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“Get up.”
Izuku looked around with a start. The classroom was in its usual state of disarray with the fall festival right around the corner. Everyone was scrambling to get things done before the deadline.
Needless to say, it wasn’t exactly quiet in the classroom, so it was difficult to tell who just spoke to Izuku. The voice didn’t sound like any of his friends, or anyone he knew for that matter. Maybe he was just hearing things. He looked around the classroom one more time to double-check that nobody was waiting for him to “Get up” before he turned back to what he was supposed to be doing: the inventory for the festival.
“What was that?”
This voice Izuku did recognize. Looking up, he saw Kacchan looking back at him curiously. Their relationship had been… different since the war ended. They were a lot closer now, for one. Shared trauma tended to do that to people, he supposed. But not only that, it seemed they were friends now. Mutually this time. Even crazier, Kacchan was the one who would go out of his way to hang out with Izuku. It felt unreal. And even though they were well into the school year now, it would still shock Izuku sometimes when Kacchan would just walk up to him and start a conversation.
Most of this friendship didn't carry over to school, though. They mainly hung out in private, which was completely fine with Izuku. He found it quite endearing that Kacchan would try to keep up his tough persona at school. That’s not to say he was super soft when they were alone, he was still hard on Izuku, but in his own friendly way.
Izuku shook his head. “Nothing, I just thought I heard something.”
Kacchan hummed, not making a move to turn back around yet. There was silence for a second. “What was it?”
“You’re so nosy, Kacchan,” he laughed, putting a hand on his cheek and pushing until he was facing the front again. “It was nothing, get back to work.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, nerd!” he yelled, obliging anyway.
Izuku just smiled.
—
That evening, Izuku found himself in Kacchan’s dorm. It was silent, save for the occasional comment from one of them. Their version of hanging out was a bit different than most, but it worked for them. Izuku was sitting on a large, and impossibly soft, beanbag finishing up some homework, while Kacchan was sitting on his bed, finishing his part for the festival.
It was one of those moments of peace before something big happened, and Izuku oh so mistakenly assumed that the big thing was going to be the festival.
He was wrong, obviously.
“Get out.”
Izuku startled a little more this time. Not only because it sounded like the command was directly in his ear, but also because that wasn’t Kacchan’s voice. And nobody else was in the room.
He looked up. Kacchan looked to be pretty engrossed in his work and didn’t move at all when the voice sounded. Did he not notice then? Was it just Izuku? Should he say something?
His train of thought was cut quite abruptly off when a notification lit up on his phone. He reached for it with only slightly shaky hands and peered at the screen. Uraraka had messaged him asking if he wanted to help set up a few things. Kacchan was looking at him now, having heard the sound of the notification. Izuku didn’t think he would be able to keep things together under that gaze for much longer so he tore his head to the side and began gathering his things.
“They asked me if I could help out with some setting up for the festival,” he explained quickly, standing up and heading towards the door.
Kacchan hummed. His lips were turned down ever so slightly, but Izuku would have just been imagining things. Who knew nowadays.
Just as his hand was on the door, Kacchan finally spoke. “Izuku.”
The way Izuku turned around instantly was probably not normal. “Yeah?” he breathed.
It was silent for a moment and Izuku felt like he was going to explode. There was a faint buzzing in his ears that he hadn’t noticed until the room had gone still.
“Are you coming back?”
Blinking, Izuku nodded slowly. “Yeah…yeah, it shouldn’t take long.”
Kacchan hummed and Izuku was gone.
—
The buzzing in his ears wasn’t going away.
Izuku realized a little too late that setting up probably wasn’t something he should have agreed to. It was just loud enough that he couldn’t tell the difference between what was in his head and what people were actually saying. This led to a few awkward interactions but he was able to pass it off as just not hearing what was said to him. It would be hard to explain that he didn’t respond because he wasn’t sure if the words spoken to him were real or not, after all.
So he was a little paranoid now.
He wasn’t exactly sure what was going on. But wherever he was given a particularly long task, he would use that time to try and sort things out. His leading theory was that this had something to do with his injuries after the war. Perhaps he hit his head too hard and now his ears are buzzing and his head is aching and he can't stop sweating and his chest hurts and he keeps hearing things—
That wasn’t a very conclusive theory.
Izuku also figured it might have something to do with losing One For All because when he had the quirk he heard the voices of the past users from time to time. But this was different. It was hard to explain, but the past users, when they spoke to him, were always in his head. They never sounded like they were behind him or directly in his ear. Just like his inner thoughts but in a different pitch.
These new voices were nothing like that. They came from all around him at all different volumes. There was also this underlying feeling he got from them. Besides the paranoia, he also felt like they were trying to tell him something. Like what they were saying wasn’t just random phrases and words but an idea. He couldn’t be sure though. He’d have to listen to them more carefully.
—
Listening to them, as it turned out, was a horrible idea.
Izuku was at the top of a ladder, hammering something to keep something together. He wasn’t paying as much attention anymore; it was harder when he was trying to focus on hearing what the voices were saying while also not being suspicious. It was as difficult as it sounded.
