Chapter Text
Tong Yao should be studying.
She had just started her last year of university. And while she had fewer classes, they were much more involved.
But she couldn’t handle it anymore. She needed a mental break.
Gaming it was.
She logged into her account and waited to be paired with teammates that were also Challenger rank. She decided against streaming this time so she didn’t have to split her attention and worry about presenting for others. She wanted pure escapism. She knew she would have to stream soon because ~money~ but she would worry about that another day.
Her computer dinged, notifying her that she made it into a match. She didn’t get her preferred position of mid, but ADC was fun to play too, as long as the mid was actually good.
Within minutes, Tong Yao knew it was going to be a good match. Her support was supporting and the mid was exceptional. The chat was actually helpful and no one was lagging behind. The majority of the team was also Chinese despite being on the Korean server.
As the match progressed, she became more and more impressed by the mid. It was someone with the ID of Brightside. They pulled moves that even she would be hard pressed to execute well.
After the match ended, she contemplated adding Brightside so they could play together again. It was rare to enjoy a match as much as she had. The downside was that they were both mids so someone would always have to play their second choice position if they were to play together. She hadn’t come to a decision yet when she got a request and a message from Brightside.
Brightside: That was excellent! Would you like to play another match together?
Tong Yao quickly accepted the request before turning to the message.
Smiling: You were brilliant! I would definitely be down to play again. A heads up though. I’m also a mid. ADC was my second choice.
Brightside: No worries. I think I’ve seen your stream before and thought you might be a mid. I can also be jungler.
Brightside: We could switch off?
Smiling: Works for me!
They played two more matches that night before Tong Yao had to get off and work on some school work.
From that point on, they tried to play a couple matches together every week. Every time they played, they dominated. They were both exceptional mids. Brightside was a little bit better at being jungler than Tong Yao was at being ADC but that didn’t stop them from being an amazing team.
She started streaming their matches and even her fans remarked on their incredible teamwork and chemistry. It wasn’t long before people started shipping them together. Something Tong Yao never really understood. They were just two people that played online that haven’t even seen each other’s faces - so why be shipped?
The more they played, the more Tong Yao learned about Brightside and the more she opened up to him in turn.
Sometimes they would talk about how they got into gaming (Smiling - ex boyfriend, Brightside - best friend) or the etymology of their IDs (Smiling - ex-ADC she admires, Brightside - sucker for the song Mr. Brightside), or their daily lives.
Sometimes their conversations were lighthearted. Sometimes they were deep.
Brightside: why don’t you turn on your camera when you stream? Or are you actually a guy like those haters claim??
Smiling: I don’t know if a guy could understand but I would rather people question my gender then spend every moment of my stream and interactions with watchers defending my looks or dodging questions about my love life or worrying about potential stalkers. I feel safer and freer because no one knows what I look like.
Smiling: There aren’t a lot of female gamers and the ones that do exist in the public eye are generally not respected.
Brightside: I can understand that. I wish you didn’t have to consider that though. Why stream at all then?
Smiling: Simple - money. I do earn some money by streaming. I could earn more if I showed my face but my privacy outweighs my need for money.
Brightside: Does that mean you would never want to go pro? Because that would force you to be in the public eye?
Smiling: Ha! Pro? I don’t think any of the Chinese teams would invite a girl to play on their team. But I also want to finish my degree before I would even really consider something like that. I could probably be persuaded to join a team but it would be difficult. Both because of the scrutiny of the fans and public and because of having to be the only girl in a very male dominated field. There would be physical safety, public image, reputation, and so much more to worry about.
Brightside: I can’t imagine. You would have a lot to consider before ever making a decision like that. I know that professional games can be hit or miss but there are some really good guys out there.
Smiling: Yeah, but I doubt that is ever something I would have to seriously consider anyway.
Smiling: What about you? You are definitely good enough to go pro. Have you ever been invited to try out for a team?
Brightside: Ah….. well. Can I trust you to keep a secret?
Smiling: of course!
Brightside: This is actually my alt account. And…well…. I actually am a pro. Surprise.
Tong Yao was shocked by this revelation. He seemed so down to earth. And how was he playing so often on his alt? Was he on a good team? How many times has she actually seen him play?
Smiling: ….are you serious? You aren’t pulling my leg right now, are you? If you are, that would be so rude.
Brightside: 100% serious. I play mid for a team here in China.
Smiling: OMG. No wonder you are so good! What is your main ID? What team do you play for? Have I seen you play before? Wait. Are you on a regulation team or like a team team. How good is your team??? How long have you been pro?
Brightside: haha alright, alright calm down. I’m not ready to reveal my team just yet. We are a team team, as you put it. We do pretty well for ourselves. And I’ve been pro for several years now. If you watch LPL tournaments, you have seen me play.
Smiling: Oh.
Smiling: wow
Smiling: I think I’m star struck.
