Chapter Text
My heart,
You will never read this letter. If you are reading this letter, it will be due to circumstances I cannot even begin to imagine right now.
I do not intend for anyone to read this letter. Not even myself. I am merely writing to try and sort out the jumbled mess that is my thoughts. However, I have never understood the appeal of writing to no one. That is why this letter is addressed to you.
Ma vhenan. My heart. Perhaps I no longer have the right to call you that, but the fact remains that it is the truth of the matter. While festivities are still going on downstairs, I find I cannot join the others in their rejoicing, for my heart is elsewhere. You are elsewhere.
You did not even say farewell.
The following couple of paragraphs have been scratched out to the point of illegibility.
And you have not even given me the answers you promised. Is that why you left? Did you not want to answer my questions, for once? Well, Dread Wolf take your answers. Dread Wolf take my damned questions. I could live without them, if it meant I could still have you by my side, even as a friend.
Or were you planning on leaving all along? If so, you should have told me. Or did you think I would not have let you go? Did I unwittingly force you into a relationship you did not want? Did I give you no way to refuse? It was not my intention, but it is a possibility. You are just an apostate and I am the a word has been scratched out here.
I am plagued by many questions and doubts, and you could have answered or assuaged some of them. Why did you choose not to, my love? The only answer to that question that I can think of is that you did not trust me. Did not trust me with your answers, did not trust me to let you leave, did not trust me to be an honest person.
Relationships are supposed to be built on trust. This means that the entire foundation of our relationship is a lie. Our relationship was a lie, even if you claim otherwise.
I am angry. Whether my anger is aimed at you or at myself, I cannot figure out. I feel like, by all rights, I should hate you. I wish that I could hate you; it would make everything easier. I wish I could forget you.
Yet you, my heart, shall forever remain in mine.
The bottom of the letter has been torn off, erasing the writer’s name.