why but his gently smile always had such a soothing effect on her. She couldn’t help but to smile …but just a bit.
“Oh, I do think I see a little smile under all that gloom.” N joked, chuckling as his wife shoved him in the ribs.
“Nix, your dad’s horrible jokes aside,“ she threw her husband a teasing sideways glance. “We just want to know what is bothering you.”
“W-why would anything bothering me?” Nix asked, playing nervously with her hair.
“You’re playing with your hair.” N pointed out. “You do that when you’re nervous.”
“Like when you were lying when you got an F on your homework because your forgot it.” Uzi added. She crossed her arms, giving her daughter a stern look. “Is this something like that?”
“No …it’s …completely different.” Nix admitted. “It’s just …difficult to find the words?”
“Just that?” N asked, placing a hand on Nix’s knee. “It looks like a bit more than ‘not finding words’, though….”
Nix knew they were gonna grill her until they got answers. She knew they did it because they loved her and they wanted her to be okay, but …no, no ‘but’. Because of that, she needed to tell them the truth. They did everything for her and for that, Nix needed to be honest with them.
“Okay, okay …” Nix took a deep breath, slowly releasing it as she tried to steady her core, so it wouldn’t feel like it was going to burst out of her chassis at any moment. “There is something I need to tell you, but …”
“Yes?” Uzi pressed softly, trying her utmost best not to push beyond Nix’s comfort level. She knew – out of personal experience – how a teenager could lash out when pressed beyond their limit of comfort. Robo-God knows that her dad had faced the brunt of her anger so often …completely justified, of course
“I …I’m scared.” Nix confessed.
“Scared?” Uzi asked, surprised. “Of what?”
“Of us?” N asked.
“Of how you’ll react …”
Uzi and N looked at each other, before turning back to Nix. Uzi held her child’s hands between her own. “React to what, Nix?”
No turning back now. Time to come clean. The curtain falls. The code cracked. The teenager running out of expressions to use to stall for time. One final, deep breath.
“For the last …couple of months, I’ve been …noticing things. Noticing certain …people. Certain …g-genders?” Nix began. Something in her core jumped when she saw her parents’ expression change, even though she couldn’t decipher what emotion it was. “I noticed that I’ve been looking at the girls in my class a little more, a little longer. And when I realized that was happening, I decided to look some things up, got a few digi-books recommended I should read. And, you know, once I remembered that I never really looked at boys that same way, I ….”
She gulped, trying to find out her voice again while she was figuring out what her parents were thinking. Maybe they wanted to say something about what she’d been telling them so far?
…
No? Okay, back to speaking, then.
Nix took a deep breath. Her entire body was tingling, and she felt like her system was going to shut down. “I …I like girls. Really like them. Like …I’m attracted to them. Romantically. I’m often fantasizing about holding hands with girls, kissing girls, dating girls. I-I-I…I’m gay. I’m a lesbian.”
Nix figured that that knot inside her stomach should have loosened up by now, but it felt tighter than ever. She couldn’t feel her legs. She was sure that she was mere moments away from passing out due to stress related energy loss.
Why weren’t her parents saying something?
They were just staring at her?
Processing the information? Judging? Trying to figure out if they really heard what they just heard?
“W-well?” Nix voice was barely audible.
She felt her core jump when N suddenly stood up and walked away from the couch, hand pressed against his mouth. Was he in shock? Getting angry? Was he disappointed in his only daughter?
A pair of hands fell on Nix’s shoulders, making her jump. Oh yeah, her mom was still her too. Uzi was gazing down at the floor, her expression hidden from the anxiety-riddled teenager. She wanted to call out to her mom, but it seemed that Nix’s voice abandoned her at the moment, only coming out as a barely audible squeak.
“Nicole Doorman …I can’t believe you’d do this to me.”
Nix’s core sank and ice filled her entire being.
“I can’t believe you made me lose the bet.”
Wait, what?
A small, slightly apologetic grin, appeared on Uzi’s lips. “I mean, I thought that, at least, you’d be bi, like me.” She sighed. “But it seems your father had it at the right end and now he’s never going let me live it down.”
“Uzi, when did our daughter ever show any sort of interest in boys?” N asked, as he turned towards his wife and daughter with a massive grin on his face.
“There was …” Uzi paused. “Well, I guess that doesn’t really count, since that person is going by ‘she’ and ‘Sally May’ now, but –“
“Excuse me!” Nix called out, announcing that she was still in the room. “Very surprised and very emotional adolescent Drone sitting here!”
“Oh honey …” Uzi caressed her daughter’s cheek. “I’m sorry. We should be handling this a little better, shouldn’t we?”
“Yeah, you got that right!” Nix’s emotion were all over the place. Confusion. Anger. Relief. Many others. She took a deep breath before stating her question. Which was, very simply: “You knew?”
“We didn’t ‘know it’ know it, but we had our suspicions.” N confessed.
“HOW?” Nix suddenly realized the bombshell her mother had dropped earlier. “Wait, you’re bi, mom?”
“Not really the topic at hand, isn’t it?” Uzi quickly stated, blushing softly and ignoring the teasing chuckle of her husband. Uzi took her daughter’s hands in her own, giving them a soft squeeze. “Nix, our little Sparkplug, we …are your parents. You are your daughter. We know you. We notice things, even if you don’t realize we’re looking.”
