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One week before their wedding, Barty makes the golden question again.
"What about kids?"
They were lying in bed with Barty's head on Evan's lap, his fingers caressing his scalp while they went through the last things they needed to fix before the wedding.
Barty knew he wanted a wedding in the summer, close to the ocean and in Mediterranean Europe. They went through a lot of locals the summer before to choose a place and the answer was easy enough, a small villa in Mallorca, Spain. They're flying there four days before their wedding, to accommodate all of the guests and explore the city a bit.
Maybe they should've talked about this before, way before, but Barty realized he was quite scared of what Evan would say.
It's not that Barty suddenly got a baby fever or dreamed about becoming a father, it's just that he has a lot of alone time, which is good and now Barty can enjoy it without feeling lonely, but with his free schedule, he started to wonder how it would be. If he could dedicate his time to someone else, a little kid around their flat, someone for Barty to take care of and raise. He knows kids are not pets, raising a kid is a big deal, it's a real commitment and the scariest thing ever. Kids grow up and become teenagers, then adults, and every little failure can have a big impact on their lives forever. But Barty kind of wants that. He wants something good that can be his and Evan's. Someone who can be the combination of their love and someone they can offer a home to.
"What about them?" Evan asks lightly.
"Do you want them? Have you managed to get the answer to that yet?"
"Have you?"
"You know I have," he tells him.
Evan says nothing for a while, lost in his thoughts while still fumbling his fingers on Barty's hair. It still amazes him how in just a few days, Evan will be his husband. He's more anxious about getting to the wedding than nervous about it. He has known he wanted to marry Evan for years now, and the idea of finally doing it makes him giddy.
"Would you be too disappointed if I told you I don't want it?"
"Not too disappointed," he says carefully. "But maybe I'll be a little sad, yes. And I'll want to know why."
"Sometimes I do think I'd want that," he reveals. "But others… I don't know, sweetheart, it's a big thing. And how would we have one? I don't enjoy the idea of paying someone to generate a baby for us just because we have money to pay for them, and the adoption system could take years. Can you do that without getting sick with sadness and losing your hope? Years waiting for a kid that might never show up?"
"The world is big, and I agree with you, using money to use a body for our happiness doesn't seem right, but we have enough money to try to adopt a kid in every country. We can travel, put applications everywhere, I don't know."
"But will you be fine with taking a kid out of their country, their culture?" He asks again, always thinking about everything else.
"I will do my best to try to learn. To travel with them to show them the countries they were born in. Anything."
Evan paused again, looking at Barty with soft eyes like he just knew how much he wanted that, how Barty started to wish for something else. He's not greedy, he would be fine without a kid of their own and be forever happy with just Evan, but if they could have a kid, just one, Barty would be happier.
"I'm afraid of being too much like my father," Evan confesses. "Or my mother. And the idea makes me want to reject being a father myself. You would be perfect, I can already see it in the future, and the image makes me want to say yes, but the possibility of not being as good as you makes me want to say no. I don't want to traumatize a kid. I don't know if I can't be that soft or attentive, not like you can."
"Where is this coming from?" Barty frowns. "Rosie, you'd be the best dad in the world. You're so caring to those you love, so fiercely protective and kind. There's nothing of your parents in you, you've to know that."
Evan has a heart of gold. Once he cares about you, he truly cares about you. He would make the world stop just to ease your pain and there's nothing he wouldn't try to fix to make things better. He grew up without love, but he was always good at making people feel loved. At caring about them.
"Not that we're aware of," he reminds him.
"Stop it," he tells him. Orders, even. "You're not them, you won't ever be like them. Your fears are valid, but they're just fears. Self-sabotaging voices. And you shouldn't listen to them."
"How much do you want?" He asks, though he looked like he already knew the answer.
"I can just picture it, you know?" He says softly, looking at Evan. "Us, carrying a kid to our trips, teaching them all we know and loving something of us. A part of me and a part of you. It feels sacrilege to have a love like yours and not share it with someone else. With a kid."
"Can you really picture it?"
