Work Text:
Eddie liked his mustache, he really did. After Chris left, after the whole… Kim\Marisol… yeah.
Eddie needed a change. And if that particular choice of facial hair style was inspired by a guy he saw on the cover of a paper that Buck kept on his coffee table then well- it’s between him and God.
Speaking of the guy- he really tried to talk to him. Ask for guidance in the mess of his own creation. He went to mass, listened to the word and half way through it he couldn’t stop looking at the priest’s curls because they kind of reminded him of Buck’s hair. Although Buck’s curls are much more pronounced, especially recently as he stopped drowning his head in product. Eddie is going kind of insane about it but- we are getting off topic.
In simple words the encounter with the priest left him with more questions than answers. Now he not only thinks he is insane for the Kim situation but also slowly coming to terms with the fact that- yes, he did think that priest was hot and yes the priest kinda made him think of his best friend.
So yeah, Eddie might have had a little mental breakdown and impulsively shaved off his depression beard into a mustache because he thought that Buck might like it. Sue him. He is going through it.
But now the mustache has to go. Gerard complimented it and probably thought Eddie is taking inspiration from his racist ass. Which probably wouldn’t bother him so much if he didn’t see the way Buck looked their way when Gerrard was commenting on Eddie's facial hair during the last line up.
So as Eddie sits with Buck on his couch, surrounded by stupid dollar store birthday decorations, right after Buck asks Tommy politely to go home alone and let Buck handle Eddie- he wants nothing more but to cry. But as he goes to rub his hands over his face they slide over the hair above his lips and he can’t stand it anymore.
“I need to shave off this thing.” Eddie groans.
Buck shifts on the couch next to him. He had been quiet ever since Tommy left, only eyeing Eddie, waiting for him to say something or cry or scream or just sit with his best friend in silence as they both stew in the misery of Chris's absence. Judging by the face Buck makes, he didn't expect that line to leave Eddie’s mouth first.
“Why? You said you liked it.” Buck puts his elbow on the head rest of the couch, facing Eddie.
“Did I like it? Or I just told myself I do, so I could justify another stupid decision I made?” Eddie closes his eyes, leaning his head back.
“People make mistakes Eddie.”
“Yeah, but I made my son hate me.”
Buck sighs “He doesn’t hate you. He just needs more time and he will be back with-” us “-you.”
“Buck-”
“You hated me once, after the lawsuit and hey! You came around.” Buck nudges Eddie’s ankle with his foot.
Eddie looks at him, shaking his head. “I never hated you.”
Buck smiles. “See? Chris loves you and doesn’t hate you either. He is just angry- has a good reason for it. Give him time.”
Eddie sighs. How can he wallow in his self-hatred when the sun itself smiles his way?
“I think I need the caterpillar under my nose to transform into a butterfly and fly away anyway.”
“Chim was just joking, you know?”
“I know.” Nods Eddie.
“...and you still want it gone?” If Eddie didn’t know Buck he would say that he looks almost disappointed as he confirms that the time of the mustache has come. “Ok, let’s do this then. I will shave it for you.” Buck says with the same determination that makes his eyes light up and zero in on the task.
“Buck- I think I can handle shaving my own-”
“Let me.’ Buck cuts in although he looks like the words escaped him before he could think this through. “I mean- The mustache shouldn’t go without a proper goodbye. It symbolizes a change in your life! You are pupating! Like larva!” Buck rambles.
Eddie squints at him before huffing with amused laughter. “You are so weird.”
Buck tilts his head. “You didn’t say ‘no’.”
And what can one, simple man do against the puppy eyes of one Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley?
“Fine. Knock yourself off.” Eddie shrugged.
Buck beams and claps his hands.
***
As Buck sits Eddie down on the toilet the intimacy of the simple act of shaving downs on Eddie. Buck rummages through Eddie's toiletries with ease finding what he needs and if this doesn’t make weird feelings bloom in Eddie's chest then he doesn’t know what does.
And as Buck puts some shaving cream on his own hands and turns to face Eddie in the small space of the bathroom, standing between Eddie’s legs, his fingers about to brush over the space above Eddie’s cupid's bow- the same realization seems to sink in.
Buck’s eyes flicker to Eddie’s lips before he clears his throat and attempts to keep his eyes strictly on the thin space below Eddie’s nose. “Ready?”
Eddie hums and his eyes flutter shut as Buck’s fingers make contact with his skin. A strong and capable hand cups his cheek, a hand that is bigger than his own, the hand that he knows better than his own because he held it when his best friend was being crushed by a ladder truck, the hand that he reached for in the moment he believed was going to be his last, the hand that tried to dig through meters of mud to get to him, the hand that feels right.
It’s the hand he wants to kiss gently, let every knuckle be brushed by his chapped lips. It’s the hand that he wants to hold down against his- their bedsheets. It’s the hand he wants to see every morning, in his grasp with a golden ring reflecting the morning sun.
Eddie never thought that this kind of realization is going to hit him while he has a significant portion of his face covered in shaving cream but here he is, feeling like he finally found God in the privacy of his bathroom.
Buck tilts Eddie’s head up as he grabs the razor and with gentleness Eddie feels so unworthy of, starts shaving off the mustache.
The whole time Eddie can’t stop looking at the divine being in front of him. How could he not see this sooner? This is it. This can be his first step to happiness if only Buck allows it.
Buck wipes Eddie's face with a warm, damp towel and Eddie smiles. It’s been some time since he felt so light. Is this how love was supposed to feel all this time?
“All done.” Buck whispers in the small space between them. Like he also feels that the little bubble they created will burst as soon as the quiet of the room gets disturbed.
Eddie puts a hand on Buck's hips and it feels as familiar as putting his hand on Buck’s shoulder, thumb in the dip of his collarbone. Yet it’s thrilling, his palm finding a new way to fit against Buck’s body.
Buck’s breath hitches and he looks… hopeful .
Eddie smiles and Buck smiles back.
“I don’t think I ever wanted you to call Tommy back that night.” Eddie confesses.
“Yeah?”
“Mhm.”
“I don’t think I ever wanted his attention.”
And if Eddie sees Buck lean in slightly and decides to meet him halfway- it’s between him and God. Who knew that God walks down on earth saving people every day without an ounce of miracles. Who knew that talking to God is as easy as calling the first number on his contact list?