He’d insisted on not making Uraraka waste her energy by using her quirk on him when he could just climb a ladder, and so she’d split off to work on something else.
Asui had been below him painting whatever it was they were working on when it happened.
“Quirkless!”
The voice had practically screamed this in his ear, causing him to jump so violently that the entire ladder shook and wobbled until it eventually fell over. Normally, Izuku would have been able to jump off in time, but the shock of hearing something he hadn’t heard in years, along with it being that loud, had him stunned long enough for him to tumble down with the ladder on top of him.
A cry rang out from somewhere nearby but Izuku was too dazed to think much about it. His arm was positioned strangely behind his back and he needed to move it. He knew it wasn’t broken, having been very familiar with the feeling of a broken bone, but it may have been sprained.
Pulling out his arm, something petrifying struck him. The hammer he was using was not there. Meaning, he must have dropped it at some point during the fall. And Asui was right below him…
A weight was lifted from his body as some savior moved the ladder to the side. Once his eyes focused, he realized it was Iida. He was out of breath, he must have used his quirk to rush over.
“Midoriya! Are you alright? What happened?”
Izuku stared blankly for a second. Should he answer or was he hearing things again? Iida’s voice was loud just like the last voice he heard. Should he trust it?
“Midoriya! Did you hit your head?” Iida was bending down. He grabbed Izuku by the shoulders and lifted him into a sitting position. “Do you remember what happened? How many fingers am I holding up?”
Izuku swatted the hand holding four fingers, thank you very much. He may be losing it but he can still see.
“I’m fine, Iida, that barely even hurt…” he was trying his best to be reassuring but his ears finally picked up on the commotion beside him and his eyes had no choice but to follow. There were two people who had their backs turned toward him. They were crouched over something, but he couldn’t see what.
His eyes finally adjusted, and he could make out the green of Asui’s hair. A disgusting feeling began to settle in his stomach and the buzzing in his ears became deafening. If that hammer fell on her head, it could kill her. He could have just killed someone, his friend .
He was shaking again but this time it wasn’t him. Iida had grabbed his shoulders and was lightly swishing him around. Izuku turned to look at him only to find his lips moving. That was strange. There was no sound coming out. Or at least, nothing he could hear over the buzzing. There was only one thing he could hear.
“Run.”
The voice whispered in his ear, and he swore he could feel the breath along his neck. He couldn’t leave yet though. He had to know what happened to Asui.
Standing up, Izuku found that he couldn’t quite keep himself balanced. He gripped the closest thing to him — the still-wet wall Asui was painting — and made his way over.
“Run.”
The first thing he saw, before he even fully entered their line of sight, was red. He was about one second away from listening to the voice before he saw the full picture.
It was her arm. The hammer had fallen and hit her forearm. She was alive.
That was at least a little relieving. But her arm was probably broken, badly.
“You did this.”
Izuku couldn’t even deny that. He wanted to throw up.
Asui noticed him standing there and looked up at him with large, wide eyes and–
“Run.”
–he listened.
—
Running helped. The buzzing was back down to tolerable, but he could hear again.
The voice(s) had switched to a low murmuring in his left ear now and he could barely make out what they were saying. All he knew was that it wasn’t anything encouraging.
He didn’t remember much of the run but he was standing in front of Kacchan’s door now. He should probably go in. He was sure standing outside made him look strange. And he also didn’t want to be found by anyone who was nearby when everything happened. Found was an odd way to put it but he felt it worked. If they saw him they may try to ask what happened, and if they did that he may just cry.
All Izuku wanted was to be alone right now, and being alone meant being with Kacchan.
He raised a hand to knock on the door only to get stuck on which one he should use. His left arm was covered in wet paint and his right one was tingling from the fall. He didn’t want to get paint on Kacchan’s door, but he also didn’t want to hurt himself further. Recovery Girl wouldn’t want to see him back so soon.
Just as he was about to use his elbow, Kirishima came around the corner and called out to him.
“Hey, Midoriya! What are you doing over here?”
Great, he was stuck again. Kirishima probably said that out loud right? The murmuring in his ear hadn’t let up at all so it was probably actually Kirishima.
“You okay, bro?” The redhead asked, beginning to walk over.
Oh, he took too long to reply. He began to formulate something to say in response when he heard something else.
“You’re going to hurt him.”
That one was particularly strange because it sounded like one of the voices, but the murmuring was still there the whole time it was being said. Was it someone else? Could he really not tell anymore?
“You’re going to hurt him like you hurt Asui.”
Kirishima was still staring at him, and Izuku was sure that was one of the voices because there was no way he knew about what had happened. He wasn’t there, was he?
Izuku needed to leave. He was going to hurt Kirishima.
Swiveling on his feet, he began to walk the other way. He considered running. He probably should.
The click of a door opening sounded in the hallway and that was when Izuku did run.
—
When he tuned back into his surroundings, he had no idea where he was. It was dark outside now, and he was somewhere with a lot of buildings — the city probably. He was terribly out of breath now and his throat was like sandpaper. Just how long had he been running for?
