Chapter Text
The first birthday Jacob remembers was his 5th, and he remembers it well. The day was magical, lights all strung on trees, banners strung between them, and everyone focusing on him as the sunshine gleamed on his face, he sat contentedly on a swing with a wide smile. His old parents were there by technicality, but barely. They were blurry snapshots of life long lost, he knew were business workers, ones for some Landgraab factory that he couldn’t bother to find. He doesn’t remember their name, or hell, even their faces. He just knows that on the day of June 23rd, 2008, they were there, and then they weren't. He was left alone. His parents got called out for a meeting, leaving the other parents of his friends, even blurrier faces, in charge of him. One by one, they filed away, having more important things to do. More important things than him, of course. No one came for him. His tears streamed down, catching the attention of problems far greater than anything of his mind. Greater than anything then being left alone at a birthday party.
There were monsters, a gray wolf painted grimly with blood and gore, as well as a ghoulish man, a vampire. Its clothing was clean, but its face, oh it’s face was covered in viscera. It was truly a ghastly sight, but to a five year old boy…it was a nightmare. He remembers running, a limp kind of run, one out of panic and stress. He held his breath, trying his best not to be too loud. There were monsters out there, one's that wanted to get him. He remembers the claws, his fighting, a pair of fangs, and a bite, feral and painful. A poor little boy crying out for help, illuminated only by the cruel light of the moon. The infinite sky above uncaring, as blood poured from his shoulder. He still has the scar, faded yet mangled right up above his left bicep. It definitely healed wrong, just like his brain. He can't remember much for a reason? Right? Then why does the image of that little boy still haunt his dreams; the hungry wolf, ready to make a meal out of the sheep before him?
He doesn't remember a lot of his childhood. Not much more than June 23rd, 2008. How would he? He merely knows echoes, whispers of him being missing, and his hiding. He hid, everyone was a monster to him, and he couldn’t let the monsters find him again. He couldn’t let it happen, he was a 5 year old boy against the world. His mommy and daddy left him, and as far as he knows, he never saw them again. Did they mourn him? Think of him dead? He remembers sobbing near the trunk of a tree, hungry and tired. He as a child was on the run, stealing food for the next few weeks from picnics, hoping and praying that maybe, just maybe, someone would come for him. Maybe some monsters were nice? The night crawled on forever
He remembers the full moon. July 7th, 2008. The day was long and warm, he had his shirt wrapped around his wound, and so the heat wasn’t a problem for him. Food, however, was. He saw the sky differently. In hindsight, he knows he was most likely in Moonwood Mill and not Evergreen Harbor at that point, but the five year old version of him didn’t know that. How would he be able to? The night creeped out like a wolf waiting for his prey. His transformation was difficult, children aren’t supposed to be turned into werewolves. Like many others, he has a difficulty remembering what happens during his transformations, but it was crystal clear for him that night. Every werewolf remembers their first transformation. Even if it was when you were 5 years old, scared and alone. He remembers seeing other wolves that night, all inhuman like him. All of them were monsters. He was a monster. Werebies be fucking damned. His breath hitched as fur inched across his skin, he shivered at the grotesque feeling. His mouth was full of coppery blood as his teeth sharpened in his mouth, painful and disgusting. His mouth dripped blood; it poured out of his mouth as his transformation completed. He was scared, of himself, of the world around him, everything. A small wolf pup lost in a world entirely unfamiliar to him. He ran aimlessly, trying to hide from everyone. He was a monster.
He didn’t know what to do, he was a beast, one scared of his new form. Confused and scared, he searched around, looking for anyone to help him figure out what was happening to him. He saw other wolves, more monsters, but they all ignored him, like the humans around him.
Two of the monsters, these two being two other wolves, approached him wearily, unsure and with a confused fascination. They’d never seen a werewolf this young before. Most born werewolves can’t turn until they become teenagers, but this was different. This boy was turned. Jacob cowered back, flinching hard when the two wolves crawled closer. The wolf on the left had eerily similar fur to the wolf that attacked him, but its eyes were different. They looked kinder. NO! He couldn’t let his guard down. That’s how he got hurt the last time. They turned their heads inquisitive, the wolf on the right stepping forward before the wolf to the left stopped it. This is where the clarity of his memories stops. He remembers following, nodding with the gray wolf and letting her close. He doesn’t know the time, but the moon is going down by the time he follows the wolves to their den. He doesn’t remember much after that. He didn’t know that he would be meeting his future caretakers.
-
“Lily.” Kristopher said simply, as he tended to the garden, careful not to be so loud as to wake the sleeping wolf pup below him. He had left his wolf form, now just a boy. He didn’t look older than 7. He looked malnourished, and scared. Lily glared at him.
“We aren’t able to house another pup, Kristopher,” she speaks slowly, and with a bit of an accent. After being in her wolf form for much of her adult life, aimlessly wandering the tunnels of Moonwood Mill, she’d found trouble forming sentences and thus spoke both quietly and slowly. It was more apparent when she had something on her mind, as she spoke faster and with more intent. This time was no exception.
