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The simple admission catches you both offguard, spills out into the dim silence of Jamil's bedroom like moonlight.
You look up from your lap to meet his gaze in the mirror. He's partway through fixing your hair into two braids, with the first completed one resting over your left shoulder. You can faintly detect the lingering fragrance of the hair oil that he applied beforehand.
"I'm sorry?" Your pulse thrums erratic in your ribcage.
He clears his throat, but it does little to diminish the embarrassment in his voice. "Please forget I said that."
"No, no I didn't mean to—I like being around you too...!" You turn to face him properly but he puts a stop to that action with a free hand planted atop your head, keeping your gaze pointed towards the mirror.
"Let—let me finish first."
"...okay." And you keep your head still, your nerves hyperaware of his touch and each gentle tug as he continues the braid.
"I didn't mean to let that slip out, but I've been thinking about...this for a while now."
Of course, there wasn't any denying the fact that the two of you were in some kind of relationship, something deeper than friends but not as exclusive as boyfriend and girlfriend. Nevermind marriage, that was completely out of the question. Yet even something as amorphous as soulmates has crossed your mind more than once.
"And I realized that this hasn't—that I haven't—been fair to you. Especially if I keep being careless."
Maybe that was part of the problem, that until this point, the both of you were careful not to disturb what you'd kept unspoken. That you merely followed his lead, folding yourself neatly along the boundaries that guided his life. That you left yourselves susceptible to moments of sudden openness.
"So you don't have to keep playing along, I'll understand."
With a final twist of the hair band, his fingertips brush against your shoulders before pulling away.
Before he moves out of reach, your hand closes around his. "Jamil"
His expression is one of practiced calmness, but there's a tinge of vulnerability in his irises that tears at you. "Yes?"
"Never put words into my mouth again." And you grab him by the front of his shirt to pull him in for a kiss to punctuate that statement. If he got the wrong idea from that, well.