He reached for his phone to check the time and took in a shaky breath when he saw the amount of missed messages and calls he had. Most of them were from Kacchan, but there were quite a few from Iida and Uraraka too. He sighed and began walking in the direction he assumed was the way back to school. He needed to pull himself together. His friends were getting hurt and worrying about him.
“You’re gonna hurt them again.”
It seemed there was one main voice that was bothering him now. He ignored it and kept walking. It seemed that running all that distance had helped clear some of the fog that had entered his head after the fall. All he needed to do was get back.
And maybe get some water.
“How do you plan on keeping them safe if you can’t even protect yourself from a little fall?”
Izuku’s eyes latched onto the bright sign of a convenience store and headed that way. He had a few dollars on him. Hopefully enough for a bottle of water.
“They’re gonna keep getting hurt because you’re too weak now to protect them.”
The cheapest water bottle was just enough that he had a little extra money to buy Kacchan a treat. As a sorry token.
He grabbed a pack of his friend’s favorite gum and bought that and the water.
“Quirkless people shouldn’t be in the hero course. You’re wasting space.”
Well, that one was just false. He wasn’t quirkless. Not yet. He still had the embers of One For All. That was still a quirk.
It was when he exited the store and began walking that he saw it: a figure in the corner of his vision…
It was probably just a trick of the light.
“You’ll never be a hero without a real quirk. You know this.”
Obviously, he did. Izuku wasn’t stupid. He knew he didn’t have a chance to work as a hero in the future, but–
“Then leave. You don’t belong there.”
He did. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be there.
…Right?
There was another figure in the back of an alleyway now. He was beginning to get this dreadful feeling. Would he ever be able to tell the difference between what’s real? He was getting decent at recognizing the voice, but that was only because nobody was around. But if he was seeing things now too? What if he thought he saw a villain but it was really an innocent civilian? What if he attacked that person?
“You’re not safe to be around like this.”
“It’s your fault!” Izuku shot back before clapping a hand over his mouth — and yeah, there was definitely something wrong with his arm. But he couldn’t respond to this thing out loud. He knew he was losing it but he couldn’t let anyone else find out. Maybe they would kick him from the hero course if they thought he wasn’t mentally sound.
He was though.
He…was.
“You can’t hide this forever. You might as well get it over with. They already think you’re crazy after that stunt you pulled today.”
“I didn’t…” Izuku whispered. There was another figure. It looked like Mom.
“She looks lost.”
She did. He should go help her. She was probably out there because of him anyway.
Izuku followed Mom behind a building where they stopped. He reached out, too scared to say anything out loud. He didn’t trust his mouth at the moment, but he needed her to know he was there. He wanted to help her.
The moment his hand grazed her shoulder, her skin began to bubble and melt off.
“All you seem to do is hurt people, don’t you?”
Izuku ripped his hand away but the damage was already done. All she was was a lump on the concrete.
He stared. He stared for a long time. The voice was talking to him but he’d managed to tune it out. All he could see was the crumpled form of his mother.
Many hours — or minutes, he had no idea — he heard footfalls behind him. He didn’t turn around. They weren’t real.
Moments later, hands were on his shoulder and he could feel the vibrations of words being spoken. He couldn’t hear them. He didn’t turn around.
Whatever was behind him moved into his line of sight and his eyes focused on the worried expression of Kacchan. He jerked himself away. He couldn’t have Kacchan melt because he touched him, even if he wasn’t real.
This one was real though. That was the only thing in his life he was sure of. He could feel it, this thing was actually there.
Kacchan was breathing heavily and looked quite disheveled. He was coming closer again. Izuku backed away. The voice was back to a constant murmur in his ears and for that, he was somewhat grateful. Being singled out wasn’t fun.
He blinked and suddenly Kacchan had his wrists in a tight grasp. He tried to pull away but was unsuccessful. Perhaps he had gotten that much weaker. He was only being held with one hand.
Kacchan proceeded to lead him throughout the city back toward their dorms. About halfway through their walk — he’d gone far — Izuku mustered up the courage to speak. He still didn’t trust himself, but Kacchan had asked him what happened at the beginning of their walk and he needed to answer.
“Kacchan?”
There was a hitch in breath. “Yeah, Izuku?”
That was all it took for him to begin explaining everything. It took the of the rest of their walk, and he had to stop a few times to make sure Kacchan was still there, but he felt so relieved. Like he had an anchor in a hurricane.
They made it back to the dorms. Kacchan was no longer dragging him, they were closer to holding hands now. It was far too late at night to see Recovery Girl, so they elected to see her first thing in the morning.
In the meantime, Kacchan insisted that he shouldn’t be left alone in “his state” whatever that meant. So, they ended up in the same bed. Normally Izuku would be horribly embarrassed by this, but he was far too tired to care.
And with low voices whispering in his ears, he curled up into his warm pillow and assured himself that whatever was wrong with him, it would be okay in the morning.