“Lily, we can not leave him for dead. He is a growing child, who knows what could happen to him!?”
“We simply do not have the time or space to take him in. You have your hands full with Rory already, Kristopher. 你给我小心点。你流血的心将导致你的死亡。You have to let him go.”
Kristopher shook his head, letting the comment fall off his back so as to not ignite his fury, “Lily, what are we supposed to do!? You yourself have likened yourself to the boy. Why can’t you let me, as the leader of this pack, make this decision?”
Lily’s fury peaked a bit, her eyes glaring at him, “You really think this is a good idea? Fine then. 我警告过你。We simply can not make more rash decisions like this, it’s hurting the pack,” her nails, no, her claws wrapped around the flowers she was foraging for, angry and decided. “We’ll have to have one of the collective move out of the cabin, to make room.”
He smiled feebly at his usually quite cheerful companion as she stared with a scowl, “I’ll do a vote tomorrow, to keep things in order.”
She took a deep breath and sighed, significantly reducing the amount of anger welling up in her body, “And you know you’re sure about this?”
“Sure as I’ll ever be.”
–
Jacob woke up scared and alone, like usual. He found a blanket wrapped around his body, and that his skin was a normal brown once more. He was okay. Was it all a bad dream? Was it over? He hoped that much. He took a quick look around him to see his surroundings. The room looked wooden, and he knew that he was inside. He was used to the stark beige walls of his apartment building, so he definitely wasn’t at his mommy and daddy’s home. He was in a bunk bed, laid to rest by someone, the bed was comfortable, but he didn’t want to sleep. He also saw that his wounds were bandaged up. He took a step out of the bunk bed, before being scared by a girl sitting on the bunk above.
“WHO GOES THERE,” she snarled dramatically, her brown hair raining down like a shower upon the scared little boy beneath her. He shrieked.
“I DON’T KNOW, I’M SORRY!!!!!” a small voice cried out, he was utterly terrified. The girl above him cackled like a crow, smiling ear to ear. Her fangs were on full display. He shivered.
“HA! The look on your face–,” she wiped away a tear from her face and continued giggling, “Sorry sorry, Kristopher told me to stop doing that. No but really, who are you? Why are you in my room? Did Lily bring you here?”
Jacob gulped, he was bombarded with questions that he didn’t know the answer to. He was 5. He nervously croaked one, “I-i don’t know!! I’m Jacob…and I don’t um..know how I got here. That’s it…”
The brown haired girl slid down the rungs of the ladder of the bunk bed and bright herself to Jacob's level, “Huh, peculiar, well I’m sorry! Rory Volkov, nice to meetcha, he cowered back again. She frowned, “Hey, hey it’s okay, sorry for scaring you and stuff. I didn’t mean it, plus I do it to everyone. It annoys my dad so badly—heh.”
“Okay..” he finally got a look at her; she had short shaggy brown hair, a big smile, and bandages littering her skin. She punched his arm warmly, He took a deep breath, calming down in the presence of this stranger.
There was a click of the door, and a man who looked like the wolf from his dreams(?) walked through. His coat had fun patterns that mesmerized him, lessening his fear a decent amount. He smiled kindly and knelled before the two, “Why hello there, little guy–, what’s your name?”
“His name is Jacob and he’s a scaredy cat!”
Jacob nodded feebly, but the man frowned, “Rory, he can speak for himself, also did you scare him? I told you to stop doing that!”
“Sorry!!”
He groaned, before softening his face when he looked at Jacob, “Well, Jacob, we wound you hurt and alone in the woods and we want to ask you if you’d like to stay with us. You’re quite a special case, so if you choose, we can become your new caretaker.”
“他不会理解你, Kristopher,” said a woman in the doorway, barefoot and with gray hair, speckled with gray strands. She looked older than the man, probably named Kristopher.
He huffs, and rephrases his statement, “Would you like to live with us? We can help take care of you.”
Jacob's eyes widen, and he’s a bit scared, he stutters out, “Really?”
The woman walks through the door and crouches to his level alongside the man, being shorter and softer than he was, “Of course, Jacob.”
He smiles, and hugs their arms, little hands grasping them. He mouths out a quiet thank you.
“Let’s go!! New sibling,” Rory grins out eagerly.
Jacob lingers on the word sibling, and hugs her back.
-
Jacob is alone now. He can’t even remember his own childhood and his sister is gone. She’s found a new family, a better one and he sighs. He can’t even bring himself to cry about it, he has no tears left to shed. All he can do is grieve. Grieve his childhood, grieve his sister, and grieve his own existence.
Grief seemed to define his life. The day is June 22rd, 2022. He will be at his birthday party, physically at least. But not mentally. He doesn’t want the clock to turn to 12, bringing him into the world of adulthood. Bringing him to leadership of the collective.
Grief really does define him, doesn’t it.