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The ocean was quiet, the water was calm and the sky was dark, but on the deck of the albatross, a figure was seated, staring off into the distance.
Chip sighed, putting his head in his hands. It had been one of those nights again, the ones where every time he blinked, the flashing images of tentacles reaching out of a swirling whirlpool, then Arlin falling off of the boat, then finally the flashing images of fire enveloping a building haunted his thoughts. That was where it ended, thankfully, and Chip would open his eyes quickly before it could develop into something worse.
So that’s why he was sitting there, because he couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep, worried if he closed his eyes and even tried, it would consume his thoughts, and he wouldn’t be able to drag himself out of that state this time.
“Chip?” Jay asked, her voice tired and filled with the faint annoyance that it always seemed to carry, “are you gonna come down and sleep, or are you gonna just sit there and mope”
Chip couldn’t even bring himself to feel offended, “yeah I’ll be there in a sec, but, you can just go without me, I’ll be a minute.”
“Alright then, just- just make sure you do end up getting some sleep, alright?” Her voice had a faint aura of concern at the way his voice seemed distant, and the way he didn’t even turn to look at her. Jay squeezed his shoulder comfortingly before turning around and heading down to the Captain’s quarters to meet with Gillion, who had finally powered off for the day and was getting some well needed rest.
But Chip had never left that spot, not for hours. He just sat there, wallowing in self-pity that he knew he didn’t deserve, but he just couldn’t bring himself out of it.
He didn’t even realise that he had been crying until the teardrops made an audible plop , against the water. Their tears came faster and faster, and his eyes became blurry with them, and despite his best efforts, he began to let out strangled sobs, although muffled through his sleeves.
Chip didn’t really know why he was crying, but he was, and he fucking hates it.
His arms crept up his head, fingers intertwining into his hair and pulled. The sharp twinges of pain were grounding, and brought him back to reality, but still he pulled.
Now, his breaths were coming in short pants, and he still couldn’t figure out why . Chip didn’t really have anything to cry about, at least compared to others like Gill and Jay. She just got told that her own family might have called the order for her own sister to be killed! Gillion nearly died . Compared to any of their problems, Chip had nothing to worry about.
He was too wrapped up in his thoughts to hear the slow approach of footsteps behind him until a sturdy hand was placed on his shoulder.
“-ip?”
“Chip?”
“Chip?” The rough voice of Rueben cut through his thoughts, “don’t you want to help out your family?” His hand gestured towards him, and it was then when he realised that he had a curved dagger in his palm.
“Of-of course Rueben, I want to help,” he replied and-
Oh no.
Oh no oh no oh no oh onohonohonh
He knew how this memory ended. He knew how it always ended, and he was here, he couldn’t be, but he was, he was here. Chip couldn’t go back, he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he couldn’t he couldn’t, he couldn’t, he cou-
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“Chip?”
Jay’s hand reared back as if it had touched acid once she had realised that her touch on his shoulder made him freeze up and start breathing even faster, but despite her attempt to ground him, he didn’t seem to hear her, and instead withdrew further into himself, his dull brown eyes staring off into the distance that lay in front of him.
His breath came in short choking sobs, and he started to pull at his hair even more. Chip was muttering something under his breath, and Jay had to really strain her ears to actually be able to hear, even with her strong sense of hearing.
“You shouldn’t be here,” and “I’m sorry,”
“Chip? What are you talking about?” Jay asked, wanting to bring him away from the edge of the boat, but worried that if she did, it would send Chip more into a panic than he already was in.
So she did the next best thing she thought of.
“Chip? Hey Chip, I need you to breathe with me, okay?” Jay said, trying desperately to keep her voice steady, despite her own panic, “breathe in for five, hold, and breathe o-”
She was cut off by Chip’s head snapping up to look at her, his eyes wide and panicked, similar to the ones of a wild animal in a cage. He blinked multiple times, and his eyes cleared up a bit, and finally focused on her.
“...Jay?” He asked softly, his voice cracking.
“Yeah,” she replied.
Chip sniffled, then lunged towards her, and wrapped her into a hug, and that is when the dams broke once more. He sobbed into her chest as she sat and wrapped her arms around him in turn, and they both just sat there.
“What happened?” She asked, resting her chin on the top of his head.
“I- I don’t know,” Chip sobbed, voice muffled by the fabric of her shirt, “I shouldn’t be, I have no reason to be like this, you and Gill are going through much worse things, but I just can’t stop thinking about the hole in the sea, and Arlin, and-” he cut himself off with another sob, squeezing his arms tighter around Jay’s waist.
“Chip,” she replied, her voice sad, “it’s okay to be upset, just because me and Gill are dealing with some stuff, doesn't mean that you can't have your own shit that you're dealing with too. We’re going to the Hole In The Fucking Sea , it’s okay to feel that way.”
Chip didn’t say anything, just kept crying into Jay.
“Jay? Chip?” Gillion’s loud, albeit more quiet than usual voice rang through the air, “what kind of nightly training activities are you guys doing this fine evening?” He stepped out onto the deck, and paused once he saw Chip and Jay on the deck near the railing, “oh-”
He approached the two siblings, and sat down, letting his legs dangling off of the edge of the boat as the faint sounds of Chip’s sobs echoed through the night air.
Once Chip’s sobs eventually died down, he got off Jay, and went to sit down next to Gillion, still sniffling and wiping his eyes. Gill awkwardly wrapped his arm around his shoulder and Chip leaned into the hug. Gillion didn’t really get many social cues, but he didn't ask what had happened, and stayed quiet.
Jay soon followed, sitting on the other side of Chip, and resting her head against his shoulder, letting her fiery red hair cascade down his arm, and watching the ripples of waves splash against the ship.
The three of them eventually fell asleep, and the rest of the Riptide crew eventually found their captains sleeping together, with all of their dreams unhaunted with nightmares for the first time in ages.