“But that book titled ‘Your robo-sexuality and you. A quest for LGBTQIA+ understanding’ you forgot to put away and was laying in the middle of your bed, gave us some clues as well. You really should clean up your room more often.” N confessed with a soft chuckle. “But even without it, we had a feeling.”
Nix’s eyes hollowed. They found that book? She was sure that she had …hang on, not the pressing issue. “So, why didn’t you say anything?” she asked, still blushing.
Uzi cackled for a moment, before she composed herself. “Sorry about laughing like that, but …we thought that ’Honey, can we have a really awkward talk around the diner table about your unlocking sexuality?’ wasn’t really something you were waiting for.”
“So we waited for you.” N smiled reassuringly at Nix. “Until you were ready to come to us.”
“Honey, we are so proud of you, for coming out to us, despite being so anxious and so scared.”
“Yeah, we kinda pressed on the issue there, but-“ he grinned sheepishly when Uzi shot him a scolding look. “Shutting up. But, like Uzi said, we are so proud of you.”
“And we love you.” Uzi held her daughter’s head between her hands. “No matter who you decide you love.”
Flabbergasted. Stumped. Surprised. Baffled. Dazed. Perplexed. Puzzled. Dumbfounded. Flustered. Stupefied. Awestruck. Floored. There were so many words for what Nix was experiencing right now. All of that fear and anxiety she had been feeling. All the buildup leading to her coming-out moment. For days, she had been working up the courage to confess to her parents. Out of all the reactions that her parents could give her …’we had a feeling’ was one she didn’t count for.
It was …laughable.
A snort escaped her. She tried to apologize, but then a giggle got out, followed by another. She tried to keep it in, but she suddenly bursted out in laughter …for a few moments, before it slowly changed into a sob …then another sob. She started crying, wailing as digital tears started to flow down her visor when the emotions that she had been experiencing these last few moments finally found release.
Two pair of arms wrapped around her, each pulling her close. Her dad was stroking her back, holding her head against his chest. Her mom was stroking her hair while whispering words of comfort to her.
“’m s’rry.” Nix tried to choke out, gasping for air – despite not really needing it – and trying to calm herself down.
“Shhh, let it out, Nix.” Uzi whispered warmly, as she gently pulled her daughter against her chest. She couldn’t help but smile as Nix clung to her clothes, sobbing out her apologies. A tear was forming in her eyes as well.
“Our strong girl.” N stated softly but with pride in his voice. The grin on his face made Uzi think back on their wedding day. It was the same goofy, happy smile back then too.
Nix didn’t know how much time had passed. It felt like she had been crying for hours, even though she she figured that it hadn't even been half an hour. Her sobbing had died down to small hiccups, her head still resting comfortably on her mother’s lap while the latter was stroking her daughter’s hair.
“Are you feeling better, Nix?” Uzi asked when Nix finally found the energy to sit up again.
“Mm-hmmm.” Nix rubbed her visor. Her eyes felt dry, even though it's not really possible. She took a deep breath and smiled at her mom. “sorry for breaking down like that.”
“Honey, never apologize for things like that. Never to us.” Uzi stated, caressing her daughter’s cheek. It didn't show, but Uzi had been crying as well, as did N. “It was an emotional rollercoaster, after all.”
“Besides, you should’ve seen Uzi’s outburst when we-“
“Bite me, husband!” Uzi spat out but the grin on her face betrayed that she didn’t mind. She turned to Nix with a grin. “So …is there someone special?”
Nix instantly blushed, playing with a strand of her hair. “N-no …not really.”
“Oh?” N almost seemed disappointed. “No-one I can give a ‘what are your intentions with my daughter?’ speech to yet?”
“I thought there was, but …turns out she doesn’t – how did Avery put it? – play for the same team.”
“Wait, you told Avery before us?” Uzi asked, a hint of a teasing grin playing on her lips. “I don’t know how to feel about that.”
“Avery is kinda an expert – or the closest thing to it – on the subject of ‘life-changing realizations and how to present them to your parents’, y’know.”
“Some expert.” Uzi snorted. “Did V and Lizzy walk in on them?”
“Yeah, while you two were trying on dresses?”
“That’s what I told them, too.” Nix giggled. Her expression turned bittersweet. “But …I don’t know, it felt like they were the only ones I could go with this, quote-unquote, “problem” of mine. We’ve always been each other’s confidants, y’know?”
“Did V and Lizzy know before us?” Uzi asked sharply.
“Avery swore she wouldn’t tell before I told you guys, but, eh …you know how Auntie V can get when she sniffs a secret.”
“Well, if V knows, she’d keep it a secret, too.” N stated as he ruffled Nix’s hair, much to her chagrin. He scratched the side of his chin before adding. “Robo-Lord knows she knows how to keep ‘em.”
“Huh? What does that mean?” Nix cocked her head in confusion, while Uzi threw N a warning glare.
“Uh, nothing.” N quickly answered, as digital beads of sweat ran down his visor. “Something between the three of us.”
Nix rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
“Well, someone is back to being a moody teenager.” Uzi grinned. “Feeling better?”
“Feeling great!” Nix stated cheerfully, and it couldn’t be more true.it was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt like she could fly – if only she had inherited wings like her dad, but at least she could dream.
Nix grinned as she thought about the advice that Avery had given her. Who knew they were right, although in a different order: A good talk, a long cry and everything worked out great.
*SNAP*
Just like that.