"Yes," he nods. "I'm sure we will make some mistakes because we're not perfect, but we could be great parents."
Evan looked at him, soft and quiet, commiting Barty's face to the memory even if he already knows every little shape of Barty. He often tells Barty he's his favorite art piece, and when Evan looks at him like that, Barty does feel like one.
"Yes," he eventually says. "With you, is always a yes."
"Yeah?" He whispers hopefully, wanting Evan to want this as well, not only because of Barty. It should be something they both want.
"Yeah," he answers. "It's scary to think about it, but I want it with you."
"You'll be a great dad, Rosie," he promises him, like he already knew how this would end. "You'll see."
Evan said nothing, but he didn't need to, Barty could feel it in his heart that it was only a matter of time before they could have it all. A family to call his, theirs.
After they married, Evan and Barty started to search for everything they could about adoption. They talked with Evan's lawyer, with his mom who knew how things worked as a social worker and everyone they could search for opinions and advice. Evan wanted everything to work smoothly, he didn't want to miss anything.
Only when they did, did they put in an application to get to the adoption list, In the whole Britain and Spain.
Now they only needed to wait.
Waiting was the worst part. No matter how Barty tried to reassure himself this things took time, he wanted an answer. He wanted to know how many years until he got something. He didn't care who the kid would be, how old and from where. He just wanted one. One he could love, could take care of and be a father for.
He was never good at waiting, at being patient, and the more the time flew without a word about how things were working, the more Barty started to get apprehensive.
He then realized that waiting was a nightmare and the unsureness of it all was horrible. Evan was more collected than he was, waiting for him wasn't so bad and Barty thinks it helped him to have time to get used to the idea of being a dad. There's nothing else they could've done other than waiting.
So it was all they did.
Waited.
Waited.
And waited.
They waited for a whole year.
They were working when Barty got the call. Barty wasn't working much, he was just fixing the contract Evan needed for the end of the week, something he had learned to do with the time working with him. He picked it up without checking the ID.
"Hello?" He says promptly.
"Bartemius Crouch-Rosier?" A woman's voice asks, tinted with a heavy accent.
"Yes?" His heart started to fasten inside of his chest. "Who is this?"
"My name is Carina Gonzalez from the adoption department in Spain," she answers.
"Oh," he mutters with head spinning. "We can talk in Spanish if you like it better." Evan lifted his head quickly, staring at Barty with too many questions.
"That would be nice," she says amusedly. "You and your husband applied for adoption a year ago, correct? Evan Rosier?"
"Yes, that's correct," he manages to answer, feeling his throat dry and hopes starting to grow.
"Well, we found a match for you," she tells him. "We'd like to have a meeting with you before you can meet her." Her. Her, her, her. "It says here you live in England, can you make it here on Friday?"
"Yes," he answers promptly. "Of course."
"Good, so…" And then she started to explain to Barty how this first encounter is, where they would send the information to him and how it's the process. Barty listened to everything with heart beating strongly and blood pumping in his ears.
When she hung up, he was so dizzy he thought he could faint. It was a mix of excitement, hope and fear altogether.
Evan was by his side in a matter of seconds. Holding him and looking frantic for answers.
"What? What it happened?"
"They found a match for us," he says in a choked voice. "A girl, she's two. They said we can meet her on Friday, we can make it, right?"
He knew Evan had a meeting, but he could cancel. She can be their daughter, they need to go.
"Of course," he nods. "Of course, sweetheart."
He nodded back, breaking into a happy, surprised laugh.
Realistically, Barty can't know if it will work. That they have no idea how the future will play out. But he waited too long already and he refuses to be realistic about this, he will choose to hope.
"Her name is Alicia," Liliana, the woman who's taking care of them and accompanying the encounter between them and Alicia, told them in rapid spanish. "She's two, but will be three in a few months. She's used to foster care," she said. "Her biological mother had an on and off relationship with addiction, so she lost the guardianship of her when she was still an infant. The government gave her custody back after the mother got clean when she was one, but she relapsed and officially put her to adoption a few months ago." Barty's heart pangs, sad for a little girl he hasn't even met yet. "She never had stability in her life," she explained, "But she's a very bright and chatty kid. She doesn't deal well with being alone, though. Cries a lot when adults leave her alone and clings to anyone who's taking care of her."