Smiling: ….
Smiling: It’s ok if you don’t want to reveal your team just yet, but can you tell me if you AREN’T on CK? I just. I don’t think…
Smiling: Hm. How do I put this? I have an unfortunate tie to CK. You can ignore this question, I guess, but it would be really comforting to know you aren’t on team CK.
Brightside: I promise I am not on CK.
Smiling: oh thank goodness
Brightside: Can I ask what your ‘unfortunate tie’ to them is?
Smiling: You know how I said my ex-boyfriend taught me how to play? Well…..
Brightside: No way! Is it Luck? Or Sunflower? Or Butterfly??
Smiling: You have your secrets and I have mine. Anyway, I’m glad you aren’t from CK lol. That would have been awkward.
Tong Yao didn’t really know anything about Jian Yang’s teammates but she was glad to keep some space between her and the whole team of CK.
Smiling: Now I’m going to have to really restrain myself from watching the tournaments and trying to figure out which pro plays like my Brightside.
Brightside: I appreciate your restraint.
Smiling: You’re welcome.
—————
Tong Yao told Brightside that she wouldn’t try to figure out who he was and she would try her hardest to keep that promise.
However, it was really difficult to uphold her word when her entire degree was dependent on analyzing data from the LPL. She spent hours and hours looking at and studying footage from all of the teams in the LPL. She was trying hard to think of Brightside as a player on his own and definitely not as an alt for one Ming god from ZGDX.
Frankly, she couldn’t believe she didn’t realize it earlier that they were one and the same. She had just thought that Brightside was trying to emulate Ming’s play style. After all, Ming was one of the best mids in the league. He was a staple. One of the og members of ZGDX.
She kept playing with him several times a week and never let on that she knew who he was. This went on for months. Eventually, Tong Yao was able to separate Brightside and Ming again and treat them as two different people.
They were able to keep up their easy camaraderie, despite Tong Yao truly being awestruck that she got to play with someone as good as Ming as often as she got to.
Things were going well. Her research was progressing, playing LoL gave her true enjoyment, she had made a new friend, and life was pretty good.
Until she started to notice some new and slower patterns of playing in both Brightside and Ming. At first she thought he might be having an off day or week. But when it went on for a couple of weeks, she couldn’t keep her concern to herself any longer.
Smiling: Are you ok?
Brightside: Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?
Smiling: 12:50. You died when I know you had an item that would have protected you.
Brightside: Ah. I’m just a bit tired. Sorry for slipping up. We still won though.
Smiling: You don’t have to be sorry to me. I’m not mad or anything. I’m just worried. You know that wasn’t the first time you weren’t quick enough. Are you injured?
Brightside: Is it really that obvious?
Smiling: Hm. Have I ever told you what I was studying at university? What my thesis is on?
Brightside: Statistics?… Data Analytics? Something like that. I don’t think you’ve talked about your thesis though.
Smilling: Yeah, I’m doing Statistics with an emphasis in Sports Statistics. I’m actually the first at my university with this emphasis to take it the esports route.
Brightside: oh.
Smiling: My thesis focuses primarily on response time and the non-obvious things that affect it.
Brightside: …..oh.
Smiling: I can tell it’s more than tired. I can tell it’s not just an off day. Ming, it’s been going on for a few weeks now. Are you ok?
Brightside: Ming?
Smiling: Ah, shit. I assume you are Ming. I tried to not notice similarities between Brightside and ZGDX’s Ming but I spend an un-godly number of hours studying matches from the LPL and the players I focus on the most are mids (for obvious reasons). There was no way I couldn’t realize you were Ming. Play style, strategies, response speed, etc. They were all basically the same. I’m sorry.
Brightside: We’ve been playing for 8 months. I can understand how you would realize who I am. I am shocked though that it took this long for you to slip.
Smiling: Frankly, I am too. Now. No more trying to change the subject.
There was a longer pause than normal. Tong Yao employed every ounce of patience in her body to remain quiet and not pester Ming for more information.
Eventually….
Brightside: I don’t know if you saw it in the news, but my wrist was injured a couple of months before that first match we played together. It had healed well, but it suddenly took a turn for the worst last month. I can still play but not for nearly as long or as quickly as I could before. We also don’t have an alternate that plays at our level, so I keep playing in training and in tournament, without a real break.
Smiling: Fuck. I’m so sorry. How bad is it? Like, will it get better if you did get a break? Or….
Brightside: I’ll need to get surgery on it and the recovery time isn’t short. Soon, my competitive playing days will be done, but I should be able to resume fairly normal function after the surgery and after I recover. It’s unlikely that my speed and response time will ever be on par with how I had been playing though.
Smiling: That sucks. That sucks so much. I’m glad you’ll have normal function again but I’m gutted for you - you’re basically forced to retire.
