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“Damn!” The woman in front of him swore as one of the paper bags full of groceries tore. She struggled to shift the other bags on her arms enough that she could reach down to get anything else.
Spencer immediately went to help her pick things up, grateful that it was mostly just a box of cereal and a few bags of Hallowe’en candy. It’s not that he didn’t want to help this woman; he’d just prefer not having to hunt down oranges in the parking lot while he did. Especially not after it’s been raining on and off the entire morning.
“Here,” he said, holding out the cereal and candies.
“Thanks,” the woman said, not looking up at him right away as she dug through her purse for her car keys. “Lucky for me, it hasn’t rained in an hour or so, right?” Her joke died on her lips, her smile freezing, when she looked up.
Spencer was equally taken aback, not expecting to ever run into her again, even though he had hoped he would. As the years past, that hope dwindled further and further, but it was still there. Seeing her again startled him.
She didn’t seem to have changed much since her time at the BAU. Well, not physically, at least. She still had the same dark eyes that burned with so much emotion; the same tanned and freckled skin that let everyone know if she’d been in the sun for more than two hours; the same tightness at the corners of her eyes, revealing the burdens she held. Her hair was darker now; not by much, but enough that even Spencer noticed. It was wavy, and pulled back into a messy ponytail, like she was rushing around and didn’t have the time to make it look sleek.
She seems to have traded in the warm tones she wore so often for lighter neutrals and deep greens. Her style, otherwise, didn’t seem to have changed at all. It was almost like Spencer was looking at a parallel universe version of her, as if he’d gone through the Looking Glass.
“Elle,” he said, his voice coming out as barely more than a whisper.
“Hey, Spence,” she said, voice and expression carefully neutral. “It’s been a long time.”
“Yeah, it, it has,” he stumbled over his words, still not really believing it was Elle.
Headlights passed over them as a driver passive aggressively waited in-between two rows for them to move out of the way. Elle cleared her throat. “My, uh, my car’s just over there.” She pressed a button on the remote, and a silver car started several spots away.
She and Spencer walked over to her car, the broken paper bag dangling oddly from Elle’s wrist. The driver of the car behind them had their windows down and said loudly enough for the two of them to hear as they pulled into the spot, “Fucking finally. Jesus Christ, I can’t catch a damn break anywhere in this fucking city.”
Elle rolled her eyes, not even bothering to look back at the driver. Spencer frowned, unsure of if he should make an attempt to profile the driver or not.
“It’s not worth it, Spence,” she called over her shoulder.
He couldn’t stop the huff of laughter that escaped him as she seemed to have known what he was thinking. Several years have passed, and somehow they fell into old patterns in a matter of seconds.
She came to a stop behind the silver car and waited. He stood next to her, not sure what to do now. “Well?” She asked, “I’m waiting.”
“Huh?” Spencer said reflexively, connecting the dots as soon as he’d said anything. “Oh! Right, sorry.” He opened the trunk, and Elle immediately set her bags down into it.
“Thanks,” she said, half-teasing, half-sarcastic. He gave her his signature lips curled inwards smile, and handed her the rest of her groceries. She shut the trunk, and leaned against her car, hands in her jacket pockets.
“So?” She prompted after a couple moments of silence.
“How are you, Elle?” Spencer asked, voice coming out more softly than he’d intended it.
“I’m doing good,” she started, then corrected herself. “I’m doing well,” she cast a look at him before he could say anything.
He held his hands up in defense, “I didn’t say anything!”
“You were going to, Mr. Spellcheck.”
It was Spencer’s turn to roll his eyes.
Elle laughed and then continued. “I’m getting ready for Hallowe’en, obviously. Brought out all the decorations to make my house look as autumnal as possible. I even have some small haystacks next to the porch.” She hesitated. “My daughter is excited. This year is the first year she’s going trick-or-treating with her cousins. They finally moved into the area after months of already practically living down the street.”
“You have a daughter?” Spencer asked, the words in his mouth bittersweet. He’s missed out on so much of Elle’s life.
Elle’s smile grew softer at the thought of her daughter. “Her name is Bella. She’s starting kindergarten next year. My partners complain that she’s growing up too fast, but I feel the same. It’s like just yesterday I could tote her around in a carrier, and now she’s wanting to learn to ice skate.”
“Wow, Elle, that sounds amazing,” Spencer said honestly. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks, Spence,” she said, “that means a lot.”
“… Why did you leave…?” Spencer left the question hanging in the air between them, not sure how he wanted it to end. Me? Us? Without saying goodbye? Not even a note?
A hand came out of Elle’s pocket, and she rubbed at where he presumed her scar would be. She took a breath in and let it out slowly. The sounds of traffic and birds calling to each other filled the space between them. “I didn’t think I had any other choice.”
“And now?” He asked, not wanting to think about why he was pressing the issue. “Looking back, do you think there was another choice?”
She gave a sad smile, eyes revealing how tired she still must feel from that. “No. There was no other choice I could’ve made. No other choice I would’ve made.”
“I understand,” Spencer said, not certain if he was lying or not.
Elle nodded as if she knew how conflicted he was. She turned and walked to the driver’s side, getting ready to get in and go back home. Back to the daughter she now has, and her partners to support her and help her. Spencer stepped away from her car.
“Elle,” he called out as she was getting in.
She paused and looked back at him.
“For what it’s worth,” he took in a sharp breath. “I’m sorry.” Sorry for not trying harder, for not being good enough, for not doing more when you were so obviously struggling.
“I know,” she said simply. And then, “I forgive you.”
A weight Spencer had grown so accustomed to over the years that he forgot it was there in the first place lifted from his chest. “Maybe I’ll see you around?” He tried to keep the hope from shining through too obviously in his question.
“Maybe,” Elle answered. “Bye, Spencer.” Her door closed, and the brake lights flashed on.
He took another step back, giving her room to back out of the space. He watched silently as Elle gave him one last small smile and a wave, before her car soon wound its way out of the parking lot.
“Maybe,” he murmured, watching her car disappear into traffic. “Bye, Elle.”