Barty squeezes Evan's hand, feeling oddly connected to Alicia already. He knows how it feels, to hate being alone and clinging to everyone who stays. Barty had an entire life of this, but knowing a toddler can feel that way it's borderline cruel.
James works with kids in the adoptive system, and he tells them stories about the kids he teaches and how they can suffer a lot of trauma from a very young age, but to know it happens to toddlers and infants as well it's painful enough.
"Did she have another couple before us wanting to adopt her?" Evan asks her, his Spanish is much more fluent now.
"No," she shakes her head. "As I said before, she never had stability. It's, unfortunately, easier to have young kids adopted at her age, and the pairing works better with newly married couples. Adoption it's also about matching the right people, and according to your physiological test, we're hoping this will work."
He never thought adoption would have so many layers.
"Can we meet her? It's there something we shouldn't do?" Barty questions her.
"Try not promising her anything on the first try or talking about adopting her," she recommended. "She won't understand fully, but it's best to not make promises." Because she's already used to having them broken.
"We can do that," Evan replied.
She then takes them to a playroom, with colorful wallpaper and toys scattered around. Barty sees a mop of brown curly hair and his heart stops, his hands get clammy and he feels nervous. Wanting to say all the right things and avoid doing something wrong.
He wants this so bad, for him, for Evan. He has so much love to share and he wants this to work. To not end this with a broken heart.
She opens the door of the playroom and her head lifts. She's sitting on the floor with a polka dot onesie and pink shoes. Barty is probably already biased but she's a very cute and pretty kid. With big brown doe eyes, chubby cheeks and curly hair that's already too much.
Alicia is curious about them, he can tell, looking from Evan to Barty repeatedly like she can't know for sure what to make of them. Barty is squeezing Evan's hand so hard that he fears he might break a bone.
She's not scared or wary of them, she looks curious, like she can't possibly know what they're here for.
"Go on," Liliana says softly, urging them to get in. Once they do, she walks to Alicia with a kind smile, kneeling on the floor to talk to her. "Hi, Alicia, are you having fun?" She nods. "Do you want to know who they're?" Liliana points to them and Alicia nods once again. Not shy, just confused. "They're friends of mine and they came here to meet you. Do you want to talk to them?" She pauses, looks at them with her big eyes and, slowly, nods. "That's good," Liliana smiles encouragingly. "Come on, then."
Barty and Evan go there in the middle of the room, and he notices she is turning an animal book, one that only has pictures and a button for sounds.
"I'll be just right there," Liliana points to a chair in the room, showing it to Alicia. She nods once more, her favorite form of communication it seems.
She leaves Alicia with them, and Barty gets assaulted with the fear of ruining everything. Evan squeezes his hand, like they're communicating without words, and that's all Barty needs to kneel on the floor as well.
"Hi," he tells her with a smile. "I'm Barty, this is Evan," he points at Evan, who's sitting on the floor and looking at Alicia with a soft expression. "He's my husband. What's your name?"
"Alicia," she replies in a small voice, like she's not sure if she can be loud.
"That's a beautiful name," Evan tells her lightly, also smiling.
Alicia blinks at both of them.
"What are you doing?" Barty asks her.
"The animals," she points at a cow in the book, pressing the button that lets out a moo sound. "Miss Lily gave it to me. I like it."
"You like animals?" Evan asks her softly.
She nods. "Ducks are my favorites," the way she says ducks miss some sounds.
"I like ducks too," Barty agrees. "Do you like cats?"
"Yes!" She replies, delightful. "They say meow," she says proudly.
"We have a cat," Evan tells her. "Would you like to see a picture of her?"