She felt like her heart was breaking. So much of his life revolved on playing LoL. To suddenly lose that must be devastating. Like losing an essential part of yourself.
Brightside: Yeah…. I’m trying to get used to it, but it’s been a bit rough.
Brightside: Again, this is a secret, but I think I will be able to stay on at ZGDX as a coach. I think being able to coach would make the transition out of professional playing so much easier. I can still be attached to the team, be apart of everything, and with everyone.
Brightside: I think that will be really important in my recovery. To be with everyone. We’ve kinda become like a lil family.
Smiling: No one, and I mean no one, would blame you for struggling with the future or the looming transition. You are human, not a robot. It is only natural to feel anything you are feeling. If at any point, you find it’s becoming to much or need someone to talk to about it all, I’m here.
Smiling: That’s amazing that coaching is a possibility. It’s like you being able to take back your future. You get to decide when you are actually out of the game and not your wrist deciding. I’m glad you’ve got a good team at your side. From what I’ve heard about some other teams, you’ve got it good with yours.
Smiling: Is there anything I can do for you? Obviously, I’m no medical professional, but I can sign up to send daily cat pictures to keep your spirits up.
Brightside: While Da Bing is adorable, that’s ok. I don’t think I’m at the point that I need daily cat pictures. There is something you could do though…..
Smiling: ????
Brightside: It’s been a while since we talked about it, but how are you feeling now about playing LoL professionally? You’re almost done with your degree, right?
Smiling: Ah.
Smiling: ….
Smiling: It’s true. I am almost done. I’m sooo close to graduating. And I don’t currently have a job lined up.
Smiling: But I don’t know about joining a team. Also, I don’t actually know that much about your teammates, but I can only imagine how having a girl would affect them. Would anyone want the added scrutiny of adding a girl?
Brightside: I can’t speak for other teams, but…
Brightside: As you might have guessed, I am looking for a mid to replace me. I picked half the players for our team and I’m a pretty good judge of player, if I do say so myself.
Brightside: I know your play style, champion pool, and thought process pretty well by this point. I think you would be good for our team. I know you don’t have any experience playing on a professional team, but that is the easiest part to teach. Innate skill? You got that in spades. I can’t teach that.
Brightside: As for the worry about you being a girl, it’s all about handling the media. Cheng ge is actually pretty good at doing that. We are all used to being overly praised or unduly torn apart by fans. A good player is worth any amount of additional attention and scrutiny.
Brightside: So. Can you think about it? I can offer 800,000 RMB a year? Please. Think about it?
Brightside: The spring finals are coming up soon. Even with my wrist as it is, we are pretty sure we will make it. Want to come out and watch us play? That might help in making a decision.
Tong Yao didn’t respond right away. She really liked Ming. He was easy to talk to, good at strategizing, and an excellent teammate. She really felt for him. It must be so difficult to push through the pain and keep playing. Especially knowing this was the end for him. She really wanted to say yes. Yes to going out, yes to playing for ZGDX, all of it. But it wasn’t that easy. Is playing professionally something she wanted to do? Could she handle being in the public eye? Could she handle the criticism, the adoration, the weight of people’s expectations?
Could she handle seeing Jian Yang? Playing against him?
Smiling: I will think about it, but that’s all I can promise. When do I need to let you know by?
Brightside: Well, a final decision by the spring finals. But if you could tell me you are seriously considering it before than, that’d be great.
Smiling: Alight, alright. I’m getting off. I have a lot of thinking to do.
Tong Yao leaned back in her chair. She stared up at the ceiling.
Would it be worth it?
It would be amazing to be able to make a living doing what she loved. And she would be able to use her degree to help her prepare for matches. But being under the microscope of the media and fans was no small matter. They could be cruel and ruthless. Tong Yao knew that the ZGDX guys largely stayed out of the limelight, but that wouldn’t be an option if a girl joined the team. The media would focus on her for sure. There would be those that were just purely curious but there would be others who would love nothing more than to tear her down simply because she was a woman in a traditionally male sphere.
So many hated to see progress or equality.
Tong Yao didn’t know if she was strong enough to handle all of that. She had her own struggles with mental health. And she already had drama with other players in the league. What would the media do if they found out that Jian Yang was her ex?
Additionally, could she handle the pressure of playing professionally? Could she handle the weight of people’s expectations? Could she preform live, in front of such a large audience?
Tong Yao tried to be confident in her own abilities but she wasn’t confident in everyone else treating her as she should be treated.
—————
Tong Yao logged in the next day to see that Brightside was also on. She had no doubt he was just waiting to hear more from her. Eagerly waiting for a positive word from her about joining ZGDX.
She might as well jump right into it.
Smiling: Even if I did want to play professionally, why should it be with ZGDX?
Brightside: Are you asking me to do a sales pitch?
Smiling: Obviously.
Brightside: Oh, man. I haven’t prepared for this.
