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How could anyone describe what it was to be dead, and then, not? How could anyone put into words the fear, the icy chill of the blood when you realize that the thread of life inside the body had been cut, and then, somehow, it's pulled and tied again? The intake of breath after the lungs had been forcefully stopped, like being underwater and drowning?
Seiya couldn’t. Coming into consciousness from being dead was a traumatizing experience, to say the least. Her insides were burning, but her skin was crawling with cold sweat. All she could manage in the few first moments of living again was to brace herself tightly, her arms around her stomach protectively, warding off the outside world.
But what outside? Last Seiya remembered was being Star Fighter, making the ultimate sacrifice for Sailor Moon to live, to succeed, instead of herself, (all along, Moon was the one Fighter had been meant to replace). Last thing Seiya saw was the horrified look on her friend’s face as she tried her best to smile and be encouraging, fueled by pure trust in Usagi.
Now everything was cold around her. Seiya trembled by the ache on her body, shaken by spasms of pain. She didn’t understand how could she be alive, feeling this torture, when moments ago, she wasn’t. Had it been only moments ago? Had it been years or eons?
The cauldron took her star-seed and cradled it with devotion.
Seiya couldn’t remember the in-between, but she was certain she’d been reduced to stardust. Galaxia’s attack had been relentless, striking the core of their bodies. Seiya and her sisters had met the same destiny, equally hopeful in embracing it.
Were they in the same state as her? Was this, on the contrary, afterlife? This cold crawling around, this burning inside, this complete fear?
There was no sound, only light, a blinding light that hurt her retina when she tried to look. Seiya crumbled, swaying in another wave of pain. She tightened the hold on her middle section. Not breathing, or breathing too fast, she couldn’t tell. Too harmful for her lungs.
Seiya wasn’t sure how much time passed like that, in pain and disoriented. Until.
Until something touched her shoulder, featherlike. She moved towards the warm, welcoming it like the antidote to all her body aches. The touch became more solid, more tangible. The hurt, the pain, fading almost immediately as Seiya sat up enough. She gasped a breath of relief. A hand was touching her, real skin, a real someone.
The hand held her by the shoulder, a consistency, a steady presence, and when it momentarily went away, Seiya whimpered, hurt by the loss. A soft 'shhh' lulled her ears. It soothed Seiya. Then, not one, but two hands came to hold her trembling body. She realized then that she wasn’t wearing any clothes, not her fuku nor civilian clothes. It didn’t really matter. Seiya let herself collapse into the warmth of the body holding her, into the sweetness of the smell the other body emanated. Warm skin against her cold one. Seiya’s ear came to rest on the chest of this person, above the ribcage, where the heart thrummed like a hummingbird. This person’s voice was humming in her head, a voice she knew too well, etched in her own heart.
“You are alright, you are alive,” the voice was saying, chanting. “Everybody is alive.”
Seiya knew the voice, the pitch tone. She’d recognize it anywhere. It was her friend’s. It was the voice of the love Seiya had come to grow like an unstoppable summer rain, the girl she trusted with her life and her death.
The blinding light had subdued outside her eyelids so Seiya opened her eyes a bit, with some tremor at first. It didn’t hurt this time to look at the light. She was held by tiny, strong arms as her own arms were still around the stomach. Seiya’s legs were bent up from when she’d tried to make herself as small as she could. Blond hair was everywhere, curling around both their bodies as Usagi held her, but the most impressive thing were the wings spread around them like a butterfly cocoon, coming from Usagi.
Usagi, wide-eyed as she repeated softly “you are alive, we’re all alive,” as naked as Seiya had suspected. She might have blushed if it wasn’t because it was the antithesis of intimacy.
But, yes. It was somehow intimate, because Usagi was shielding her from the pain, from the outside, holding her alive, but it wasn’t anything like Seiya’s childish dreams. Usagi, in shock, but a protector.
One of Usagi’s hands slid to Seiya’s cheek as they moved to face each other. Usagi’s lip made an O of silent mumbling. Then she actually said, “You are alright,” and “thank you”, and, suddenly frowning, like an afterthought, even a bit angry, “Why did you do it?” she whispered, frowning.
Seiya frowned too, confused. She had her own concerns right now. Seiya wanted to ask questions too. Such as were they both dead, or were they both alive? She figured it was the last, given the nature of Usagi’s anger.
Seiya found her voice, raspier than she expected. “Are we really alive?” she needed confirmation.
Something marvelous happened. Usagi’s frown was immediately washed away, like the smile spreading on those lips was strong enough to whisk it away, not stopping there but melting into a laughter, a bubbling, happy laughter which sounded like chirping birds at four A.M. Usagi nodded, tears in her eyes as she laughed and smiled and held Seiya tightly. Resting their foreheads together, “yes, we are alive. Everyone is safe.”
Seiya’s breath hitched.
That meant Kakyuu was out there, waiting for her. And Yaten and Taiki, even after she saw them die. Usagi’s friends and family too. Seiya had a million questions but then Usagi’s eyes fluttered shut, the head swaying a bit so their lips came closer than ever had been, the one breathing in the other’s mouth. If Seiya inched only a bit forward she could fall into a warm oasis, but she didn't. She moved the head so she could trace the movement of Usagi’s enormous wings with her eyes. They were totally separated from the world, the butterfly cocoon tightly shut around them.
Seiya was sure Usagi had finally fallen from tiredness, when a soft “I’m so glad that you are alive, Seiya,” came from the girl in her arms. Seiya’s hands finally undid the tight hold around her own stomach to hold Usagi. “I dont know what I’d do if you didnt” she heard her add.
Gently, Seiya inched apart. Usagi’s body was giving in, losing the adrenalina as her head slid towards Seiya’s shoulder. She was too fragile in her arms.
Surely people were awakening too, outside of their nest. Surely they’d start looking for their savior and friend, lover. Seiya knew this moment, this infinitesimal instant of theirs, might end any second now. She held Usagi’s form tightly and lulled her to sleep, mumbling nagareboshi he under her breath. The wings, after a while, started to recede, disappearing feather to feather until there were just the both of them, naked and holding each other in the skirts of a new world to come.