This time, when she nods it's very enthusiastically. Evan chuckles fondly, taking his phone out of his pocket and showing her photos and videos of Angel. She grabs his phone with chubby hands, smiling and giggling at what Evan is showing her and it's such a warm, free sound. Like she already trusts them and likes them. The way only kids can.
"What's the name?" She asks, grammar still a bit off but in a very cute way.
"Angel," Evan replies in english. Then repeats in Spanish for her.
"Ohhh," she widens her eyes. "Angel is funny."
"She is," Barty agrees. "Would you like to keep watching your book?" He points out the open book.
And it's quite marvelous and unique what happens next. She looks at both of them like she's deciding something in her head, and when her eyes land on Barty, he feels funny on the inside. Not knowing her for more than five minutes but already knowing that he'd do anything to make her happy. And Alicia looks at him like she knows that too, like she's trusting them to not leave.
Without answering, she gives her book to Evan, sitting on Barty's lap without a word so Evan can read for her. His heart squeezes and Barty fights back tears. Evan looks at him with knowing eyes as they both come to the same conclusion. She's choosing them, and they're choosing her just the same.
Evan starts reading.
"It's her, Evan," Barty tells him in the hotel room that night. "I feel it in my heart, it's her. She's supposed to be ours."
Evan looks at him softly, with eyes a little scared but hopeful nonetheless. "I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Of this not working and you having your heart broken," he confesses quietly. "There's a lot of legal things from now on, and because we're from another country, anything can go wrong. It's a very delicate process."
"One that will work," he tells him almost too forcefully. "Didn't you feel it too? She chose us."
"I felt it," he nods, agreeing with him. "But we need to be cautious, nothing is—"
"I don't care," he cuts him off. "We have the lawyers, I have a citizenship so this might be useful. Besides that, everything is going to work because it needs to."
Evan looks a little bit hopeless about Barty's attitude, and the thing is, he knows things can go wrong, he read so much about adoption in the past year he thinks he has the facts engraved in his brain already. But he waited a whole year for her, he knows it was for her, and now he refuses to think about how easily he could lose her.
"Don't ruin this for me," he asks Evan.
"I would never," he tells him in honesty. "I felt it too, you know? The second she gave me the book I knew it was her, but I also can't put all of my hope in this. One of us needs to stay strong if something goes wrong, don't you think?"
And it's always going to be Evan. He's always the one who will stay strong when Barty falls apart. Evan rarely lets things affect him, the last time he was bothered about something was when his mom told him she wasn't going to his wedding.
They still talk sometimes, in a very strange way that Barty could never understand. Evan can't cut her out completely, but she also refuses to let go of him, so they talk occasionally, though she still doesn't like Barty. But this is the thing about Evan, he can get upset but he never breaks down.
"You don't have to always carry the burden," Barty tells him softly, his hands reaching to touch him. Feel his skin and warmth. Evan goes willingly, and Barty brushes his thumb on his collarbone. "We're married, we can share the burden sometimes. There's no such thing as one staying strong while the other breaks."
"I love you," is all he says. "And I'm calling my lawyer first thing in the morning. I want to start going through the legal papers as soon as possible."
"Okay," he nods. They're probably going back and forth from Spain for the next few months, but their second encounter with Alicia will be on Monday. "I love you too."
Evan gets soft under his palm, holding Barty's face and kissing him gently.
"You were wrong by the way," Barty mutters against his lips.
"About what?"
"Love at first sight," he tells him. "It's possible. It just happened today."
Because as soon as he saw Alicia, Barty had already fallen in love with her. Her easy smiles, energetic delight and lovely giggles.
He never believed he could be someone soft, someone reliable that could offer comfort. But then she looked at him, she sat on his lap without any questions and Barty felt like he could be that person. He could be someone's source of comfort.
"I think you're right," he agrees. "It is possible."
The next months follow a pattern. Lawyer appointments, trips to Spain and meeting with Alicia.
They became a known face to her and she never shies away from them or distrusts them. They play with her, draw with her and tell her all about their life in London. Evan reads her books and she doesn't have a problem in being touchy with them. She got attached to them, and now every time they need to say goodbye they see her lips wobble and her eyes get filled with tears, but Barty always promises her they're coming back.