Smiling: Wing it. Tell me what is great about your team, what are the downsides, what are your teammates like. You know. Just everything.
Smiling: A small ask, right?
Brightside: Ok. I will try. It might take some time to type it all out though. Be Patient.
Brightside: Let’s start with what is good about the team. Specifically, leadership and management. So the Lu family are the primary shareholders for ZGDX. Our team is well funded and taken care of as a result. It’s also nice because there is a direct player to management link, aka Cheng ge, and he can, generally, keep them in line and ensure they don’t ask too much of us.
Brightside: The team manager, Xiao Rui, tries his best. He’s actually pretty young to be the sole manager, but he does try to understand us and do the most for us. He perhaps doesn’t always stand up for us like he should and is sometimes a little clueless socially, but Cheng ge helps keep him in line.
Brightside: Hm. I did not flatter Xiao Rui with that. He does his job and is an asset to the team.
Brightside: Probably the best part is Cheng ge, Lu Sicheng, Mr. Chessman himself. He is a good captain. He has good leadership skills both in game and out of the game. I wouldn’t say he is the glue that holds the team together but he is the glue that keeps us successful….if that makes sense. He has impeccable discernment and timing. He’s also crazy smart. Not gonna lie, he is also cold and standoffish but he’s good at what he does. He also does genuinely care. He might not show it often but he does want the best for us players.
Brightside: As for the coach - well I’m fabulous.
Brightside: Teammates - Little Fatty - he is a good support. He has good map awareness and is dependable - unless you are playing duos with him. He WILL screw you over if you plan on playing duos with him. He is good natured and friendly. Always down for a midnight snack. Never heard him interact with a girl sooooo I’m not sure how he acts around them.
Brightside: Old Cat - steady, unflappable top laner. Could get along with a rock. Closest with K. Likes to exercise. Treats literally everyone the same so there should be no issue there about you being a girl.
Brightside: Old K - Generally closed off. Never mean, just sticks to himself. Into skin care. Will share his face masks with you. A little sassy. Once you get to know him, fierce ally.
Brightside: We already talked about Cheng ge.
Brightside: wait - let me scroll up and see what else you asked.
Brightside: oh downsides. Ummmmm. Well, we are a strong team. Which means everyone is looking at us, wanting to take us down, or looking up to us for help. Can be a lot of pressure.
Brightside: I cannot think of anything else. Do you have any questions?
Smiling: Thank you for that. Are you sure you’re up for more questions? How are your fingers feeling?
Brightside: I can type this much just fine, thank you very much. Now hit me with your questions.
Smiling: If I were to join, what would the team do to ensure my safety?
Brightside: What do you mean? We have a security guard and live in a gated community so the base is pretty safe. There also are security guards at the arena where we play. Like that sort of stuff?
Smiling: No…I mean … me more specifically. Like…from fans that hate me for being a woman that plays with Cheng ge, or any of the other guys. From hate from fans or media because I’m a woman. From players that don’t take kindly to loosing to a woman. From people that like me too much simply cause I’m a woman. Honestly, even from my teammates, if needed. I don’t think you are bad guys but I’m just me and I’d have to go out to live in a single house (albeit a big one) surrounded by guys that I don’t really know. There are players from team A and B, managers, stafff, coaches. I’d be vulnerable there and at the arena. Is there some way to guarantee gender equality and protection?
Smiling: I don’t… I don’t want to cause a ruckus but I also don’t want to be left fending for myself.
Smiling: You probably think I’m being ridiculous right now. I know I seem like an over thinker or like I’m exaggerating the potential danger. But…I don’t think I am.
Smiling: In my degree, there are many more male students and professors than there are women. But there are still women. And shit still goes down. There is blatant misogyny. Women being passed over for opportunities. Subtle comments about women’s place in society. A disregard for safety. If that can all happen when I’m not alone, what could happen when I am?
Brightside: Oh shit. No, of course you would be worried about that. All of that. I don’t blame you for being worried at all. It’s totally valid. And to be honest, I don’t have the answer for you right now. Do you mind if I show this to Xiao Rui? Maybe even Cheng ge. Maybe there are parameters we could put in place at the management level…. I don’t know. But can I get back to you?
Brightside: WAIT! Actually, do you have an idea? A solution? Or something you were hoping I would say?
Smiling: I don’t know what all is possible, but what about a liaison? You know how in films they are starting to have intimacy coordinators? Maybe someone like that, but … you know… for me?
Brightside: That is a good place to start. I promise that we will figure this out before sending you anything official. Also, can you add me on WeChat? It seems silly for me to sit here waiting for you to log in?
Smiling: Is it safe?
Smiling: Just kidding. Here is my number.
After exchanging numbers, Tong Yao logged off and pulled up her mostly written thesis. While she stared at the blinking cursor, she felt ….hope.