They didn't tell the news to anyone other than Barty's mom, Dorcas and Regulus. Too scared of sharing good news that could turn into bad ones.
Regulus asked Barty how he knew he could be a dad, and all Barty told him was that, when she looked at him that day they met, he knew that he couldn't live a life anymore without being her dad.
The legal issues are almost done, and Barty can feel it coming closer and closer the day when Alicia will officially be a Rosier. They can talk about being her parents now, and she seems excited about it. She doesn't know what adoption means and doesn't understand why she can't just be with them all the time, but she understands the concept of being their daughter and she loves it.
It's so easy with kids, Barty thinks. Their emotions are more easy to understand, and Alicia is very vocal about how much she likes them. She gives them drawings and tells them animatedly about her day in a way only kids can. She asks to see photos of Angel and tells them how she wants to be a princess when she grows up. She has a sick fascination with Barty's tattoos and likes to play with Evan's hands and when they need to go, she hugs them and says bye bye.
Barty knows it's a matter of weeks until she can live with them, and he's already decorating her room, thinking about her living with them, telling her stories before she goes to sleep and watching movies with her.
"I'm sick of waiting," Barty tells Evan one night. "I want her here, with us. I want her to meet mom and our friends, to take her shopping and to make her breakfast."
And Evan would say, "I know." Because he does.
They take her to the movies in Spain with Liliana accompanying them to make her notes. They introduce her to Elena and Matiás, since they live in Spain and it's not forbidden, after all they're going to be Alicia's family.
His mom loves her immediately, she sings to her like she used to sing to Barty and makes her paper flowers. She cooks sweets for Alicia and dances with her, smiling from ear to ear with the girl's antics.
And it feels good to picture a life of this. Of people loving Alicia while she laughs happily at the attention she gets whenever she goes. With how cute she's when she's dancing and saying her bye byes and Los los. How she's such a sweet cute kid who's always hugging and kissing them and following them around.
Barty was scared of having a kid once, but now he desperately wants to call Alicia his daughter.
It's a Friday when they get into an airplane to show Alicia their home. Once they get this done, she'll be living with them until the end of the month, when someone will determine if they're fit to have a kid or not. And after that, the adoption papers.
They're all very excited, but Alicia is more than all of them. They were afraid of her being afraid of planes, but she proved herself to be immensely excited to get into one, her face glued to the tiny window as she looked with mouth agape to the sky and said to them: We're all birdies now.
The flight to London it's short, and once they get there Barty shows her everywhere, too happy to care that a toddler won't remember half of what he's saying.
"This is going to be your new home," Evan tells her before opening the door of their flat. "Ready?"
"Yes!" She screams excitedly.
Barty grins, opening the door so they can get it. She takes it all in quickly, looking everywhere like their flat is the most fun she has had in weeks and she wants to touch everything.
"Did you like it?" Barty asks her.
"Angel?" She asks, saying the name in English. They haven't started teaching her English yet, but she often repeats some words, since it's easy for kids this young to learn another language.
"She's hiding," Evan whispers to her. "We'll need to find her."
"Okay!" She replies, like she's already agreeing. "Where?"
"Don't you want to see your room first, cariño?"
"Yes," she nods, quickly forgetting about their cat. "Where?" She repeats.
"We're going to show you," Evan says, walking through the corridor and opening the door with a light sign that says Alicia, with a tiny fairy beside her name.
Her room it's in lavender and cream colors, with tiny flowers on the wallpaper and a white bed with purple comforter and plushies. Barty might have gone a little too crazy with the toys, there's a tiny table with lots of pencils for her to draw, a princess' house and tons of dolls. There's also a little bookshelf with kid's books. Barty wanted to buy a table for tea, but Evan told him to control himself.
Evan puts her on the floor, and she quickly runs to the toys with a happy scream, grabbing everything she can and looking at everything with wide eyes.
"Mine?" She asks, in awe.
"All yours, princess," Evan nods.
"Play with me!" She demands, giving a white bear plushie to Evan and a blue dinosaur to Barty.
Barty and Evan look at each other, but agree immediately. He wouldn't choose to do anything else. He had the best day ever.
Alicia fits perfectly in their life. She wakes up early and watches cartoons, she loves to help Barty to do breakfast and likes to give Evan food in his mouth. She's obsessed with Angel and spends her time hunting her around the flat. She loves bath time, but loves more when Evan brushes her hair and tickles her foot. She hates having her hair tied, but loves tiaras. She doesn't eat broccoli but loves tomatoes. She demands them to read books for her every night before going to sleep and loves to sing, especially pop songs to Evan's disgust.
She loves princesses and girly things but she also likes strange things like scary clowns and old weird cartoons like Billy and Mandy. She's very talkative and creative, naming every single toy of hers and talking alone, sometimes in a language Barty doesn't even think exists. She likes going to the park with Barty and absolutely loves it when Evan takes her to the market because she knows she will get whatever she wants. She's brilliant with their little English classes and starts mixing both languages in one phrase that rarely makes sense.
Barty is so happy he thinks he will explode some day, and he just knows that he loves her. In a way he never loved someone else before. It's pure and scary, it's the softest kind of love, untouched by the bad. Barty sees himself in her and he's so scared that he'll do something that can hurt her. That this tiny human being depends on him now and will grow up in his image.
Being a father is scary but thrilling, a challenge Barty will welcome. He wakes up every day excited to see what they're doing today and he finds himself thinking that maybe he was born for this. Born to be Evan's husband and Alicia's father. They could've waited for years for a kid, but they found Alicia and she found them. It feels like fate, just like the engraved phrase in Barty's wedding band, Bound by fate.
It's a few weeks in when she calls Barty papá for the first time. They're playing a very educational boarding game and she drops a card, so Barty gives it back to her and she says easily "Gracias, papá."
She says it naturally, like it didn't even occur to her to call Barty something else, but he freezes, feeling all emotional and happy. He acts like everything is normal, not wanting to draw attention and make her think she did something wrong. And when she naps in the afternoon, he calls Evan.
"She called me papá," he tells him.
"Yes?" He can hear the smile in his voice.
"Yes," he breathes out. "This is really happening, isn't it?"
"I think so, sweetheart," he agrees.
So it is.
With Evan, it happens when she wants help with grabbing a toy that's too tall for her to reach on her own. He's close to her, so she turns her head and says, "Help, daddy!"
Evan pauses for a beat before grabbing the toy and giving it to her. Not making a fuss about it, but when he looks at Barty, there's such a raw and vulnerable thing on his face that it softens Barty's heart. Evan was so scared of being a bad dad, but Alicia already worships his ground. She loves him, always wanting him around and looking up to him, trying to act like Evan and feeding him. He's so good with her and he doesn't even notice it.
"It's surreal," Evan confesses to him in their bed that night. "That there's someone so fragile and young looking up to me. Like I'm this super, awesome person."
"You are."
"Barty," he says his name like he thinks he's full of shit.
"To me, you are," he repeats. "You're a super, awesome person to me Evan Rosier. And to your daughter too."
Evan kisses him for that.
After a month, a social worker came into their flat with a clipboard. She asks questions, she watches them with a hawkeye, she talks with Alicia and nods, writing things from time to time. When she finishes, she nods to them and goes away.
One week later, they receive the adoption papers and Alicia officially becomes Alicia Rosier, their daughter.
Barty cries. Evan smiles too much. It's a very happy day.
She meets Dorcas and Marlene first. Alicia is not shy about new visitors, she looks at them, they look at her, and she promptly smiles at them and asks if she can play with Marlene's hair. Dorcas falls in love immediately, shares a very emotional and particular look with Evan and proclaims, "I'm the godmother."
To which Evan replies, "Of course you are."
Regulus and James go next.
Regulus is awkward at best and he talks to Alicia like she's a grown-up, which is fun because it makes her pretend she understands whatever he's saying. He's soft with her, in a way Regulus never was. He entertains her rants and reads to her. James gets crazy over her. He plays with her. He picks her up. He brings her new toys and tells her stories.
Regulus says he's having a baby fever watching his fiance with their kid. Evan tells him he's a whore.
"You're the godfather," Barty lets him know.
Regulus pauses. Looks at Barty like he's insane. "I don't know how to talk to children."
"You just did."
"Barty," he shakes his head, too emotional but too scared.
"She's my kid, Regulus," he tells him. "You are the godfather."
"Okay," he ends up saying. "I'm the godfather."
And that's it.
The first time Dorcas takes Alicia to the movies without them, Barty gets restless. He got used to having her all the time, and a stupid part of him was afraid that Alicia would realize aunt Dorcas was cooler than them.
Evan tells him she needs to get used to other people too, but Alicia rarely needs to get used to other people because she's just too used to everyone. She doesn't mind being picked up, she doesn't mind talking to strangers and more than once they heard how much of a delight she is.
When she comes back, she's smiling with her nails done and a huge pink unicorn plushie in her hands. And when Barty asks her how it went, she says, "I missed you, papá."
He never gets scared of her preferring other people.
One particular night, Alicia has a nightmare.
Evan and Barty always leave their door open at night, knowing she can't reach the door knob. She enters their room, sniffing with her favorite plushie, a green frog, under her arm. She calls Evan with a broken voice and they wake up immediately, knowing that something is wrong.
"What's wrong, princess?" He asks her, bringing her to their bed and putting her between them. Barty starts to look for a bruise, but finds nothing.
"Bad dream," she tells them in a small voice, then breaks up crying.
Alicia is not a crier. When she falls, she says an oopsie and forgets all about the pain. She's such a bright, happy kid that's a little disturbing when she cries for real. Barty immediately brings her to his lap to sway her a bit in his arms. Saying softly, it's okay, it's okay, it's over now, until she calms down.
"You're safe here, cariño," he promises her.
She sniffs softly, brushing her tears away with her chubby hands. Evan dries her tears and cleans her snot, brushing her hair gently and calmly.
"Okay, sweet girl?" He asks her.
She nods a bit, opening her hand in Evan's direction so he can give her his hand. She holds him strongly, gripping his hand like it's her own anchor.
"What about hot cocoa?" Barty asks her, not caring if it's late, only caring about her comfort.
"And a story about princesses?" Evan adds.
She nods again, more strongly this time and Barty leaves the room, giving a kiss on her head before going to make her hot cocoa. When he comes back, he stops at the door for a few minutes, amazing himself with the realization that this is his life. Alicia is in Evan's lap while he caresses her back and murmurs sweet nothings to calm her down. He gets overwhelmed by the scene, with the fact that Evan is his husband and Alicia their daughter, that moments like this will happen again and again.
That she'll grow up, go to school, make friends and learn things she has no idea about now.
But for once Barty is not scared. He loves this, his life. He loves that he has such a beautiful, strong relationship with Evan. He loves that they have a kid together and that she loves them, that she trusts them and looks up to them. He loves the life he built for himself and how much he grew, alone and with Evan alike.
"Look, baby," Evan tells her, focusing his eyes on Barty. And even after all this time, he still looks at Barty with the same love and warmth. Such a rare, beautiful thing. "Papá brought you cocoa."
"Come here, papá," she calls him sweetly.
He does, sitting on the bed and giving her the cup in his hand.
She eventually sleeps again, after a story and some cuddles, right in the middle of them, and Barty feels his heart soften with how small she is.
"Hey," Evan calls him when he's staring at her sleep. He lifts his head, looks to the men that belong to him and has his heart. "I love you."
"I love you too," he smiles at him. And this? This will never get old.
Barty gives Alicia a gentle kiss on the forehead and turns the lights off. Sleeping in the bed surrounded by the people he loves. His little family. With a heart full of peace and love.
It's perfect.